Debate with my wife

[Eaglesfan27]

She told me to post this debate we were having here. She said I have to post all of the important details to give context. Her grandmother (whom I've become close to over the past 5 years) had her 76th birthday today. We went and visited for about 3 hours in the afternoon. Grandmom didn't want to go out to dinner because she wasn't feeling well (which happens too often unfortunately.) We decided to leave at that point because she was wanting to cook dinner, but we could both tell that was just because she wanted to be a gracious host. We didn't want to have to put her and grandfather through that, particularly since we just had dinner at their place recently.

In any case, we left. As we were driving home, I said "let's stop and get dinner. Where do you want to go?"

We debated for a while and eventually decided the Outback Steakhouse. As we were starting to eat, I noticed a 18-20 year old couple across the aisle to the right of us. They were clearly having an awkward date. I made a comment to the effect of isn't it nice that we don't have to go through that awkward phase anymore. We are having a nice date with good conversation.

She objected vehemently at that point, and made it clear that this wasn't a date in her opinion. I asked her why not, and she replied "Because you didn't ask me out on a date. You asked me out to dinner. We were both hungry and we just decided to stop and get dinner."

WTF? I reminded her that was how I asked her out on dates back when we were dating before we were married. She replied, "That was different. You were courting me back then and it was understood that going to dinner meant a date. It doesn't mean that anymore."

We went through a series of debates about what makes a date for married couples. She threw out ideas such as dressing up. I reminded her when we started dating, I was a poor student and I almost never dressed up. She then said that we had to do something besides just dinner for it to be a date. I reminded her that we were planning on going home and spending "quality time together." She said that didn't make for a date either.

We went through a few more debates which I quite honestly forget (I'm quite glad that she will never read this board but will just expect me to read her the replies tomorrow.) I remember the last one was that it wasn't a date because we had gone out to spend time with her grandmother and that dinner was a spur of the moment thing. I reminded her that several of our past dates had been quite spontaneous. Finally, we came back to the only reason this wasn't a date was because I specifically didn't ask her out on a date. She then said that our last date was our 6th anniversary back in May.


So do you think this was a date? (We have a bet on this, but I'm not allowed to tell what the deciding criteria will be until after it is decided.)

What are the criteria for dinner out to be a date for a married couple?

[Buccaneer]

Without reading the post, just say she's right and you are wrong.

[Eaglesfan27]

Without reading the post, just say she's right and you are wrong.

Then, I don't win the bet and I really want to win this bet :)

However, you are probably correct about what I should do.

[gottimd]

Well, according to the dictionary:
Date= An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.

According to a wife:
Date=When I say it is a date.

Edit:I wonder how long until a Parody thread shows up of this?

[Ksyrup]

I don't think about dating anymore now that I'm married. We don't "date." Perhaps that answers your question indirectly, since we go out to eat at least twice a week on average. With the kids, of course.

[Flasch186]

my GF says that getting dressed up now is one of the denoting factors of a date...the problem is she gets dressed up (makeup and such) while I dont..then what?

[Ksyrup]

my GF says that getting dressed up now is one of the denoting factors of a date...the problem is she gets dressed up (makeup and such) while I dont..then what?
She's dating someone else.

[oliegirl]

I would say that a date for a married couple entails previously made plans with a specific destination. I don't think dressing up is a requirement, but a spontaneous dinner out doesn't qualify as a date.

[cthomer5000]

The evening is under review....

http://lovetohate.us/fofc/ref.png



**dramatic pause***


No Date! Dinner was incidental, and you would have been dining with grandma had things gone according to the original plan.

[hoosierdude]

ANYtime a man and wife go out to dinner without kids or family members, just themselves, it is a date. If you aren't using the groceries to fix the food at the home kitchen, and you have to sit down where someone ELSE feeds you, consider it a date.

Dressed up isn't the be all and end all for "dates". My wife and I have went out in shorts and tshirts and called it a date. A date for your wife may mean something much different, as in the dress up qualifier, but in my book, if I ask a lady to somewhere besides my home for food, it comes down as a date.

YMMV however. Good Luck!

[jbmagic]

i dont think this is a date. sorry

your plan was to goto her Grandmother house for here Birthday and take her out to dinner for her Birthday.

you had no plans to take your wife on a date today :)

[gottimd]

What if you go out to dinner with your mistress and your wife?

[WSUCougar]

I think it's collateral datage. You're both right.*






*actually, I wouldn't consider your circumstance a date, but my wife might

[Psmith]

Hmmm... I would say that since you're spending time together (both in public and at home, ahem), it doesn't really matter what you call it. But obviously your wife feels that she's missing out on something important because you two don't make it special or different somehow when you go out. Sooo, can we just admit that your wife is being perplexing but that you, as a loving if slightly bewildered husband, will adhere to her definition of dating since it makes a difference to her?

This situation reminds me of a quote from an Edith Wharton story I was recently reading: "They had reached the memorable moment in every heart history when, for the first time, the man seems obtuse and the woman irrational."

Of course, that doesn't help with the bet, but it's the best I can give you. And I'm female, by the way, if you think that might make a difference in my viewpoint.

[sabotai]

What are the criteria for dinner out to be a date for a married couple?
There is none. Married people do not go on dates.

I guess it's just my perspective, but once you are even at the "going out" or "exclusive" stage of the relationship, it's not longer a "date". "Plans", yes. But to me a "date" is something that two people who are, at the most, "dating" do.

[dawgfan]

I'm going to have to side with your wife on this one. Once you're married, to go on a "date" requires that you preface the event or you both agree as the event is unfolding to describe it as such, otherwise it's just assumed to be standard operating procedure of being married.

I don't think a married "date" requires getting dressed-up, but that is often the case - married couples tend to make "dates" events that are out of the ordinary, like going out to a nice meal and then seeing a play/movie/concert, maybe renting a hotel room.

[Hurst2112]

It's a date. You win the bet. Get ready for some good butt sex!







































Seriously, I don't think its a date. Just getting something to eat at a whim is somethig that I call 'hangin out with my best friend'.

You don't have to dress up, but a date (in my eyes) between spouses should be planned.

[Eaglesfan27]

It's a date. You win the bet. Get ready for some good butt sex!




ROFL. Under our agreement, I'm not allowed to try to sway anyone tonight or post in this thread anything substantial. However, THAT is not what this bet is about :)

[Lorena]

Is there such a thing as a "date" after you get married? When the Antman and I go out, that's what we're doing... GOING OUT, not dating. Dating is when you go out with someone to get to know them.

Just a chick's point of view, but then again, I'm not the "ordinary" type of chick.

[Maple Leafs]

No, it's not a date.

No, it makes absolutely no sense for her to make any sort of issue out of this.

[oliegirl]

How many posts are needed until a final decision is made and we can find out the results of the bet?

[Eaglesfan27]

How many posts are needed until a final decision is made and we can find out the results of the bet?

It's not a set number. The time frame was until noon tomorrow. Any comments after that don't count. Also, there is a weighting of posts, but I'm not supposed to discuss the specifics of that either. Mrs. Eaglesfan is asleep already, so I can't even discuss with her if I should be posting this, but oh well. ;)

[MJ4H]

DATE. FINAL ANSWER.

[Draft Dodger]

date. no question.

[oliegirl]

It's not a set number. The time frame was until noon tomorrow. Any comments after that don't count. Also, there is a weighting of posts, but I'm not supposed to discuss the specifics of that either. Mrs. Eaglesfan is asleep already, so I can't even discuss with her if I should be posting this, but oh well. ;)


Dude - you are SO whipped!

[saldana]

being married for 4+ years, i would have to say what you had was not a date. what qualifies for my wife and i as a date involves pre-planning the time and day, and the place. stopping at randomly selected places while we are out doing something else is just a substitue for cooking our own dinner. dressing up is not a requirement, but the premeditation of the evenings' event are what sets one from the other....advantage...your wife.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Not a date. Don't argue with me or I'll throw something.http://dynamic.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/mad.gif

Hormones. Baby made me say that http://dynamic.gamespy.com/%7Efof/forums/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[CamEdwards]

ROFL. Under our agreement, I'm not allowed to try to sway anyone tonight or post in this thread anything substantial. However, THAT is not what this bet is about :)

If that's not what the bet is about, then why the heck does the bet even matter? :D

[Noop]

If a married guy gets a blowjob from his wife is it taboo to brag to his buddies that he got some head? And to answer the question it is a date.

[Lathum]

no date, all you were doing was fulfilling a mutual need. It is no different then if you were with your sister or mother. You were hungry so you stopped and ate.

[Tigercat]

If two random people are out together and one doesn't think its a date its not a date. The opposite is true upon marriage, however. (You know part of the whole union thing.) If one of you feels its a date, its a date for you both. So your own opinion on the matter seals it in my mind. I say date.

[Yellow5]

ANYtime a man and wife go out to dinner without kids or family members, just themselves, it is a date. If you aren't using the groceries to fix the food at the home kitchen, and you have to sit down where someone ELSE feeds you, consider it a date.

I'm with you on this one. We have two kids and it's rare that we get a chance to go out and have dinner together. When we do, we refer to it as a "date" planned or not.

We define a "date" as any quality time together without the kids. Dinner, movie, trip to the ice cream shop, whatever... :)

[JonInMiddleGA]

Two votes here, mine & my wife's.

Oddly enough, I'd have to go with a narrow not-a-date. I think it passes all the reasonable tests except that it was a little too accidental in nature. I think if you're sitting at home & say "wanna go to Outback", that counts. In this case, it just doesn't strike me a deal that says "it's a date".

My wife, on the other hand, had a very quick & simple "yes, it was definitely a date".
She said as far as she's concerned, any time she's out with me alone (i.e. sans child) doing pretty much anything, that's a date to her.

So, 1 yes & 1 no, neatly cancelling each other out.

[sterlingice]

The evening is under review....

http://lovetohate.us/fofc/ref.png



**dramatic pause***


No Date! Dinner was incidental, and you would have been dining with grandma had things gone according to the original plan.
Genius! :D

SI

[Dutch]

For the love of God, if you know what is good for you....just admit you are wrong.

[Buzzbee]

Definitely not a date. There was no effort to make this particular meal special in any way. If you had eaten at McDonalds would you still have considered it a date? If not, then your criteria of a date depends on the quality or price of the food and is totally independent of your companion. If so, then is any meal at McDonalds alone with your wife a date? Or would it have to be part of a 'road trip' to be considered a date?

To me, a date between a married couple is an event where the sole purpose is for the couple to spend time together and is outside the realm of normal activity.

I think your 'date' fails on both counts. The purpose of your meal wasn't to spend time together. The purpose of the trip was to see grandmom on her birthday. Eating dinner (presumably at dinner time) on the way home from a trip isn't outside the realm of normal activity. If you rarely eat at Outback, and then only on special occasions then it might qualify as being outside the realm of normal activity, but would fail the purpose test.

Just my $0.02.

[sterlingice]

Without reading the post, just say she's right and you are wrong. For the love of God, if you know what is good for you....just admit you are wrong. This is a mentality that just drives me up a wall. And none of the girls are saying it, the guys just sit there and perpetuate it over and over. *sigh* (and I'm sure this will just be followed by a response something to the effect of "he's young, he'll learn" and a complete talking down to)

SI

[Celeval]

My wife and I talked about this a bit and came up generally agreeing. There are a number of factors that can make something a date - you don't necessarily have to have all of them, and many times just one will do. We came up with two major ones.

- Romance, either during the time out naturally, or the intent for romance. If you're out to eat, not really planning anything, but spend most of the evening in nice conversation, holding hands; or your evening jog/walk together turns left and ends up walking down the beach, then that's a date. If the intent for romance is there from the start, but the night flops and isn't romantic in the slightest, it still qualifies (but is just a bad date).

- Something out of the ordinary. Do you usually go to Outback? Or is it something that is pretty regular - every week or two? An example for us - if we were in the same situation and ended up going by Eggspectation (a good place that we eat at pretty often), probably not a date. If we say "Ya know, let's go to Maggiano's", then it's basically a date.

Thoughts?

[Celeval]

The purpose of your meal wasn't to spend time together. The purpose of the trip was to see grandmom on her birthday. Eating dinner (presumably at dinner time) on the way home from a trip isn't outside the realm of normal activity. If you rarely eat at Outback, and then only on special occasions then it might qualify as being outside the realm of normal activity, but would fail the purpose test.
But the trip to see Grandma is separate from the trip to Outback. If my wife came and picked me up from work, and on the way home we saw a movie and dinner, it'd be a date regardless of the source of the travel.

I agree on the second part - if Outback is standard operating procedure, then no big deal. If it's someplace maybe you haven't been for a while, it is. Doesn't even have to be special occasions only, imho; just out of the ordinary.

[Ksyrup]

We've got to find a babysitter...

[Pumpy Tudors]

Every time my wife and I do go out and do something that's not essentially a household chore, we consider it a date. If we go to a hockey game, it's a date. If we go to the casino (well, when we lived someplace that has casinos), it's a date. If we go out to eat, it's a date. If we go to Target, we are buying things for the house, and it is therefore not a date.

I should say that the above is my definition of a date. She might think that going to Target is a date, in which case I would say that she is a fucking loon.

[Eaglesfan27]

There are a huge variety of places to eat in New Orleans, and I would say we go to the Outback maybe once a year. We have a few places that are for our most romantic dates, such as anniversaries (those places are Commander's Palace, Antoine's, and a few others.)

Also, the thing that is really bothering me is that she doesn't think we've been on ANY dates since our anniversary. Two weeks ago, during her vacation time, we specifically went out to dinner several times, we held hands, gazed into each other's eyes, came home and spent quality time together (also went to a show one night.) Weren't any of those nights a date? She seems to think none of those nights were a date according to her side of the debate tonight, since I didn't use the syntax that she wants and specifically ask her out for a "date"!?!

I really was going to hold my tongue til tomorrow regarding that, but oh well. It looks like I'm already losing horribly anyway, and I doubt this will really sway you all from the specific issue of tonight.

[vtbub]

No date.

Dressing up, drinking and fine dining are date requirements.

In my wife's case, Japanese food too.

[houle]

If during your "quality time" you find yourself munching on something then its a date. And therein may be the answer as to why your wife doesn't think you've been on a date in forever.

[Schmidty]

I wish this was a debate by a New Englander and his Wife about "Mass". :(

[Eaglesfan27]

If during your "quality time" you find yourself munching on something then its a date. And therein may be the answer as to why your wife doesn't think you've been on a date in forever.
No, that has not been an issue. We have a wide variety of things that we do during our "quality time."


Except for tonight when she had a headache (a real one, I believe.) Our debate was quite jovial.

[vtbub]

I wish this was a debate by a New Englander and his Wife about "Mass". :(

I'm a New Englander, and I can't argue about my wife's mass.

[Dutch]

This is a mentality that just drives me up a wall. And none of the girls are saying it, the guys just sit there and perpetuate it over and over. *sigh* (and I'm sure this will just be followed by a response something to the effect of "he's young, he'll learn" and a complete talking down to)

SI

It was not meant designed to drive you up a wall, but just a joke to make ya smile, but your still young, you'll learn. :D

[Eaglesfan27]

I'm also starting to think that I had too much wine tonight, and I better go to sleep soon before I post something I regret.

(EDIT: To clarify, we drank wine at home, well we opened a bottle and she had a glass before her headache got too much worse. I've since finished off a good portion of the bottle. We didn't drink wine at the Outback.)

[sterlingice]

It was not meant designed to drive you up a wall, but just a joke to make ya smile, but your still young, you'll learn. :D
Sorry, my sarcasm meter always seems to miss the mark online. Still, I see a lot of people say stuff like that who are serious.

SI

[korme]

Wow tell her to stop taking crazypills. I'm pretty sure after I get married I'm going to stop asking my wife on dates. That's nonsense.

[Galaxy]

Tough call. Eaglesfan, you don't have children, right? If not, then you pretty well "alone" all the time.

[vtbub]

Wow tell her to stop taking crazypills. I'm pretty sure after I get married I'm going to stop asking my wife on dates. That's nonsense.

Hope you enjoy the couch and Mr. Hand.

[korme]

Is there such a thing as a "date" after you get married? When the Antman and I go out, that's what we're doing... GOING OUT, not dating. Dating is when you go out with someone to get to know them.

Just a chick's point of view, but then again, I'm not the "ordinary" type of chick.
That's what I was getting at.

I say Eagles wins the bet because there is no such thing as a date when you are married, thus one can not expect to be asked to go on a date.

After you're even exclusively seeing each other, a date is out of the window IMO. If I have a girlfriend, I'll be like "Hey do you want to get something to eat?"... not "Hey you want to go out on a date?" That's for getting to know people and see if sparks are there, IMO.

[Eaglesfan27]

Tough call. Eaglesfan, you don't have children, right? If not, then you pretty well "alone" all the time.

No children. However, we rarely get to spend time together during the past two months because she is working 40-50 hours/week as a chef and taking 10-12 hours of classes.

Unfortunately, she works 3-11 and I work 8-5. Once, my Tuesday contract goes through, we won't have any days off together except for around holidays. Normally, she works Tuesdays and she was lucky to have her request for today off given to her.

As an aside, we are planning on starting a family in 2-3 years if things go to plan. She is only 26 and we think that will be the right time.

[korme]

And if nothing else, Eaglesfan really wants to win this bet so even if you side with his wife just say you side with him so he can tell us his cool victory prize.

[sterlingice]

Hope you enjoy the couch and Mr. Hand. So you're saying you like not winning any arguments because you like to have sex leveraged against you?

SI

[Eaglesfan27]

And if nothing else, Eaglesfan really wants to win this bet so even if you side with his wife just say you side with him so he can tell us his cool victory prize.

To be fair, I'll tell you all of the conditions of the bet and both victory prizes, no matter who wins.

[Galaxy]

No date.

Dressing up, drinking and fine dining are date requirements.

In my wife's case, Japanese food too.

I never understood these "requirements"? I though the idea of a date was to have "quality time" with someone, no matter what you did (a movie, a dinner at the Ritz or at Outback, a concert, ect.).

[vtbub]

So you're saying you like not winning any arguments because you like to have sex leveraged against you?

SI

You do have to be romantic on occasion.

[korme]

Hope you enjoy the couch and Mr. Hand.
Heh, I didn't mean I wouldn't take her out. I just don't really outline dates as I go on to say in other posts after a certain level of 'dating'

[Galaxy]

Dola..

I though women love "suprised" evening outs (men suprise the women)?

[Fonzie]

It is a date. To suggest otherwise is to effectively render your dinner out to being nothing more than a "feeding chore" (much like doing laundry or grocery shopping) that you just happened to do together. "Feed chores" do happen, but I tend to think of them as being hurried, cheap, and involving low-quality food (e.g., stopping at the Burger King drive-thru). Having a sit-down meal at the Outback clearly does not qualify as a "feed chore," and for her to suggest so denegrates the time the two of you spent together. For that she should be ashamed.

[Rizon]

WHY IS THIS NOT A POLL?!

Anyways. Since she's arguing semantics:

Definition
date (MEETING)
[Show phonetics]
noun [C]
a social meeting planned in advance

In any case, we left. As we were driving home, I said "let's stop and get dinner. Where do you want to go?" We debated for a while and eventually decided the Outback Steakhouse.

Sounds like it was "planned in advance" to me! In advanced is relative, and if we're arguing semantics, advanced can really mean a few seconds.

Definition
plan (DECISION) [Show phonetics]
noun [C]
1 a set of decisions about how to do something in the future
Definition
in advance
before a particular time, or before doing a particular thing:

This decision was definately "planned" "in advance", evidenced by "debated awhile"!








But, if you want to get your cock waxed soon, then you gotta swallow your load of pride and say she's right.

[Ryche]

My wife and I both vote not a date. Just fulfilling a need for food and no plan at all.

[Pyser]

i'd say that dinner wasnt a date.

however, the dinner and a show you mentioned i do consider a date.

sorry, EF. lose a little more in the eNFL, and i may side with you more often :)

[Eaglesfan27]

sorry, EF. lose a little more in the eNFL, and i may side with you more often :)
:D

[Loren]

havent read anyone else;s comments but yeah it's soo NOT a date, you both decided to stop there..had you planned this when you were at home or something, THEN it would have been a date...
but is it even dating when you're married...i dunno bout that, cuz ive always said ive never had an actual date due to thinking it's not..

[stevew]

Unless you normally go to outback, i would say that the cost of the meal dictates that it is, in fact, a special occasion, aka a date. If you were merely looking for something to eat, you'd have just stopped at somewhere like subway, but you went to a nicer sit down type of place. Narrowly a date, it hits the foul pole.

[BigJohn&TheLions]

I think dating ends when you move from "dating" to being "in a relationship." Considering that you went and jumped the broom already I believe it is safe to say that even if you got all dressed up, bought her flowers, took her out for a beautiful and romantic evening, and ran into someone who did not know your wife you would introduce her as your "wife," not your "date." Therefore it is not a date.

In addition, if you and Fritz had just left an Eagles loss and he suggested stopping for some trout, would you then be on a date? Again, it is not a date.

[Loren]

OMfukknGod now me and Cringe are arguing :rolleyes: Cringer:you asked if i wanted to go to the movies saturday PLUS no kid, THAT's A DATE...
ME: NO IT WASNT :mad: ...after more DISCUSSION..
Cringe "anyWAYS I agree with the guy that said to just agree she's right and move on, first Christ's sake Eaglesfan's a psychologist or something he SHOULD KNOW THAT"..
ME: I soo win :)

[Icy]

I'm sorry to say i agree with her, it's not a date.

I go out for dinner like twice per week with my wife, the way to know if it's a date or not is this:

DATE: We plan in in advance, like in the morning when we plan a romantic dinner. We go to an expensive site or out of our city where we also know we won't meet friends to disturb our dinner, we dress more serious. We try to do this from time to time, to keep the excitement and love alive.

NO DATE: We decide just when we are going to have dinner that we could go to McDonnalds or to any other cheap fast food site, or to go to the cinema and eat something before or after. I wear my shorts and tshirt, it's just to enjoy eating and to avoid to cook at home. She is also a really social woman and she enjoys eating outside like at the shopping center to meet ppl.

I'm married only since last year so not sure if my opinion counts :)

[yabanci]

sorry, Eaglesfan27, but that wasn't a date.

One of the defining characteristics of a date is that both parties know it's a date, which obviously wasn't the case here.

[SFL Cat]

Sorry friend, I've got to lean toward no date. I know MY wife wouldn't consider it a date....and would we even be having this discussion if you two had decided to grab a bite at McDonalds or Burger King rather than Outback?

[Blackadar]

There aren't ANY dates after you get married. Just evenings out and planned evenings out.

[Butter]

Since you have no kids, it's not a date.

[JeeberD]

i'd say that dinner wasnt a date.

however, the dinner and a show you mentioned i do consider a date.

I have to agree with Pyser here. It sounds like dinner last night really wasn't a "date" since it really wasn't the intent of the evening. Yesterday was grandma time, not couple time, you just happened to luck into dinner alone.

However, I would disagree with her saying that you haven't been on a date since May since you specifically haven't used the word "date." When you've been together with someone that long, you don't ask them out on dates. The fiancee' and I have been together for six years now and I haven't asked her out on a date in a long time...but I do ask her if she wants to go out for dinner or go catch a movie. And the intent of the evening is understood...

I've also forwarded this thread to the little lady, so I'll let you know what she has to say on the subject...

[Buzzbee]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What he said.

[Antmeister]

Are you guys really serious? When you are married, you guys are still calling it a date? That makes no sense to me. I thought dating was part of the courtship process. You know testing things out and getting a feel for each other. I thought this qualifies as going out.

And do either of you guys have kids, because when you get any free time at all, you will appreciate it and not bicker on whether or not it is a date. This should be a non issue if you both enjoyed your time together outside of the house regardless of whether it was planned or not. If dating is somehow supposed to be planned, then you are going to miss out on a lot of spur of the moment activities. Usually those are ones that are remembered in your later years anyways. In my opinion, there is no such thing as a date after you are married.

[Buzzbee]

Dola - The poll that we really need is:

What will EaglesFan27 win if he is right?

There could be a lot of options there.

Personally I think that if EaglesFan27 is right (which I don't think he is) they go on a 'date' to Outback this Friday night.

If Mrs. EaglesFan27 is right, he has to put on a tux and take her to Commander's Palace.

[JonInMiddleGA]

When you are married, you guys are still calling it a date?

Do I? Nope, not really.
Does my wife? You're damned skippy she does.

Now, whether the intended meaning of the word is the same, that's a different subject entirely.

[Antmeister]

Do I? Nope, not really.
Does my wife? You're damned skippy she does.

Now, whether the intended meaning of the word is the same, that's a different subject entirely.

Damn...luckily Dodgerchick doesn't think the same way. We just call it going out and we are freakin happy whenever we can get the time to do that (doesn't happen too often with the kids).

[Eaglesfan27]

Dola - The poll that we really need is:

What will EaglesFan27 win if he is right?

There could be a lot of options there.

Personally I think that if EaglesFan27 is right (which I don't think he is) they go on a 'date' to Outback this Friday night.

If Mrs. EaglesFan27 is right, he has to put on a tux and take her to Commander's Palace.
Oh how I wish t was something that benign, since I appear to be getting my butt kicked by last count. I was very foolish to take this bet.

Antmeister, we weren't really truly bickering. We love to playfully verbally spar. She is generally better with language (and debating skills) than I am and she usually wins these matches :(

Like I said previously, no kids yet. We really do cherish our time together, particularly because we have so little of it since she went back to school. :(

[Buzzbee]

Uh oh. I hope part of this bet wasn't giving up the PS2/XBOX for a week or two. That would be really bad. Or even worse, the computer. EGAD!!!! :eek:

[cuervo72]

There is none. Married people do not go on dates.

This is my take as well. Though it could also be said that you only ever have a chance to get any on dates...

[Barkeep49]

My guess is Eagles wins something video game related. I have no clue what Mrs. Eagles will win when she does win as she deserves to in this particular dispute.

[Eaglesfan27]

As far as calling it a date, yeah we both do (although apparently we aren't in agreement this time or for the past few months.) We do all kinds of things to try to keep the relationship fresh and full of spark.

[Antmeister]

...Antmeister, we weren't really truly bickering. We love to playfully verbally spar. She is generally better with language (and debating skills) than I am and she usually wins these matches...

Ahh....understood. We do that from time to time, but once in a while that playful bickering gets serious when her friends are around for some reason. I should probably start a thread on this one wedge issue, but I have a feeling I would lose badly as well.

[Huckleberry]

No and yes.

No because a date is called that because it requires you to "set a date" for the event. That didn't happen here.

Yes because you went out to eat with your romantic interest. So in that sense it was a date.

My biggest concern is the contention that she "disagreed vehemently" to that statement. Get her off the crazy pills. Unless you don't consider the word vehement to have as strong a connotation as I do.

[JonInMiddleGA]

(doesn't happen too often with the kids).

Which is actually (I think) why my wife at least mentally makes note of it with a specific designation -- a combination of reminder of how rare the opportunity is AND maybe as a reminder that there is still some trace of life outside parenting.

Probably worth noting here too is that she might make an actual spoken referene to the word "date" maybe a half-dozen times a year. But it was very clear to me last night, when I posed this thread's question to her, that she mentally assigns the word more often than I hear it.

[JonInMiddleGA]

... but once in a while that playful bickering gets serious when her friends are around for some reason.

FWIW, you are not alone.

I've reached the conclusion that friends of most s.o.'s very often bring out the worst of the person you're involved with.

[Eaglesfan27]

No and yes.

No because a date is called that because it requires you to "set a date" for the event. That didn't happen here.

Yes because you went out to eat with your romantic interest. So in that sense it was a date.

My biggest concern is the contention that she "disagreed vehemently" to that statement. Get her off the crazy pills. Unless you don't consider the word vehement to have as strong a connotation as I do.
That was a little too strong a choice of words. However, it did start a verbal sparring match that I wasn't expecting at that particular time out of left field. It was a playful mock indignation reaction.

[KWhit]

No date. A "date" suggests something special - not just stopping for a bite to eat. A date could be just going out to dinner, but it is all about the intent of the dinner, and the frame of mind of the people as it's happening.

[Antmeister]

No date. A "date" suggests something special - not just stopping for a bite to eat. A date could be just going out to dinner, but it is all about the intent of the dinner, and the frame of mind of the people as it's happening.

Kwit this madness! :D

Single - Date
Married - Going out
Married w/kids - Getting away

[lurker]

I would say if you guys believe that dates still exist after you're married (or even in a serious relationship) then last night was a date. You had time alone together. I don't see why that should be dependent on how expensive a place is (it sure could be a date at McDonalds) or whether you planned it in advance.

Personally, though, since I don't think that people who are seriously involved date, I would say it was not a date. But maybe I'm a little weird about this -- I thought dating went out in the 70s. I've actually talked to Passacaglia about the concept of dating, and we've agreed that we've never been on dates before -- just hanging out.

[Buzzbee]

I've actually talked to Passacaglia about the concept of dating, and we've agreed that we've never been on dates before -- just hanging out.
I guess that makes Pass your 'hanger outer.'

[lurker]

As opposed to what, datee?

[Mustang]

It wasn't a date if you weren't hoping to sleep with her at the end of the night.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I went out yesterday hoping to sleep with Mrs. EF at the end of the night.

[Eaglesfan27]

I went out yesterday hoping to sleep with Mrs. EF at the end of the night.
:mad: ;)

[Eaglesfan27]

It wasn't a date if you weren't hoping to sleep with her at the end of the night.
We were planning on that, until she had a legitimate headache. Believe me, I know it when she is truly mad at me and withholding (which rarely happens fortunately.)

[Mustang]

We were planning on that

Well.. there you go.. dinner, conversation, potential sex thwarted in the end by the female...

Sounds like a date to me...

[Daimyo]

I've been married four years and never been on a "date" in that time. We eat out all the time... go to shows, see movies, take trips, etc but that stuff isn't dating when you're married.... its normal life.

[Buzzbee]

It's not a set number. The time frame was until noon tomorrow. Any comments after that don't count. Also, there is a weighting of posts, but I'm not supposed to discuss the specifics of that either. Mrs. Eaglesfan is asleep already, so I can't even discuss with her if I should be posting this, but oh well. ;)

To be fair, I'll tell you all of the conditions of the bet and both victory prizes, no matter who wins.
Well?

[Eaglesfan27]

Well?
Well. It not's quite noon yet. Also, I have to recount all of the votes. I hate to do it to you, but I'll have to keep you all in suspense for a bit longer.

I have a meeting with my residents at noon. It feels very odd to actually have residents that I'm responsible for educating. After that meeting, I have two OCS evals scheduled at 1:00 and 2:00. Bleh. If either of them don't show, I'll post during that time.

[st.cronin]

It is definitely, definitely, definitely a date. If I were in your shoes I would be somewhat insulted.

[Buzzbee]

Well. It not's quite noon yet.
Ack! Damn Central time zone.

[digamma]

No date.

Under the wire. Sorry, buddy.

[Anthony]

sorry dude, it's not a date. my wife and i do date-nite, where we'll make plans to go out to eat and go see a movie. the attire isn't relevant, unless we plan to get a drink or something afterwards (which rarely happens cuz she's not much of a drinker).

sometimes when we're travelling home from work and it's a friday and she doesn't feel like cooking we'll decide to go eat out - spur of the moment - and since we're out i'll suggest we go see a movie, and we'll both say "date nite!".

jsut taking someone out to eat isn't a date. the only time it's a date - just food - is if you both get dressed up and go to an expensive restaurant. otherwise McDonald's and Outback don't qualify. that's not a date, that's just being too lazy to cook food. :)

[DanGarion]

As long as you goy laid after dinner it's a date.

[gstelmack]

A little late possibly, but I'm in the "no date" camp. That requires giving my wife at least a chance to decide what to wear, etc. This was just grabbing dinner.

I'm also of the firm belief that you can have a "date" when married, even with kids. Call it "going out" or "getting away" or whatever, but it's still a "date" if you set aside time for the two of you to get out of the house alone.

[dawgfan]

What's interesting is the number of people that are surprised by the concept of a "date" after a couple is married or has been together a long time. Obviously a "date" under those circumstances isn't quite the same thing as a date when you are first starting to go out together, since the relationship has already progressed to the point of long-term commitment.

However, given that long-term and married couples usually settle into a routine and have life change on them from the time when they were first going out, the idea of going out on a "date" is a way of adding some fun and shaking up the routine. Couples have a tendency to take each other for granted, and such "dates" are a way to address that feeling by placing a special focus on the two going out for some quality time away from any other distractions.

[lurker]

For me, I think that people who have been together a while should of course still have nice times together and quality time, but that those times are not called dates. A date just seems like a strange, formal word for it. I'm all for saying, "let's go out somewhere really nice on Saturday" but I just wouldn't call it a date. It's just a semantics thing.

[Daimyo]

I pretty much agree with lurker. My wife and I go out all the time and have a lot of fun, but I would never consider it to be "dating" because we're not dating anymore. Now we're a married couple that enjoys each other's company and likes doing fun stuff together. Its not worse than dating.... its better.

[dawgfan]

It's just a semantics thing.

That's basically what this whole thread boils down to. Well, that and figuring out if you're on the same page as your significant other...

[Eaglesfan27]

What's interesting is the number of people that are surprised by the concept of a "date" after a couple is married or has been together a long time. Obviously a "date" under those circumstances isn't quite the same thing as a date when you are first starting to go out together, since the relationship has already progressed to the point of long-term commitment.

However, given that long-term and married couples usually settle into a routine and have life change on them from the time when they were first going out, the idea of going out on a "date" is a way of adding some fun and shaking up the routine. Couples have a tendency to take each other for granted, and such "dates" are a way to address that feeling by placing a special focus on the two going out for some quality time away from any other distractions.
I completely agree with this. I'm surprised by the number of people who insist there is no dating in marriage.

Anyway, I'm done seeing my patients. Adding up the tally (which doesn't look good for me.)

I'll post the weighting of votes and details in a few.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I'm surprised by the number of people who insist there is no dating in marriage.

Same reaction I had.

Meanwhile, I think you may have inadvertantly caused me some trouble down the road with this whole discussion. I made the mistake of mentioning some of the general answers to my wife this morning. After hearing about the date/no date philosophy your wife applied, including the part about "She threw out ideas such as dressing up.", mine is wondering if she's been letting me off the hook too easily.

I shall not be pleased with you EF, if this ends up complicating my life in some way.

[Eaglesfan27]

Same reaction I had.

Meanwhile, I think you may have inadvertantly caused me some trouble down the road with this whole discussion. I made the mistake of mentioning some of the general answers to my wife this morning. After hearing about the date/no date philosophy your wife applied, including the part about "She threw out ideas such as dressing up.", mine is wondering if she's been letting me off the hook too easily.

I shall not be pleased with you EF, if this ends up complicating my life in some way.I'm sincerely sorry if I end up causing you more complications. Your answer early actually helped me.

You see, my wife was convinced that you would all have my back. She said, "All of your guy friends" on FOFC (she called it that board you visit) are going to just vote for you. Therefore, she demanded weighting of the female vote. We eventually settled on 3-1 weighting of female to male votes.

However, despite that weighting I don't think the female vote cost me this at all. Unfortunately, by my final count, she had 42 weighted votes and I only had 19 votes. Not that close :(

As far as the prize: We are having about 12-20 friends over for the upcoming holiday weekend for a barbeque. Neither of us wants to clean up our place (particularly the bathrooms which we both hate doing.) Well, I foolishly bet that whoever lost has to clean up the entire house before the barbeque(including those darn bathrooms.) I probably have about 8 hours of work ahead of me (and that is if I skimp on the dusting which I probably won't.) Sometimes, I really hate having a big apartment.

So, I didn't directly bet PS2, Xbox, or Computer time, but I certainly will cut into those things some over the next 10 days or so that I have to do this.

[Antmeister]

I completely agree with this. I'm surprised by the number of people who insist there is no dating in marriage.

Anyway, I'm done seeing my patients. Adding up the tally (which doesn't look good for me.)

I'll post the weighting of votes and details in a few.


I guess it is just a matter of people using different terminology. We are basically talking about the same thing, but we call it different things once marriage enters the picture. I had always placed "dating" as a term for single people because that is what you do when you are testing out the waters to potentially find a mate or just sowing your oats.

Let's put it this way. If I were to go to a nice dinner with a good friend, who happens to be female, would that be considered a date? If I were single, most people would say yes, Now that I am married, that is a no since I am no longer available since I had my bachelor ID stripped away from me.

I guess it is just a different way on looking at the same situation.

[gstelmack]

Neither of us wants to clean up our place (particularly the bathrooms which we both hate doing.) Well, I foolishly bet that whoever lost has to clean up the entire house before the barbeque(including those darn bathrooms.)
My wife won't let me NEAR our bathrooms to clean them. She knows that she'll just have to clean them again afterward, because I suck at that. On the flip side, I get to take out the garbage and mow the lawn.

[Eaglesfan27]

My wife won't let me NEAR our bathrooms to clean them. She knows that she'll just have to clean them again afterward, because I suck at that. On the flip side, I get to take out the garbage and mow the lawn.
You've got game.

I tried that when we first got married. She just made me go back and do them again, until they met her specifications.

[Eaglesfan27]

Dola -

We normally take turns doing them now (along with just about every other household chore.) The exception is paying the bills. She isn't good with numbers, and I just take care of that because it is too much trouble otherwise.

[Mustang]

My wife won't let me NEAR our bathrooms to clean them. She knows that she'll just have to clean them again afterward, because I suck at that. On the flip side, I get to take out the garbage and mow the lawn.

My wife won't let me near the laundry or dishes.

Note: That was a statement. Not a complaint.

[jbmagic]

Eaglefan27

at least you don't have to sleep on the sofa tonight :)

[Galaxy]

Dola -

We normally take turns doing them now (along with just about every other household chore.) The exception is paying the bills. She isn't good with numbers, and I just take care of that because it is too much trouble otherwise.

I bet your wife does all the cooking, and is a hell of good one?

Just curious, what is the Commonder's Place?

[Craptacular]

Without reading all of the responses, I'll just say that "dates" between my wife and I stopped the day we started looking at engagements rings. From then on, we've just gone out to dinner or wherever, but I haven't considered them dates.

[Eaglesfan27]

I bet your wife does all the cooking, and is a hell of good one?

Just curious, what is the Commonder's Place?
Actually with her cooking at work 5-6 nights/week, I do most of the cooking for 1 :(

However, when she was on vacation a few weeks ago, she cooked up some great meals for me :)

Commander's Palace is a very good to excellent restaurant that is rather pricey, but has great atmosphere (although it can be intimidating your first time, or at least I thought so.) They have a special dining room overlooking this beautiful garden, and I always manage to get that for every 2nd or 3rd anniversary and occasionally other times as well. I would get it every year, but we like to mix it up.

[Galaxy]

Actually with her cooking at work 5-6 nights/week, I do most of the cooking for 1 :(

However, when she was on vacation a few weeks ago, she cooked up some great meals for me :)

Commander's Palace is a very good to excellent restaurant that is rather pricey, but has great atmosphere (although it can be intimidating your first time, or at least I thought so.) They have a special dining room overlooking this beautiful garden, and I always manage to get that for every 2nd or 3rd anniversary and occasionally other times as well. I would get it every year, but we like to mix it up.

Does your wife work at the gourmet restaurants?

Being in New Orleans, have many choices of great restaurants. Is the only time you go all out is when you have your anniversary?

[Eaglesfan27]

Does your wife work at the gourmet restaurants?

Being in New Orleans, have many choices of great restaurants. Is the only time you go all out is when you have your anniversary?No, she is one of the main cooks for her shift at a local hotel (a big one.) She earned three promotions into this position despite the fact that she is still technically a culinary arts student for one more semester.

There are many very good restaurants in the city, and a few great ones. Before our schedules conflicted so badly, we usually went out to dinner somewhere at least semi-nice one to two times per week. Now, we are lucky if we get to go out once every other month.

As an aside, the Saints stay at her hotel every home game and training camp. So she gets to cook for the entire team basically throughout the football season. About two weeks ago, Joe Horn complained to her personally because his burger wasn't a "patty melt" like he wanted. Apparently, the room service person forgot to specify that he wanted that instead of a cheeseburger.

[Buzzbee]

Here is the website. Checking out the awards page might give you an idea.


http://www.commanderspalace.com/new_orleans/index.php

[Buzzbee]

Oh, and there's this...

Chef Emeril Lagasse received his first culinary experience from his mother, Hilda, when he was a boy growing up in the small town of Fall River, Massachusetts. As a teenager, he worked at a Portuguese bakery where he mastered the art of bread and pastry baking. Upon high school graduation, Lagasse was offered a full scholarship to the New England Conservatory of Music, but decided to pursue a career as a professional chef. He earned a degree from the respected culinary fortress, Johnson and Wales University, and later received an honorary Doctorate degree from the university. Lagasse then traveled to Paris and Lyon where he polished his skills and learned the art of classic French cuisine. Returning to the United States, Lagasse practiced his art in fine restaurants in New York, Boston and Philadelphia before heading south to the Big Easy. Lured to New Orleans by Dick and Ella Brennan, Lagasse established his star at their legendary restaurant, Commander's Palace, where he was executive chef for seven and a half years.

[Galaxy]

Cool.

[lurker]

Eaglesfan, I'm just curious. When you counted the votes, did you count the people who said that there are no dates after marriage as votes for your wife's side? Because it seems like those votes should be excluded, since there was no situation that would allow for you and your wife to have a date.

I'm thinking about this way too much.

[Eaglesfan27]

Eaglesfan, I'm just curious. When you counted the votes, did you count the people who said that there are no dates after marriage as votes for your wife's side? Because it seems like those votes should be excluded, since there was no situation that would allow for you and your wife to have a date.

I'm thinking about this way too much.
I counted it three different ways. Every way made me lose. In that final tally, which I told her, I did include those people who said there is no dating after marriage just because it made her happy to beat me badly on this issue ;)

[LoneStarGirl]

Eaglesfan, you're a good man.

[Elvis]

Let the wookie win.

[DanGarion]

My wife won't let me NEAR our bathrooms to clean them. She knows that she'll just have to clean them again afterward, because I suck at that. On the flip side, I get to take out the garbage and mow the lawn.
This reminds me of the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where he does something wrong when he does some cleaning so that she doesn't ask him to clean again. :)

[Galaxy]

Oh, and there's this...

Chef Emeril Lagasse received his first culinary experience from his mother, Hilda, when he was a boy growing up in the small town of Fall River, Massachusetts. As a teenager, he worked at a Portuguese bakery where he mastered the art of bread and pastry baking. Upon high school graduation, Lagasse was offered a full scholarship to the New England Conservatory of Music, but decided to pursue a career as a professional chef. He earned a degree from the respected culinary fortress, Johnson and Wales University, and later received an honorary Doctorate degree from the university. Lagasse then traveled to Paris and Lyon where he polished his skills and learned the art of classic French cuisine. Returning to the United States, Lagasse practiced his art in fine restaurants in New York, Boston and Philadelphia before heading south to the Big Easy. Lured to New Orleans by Dick and Ella Brennan, Lagasse established his star at their legendary restaurant, Commander's Palace, where he was executive chef for seven and a half years.

BAM!

[Eaglesfan27]

I just came upstairs to play some Dungeon Siege 2, and I went into our upstairs master bathroom. Mrs. Eaglesfan already cleaned it today!! There was a note on the mirror that simply said, "Love you." :)

I'm sure I'll get stuck doing the downstairs bathroom (which is the one that the guests primarily will be using) but this was a wonderful surprise :)

[Galaxy]

I just came upstairs to play some Dungeon Siege 2, and I went into our upstairs master bathroom. Mrs. Eaglesfan already cleaned it today!! There was a note on the mirror that simply said, "Love you." :)

I'm sure I'll get stuck doing the downstairs bathroom (which is the one that the guests primarily will be using) but this was a wonderful surprise :)


Your on a roll today, besides losing the bet.

[SackAttack]

I just came upstairs to play some Dungeon Siege 2, and I went into our upstairs master bathroom. Mrs. Eaglesfan already cleaned it today!! There was a note on the mirror that simply said, "Love you." :)

I'm sure I'll get stuck doing the downstairs bathroom (which is the one that the guests primarily will be using) but this was a wonderful surprise :)

It's a test! The toilet is probably clogged with the lid down, and she's checking to make sure you're actually going to follow through on the bet by seeing if you bother to try and clean any of the upstairs bathroom even though it already appears finished. :D

[Eaglesfan27]

Your on a roll today, besides losing the bet.
Technically, I lost the best yesterday. Today has been just one long great day :)

[sterlingice]

I just came upstairs to play some Dungeon Siege 2, and I went into our upstairs master bathroom. Mrs. Eaglesfan already cleaned it today!! There was a note on the mirror that simply said, "Love you." :)

I'm sure I'll get stuck doing the downstairs bathroom (which is the one that the guests primarily will be using) but this was a wonderful surprise :)
Sweet!

SI

[finketr]

ahh. a walk down memory lane.

[Young Drachma]

hahaha... Awesome.

[gstelmack]

You've got game.

I tried that when we first got married. She just made me go back and do them again, until they met her specifications.

I never responded back to this.

The key to this all "working" (and note that I'm not playing a game with her here, I really do suck at cleaning bathrooms) is that I do things she doesn't want to do. As long as I'm taking out the trash and squishing bugs (and flattening all the bottles she throws whole into the recycling bin), she's more than happy to clean the bathrooms.

[flere-imsaho]

RE: Cleaning

Our solution was to hire a housecleaner. Best. Decision. Ever.

Other than that, our division of labor seems pretty even. I do the stuff that involves interaction with objects that are smelly, slimy, aggressive, quite possibly toxic or liable to cause discomfort and/or injury in other ways and she does the stuff that I find boring, annoying or tedious.

So, while I'm more likely to be the one facing off with a possibly-rabid weasel in the backyard, cleaning cat crap from the dog's head (idiot) or crawling through the rafters to figure out how to remove a wasps' nest (hint: don't do this), at least I don't have to do things like set the bed, hang up laundry to dry or reconcile our checking account.

[lordscarlet]

RE: Cleaning

Our solution was to hire a housecleaner. Best. Decision. Ever.


I have a friend who has been married five years that did the same and says the same.

[flere-imsaho]

I have a friend who has been married five years that did the same and says the same.

Er, I've been married 5 years. Do I know you? :)

[lordscarlet]

Er, I've been married 5 years. Do I know you? :)

Hah. Unless you're in Napa Valley celebrating your fifth anniversary and you went to my Wedding three weeks ago, then, no. :)

[Poli]

I've got to get my wife onboard with aa housecleaner.

[Eaglesfan27]

RE: Cleaning

Our solution was to hire a housecleaner. Best. Decision. Ever.

Other than that, our division of labor seems pretty even. I do the stuff that involves interaction with objects that are smelly, slimy, aggressive, quite possibly toxic or liable to cause discomfort and/or injury in other ways and she does the stuff that I find boring, annoying or tedious.

So, while I'm more likely to be the one facing off with a possibly-rabid weasel in the backyard, cleaning cat crap from the dog's head (idiot) or crawling through the rafters to figure out how to remove a wasps' nest (hint: don't do this), at least I don't have to do things like set the bed, hang up laundry to dry or reconcile our checking account.

First of all it is wierd to see this thread bumped. Katrina hit a few days after this thread was started and disrupted our plans.

Anyway, I've often thought of hiring a housecleaner, but I'm afraid stuff would get stolen even if we hire via a reputable company. Shrug. Also, since my wife hasn't worked since we bought the new house, I see no need for one with her having plenty of time to clean. However, if she ever goes back to work, I'd still be afraid to hire a housecleaner unless I can find a long time one that a close friend recommends.

[lordscarlet]

Also, every one I have ever known that has a house cleaner does a "pre-clean" which is just silly.

[MikeVic]

Also, every one I have ever known that has a house cleaner does a "pre-clean" which is just silly.

It's like a stupid dishwasher. You gotta scrubs the hard stuff and pre-clean. Just finish washing it with your hands!

[CamEdwards]

Also, every one I have ever known that has a house cleaner does a "pre-clean" which is just silly.

That's what's stopped us from getting a house cleaner. I think I'm actually going to surprise my wife with one for her birthday in a few weeks, however.

[Young Drachma]

It's like a stupid dishwasher. You gotta scrubs the hard stuff and pre-clean. Just finish washing it with your hands!

I had a debate with people at work about this. We didn't have a dishwasher growing up. My grandmother did, but never used it unless it was a holiday or something.

And I have one now and have never used it and one of coworkers was amazed. "But it gives me more counter space," she said.

It's just silliness.

[lordscarlet]

I had a debate with people at work about this. We didn't have a dishwasher growing up. My grandmother did, but never used it unless it was a holiday or something.

And I have one now and have never used it and one of coworkers was amazed. "But it gives me more counter space," she said.

It's just silliness.

If counter space is the issue she could use the dishwasher solely as a drying rack..

[gstelmack]

RE: Cleaning

Our solution was to hire a housecleaner. Best. Decision. Ever.

We actually had one for a while until she decided to drop off the face of the earth (just stopped coming, although I did hear from her like a year and a half later when she had some questions about how her son could break into game development). If we could find one that we trusted again, we'd be all over it in a heartbeat. The fact is that with 2 kids, cleaning the house rarely makes it up high enough on the priority list for that tiny amount of time we've got. Can't wait until they get old enough to pitch in more (the 4 year old already helps put silverware away).

But I'm nervous about who I let have the run of the house while I'm away, so trust is a pretty big factor here.

[dime]

I made a comment to the effect of isn't it nice that we don't have to go through that awkward phase anymore. We are having a nice date with good conversation.

She objected vehemently at that point

I stopped reading about here because I realized she was crazy/angry/looking for a fight. Sometimes girls do that when they really need to get laid? Otherwise, just genuinely crazy.

I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin.

[Raiders Army]

If you have a wife, then you have a dishwasher. No electricity needed. The washer only needs to be taken out on a date once in a while to work.

....and that brings the thread full circle.

[Galaxy]

I stopped reading about here because I realized she was crazy/angry/looking for a fight. Sometimes girls do that when they really need to get laid? Otherwise, just genuinely crazy.

I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin.

Even our doctor can't figure out women. :)

[SFL Cat]

What if you go out to dinner with your mistress and your wife?

I think that means you have a death wish.

I would say, "no date." A date involves some pre-planning and isn't a spur of the moment incident - "hey let's grab a bite to eat."

[flere-imsaho]

However, if she ever goes back to work, I'd still be afraid to hire a housecleaner unless I can find a long time one that a close friend recommends.

Well, there's always Angie's List (basically a big db of reviews) if it's available in your area. We found ours through a friend. Never, ever have had a problem with things going missing. I honestly think independent cleaners are better for this than companies, because their reputation is even more important to them.

Also, every one I have ever known that has a house cleaner does a "pre-clean" which is just silly.

+1

[Pumpy Tudors]

I've got to get my wife onboard with aa housecleaner.
We've got to get your wife onboard as my housecleaner.

[korme]

Two years later, I definitely disagree with my posting that married people don't go on dates. I'd constitute a date, as said previously by many, as a planned outing.

[Warhammer]

A date for us is any night we have without the kids.