More Onion Hilarity, this time on T.O.

[gstelmack]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40738

And I did a search, so if someone posted this already then the repost is your own fault for not using easily searchable keywords (or the forum's fault for a lousy search feature)/

[Ksyrup]

My favorite part:

"...said Owens, who seemed visibly hurt at the thought of what was to come."

[WSUCougar]

The sad part is, I can hear him saying most of that in reality.

[sterlingice]

Genius:

Owens later amended his complaints about any possible future quarterbacks with whom he might play, saying he "did not mean to disrespect McNabb, Vick, McNair, Peyton Manning, Favre, Eli Manning, Pennington, or anyone else who might be throwing to T.O." in the upcoming season or seasons. He also took back "anything [he] might have eventually said" about McNabb's toughness, Vick's accuracy, McNair's age, Peyton Manning's inability to win the big game, Favre's attempts to force bad passes, Eli Manning's inexperience, and Pennington's overratedness, though Owens refused to revisit his future comments on the sexual orientation of Detroit Lions backup Jeff Garcia.
SI