Scooter comebacks

[Fidatelo]

I need some help from all the witty comedians on this board.

A few weeks ago I bought a motor scooter for my fiance. She loves it and gets a great kick out of it, and despite my early reservations I'm actually enjoying riding it as well. Ya, it's dorky, but it's almost free to operate and actually is kind of fun to zip around on.

Anywho, the one downside is that when I'm on it, I'm a magnet for sarcastic comments. I get "Nice bike!" or some derivitive at least once per use, and in the morning I pass by a school ground where I am peppered with comments from 14 year olds.

I've also had some better one liners thrown at me as well, like the teen on halloween that was with his friends, about to cross the road, then sees me coming on the scooter and "stops short" yelling "Watch out everyone!!!" like a semi was barreling at them. :)

Unfortunately I am terrible at snappy comebacks. In fact, I'm terrible at comebacks even after having hours to think of them. So I was hoping some of you guys could give me some lines to use in return once in awhile. Anyone got anything?

[Rizon]

When I was a kid scooters didn't even have wheels. We had to slide them right across the ground.

[cthomer5000]

nice bike.

[Rizon]

PS: Snappy comeback: pester the kids about pimples, or how their parent's don't love them.

[kcchief19]

Oh yeah, well the jerk store called, they're running out of you.

I'm not sure there is a snappy comeback for someone making fun of you for riding a tiny scooter. It kind of goes along with the purchase price. If you enjoy, who cares?

[Fidatelo]

I'm not sure there is a snappy comeback for someone making fun of you for riding a tiny scooter. It kind of goes along with the purchase price. If you enjoy, who cares?
True enough, and I'm certainly not looking for some scathing retort or anything. I'm just looking for a light, funny reply that can show that I understand it's dorky and that I don't take it too seriously.

[Easy Mac]

I guess if it's a bunch of bow-tie wearing Tucker Carlsonites, you could always say "at least my scooter isn't being indicted."

[Fidatelo]

After some more thought I'm thinking maybe this might work:

"What's that? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the roar of the engine!" :)

[CamEdwards]

I'd say something like "I like riding this as much as I like riding your mother/girlfriend/sister/daughter/wife".

Of course, they could probably outrun you even if you're on the scooter.

[timmynausea]

I get 75 miles to the gallon on this hog.

[panerd]

How about "How about I ride this scooter right up your ass?" or if all else fails you can say "Oh yeah, well I slept with your wife."

[sovereignstar]

attach thumb to your nose and wiggle your fingers. go nananana boo boo for extra results.

[Fidatelo]

I get 75 miles to the gallon on this hog.
This reminded me that my parents have taken to referring to it as my 'piglet' :)

[daedalus]

Out of curiosity, what type of scooter did you get and how much (if you don't mind me asking) was it?

I'm considering snagging a scooter for myself soon since I don't like driving cars (just don't feel comfortable with it) and I don't know if I can afford a motorcycle yet.

[sovereignstar]

I'm considering snagging a scooter for myself soon since I don't like driving cars (just don't feel comfortable with it) and I don't know if I can afford a motorcycle yet.

You don't feel comfortable driving a car, but you'd feel comfortable on a motorcycle?

[Arctus]

Oh yeah, well the jerk store called, they're running out of you.

I'm not sure there is a snappy comeback for someone making fun of you for riding a tiny scooter. It kind of goes along with the purchase price. If you enjoy, who cares?

What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller.

love that episode :)

[waitforit]

A kid who lives in my apartmentm, his banging slore (dont ban me, its true), calls him scooter. We make fun of him a lot. He has come to accept it, maybe you should to, or maybe I'm drunk. IDK

[tucker342]

Ya, I think ur just drunk man.... but so am I so I can't say shit....:D

I tried to think of a snappy response but really I'm not good at that shit, so what u should do is make fun of them for making fun of someone that rides a scooter....




word

[PilotMan]

You need to get an airhorn for it.

Tell them it has never lost a drag....against a bicycle.

Chicks dig a scooter man.

[Riggins44]

There's this sassy dresser at work that drives a scooter. He likes men.

I think the only way you can stop this stuff from happening is to jump off that thing and kick some 14 year old's ass.

[Bee]

You're on a freaking scooter...you're not allowed to have a snappy comeback.

[daedalus]

You don't feel comfortable driving a car, but you'd feel comfortable on a motorcycle?Yeah, it sounds weird as all Hell I know. Basically, the part I'm not comfortable with when driving a car is attempting to judge the distance on the passenger side. I've always had problem with judging distance (like, trying to catch a flyball for example) and never got comfortable with driving.

[cartman]

How about this one:

"Well, Clinton got a blowjob!!!!"

Oops, wrong Scooter... :D

[Celeval]

Stick a baseball card in the spokes.

[Fidatelo]

Out of curiosity, what type of scooter did you get and how much (if you don't mind me asking) was it?

I'm considering snagging a scooter for myself soon since I don't like driving cars (just don't feel comfortable with it) and I don't know if I can afford a motorcycle yet.
It's a Yamaha BW50, kind of looks like a miniature motorcycle more than it does a true scooter. It was $2500, but that is in Canadian money so you're looking at about $700 or so :P

(Just kidding, the conversion really isn't that bad anymore, it would probably be $2000+).

[Fidatelo]

Yeah, it sounds weird as all Hell I know. Basically, the part I'm not comfortable with when driving a car is attempting to judge the distance on the passenger side. I've always had problem with judging distance (like, trying to catch a flyball for example) and never got comfortable with driving.
If I were you I would find a way to try one before you buy it. I know you can rent them for a day around here. They drive much differently than a car (which is to be expected), and it definately takes some time to get used to the feel. The first time I turned out onto a street, I misunderstood how to properly make the turn and ended up going really wide, right into what would have been oncoming traffic had it been a busy street.

The other thing I've found is that the mirrors are not nearly as useful as the ones on a car. It is somewhat less important because you can always just shoulder check without worry of a blindspot, but I do find it hard to get an appreciation for how fast cars to my sides are approaching. I'm still just learning though, so it's getting better every ride.

The other big thing to keep in mind is that you will get cut-off and passed a lot. People just assume that you won't be able to keep up with the speed they want to go and will pass you, even if you're going as fast as they are. I can get to about 60-63kms/hour on my scooter, which keeps me going with the flow of traffic on the majority of roads here, but many scooters are slower, maxing out around 50kms/hour. Make sure to do your research and, if you can, try before you buy.

[Karlifornia]

"I can always get off my scooter and back into my car...but no matter what you will always be an abortion with a surprise ending"

[daedalus]

Cool info. Thanks, Fidatelo. :)

I'm definitely taking the motorcycle safety course (http://www.ca-msp.org/) before I buy and go on the road with bikes, whether I end up going with a motorcycle or a scooter. I have a huge aversion to pain.