Balldog
12-05-2005, 07:08 PM
I must admit I’ve been lurking as of late, mostly due to my login problems. I guess I am coming back with a pretty serious topic and hoping for serious answers, but I know I’ll get the usual smartass ones.
Its now been almost five months since moving to my new apartment, just down the hall was a place with 2 couples and a friend. We had a party about a month after moving in and got to meet the people that lived there and a few of their friends. One of them an 18-year old girl, my new roommate and I have gotten to know her very well as a friend. Nothing sexual you smartasses, we both have girlfriends.
Come to find out her and her boyfriend of 3 ½ years just broken up the night before we met her. The guy is a complete wack job in our opinion. They had been off and on for the last 6 months of their relationship before she ended it again. During that last 6 months he threatened to kill himself, she told me he has scars that indicate that he did try to at one point. A few weeks after we met her she had called and wanted to come talk to us, but she never showed up. Ends up her and her ex were at the same party, where he again threatened to kill himself. She panicked and stayed because she couldn’t deal with someone killing themselves over her. I told her that most people that say that are just looking for attention, and it worked because she stayed. She agreed.
About 3 months ago, they went to a formal dance together because she didn’t have a date and they had already agreed to go with a group of couples. She told him in advance that she promised a few of her guy friends that she would dance with them. She did, he freaked out and threw her keys at her and left. She called me all upset about it, I told her to just avoid him the rest of the night and stay with her friends. He called her up later apologizing and asking if they could talk. Like a dumbass she said met up with him, at that time she told him that they can’t talk anymore. He cried, she cried, they didn’t talk for a few weeks. She told me there was no way she would ever go back with him.
After a few weeks he was still calling her all the time, she finally answered and he asked her to come visit him at school that night. He said not to get back together but to make things right, because he didn’t want to end the way they did. She didn’t tell us this because she knew we would be pissed at her, but she went.
They got in a fight of course, and she stormed out of his dorm running down the stairs. He chased after her, once she got to the bottom of the stairs she heard him fall. She stopped and called his name, he didn’t answer so she went back up the stairs to make sure he was okay. There he laid breathing heavily, and he grabbed her hand and wouldn’t let go. She called his roommate and they helped him up to his room, she wanted to leave but he wouldn’t let go of her. Note: his roommate and her couldn’t find anything wrong physically with him. After about an hour he quit breathing heavily and she tried to leave, he grabbed her again and wouldn’t let her leave.
I think this scared the shit out of her because ever since then she has been thinking about getting back with him.
A few more random notes:
·A number of times he has deleted all the guy's numbers from her phone book.
·He has deleted text messages from me and other friends and not told her.
·He has tried to access her voice mail to see who is calling her.
·Her parents think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread, not knowing about any of these events.
·Her parents want her to get back with him.
·They have been trying to make it work for the last month and all they have done is fight.
Now that she is trying to work things out he says he can’t get over the fact that she dated other guys while they were split up because in his mind they were still together.
I’ve tried to get it through her head that what he is doing is controlling her, manipulating her and borderline mentally abusive. She can’t seem to see it though.
I guess I am asking for suggestions, I’ve thought about collecting news articles from girl’s getting injured by such guy’s and giving them to her but I don’t know if she will take them for what it is worth or not.
I fear her safety with this guy!
I figure someone here has to have some experience with this kind of thing.
Its now been almost five months since moving to my new apartment, just down the hall was a place with 2 couples and a friend. We had a party about a month after moving in and got to meet the people that lived there and a few of their friends. One of them an 18-year old girl, my new roommate and I have gotten to know her very well as a friend. Nothing sexual you smartasses, we both have girlfriends.
Come to find out her and her boyfriend of 3 ½ years just broken up the night before we met her. The guy is a complete wack job in our opinion. They had been off and on for the last 6 months of their relationship before she ended it again. During that last 6 months he threatened to kill himself, she told me he has scars that indicate that he did try to at one point. A few weeks after we met her she had called and wanted to come talk to us, but she never showed up. Ends up her and her ex were at the same party, where he again threatened to kill himself. She panicked and stayed because she couldn’t deal with someone killing themselves over her. I told her that most people that say that are just looking for attention, and it worked because she stayed. She agreed.
About 3 months ago, they went to a formal dance together because she didn’t have a date and they had already agreed to go with a group of couples. She told him in advance that she promised a few of her guy friends that she would dance with them. She did, he freaked out and threw her keys at her and left. She called me all upset about it, I told her to just avoid him the rest of the night and stay with her friends. He called her up later apologizing and asking if they could talk. Like a dumbass she said met up with him, at that time she told him that they can’t talk anymore. He cried, she cried, they didn’t talk for a few weeks. She told me there was no way she would ever go back with him.
After a few weeks he was still calling her all the time, she finally answered and he asked her to come visit him at school that night. He said not to get back together but to make things right, because he didn’t want to end the way they did. She didn’t tell us this because she knew we would be pissed at her, but she went.
They got in a fight of course, and she stormed out of his dorm running down the stairs. He chased after her, once she got to the bottom of the stairs she heard him fall. She stopped and called his name, he didn’t answer so she went back up the stairs to make sure he was okay. There he laid breathing heavily, and he grabbed her hand and wouldn’t let go. She called his roommate and they helped him up to his room, she wanted to leave but he wouldn’t let go of her. Note: his roommate and her couldn’t find anything wrong physically with him. After about an hour he quit breathing heavily and she tried to leave, he grabbed her again and wouldn’t let her leave.
I think this scared the shit out of her because ever since then she has been thinking about getting back with him.
A few more random notes:
·A number of times he has deleted all the guy's numbers from her phone book.
·He has deleted text messages from me and other friends and not told her.
·He has tried to access her voice mail to see who is calling her.
·Her parents think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread, not knowing about any of these events.
·Her parents want her to get back with him.
·They have been trying to make it work for the last month and all they have done is fight.
Now that she is trying to work things out he says he can’t get over the fact that she dated other guys while they were split up because in his mind they were still together.
I’ve tried to get it through her head that what he is doing is controlling her, manipulating her and borderline mentally abusive. She can’t seem to see it though.
I guess I am asking for suggestions, I’ve thought about collecting news articles from girl’s getting injured by such guy’s and giving them to her but I don’t know if she will take them for what it is worth or not.
I fear her safety with this guy!
I figure someone here has to have some experience with this kind of thing.