Found out a child rapist lives up the street

[Anon Guy]

A good friend of my confided in me last week that she was raped by a neighbor at age 15 three years ago. The guy is your average middle class friendly white guy, 46 years old (43 at the time). My friend was the babysitter for his daughter for quite some time before it happened.

I tried desperately to get my friend to come forward, even at this point, but she won't. She has not told anyone about this before whether it be mom, dad, sister, or anonymous counselor. She has been burying this for a long time, blaming herself, not trusting anyone, etc, etc, and I want her to get help or come forward as much for her sake as for that of other potential victims in the neighborhood. There are other young children in the neighborhood and he still has a daughter that is about that age (although she no longer lives with him).

In any event, the details she shared and emotions I could hear have been tearing my up for the past week. I'm not quite sure what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

[albionmoonlight]

Very sad to hear. The fact that she talked to you indicates that she may be ready to talk. I would consider trying to put her in touch with a couneslor or a rape crisis center. I know that we all want to get the rapist off the streets, but I think that one first needs to think about healing the victim.

Just my 2c.

[Ben E Lou]

Very sad to hear. The fact that she talked to you indicates that she may be ready to talk. I would consider trying to put her in touch with a couneslor or a rape crisis center. I know that we all want to get the rapist off the streets, but I think that one first needs to think about healing the victim.

Just my 2c.Your two cents are very wise. This could be a real conundrum. It is likely that she won't have real healing from this until she's able to talk about it and experience people knowing about it and still accepting her. Of course, until she gains the confidence to share it with more people (beginning with a counselor), that isn't likely to happen. :(

[Ben E Lou]

Anon Guy:

I'd also be a little concerned about your knowledge of this event, should he do this again. I know that things work differently for an individual than for a required-reporting agency, so I don't know exactly what your responsibilities might be.

[Eaglesfan27]

Very sad to hear. The fact that she talked to you indicates that she may be ready to talk. I would consider trying to put her in touch with a couneslor or a rape crisis center. I know that we all want to get the rapist off the streets, but I think that one first needs to think about healing the victim.

Just my 2c.
I agree with Skydog that this is very wise advice. If she seems ready, I'd strongly recommend helping her get in contact with a counselor who specializes in helping rape victims (that can be done via a rape crisis center of via other outlets.)