The Bill Gates Challenge, Part VII - The Return! (Special Edition)

[Kodos]

With a high-pitched whirring noise, a single white sheet of paper churns out of Kodos' fax machine. Wearing a look of mild annoyance on his face, Kodos wheels his chair back and grabs the page without ever taking his eye off of the report that he had been reading. A few moments later, he shifts his gaze to the newly-arrived missive. In large bold type, he reads two words:

"I'M BACK."

A look of disgust on his face, Kodos crumples the page vigorously and tosses it into his recycle bin. "I wish Bill would just learn to use the damn phone like the rest of us to let people know when he's back from lunch," Kodos mutters to himself, then turns back to the player scouting reports from Kyle Diaz...

=============================================


Thus begins Part VII of The Bill Gates Challenge!



Originally posted by Craptacular:


I think Kodos is trying to drum up some late support for the Golden Scribes. ;)


Originally posted by SplitPersonality1:


You're right Crappy.

I believe the real reason he created the Golden Scribes contest was that he figured the Bill Gate Challenge was a lock for at least one prize.

We are on to you Kodos ;).


Originally posted by Kodos:

I'll let you know that in some categories, certain entries seem to have a lock, but the FOF dynasty category is not one of 'em. :)

To be honest, I think the Golden Scribes thing just helped put me in the mood to start this up again. I've been procrastinating on it for months. If this helps push me along, well, that's not such a bad thing... ;)


Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:


Yes!

The legend returns!

Drive those Cowboys into the sea!


Originally posted by cthomer5000:

What's this? I'm awake?

Wiping crust from his eyes, CThomer rises and steps out of his hyperbaric chamber. He looks to the display panel and checks the status screen.

4 Months and 17 days...quite a nap! Well, I guess the fact that I'm awake means one thing...

CThomer then raises a finger to the touch-panel and presses 'System Announcements'. The screen displays a message recently pulled from a message board somewhere upon the vast electronic ocean known as the the 'world wide web.' As his eyes scan the screen a smile begins to cross his face...

"So it's true! The Bill Gates challenge has returned! Finally a reason to once again join the waking, living world!"


Welcome back!


Originally posted by Qwikshot:


HUZZAH!!

[Kodos]

For those of you unfamiliar with the Bill Gates Challenge, check out the links below to previous chapters, located on the now-inactive FOF Central Pub archive:

Part I: In The Beginning... (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7941)

Part II: Don't Mess With Texas! (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=8069)

Part III: A New Hope (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=8145)

Part IV: The Lords Of The Rings? (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=8698)

Part V: Big Trouble In Little Texas... (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=10481)

Part VI: Flirting With Destiny (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=10537)

Enjoy! ;)


Originally posted by Chuck U Farley:


Unfamiliar? Is that even possible?

I'm so excited. Welcome back.


Originally posted by revrew:

A crimson telephone buried deep beneath the ground in a secret compound in what-was-Waco rings. After the predetermined seventeenth ring, a cold, clammy hand reaches out in the darkness and answers..."

"Farley Fan Base."
"Chuck U!"
"Chuck U, too. What's the news?"
"The alien lives."
"Roger."

The receiver is placed gently in it's cradle, a copy of "Senior Bop" falls to the coffee table, and suddenly, a long-dormant secret society comes to life! The lights flicker, TV screens pop on, and a melodious chorus of Microsoft Windows opening echos through the halls. The Chuck U. Farley fan compound is back on-line!


Originally posted by Kodos:


Originally posted by Chuck U Farley:
Unfamiliar? Is that even possible?

I'm so excited. Welcome back.


Well, some folks don't even know who our President is...

As for you secret underground compound dwellers, another season of Chuck U is ready to be served up. I'm guessing you'll want bypass "rare" and go straight to "well done."
;)

[Kodos]

It was a lonnnnnnnng offseason following our resounding 42-12 defeat in the NFC Championship at the hand of the eventual champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Worse yet (at least as far as I was concerned) was our continued rush towards Bill Gates’ financial “line in the sand.” Now, with just over $93 million in losses standing between myself and the unemployment line, I faced the very real possibility of being fired after the 2017 season. My only hope was to somehow turn a team that had lost over $62 million dollars in each of the last 2 seasons into a profitable operation before we hit that magical $9.2 billion in losses mark... or to take advantage of the one loophole and keep on winning Super Bowls until we became profitable. With an almost tangible sense of my impending doom, I attempted to bury my misery in the preparations for the 2016 season.

[HornedFrog Purple]

Rats!

Go Jerry go! ;)

[Kodos]

Nice try, Horned, but a little forum change can't stop ol' Kodos!

[Kodos]

2016 Offseason

Coach/Scout Signing Period:

I went bargain hunting for a possible cheap upgrade to our coaching staff during the coach hiring period, but everyone who appeared to be even remotely qualified to coach an NFL team (a.k.a., a coach Jerry Jones would see fit to hire) was asking for too damn much, so we reluctantly kept our incumbent coach, Irv Saxon, under contract. Hey, at least he's inexpensive.

Of course, we never even considered replacing second-year scout and favorite son Kyle Diaz.

2016 Ticket Prices

I faced a real dilemma concerning what to do with our ticket prices. On the one hand, raising our prices could bring in some much-needed revenue. On the other hand, it might drive away some of our newly-won fans. I agonized for weeks on which way to go, but in the end, I opted not to raise our ticket prices in hopes of continuing the upward trend in our home-game attendance. The Cowboys, in the face of plummeting attendance, also declined to increase their 2016 prices.

[Kodos]

2016 Free Agency Period

Defensive tackle Sean Ross was the only Cowboy available to be signed, but despite our need for help along the defensive line, we opted not to pursue Ross due to his inflated salary demands.

Instead, we turned our attention to renegotiating contracts for our own guys who were entering the final year of their deals. Here is the breakdown of how much we paid everyone:

Left tackle Terrance Read signed a 3-year deal worth $18.47 million, with a $4.2 million bonus.

Split end Ralph Randle agreed to a 4-year package worth $27.53 million. Like Read, Randle also received a nice $4.2 million bonus. Go buy another house, Ralph.

Flanker Earl Thornton signed a contract extension worth $29.51 million over 4 years, and accepted a relatively modest $3.82 million bonus.

Right guard Darren Cruise agreed to a 3-year deal for $10.87 million base salary a $3.76 million bonus.

No doubt certain fans were delighted to hear that tight end Chuck Farley signed on for another 4 years in Gatesville at a cost of $24.7 million with a hefty $4.7 million bonus.

Fullback Levon Wallace came to terms for $8.82 million over 3 years with a $1.41 million bonus. God bless you, Levon. At least someone isn’t trying to drive me out a little faster.

Third receiver Ty Robbins was rewarded for his 1000-yard season with a 4-year deal worth $29.19 million and a $3.82 million bonus.

SOLB Terrance Fuller agreed to a 3-year deal for $13.77 million and a $5.64 million bonus.

Free Agent Losses:

Center Jonathan Farmer, a mainstay of our offensive line for years, defected to the Ravens for $23.21 million over 3 years. Former backup center Gene Flannery will take Farmer’s spot in the starting lineup next season.

WOLB Allen Whitfield, who is getting up in years anyway, demanded too much for me to justify ($18.63 over 3 years with a $7.72 million bonus), so I let him test the waters of free agency. As it turned out, nobody else wanted to pay him that much either.

Trades:

In a move that surprised few, underperforming RB Everett Schwarz was dealt to the Panthers in exchange for their 3rd Round pick in the 2016 draft.

Talented-but-temperamental guard Rob Stanton got his wish, as we shipped him (along with RB Marcus White) off to St. Louis in exchange for their 1st Round Pick (number 30) in the 2016 draft.

Cuts:

Backup WR Tim Terrell was cut. And nobody even noticed.

Up next: The 2016 Draft.

[Kodos]

2016 Draft

We came into the draft looking to provide our underperforming incumbent RB, Herb Matthews, with some legitimate competition for the starting job. Our 2 picks in Round 1 both came late, at slots 30 and 32. When pick number 30 finally rolled around, we snatched up a promising young running back by the name of Lonnie Ruiter, a 5’11”, 195-pound back out of Georgia Tech who possessed good breakaway speed along with a decent pair of hands. Two spots later we drafted Artie Furman, a 6’0”, 191-pound WR out of good ol’ Indiana University, that hotbed of NFL talent (and my alma mater). Artie, though unpolished, has reliable hands and is adept at picking up yardage after the catch. Hopefully these 2 will be able to bolster an offense which sagged a bit in 2015.

Here’s how the rest of the 2016 Draft went down for us. Certain folks will be glad to see that we drafted ourselves a Jayhawk in the fourth round. Of course, being a Jayhawk, he was only a punter, and not a real football player. ;)

Rnd 1 - Lonnie Ruiter, RB, Georgia Tech
Rnd 1 - Artie Furman, WR, Indiana
Rnd 2 - Zack Terrell, G, Penn State
Rnd 3 - Kurt Robertson, LB, Texas
Rnd 3 - Matt Douglas, CB, Marshall
Rnd 4 - Frankie Branch, P, Kansas
Rnd 5 - Kerry Ondre, QB, Duke
Rnd 5 - Donnie Langford, C, Miss. Valley St.
Rnd 6 - Drew Knight, TE, Arizona


Coming Up Tomorrow: Training Camp. See you all then. :)

[Kodos]

2016 Training Camp

After last season’s abysmal performance on special teams, which more times than not left us with bad field position and our opponents with wonderful field position, we dedicated 50% of our time to special skills, especially punt returns, kick returns, and field goal kicking. Hopefully this will help us win the field position battle in the upcoming season.

On offense, we stayed with the I, Strong I, and Singleback formations, while we dropped the goal-line formation entirely. On defense, we concentrated on Zone coverage and the 3-4 and Nickel formations. The 4-3 was dropped, and in its place we worked on the Dime. Man-to-man coverage and goal-line defense also received considerable attention.

Breakouts/Busts

Our 6th Round pick, tight end Drew Knight, did not pan out and was released. Second-year linebacker Sam Viola continued to improve and will replace Al Ingram as our starter at WILB, while Ingram, one of the most prolific tacklers in league history, will shift to SILB. Second-year tackle Albert Alexander will take over for Terrance Read at left tackle. Read in turn will replace James Pond at RT.

<pre><font face="courier">
From the desk of Kyle Diaz of the Gatesville Silicon Pirates

Position/Player Current Est Future Est Exp Sgnd
QB Devin Bergeron 18 19 7 2018
QB Dana Alston 8 11 4 2019
QB Kerry Ondre 7 10 1 2017
RB Herb Matthews 12 14 4 2016
RB Heath Patterson 6 6 1 2022
RB Brant Connor 6 8 1 2022
RB Lonnie Ruiter 6 15 1 2019
FB Levon Wallace 13 13 8 2018
FB Edwin Burgess 3 3 1 2022
TE Chuck Farley 17 17 10 2019
TE Mitchell Horner 10 10 2 2017
WR Earl Thornton 14 15 5 2019
WR Ralph Randle 11 13 6 2019
WR Ty Robbins 10 11 5 2019
WR Artie Furman 9 12 1 2019
WR Antoine Dugans 6 6 3 2020
WR Scott Cooley 5 5 1 2022
C Gene Flannery 14 14 3 2017
C Wes Diggs 4 9 1 2022
C Donnie Langford 3 15 1 2018
G Rusty Pleasant 18 18 11 2017
G Darren Cruise 13 13 13 2018
G Zack Terrell 5 9 1 2019
G Ellis McCreary 3 12 1 2022
T Terrance Read 12 13 8 2018
T Albert Alexander 12 17 2 2017
T James Pond 11 12 12 2018
T Duane Perez 1 5 1 2022
P Frankie Branch 12 14 1 2018
K Broderick Hidalgo 17 18 11 2017
DE Frankie Farley 6 7 4 2019
DE Will Rison 2 8 1 2022
DE Ronnie Bolton 1 6 1 2022
DT Jose Mason 8 8 2 2021
DT Eric Cash 8 9 5 2018
DT Dusty Szilter 6 9 2 2021
DT Paul Everett 6 10 4 2019
DT Gary Goetzinger 2 6 1 2022
LB Al Ingram 11 11 13 2017
LB Terrance Fuller 9 9 11 2018
LB Sam Viola 8 17 2 2019
LB Dexter Mincy 7 7 2 2018
LB Kurt Robertson 5 14 1 2019
LB Norbert Holmes 3 9 2 2021
LB Arnold Marshall 2 9 1 2022
CB Joel Harden 15 15 11 2017
CB Mike Eagle 6 10 4 2016
CB Ernest Rodgers 4 6 1 2022
CB Derek Brandon 4 4 2 2017
CB Matt Douglas 4 9 1 2018
S Dave Sanders 17 17 8 2017
S Alan Hines 7 7 2 2021
S Timothy Whalen 7 9 1 2022
S Isaac Shaye 2 13 1 2022

Key: Current Est - Current Estimate of skills,
Future Est - Estimate of future skills,
Exp - Years of experience, Sgnd - Last year of contract
(UFA - free agent, no contract)
</font></pre>

============================================


2016 Season Ticket Sales

Our upward trend in season ticket sales continued, as we sold 37,600 out of a possible 59,200 season tickets. While any increase in sales is of course desirable, this wasn’t really as nice of an increase as I had hoped for. Those 21,600 unsold tickets would have represented a major boost to my job security had they been sold. Still, it was a small improvement over our sales in recent seasons (36,300 in 2015, and 30,700 in 2014). In the end, our failure to reach the Super Bowl probably cost us another 5,000 season ticket sales. :(

Surely that couldn't end up being the difference between me being forced out and me staying on after 2017... Could it? :confused: **Gulp.**

Up Next: The 2016 Exhibition Season.

[Kodos]

2016 Exhibition Season

The 2016 Exhibition Season was highlighted by a 6-catch, 92-yard, 5 touchdown performance by our first round pick (rookie WR Artie Furman) against the Steelers in just his second game, as well as by Chuck Farley’s spectacular 93-yard touchdown bomb from Berg in our third exhibition game. However, the exhibition season was not all fun ‘n’ games, as we sustained significant injuries to several key offensive starters: Left guard Rusty Pleasant sprained his back and will miss 3-5 weeks. Right tackle Terrance Read sustained a stretched knee ligament and will likewise miss 3-5 weeks. Finally, flanker Earl Thornton broke his foot and, keeping with the trend, will likely miss 3-5 weeks. All in all, it was a bit of a rough preseason. Still, we managed to win 3 out of 4 exhibition games, with our lone loss coming at the hands of the Richmond Wranglers.

<pre><font face="courier">
Week Opponent Result Attend No-Shows
Week 1 OPEN
Week 2 DES MOINES TIMBER WOLVES W, 21-14 40,800 3,600
Week 3 PITTSBURGH STEELERS W, 45-42 43,200 4,100
Week 4 Richmond Wranglers L, 17-29 51,800 2,900
Week 5 Kansas City Chiefs W, 42-10 76,500 3,400
</font></pre>

The Cowboys went .500 in the preseason, with a couple of easy wins and one decisive defeat at the hands of the same Wranglers team who ended up handing us our only preseason loss in Week 4.

<pre><font face="courier">
Week Opponent Result Attend No-Shows
Week 1 OPEN
Week 2 MIAMI DOLPHINS W, 26-7 43,500 8,300
Week 3 RICHMOND WRANGLERS L, 16-31 44,900 3,300
Week 4 DETROIT LIONS W, 28-7 42,100 7,200
Week 5 Des Moines Timber Wolves L, 14-17 40,600 5,800
</font></pre>

When all was said and done, here is how the standings looked in the NFC East after the 2016 preseason was through.
<pre><font face="courier">
NFC East W L T Pct PF PA Div Conf
Gatesville 3 1 0 .750 125 95 0-0-0 0-0-0
Philadelphia 3 1 0 .750 59 77 0-0-0 0-0-0
Dallas 2 2 0 .500 84 62 0-0-0 0-0-0
Washington 2 2 0 .500 71 82 0-0-0 0-0-0
Arizona 1 3 0 .250 42 75 0-0-0 0-0-0
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

2016 Regular Season schedules:

We were scheduled to start off the 2016 campaign with 3 straight home games. In a perfect world, I would have preferred to have started out with some wins on the road so that the hometown fans would be hyped up for our home opener, but the scheduling gods were not on our side this time. Alas.
<pre><font face="courier">
Week Opponent
Week 1 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
Week 2 DALLAS COWBOYS
Week 3 ARIZONA CARDINALS
Week 4 San Diego Chargers
Week 5 WASHINGTON REDSKINS
Week 6 Philadelphia Eagles
Week 7 OPEN
Week 8 Dallas Cowboys
Week 9 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
Week 10 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
Week 11 St. Louis Rams
Week 12 Arizona Cardinals
Week 13 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
Week 14 Washington Redskins
Week 15 Wichita Gamblers
Week 16 NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
Week 17 Detroit Lions
</font></pre>

The Cowboys were looking for a quick start with 4 out of their first 5 games scheduled to be held at Texas Stadium. However, the favorable early season schedule also meant that Jerry’s ‘Boys would face a tough stretch run with lots of away games. As always, Bill and I were pulling for a slow start and a painful finish to the ‘Boys season. :D
<pre><font face="courier">
Week Opponent
Week 1 WICHITA GAMBLERS
Week 2 Gatesville Silicon Pirates
Week 3 CHICAGO BEARS
Week 4 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
Week 5 ARIZONA CARDINALS
Week 6 Washington Redskins
Week 7 San Diego Chargers
Week 8 GATESVILLE SILICON PIRATES
Week 9 WASHINGTON REDSKINS
Week 10 Minnesota Vikings
Week 11 OPEN
Week 12 GREEN BAY PACKERS
Week 13 Oakland Raiders
Week 14 Philadelphia Eagles
Week 15 Arizona Cardinals
Week 16 CAROLINA PANTHERS
Week 17 San Francisco 49ers
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

2016 Starting Lineups:

Offense:

Veteran RB Herb Matthews showed us enough during the preseason to retain the starting halfback duties for our season opener against the Seahawks, but first round pick Lonnie Ruiter will be seeing plenty of action as well this year. As mentioned earlier, the upstart Albert Alexander has taken over the job at left tackle, and Terrance Read has shifted over to starting right tackle. Gene Flannery takes over at center for the departed Jonathan Farmer. Otherwise, our offensive lineup looks much the same as it did last season.

QB - Devin Bergeron
RB – Herb Matthews
FB - Levon Wallace
TE - Chuck Farley
FL - Earl Thornton (injured – Ty Robbins will start until Thornton returns)
SE - Ralph Randle
LT – Albert Alexander
LG - Rusty Pleasant (injured – Darren Cruise will sub for Pleasant)
C – Gene Flannery
RG - Darren Cruise (rookie Zack Terrell will sub for Cruise)
RT – Terrance Read (injured – James Pond will replace Read until he can return)

Defense:

In our usual defensive-line shuffle, Frankie Farley shifts back to RE, while Dusty Szilter takes over Farley’s old spot at LE. Paul Everett moves to NT from RE. In the linebacking corps, Kurt Robertson replaces the departed Allen Whitfield at WOLB, while Sam Viola and Al Ingram trade places inside and Terrance Fuller returns at SOLB. For better or worse, our secondary returns completely intact from last season. Of course, this is a secondary that ranked 31st in the league last year. :rolleyes:

LE – Dusty Szilter
NT – Paul Everett
RE - Frankie Farley
WOLB – Kurt Robertson
WILB – Sam Viola
SILB – Al Ingram
SOLB - Terrance Fuller
LCB - Joel Harden
RCB - Mike Eagle
FS - Dave Sanders
SS - Alan Hines


Next Up: The 2016 Regular Season. After much, much too long, it’s finally time to start out on that long, peril-filled road that leads to the Super Bowl. Time will tell whether or not these 2016 Silicon Pirates will be able to right the ship and return to Super Bowl glory; and time will tell whether or not our bottom line will improve enough to save this poor alien's job. At this point, only one thing is certain: Whatever may come, the journey starts today.

Go Gatesville! :D


Originally posted by sterlingice:


Here’s how the rest of the 2016 Draft went down for us. Certain folks will be glad to see that we drafted ourselves a Jayhawk in the fourth round. Of course, being a Jayhawk, he was only a punter, and not a real football player.
Well, since DK is asleep at the wheel, I'll add the commentary of "at least he isn't a purple power pussy (cat)."

SI

[Kodos]

Week 1

Seattle (0-0) at Gatesville (0-0)
============================================

Attendance: 47,400 attend (out of a possible 59,200), while 3,600 are no shows. Last year, our home opener saw 46,000 attend, so this is a small improvement. Really small.

Injury Update:

Ty Robbins got the start at flanker in place of Earl Thornton, who was out with a broken foot.

Rookie lineman Zack Terrell got the nod at right guard in place of Rusty Pleasant, who has a sprained back.

Wily veteran James Pond filled in for Terrance Read at right tackle.

The Game:

On a hot and rainy September day, the Pirates began what most likely would be their second to last year with me as their GM. In the first quarter, rookie wide receiver Artie Furman caught his first NFL touchdwon, a 6-yarder from our franchise QB, Devin Bergeron, to put us on top 7-0. Despite two Seahawk forays into our red zone, we went into the half with the scoreboard still reading 7-0 in our favor.

In the third quarter, Seahawks QB Lewis Dole scrambled in from a few yards out to tie the game up at 7-7. However, with eleven minutes left in regulation, Berg threw his second TD pass of the day, this time to split end Ralph Randle, to regain the lead 14-7.

Pinned deep in his own territory and trailing 14-7 midway through the 4th quarter, Lewis Dole tried to force one to Brad Wilkerson, but Pirates rookie safety Timothy Whalen stepped in front of Wilkerson and took the ball 18-yards the other way to paydirt to extend our lead to 21-7.

With 1:10 remaining in the game, Dole found Wilkerson in the end zone for an 11-yard touchdown to cap a 7-play, 61-yard drive that kept the final outcome in question. With time running out, the Seahawks were forced to try an onside kick. I watched in horror as the ball bounced over Levon Wallace’s outreached hands and disappeared into a crowd of white and blue jerseys. When the referees had pulled everyone off, Seahawk CB Vernon Garcia had the ball.

With 60 yards to go and 1:05 left on the clock, Dole and the Seattle offense took to the field looking to send the game into overtime. Dole’s first 2 passes fell harmlessly to the ground, but on third-and-10, he found Wilkerson for 29-yards down the sideline. Now just 31 yards away, Dole kept the ball in the air on first down, but couldn’t get it to his man. On second down with 24 seconds left on the clock, Dole went for it all, and all-pro free safety Dave Sanders was there to pick it off and preserve the win. Whew! :eek: That was too close!

Key Performers:

Backup safety Timothy Whalen earned the Game MVP award with his 3 tackles and the momentum-swinging interception return for a touchdown.

Herb Matthews had a solid outing to open the 2016 campaign, as he gained 109 yards on 14 carries and caught 2 balls for 11 yards.

Berg completed 20 of 33 passes for 255 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 interception.

Ralph Randle caught 7 passes for 108 yards and a TD.

First round pick Artie Furman caught 3 passes for 25 yards and 1 TD in his NFL debut.

Chuck Farley had a quiet day with 4 catches for 32 yards.


============================================
Wichita (0-0) at Dallas (0-0)

Wichita travelled to Dallas in Week 1 and went home with a 19-6 loss.

[Kodos]

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Dallas Cowboys

Injury Report:
Gino Burroughs, WR - Questionable
Michael Robertson, G - Probable
Greg Drayson, S - Questionable
Sean Ross, DT - Out
Paul McElroy, WR - Probable
Jamal McElroy, LB - Probable
William Terry, G - Questionable

Offensive Overview:

Starting Quarterback: Tracy Mazurek
19 for 35, 183 yards, 0 TDs, 0 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing short passes.

Starting Running Back: Norbert Healey
12 carries for 44 yards, 0 touchdowns this season.
Very good overall runner.

Starting Flanker: Gino Burroughs
6 receptions for 56 yards, 0 touchdowns this season.
hands.

Starting Split End: Dale Corbett
5 receptions for 39 yards, 0 touchdowns this season.
Good go-to receiver.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Winston Wayne
2 tackles, 0 assists, 1.5 sacks this season.
Fair pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive End: Marlon Linquist
first start of the season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Kerry Grasso
1 tackles, 0 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Rich Peterson
first start of the season.
Fair defender against the run.

Starting Weak-Side Linebacker: Jamal McElroy
7 tackles, 2 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Good man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Middle Linebacker: Troy Tompkins
5 tackles, 1 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Excellent pass-rusher.

Starting Strong-Side Linebacker: Bruce Leatherwood
1 tackles, 1 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
No real strengths to speak of. ;) That Kyle is a straight-shooter, ain’t he?

Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Joel Flannery
1 tackles, 1 assists, 0 interceptions this season.
Very good zone pass defender.

Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Jerome McCarthy
5 tackles, 0 assists, 0 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Greg Drayson
first start of the season.
Excellent man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Strong Safety: Harvey Casillas
5 tackles, 0 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Good zone pass defender.

[Kodos]

Week 2

Dallas (1-0) at Gatesville (1-0)
============================================

Attendance: 49,700, with 2,500 no-shows

The Game:

We welcomed Jerry and his Jailboys to Gatesville in Week 2 of the still-young 2016 season. Sporting a 1-0 record, the Cowboys were strutting and preening for the cameras before the game. On the sidelines, Jones appeared to be Mr. Happy Pants as he talked about his third facelift with one of the local news-bimbos. As I watched the newscast later that night, I heard Jerry talking about the pride being back in Big D.

The first quarter passed in fairly unnoteworthy fashion, with the exception of a pair of missed field goals, one by Bo Atkins for them and one by Broderick Hidalgo for us. Both attempts were from pretty far out, so no big whup.

In the second quarter, we gave the Gatesville crowd something to cheer about as Chuck Farley opened up the scoring in the second quarter with a 4-yard grab from Berg that made it a 7-0 ballgame. Following a failed drive by the Cowboys, our first 1st round pick, the rookie RB Lonnie Ruiter, bounced off of left tackle and took it 50 yards for a score! 14-0, Silicon Pirates! But he wasn’t done. Next drive, Ruiter topped himself with and 88-yard touchdown run when James Pond sprung him on the right side! 21-0!

Now desperate to respond, Tracy Mazurek forced a ball into the endzone, but Dave Sanders came away with the ball, and soon Hidalgo would make it 24-0! The Boys did manage a gimme field goal before the half ended, but that was just putting Bactine on the bloodied stump. 24-3 Pirates going into the half!

In the second half, Ruiter completed the trifecta with a 7-yard run that extended our lead to 31-3. Antoine Dugans’ 61-yard punt return for a touchdown would close out the scoring, as we ran away in a laugher against the Cowboys, 38-3. Oh baby, the Pride Is Back In Big D, folks! The Pride is Back! :D

Key Performers:

Lonnie Ruiter garnered the Game MVP award with a breakout performance. On just 9 carries, he amassed 168 yards and 3 TDs. Great shot, kid! That was one in a million! Unfortunately, the kid suffered a stretched triceps muscle in the fourth quarter, and will need 2-3 months to heal. :( In the post-game interview, he told ‘em “My only regret is that I have but one triceps muscle to give for my teammates.” Great kid, eh?

Berg was solid but unspectacular, as he completed 14 of 24 attempts for 167 yards and 1 TD.

Chuck Farley had 3 catches on the day for 24 yards and 1 TD.

Bo Atkins missed 3 out of 4 field goal attempts for the Cowboys. Sign him to a long-term contract, Jerry!

Tracy Mazurek completed 13 of 23 passes for 204 yards and 1 interception.

Cory Rheams had 5 catches for a buck-seven for the Cowboys. As the score indicates, 107 yards wasn’t nearly enough. :)

New Injuries:

The victory, while sweet, came at a cost. In addition to the injury to Ruiter, a half-dozen other guys are really ailing right now. Our aging offensive line is getting hit particularly hard so far in this young season.

Darren Cruise, our starting right guard, suffered broken ribs and is out for 2-3 months.

Joel Harden, our all-pro corner, broke his finger and may miss 2 weeks.

Rusty Pleasant, our starting left guard, still needs a couple more weeks to return from a sprained back.

Terrance Read, our starting right tackle, is still recuperating from a stretched knee ligament and should be back by Week 4.

Earl Thornton’s broken foot still needs a week or two more to finish healing.

Say, did anyone see where that Bactine went? :confused:


Originally posted by cthomer5000:


as long as you can keep 22 guys healthy, it's looking pretty good. Bring those cowboys to their knees! :p


Originally posted by Kodos:

cthomer - The offensive line troubles have me a bit concerned, but otherwise things are looking good so far.


Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:


Outstanding start, there!

Way to put those Cowboys in their place!

I take it your coach isn't very good with injuries?


Originally posted by Kodos:

Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
I take it your coach isn't very good with injuries?

Irv's not so good, no. When you go cheap-o, you apparently get low quality-o. How I long for the days when Bill was just a signin' the checks without thinkin' twice... :(


Originally posted by SplitPersonality1:


but that was just putting Bactine on the bloodied stump.


Originally posted by Kodos:

Thanks, SP1. I liked that line too. :)
LMAO! Great stuff as always Kodos.

[Kodos]

Week 3

Arizona (2-0) at Gatesville (2-0)
============================================

Attendance: 50,300 folks bought tickets, but 3,600 didn’t bother to show up.

The Game:

For the second week in a row, we welcomed an undefeated division rival into Gatesville, and for the second week in a row, we sent them home with an embarrassing loss. Berg, despite an off day that saw him throw two interceptions and cough up one fumble, connected with Chuck Farley in the red zone for 3 touchdowns of 12, 10, and 4 yards. Throw in some field goals, an 84-yard Scott Cooley kickoff return for a touchdown, and you have the makings of a 41-13 rout. Gatesville is rockin’ and rollin’ at 3-0, and Chuck U leads the league with 4 touchdowns through Week 3! 2016 is looking pretty good so far, people! Go Pirates!

Key Performers:

Sam Viola somehow got the Game MVP award for his 9 tackles and 1 sack, but everyone in the locker room knew that Chuck U’s 6 catches for 71 yards and 3 scores were what did it for us.

Matthews had a balanced game, with 10 runs for 52 yards and 1 score, as well as 5 catches for 63 yards.

Berg did not have his best day, but did throw for 3 touchdowns and 298 yards on 18 of 30 passing. He also threw 2 picks (one in the end zone) and fumbled the ball once too.


============================================
Chicago (1-1) at Dallas (1-1)

The Bears tried, but in the end came up short against the Cowboys, 28-19. Too bad we couldn’t lend them 10 points from our victory over the Boys last week... :p


Originally posted by revrew:


The game film is securely locked within the vault, polished and preserved when we make a bid to Canton for Chuck's enshrinement.

Oh, and that little episode with Sam Viola's dog--we deny any responsibility. We didn't even know there was a sausage factory in Gatesville. And even if we did, we certainly wouldn't have left the whiskers sticking out of the summer sausage for effect. (They did report that on the news, right?)


Originally posted by Kodos:

Scraps?!?... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!!! :eek:

[Kodos]

Week 4

Gatesville (3-0) at San Diego (3-0)
============================================


The Game:

Week 4 saw us travel to the West Coast to face the as-yet-undefeated San Diego Super Chargers. Riding high after a convincing victory over our division-rival Cardinals in Week 3, we came into town brimming with confidence.

The opening drive saw us move methodically down the field behind Berg’s precision aerial assault, but the drive came to a screeching halt when Berg was picked off by Charger cornerback Will Clemons in the end zone. Billy Breedlove’s 33-yard field goal on the Charger’s ensuing drive quickly put us into a 3-0 hole.

Toward the end of the first fifteen minutes, Berg completed a nice drive with a 26-yard strike to rookie receiver Artie Furman, which gave us our first lead of the day, 7-3.

In the second quarter, Berg was picked off once again, this time deep in our own territory. Shane Hansen’s 31-yard return finished in the end zone, and made the score 10-7 in San Diego’s favor. To make things worse, a Herb Matthews fumble late in the half set up a 21-yard field goal that sent the Chargers into the half with a 13-7 lead. All in all, we considered ourselves lucky to be trailing by just 6 points after our 3 first-half turnovers.

The second half saw our situation get worse, as Charger QB Leonard Coffey found a wide-open Joel Lindsay down the sideline for a 30-yard touchdown. In a small favor from the football gods, the Charger’s 2-point attempt fell short as the runner was tackled just shy of the line, leaving it at 19-7 Chargers.

A 34-yard Hidalgo field goal brought us to within 19-10 before the third quarter ended, but a Coffey-to-Wesley Morton touchdown in the fourth put the game almost out of reach at 26-10.

With just 3:39 remaining in the game, Berg tossed an 8-yard touchdown to Herb Matthews. After Chuck Farley’s reception for the 2 point conversion, we found ourselves back in a one-score game, 26-18.

The Chargers took over possession with 3-and-a-half minutes remaining, but 2 quick incompletions and a run for a 1-yard loss gave us the ball right back with only 43 seconds taken off of the clock. With 2:38 left in the game and another chance to push it to overtime, Berg led the offense back onto the field with 71 yards standing between us and a possible tie. Immediately, Berg went deep, and found Artie Furman flying down the middle of the field for a 42-yard strike. Next, from the Charger 29, Berg next looked for running back Herb Matthews out of the backfield, but Matthews couldn’t get the handle on the ball, and it fell incomplete. Next play, Berg tried to get it to Matthews again, but safety Shane Hansen got a hand in and deflected the ball. On third-and-10, Berg looked for seldom-used rookie RB Edwin Burgess, but the ball was underthrown. Facing fourth-and-10, Berg threw to Furman in the back of the end zone, but this time cornerback Darrin Kelley was there to knock it down, and the Chargers took possession of the ball with 1:49 left to go and an 8-point lead.

Wanting nothing more than to run out the rest of the clock, fifteen-year veteran QB Leonard Coffey and the Chargers picked a up quick first down with an 8-yard Wesley Morton reception and a 22-yard Van Bishop run around the left end. After that, our defense was able to shut them down and force a punt with 36 seconds remaining.

With 30 seconds on the clock, no time outs left, and 80 yards of real estate between us and the goal line, we took to the field with one last chance. On first down, the receivers were blanketed, so Berg pullled it down and scrambled for six yards, but he didn't get out of bounds, and precious seconds kept flying off of the clock. Quickly, Berg took the snap and hastily threw one Furman’s way, but to no avail. With just 4 ticks remaining, Berg lofted one deep, but cornerback Bernie Norton was there to pick it off. End of game. Final score: 26-18, San Diego.

Key Performers:

Berg had a terrible day, completing just 19 of 43 pass attempts for 334 yards, 2 TDs, and 3 interceptions. He did manage to gain 52 yards on 8 runs, but the defense was in his face all day for 6 sacks.

Artie Furman continued to impress with 7 catches for 151 yards and 1 TD.

Matthews had 4 runs for 3 yards. In all, our running backs gained just 22 yards on 8 carries. That’s just not gonna get it done. :(

San Diego’s Leonard Coffey had himself a wonderful outing, completing 20 of 33 passes for 216 yards and 2 TDs.

New Injuries:

Artie Furman paid for his 7 catches with a bruised ribcage. He should be fine in a couple weeks.

Ralph Randle left the game with a pulled groin that could take up to 5 weeks to heal properly. He will be inactive for our Week 5 game versus Washington.


============================================
Philadelphia (1-2) at Dallas (2-1)

A very bad Eagles team put up almost no fight versus the Cowboys, succumbing by the score of 22-3. :mad:

[Kodos]

Week 5

Washington (1-3) at Gatesville (3-1)
============================================

Attendance: 49,700 bought tickets, with 5,100 no-shows.

Injury Update:

Our starting flanker, Earl Thornton, returned from his broken foot injury for Week 5. Unfortunately, two other guys, WRs Ralph Randle (groin) and Artie Furman (bruised ribs), were out with injuries.

On the offensive line, James Pond started at right guard for Darren Cruise (broken ribs), while Rusty Pleasant returned from his sprained back injury to reclaim his role as our starting left guard.

The Game:

A 26-yard Herb Matthews rushing TD in the first quarter and a 10-yard Ty Robbins touchdown grab helped us go into the half with a 17-13 advantage, but Wade Richey’s third field goal of the day, a 42 yarder, trimmed our lead to 17-16 with just under 10 minutes left in the third quarter. To make matters worse, Berg left the game with an injury on our next drive. Kerry Ondre, Berg’s replacement, deftly completed the drive and found paydirt on an 18-yard hookup with Ty Robbins to extend our lead to 24-16 with 5 minutes left in the third. Broderick Hidalgo’s 40-yard field goal that came 3 minutes into the fourth quarter put us up 27-16, and from there we were able to hold on with the help of a late Dave Sanders interception to push our record to 4-1.

Key Performers:

Dave Sanders earned himself the Game MVP award with his clutch interception, which he supplemented with 5 tackles and 2 assists.

Berg completed 11 of 15 passes for 134 yards and 1 TD before leaving the game in the third quarter with a foot injury.

Matthews ran for 19 yards on 11 carries, but did manage to score one touchdown. He also caught 5 passes for 41 yards.

Backup QB Kerry Ondre completed 14 of 16 passes for 138 yards and 1 TD in relief of Bergeron - a nice showing for our fifth-round rookie out of Duke.

Chuck Farley just missed reaching the century mark with 8 catches for 95 yards.

Ty Robbins made the most of his 5 catches for 65 yards and 2 TDs.

New Injuries:

Berg has turf toe, and will need a couple weeks to heal up.


============================================
Arizona (2-2) at Dallas (3-1)

The Cowboys prevailed in a close game with the Cardinals, 16-10.

Next up: The 1-4 Philadelphia Eagles. See you in Week 6, folks. :)

[Kodos]

Week 6

Gatesville (4-1) at Philadelphia (1-4)
============================================


Injury Update:

With a bye coming up in Week 7, we thought our game against a weak Philadelphia squad would provide a good chance to hold back some dinged up players in the hope of having them healthy for our Week 8 showdown with the Cowboys. With that in mind, our 5th round pick, Kerry Ondre, replaced Berg (turf toe) at QB. Likewise, WRs Artie Furman (bruised ribs) and Ralph Randle (pulled groin) both sat the game out.

The Game:

The first quarter ended scoreless, and the second quarter was headed the same way until Broderick Hidalgo hit a 50-yarder to put us up 3-0. Given a chance to extend our lead to 6 with a 51-yard attempt later in the quarter, Hidalgo’s kick came up short, and the score remained 3-0. Philly managed a touchdown before the half, and another one after the half, to go up on us 14-3 in the third quarter. After that, backup QB Kerry Ondre did manage to hit Levon Wallace to pull us to within 14-10, but the Eagles soon answered with another touchdown of their own to lead us 21-10 after 3 quarters of play. Ty Robbins managed to pull in a 25-yard touchdown from Ondre in the 4th, but that was as close as we would come on a miserable day in Philly in which the woeful Eagles ultimately prevailed, 21-16. Perhaps benching Bergeron wasn’t such a clever idea after all...? :confused:

Key Performers:

No performances were worthy of mentioning.


============================================
Dallas (4-1) at Washington (1-4)

To make the day even crappier, our loss, combined with a 22-9 Cowboys win over the Redskins, gave Dallas sole possession of first place in the East. Apparently, we are the only team that feels a need to beat dem Cowboys. :(

[Kodos]

Week 7

Gatesville had the bye.
============================================
Dallas (5-1) at San Diego (4-1)

The Chargers made a good run at beating the Cowboys, but ultimately came up short, 28-23. The win moved the Cowboys further ahead of us in the division...

[Kodos]

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Dallas Cowboys

Injury Report:

Jessie Nestor, T - Probable
Sean Ross, DT - Out
Damon Tanner, CB - Questionable
Kerry Grasso, DT - Questionable
Jamal McElroy, LB - Questionable
Howard McHenry, CB - Questionable
Rich Peterson, DT - Out

Offensive Overview:

Starting Quarterback: Tracy Mazurek
105 for 174, 1095 yards, 4 TDs, 6 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing short passes.

Starting Running Back: Norbert Healey
107 carries for 477 yards, 5 touchdowns this season.
Very good overall runner.

Starting Flanker: Gino Burroughs
19 receptions for 189 yards, 0 touchdowns this season.
hands.

Starting Split End: Dale Corbett
25 receptions for 216 yards, 1 touchdowns this season.
Good go-to receiver.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Winston Wayne
22 tackles, 3 assists, 6.5 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive End: Marlon Linquist
16 tackles, 6 assists, 5.0 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Kerry “Ass Is” Grasso
10 tackles, 4 assists, 2.5 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Sean Ross
4 tackles, 0 assists, 0.5 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Weak-Side Linebacker: Jamal McElroy
27 tackles, 8 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Very good man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Middle Linebacker: Troy Tompkins
37 tackles, 12 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Excellent pass-rusher.

Starting Strong-Side Linebacker: Bruce Leatherwood
23 tackles, 7 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Fair defender against the run.

Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Joel Flannery
18 tackles, 9 assists, 1 interceptions this season.
Very good zone pass defender.

Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Jerome McCarthy
15 tackles, 4 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Greg Drayson
23 tackles, 6 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Excellent man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Strong Safety: Harvey Casillas
24 tackles, 7 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Good zone pass defender.

[Kodos]

Week 8

Gatesville (4-2) at Dallas (6-1)
============================================


Injury Update:

Ralph Randle remained inactive for Week 8 with a pulled groin, but Artie Furman was able to return to the active roster for our showdown with the Cowboys.

The Game:

We rolled into Dallas needing a win to keep ourselves within striking distance in the race for the NFC East title. Outside of the 38-3 thrashing that we handed them back in Week 2, the Cowboys had gone undefeated. A loss to them now would put them at 7-1 and drop us to 4-3. It was imperative that we beat them, even more so than or usual mandate.

Dallas won possession of the ball for the first drive of the game, and started out at their own 16 following the kickoff return. The Cowboys gained a couple first downs early while keeping the ball on the ground, with running back Norbert Healey providing most of the yardage. Thirteen plays into the drive, Dale Corbett dropped a Tracy Mazurek pass on third-and-1 from our 25, but an intentional face mask call bailed them out and moved the ball to our 13-yard line. Three plays later, Healey smashed through the left side of the line for a 4-yard touchdown to give the Cowboys an early 7-0 advantage.

In stark contrast to the Cowboys’ lengthy, methodical opening drive, our first crack at the ball netted us –8 yards and a quick three-and-out.

Once again, the Cowboys started out moving the ball on the ground, which set our defense up for a 19-yard strike to Cory Rheams that moved them to our 36. With our defense needing somebody to step up, left end Dusty Szilter beat his man to the outside and crushed Mazurek for a 6-yard loss. On third-and-14, Claude Flaherty ran for 11 yards off of right tackle to set up a 46-yard Bo Atkins field goal attempt that thankfully fell just short of the crossbar and kept the score at 7-0.

The rest of the first quarter saw us in possession of the ball for all of 90 seconds and ended without any more scoring on either side. We began the second quarter with just our second possession of the game. This possession would prove to be a small improvement over the first one, as we only lost 3 yards before punting after another three-and-out. To make matters worse, a 28-yard Frankie Branch punt left the Cowboys sittin’ pretty at their 36.

A 46-yard dagger from Mazurek to Corbett on their first play moved them into our redzone right off the bat. Another 14-yard Corbett reception on the next play put them on our 4, and 2 plays later Flaherty pounded his way through the left side of the line and into the end zone to make it 14-0.

Our next drive went a little better, with a nice 18-yard Herb Matthews run providing the biggest gain, but ultimately penalties short-circuited the drive and Branch was called on to punt again from our 37. This time, he got a better kick off, and it sailed 46 yards to the Cowboy 17, where Cowboys’ CB Joel Flannery called for a fair catch.

The Cowboys once again were moving the ball well, and had found their way inside our 40 before an intentional grounding call set them back to the 50 and forced a punt.

Following the touchback, Berg wasted no time on our next drive, hitting free safety Greg Drayson at the Cowboy 41. Drayson returned the ball 20 yards before Earl Thornton could drag him down at our 39. Two plays later Mazurek hit Oliver Carnahan for a 39-yard touchdown right down the center of the field. 21-0, Cowboys.

Another pathetic drive for us set up a 49 yarder for Bo Atkins as we hit the 2 minute warning.

Looking for anything to give us a little momentum heading into the half, Berg moved the offense to the Dallas 19 to set up a 36-yard Hidalgo field goal attempt. As time expired, Hidalgo’s kick sailed just inside the goalpost to send us into the half down by 3 scores, 24-3. Wondering what in God’s name had just happened, we limped into the locker room with our heads spinning...

========================================

Coach Saxon and the rest of the coaching staff worked furiously on making adjustments inside a silent and sullen locker room. While they talked X’s and O’s, it seemed to me that most of the players were off in their own little private worlds. All of them looked stunned and beaten, except for ol’ Chuck Farley. He just looked pissed off.

* * *

As the halftime break wound down, the guys slowly rose up off the benches and headed toward the exit. Just as the first guy was reaching the double doors that led back out to the field, Chuck U rose up and blocked his path.

“Hold up, guys, hold up,” he said, extending one big paw like a crossing guard. “Can somebody here tell me where we’re from?”

After a moment of silence, a tentative voice from somewhere in the back said “Gatesville?”

“That’s right. We’re from Gatesville. And what’s the first rule in life when you’re from Gatesville?”

Silence.

“The first rule is that we don’t lose to the goddamn Cowboys. EVER.”

More silence.

“I said ’We don’t lose to the goddamn Cowboys!’”

This time a small murmur of agreement could be heard.

“Come on, guys! We beat these chumps 38-3 just six weeks ago – how in God’s name is it even possible that we are losing by three touchdowns to those same chumps today?!? What the hell is wrong with you guys? You all look like your damn dog just died!”

If a pin had dropped in our locker room at that moment, you would have heard it for sure.

“Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t plan on letting those pansies beat us today. So you all better get your pathetic asses in gear and start making some plays and turn this thing around! Anyone who isn’t planning on winning can just stay inside here and play with their Barbies for the next thirty minutes. You guys understand me? I’ll take your place if you aren’t man enough to go out there and get the job done yourself!”

He turned his eyes to Berg. “And you - I always hear that you have ice in your veins, man. So what’s with the freakin’ meltdown today? Start throwing the ball like you know you can, or sit your ass down on the bench and let Ondre take over. Hey, Matthews, I see you hiding back there – you’d better start running like you’ve got a pair. And all you numbnuts on the defense better start tackling like you’re a man. If I don’t see a bunch of Cowboys knocked on their asses in the second half, there’s gonna be big trouble after the game. And I’m sure as hell gonna stop dropping the damn ball when it comes my way! Cuz I don’t plan on losing to a guy who has had more facelifts than the entire Jackson Five! Your hear me?!? So either go out there and start finding a way to win or don’t even bother leaving this locker room! Now let’s go out there and kick some silver and blue asses!”

Bellowing like a constipated gorilla, Farley pulled on his helmet and led the charge back out onto the field in front of the pumped-up Texas Stadium crowd.

========================================

With the stench of the first half still hanging in the Texas air, our offense took over on the twenty following a touchback on the kickoff. Immediately, Berg went deep and found Ty Robbins down the sideline for a 46-yard strike. Not satisfied, Berg went deep again on the second play, and threaded one to Earl Thornton right between the corner and the safety for a 34-yard touchdown to cut the deficit to 24-10 with just 36 seconds elapsed in the third quarter.

Still leading by 2 touchdowns, Mazurek led the Cowboys onto the field starting from their own 20 following a touchback. On the first play, nose tackle Paul Everett broke through the line and nailed Mazurek for a 5-yard loss, but Mazurek made it up on the next play with a 16-yard pass to Cory Rheams that moved the sticks. He followed that completion with a 26-yard catch and run to flanker Gino Burroughs. Now with first-and-10 from our 43, Everett and left end Dusty Szilter combined for a 6-yard sack of Mazurek once again, setting up second-and-16 for the Cowboys. They were able to gain 9 yards of it back on a Jesse Daneke run and a Flaherty reception, but it wasn’t enough, and they were forced to punt on fourth-and-7.

A short punt set us up on our own 13, but Berg was picked off while trying to go deep once again on first down by free safety Greg Drayson. With the ball now at our 41, the Cowboys came back onto the field after only 2 plays on the sideline. An incompletion, 2 short runs, and a false start assured that the Cowboys would not take advantage of the turnover, and we got the ball back on our 16 with 8-and-a-half minutes left in the third quarter. Undaunted by his recent interception, Berg went to the air once again on first down, and found Artie Furman for a 17-yard gain before Furman scooted out of bounds. With a little more breathing room out at the 33, Berg kept the ball in the air on first and second down, but both passes fell incomplete. Facing third-and-10, Berg hit Ty Robbins across the middle for 14 yards to keep the drive alive. With the Cowboys now playing loose coverage, we went to the ground, and first-year RB Heath Patterson charged around the left end for a 17-yard pickup. The offense now really clicking, Berg hit Chuck Farley for a 16-yard gain to the Cowboy 20. From there, a 5-yard draw play by Bergeron set up Herb Matthews’ 15-yard touchdown reception that drew us to with 24-17 with 5 minutes remaining in the third quarter.

The Cowboys retook the field looking to gain back the momentum which was now firmly on our side, but three straight runs netted them only 4 yards and forced another punt late in the third.

Once again in possession of the ball on our own 30, Berg handed it off to Matthews who gained a couple yards around the left side of the line on first down. From there, he hit tight end Chuck Farley on consecutive plays for 8 yards each catch. A third pass to Farley hit the ground, but backup tight end Mitchell Horner grabbed one for 11-yards on the following play to keep the chains moving.

We began the fourth quarter with possession of the ball on the Cowboy 42, but still trailing 24-17. Matthews got the call and followed backup guard Zack Terrell around the right side for 14 yards before cornerback Joel Flannery could drag him down. A Berg draw and a Levon Wallace plunge up the middle gave us another first down and set up Ty Robbins’ 16-yard touchdown grab in the back of the end zone to tie the game up at 24-24 with 13:24 left to go in the game! In just over sixteen minutes, the Cowboy faithful had seen a commanding 21-point lead vanish into thin air.

With many a disbelieving face apparent on the Cowboys sideline, the Dallas offense trotted out onto the field, but once again our defense held them to just 8 yards on three runs. Facing fourth-and-2 from their own 40, the Cowboys’ braintrust inexplicably opted to go for the first down rather then punting the ball away. Mazurek handed the ball to Norbert Healey, but linebacker Dexter Mincy met him in the backfield for no gain, and the ball went over on downs. Great decision there, Jerry!

Brimming with confidence, Berg and the offense took the field in Cowboy territory. Matthews picked up 7 yards on first down, while Wallace gained 1 yard on second down. Trying to catch the Cowboys looking for the run, Berg winged the ball down field on third-and-2, but Joel Flannery was there to pick it off at his own 15. Damn it! A perfect opportunity shot to hell!

Their confidence obviously still shaken, the Cowboys once again took possession of the ball. Flaherty gained 3 yards off of right guard on first down, but an incompletion intended for Burroughs and a short Daneke reception on third down once again brought up fourth down. Perhaps having learned from their recent mistake, the Cowboys sent on the punting unit this time after another three-play drive.

Once again with great field position at our own 44, Berg came out looking to atone for his third interception of the day. On first down, he kept the ball himself and scrambled for 9 yards. Next, he hit Matthews in the flat for 2 yards and a first down. From there, Wallace took the ball 7 yards upfield behind center Gene Flannery. Matthews would touch the ball 4 times in the next 5 plays, with the final touch a 15-yard touchdown reception from Berg that put us on top for the first time, 31-24, with three-and-half minutes left to go in regulation.

Now on the short side of a 31-0 run, Mazurek led the Cowboy offense onto the field needing a touchdown to force the game into overtime. Starting from their own 8, they got off to a good start with a 10-yard Healey run up the middle. Following a Mazurek incompletion, Healey broke off an 18-yard run off of right tackle on second down. Now out to their 36, Mazurek dropped back and hit Burroughs in stride for 19 yards down the sideline. The clock now down to 2:23, Mazurek missed Oliver Carnahan on first down from our 45. A Flaherty run for –1 yards set up third-and-11 as we hit the two minute warning.

Needing a big play, Cowboy QB Tracy Mazurek dropped back on third-and-long, but it was right end Frankie Farley who came up big with a 6-yard sack that knocked the ball out of Mazurek’s hands and into the hands of nose tackle Paul Everett. With 1:32 left of the clock, we had regained possession of the ball with a 31-24 lead. We were going to finish off the amazing come back victory!

Looking to do nothing more than kill the clock and escape with a victory, we kept the ball on the ground and forced the Cowboys to burn all three of their time outs. Herb Matthews’ 7-yard run off of right guard for a first down was the final nail in the Cowboys’ coffin, as we were able to take a couple of knees and run out the clock. Final score, Gatesville 31, Dallas 24. With a feeling of utter elation, we jubilantly headed back into the locker room that had felt so somber just an hour earlier. By the narrowest of margins, we had moved to within one-half game of the 6-2 Cowboys in the East at 5-2. Better still, we were now 2-0 head-to-head against them, guaranteeing that we would win any tie-breakers with them should it come down to that at the end of the season. Finally, we had dealt a tremendous blow to their self-confidence.

Key Performers:

Paul Everett garnered the Game MVP with 4 tackles, 1 assist, 2.5 sacks, and a fumble recovery.

Berg by no means had his best day, but in the end, he had come through when we needed him to. Though he completed just 16 of 30 passes for 251 yards and 3 interceptions, he also threw 4 TDs, all in the second half. He also scrambled for 29 yards on 6 runs.

Matthews ran hard when we called on him to carry the ball, gaining 56 yards on 14 carries. He did the most damage through the air, catching 4 passes for 48 yards and 2 TDs, including the game winner.

The stat sheet says that Chuck Farley had a quiet day with only 4 catches for 39 yards, but those of us who were there at the half know that he single-handedly brought this team back to life with his half-time tirade.

Ty Robbins caught 3 passes for 76 yards and the game-tying TD.

Dave Sanders made 8 tackles and recorded 1 assist.

Tracy Mazurek completed 18 of 27 passes for 275 yards and 1 TD in a losing effort for the Cowboys.

Running back Norbert Healey carried the ball 19 times for 88 yards and 1 TD.

Dale Corbett caught 5 passes for 87 yards.

Strong side linebacker Bruce Leatherwood made 8 tackles and 1 assist.

Next Up: The Chiefs will pay us a visit in Week 9. For now, we are going to revel in this crucial victory! Go Gatesville! :D


Originally posted by robbgmaier:


FROM THE ESPN SPORTSDESK : Rumors abound as to what might have caused the Cowboys impossible collapse this last weekend when Gatesville rattled off 31 straight points to come back from a 24 nil deficit. At various times, we have heard of strippers, drugs, peanut butter, grape jelly, and gerbils possibly being involved in some sort of half time party arranged by Jerry Jones. We will be sure to keep working the story.


Originally posted by Kodos:

Gerbils? Were paper towel tubes also present, by any chance?!? Wait, on second thought, I don't want to know! Ewwwwwwww! :eek:

[Kodos]

Week 9

Kansas City (4-3) at Gatesville (5-2)
============================================

Attendance: 51,400 tickets were bought, but 3,600 ticket holders didn’t show.

Injury Update:

Split end Ralph Randle, still nursing a pulled groin, was active for this game, but did not start. He was put at fourth on the depth chart to get him some action, but not too much.

The Game:

We welcomed the Chiefs into town in Week 9 hoping that there would be no letdown following our thrilling come-from-behind victory at Dallas just a week earlier.

After a scoreless first quarter, and a pair of field goals in the early second quarter, the score was tied at 3-3, when left end Dusty Szilter recovered a fumble that set up a 14-yard Berg-to-Randle touchdown with just over 2 minutes left before the half that put us ahead 10-3.

Our lead increased to 17-3 in the third quarter when running back Herb Matthews caught a 3-yard touchdown pass, but Kansas City soon climbed back into the game when Alex Schroeder took Antoine Dugans’ muffed punt reception 12 yards to paydirt and made our lead less comfortable at 17-10.

With 10 minutes remaining in the fourth, Matthews got his second touchdown of the day, this one on a 33-yard pass from Bergeron, to push our lead back up to 14, 24-10. Again, the Chiefs struck back, as Tee Martin found Kelvin Gonzalez right down the middle for a 28-yard TD that made it 24-17 in our favor with 9 minutes remaining. However, all hopes for a Chief comeback were crushed when Berg hit the gimpy Ralph Randle for a 17-yard score with just 2:32 left on the clock. Final score: 31-17.

Key Performers:

Herb Matthews captured the Game MVP award for his 107 rushing yards and 1 TD on 17 carries, as well as his 4 catches for 75 yards and a TD.

Berg completed 18 of 35 for 264 yards and 3 TDs with no interceptions, but he did have one fumble.

Earl Thornton caught 5 passes for 75 yards, but Randle got more out of his 2 catches for 31 yards, both of which were touchdowns.


============================================
Washington (2-5) at Dallas (6-2)

Washington didn’t figure to give Dallas much of a fight coming in to this NFC East matchup, and they didn’t, as the Cowboys prevailed 27-3 to remain ½ game ahead of us in the East.

[Kodos]

2016 Midseason Report

Following the completion of Week 9 of the season, we found ourselves ½ game behind the Cowboys (7-2) with a 6-2 record, but we held the first tie-breaker with them, since we had swept the regular season series with them for seventh time in our ten seasons in Gatesville.

Top Performers:

Gatesville Silicon Pirates*
<pre><font face="courier">

Devin Bergeron 116/210, 1703 yards, 16 TDs, 9 Interceptions
39 carries, 194 yards
Herb Matthews 89 carries, 406 yards, 3 TDs
30 catches, 363 yards, 4 TDs
Lonnie Ruiter 15 carries, 188 yards, 3 TDs
Ty Robbins 29 catches, 522 yards, 4 TDs
Artie Furman 16 catches, 263 yards, 2 TDs
Chuck Farley 30 catches, 300 yards, 4 TDs
Sam Viola 58 tackles, 14 assists, 1 sack
Dave Sanders 42 tackles, 19 assists, 3 Interceptions
Frankie Farley 8 tackles, 8 assists, 6 sacks
</font></pre>

Dallas Cowboys**
<pre><font face="courier">

Tracy Mazurek 146/235, 1653 yards, 8 TDs, 7 Interceptions
Norbert Healey 145 carries, 624 yards, 6 TDs
Claude Flaherty 76 carries, 245 yards, 1 TD
Cory Rheams 38 catches, 470 yards, 3 TDs
Dale Corbett 35 catches, 422 yards, 3 TDs
Julio Weaver 19 catches, 143 yards, 1 TD (Chuck U laughs at these totals!)
Troy Tompkins 48 tackles, 14 assists
Bruce Leatherwood 34 tackles, 8 assists
Greg Dyson 29 tackles, 6 assists, 5 Interceptions
Winston Wayne 24 tackles, 3 assists, 7 sacks

* through 8 weeks of play
** through 9 weeks of play
</font></pre>

Next Up: The 7-1 defending Super Bowl champion Tampa Bay Bucs will be coming to Gatesville in Week 10 for what media pundits are saying could be a preview of the NFC Championship game.

[Kodos]

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Injury Report:
Andre Welch, TE - Questionable
Renaldo Apolonio, DE - Probable
Brandon Cook, CB - Probable
Barry Jamison, WR - Out
Junior Martinez, S - Out
Devin McDonald, DT - Out

Offensive Overview:

Starting Quarterback: Dwight Norris
98 for 151, 992 yards, 7 TDs, 1 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing very long passes.
Loves to run the football.

Starting Running Back: Jon Adams
87 carries for 400 yards, 4 touchdowns this season.
Excellent overall runner.

Starting Flanker: Andre Barker
30 receptions for 393 yards, 0 touchdowns this season.
Excellent go-to receiver.

Starting Split End: Ethan Hevey
33 receptions for 322 yards, 1 touchdowns this season.
Excellent go-to receiver.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Marty Card
15 tackles, 3 assists, 6.0 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive End: Renaldo Apolonio
9 tackles, 5 assists, 3.0 sacks this season.
Very good defender against the run.

Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Luther Monroe
23 tackles, 9 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Very good defender against the run.

Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Tyrell Dempsey
29 tackles, 11 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
No real strengths to speak of.

Starting Left Linebacker: Mark Dixon
32 tackles, 14 assists, 0.5 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Middle Linebacker: Marco Curtis
8 tackles, 4 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Linebacker: Harry Shields
38 tackles, 6 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Fair pass-rusher.

Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Danny Carty
26 tackles, 8 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Excellent zone pass defender.

Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Wesley Castleberry
24 tackles, 8 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Adrian Strong
36 tackles, 18 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Excellent man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Strong Safety: Antonio Stephens
5 tackles, 0 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.


Originally posted by revrew:


For the past 148 hours without stopping, Chuck Farley's famous halftime speech has been been played quietly in the background through the compound's PA system. Sometimes accompanied by the theme to "Top Gun," and sometimes resonating in the clear angry tone of NFL history's greatest tight end alone, members of the Farley fan club are committing each word to memory, prepared to recite it en masse at Farley's induction into the Hall of Fame.

Some of the children in the compound, however, are struggling. Billy Bob Yonkers was accepting his citizenship award from the local American Legion at a recent cemetery ceremony where he was supposed to recite the Gettysburg address. He said, "Four score at seven points a piece, and we'll kick the Cowboys'...." The rest of his sentence wasn't heard as several good 'ol boys in the regiment starting firing off a 21-gun salute in tribute. In their enthusiasm, the newspaper reported, it may have exceeded the traditional 21 shots. The final tally: 2 squirrels, 3 gophers, 14 sparrows, one kite, 4 gravestones, and the tire of Mercedes sedan with New York license plates were pronouced dead on site.


Originally posted by DataKing:


I would hereby like to announce the formation of the Official Frankie Branch Fan Club. Without a doubt, Frankie is the best player to come out of Kansas since the monstrous receiving talents of Isaac Byrd.

FRANKIE!
FRANKIE!
FRANKIE!

Who's with me? Come on...sound of like you've got a pair...

FRANKIE!
FRANKIE!
FRANKIE!

Hello? I can't hear you...

FRANKIE!
FRA..

Hey, where's everybody going? Frankie is the best punter EVER, I tell you...

Come back...please! Frankie needs you!

(insert sound of crickets chirping)

:D


Originally posted by Kodos:

Yikes! Sorry to hear that all of those critters had to die... At least it was for a good cause.

As for Frankie, he is quite a man. QUITE a man!


Originally posted by cthomer5000:


Originally posted by Kodos:
As for Frankie, he is quite a man. QUITE a man!


"If you really want to get out of the Army, just make a pass at your commanding officer"

"Done and done. And i mean done!"


Originally posted by Kodos:

Skinner!:D


Originally posted by cthomer5000:


I'll do that episode some real justice by providing the actual quote:

Skinner: "... How do I get out of the army?"
<font color=blue>Bart:</font> "No problemo. Just make a pass at your commanding officer."
Skinner: "Done and done. And I mean done."

classic. :)

[Kodos]

Week 10

Tampa Bay (7-1) at Gatesville (6-2)
============================================

Attendance: 53,300 tickets were purchases, but 2,500 opted to stay home and watch paint dry instead.

Injury Update:

In a bit of good news for our offensive line, starting right guard Darren Cruise was able to return from his broken ribs injury to play in this game.

The Game:

Week 10 of the 2016 season saw the defending Super Bowl champions, the 7-1, league-leading Tampa Bay Buccaneers, roll into town intent on putting us 2 games behind in the race for the home field advantage in the playoffs. These were the same Bucs who had knocked us out of the playoffs 42-12 just last January. A win against now them would really bolster our confidence heading into the stretch run.

It was a cold day by Gatesville standards (49 degrees), but certainly not cold enough for people to start thinking about Tampa Bay’s well-documented problem with cold-weather games. Tampa got the ball first, and started off on their own 33 after a decent return of the opening kickoff. Onto the field trotted running back Jon Adams, the 2014 NFL MVP and Offensive Player of the Year, and quarterback Dwight Norris, along with the rest of the potent Tampa Bay offense.

Tampa started off the drive with a 6-yard plunge by Adams off of right guard, and the Buccaneer offense was able to pick up a couple of first downs before our defense stopped them at our 46 and forced a Cary Stevens punt. The punt was a dandy, and we found ourselves pinned on our own 6 to start off the day.

Consecutive runs by fullback Levon Wallace netted us a quick 10 yards and gave us a little breathing room, but on our third play, the wind was knocked back out of us as linebacker Harry Shields picked off a Bergeron pass and took it 36 yards the other way for the score. Five minutes into the game, and we were already in a hole.

Looking to regroup, we took over the ball once more following a touchback on the kickoff. Two incompletions and a 1-yard run by Wallace forced us to punt it away for a three-and-out possession.

Thankfully, our defense did not allow the Bucs a first down on their next drive, but a 57-yard Stevens punt turned even uglier for us when the former MVP Adams hit our return man, Antoine Dugans, and forced a fumble. Looking to punish us immediately for the miscue, Norris hit split end Ethan Hevey for a 29-yard touchdown to make it 14-0 for the Bucs with 7 minutes left in the first quarter.

We caught a break near the end of the quarter when left cornerback Joel Harden punched the ball out of running back Cary Murphy’s hands and strong safety Alan Hines recovered it on the Tampa Bay 45. Bergeron and the offense started to move the ball down the field using the run and dink-and-dunk passes, until third-and-long forced us to be more aggressive. Berg threw a 21-yard strike to Ty Robbins as the second quarter began to move us to the Buccaneer 16, and from there we kept it on the ground for 4 plays in a row, the last of which was Herb Matthews’ 4-yard dash into the end zone behind left guard Rusty Pleasant to get us on the board, 14-7.

On their ensuing possession, the Bucs failed to capitalize on a 44-yard Hevey reception, as Ronald Ingoglia’s 48-yard attempt fell short of the crossbar with 11 minutes left in the first half.

We overcame an offensive holding call early in the drive with the help of a 20-yard Earl Thornton pickup across the middle, and a good mix of run and pass plays helped us to drive 62 yards in 10 plays to finish with an 8-yard Thornton touchdown reception. With 6 minutes left in the half, we had erased our 2 touchdown deficit and seized the momentum in the game.

Feeling a lot better about ourselves, Broderick Hidalgo kicked it deep to running back Deon Arnold, who returned the ball 30 yards to the 42 before rookie WR Artie Furman knocked the ball loose and recovered it 6 yards downfield. Berg and the offense came back onto the field looking to stick it to the Bucs quickly. On first down, he picked up half of the distance to the goal line with an 18-yard catch and run pass to Thornton. Berg called his own number next on a 10-yard draw that moved us to the 8. A quick hook by Robbins in the end zone turned into our third touchdown of the second quarter when Berg delivered a perfect strike, and just like that, we were on top, 21-14, with just under 5 minutes remaining until the half!

Pinned on their own 1 following a holding call on the ensuing kickoff return, and looking to change the tempo of the game, the Bucs kept to the ground with 3 consecutive runs by Jon Adams, but our defense was fired up and held him for zero gains on the first 2 plays, and just 3 yards on third down. And with that, on came the punt unit!

Stevens boomed a 62-yard punt with no return to give us the ball on our 34 with 2:40 left. Leading 21-14 with all of the momentum on our side, the offense came out looking to tear the Bucs a new one. A Matthews run and a Berg scramble took us to the 2 minute warning, and Berg found Chuck Farley deep for a 28-yard strike that advanced us to the Tampa 24 after the time out. Following 2 incompletions, Berg dumped the ball off to Matthews on third down, and Matthews broke several tackles before finally being dragged down at the Buccaneer 6. On first-and-goal, Matthews followed right tackle Terrance Read all the way into the end zone for our fourth touchdown of the quarter. In a little over 12 minutes, we had turned a 14-0 deficit into a 28-14 advantage!

We opened the third quarter with possession of the ball, and Berg promptly took the offense down the field on a 9-play, 65-yard drive that culminated in a 2-yard Berg-to-Thornton touchdown and a 35-14 lead. Later in the quarter, we would make it 42-14 on an 11-yard Matthews touchdown reception, and from there the reeling Bucs just never recovered. The final score ended up being 52-24, and, still stinging from our recent playoff ouster, we indulged ourselves a bit by reveling in the payback victory for the rest of the night. We knew in all likelihood that we would probably be facing an angry and embarrassed Bucs team later on in the playoffs, but for today at least, with a little help from Minnesota in the form of a 24-21 win over the Cowboys, we had pulled ourselves into a nice little tie with Tampa Bay for the NFC lead. In fact, our win over the Bucs gave us the first tie-breaker, so, at least for now, we were number one in the NFC, as well as the number one team in the whole league. In another pleasant result of the day’s events, we suddenly found ourselves enjoying a half game lead on those dirty ol’ Cowboys. Like Hannibal of A-Team fame, I just love it when a good plan comes together... ;)


Key Performers:

Herb Matthews earned himself the Game MVP and the Offensive Player of the Week awards with his 16 runs for 150 yards and 2 touchdowns, which he supplemented nicely with 3 catches for 36 yards and another TD.

Berg overcame his early interception by completing 20 of 37 passes for 267 yards and 4 TDs.

Earl Thornton made 5 grabs for 59 yards and 2 TDs.

Ty Robbins caught 4 passes for 70 yards and a score.

Our defense held Jon Adams to 30 yards on 8 carries, while Dwight Norris completed 12 of 19 passes for 234 yards and 2 TDs. For his part, Ethan Hevey had a great day, with 7 catches for 182 yards and 2 scores, but, as good as he was, it wasn’t nearly enough on for them on this particular day.

New Injuries:

Receiver Artie Furman sustained a sprained knee, and tackle James Pond suffered a concussion. Both should be fine in a couple weeks.


Originally posted by cthomer5000:


things are really looking good in Gatesville. You have to keep the dream of a cowboy-free Texas alive! :cool:


Originally posted by Kodos:

What a beautiful dream that is, my friend. I shall do my best to make it so... ;)

[Kodos]

Finally, the voice of the people can be heard! Vote for your favorite Silicon Pirate here! (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?threadid=4722&referrerid=1037)

[Kodos]

Week 11

Gatesville (7-2) at St. Louis (6-3)
============================================

Injury Update:

Darren Cruise’s ribs were feeling good enough for him to return to his starting duties at right guard against the Rams.

The Game:

We visited the NFC West leading Rams in Week 11, and after a slow first quarter that saw each team held to just one field goal, things started to pick up for us in the second quarter. A 17-yard Devin Bergeron-to-Ty Robbins touchdown pass and a 36-yard Broderick Hidalgo field goal sent us into the half with a decent 13-3 lead.

On the seventh play of the Rams’ opening drive of the second half, veteran QB Devin Branch found trouble in the form of free safety Dave Sanders, who picked off Branch’s pass at our 23 to put the brakes on what had been a promising drive for the Rams. The following three plays on offense were all about Herb Matthews. First, he busted through the middle of the line for a 25-yard pickup. Next, he caught a pass in the flat to pick up another 10 yards. Finally, Matthews’ brilliant 42-yard scamper finished in the end zone to give us another 6 points, but unfortunately a botched Hidalgo extra point attempt kept it a two-score game at 19-3.

Things didn’t change much throughout the rest of the third quarter. Backup strong safety Isaac Shaye picked off another errant Branch pass on the Rams’ next possession, but this time we couldn’t get any points out of it, and the rest of the third quarter passed without any more scoring.

The first play of the fourth quarter was a 30-yard touchdown pass from Branch to wide receiver Kevin Castillo, and Castillo’s catch on the ensuing 2-point conversion trimmed our advantage down to 19-11. Five minutes later, the St. Louis defense struck with a 50-yard Jared Updike touchdown return of a Devin Bergeron fumble. Thankfully, reserve defensive end Will Rison stuffed fullback Emmanuel Laney’s conversion attempt, and we were able to maintain a small 19-17 lead with 10 minutes left in the game.

Berg and the offense trotted back onto the field looking to take back some of the momentum that had clearly turned in the Rams’ favor. On the strength of a 21-yard Matthews run and a 19-yard Levon Wallace carry, the offense moved 71 yards in 7 plays, and Berg hooked up with Ty Robbins for a 5-yard score to finish the drive with just under 6 minutes left in the game. Four-and-a-half minutes later, Matthews added an insurance touchdown on a 6-yard pass from Berg, and that was all she wrote for the Rams. Final score: Gatesville 33, St. Louis 17.

Key Performers:

Herb Matthews won the Game MVP award based on his stellar 154 yards on 18 carries, which he supplemented with 9 catches for 131 yards and 2 touchdowns. All in all, it was an outstanding performance for our much-maligned running back.

For his part, Berg completed 23 of 36 passes for 353 yards and 4 touchdowns. Not too shabby! We’ll even overlook that fumble, since the rest of the game went so swimmingly.

Ty Robbins made 4 grabs for 72 yards and 2 scores.

Chuck Farley, in a performance that was overshadowed by other guys in the offensive huddle, caught 5 passes for 62 yards.

Free safety Dave Sanders recorded 7 tackles, 2 assists, and 1 key interception.

Key Injuries:

The win proved to be costly for us in terms of injuries, with the most costly injury by far being star flanker Earl Thornton’s torn rotator cuff. With one awkward landing, Thornton’s season was done, and he will not be able to return until sometime in 2017. Not good. One can only hope that he will ever be the same dominating receiver that we have known these past few seasons. Reluctantly, Thornton was placed and on the IR, and rookie WR Dale Newman was signed to bolster our suddenly depleted receiving corp.

Ralph Randle sustained a concussion and will need a couple weeks to clear his head properly.

Left guard Rusty Pleasant has a hip pointer and could miss 5 weeks.

Right end Frankie Farley has a sprained ankle (0-2 weeks) and left end Dusty Szilter broke his hand (3-5 weeks).

Strong safety Alan Hines has a broken nose, and first round pick Artie Furman is still recovering from a sprained knee. His fellow first rounder, running back Lonnie Ruiter, is still 3-5 weeks away from returning from his strained triceps injury.

Summing up, we are hurtin’ a bit right now.:(


============================================
Dallas had a bye for Week 11.

[Kodos]

Week 12

Gatesville (8-2) at Arizona (6-4)
============================================

Injury Update:

With Ralph Randle inactive for the game, Ty Robbins got to start at split end.

Artie Furman was activated despite a sprained knee and started in place of the fallen Earl Thornton at flanker.

Left guard Rusty Pleasant was inactive for this game.

The Game:

The Cardinals struck first with a 40-yard Terry Zink-to-Mack Griffith touchdown pass on their opening drive, but we struck back quickly when a 29-yard Chuck Farley reception set up an 8-yard Herb Matthews touchdown run behind James Pond midway through the quarter.

The rest of the first quarter provided little in the way of fireworks, but Berg got into the end zone on a 2-yard scramble to put us on top 14-7 early in the second quarter.

With just under 6 minutes left until the half, Zink hit running back Conrad Wyoming in the flat, and Wyoming proceeded to rumble his way 83 yards to the end zone to tie things up at 14-14.

A few minutes later, Zink went down with an injury, and Luke Birk, who we drafted in the third round back in 2014, stepped in to replace him under center. Perhaps feeling he had something to prove to us, Birk lit our secondary up for gains of 46 and 27 yards on his first two passes! Amazingly, Birk drove his team 97 yards to set up a 1-yard Tito Hartmann rushing TD that put us behind 21-14 at the half.

A 37-yard Hidalgo field goal early in the third quarter cut the Cardinals’ advantage to 4, and late in the quarter, a 35-yard Farley reception set up a 19-yard Artie Furman touchdown that gave us a 24-21 lead.

The fourth quarter saw Berg toss newly-signed rookie WR Dale Newman his first NFL reception, an 11-yard touchdown, and our lead grew to 31-21. Our secondary then got its revenge on the former Silicon Pirate Luke Birk twice, as first linebacker Kurt Robertson picked him off for a 56-yard TD, and then safety Timothy Whalen did the same for a 59-yard TD. Birk did manage to throw a second TD pass to WR Mack Griffith late in the game, but by then the game was already over. 45-26 was the final score.

Key Performers:

Berg completed 21 of 41 pass attempts for 296 yards, 2 TDs, and 0 interceptions. He also ran the ball 3 times for 15 yard and 1 TD.

Chuck Farley caught 10 passes for 142, but failed to find the end zone.

Artie Furman, despite the sprained knee, made 6 grabs for 87 yards and 1 TD.

The Game MVP award went to Kurt Robertson, our rookie third-round WOLB out of Texas, who had 5 tackles, 3 assists, and 1 interception, which he returned for a touchdown.

Key Injuries:

Left cornerback Joel Harden bruised his shoulder and will need a couple weeks to fully recover.


============================================
Green Bay (6-4) at Dallas (7-3)

Green Bay prevailed 10-3 in a low-scoring game in Dallas to drop the Cowboys to 2 full games behind us at 7-4. Great job, guys!
:)

Next Up: The 5-6 Philadelphia Eagles, who upset us 21-16 back in Week 6. Time to exact some revenge...;)

[KWhit]

I'm new to the board and just want to add my praise to this great dynasty! It's taken me 3 days to get through it all, and it's definitely been worth it.

I just LOVE to hate the Cowboys! Drive them out of Texas fast.

[Kodos]

Thanks, KWhit! Welcome aboard! Always more room in the anti-Cowboys fanclub!;)

[revrew]

10 passes for 142. That's almost half the Borg's passing yards. Kudos to Kodos' Collective!

Tell me, what TE since Shannon can just take over a game the way Farley can? Hmm? (Not that I'm biased or anything.)

And hey, do you think Jeremy Shockey might be the IRL parallel to Farley? He looks to me like he might like older women.

[Kodos]

Maybe, but Chuck U has no problem with gay men. His theory is that it just leaves more women for him.;)

P.S. - Yay! This thread finally got that highly-coveted fifth star!:D

[cthomer5000]

Originally posted by Kodos
Maybe, but Chuck U has no problem with gay men. His theory is that it just leaves more women for him.

old women, of course.;)

[Kodos]

That just goes without saying.

[Kodos]

Week 13

Philadelphia (5-6) at Gatesville (9-2)
============================================

Attendance: 53,300 bought tickets, 2,000 didn’t show up.

Injury Update:

Ralph Randle, still recovering from his concussion, was activated for the Eagles game, but he was put in only as a third receiver.

The Game:

Still annoyed that we had outsmarted ourselves and let the Eagles steal a game from us back in Week 6, the guys were flying all over the field on both sides of the ball on this particular Sunday. Chuck Farley was the man of the hour, as he pulled in not one, not two, but three touchdowns on the day! Which meant that he personally outscored the entire Eagles squad by 18 points. When all was said and done, we had crushed them 37-0. In all, we held them to just 48 yards on the ground, 50 yards through the air, and just 5 first downs for the entire game. Yep. I’d say that should do the trick as far as revenge is concerned.;)

Key Performers:

Chuck Farley caught 5 passes for 65 yards and 3 TDs. Ever notice that when Farley scores, he tends to do it in bunches?

Berg, much to the dismay of a certain segment of Pirate fans, received the Game MVP honors for his 24 of 38 passing for 331 yards, 4 TDs, and 1 pick. He also ran 8 times for 45 yards.

Ty Robbins caught 8 passes for a buck-thirteen and 1 TD.

Key Injuries:

Herb Matthews sustained a hip pointer, and could be down for 3-5 weeks.

Artie Furman aggravated his knee injury and could miss 3-5 weeks as well.

Heath Patterson, our fourth-string RB, has bruised ribs, and will require a couple weeks to heal up.


============================================
Dallas (7-4) at Oakland (5-6)

Ancient Al Davis’ team came up on the short end of an 18-13 score against the Cowboys.

[Kodos]

Week 14

Gatesville (10-2) at Washington (5-7)
============================================

Injury Update:

Herb Matthews, Lonnie Ruiter, and Artie Furman were all inactive for this game. With our top 2 backs on the inactive list, we converted talentless FB Edwin Burgess to RB and let the subpar Brant Connor start over the slightly more subpar/injured Heath Patterson.

The Game:

None of our 3 main running backs fared very well on this day, as Berg outgained each of them on the ground. Heath Patterson performed the best with 10 carries for a meager 33 yards. However, Ralph Randle was able to compensate for our less than stellar ground game, as he caught 9 passes for 142 yards and 2 touchdowns en route to our second consecutive shutout of a fellow NFC East opponent, 27-0. The Skins fared slightly better than the Eagles had fared in Week 13, but Washington still only managed 84 rushing yards, 86 passing yards, and 10 first downs.

Key Performers:

Berg got the Game MVP award by going 19 of 30 for 246 yards and 2 TDs.

Fullback Levon Wallace managed just 20 yards on 8 carries, while Brant Connor gained a paltry 29 yards on 10 carries during his first NFL start.

Chuck Farley caught 5 passes for 58 yards.


============================================
Dallas (8-4) at Philadelphia (5-7)

The Eagles, fresh off of the 37-0 drubbing of a week ago, suffered a second straight humiliating loss, this time 34-0 to the Cowboys.

The Playoff Picture:
============================================

With three games remaining in the regular season, your Silicon Pirates are sitting pretty at one game ahead of the second place Bucs, who we also own the first tie-breaker against based on our head-to-head victory over them back in Week 10. For all practical purposes, we have a two-game lead with three games left to play. Things are looking good, if we can just get this team healthy in time for the playoffs...

<pre><font face="courier">
1. Gatesville 11-2
2. Tampa Bay 10-3
3. Atlanta 9-4
4. Dallas 9-4
5. Chicago 8-5
6. Green Bay 8-5
7. San Francisco 7-6
8. Arizona 7-6
</font></pre>

[cthomer5000]

wow.

Talk about starting to come together at the right time. I may have to go back and re-read the old threads, but this seems to be the most focused group of Silicon Pirates ever!

Hopefully the last week of the season will be meaningless for you. That week and the bye week would be nice for getting half of the roster out of the infirmary.


what the hell does Chuck have to do to get a game ball around here?:mad:

[Kodos]

I knew Chuck not getting the game ball for 3 TDs would not please the masses...:p

For what it's worth, I happen to think that Chuck U's halftime speech during the Dallas game was what got this team so fired up.:) Good ol' Chuck U!

[revrew]

Uh-oh. Hope Berg doesn't have any pets.

[Kodos]

He doesn't have any left. He used to have a whole houseful...:eek:

[Kodos]

Week 15

Gatesville (11-2) at Wichita (4-9)
============================================


The Game:

Since the same strategy had worked so well for us back in our Week 6 loss to the Eagles, we decided to hold out some of our key starters against a weak opponent once again in the hope that it would help them get healthy in time for the playoffs. Thus, Herb Matthews, Lonnie Ruiter, and Artie Furman were all inactivate for our game against the downtrodden Gamblers squad.

Let me tell you right upfront, folks: This game was a yawner. The first half saw one long field goal attempt by each team, and also saw each of those attempts fail. With such an impressive offensive display from both teams, we unsurprisingly went into the half mired in a scoreless tie.

The boredom turned to pain when Berg suffered a shoe to the face (and a broken nose) early in the third quarter, and backup QB Kerry Ondre was pressed into duty. Surely, this could not help in putting an end to the offensive woes that we had witnessed thus far...

Wichita finally broke the stalemate with an 11-yard Roderick Buie-to-Tito Ackerman touchdown pass with just over 2 minutes left in the third quarter.

Things got even more exciting (really!) in the fourth quarter when a holding call in the end zone gave our defense a safety and made it a 7-2 ballgame with 11 minutes left in regulation.

With just over 4 minutes left in the game, we finally put something together on offense. Starting from our own 27, Ondre hit Ty Robbins for a 16-yard pickup, and Heath Patterson smashed through the Gamblers’ defensive line for another 12 yards on the following play. Next, backup tight end Mitchell Horner made a 10-yard grab to move us to the Gamblers’ 35 as we hit the two minute warning. An 11-yard Ralph Randle reception and a short Ondre scramble preceded a 13-yard Chuck Farley reception that moved us to the 15. Another pass to Ty Robbins moved us to the Wichita 1, and finally, with just 40 seconds remaining in the game, our offense found paydirt for the first time all day with a 1-yard toss from Ondre to the rookie Dale Newman, who we had signed when Earl Thornton went down to injury. Of course, the two-point conversion attempt failed, but the Gambler offense remained inept, and we were able to hold on for an 8-7 win.

Key Performers:

Berg completed 9 of 15 passes for 87 yards before leaving the game with a broken nose in the third quarter. He should be fine in time for the playoffs.

Kerry Ondre completed 14 of 24 pass attempts for 122 yards and 1 TD.

Heath Patterson carried the ball 3 times for 28 yards.

Ralph Randle led the receivers with 7 catches for 78 yards.

Dale Newman caught just 2 passes for 7 yards, but did catch the game winner.


============================================
Dallas (9-4) at Arizona (7-6)

The Cowboys edged the Cardinals 15-14 to stay in the thick of the playoff chase.

The Playoff Picture:
============================================


Our win, unimpressive as it was, clinched the 2016 NFC East title for us, since we had swept the Cowboys during the regular season. More importantly, it meant that just one more win would clinch the homefield advantage for us throughout the playoffs and in the Super Bowl.:D

1. Gatesville 12-2
2. Tampa Bay 11-3
3. Atlanta 9-5
4. Dallas 10-4
5. Chicago 9-5
6. Green Bay 8-6
7. San Francisco 8-6

Three other teams are tied at 7-7.

[revrew]

Clinching means big this year, for if I remember correctly, all those ticket sales from playoff games get added in. And we need all the dough we can get!

[cthomer5000]

oh man... this post-season is going to be a great one. Hopefully that 8-7 game wasn't a sign of things to come.

[Kodos]

Hopefully we can get a win against New Orleans in Week 16, clinch the homefield, and then rest all the starters for 2 weeks so that we can be as healthy as possible for the playoff run. And does anyone else see a distinct possibility that we'll face dem Cowboys in the Divisional Round (assuming they can manage a win in the Wild Card Round)?... This could be deja vu all over again!:eek: ;)

[Kodos]

Week 16

New Orleans (7-7) at Gatesville (12-2)
============================================

Attendance: 53,300 tickets were purchased; 3,600 failed to show up.

Injury Update:

Lonnie Ruiter, our first round draft pick who amassed 168 yards rushing and 3 touchdowns versus the Cowboys back in Week 2, finally returned from a triceps injury after 13 games on the inactive list. For his return, Ruiter got the starting nod, as we kept Herb Matthews inactive due to his hip pointer injury from the Philly game back in Week 13.

Artie Furman (sprained knee) was active for this game, but was only slotted to play as the third receiver.

Left guard Rusty Pleasant returned from his hip pointer to start against the Saints.

The Game:

With the chance to secure the home field advantage (along with a two-week respite) firmly in our sights, we blew out to a 17-0 halftime advantage with a 55-yard Antoine Dugans punt return for a TD and a 9-yard TD run by the newly-returned Lonnie Ruiter.

The second half saw New Orleans QB Tommy Sorota connect with Robert Sweeney for 2 touchdown passes, but Devin Bergeron’s touchdown pass to backup RB Brant Connor in the fourth quarter was enough to keep us out of harm’s way, and we coasted to an easy 27-14 victory. Having pushed our record to an impressive 13-2, and with the homefield advantage officially locked up with one week left to play in the regular season, we looked forward to a couple weeks of rest and recuperation for our starters before our first playoff game in the Divisional Round.


Key Performers:

Backup DT Jose Mason claimed the Game MVP award with his 2 tackles and 2 sacks.

Lonnie Ruiter’s return was a success, as he ran 15 times for 72 yards and 1 TD.

Berg had a quiet but solid outing, completing 20 of 38 passes for 209 yards and 1 TD. In addition, he ran the ball 8 times for 31 yards. He also fumbled the ball once.

Artie Furman caught 6 passes for 79 yards, but avoided aggravating his knee injury.

New Injuries:

Chuck Farley sprained his ankle, but it shouldn’t be an issue when we play again in 2 weeks. I’m sure some lucky old lady will be more than willing to help him nurse it back to health.;)


============================================
Carolina (4-10) at Dallas (10-4)

The Cowboys apparently got caught up thinking about the playoffs, as a putrid Carolina squad came into town and humbled the Boys 28-9!:eek: :D

The Playoff Picture:
============================================


Having claimed the first seed, there was nothing left for us to do after the game but sit back and see how the rest of the playoff field would pan out. The Bucs wrapped up the two seed with a 34-17 victory over St. Louis, while the Cowboys, by virtue of the 49ers’ loss, secured a spot in the playoffs despite their pathetic loss to the Panthers.
<pre><font face="courier">
1. Gatesville 13-2
2. Tampa Bay 12-3
3. Atlanta 10-5
4. Dallas 10-5
5. Chicago 9-6
6. Green Bay 9-6
7. Richmond 8-7
8. Arizona 8-7
9. San Francisco 8-7
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

Week 17


Gatesville (13-2) at Detroit (5-10)
============================================

The Game:

With nothing to gain, we started nothing but scrubs against the Lions, and it showed, as they scored one touchdown in each quarter to whip our reserves 28-0. And it didn’t make a bit of difference. :D


============================================
Dallas (10-5) at San Francisco (8-7)

The Cowboys kept their momentum going with a second consecutive blowout loss to finish the regular season, 34-14. Yessiree! That Jerry sure knows how to get his team fired up for a stretch run!;)

The Playoff Picture:

The Cowboys edged out the Bears for the fourth seed by virtue of a 28-19 head-to-head victory back in Week 3. Ah well, we’ve got the one seed; What do we care?!:D The Boys will play host to the Bears in the Wild Card Round. Meanwhile, we’ll be resting at home and watching ‘em on TV. See you in the playoffs, folks! Who’s hoping for a Cowboys-Pirates rumble in two weeks?!?:)

<pre><font face="courier">
1. Gatesville 13-3
2. Tampa Bay 13-3
3. Atlanta 10-6
4. Dallas 10-6
5. Chicago 10-6
6. Richmond 9-7
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

2016 Regular Season Final Standings

Here’s a look at how things looked in each conference at the end of the season.

<pre><font face="courier">

NFC East W L T Pct PF PA Div Conf
**Gatesville 13 3 0 .813 452 251 7-1-0 10-2-0
Dallas 10 6 0 .625 303 265 6-2-0 7-6-0
Arizona 9 7 0 .563 326 307 3-5-0 5-7-0
Philadelphia 6 10 0 .375 221 350 2-6-0 5-8-0
Washington 6 10 0 .375 270 336 2-6-0 4-8-0

NFC Central W L T Pct PF PA Div Conf
Tampa Bay 13 3 0 .813 350 266 7-1-0 10-2-0
Chicago 10 6 0 .625 268 254 6-2-0 7-5-0
Green Bay 9 7 0 .563 303 263 3-5-0 7-6-0
Detroit 6 10 0 .375 294 332 2-6-0 5-7-0
Minnesota 5 11 0 .313 277 349 2-6-0 4-9-0

NFC West W L T Pct PF PA Div Conf
Atlanta 10 6 0 .625 382 323 6-4-0 8-5-0
Richmond 9 7 0 .563 364 315 7-3-0 8-5-0
San Francisco 9 7 0 .563 324 295 5-5-0 7-6-0
New Orleans 7 9 0 .438 264 329 7-3-0 7-6-0
St. Louis 6 10 0 .375 284 396 3-7-0 4-9-0
Carolina 5 11 0 .313 278 339 2-8-0 3-10-0




AFC East W L T Pct PF PA Div Conf
Indianapolis 11 5 0 .688 363 227 8-2-0 10-3-0
New York 9 7 0 .563 248 278 5-5-0 6-7-0
Des Moines 8 8 0 .500 316 287 5-5-0 7-6-0
Buffalo 8 8 0 .500 307 289 6-4-0 7-6-0
New England 7 9 0 .438 279 334 5-5-0 6-7-0
Miami 3 13 0 .188 251 382 1-9-0 1-12-0

AFC Central W L T Pct PF PA Div Conf
Cleveland 11 5 0 .688 364 276 8-2-0 10-3-0
Pittsburgh 10 6 0 .625 284 257 6-4-0 9-4-0
Jacksonville 10 6 0 .625 329 281 6-4-0 8-5-0
Cincinnati 9 7 0 .563 304 294 5-5-0 7-6-0
Baltimore 7 9 0 .438 357 335 3-7-0 5-8-0
Tennessee 3 13 0 .188 256 361 2-8-0 3-10-0

AFC West W L T Pct PF PA Div Conf
San Diego 9 7 0 .563 337 286 7-3-0 8-5-0
Seattle 8 8 0 .500 278 281 6-4-0 7-6-0
Kansas City 8 8 0 .500 397 336 4-6-0 6-7-0
Denver 7 9 0 .438 354 353 4-6-0 6-7-0
Oakland 6 10 0 .375 273 314 4-6-0 6-7-0
Wichita 5 11 0 .313 233 349 5-5-0 5-8-0
</font></pre>

Next Up: The Wild Card Round! Dare I say... go Cowboys?:confused:

[cthomer5000]

Bring Em on! I want another Cowboy blowout, and then some revenge against Tampa!

[Kodos]

It's good to see that we're on the same page...:)

[Qwikshot]

Defeat those dastardly cowboys!!!

[DataKing]

Pound the cowpokes to dust, Kodos! You know I'm with ya!

[Kodos]

The 2016 NFL Playoffs

Wild Card Round

Here’s what happened on Wild Card weekend.

AFC:

On the AFC side of things, the Bengals pulled off an upset of the AFC West Champion San Diego Chargers, while the Steelers topped the Jaguars to advance in the Sunday game. The Steelers will face the second-seeded 11-5 Cleveland Browns, while the Cinderella Bengals will travel a little bit north and a little bit west to Indianapolis to take on the top-seeded 11-5 Colts.
<pre><font face="courier">
6 Cincinnati (9-7) 20
3 San Diego (9-7) 10
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
5 Jacksonville (10-6) 15
4 Pittsburgh (10-6) 23
</font></pre>
NFC

The NFC West Champion Atlanta Falcons easily outdistanced the visiting Wranglers to advance on the first day of Wild Card Weekend, while the Cowboys whipped the Bears on Sunday night to earn themselves an invitation face us in the Divisional Round. Looks like we have another opportunity to humiliate them Cowboys, folks! Bring your best, Jerry! It’s about time for another ass-kickin’! :D
<pre><font face="courier">
6 Richmond (9-7) 24
3 Atlanta (10-6) 37
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
5 Chicago (10-6) 14
4 Dallas (10-6) 28
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Dallas Cowboys

Injury Report:

Awwww. Looks like the Cowboys are a little bit dinged up! I hope that doesn’t hurt their performance next weekend... :D
Daniel Moss, TE - Questionable
Oliver Carnahan, WR - Out
Xavier Sanford, G - Out
Sean Ross, DT - Out
Julio Weaver, TE - Doubtful
Leonard Humphries, FB - Doubtful
Cary Rheams, WR - Probable
Jesse Daneke, FB - Questionable
Paul McElroy, WR - Doubtful
Alonzo Holmes, DE - Questionable
Rich Peterson, DT - Out
Harvey Casillas, S - Probable

Offensive Overview:

Starting Quarterback: Tracy Mazurek
265 for 452, 2979 yards, 14 TDs, 13 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing short passes.

Starting Running Back: Norbert Healey
234 carries for 1079 yards, 9 touchdowns this season.
Very good overall runner.

Starting Flanker: Gino Burroughs
59 receptions for 623 yards, 3 touchdowns this season.
Good hands.

Starting Split End: Dale Corbett
63 receptions for 807 yards, 6 touchdowns this season.
Good go-to receiver.

Very good overall run blocking, anchored by LT Ethan Thornhill
Very good overall pass blocking, anchored by LG Michael Robertson

Likes to use the I formation and the Weak formation in running situations.
Likes to use the Single-Back formation and the Shotgun formation in passing situx
ations.

Tendencies on offense:
First and Ten: Run much more than average
Second and Long: Run more than average
Second and Short: Run much more than average
Third and Short: Run more than average

Tends to run behind the right guard more than most teams.
Tends to throw short passes more than most teams.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Winston Wayne
42 tackles, 9 assists, 10.5 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive End: Marlon Linquist
31 tackles, 12 assists, 11.0 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Kerry Grasso
20 tackles, 6 assists, 2.5 sacks this season.
Good defender against the run.

Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Sean Ross
4 tackles, 0 assists, 0.5 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Weak-Side Linebacker: Jamal McElroy
58 tackles, 17 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Very good man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Middle Linebacker: Troy Tompkins
101 tackles, 30 assists, 3.0 sacks this season.
Excellent pass-rusher.

Starting Strong-Side Linebacker: Bruce Leatherwood
71 tackles, 13 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Fair defender against the run.

Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Joel Flannery
45 tackles, 20 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good zone pass defender.

Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Jerome McCarthy
41 tackles, 10 assists, 3 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Greg Drayson
60 tackles, 18 assists, 7 interceptions this season.
Excellent man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Strong Safety: Shawn Treadway
49 tackles, 7 assists, 1 interceptions this season.
Good pass intercepter.

Tendencies on Defense:
Uses both a 4-3 and a 3-4 front.
Tends to use 2-deep zone pass coverage more than most teams.
Tends to blitz much less than most teams.

[Fonzie]

Give 'em hell Kodos! :D

[CAsterling]

Its good to read about Berg and Farley again, I missed those guys.....only one question why is this kid the backup QB rather than that talented veteran Dana Alston :confused:

[Kodos]

That's a good question. I guess Ondre did better in the preseason, so I made him number 2, even though Alston is slightly better rated. Ah well - hopefully neither backup will see any playing time the rest of the year.:)

[CK#12]

I've been away from the board a long time but it's great to see that you are still writing as well as ever Kodos.

Loving the story as always.

[Kodos]

Thanks, CK! I'll try to have the Dallas game up today or tomorrow. :)

[Kodos]

The 2016 NFL Playoffs

Divisional Round

Here’s how things went down in the three games preceding our showdown with the Cowboys.

AFC:

The Cinderella Bengals team continued their improbable march to the Super Bowl by upsetting the top-seeded Colts, 31-28. In other news, Four Horsemen were spotted in downtown Indianapolis shortly after the game. :eek: The underdog Steelers did not fare as well, as they were easily dispatched by the Browns, 33-6.
<pre><font face="courier">
6 Cincinnati (10-7) 31
1 Indianapolis (11-5) 28
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
4 Pittsburgh (11-6) 6
2 Cleveland (11-5) 33
</font></pre>
NFC:

On our side of the bracket, the Buccaneers crushed the Falcons as expected, then sat back and waited to see the results of our Sunday night game versus the Cowboys.
<pre><font face="courier">
3 Atlanta (11-6) 14
2 Tampa Bay (13-3) 37
</font></pre>

[revrew]

Kodos, it's been an hour since you last edited that post. C'mon, man! What you tryin to do to a guy? WHAT HAPPENED AGAINST DALLAS????

[Kodos]

But Captain! I'm working as fast as I can! You can't expect miracles!

[cthomer5000]

man, you really keep us hanging.

[Kodos]

The 2016 NFL Playoffs

Divisional Round

#4 Dallas (11-6) at #1 Gatesville (13-3)

Attendance: 53,300 were on hand to witness our playoff showdown with our intrastate rivals, the Cowboys. In an unusual occurrence, there weren’t any no-shows.

Injury Update:

Following 2 weeks of much-needed downtime, we found ourselves in good shape injury-wise coming into the game against the Cowboys. Outside of flanker Earl Thornton, who was on IR, and left end Dusty Szilter, who was still healing from a broken hand (but would play anyway), there were no significant injuries for us. The Cowboys, on the other hand, looked like they needed a M*A*S*H unit. :D

The Game:

The Cowboys and the Silicon Pirates had only met once in playoff history before this game. Back in 2014, the Cowboys had upset the top-seeded Tampa Bay Buccaneers to advance to the NFC Championship Game and face us at home in Gatesville. We spanked ‘em by the score of 42-10 en route to a second consecutive Super Bowl title. Now, 2 years later, the ‘boys were coming to town once again. Would history repeat itself, or would Jerry Jones and his Cowboys finally get some revenge?

It was a miserable, gray, rainy day in Gatesville as game time approached. We won the toss and opted to receive. Following a touchback, Berg and the offense took to the field, and two consecutive Berg draws netted us a quick first down. On the third play, Berg sent the ball soaring down field, and Ralph Randle was there to pull it in for a 40-yard pickup that moved us to the Cowboy 28. One drop and two off-target passes stalled our momentum, and we were forced to settle for a 45-yard Broderick Hidalgo field goal attempt. Sadly, Hidalgo’s plant-foot slipped in the mud, and the ball sailed wide right, giving the Cowboys possession on their 35 with the score still 0-0.

On first down, Dusty Szilter, broken hand and all, crushed fullback Jesse Daneke on his way to sacking Tracy Mazurek for a 7-yard loss. Mazurek fumbled, but tackle Ethan Thornhill was there to fall on it for the Cowboys. On second-and-17, defensive end Will Rison knocked center Marlon Mercer on his fat ass and took Mazurek down for a 6-yard loss. Facing third-and-23, Mazurek tried to hit Gino Burroughs, but the pass fell incomplete, and on came Artie Rasmussen and the Cowboys’ punting unit.

On our second possession, we fared somewhat better than the Cowboys had on the preceding drive, as we only lost 2 yards on our way to a three-and-out.

Will Rison struck again on the first play of the Cowboys’ second drive, as he tipped Mazurek’s pass to himself and rumbled 17 yards for a touchdown to make it 7-0, Gatesville!

The Cowboys managed to get things going a bit on their third drive, picking up 21 yards in 7 plays before being forced to punt again.

Undrafted rookie receiver Dale Newman dropped 2 passes in a row on our ensuing drive, which led to another three-and-out for our usually potent offense. Cowboy running back Colin Schwartz muffed the catch on the punt, but linebacker Deron Nobile was there to fall on it for the Cowboys and avert further disaster.

Two plays later, the Cowboys would not be so lucky. Linebacker Dexter Mincy and safety Timothy Whalen reached Mazurek in the backfield at the same time, knocking the ball loose. This time, Whalen scooped the ball up and scrambled his way 9 yards to the Cowboy 28.

Following an incomplete pass on first down, Herb Matthews darted around the left side of the line behind left guard Rusty Pleasant for 13 yards and a first down. Berg then picked up 7 more yards on a draw before Bruce Leatherwood dragged him down. Two plays later, Chuck Farley caught a pass over the middle and plowed over strong safety Shawn Treadway for a 7-yard touchdown! Once again, the soggy field came into play on the kick, as Hidalgo missed the extra point to leave the score at 13-0.

Looking to stop the bleeding, the Cowboys offense took the field after a 37-yard kickoff return by Schwartz that had them starting off from their own 42. Mazurek tried to be like Berg on first down, but his draw play netted just 2 yards. Daneke’s 6-yard gain on second down was negated by a holding call on third down, and Rasmussen was called into service once more.

Starting from our 16, Berg threw an ill-advised pass that was picked off by cornerback Howard McHenry at our 35 and returned to our 18. Trailing 13-0 late in the first quarter, this was the Cowboys’ chance to climb back into the game. On first down, running back Norbert Healey tried one up the middle, but gained minimal yardage before Mincy dragged him down. Second down saw Mazurek sacked again, this time by the combo of Rison and reserve linebacker Norbert Holmes. Facing third-and-13 from our 21, Mazurek, under intense pressure, dumped the ball off to receiver Dale Corbett, who netted only 5 yards before all-pro corner Joel Harden dragged him down. On came Bo Atkins for a 33-yard field goal that split the uprights and cut our lead to 13-3.

We began the second quarter with decent field position, and Newman redeemed himself a bit on the second play with a 31-yard reception down the sideline. An 8-yard Matthews run and a couple of Randle receptions soon moved us well into Cowboy territory, and on the ninth play of the drive, Chuck Farley caught his second touchdown pass of the day, this one an 8-yarder that capped a 72-yard drive and put us up 20-3 with 10 minutes left until the half.

Needing to answer our scoring drive, the Cowboys put together their second sustained drive of the day. Starting from their 26, they moved 28 yards in 10 plays before our defense stiffened and forced a punt.

Despite their recent success, our offense didn’t do much with the ball this time, and it was another quick three-and-out. Dallas, apparently not wanting to show us up, followed suit quickly.

Rasmussen’s punt pinned us on our own 13, and things got worse when fullback Levon Wallace was stuffed by linebacker Steve Binn for a 3-yard loss on first down. Second down saw Berg throw a bullet over the middle to Newman, who gained 25-yards to get us out of trouble. Berg found Newman again on the next play, this time for 37 yards, and just like that, we were on the Cowboy 28! As we hit the two-minute warning, Berg finished off the 4-play, 87-yard drive with a 28-yard touchdown strike to Artie Furman. This time, the extra point was good, and we led 27-3! Straining to see through the rain from across the field, I watched Jones pacing the Cowboys’ sideline. He was trying to look calm, but I just knew that he had to be fuming inside. His team was staring eyeball to eyeball with elimination, and he damn well knew it.

Two plays later, Jones would have another reason to fume. Mazurek, looking to get something going for the Cowboys before the half, lobbed a pass deep downfield to Dale Corbett, but Harden broke on his pass and took it 7 yards the other way to our 42. On the very next play, Berg hit a streaking Artie Furman, who ducked and dodged and sprinted his way to paydirt from 58 yards out for his second score of the day. 34-3! The rout was on! When the gun sounded at halftime, we had held the Cowboys' offense to just 4 first downs, 43 rushing yards, and -13 passing yards. The stunned-bunny looks on their faces brought new meaning to the word "priceless" as they limped into the half with another thirty minutes of misery to look forward to.

The second half started much like the first half had ended, with Joel Harden intercepting a deep pass on the Cowboy’s first play. We didn’t capitalize with a score, but that didn’t hurt too much sitting on a 34-3 lead.

Halfway through the third, Herb Matthews finished off a drive that started on the Cowboy 45 with a 4-yard plunge off of left tackle. Five minutes later, backup QB Dana Alston would hit backup tight end Mitchell Horner for a 10-yard TD that made it 48-3.

With two-and-a-half minutes left in their season, the Cowboys finally found the end zone with a 3-yard touchdown pass from Roosevelt Murray to Marty Clark, but it didn’t matter. Hidalgo tacked on a meaningless 50-yard field goal soon after to close out the scoring. When all was said and done, we had triumphed and sent the Cowboys back to Dallas reeling from a devastating 51-10 defeat. Enjoy thinking about this game all offseason, Jerry! Those 11 passing yards you got for the game were quite impressive. :)

Key Performers:

Berg completed 14 of 26 attempts for 289 yards, 4 TDs, and 1 interception before leaving the game midway through the third quarter.

Dana Alston went 6 for 9 for 68 yards and 1 TD in relief of Bergeron.

Herb Matthews had a bad day rushing, as he gained only 25 yards on 9 carries. He did score one TD though.

Dale Newman had a monster game, catching 7 passes for 146 yards.

Artie Furman made the most of his 4 catches by gaining 106 yards and scoring twice.

Chuck Farley caught 3 passes for 24 yards and 2 touchdowns.

Ralph Randle caught 6 passes for 93 yards.

Joel Harden picked off the Game MVP award with 16 tackles, 1 assist, and 2 backbreaking interceptions. His 16 tackles was a playoff record.

Backup defensive end Will Rison recorded 1.5 sacks, 1 tackle, and 1 interception, which he returned for a score.

Cowboy’s QB Tracy Mazurek had a banner day, completing 2 of 16 attempts for 11 yards, 0 TDs, and 3 picks.

Sixteen-year veteran QB Roosevelt Murray, in relief of the painfully inept Mazurek, hit on 3 of 5 passes for 31 yards and 1 TD.

New Injuries:

Left guard Rusty Pleasant sustained a bruised sternum, and will be out for the Tampa Bay game. :(

Al Ingram sprained his ankle, but should be able to play next week.

Backup safety Timothy Whalen suffered a hip pointer and will be out next week as well.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty good about our chances. BRING ON THE BUCS! WHO'S UP FOR SOME REVENGE?!? :mad:

[Kodos]

P.S. - Sorry for the long delay, guys. I've just been too busy recently to write this thing up. Hopefully the result was worth the wait. :)

[DataKing]

You say that Jones was standing on the sidelines during the game? Isn't that old bastard in a wheelchair by now?

Great job Kodos! No matter what happens from here on out, it was a successful season in my book.

[cthomer5000]

Chuck U!!!!

this game is going to be awesome! take down those damned Buccaneers, and return Gatesville to glory!

[Kodos]

Ya know, I don't think there is a team out there that we have fared better against than the Cowboys. :) Jones is still in pretty good shape for an old man, but the same can't be said for his face. Too much pulling and tucking and botoxing has made him the new Michael Jackson.

Tampa will be tough, but we seem to be playing well at the moment. I am cautiously optimistic.

[Kodos]

Who will win the NFC Championship? (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?threadid=5410&referrerid=1037) :confused:

[Kodos]

The 2016 NFL Playoffs

Conference Championship Round

AFC:

The Bengals’ Cinderella story ended on a snowy winter day in Cleveland, as the two seed edged the six seed to advance to the Super Bowl.

</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
6 Cincinnati (11-7) 17
2 Cleveland (11-5) 20
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos
Subject: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Injury Report:
Luther Monroe, DT - Doubtful
Fernando Uzzell, RB - Questionable
Shawn Spoljaric, WR - Questionable
Jon Adams, RB - Questionable
Barry Jamison, WR - Doubtful
Junior Martinez, S - Out
Devin McDonald, DT - Out
Jamal Hollas, WR - Out
Tyrell Dempsey, DT - Probable

Offensive Overview:

Starting Quarterback: Dwight Norris
194 for 300, 2131 yards, 16 TDs, 5 interceptions this season.
Excellent at throwing very long passes.
Loves to run the football.

Starting Running Back: Jon Adams
200 carries for 746 yards, 6 touchdowns this season.
Excellent overall runner.
No relation to Ryan, Bryan, or Samuel Adams.

Starting Flanker: Andre Barker
62 receptions for 888 yards, 1 touchdowns this season.
Excellent go-to receiver.

Starting Split End: Ethan Hevey
57 receptions for 751 yards, 3 touchdowns this season.
Excellent go-to receiver.

Very good overall run blocking, anchored by LG Winfred Clark
Very good overall pass blocking, anchored by C Eddie Carpenter

Likes to use the I formation and the Strong formation in running situations.
Likes to use the Single-Back formation and the Shotgun formation in passing situations.

Tendencies on offense:
First and Ten: Run more than average
Second and Long: Run more than average
Second and Short: Run much more than average
Third and Short: Run more than average

Tends to run behind the left guard far more than most teams.

Tends to throw screen passes more than most teams.

Defensive Overview:

Starting Left Defensive End: Marty Card
23 tackles, 7 assists, 10.0 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Defensive End: Renaldo Apolonio
25 tackles, 12 assists, 7.5 sacks this season.
Very good defender against the run.

Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Luther Monroe
38 tackles, 15 assists, 2.5 sacks this season.
Very good defender against the run.

Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Tyrell Dempsey
38 tackles, 15 assists, 2.5 sacks this season.
No real strengths to speak of.

Starting Left Linebacker: Mark Dixon
66 tackles, 24 assists, 3.0 sacks this season.
Very good pass-rusher.

Starting Middle Linebacker: Marco Curtis
52 tackles, 19 assists, 1.0 sacks this season.
Good pass-rusher.

Starting Right Linebacker: Harry Shields
69 tackles, 12 assists, 0.0 sacks this season.
Fair pass-rusher.

Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Danny Carty
46 tackles, 15 assists, 5 interceptions this season.
Excellent zone pass defender.

Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Wesley Castleberry
38 tackles, 10 assists, 2 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Starting Free Safety: Adrian Strong
70 tackles, 25 assists, 6 interceptions this season.
Excellent man-to-man pass defender.

Starting Strong Safety: Antonio Stephens
32 tackles, 6 assists, 6 interceptions this season.
Very good pass intercepter.

Tendencies on Defense:
Exclusively uses a 4-3 front.
Tends to use bump and run pass coverage more than most teams.

[Kodos]

The 2016 NFL Playoffs

NFC Championship Game

Tampa Bay (14-3) at Gatesville (14-3)
============================================

Attendance: Once again, 53,300 bought tickets, and once again, all 53,300 showed up for the game. As I watched the fans pass through the turnstiles, my eye lit up with visions of dancing dollar signs. If we could get to the Super Bowl, it could be a nice little economic boost for me.

Injury Update:

Veteran tackle James Pond replaced the injured Rusty Pleasant at left guard.

The Game:

Next to our very own Silicon Pirates, the Buccaneers have clearly been the second most dominant team in the NFL over the past 5 seasons. Armed with the one-two punch of the crafty veteran QB Dwight Norris, and the powerful running back Jon Adams, the Buccaneer offense has been creating nightmares for opposing coaches for years. Exactly one year ago, the Bucs played host to us in the NFC championship game, and they unceremoniously ejected us from the playoffs with a 42-12 ass-kicking that still stings when I think about it to this day. A scant ten weeks ago, we returned the favor a little with a 52-24 pummeling of the Bucs on our home turf. Now, with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line, the Buccaneers were coming to town with their dream of back-to-back championships held close to their hearts. Nobody in the press was predicting a blowout this time around, although many folks in the media and on talk radio were already anointing whoever might come out on top in the game as this season's Super Bowl champions. Here in Gatesville, we did our best to ignore all of the hype, and set ourselves to the task of preparing for Norris, Adams, et al.

Gametime saw us with decent weather for January, with the temperature hovering right around 50 as nightfall approached. We won the coin toss, and elected to receive the ball first. KR Scott Cooley made a good return out to the 33 after fielding the ball at our 5. The offense trotted out on the field looking to set the tone of the game right from the outset. Berg came out firing, and found Matthews in the flat for a 14-yard pickup. Next, Berg hit Chuck Farley, who smashed through several defenders on his way to a 21-yard gain. Two plays, 35 yards. Not too bad a start. Perhaps we lost our concentration for a minute, because we committed a false start, and then had an ineligible man downfield penalty, which quickly had us facing first-and-20. Berg, obviously pissed off at the needless gaffes, let the guilty parties know in no uncertain terms that they needed to get their heads back in the game. Looking to get it all back at once, Berg took a five-step drop, and heaved it toward the end zone, where Ralph Randle had his man beaten by a step for a 42-yard touchdown. With that, it was a 7-0 Pirates lead not even 2 minutes into the game!

Following a touchback, Dwight Norris and the Buccaneer offense jogged onto the field looking to answer our scoring drive. On first down, Jon Adams tried the left side of the line, but it was nothin’ doin’ as SOLB Terrance Fuller dragged him down three yards short of the line of scrimmage. After a short gain on a Norris draw the on the follow-up play, Norris hit split end Ethan Hevey on the sideline, and Hevey picked up 13 yards and a first down before finally being shoved out of bounds by Joel Harden. After 2 passes that netted 14 yards, Adams got another chance to move the ball on the ground, and this time he danced around the left side of the line and wove his way through the secondary for a 31-yard gain that advanced the Bucs to our 23. After that, two short gains brought up third-and-4 and a chance for our defense to force a field goal attempt, but Norris hit his tight end Andre Welch for 10 yards. The next play, running back Cary Murphy plunged right through the middle of the line for the remaining 7 yards and dove into the end zone to tie the game at 7-7.

An ill-advised decision to return Ronald Ingoglia’s kickoff by Cooley forced us to start our second drive from our own 12. Unfazed, Berg hit Herb Matthews across the middle, and Matthews busted his way for 26 yards before linebacker T.J. Izzo could make the tackle. Berg, sensing that Matthews had the hot hand, found him again on the next play, this time for a 33-yard reception. Perhaps a bit overconfident about Matthews’ continued success, Berg tried to go to the well again, but this time cornerback Les Feeney was all over Matthews and knocked the ball to the ground. Second down saw Berg drop back once again, but this time he worked through his progression and found Chuck Farley for an 8-yard gain. Now facing third-and-short, Berg just shoveled it to Matthews, who moved the chains with a 5-yard gain that brought us to the Buccaneer 21. From there, two Matthews runs and a Berg draw gave us another first down on the 11, and from there, rookie running back Lonnie Ruiter took it the rest of the way to the end zone. Once again, we were out in front, this time with a 14-7 lead.

Undaunted by the fact that we now had 2 touchdowns to show for our 2 possessions, Norris and the Bucs’ offense took possession of the starting from their 18 following the kickoff return. Taking over 7 minutes off of the clock, Tampa marched with great patience and confidence down the field for 79 yards in 16 plays to find themselves with a first-and-goal from our 3. To nobody’s surprise, the Bucs stuck to the ground. Running back Cary Murphy tried to make it around the right end of the line, but linebacker Dexter Mincy was there to stop him after a short gain. On second down, they gave the pill to Adams, but he must not have liked the taste of it, because he coughed the ball up when linebacker Norbert Holmes hit him. Unfortunately, right guard Kim Reilly was there to fall on it on the 2 yard line to save Tampa Bay’s drive. On third-and-goal from the 2, the Bucs gave it right back to Adams, and this time he rewarded their faith in him with a 2-yard run around the left end to tie the game back up, 14-14. If the home crowd hadn’t figured it out just yet, it was no clear that we were in for a shootout today. So far there had been four possessions in the game, and so far, there had been four touchdowns recorded.

Scott Cooley made some good moves on the return to set us up on our own 36. Once again, we got right to work with a big gainer, as Matthews sprinted around the left end and made his way into the secondary for 21 yards. Our next play didn’t go nearly as well. Matthews tried to go around the right end, but defensive end Renaldo Apolonio was there to stuff him in the backfield for a 5-yard loss. A false start turned second-and-15 into second-and-20, and a short Matthews run and a short gain on second down and a short Berg draw on third down resulted in the first punt of the game.

Frankie Branch’s punt pinned the Bucs on their 11, and our defense was able to force them to punt it back to us after holding Dwight and company to only one first down.

Following Cooley’s punt return, we started with good field position on our 31, and Matthews ran right at the heart of their defense on first down for a 9-yard gain. Next, Berg connected with Farley over the middle for 17 more yards. Once again in the Buccaneer territory, Berg kept the ball in the air with an 18-yard out to Ty Robbins. Soon we moved inside the Bucs’ 20 when Berg hit Artie Furman for an 8-yard gain on third-and-eight to keep the drive alive. From the Tampa Bay 13, Berg threw some major heat in the direction of Ralph Randle, and Randle’s hands proved to be soft enough to bring in the pass for our third touchdown of the day. Broderick Hidalgo’s kick attempt was good, and we once again were enjoying a 7-point lead, 21-14, with 1:30 remaining until the half.

Tampa Bay got the ball back with 1:23 left and with 80-yards separating them from our goal line. Norris hit Hevey on first down, but only for 7 yards. Next, Adams ran behind his left guard for a couple more yards. With just 6 seconds left, the Bucs handed it to Adams again. Before we knew it, Adams was through the line and into the secondary, but Joel Harden was there to eventually knock him out of bounds and bring and end to the first half.

Trailing 21-14, the Bucs got the first crack at the ball in the second half. A defensive holding call gave them 5 yards right off the bat, and after that, 2 runs netted them 4 more yards. Facing third-and-1, they tried to surprise us with a play-action pass, but Norris’s pass fell a couple yards short of the outreached hands of tight end Andre Welch. On came the punting unit.

A shanked Cary Stevens punt appeared to be a gift for us, but punt returner Scott Cooley tried to run before he had the ball, and WR Andre Barker was there to recover it for the Bucs. Damn it! A Norris pass to third wide receiver Shawn Spoljaric on second down went for 18 yards, and Cary Murphy broke through the middle for another 16 on the Bucs’ next play. To make things worse, an unnecessary roughness call set the Bucs up with first-and-goal on our 4. We stopped Murphy for no gain on first down, but he came back and gained 3 yards on second down. Once again the Bucs chose to pass when facing third-and-1, and once again, Norris’s ball failed to find its target. With that, the defense was able to get off the field having only surrendered a field goal, which in this game amounted to a major coup. Ingoglia’s 18 yarder trimmed our lead to 21-17.

Looking for some redemption following the muffed punt return, Cooley broke off a 40 yarder, but it was called back on an illegal block, which spotted the ball way back at our 12. A 2-yard loss by Wallace on first down set us back even further, but center Gene Flannery sprung Matthews for an 8-yard gain on the following play to give our offense some breathing room. Facing third-and-4, Berg called his own number, and scrambled for 6 yards and a first down. Next, a 4-yard sack put us in a hole once again, and our next two plays only picked up 12 yards when we needed 14. On came Branch and the punting unit.

Branch’s punt died quickly and only went for 37-yards, so the Bucs found themselves with an opportunity to go ahead starting from our 37. After a short run on first down, Norris threw one to the flanker Andre Barker for 17 yards to move the Bucs across midfield. However, a short loss on a Murphy run and 2 incompletions meant that we had dodged the bullet, and Cary Stevens came out to punt it once again.

Scott Cooley, who was clearly having an off game, made another poor decision when he fielded Stevens’ punt at our 3 yard line. To make things worse, a holding call moved the ball back to the 2. Slowly but surely, we were losing the field position battle. Looking for nothing more than to get out of the shadow of our own goal post, Berg handed it to Matthews on first down, who gained 6 yards off right tackle. On second down, Matthews ran it to the right again, this time busting loose for 17 yards. From there, a short Matthews run, an incompletion, and a delay of game penalty set us up with third-and-14 on our 21. With an aura of cool determination, Berg looked off the free safety and then threaded the needle to Artie Furman out of the slot for a 29-yard gain. With the offense in a rhythm once again, Berg rattled off another three straight completions to move us to the Buccaneer 33 at the end of the third quarter.

A 2-yard loss by Herb Matthews at the start of the fourth quarter threatened to stall our momentum, but Berg scrambled his way to an 8-yard gain on the next play to bring up third-and-4 on the Buccaneer 27. Before the Bucs could even think of sacking him, Berg fired a bullet to Ralph Randle for a 17 yard gain. On first-and-goal from the 10, rookie running back Lonnie Ruiter followed fullback Levon Wallace all the way to the end zone to make it 28-17 in favor of the hometown Silicon Pirates. Now with a two-score lead, just 13 minutes were standing between us and our fourth trip to the Super Bowl in five years.

The stout-hearted Bucs were far from ready to surrender despite our lead, and free safety Adrian Strong returned Hidalgo’s ensuing kickoff 38 yards to their 40. On first down, Cary Murphy ran around the left end for 10 yards. However, a holding call on the next play sent them back to their own 40. Down 11 and facing first-and-20, the Bucs inexplicably opted to keep it on the ground, and Murphy managed only a 1-yard gain before defensive end Will Rison wrapped him up. On second down, Norris improvised a run, but it only went for 3 yards, setting up third-and-16. Needing a big play, the Bucs tried to catch us off guard with a screen pass to Ethan Hevey, but Joel Harden was there to tackle Hevey after just a 2-yard gain. An offsides call on the punt only hurt us a little, as the Bucs’ still found themselves facing fourth-and-nine. Cary Stevens’ punt gave possession of the ball back to us with an 11-point lead and just over 10 minutes remaining in the game.

Looking to kill some time off of the clock, Berg handed it to Matthews on first down, but Matthews managed only a short gain up the middle. Following another short run by Matthews on second down, Berg hit Dale Newman for 10 yards on a curl pattern to convert third-and-7 and keep the clock moving. We went back to Matthews on first down, and just as before, he managed only a minimal gain against a defense that was obviously looking for the run. Looking to loosen them up a bit, Berg hit fullback Levon Wallace, who was uncovered in the flat, for 10 yards and a first down. Still unconvinced that the Bucs were honoring the pass, Berg went up top to Ralph Randle for a 28-yard gain. All the while, the clock, our new best friend, was busily ticking away the Bucs’ chances. Well, not really - digital clocks don’t actually tick, of course - but you get the idea. With 6:40 left in regulation, we gave the ball back to Herb Matthews, but again he failed to pick up much of anything. Deciding to go to the pass once again since the Bucs were still stacking it up against the run, Berg hit Matthews out of the backfield for an 11-yard gain and another first down. Tick-tick-tick! Tick-tick-tick! By this point in the drive, our offense had executed eight plays, and at no point had the clock stopped moving toward triple zeros. That trend continued with our next play, as Matthews found daylight in the middle of the line and plunged himself through it for a 6-yard gain. On the following play, we took a 3-yard loss by Lonnie Ruiter, but we watched with great pleasure as the clock moved under the 5 minute mark. Finally, after 5 minutes of non-stop progress, the clock was stopped at 4:48 due to an offensive holding call, but Berg immediately got it started back up with a 21-yard completion to Matthews that moved us to the Tampa Bay 8 yard line. After 6 excruciating minutes for the folks on the Buccaneer sideline, Berg put the final exclamation mark on the drive with a beautiful fade route to Artie Furman in the left corner of the end zone to put us on top 35-17 with under 4 minutes left in the game.

Spirits were soaring on our sideline, and the crowd was roaring its approval as Hidalgo sent the kickoff flying into the Texas night sky, but that roar turned into a hush as Tampa Bay return man Adrian Strong got a couple of key blocks and sprinted all the way to the end zone. Our defense, in a state of utter shock, came on to stop the 2-point conversion, but Cary Murphy smashed through the line to cut our lead to 35-25. The Buccaneers, who we had beat up and left for dead just a minute earlier, had unbelievably come screaming back to life.

Looking for their defense to come up with a quick stop, the Bucs kicked it deep, and taking no chances this time, Scott Cooley wisely kneeled on it for a touchback. With just 3:33 now remaining on the clock, and everyone in the country expecting a run, Berg took a quick three-step drop, and hit Matthews in the flat for a 13-yard gain and a first down. Next play, Matthews’ 4-yard run behind James Pond forced the Bucs to use their first time out. On second down, Berg tried the pass once again, but this time it fell just short of Furman’s outstretched hands, and the clock stopped its advance at 2:49. On third-and-6, Berg tossed the ball to Wallace, who rumbled for 10 yards and a big first down, and the Bucs called their second time out. Now, Berg scrambled for 5 yards out to the 47, and the Bucs were forced to burn their third and final time out. Facing second-and-5 with 2:24 remaining, we should have just run the ball and let the clock wind down to 2 minutes, but Coach Irv Saxon, enamored with his own play-calling ability, sent in a pass play, and it fell incomplete. Now needing to pick up 5 yards on third down, Saxon called another passing play, but this time Berg was able to get the ball to Herb Matthews out of the backfield, and Matthews picked up 14 yards before anybody could drag him down. Thankfully, Matthews had the presence of mind to stay in bounds, and the clock wound down to the 2 minute warning.

After the time out, Berg came out looking for Matthews again, but this time his pass was smacked to the ground by linebacker Mark Dixon. A smattering of boos came from the still-nervous crowd. They, like me, just wanted us to run the ball and keep the clock moving, but the jeers turned to cheers on the next play when Matthews caught a short pass and sprinted 34 yards for a touchdown on the next play. Incredibly, Broderick Hidalgo missed the extra point, and our prospective 3-score lead remained a 2-score lead. Still, trailing 41-25 with 1:48 left and no time outs, the Bucs’ prospects looked dim indeed.

Following a touchback on the kickoff, Norris failed to connect with Hevey on first down. You can only imagine my horror on the next play as third receiver Shawn Spoljaric somehow got behind our defense and Dwight Norris threw a rainbow that hit him in stride on the way to an 80-yard touchdown. Our defense, now clearly shell-shocked, could not stop fullback Dean Barber on his run for the 2-point conversion. Just like that, our insurmountable lead was down to 41-33.

Rigelians are not, as a rule, very religious creatures, but you can bet that I was begging the guy upstairs to cut us some slack before the Bucs attempted their onside kick. Whether the Big Guy would listen to ol’ Kodos or not was a matter for debate. Ingoglia’s textbook onside kick went nose first into the ground and took a high, end-over-end bounce as the Buccaneer defenders converged on the ball, but my hasty-fashioned prayers were apparently answered in the form of running back Heath Patterson, who against all odds emerged from the bottom of the Buccaneer-laden pile with the ball. With 1:28 to go, we now had the ball back, and the Buccaneers had no time outs left in their possession. It was time for Berg to take a few knees and then head to the locker room having narrowly averted defeat.

Apparently Irv Saxon was following a different script. First down saw Herb Matthews crushed in the backfield for a 4-yard loss, but at least this time Saxon had called a run. In light of the fact that clock kept moving, I was able to live with the call, even though it was risking a fumble. What transpired on second down has me convinced that Saxon is in fact the stupidest man alive, with the possible exception of the man on the opposite sideline, Jerry Jones. Needing only to kill the clock, and not needing to gain even 1 more yard, crafty old Irv called a pass play. Let me repeat that. Nursing just an 8-point lead with slightly over a minute left, and with the Bucs having no way to stop the clock, and with a shell-shocked defense that had just given up an 80-yard touchdown pass standing in a daze all around him, and with a trip to the Super Bowl hanging in the balance, Irv the card-carrying genius called a pass play. My fucking cat knows enough run the ball (or better yet, take a knee) in that situation! :mad: Berg’s jaw gaped open when Saxon relayed in the call, but Saxon stood firm, and Berg unhappily complied, as the play clock was running low. Berg’s screen pass, intended for Ralph Randle, was knocked down by penetrating defensive tackle Luther Monroe, and the clock was stopped with 54 seconds left. Looking to surpass his last call in terms of utter stupidity, Saxon had Berg take a knee. No need to try and run it and maybe break away for a first down when you can just kneel down to bring up fourth down instead! Livid in the knowledge that Bill Gates had forced me to go bargain hunting and hire this sub-Neanderthalic cretin of a coach, I fumed inside as I watched Frankie Branch and the punting team head out onto the field.

With 29 seconds left, Branch was taking no chances with the punt. Using all of the strength in his leg, he sent it sailing out of the end zone for a touchback.

Now with 22 seconds remaining, the Bucs’ offense found themselves needing another 80-yard touchdown. Dwight Norris’s first pass attempt was blocked at the line by defensive end Will Rison, and the clock stopped at 15 seconds. Quickly running out of time and needing yardage in giant chunks from here on out, Norris looked deep for Ethan Hevey on second down, but his pass fell a little short, bringing up, for all intents and purposes, third-and-80. Back in the pocket, Norris was waiting for something to open up deep on third down when linebacker Norbert Holmes ducked inside of fullback Brock Campana and brought down Norris to end the game. At long last, the Pirate faithful around the world could breathe a huge sigh of relief! Their Silicon Pirates had survived the scare, and were on their way to the biggest game of them all once more.

Key Performers:

Berg, the Game MVP, had himself quite an outstanding day, as he completed 26 of 33 passes for 437 yards, 4 TDs, and no interceptions. He also ran the ball 7 times for 37 yards. His 437 passing yards was the second highest total in NFL Playoff history. Interestingly, Dexter McNeil, whom Berg replaced behind center here in Gatesville a number of years back, was the current holder of the record of 477 passing yards in a playoff game. In fact, McNeil had gotten the record just the week before during his Colts’ upset loss at the hands of the Bengals in the Divisional Round. Still, I can say, with total confidence, that opting for Bergeron over McNeil was the best football decision that I have ever made.

Often maligned running back Herb Matthews had himself a whale of a day as well. He ran for 73 yards on 18 carries, but his performance as a receiver was where he really shined. In all, he caught 10 passes for 182 yards and 1 TD. Keep that up and we’ll be sure to keep you around, Herb!

Rookie RB Lonnie Ruiter only carried the ball 4 times for 22 yards, but 2 of those carries went for touchdowns.

Ralph Randle caught 6 passes for 116 yards and 2 scores.

The rookie Artie Furman caught 3 passes for 45 yards and 1 TD.

The Bucs’ Jon Adams ran the ball 14 times for 94 yards and 1 TD in a losing performance for the Bucs.

Dwight Norris completed 15 of 25 passes for 217 yards and 1 TD.

Shawn Spoljaric caught 3 passes for 104 yards and that devastating 80-yard TD.

Split end Ethan Hevey pulled in 8 passes for 72 yards.

Post-Game Thoughts:

What can I say about the Bucs? They showed an unbelievable amount of heart and resilience in their efforts to return to the Super Bowl. They gave us all the fight we could handle. Though they are our enemies, I can’t help but admire them - in stark contrast to my feelings about the abominable Cowboys organization, who I can look at only with utter contempt.

In any case, it is now official that the Cleveland Browns will be coming to Gatesville next weekend with dreams of a Super Bowl victory in their hearts. It will be our job to squash those dreams like vile little bugs. I look forward to doing just that. See you in seven days, folks. Right now, I need to go lie down for a while. My heart can’t take many more games like this… :( If ever I have the opportunity to kill Irv Saxon, I swear I shall not hesitate. :mad:

[Kodos]

Sorry for the delay, guys. I was going to write it up right here, but apparently I left the diskette with the game log at home. So it will have to wait a little more. It should be up tonight, or, if not, tomorrow. Also, I never printed out the scouting report for the Browns. Alas. I'm inadequate again. ;)

[Kodos]

The 2016 Super Bowl

Cleveland (13-5) at Gatesville (15-3)
========================================

Attendance: Despite hosting our third Super Bowl in four seasons, 5,900 seats remained unsold for the day, as only 53,300 fans saw fit to attend the biggest game of the year. Knowing that each unsold ticket meant that I was a little bit closer to being fired, I couldn’t help but look at all those empty seats and shake my head in frustration and bewilderment. Year after year we had fielded a high-scoring, greatly entertaining team that featured one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of the game, Devin Bergeron, and yet the fans had consistently stayed away in droves. Part of me wondered if it was because didn’t like me, the alien GM, but then I thought, no, they probably just hate Bill’s guts...

The Game:

The 2016 Super Bowl marked the fourth time in five seasons that we had made it to the league championship game. In 2012, our first trip to the big game, a late-game bid to tie things up against the host Cincinnati Bengals failed when Devin Bergeron was picked off by Sherman Tanner. We lost that Super Bowl 20-12. In 2013, we brought the Super Bowl home to Gatesville by virtue of a league-leading 14-2 regular season record, and we went on to beat the unfortunate New York Jets 34-7 in our second Super Bowl. The 2014 season saw the Jets return to Gatesville for the Super Bowl with revenge on their minds, only to get blown out again, this time by the score of 52-13. In 2015, our quest to become the NFL’s first three-peat champions of the Super Bowl era ended in a blowout defeat at the hands of the host Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFC Championship game. The Buccaneers went on to win the 2015 Super Bowl against an overmatched Buffalo Bills squad. Now, in a season that had witnessed our Pirates rise to vanquish the reigning champion Buccaneers in the NFC Championship game to return to the Super Bowl, just one team remained to stand in the way of our third NFL title: The Cleveland Browns.

In the week leading up to the 2016 Super Bowl, many in the press had entirely dismissed the Browns’ chances of emerging victorious in Gatesville. In their eyes, the game was just a formality in the coronation of the heavily-favored Silicon Pirates as three-time NFL champions. Indeed, most of the experts suggested that our game with the Buccaneers would ultimately prove to have been the real Super Bowl. Now, the big game was at hand, and we would find out if the so-called experts were right...

=========================

It was another gray, rainy day in what had been a gray, rainy winter in Texas. At game time, the temperature had dipped to just below 60 degrees. In other words, it was perfect football weather.

We won the toss, and elected to receive. Kick return man Scott Cooley fielded the opening kickoff one yard deep in the end zone and returned it 30 yards out to the 29. On came Berg and the offense, looking to come out of the gates with a bang. On first down, Berg dropped back three steps and hit Ralph Randle in stride for a 16-yard pickup to move us close to midfield. Next came a Berg draw that produced 4 yards, and a Lonnie Ruiter run that was stuffed for no gain. On third-and-6, Berg hit his larger-than-life tight end Chuck Farley for 11-yards across the middle to keep the chains moving. Back to the ground we went, and this time Ruiter was able to find the hole for a 10-yard gain that moved us to the Browns' 30. Refusing to let up even a little, Berg went to the air again and found Ty Robbins for another 12 yards. From the Browns' 18, Herb Matthews got the call, and he gained 11-yards behind the right tackle before they could bring him down. The crowd roared with pleasure as Farley caught his second pass of the day and barreled his way through several tacklers on his way to a 7-yard touchdown. With just 4 minutes elapsed, it was already 7-0, Gatesville. In an ominous sign for the Browns, Berg and the offense had made the drive look effortless, picking up huge chunks of yardage on almost every play. If they wanted to prove the critics wrong, the Cleveland defense would have to step it up on our next possession.

Following a touchback on the kickoff, Browns QB Pete Tyler immediately went down field with the ball and found rookie wide receiver Herb Farrell for 19 yards. The next play was more of the same, as Tyler hit the rookie again, this time for a 21-yard gain that moved them across midfield to our 40. From there, Tyler tried to find Farrell for the third straight time, but his pass fell incomplete. Looking to change things up, running back Winfred Gunn was given the rock, but he toted it for only 3 yards before strong safety Isaac Shaye took him down. An errant Tyler pass that was intended for veteran receiver Marshall Johnston on third-and-7 brought an end to their drive, and on came Harvey Lowe to punt the ball away.

The punt only netted the Browns 17 yards after a touchback, and our offense returned to the field looking to continue the success of our first drive. Right away, Berg hit Herb Matthews for a 19-yard gain that must have been an unpleasant reminder to the Browns' defense of what had happened on our first drive. Unfortunately, our next two plays saw Matthews and Levon Wallace each lose 3 yards on the ground, and Artie Furman's 7-yard reception on third-and-long was not nearly enough to get us a first down.

Following Marshall Johnston's 12-yard return of Frankie Branch's punt, Cleveland had the ball on their own 26. On first down, Winfred Gunn tried the left side of the line and found a gaping hole that he exploited for 21 yards. With a mix of passing and running plays, the Browns were able to drive the ball to our 40, only to see their drive stall just outside of field goal range once again.

As had happened before, Lowe's punt ended in a touchback, and once more we took over from our own 20. Following a 9-yard pass to Levon Wallace on first down, Berg launched the ball deep into the Texas night, and Ty Robbins came up with it for a 49-yard gain despite double coverage. However, an 8-yard sack by Cleveland linebacker Howie Hitchcock on the following play stalled the drive, and we settled for a 35-yard Broderick Hidalgo field goal that made the score 10-0 as the end of the first quarter approached. Also, in an unfortunate development, our second best receiver, Ty Robbins, was injured on the field goal attempt. He would not return for the duration of the game. With the championship at stake, Berg would have to rely on Ralph Randle, Artie Furman, Chuck Farley, and Herb Matthews to carry the load the rest of the way.

Over the next half quarter or so, neither team could do much with the ball. A 52-yard Hidalgo field goal attempt at around the 10 minute mark fell short of the crossbar, giving the Browns excellent field position. Two plays later, Winfred Gunn cut through the left side of the line and ran right through our secondary for a 58-yard touchdown that cut our lead down to 10-7. Didn't these Browns know that they were not supposed to be a challenge for us? :confused:

A holding call on the ensuing kickoff put us on our own 10 to start the next drive, and we knew that a quick three-and-out by our offense could really charge the Browns up and get them believing that they could win. Berg and the offense came onto the field looking to shatter that confidence. In a drive that featured equal doses of Berg passes and Matthews runs, we moved 90 yards in 10 plays, with Berg fittingly hitting Matthews in the back corner of the end zone for the last 7 yards to put us ahead 17-7.

With just over 4 minutes left in the first half, the Browns got the ball back needing to score to remain within striking distance of us. Staying with the ground game for the most part, the Browns were once again able to move the ball into our half of the field, but, as had happened earlier, the drive faltered just outside of field goal range, and Cleveland was forced to punt it away once again. Leading 17-7 with only a minute left to go in the second quarter, we were content to just keep the ball on the ground and go into the half with a 10-point lead.

Cleveland opened the second half with a drive that took them inside our 35, but rookie placekicker Russell Blouir missed a 50-yard attempt wide right after a Dusty Sziltzer sack had short-circuited the Browns' drive.

An unnecessary roughness call against us on the first play of the drive which followed doomed it from the start, and three plays later Frankie Branch came back out onto the field. From our 25, Branch boomed a 56-yard punt deep to Marshall Johnston, who fielded the ball, but who took off before he had full control of it. Right guard Darren Cruise was there to smack him, and out came the ball, which left tackle Albert Alexander happily fell upon at the Browns' 18 yard line. An offensive holding call ruined our chance to get a touchdown out of the turnover, but Hidalgo came through with a 27-yard field goal to extend our lead to 20-7 with 6:30 remaining in the third quarter.

Another Dusty Szilter sack put the Browns in the hole quickly on their next drive, and nicely set up a three-and-out for the Browns.

Following a crappy 29-yard punt by Harvey Lowe, we took over from our own 44 smelling blood in the water. Completions thrown to Matthews and Farley, along with runs by Matthews and Bergeron had soon moved us to the Browns' 4-yard line, where Matthews caught his second touchdown pass of the day with just over a minute left in the third to give us a commanding 27-7 lead.

After the Matthews touchdown, I think it is fair to say that the Browns just folded up their tents and waited for the inevitable defeat to come. Joel Harden's 25-yard return of a Tyler interception for a touchdown was just icing on the cake, as we cruised the rest of the way to a 34-7 victory over the underdog Browns. As it turned out, the folks in the media had been right all along, God bless 'em, and for the third time in four years, we were the NFL champions.

Key Performers:

The voting for the Super Bowl MVP may have been affected by Berg's two previous MVP nods, as Dave Sanders apparently got the honors on the strength of his meaningless interception return in the fourth quarter. Berg, who only concerns himself with championships, didn't appear to mind at all as he hugged Sanders in congratulations. Sanders recorded 4 tackles and 1 assist in addition to his interception return.

Berg, who was just plain robbed in my opinion, had a fabulous day, completing 22 of 38 passes for 3 TDs and no interceptions. He also ran the ball 5 times for 25 yards.

Herb Matthews had a productive day on the ground, with 12 carries for 70 yards, but he truly shined as a receiver, catching 6 passes for 75 yards and 2 touchdowns on a day when our receiving corps was missing 2 of it's top playmakers.

Chuck Farley had himself a fine outing, as he caught 6 passes for 62 yards and the opening touchdown of the game. He also threw several key blocks on the day.

Ty Robbins caught 3 passes for 73 yards before leaving the game with an injury.

Winfred Gunn had a good day running the ball for Cleveland, as he gained 82 yards and scored 1 TD on just 10 carries. However, the Browns were forced to abandon the run early, thus limiting Gunn's carries for the game.

Pete Tyler didn't have his best day, completing 16 of 31 passes for 156 yards, 0 TDs, and 1 interception.

Herb Farrell caught three passes for 59 yards.

[DataKing]

PIRATES!
PIRATES!
PIRATES!

Looks like you just bought yourself another season, Kodos! :)

[Kodos]

Actually, the fiscal danger starts next season. Unless I REALLY lost a lot of money this season. My preseason projection says next year is the year that I will run out of money...

Still, nice to win the Big Game. Even if it might just be for the last time. :(

[stkelly52]

Wahoooooooo. Go Pirates!

[Kodos]

Following our Super Bowl triumph over the Browns, the flood of endorsement opportunities started rushing in. Berg got to do an Isotoner gloves spot with Dan Marino, while Chuck Farley ended up doing a Valentine's day spot for FTD, as well as an ad for a well-known deodorant ("Anything less would be uncivilized!"). Herb Matthews unfortunately opted to go ahead and do a commercial for Imodium that focused on his "frequent long runs," which made me wonder if I should just offer him a huge signing bonus when working on his contract offer in the offseason in the hope of preventing such ugliness in the future. Nevertheless, I must admit that I became somewhat excited when my secretary, Mrs. Peller, buzzed me one morning with a call concerning an endorsement opportunity for yours truly.

"Who is it?" I asked, trying not to sound that excited.

"Some Jim Gindin guy."

"Who?"

"Some guy named Gindin."

"Huh... Never heard of him. Oh well, he must be from an advertising firm or something. Send it through."

I picked up the receiver and said hello. "Mr. Kodos? Hi. My name is Jim Gindin."

"Hello, Mr. Gindin. What can I do for you?"

"Please, call me Jim."

"Okay Jim. What can I do for you?"

"You've probably never heard of me, but over the past 20 plus years, I've worked on a line of videogames including several football titles, as well as games in the basketball, baseball, soccer and curling genres. For the most part, I've worked on my own, but I have collaborated with developers such as EA Sports occasionally as well..."

"Are you telling me that you've worked on Madden?!?" I exclaimed, unable to hide my excitement any longer. "Holy crap! You want to put me in Madden 2018?!? As what - a GM? Ohhhhhhhh, wait... I get it! You want to use me on one of those alien teams! I'd love to do that! You know, I won my first online Madden league back in 2003."

After a momentary pause, Mr. Gindin said "Uh, Mr. Kodos, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not calling about Madden."

A bit bewildered, I replied: "I'm a little confused here. You said you've done football games, and that you've worked with EA Sports in the past. What other football game does EA have?"

"Mr. Kodos, the game I'm working on is an alien invasion simulation."

"An alien invasion sim, eh?... Interesting... Would I be one of the invaders?"

"Perhaps that could be arranged, if you'd like. Mostly, what I'm proposing is a commercial where you would be seen at the end saying 'If it's in the game, I'm in the game.' You know... To play off of EA Sports' slogan."

Another pause. "I see. Does it have good graphics?"

"Ummm ... not exactly. It's a text sim. It's got some sharp-looking databases though."

"A TEXT SIM?!? For the love of God, man!... Nobody but geeks play text sims!" I yelled into the receiver before I slammed it back down into the cradle.

"A freakin' text sim. Now I've heard it all." :rolleyes:

[DataKing]

ROFLMAO!!!

Classic stuff Kodos. Absolutely priceless. :D

[Kodos]

;)

Glad you liked it, DK!

[Kodos]

Oh no! I've lost a star! I must have made an enemy somehow! :eek:

[StanGunner]

Rally time. Get Kodos his star back. Maybe BG had to sell it.

[Kodos]

I think it's a plot by Jerry Jones himself! He must have offered Michael Irvin some crack if he'd agree to only give me one star! :eek: In fact, he probably made that offer to the whole team!

[Kodos]

2016 Individual Statistics

QBs

Berg had himself another excellent season behind center, as he was tops in the league in touchdown passes with 33, and he finished sixth in passing yards. Leonard Coffey of the Chargers finished first with 4,280 yards. As an interesting side note, former Silicon Pirate Dexter McNeil finished the season with 296 completions in 462 attempts, for 3,531 yards, 17 TDs, and 8 Interceptions. Not a bad year at all for McNeil, who was selected as the 2nd Team QB.
<pre><font face="courier">
Name GP GS Att Comp Pct Yards Avg Lg
Bergeron, Devin 14 14 445 252 56.6 3492 7.84 46
Ondre, Kerry 5 1 90 57 63.3 552 6.13 25
Alston, Dana 3 1 27 15 55.5 110 4.07 15
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
Name TD Int Sack Yards Rate
Bergeron, Devin 33 11 32 186 96.3
Ondre, Kerry 4 2 4 26 85.9
Alston, Dana 0 2 4 21 34.4
</font></pre>

RBs

Herb Matthews, who finished with just 497 rushing yards in 2015, had himself a solid season moving the ball on the ground, gaining 815 yards on 144 carries. His average yards per carry rose to an impressive 5.6 from just 4.1 a year ago. Berg, for his part, cracked the 400-yard mark to finish the year as our second most prolific rusher. Rookie RB Lonnie Ruiter, on very limited carries, averaged an eye-popping 8.6 yards per carry. If Ruiter can stay healthy in 2017, he may find himself with the starting job and getting a lot more carries, especially if we can't get Matthews, who will become a free agent in the offseason, to agree to a new contract for 2017. Heath Patterson can only be described as inadequate, which still makes him better than Brant Connor. You can rest assured that we will be looking for some new blood at RB in the draft.
<pre><font face="courier">
Name GP GS Att Yards Avg Lg TD
Matthews, Herb 12 12 144 815 5.6 65 6
Bergeron, Devin 14 14 84 415 4.9 10 1
Ruiter, Lonnie 4 1 30 260 8.6 88 4
Patterson, Heath 16 2 71 194 2.7 19 1
Wallace, Levon 16 15 51 171 3.3 19 1
Connor, Brant 14 2 36 81 2.2 11 0
</font></pre>

Receivers

Out of our Big Three wideouts, only Ty Robbins managed to stay healthy throughout the season, so everyone's numbers were down from 2015 except his. Chuck Farley picked up the slack, gaining 419 more receiving yards than he did last year. Farley's 7 touchdowns fell a bit short of his goal of 10, but they were still impressive for a tight end. Herb Matthews helped compensate for some of his flaws as a runner with a great year catching the ball. Artie Furman had a pretty good rookie season, but needs to improve in the offseason, especially if Earl Thornton's recovery from the rotator cuff injury goes poorly.
<pre><font face="courier">
Name GP GS Ctch Yards Avg Targ CtPct
Robbins, Ty 15 13 58 929 16.0 105 55.2
Farley, Chuck 15 15 68 749 11.0 107 63.5
Randle, Ralph 11 9 42 608 14.4 81 51.8
Matthews, Herb 12 12 46 582 12.6 67 68.6
Furman, Artie 11 2 29 436 15.0 50 58.0
Thornton, Earl 6 6 23 305 13.2 45 51.1
Dugans, Antoine 16 0 13 170 13.0 24 54.1
Wallace, Levon 16 15 14 124 8.8 22 63.6
Horner, Mitchell 16 0 6 93 15.5 11 54.5
Newman, Dale 4 1 9 76 8.4 18 50.0
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
Name Lg TD YAC Drop PsPly TgPct
Robbins, Ty 46 8 386 10 481 21.8
Farley, Chuck 35 7 347 7 415 25.7
Randle, Ralph 44 5 212 3 283 28.6
Matthews, Herb 42 7 418 6 340 19.7
Furman, Artie 45 3 161 2 212 23.5
Thornton, Earl 34 3 133 4 194 23.1
Dugans, Antoine 28 0 56 1 189 12.6
Wallace, Levon 19 1 116 2 241 9.1
Horner, Mitchell 44 0 46 2 76 14.4
Newman, Dale 14 2 20 1 54 33.3
</font></pre>

Defenders

Second year linebacker Sam Viola led all defenders with 88 tackles en route to a fine sophomore season. Free safety Dave Sanders had a fine season as well. Al Ingram, although he is slowing down with age, is still an asset to our linebacking corps. His 1,144 career tackles is the fourth most in league history. He needs 230 more to pass Ray Cote, who finished with 1,373. If old Al can hang around long enough, he just might get there.
<pre><font face="courier">
Name GP GS Tckl Asst Sack Blk Hurr
Viola, Sam 16 15 88 21 4.0 0 1
Sanders, Dave 16 15 78 33 0.0 0 1
Fuller, Terrance 16 15 58 23 0.0 0 0
Hines, Alan 16 15 50 19 0.0 0 0
Ingram, Al 16 15 46 15 1.0 0 0
Whalen, Timothy 16 1 46 3 0.0 0 0
Robertson, Kurt 16 16 44 22 1.0 1 1
Harden, Joel 16 15 43 8 0.0 0 0
Shaye, Isaac 16 1 39 6 0.0 0 0
Eagle, Mike 16 15 35 13 0.0 0 0
Szilter, Dusty 16 10 29 4 6.5 1 4
Mason, Jose 16 6 29 4 9.5 4 5
Everett, Paul 16 15 27 12 5.5 2 1
Mincy, Dexter 12 1 25 9 1.5 0 1
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
Name RnPly PsPly PRPct TkPct
Viola, Sam 322 445 1.1 14.7
Sanders, Dave 302 441 0.2 14.9
Fuller, Terrance 251 253 0.0 16.0
Hines, Alan 309 451 0.0 9.0
Ingram, Al 233 274 0.3 12.2
Whalen, Timothy 180 293 0.0 10.3
Robertson, Kurt 293 401 0.7 9.6
Harden, Joel 279 386 0.0 7.6
Shaye, Isaac 135 238 0.0 12.0
Eagle, Mike 266 406 0.0 7.1
Szilter, Dusty 232 326 3.5 7.0
Mason, Jose 205 333 5.5 7.8
Everett, Paul 293 414 2.0 6.2
Mincy, Dexter 125 146 1.7 13.0
</font></pre>

Pass Defenders

Dave Sanders led the defense with 4 interceptions, while Joel Harden had none in the regular season. With Mike Eagle unlikely to return as a free agent, we will be looking for help for our secondary in the draft.

<pre><font face="courier">
Name GP GS Ints IRYd TD Cght Dfns
Sanders, Dave 16 15 4 12 0 33 5
Whalen, Timothy 16 1 3 113 2 17 5
Shaye, Isaac 16 1 3 10 0 15 2
Hines, Alan 16 15 1 25 0 27 7
Robertson, Kurt 16 16 1 56 1 24 2
Viola, Sam 16 15 0 0 0 40 3
Everett, Paul 16 15 0 0 0 2 0
Eagle, Mike 16 15 0 0 0 20 4
Harden, Joel 16 15 0 0 0 24 9
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
Name PsPly PDQ
Sanders, Dave 441 32.9
Whalen, Timothy 293 39.7
Shaye, Isaac 238 37.6
Hines, Alan 451 26.6
Robertson, Kurt 401 20.7
Viola, Sam 445 15.1
Everett, Paul 414 19.6
Eagle, Mike 406 20.9
Harden, Joel 386 27.7
</font></pre>

Sack Leaders

Despite the lack of a true star on the defensive line, the unit worked well together to combine for 45 sacks, which tied them for 9th best in the league.

<pre><font face="courier">
Name GP GS Tckl Asst Sack Blk Hurr
Mason, Jose 16 6 29 4 9.5 4 5
Farley, Frankie 16 15 16 12 8.0 2 3
Szilter, Dusty 16 10 29 4 6.5 1 4
Everett, Paul 16 15 27 12 5.5 2 1
Rison, Will 16 1 11 3 5.5 0 2
Viola, Sam 16 15 88 21 4.0 0 1
Mincy, Dexter 12 1 25 9 1.5 0 1
Bolton, Ronnie 10 1 4 2 1.5 0 0
Ingram, Al 16 15 46 15 1.0 0 0
Robertson, Kurt 16 16 44 22 1.0 1 1
Marshall, Arnold 16 1 15 4 1.0 0 0
</font></pre>
<pre><font face="courier">
Name RnPly PsPly PRPct TkPct
Mason, Jose 205 333 5.5 7.8
Farley, Frankie 244 359 3.6 5.9
Szilter, Dusty 232 326 3.5 7.0
Everett, Paul 293 414 2.0 6.2
Rison, Will 125 207 3.6 5.8
Viola, Sam 322 445 1.1 14.7
Mincy, Dexter 125 146 1.7 13.0
Bolton, Ronnie 77 115 1.3 3.9
Ingram, Al 233 274 0.3 12.2
Robertson, Kurt 293 401 0.7 9.6
Marshall, Arnold 55 76 1.3 15.2
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

Player Awards for 2016

Berg won the NFL MVP, Offensive Player of the Year, and 1st Team QB awards for his efforts, even though he was robbed of his third Super Bowl MVP Award, which went to free safety Dave Sanders. To the delight of his devoted followers, Chuck U got 1st Team honors at tight end. Herb Matthews earned second team recognition as a runner, which will only increase his contract demands I’m sure...

Oh, and a Cowboy or two earned awards too. I forget their names...
<pre><font face="courier">
Award Player Team
**NFL MVP Devin Bergeron GTV
**Offensive Player of the Year Devin Bergeron GTV
Defensive Player of the Year Roger Emmons IND
Offensive Rookie of the Year Brandon Hamilton DET
Defensive Rookie of the Year Arnie Sessions DET
**Super Bowl MVP Dave Sanders GTV
**All-Pro 1st Team Quarterback Devin Bergeron GTV
All-Pro 1st Team Running Back Leland Mangum ATL
All-Pro 1st Team Fullback Richie Boza NYJ
**All-Pro 1st Team Tight End Chuck Farley GTV
All-Pro 1st Team Wide Receiver Oliver Delcorio OAK
All-Pro 1st Team Wide Receiver Kelvin Gonzalez KCY
All-Pro 1st Team Center Eddie Carpenter TBY
All-Pro 1st Team Guard Vernon Fulton JAX
All-Pro 1st Team Guard Brad Spruce IND
All-Pro 1st Team Tackle Lester Duarte ATL
All-Pro 1st Team Tackle Brad Rasmussen DSM
All-Pro 1st Team Punter Jared Hutchins ATL
All-Pro 1st Team Kicker Ryan Longwell PIT
All-Pro 1st Team Defensive End Isaac Osborne ATL
All-Pro 1st Team Defensive End Joseph Buckner NOS
All-Pro 1st Team Defensive Tackle Kevin Von Hagel NYJ
All-Pro 1st Team Defensive Tackle Edward Bray DSM
All-Pro 1st Team Linebacker Winston Larose NED
All-Pro 1st Team Linebacker J.T. Weaver CHI
All-Pro 1st Team Linebacker Buddy Russell DSM
All-Pro 1st Team Linebacker Nick Pravato CLE
All-Pro 1st Team Cornerback Gene Davidson NOS
All-Pro 1st Team Cornerback Danny Carty TBY
All-Pro 1st Team Safety Roger Emmons IND
All-Pro 1st Team Safety Carlos Thayer PIT
*All-Pro 2nd Team Quarterback Dexter McNeil IND
**All-Pro 2nd Team Running Back Herb Matthews GTV
All-Pro 2nd Team Fullback Tyrell Arnold CIN
All-Pro 2nd Team Tight End Jonathan Covington ARI
All-Pro 2nd Team Wide Receiver Lamar Talley SDO
All-Pro 2nd Team Wide Receiver Frank Williamson SFO
All-Pro 2nd Team Center Marlon Mercer DAL
All-Pro 2nd Team Guard Duane Lindsay PIT
All-Pro 2nd Team Guard Jessie Murry CIN
All-Pro 2nd Team Tackle Lamont Maloney CLE
All-Pro 2nd Team Tackle Rod Davison BUF
All-Pro 2nd Team Punter Edgar Rodgers JAX
All-Pro 2nd Team Kicker Lamar Shea STL
All-Pro 2nd Team Defensive End Jared Russell IND
All-Pro 2nd Team Defensive End Bo Browne PHI
All-Pro 2nd Team Defensive Tackle Joseph Stewart ATL
All-Pro 2nd Team Defensive Tackle Walter Dempsey JAX
All-Pro 2nd Team Linebacker Tracy Moulton IND
All-Pro 2nd Team Linebacker Aaron Neimeyer PHI
All-Pro 2nd Team Linebacker Kurt Santos ARI
All-Pro 2nd Team Linebacker Troy Tompkins DAL
All-Pro 2nd Team Cornerback Edward Robertson JAX
All-Pro 2nd Team Cornerback Dale Withers ARI
All-Pro 2nd Team Safety Sedrick Leszynski KCY
All-Pro 2nd Team Safety Melvin Duffy PHI
</font></pre>

[revrew]

Way to go, Kodos! Farley is the man. Led the team in receptions, on his way to helping Berg win NFL MVP. Shannon Sharpe? Who dat?

[Kodos]

I knew you'd be happy! I want to get him double-digit touchdowns one of these seasons. 2017 may be my last chance...

[Kodos]

2016 Season Final Team Ratings:

Season Ending Power Ratings:

The power ratings for both teams dropped from the end of 2016, but we won the Super Bowl, so who really gives a rat’s ass?

<pre><font face="courier">
Gatesville: 79
Dallas: 44
</font></pre>

Team Rankings for 2016 Season:

Our rushing offense ranking improved from twenty-fourth in 2015 with 1,513 yards, to first in 2016 with 2,037 yards picked up on the ground. Our passing yardage ranking dropped one spot to number two, as our passing yardage fell from 4,561 in 2015 to a still impressive 4,154 yards in 2016. Boasting the league’s number one offense in terms of total yardage, we had precious little to complain about concerning that side of the ball. San Diego finished first in passing yardage with 4,361 yards on the season.

Our passing defense jumped from thirty-first in 2015 with 3,743 yards allowed, to eighteenth in 2016 with 3,270, while our fourth-ranked rush defense from 2015 fell to fifteenth overall, with our defense allowing 1,704 yards on the ground in 2016.

<pre><font face="courier">
Rushing offense 2,037 yds 1st
Passing offense 4,154 yds 2nd
Rushing defense 1,704 yds 15th
Passing defense 3,270 yds 18th
</font></pre>

Our defense finished a respectable ninth overall in terms of sacks in 2016, up from fifteenth in 2015. Our team interceptions ranking was twenty-first for the second straight year, as we came up with one less interception this season than we did back in 2015. Our turnover margin improved somewhat from 0 in 2015 to +2 in 2016, but there is obviously plenty of room for improvement in this category. The one category where our defense really shined in 2016 was the most important one – points allowed. The 251 points we surrendered this season was good enough for our defense to finish ranked second behind Indianapolis, who only allowed 227 points on the year. Considering that we gave up 335 points in 2015, I’d say that our defense really stepped it up this season. Offensively, we were able to put up 452 points onto the board in 2016, which was considerably more than the second-ranked Chiefs, who came close to reaching the 400 mark with 397 points scored.

It is safe to say that the main difference between our failure in 2015 and our success in 2016 was the play of the defense. Our bend but don’t break philosophy really paid off in 2016, as it helped us on the way to claiming our third Lombardi trophy.

<pre><font face="courier">
Sacks 45 9th
Interceptions 15 21st
Turnover margin +2 14th
Points scored 452 1st
Points allowed 251 2nd
</font></pre>

[Godzilla Blitz]

Yatta Pirates!

Congrats Kodos! I just caught up!

What's with Hidalgo, though? Is he getting old or something?

Way to handle that Gindin phone call! Classic!

Don't sweat that lone star you lost. It was probably one that got knocked off a Dallas helmet in the playoff game.

Great stuff as usual!

[Kodos]

2016 Franchise Info:

Average Yearly Attendance Through 2015:

The bad news begins as we delve into our the state of our franchise. While we did manage a minimal 1.7% increase in ticket sales in 2016, the Cowboys’ attendance jumped by over 5% in the same time period, with an average of 4,400 more fans attending their home games in 2016 in comparison to 2015. The results were definitely not what I would have hoped for at the beginning of the season. Why the fans continue to spurn us is just beyond me. :rolleyes:

<pre><font face="courier">
Gatesville Dallas
Attend. %Attend. Attend. %Attend.
2007 35,400 59.7 55,400 84.3*
2008 36,200 61.1 55,500 84.4
2009 38,200 64.5 59,300 83.7**
2010 35,400 59.7 61,800 87.2
2011 39,600 66.8 58,700 82.9
2012 42,300 71.4 50,300 71.0
2013 43,200 72.9 55,900 78.9
2014 44,700 75.5 51,600 72.8
2015 49,100 82.9 48,000 68.9
2016 50,100 84.6 52,400 74.0
</font></pre>
* Our first year in Gatesville
** Dallas' first year with their renovated stadium.

Fan Support Through 2016:

Again, looking at this chart, I have to wonder what in God’s name is going on? You’d think that it was the Cowboys who were winning all the Super Bowls.
<pre><font face="courier">
Gatesville Dallas
Fan loyalty New stadium Fan loyalty New stadium
2007 0 0 69 0
2008 0 0 63 0
2009 0 8 56 0
2010 0 16 45 0
2011 0 26 36 0
2012 6 46 25 0
2013 20 70 18 0
2014 31 87 28 12
2015 33 85 23 0
2016 37 80 27 10
</font></pre>

Franchise Values Through 2016:

Yet more bad news. Our value went down, their value went up.

<pre><font face="courier">
Gatesville Dallas
2007 $515,700,000 (28th) $614,790,000 (9th)
2008 $537,350,000 (29th) $576,170,000 (22nd)
2009 $546,000,000 (29th) $539,500,000 (31st)
2010 $590,860,000 (29th) $654,660,000 (17th)
2011 $616,350,000 (20th) $595,290,000 (26th)
2012 $647,970,000 (24th) $557,030,000 (32nd)
2013 $652,850,000 (27th) $547,870,000 (31st)
2014 $726,040,000 (14th) $587,820,000 (30th)
2015 $734,520,000 (12th) $591,740,000 (32nd)
2016 $734,070,000 (13th) $603,040,000 (26th)
</font></pre>

Yearly Profits/Losses Through 2016:

Apparently, hosting all of those playoff games and our increased attendance didn’t make that big of a difference in our bottom line. On the other hand, Jerry effectively wiped out 5 years of losses with just one good season. I ask you: Is there no justice?!? :mad:
<pre><font face="courier">
Gatesville Dallas
2007 -$158,340,000 +$1,270,000
2008 -$156,020,000 -$14,750,000
2009 -$175,240,000 +$64,470,000
2010 -$216,300,000 +$52,820,000
2011 -$174,590,000 -$5,030,000
2012 -$157,570,000 -$8,200,000
2013 -$131,510,000 -$5,090,000
2014 -$64,880,000 +$1,940,000
2015 -$62,760,000 -$9,160,000
2016 -$59,260,000 +$40,050,000
</font></pre>

Cumulative Table Of Losses Through 2016:

And here’s the really bad news, not that it is particularly surprising.
<pre><font face="courier">
Season Team Losses
=====================
2000 $620,000,000
2001 18,000,000
2002 14,000,000
2003 134,600,000
2004 169,300,000
2005 122,100,000
2006 6,731,700,000*
2007 158,300,000
2008 156,000,000
2009 175,200,000
2010 216,300,000
2011 174,600,000
2012 157,600,000
2013 131,500,000
2014 64,900,000
2015 62,760,000
2016 59,260,000
=====================
Total $9,166,120,000
</font></pre>

* Bill Gates bought the right to rename Waco to "Gatesville" in 2006 for $6.6 billion dollars.

And The Squeeze Grows Tighter Still...

As my preseason calculations suggested, barring a Super Bowl victory, next season will be my last as GM of the Silicon Pirates. There is simply no way that I can avoid going over the $9.2 billion in losses line in the sand that Bill has drawn for me. Worse yet, even if we somehow do manage to win the Super Bowl next year, I will still be right back on board the same sinking ship in 2018 and 2019, as well as for most of the next decade, as profitability looks to be an utter impossibility here in Gatesville until we can get a new stadium with luxury suites… which won’t be possible until somewhere around 2027.

Basically, any way you look at it, this alien’s proverbial goose is cooked. :(

<pre><font face="courier">
$9,200,000,000
-9,166,120,000
==============
$33,880,000
</font></pre>

2014 vs. 2015 vs. 2016 Financial Performances: A Closer Look

The good news in 2016 was that our revenues increased by 7%, mostly on the strength of increased ticket revenue. The bad news was that most of this was wiped out by player bonuses, which soared by 23%. In a nutshell, any progress that we made was basically for nothing. I am doomed, doomed, doomed. :(

Sometimes, I just want to pack up my things and fly back to Rigel IV…

<pre><font face="courier">
2014 2015 2016 %chg


Television contract $57,520,000 $58,200,000 $58,880,000 +1%
Ticket revenue $50,380,000 $48,510,000 $55,030,000 +13%
Suite revenue $0 $0 $0 --
Concessions $4,760,000 $4,770,000 $5,750,000 +20%
Parking $2,520,000 $2,520,000 $3,040,000 +20%
Advertising $13,290,000 $15,850,000 $16,310,000 +2%


Revenues $128,470,000 $129,850,000 $139,010,000 +7%


Player contracts $96,960,000 $101,600,000 $99,060,000 -2%
Player bonuses $46,600,000 $37,500,000 $46,450,000 +23%
Training $7,270,000 $7,890,000 $7,090,000 -10%
Coaching $22,400,000 $22,400,000 $22,400,000 0%
Scouting $14,850,000 $17,550,000 $17,550,000 0%
Stadium maintenance $5,210,000 $5,670,000 $5,720,000 0%
Stadium payment $0 $0 $0 --


Costs $193,350,000 $192,610,000 $198,270,000 +2%


Profits/Losses -$64,880,000 -$62,760,000 -$59,260,000 +5%
</font></pre>

[Kodos]

Thanks for the kind words, GB. Unfortunately, it appears that I shall be joining you in the unemployment lines in early 2018. Why must all of the anti-dynasties be doomed to failure?!? :confused:

Anyhow, this will wrap it up for the Part VII of The Bill Gates Challenge. Unfortunately, as has been my pattern lately, I am going to take a break before posting Part VIII. Having an in-state girlfriend has really limited my spare time and my ability to churn these things out. However, as before, I promise to return with Part VIII in a little while. Hopefully, the break will not be nearly as long as my last one. ;)

Seeing that it will likely be the final installment, I plan to do everything I can to make it the most entertaining installment yet, with more special features and side stories than ever. I already have several ideas for things I'd like to include, and I think they will be really cool. So please be patient with pokey ol' Kodos - good things come to those who wait. If you must, go back into those bunkers and suspended animation chambers, and before you know it, I'll be back to finish this thing off.

Until we meet again, take care, folks.

- Kodos :cool:

[Lokugh]

Ya know the worst thing about your deficit Kodos? That 6.6 billion Bill paid to rename Waco. There already is a Gatesville, TX, and it is actually closer to Dallas than Waco is. Its just up north of Denton. Has a lot fewer people though...

Lokugh

[Kodos]

Lokugh: Probably the same number of people would show up for games in the original Gatesville.

Stupid Bill blaming me for his moronic idea of renaming Waco. It would have been a more appropriate name for Bill's team too...

[stkelly52]

You know, with some drastic cost cutting measures, you might be able to turn a profit. Just try to cut salary down to 1/2-3/4 off the cap limit, and then avoid giving anyone a bonus. Stock your team with undrafted rookies. You may not win it all, but I think fans will still come, and you could actulally begin to right the ship.

[Kodos]

That would probably work, but I'm not going to tear apart the team that I worked so hard to build into a champion. I'd rather just get fired than live a drawn-out death with a losing team. I'll leave that to the Bengals. I'd rather go out in a blaze of glory. :) Just like Jon Bon Jovi.

[Kodos]

Here's a New Poll (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?threadid=5841&referrerid=1037) to determine my course of action in light of my current financial crisis.

[cthomer5000]

great work and a great read (as usual) Kodos!

I say go all out next year and focus on winning another title. Also gouge people with ticket prices to cover your ass financially. ;)

[Kodos]

Hey, cthomer! Glad to see you back on the board. How is your recovery going?

[fantastic flying froggies]

Just gave back this dynasty the 5 stars it deserved...

Incidently, whatever happened to last year's backup TE Ross Corbett who was starting to push Chuck U. for playing time ? You didn't mention him as being traded or cut, but he wasn't on the roster this year ?

[Kodos]

I think he might have left as a free agent. If I recall right, he wanted too much money for a backup tight end, so I let him leave.

And thanks for the star! :)

[Grid Iron]

Throw everything you can into the franchise, not matter what the long term consequences!;)

[Kodos]

Or the short-term consequences. ;)

[fantastic flying froggies]

Bump...

Well ? No season 8 ? Surely you can't stop before Friends does...

[Kodos]

Hey Froggies! I'm taking a little time off before Part VIII. Posting dynasties is hard work! :) Don't you worry though. I will be back for 2017 sometime.

[Kodos]

Another poll (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?threadid=6640&referrerid=1037) concerning when I should post the next installment. :)

[Kodos]

Good news, folks! I have finally finished the annoying task of copying over all 7 installments of the BGC over from the old boards, including the refurbishment of this thread to include the reader's comments that I was too lazy to copy over when I originally transferred the thread from the old board.

"That's nice, but what does this get me," you ask? Well, it puts the extremely tedious task of copying the hundreds of posts over here behind me, and it frees me up to begin work on Part VIII of the Challenge, which I have already gotten underway. I am pushing to get the bulk of the writing done before NCAA Football 2004 comes out, so that means that hopefully I will be ready to start posting the next installment sometime in mid to late July - just in time for the startup of the football preseason. :)

Thanks for your patience, folks, and with a little luck, the local anti-Cowboys dynasty will soon be back up and running.

- Kodos :cool:

P.S. Just think: The next time you see a new BGC thread pop up, it will actually be new! :D

[Nyarlahotep]

Can't wait Kodos. Thanks for moving these. They have been an excellent read.

[Kodos]

Glad you enjoyed them. :)

Here's the link to Part VIII: Blaze Of Glory (http://dynamic2.gamespy.com/~fof/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12021). Enjoy!

[fantastic flying froggies]

Now that is indeed good news !