The Girl of My Dreams!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

So I'm feeling like a loser, trying out a one week free thing on an internet dating site that someone here works at.

I write to a 32 year old woman who looks a lot like my ex and says she's a Christian, into God, blah blah blah.

She responds in a very poorly written short letter that she is glad to hear from me and she is looking for a good love. She gives me her actual email and asks if I want more pics of her.

I reply that I would, and commence to walking around singing Sanctified Lady.

She sends me some professionally photographed pics that look like they belong in one of these near-porn mens magazines you see! I guess she forgot to be a church girl for a moment... Her letter explains that she is from NYC, but in Ghana because her father died. She graduated medical school and is living with her mother. She tells me she's 30. She tells me that she is very serious about her studies. She goes on and on about wanting a man that will love her. Oh yeah, and I'm the first man she met on there!

Because I speak fluent bullsh*t, I was able to translate:

I need a greencard.

:D

[Karlifornia]

Yeah, that's gotta be complete garbage.

[ThunderingHERD]

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

[Schmidty]

So much I want to say, but my wife is teaching me to have a filter....

It's difficult......must...slam....du....sh...g

BAH!!!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.
LMAO!!!

Actually, this is the exact quote:

hello am fati i am 30years from nyc but now am in ghana because my father is died i dont have any kids am a science student but now am a grdaute i am now living with my mum in ghana infact u are the first person i have met and am glad that u email me my dear i will love to know u more and also i will like to know if u are intrested in me because first of all i want a man who is honest someone who will never hurt i dont want games i need real love i want to be a medical docter so am serious with my studies and also life i need someone who i can call my love and he will respond darling so let me know if we can always contact thanks i am a true christian and i will like to know more of u soon u are welcome

[Desmond]

Tell her you dont date Fatis.

[ThunderingHERD]

Tell her you dont date Fatis.

:golf clap:

[Karlifornia]

Tell her you dont date Fatis.


LOL

[Desmond]

Thank you, i'll be here all week.

[Ksyrup]

Ha!

[Butter]

On the other hand, it would be pretty sweet having a docter in the family.

[rkmsuf]

Did she by any chance just win the Nigerian lottery?

[cartman]

Tell her you dont date Fatis.

It might be ok if she is cute in the fase

:D

[gkb]

Thank you, i'll be here all week.

LOL

You're on fire. :D

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Tell her you dont date Fatis.

:D

First thing I thought when I saw her name was "How the hell do you say that without getting in trouble?"

She now sends me her phone number, which looks something like this: 00989765434563887363454464836234532634874653

Yeah. Like I'm going to spend the next hour and a half dialing my rotary phone to reach her (I don't have a push button phone.)

She wants me to call her and send her more pictures of myself and my address so she can verify that I am who I say I am. She also didn't answer a single question I posed to her that were designed to out her as a fraud.

This is hilarious!

[Raiders Army]

But did you ask for nasty churchgirl pix?

[Icy]

Did she by any chance just win the Nigerian lottery?Nah she is the wife of a Nigerian general who died in the last civil war, leaving her alone with $82987439827498236 Millions.

[Desnudo]

That is tempting, $82987439827498236 Millions.

Is anyone else fervently hoping that sometime in the future M Go Blue comes home and there's a Ghananian woman on his front steps?

[gottimd]

:D

She now sends me her phone number, which looks something like this: 00989765434563887363454464836234532634874653

I called it, she sounds hot, when she picked up I said, "Hello...are you Fatis?"

[M GO BLUE!!!]

This morning at 10am my phone starts ringing off the hook. Being the lazy bastard that I am, I let the machine get it and the call hangs up. Every 15 minutes or so there is another call. I finally get up at 1p and answer it. It is a call from her, but not exactly...

The call was placed using some sort of service where "she" was using a computer to type and the operator would tell me what was said, then type my reponse. "She" was calling for two reasons, to verify that "she" was real (I find this side-splittingly hilarious!) and for the reason that is clearly outlined in the email I received this morning, but had not opened until now.

hello how are u my dear thanks for the email i will call u soon my dear i am very glad that u came in my life i love ur pics very well my dear my dear my mum is very ill she is in the hopsital now and i will love u tohelp me my dear i need 200$ for some drugs for her paracetamol and apettite syrub my dear try and send me the money to western union my dear please try and help me this is my information

Shock of all shocks... I never would have guessed that "she" would need me to send money! I had the operator type that I wondered how long it would take to ask for money and while I am a fool I am not a damn fool. I wished her well on moving on to the next patsy and ended the call after listening to the response about "How much can you send? My mother is in the hospital."

[Rizon]

Shock of all shocks... I never would have guessed that "she" would need me to send money! I had the operator type that I wondered how long it would take to ask for money and while I am a fool I am not a damn fool. I wished her well on moving on to the next patsy and ended the call after listening to the response about "How much can you send? My mother is in the hospital."

Somewhere, a Russian man is pissed.

[Rizon]

This morning at 10am my phone starts ringing off the hook. Being the lazy bastard that I am, I let the machine get it and the call hangs up. Every 15 minutes or so there is another call. I finally get up at 1p and answer it. It is a call from her, but not exactly...

The call was placed using some sort of service where "she" was using a computer to type and the operator would tell me what was said, then type my reponse. "She" was calling for two reasons, to verify that "she" was real (I find this side-splittingly hilarious!) and for the reason that is clearly outlined in the email I received this morning, but had not opened until now.



Did you have to accept the call?

[Marc Vaughan]

Shock of all shocks... I never would have guessed that "she" would need me to send money! I had the operator type that I wondered how long it would take to ask for money and while I am a fool I am not a damn fool. I wished her well on moving on to the next patsy and ended the call after listening to the response about "How much can you send? My mother is in the hospital."
You should have responded in kind - indicating that unfortunately you were awaiting money from a lottery win and needed $100 to help pay your rent until your million dollar winnings were paid into your account ... ;)

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Did you have to accept the call?
No. It was the type of service deaf people use. I asked the operator and she said it was a free service.

[Rizon]

No. It was the type of service deaf people use. I asked the operator and she said it was a free service.

Did the operator say anything about the Motherland?

[sterlingice]

You should have responded in kind - indicating that unfortunately you were awaiting money from a lottery win and needed $100 to help pay your rent until your million dollar winnings were paid into your account ... ;)Brilliant :D

Reminds me of the Anus Laptops scambaiting from 419eater.

SI

[ThunderingHERD]

http://accra.usembassy.gov/wwwhdating.html

Internet Dating Scams


United States citizens should be alert to attempts at fraud by persons claiming to live in Ghana who profess friendship or romantic interest over the Internet. Correspondents who quickly move to discussion of intimate matters could well be the inventions of scammers. If they are after your money, eventually they will ask for it.

Once a connection is made, the correspondent typically asks the U.S. citizen to send money for living expenses, travel expenses, or "visa costs". Sometimes, the correspondent notifies the American citizen that a close family member has suffered an “accident” and is in need of immediate monetary assistance to cover medical bills. Other variations of this confidence scam have emerged of late, all with the principle goal of soliciting money from the U.S. citizen. Several Americans have reported losing thousands of dollars through such scams.

The anonymity of the Internet means that the U.S. citizen cannot be sure of the real name, age, marital status, nationality, or even gender of the correspondent. In the majority of cases reported to the embassy, the correspondent turned out to be a fictitious persona created only to lure the U.S. citizen into sending money.

- U.S. citizens may refer to http://uscis.gov for authoritative information about the immigration process and the true costs involved.

- They may arrange to prepay for a plane ticket directly with the carrier rather than wiring money for transportation to the traveler.

- If the correspondent provides an image of a purported U.S. visa as proof of intention to travel, the U.S. citizen may contact the United States Embassy in Accra at [email protected] to ascertain the validity of the visa.

[JW]

So how did she get your phone number? Did you give it to her?

[tarcone]

why would anyone give an anonymous person money? are they that desperate?

[lytic]

This is awesome... thanks for posting. :D

[M GO BLUE!!!]

So how did she get your phone number? Did you give it to her?
Yup.

I just wanted to see how long it would take to ask for money. :D

[SFL Cat]

You should have responded in kind - indicating that unfortunately you were awaiting money from a lottery win and needed $100 to help pay your rent until your million dollar winnings were paid into your account ... ;)

CLASSIC! :cool: