Need a Good Pickup Line

[tarcone]

going to a bar later...anybody got a winner?

[st.cronin]

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

[st.cronin]

dola - not sure what kind of bar you're going to, but this might work.

"Want to cross streams?"

[ShovelMonkey]

Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!

[sovereignstar]

wanna fuck?

[Pumpy Tudors]

You: "I've got this great knock-knock joke, but you have to start it! It'll be hilarious! Go ahead!"
Him: "Knock-knock."
You: "Who's there?"

The fun can only continue from there.

[tarcone]

ok not a gay bar strictly male/female but a local bar with a hoosier slant (i.e. slight white trash)

[tarcone]

oh and im already really buzzed so anything goes...woo hoo

[st.cronin]

"I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party."

"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."

[tarcone]

nice

[Desmond]

"I bet you dont give head half as good as your mother"

[ShovelMonkey]

Or maybe..."The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor."

[thealmighty]

Just do what sabotai does and show off your 19" of manhood. :)

[Dutch]

Just do what sabotai does and show off your 19" of manhood. :)

"Excuse me, while I whip this out..."

http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v295/sugarmonger/malebondageing.jpg

[Greyroofoo]

*insert Chuck Norris Fact*

[FrogMan]

I hear the Dodge Ram series is a good line of pickup...

FM

[Coffee Warlord]

Heh. Ironically, the old method still works, as was proven at a bar last night, with me and my buddy.

He just tells the bartender to buy some girl a drink, and a short while later, there we are shooting the shit with em. Of course, all 3 of them turned out to be engaged, but it made for an amusing half hour.

[Vinatieri for Prez]

Sounds like a waste of a drink to me. What's the great method you're talking about: Buy her a drink -- leads to nowhere.??

[sabotai]

Just do what sabotai does and show off your 19" of manhood. :)
"Hey baby, if you come back to my room, I'll show you my 19 inches."

[Julio Riddols]

Hey there, I'm "your name" but everyone calls me sarge.. wanna go back to the barracks and meet my privates?

[Ragone]

Hey baby, are you going to be walking to your car alone tonight? i'll just be over here watching you all night

[GrantDawg]

I hear the Dodge Ram series is a good line of pickup...

FM

If you like having your transmission fall out. Tundra is the only way to go.

[fantastic flying froggies]

How about "I won a super bowl in 1972 with the Houston Oilers"?

[timmae]

need an update tarcone... which was used and didja?!

[Fidatelo]

I feel bad that I didn't see this thread in time. I'll give you this beauty in case you still need it for next time:

"Hey baby, you don't sweat much for a fat chick!"

[st.cronin]

Sounds like a waste of a drink to me. What's the great method you're talking about: Buy her a drink -- leads to nowhere.??

60 percent of the time, it works every time.

[duckman]

"Wanna get a pizza and fuck? What? You don't like pizza?"

[Desnudo]

Hello, my name is tarcone. How are you doing tonight? Works everytime.

Then offer to do a tequila shooter off her cleavage.

[tarcone]

LOL they were all outstanding. the Oiler one i thought would win but the girl didnt know what a houston oiler was. unfortunately, i was denied last night as none got me over the top

[Rizon]

"Wanna see Brokeback Mountain?"

[Dutch]

"Wanna see Brokeback Mountain where we can be alone?"

:)

[Joe]

I tell them my name, say that they're the most beautiful woman in the bar, and ask if I can buy them a drink. It works.

[Balldog]

Last night I was simply wasted....don't do this:

Decent looking chick that I made eye contact with earlier comes up to me and says, "hi, my name is Jamie." I reply "hi, my name is Scott." She says "its nice to me you, you are cute." I reply, "it is isn't? How lucky you must feel." She just looks at me like I'm the biggest asshole she had ever met and walked away.

My friends were like "what the fuck are you doing?"

[FrogMan]

I tell them my name, say that they're the most beautiful woman in the bar, and ask if I can buy them a drink. It works.
you mean, you really have to tell them your name? Don't they know who GWB is??? :confused:

FM

[sterlingice]

you mean, you really have to tell them your name? Don't they know who GWB is??? :confused:

FMDang it, FM. You stole the overdone, cheesy joke I was going to make. :D

SI

[Desnudo]

you mean, you really have to tell them your name? Don't they know who GWB is??? :confused:

FM

Since he's president he uses a code name when he's out on the town, Johnny Canada.

[Groundhog]

I have never used a pickup line, and never will. I can't imagine them ever working. The best way to pickup is just to dance IMO. If you go out on the dance floor, bust some moves & look like you're enjoying yourself then it's got a pretty high success rate I've found.

[sterlingice]

Since he's president he uses a code name when he's out on the town, Johnny Canada.Awesome :D :D :D

I saw we make that GWB's custom title :)

SI

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Decent looking chick that I made eye contact with earlier comes up to me and says, "hi, my name is Jamie." I reply "hi, my name is Scott." She says "its nice to me you, you are cute." I reply, "it is isn't? How lucky you must feel." She just looks at me like I'm the biggest asshole she had ever met and walked away.
Wow, and this didn't work for you? http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Balldog]

Wow, and this didn't work for you? http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

haha

I just wasn't that interested. Its not like I was serious about it, she couldn't even tell I was joking...obviously no sense of humor at all.

My friend was home from Cleveland for the weekend and we were out to have a good time with the guys.

[Vinatieri for Prez]

60 percent of the time, it works every time.

The odds are the same whether you buy the drink or not. That's my point.

[st.cronin]

The odds are the same whether you buy the drink or not. That's my point.

Actually, I disagree. Buy her the drink, and I think her respect level drops. Unless she's a drunk, then and only then does she get interested.

NEVER pay for the drink.

Just my own experience, from several years working behind a bar.

[Vinatieri for Prez]

I agree for the most part. I've always thought there was certainly no positive, but never really thought there was a negative in terms of "respect" (other than being out $5). I've always thought the other way around -- if I have to buy them a drink to get their ear, then I don't have respect for them and don't want to go there anyways.

[KJDelaney]

going to a bar later...anybody got a winner?

"i have all my shots, and a pocket full of $20's"

[Mustang]

44 posts and no 'cocky and funny' line??

[bbor]

Fuck me if i'm wrong,but is'nt your name Olga?

[ThunderingHERD]

Last night I was simply wasted....don't do this:

Decent looking chick that I made eye contact with earlier comes up to me and says, "hi, my name is Jamie." I reply "hi, my name is Scott." She says "its nice to me you, you are cute." I reply, "it is isn't? How lucky you must feel." She just looks at me like I'm the biggest asshole she had ever met and walked away.

My friends were like "what the fuck are you doing?"

Man, I use stuff like that all the time--not as a some great pickup strategy, mostly just to amuse myself. I can't imagine it not working if the girl approached you, unless your delivery was off or she had no sense of humor.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

ok not a gay bar strictly male/female but a local bar with a hoosier slant (i.e. slight white trash)
Ya reckon we's kin?

[BuffaloHuskey]

If you really want to get a mixed reaction try this....

Hi my name is ["insert name here"] and I am hung like a hockey puck. It is funny to wacth the girls' facial expressions when she is visualizing this.

[duckman]

"So how much?"

[rkmsuf]

"Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"

[duckman]

"Ever seen a crisp 50 dollar bill?"

[waitforit]

"excuse me, is that a keg in your pants? cause I wanna tap that ass."

[JeeberD]

"Ummmm...hi. How ya doing?"

[heybrad]

"I'll bet you $5 that I can make your tits jiggle without touching them."

[KJDelaney]

"Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"

can I use that one?

[sabotai]

"Ummmm...hi. How ya doing?"Pffft, like that has any chance of working.

[oliegirl]

Pffft, like that has any chance of working.


It would work alot better than any of the other ones posted!!!

[sabotai]

It would work alot better than any of the other ones posted!!!Ugh. You obviously don't know women if you think that.


:p

[Suburban Rhythm]

The #1 pickup line in gay bar is "Excuse me, can I push in your stool?"

Does that help you?

[oliegirl]

Ugh. You obviously don't know women if you think that.


:p


Yeah.

Seriously - do guys honestly think that pick up lines work? Have any of you ever had success by saying something like "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day"? If a guy had ever said that to me in a bar, I think I would have just laughed in his face and then walked away.

Now I admit I had some lines, but never to pick a guy up...I always found that to start a conversation, just saying hi and introducing myself worked the best.

[Desnudo]

Yeah.

Seriously - do guys honestly think that pick up lines work? Have any of you ever had success by saying something like "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day"? If a guy had ever said that to me in a bar, I think I would have just laughed in his face and then walked away.

Now I admit I had some lines, but never to pick a guy up...I always found that to start a conversation, just saying hi and introducing myself worked the best.

It's all in the delivery.

[duckman]

"Are you afraid to get your knees dirty?"

[Danny]

"Hello, my name is Santa Claus, and what would you like for Christmas?

[duckman]

"So how much?"

[duckman]

"Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?"

[duckman]

"Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good."

[sabotai]

Seriously - do guys honestly think that pick up lines work?Serious answer: Of course not.

[gkb]

"Hi, I lost my phone number...can I have yours?"

Yeah ok, that one sucks. :)

[larrymcg421]

"Do you wash your clothes with windex? Because I can see myself in your pants."

[oliegirl]

Serious answer: Of course not.


Thank God!

[duckman]

"Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?"

[Rockstar]

"How would I rate you? Oh, about a five...so I'd be happy to take you and your friend both"

[duckman]

"The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word."

[duckman]

"Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for.."

[duckman]

"I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you."

[duckman]

"Hi. Are you legal?"

[Crim]

So, are you going to have sex with me or not? Cuz that girl over there looks like a sure thing...

[Schmidty]

Duckman sure uses Google a lot.

[duckman]

Duckman sure uses Google a lot.
They're a mixture of ones my buddies use and a website that has a bunch on it. Unfortunately, I'm not creative enough to think of these myself. :(

[duckman]

"Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?"

[Easy Mac]

You must be Joe Cool's sister because your camel toe is smoking

[Lorena]

This isn't a pickup line, but I went to the movies with this guy (way before I met Ant) and felt him grabbing my breast. I smacked him and asked him what the hell he was doing and he said, "Oh, was that your breast? I'm sorry, I thought it was your shoulder... I just wanted to give you a massage."

[FrogMan]

This isn't a pickup line, but I went to the movies with this guy (way before I met Ant) and felt him grabbing my breast. I smacked him and asked him what the hell he was doing and he said, "Oh, was that your breast? I'm sorry, I thought it was your shoulder... I just wanted to give you a massage."
do you have a pointy nipple on your shoulder?

(ask Ant to explain that one ;))

FM

[MrBug708]

If you were but a tear in my eye, I wouldnt dare cry for fear of losing you...

[Julio Riddols]

Walk up to her dressed conservatively and carrying a bible (or some tracts), a bottle of 151, and a zippo. You get her attention, make a little small talk about her family life, then ask her- "Have you been saved?"

Now, while she fumbles around trying to think of a way to get rid of you, you quicky throw down the bottle of rum, then light the zippo and throw it down.

While she reacts to the fire, she becomes vulnerable, so now you pick her up quickly and rush her out of the building. When you get outside, kiss her and tell her "Now you have been saved."

She'll love you forever.

OR

Walk up to her, and strongly state that you really really hate the Navy. Then ask her- "Wanna help me waste a bunch of seamen?" while she laughs at your odd question, you grab a pocket full of used condoms and exclaim "I have already gotten rid of a shitload of them!" and watch her lips tremble with anticipation.

Both of these are foolproof.

[JeeberD]

So which one of those gems did you use on Miss Arlington, duckie?

[Lorena]

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

[Johnny Slick]

"My love for you is like a truck. Do you like the making fuck?"

or...

"Hi. My penis is very large. I thought you should know this. Would you like to have sex with my large penis later on tonight? I do not live with my mother and have a reasonably expensive car."

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

"Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?"

Ok I have to admit that this one would probably work on me. I'm so ashamed.

[Dutch]

"Are you from Memphis? 'Cause you're the only tenn I see..."

It never worked, but it should've.

[sachmo71]

"Do you have a vagina? No, just curious."

[duckman]

"Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!"

[Pumpy Tudors]

"Do you have a vagina? No, just curious."
More like "Do you have a vagina? No? Just curious."

am i rite

[st.cronin]

More like "Do you have a vagina? No? Just curious."

am i rite

ha

[WSUCougar]

"Sometimes, at night, the ice weasels come."

[Coffee Warlord]

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

[duckman]

"Sex is a killer...want to die happy?"

[Lorena]

"Did you hurt your head when that angel dropped you from heaven?"

[Izulde]

"Hi. You've enchanted me. Want to be my happy ending?"

[BishopMVP]

If you're going for one night stands with gold-digging whores, I find rather than buying the girl a drink you find the hottest girl at the bar then go stand next to her and pay for your drink with a hundred. You're not flaunting the money, but she'll notice.

WSU - I've actually used the ice weasels one before. Also tried throwing peanuts at a girl while yelling lightning bolt and asked a girl what the scariest thing in the world was. The answer: a rhinocerous about to charge your ass.

And there's my personal favorite, "You look familiar. Did we meet when I was blacked out?"

Then again, I've never picked up a girl from a bar and only pull girls at house parties.

[Noop]

Age: _______
Height: ______
Weight: ______
Bra Size: ______
Jeans Size: ______
Mileage (# of men and women): _______
Give Head? _________
Swallow? ________
Would you take a beating standing up or lying down? ______________
Cook? ______
Clean? ________
Psychotic Ex-Boyfriend? _________
Shaved, Trimmed, or bushy? __________
Interested In A Threesome? ___________
Phone# __________
Best time too call? __________

[mckerney]

"I may not be the best looking guy in the bar, but I'm the only one talking to you."

[korme]

Let's get hopped up and make some bad decisions

[korme]

Want to go half-and-half on a baby?

[Oilers9911]

"Would you want me more if I told you I was on an Internet message board asking for pickup lines earlier?"

[st.cronin]

Get in the truck, bitch.

[Critch]

"My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in"

"Get your coat, dear. You've pulled"

[duckman]

"I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven."

[duckman]

"I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated."

[st.cronin]

"What knockers!"

Note: Only works if she's a Mel Brooks fan.

[duckman]

"Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to."

[st.cronin]

I just want to smell it. Please?

[Neon_Chaos]

"Hi. My name is ____, and you are? I just want to say that I don't think those shoes don't go with that dress."

Have fun. :)

[korme]

Yes, slight insults are really the way to go. They will either be immediately turned away or slightly intrigued. It's a roll of the dice that is often a winner!

[Julio Riddols]

Yeah, I usually just play craps next to a lady and most of the time it seems to work.

Chicks dig daddies who need new pairs of shoes.

[CU Tiger]

I wish you were a carousel outside wal-mart. Id bring a pocket full of quarters and ride all day...

Im no Fred Flintstone, but Ill make your bedrock


Before we went out me and my homies was playin scrabble. I had the "F" the "C" and the "K" finally I found u....

[bignej]

If you really want to get a mixed reaction try this....

Hi my name is ["insert name here"] and I am hung like a hockey puck. It is funny to wacth the girls' facial expressions when she is visualizing this.

Imagine their reaction when I tell them I'm hung like a trashcan lid.

[Groundhog]

We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Your choice.

[Schmidty]

Hi, I'm married.

[Easy Mac]

If you really want cock in the mouth, come home with me.

(only works at KFC, Zaxby's, or some other chicken joint)

[SFL Cat]

Borrow an idea from an old Steve Martin movie, "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid."

Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that your breasts are out of whack. Why don't you let me adjust them for you...it would only take a minute.

[Lorena]

"Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle."

[Pumpy Tudors]

Hi, I'm married.
This actually works. :(

[duckman]

"Those are some nice legs. What time do they open?"

[judicial clerk]

just become a firefighter, then they will be using pickup lines on you.

[MizzouRah]

It's tough being a single dad. :)

[larrymcg421]

"Is it possible to fudge a bank statement?"

[EagleFan]

"You do know, I am both cocky and funny..."

"Hi, I'm David Winters. Wanna see my beer tent?..." (okay, that one may not work that well)

[Crim]

"I'll suck your dick for ten dollars"

That would work on me, anyway.

[MizzouRah]

lol Crim...