Hell Atlantic's 1st Annual Super Bowl Siamese Fighting Fish Mega Battlethon

[Anthony]

so i'm gonna have my first super bowl party in my new house this year. nothing outrageous, it's gonna be more for couples (like 3 or 4 other couples) than for my single boyeez. anyway, i always gotta have a gimmick, something that sets my stuff apart from everyone else's. well, i'm gonna unveil my "1st Annual Super Bowl Siamese Fighting Fish Mega Battlethon on on on".

"what's a '1st Annual Super Bowl Siamese Fighting Fish Mega Battlethon on on on" you ask? i'm gonna have every couple bring in a bowl with a Siamese fighting fish and put $10 into a pot. the fish will then fight each other to the bloody death, and the winner of the fighting fish that emerges victorious (ie, alive) wins the money in the pot.

question:

would a battle royale type of fight work, with all the fish being crammed into a bowl and duking it out, Last Fish Standing style? or do i need some type of tourney, with pairing off the fish and advancing the winner of each round until there is one champion?

i've seen 2 fighting fish go at it, but i don't know what their group dynamic is when it's like 4 or 5 together.

your comments and pointers would be most welcome.

i may film the event, in case you're wondering.

[Maple Leafs]

Problem: you won't be able to tell the fish apart.

I suggest you get everyone to bring children instead.

Just my two cents.

[rkmsuf]

I think the battle royale is the way to go. Too much chance of draws and fish unable to continue from individual bouts.

[cartman]

We all know how it is going to end up. Your fish will be called "Dean Houston of the Sea" and win the event. Then you will proceed to screw a hoagie. Afterwards, you'll realize you all missed the actual viewing of the Super Bowl.

[rkmsuf]

Problem: you won't be able to tell the fish apart.

I suggest you get everyone to bring children instead.

Just my two cents.

Can't they like put little numbers on the fish?

[Anthony]

they come in different colors. like deep blue. deep red. some are a little mixture of both. but yes, that is a great point. we might have to do a tourney, with a blue fish vs red fish. i didn't think of that.

[Anthony]

here are the different types:

Siamese Fighting Fish (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.siamsbestbettas.com/images/betta2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.siamsbestbettas.com/&h=338&w=500&sz=21&tbnid=sL9-FRetAtTY0M:&tbnh=85&tbnw=127&hl=en&start=11&prev=/images%3Fq%3DSiamese%2BFighting%2BFish%2B%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG)


i LOVE THIS SHIT...check this shit out (found on Wikipedia):

Its characteristic aggressive responses are readily elicited by its own reflection in a mirror placed outside an aquarium. The capacity to turn aggressive behaviour on and off in this way, without putting the subject at the risk of physical damage inherent in staging an actual aggressive conflict, made the fish a popular subject of study by ethologists and comparative psychologists interested in studying aggression. There was a stream of research on the fish's aggressive behaviour from the 1970s, though this has reduced lately, partly because of new approaches to studying aggression arising out of sociobiology, and partly because it was realised that, even if no tissue damage was done, repeatedly eliciting aggressive responses in the fish might be a source of stress. Interesting results were obtained, however; for example, it was shown that the presentation of such an aggression-eliciting stimulus will act as an unconditional stimulus in classical conditioning, and as a reinforcer in operant conditioning. It is as if the fish finds the opportunity to attack another fish rewarding.

my Siamese Fighting Fish will know no mercy. it will have been bred to kill.

[rkmsuf]

this screams illegal doping scandal

[Anthony]

here's the thing though - if i do a tourney style type thing, wouldn't it take a while for the fish to die? if i had a Battle Royale type Mega Battlethon wouldn't it be over quicker? not sure i want this to be a half-time attraction (i plan on buying the Girls Gone Wild Halftime PPV) or if this should be like some type of side thing that goes on in conjunction with the game (since there will be girls there who have no interest in football and watch it for the commercials).

[rkmsuf]

here's the thing though - if i do a tourney style type thing, wouldn't it take a while for the fish to die? if i had a Battle Royale type Mega Battlethon wouldn't it be over quicker? not sure i want this to be a half-time attraction (i plan on buying the Girls Gone Wild Halftime PPV) or if this should be like some type of side thing that goes on in conjunction with the game (since there will be girls there who have no interest in football and watch it for the commercials).


so wait, this is a couples event and you are buying the girls gone wild. quite a scene man.

[Anthony]

so wait, this is a couples event and you are buying the girls gone wild. quite a scene man.

we're all adults. last year it was jsut myself and my wife, and we ordered the first GGW half time show (and i was soooo happy, cuz i really didn't wanna watch another Lingerie Bowl).

last year, this one chick Jammie (pronounced "jay mee") was showing her tits, and they were glorious orbs of delight. those things looked like something young wolves would want to suckle from out in the wilderness. i love Jammie. you can google her. you won't get the full effect, but you'll sense how wonderful they are. it was a good Super Bowl Party last year.

nudity always makes for fun times, especially hot chick nudity.

[rkmsuf]

we're all adults.



see that's where you are wrong.

[Anthony]

ok, i think i'm gonna go with the battle royale last man standing thing. i had hoped people would have been able to give me ideas.

[Ksyrup]

With 4 or 5 couples involved, I have to think that at least 2 or 3 wives will find this incredibly inhumane and be upset by it. At least, if my quadraplegic bullfrog swim contest is any indication.

[Anthony]

they're fish. who cares what they think? it's not less humane than a bullfight in Spain.

hey, that rhymed!

[rkmsuf]

how many fighting fish could you take?

[gottimd]

they're fish. who cares what they think? it's not less humane than a bullfight in Spain.

hey, that rhymed!
Are you insane
make the fight in 100% proof grain.

[Anthony]

Are you insane
make the fight in 100% proof grain.

one time when i was a teen i found a frog in this farm. so i took it home and put it in a fish bowl i had, and after a while i kinda got bored with it, so i started dumping all this rubbing alcohol on it. it started breathing real heavy, almost like it was suffocating (i assume it was in fact suffocating) so i decided to put it out of it's misery by killing it. so i started stabbing it with a sharp pencil.

[rkmsuf]

frog cruelty is a huge problem in this country

[Anthony]

wow, apparently betting on siamese fighting fish is a common thing:

http://ndnd.essortment.com/fightingfish_rbge.htm

"In most cases fighting fish are not picky eaters, accepting their food dead or alive".

that will be my fish.


speaking of frog cruelty, one time when my wife and i were dating and were watchign tv at my place, a mouse got stuck on a glue trap. it was a little embarassing, but what made it more awkward was that the mouse was making all this noise. i was all embarassed and was wishing it would stop. after a while i decided it was time for my wife (then my GF) to go. i kissed her goodbye, closed the door...and turned around and headed towards the mouse glue trap.

i had something evil in mind.

i took the glue trap with the mouse attached to it, and placed it in a plastic bag. i then put several pieces of paper in the bag. i went outside on the balcony, placed the bag on the floor and lit the papers on fire. i watched with eager bloodlust as the mouse burnt alive. in the end, as the embers died out and my anger was sated, i swept up the remains, which was of course an odd concoction of ash, melted plastic and seared flesh.

[Antmeister]

one time when i was a teen i found a frog in this farm. so i took it home and put it in a fish bowl i had, and after a while i kinda got bored with it, so i started dumping all this rubbing alcohol on it. it started breathing real heavy, almost like it was suffocating (i assume it was in fact suffocating) so i decided to put it out of it's misery by killing it. so i started stabbing it with a sharp pencil.

Isn't that how serial killers start out? :eek:

[rkmsuf]

Isn't that how serial killers start out? :eek:


First you have rubbing alcohol handy, then you have chloroform.

[Anthony]

First you have rubbing alcohol handy, then you have chloroform.

it was actually witch hazel, which i assume is the same thing.

http://waynesword.palomar.edu/images/withaz6b.jpg

[vex]

Isn't that how serial killers start out? :eek:
No, this is:

"i took the glue trap with the mouse attached to it, and placed it in a plastic bag. i then put several pieces of paper in the bag. i went outside on the balcony, placed the bag on the floor and lit the papers on fire. i watched with eager bloodlust as the mouse burnt alive.";)

[John Galt]

Isn't that how serial killers start out? :eek:

It's one of 3 major indicators.

HA, do you like playing with fire?

And I know you wouldn't admit it, but did you wet your bed as a child?

[rkmsuf]

It's one of 3 major indicators.

HA, do you like playing with fire?

And I know you wouldn't admit it, but did you wet your bed as a child?

as a child?

[Anthony]

No, this is:

"i took the glue trap with the mouse attached to it, and placed it in a plastic bag. i then put several pieces of paper in the bag. i went outside on the balcony, placed the bag on the floor and lit the papers on fire. i watched with eager bloodlust as the mouse burnt alive.";)

i was rather embarassed.

oddly enough, when i told my wife (then my GF) about it, she wasn't weirded out or anything. i felt like the cat that drops a dead mouse by the feet of it's owner. of course the owner is kinda put off by it, but you can't help but feel honored that the cat did it for you. it was kinda like that.

[Anthony]

It's one of 3 major indicators.

HA, do you like playing with fire?

And I know you wouldn't admit it, but did you wet your bed as a child?

yes. i wet my bed (infrequently) until i believe i was about 5.

i had 2 incidents at school where i wet my pants as well. damn Catholic school nuns and their intimidating glares, making me scared to ask for permission to use the restroom. :mad:

[rkmsuf]

yes. i wet my bed (infrequently) until i believe i was about 5.

i had 2 incidents at school where i wet my pants as well. damn Catholic school nuns and their intimidating glares, making me scared to ask for permission to use the restroom. :mad:

I had that once in Catholic school. Was so scared to raise my hand it was like the clock game on the price is right. I didn't make the showcase showdown. Somehow I could raise my hand after it happened though.

[John Galt]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacDonald_Triad

[Anthony]

oh, and regarding playing with fire, the only other time i ever burnt something alive was when i caught a Praying Mantis. i put it in a brown paper bag. i was rather impressionable as a young teen then, and i was reading my metal guitar mags. i read an article by this guitarist named Trey Azogthoth (i believe that was his name) from this hardcore death metal band (i wasn't into that type of music). apparently Azogthoth is also the name of the god of death or some such in some dark religion he practiced. for some reason, on that day with the Praying Mantis in a brown paper bag, i was feeling rather evil or something and i borrowed a marker from my friend (i was over his house) and i went up the block and into an alley and drew one of those upside down stars (i forget what they're called, "satanic star"?) and offered the Praying Mantis as a sacrifice to Azogthoth. after the burning i felt i did something really bad with my soul, so i got scared and i said like a bunch of "Our Father" prayers and didn't ever do something like that until the mouse incident.

[Anthony]

I had that once in Catholic school. Was so scared to raise my hand it was like the clock game on the price is right. I didn't make the showcase showdown. Somehow I could raise my hand after it happened though.

the other time it happened i was in the middle of taking a test and i was just too freaked out to ask. i must have been 6 cuz i was in 1st grade.

[vex]

i was rather embarassed.

oddly enough, when i told my wife (then my GF) about it, she wasn't weirded out or anything. i felt like the cat that drops a dead mouse by the feet of it's owner. of course the owner is kinda put off by it, but you can't help but feel honored that the cat did it for you. it was kinda like that.
At least you know who your owner is:D

[Anthony]

Trey Azagthoth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trey_Azagthoth)

EDIT: apparently, this is the demon i made the sacrifice to:

Azathoth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azathoth)

scary stuff

[Loren]

**makes a note to send peta ha's info**

[Eaglesfan27]

It's one of 3 major indicators.

HA, do you like playing with fire?

And I know you wouldn't admit it, but did you wet your bed as a child?
Yep, the triad is a warning sign for Conduct Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder.

[Anthony]

i looked up Antisocial Personality Disorder and i don't fit the description. i'm not a pyromaniac, one of the criteria for that triad, anyway.

don't be sad...cuz 2 outta 3 ain't bad
-Meatloaf

[Senator]

i looked up Antisocial Personality Disorder and i don't fit the description. i'm not a pyromaniac, one of the criteria for that triad, anyway.

don't be sad...cuz 2 outta 3 ain't bad
-Meatloaf

Don't worry about. I am sure with the enthusiasm you have shown in other areas you will be a first rate serial killer in no time.

[wishbone]

When I moved out of my parent's place I rentedd a house that a guy was adding a bedroom and bathroom to. I paid $100/ month for a house and he got someone to watch his tools and stuff. The place had a mouse problem though, and they were gutsy. One day while watching TV, I heard noise in the kitchen and found 2 of them eating my cereal; another day they chewed up some bread, so I became a hunter of mice. One by one, I trapped and caught them alive. After the 4th or 5th one, I realized that they were getting smaller and slower. Until the last, which must have been the runt. Mice drown faster in hot water than cold and flush faster than turds. They also can survive for several days in a mayonaisse jar while running around and being spun during commercials.

Don't mess with my cereal...

[MizzouRah]

we're all adults. last year it was jsut myself and my wife, and we ordered the first GGW half time show (and i was soooo happy, cuz i really didn't wanna watch another Lingerie Bowl).

last year, this one chick Jammie (pronounced "jay mee") was showing her tits, and they were glorious orbs of delight. those things looked like something young wolves would want to suckle from out in the wilderness. i love Jammie. you can google her. you won't get the full effect, but you'll sense how wonderful they are. it was a good Super Bowl Party last year.

nudity always makes for fun times, especially hot chick nudity.I've seen Jammie and she is one hot chick. I wish I could be a young wolf and suckle on those babies. In fact, if I was a wonder twin I would make myself one of her bras so I could nessle up to those beauties.

[AZSpeechCoach]

As a former owner of betta fish...I am incredibly saddened by this :(

[rkmsuf]

uh, so?

[Eaglesfan27]

uh, so?
HA is still in the box.

[rkmsuf]

HA is still in the box.


wah? when did this happen?

[Eaglesfan27]

wah? when did this happen?

He made an inappropriate comment in his thread about Andrea Rincon.

[rkmsuf]

He made an inappropriate comment in his thread about Andrea Rincon.


That's a shame. Guy spends more time in the box than Peter North.

[JeeberD]

So how did the fish fry go, HA?

[Anthony]

So how did the fish fry go, HA?

people said they didn't think i was being serious. yeesh, not like i said i wanted to arm two small children and pit them against each other in a knife-fight. it was just fish.

i don't care, my boyeez said they wanted to do it, so it's just as well i do it without any girls around so i don't get any "awwwww, that one's about to die, let's just leave it alone" shit on videotape.