Speaking of wild animals...

[WSUCougar]

Had a discussion about wild animals yesterday at lunch. It was prompted by an exotic game hunting show that was on the TV in the restaurant (it was kind of a sports bar).
That led to my boss relating a story about a giant grizzly bear that reportedly ate two humans. The wildlife ranger apparently had to put over a dozen rounds into the damn thing to finally kill it. I’ve always thought grizzlies were the ultimate human hunters.

So...the question is this: What is your ultimate bad-ass wild animal? What’s the one critter you don’t want pissed off at you in the wild?

Obviously, some poisonous little skink doesn’t qualify, regardless of how deadly it might be. I’m talking FEARSOME.

I think my current top three would go:

1. Grizzly
2. Tiger
3. Alligator

[rkmsuf]

Hippo. Those f-ckers are cranky and mean and will tear your head off and sh*t down your neck at the drop of a hat.

Seriously.

[gottimd]

Hippo. Those f-ckers are cranky and mean and will tear your head off and sh*t down your neck at the drop of a hat.

Seriously.Remind me never to go to that play then
http://www.nodanw.com/shows_a/logos/atthedropofahat.gif

[albionmoonlight]

Polar Bears.

The only animals who routinely hunt humans for food (when the get a chance).

[gottimd]

Sharks.

[JPhillips]

Silverbacks. Did you see Planet of the Apes?

Great White Sharks. Did you see Jaws?

Lions. Did you see The Lion King?

[gottimd]

Gorillas can be pretty fierce too.

[albionmoonlight]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_funnel-web_spider

I saw a PBS Nature special on these once when I was a kid and it scared the heck out of me. I still think of these as some of the most dangerous animals on the planet.

[WSUCougar]

My grizzly would rip your gorilla's f'in head off.

Sharks? Just get out of the water. ;)

Polar bear is probably #4 on my list.

[rkmsuf]

Hippo would take them all.

[gottimd]

My grizzly would rip your gorilla's f'in head off.

Sharks? Just get out of the water. ;)

Polar bear is probably #4 on my list.
hahahahaha, well I didn't know that this was a whose animal would beat the hell out of the other, I thought it was a question of, if you were in the wild (jungle/ocean/molten lava/skydogs underwear drawer), what would be an animal you wouldn't want to run into?

My Gorilla/Ape is King Kong and he would Crush your Grizzly.

Sharks? You can't get out of the water, you now live in "waterworld".

[gottimd]

dola-

What about a werewolf?

[JPhillips]

I actually wanted to go with Rhinos, but for some odd reason Hollywood has forgotten the killer Rhino genre.

[Kodos]

A shark strapped to an elephant's back, just stomping and eating everything.

[rkmsuf]

dola-

What about a werewolf?


Advantage hippo. The meanest animal on earth will scare the pants off the werewolf.

[gottimd]

Advantage hippo. The meanest animal on earth will scare the pants off the werewolf.
And if the werewolf isn't wearing pants and has a fetish for hippo's?

[WSUCougar]

hahahahaha, well I didn't know that this was a whose animal would beat the hell out of the other, I thought it was a question of, if you were in the wild (jungle/ocean/molten lava/skydogs underwear drawer), what would be an animal you wouldn't want to run into?
True. But are you saying you'd rather run into a pissed off grizzly than a pissed off gorilla?

[rkmsuf]

And if the werewolf isn't wearing pants and has a fetish for hippo's?


Advantage new species.

[TargetPractice6]

True. But are you saying you'd rather run into a pissed off grizzly than a pissed off gorilla?I don't really have a preference. I imagine they would end equally bad.

[gottimd]

Advantage new species.Weretamus?

[rkmsuf]

Hippo would kick Ditkas ass.

[TroyF]

rk is right a about hippos. Those are some mean, nasty, son of a guns. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near one of em.

Grizzlies, Tigers, Lions, etc. are all things I wouldn't want to get involved with, but I'd rather deal with any of them but a hippo.

[rkmsuf]

Weretamus?

Hippawolf.

[rkmsuf]

rk is right a about hippos. Those are some mean, nasty, son of a guns. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near one of em.

Grizzlies, Tigers, Lions, etc. are all things I wouldn't want to get involved with, but I'd rather deal with any of them but a hippo.

I was concerned standing near one at a zoo. Ready to bolt at any sudden movement after the handler started talking about them and how they can't be alone with them or in or near the water with them and at any time they could decide to maul something.

[JPhillips]

WSU: I can give you the grizzly, but tiger and alligator are prissly little girl picks at best.

An alligator over a shark? You can pay ten bucks to any inbred in Florida and get him to wrestle an alligator, but there isn't anybody willing to wrestle a Great White.

The tiger isn't as obviously wrong, but I'd still take a Silverback. Silverbacks are just as physically dangerous and a lot smarter. Hell, I'm not even sure that Chuck Norris could take down a Silverback. And what about that cool name, Silverback. You are just willfully ignoring the obvious advantage in names.

Its rather clear that you just have a lot of prissy little girl fears of animals. "Mommy, Mommy, save me from the alligators and tigers!"

:p

[KevinNU7]

Any animal that can be domesticate or works for the circus should be excluded. I've never seen a hippo jumping through hoops or doing sign language.

[rkmsuf]

Any animal that can be domesticate or works for the circus should be excluded. I've never seen a hippo jumping through hoops or doing sign language.

they can't be domesticated. At least according to the trembling handler at the zoo.

[Butter]

Sharks with laser beams on their head.

[sterlingice]

This has all the makings of a great series of polls: The Animal Death Match Tourney.

For years, scientists have wondered what the fiercest animal was and now we will find out! Hippo versus shark! Tiger versus bear! Gator versus monkey! All in a steel cage death match tourney!

SI

[gottimd]

they can't be domesticated. At least according to the trembling handler at the zoo.
You could domesticate it, if you keep it HEAVILY DOPED UP on some powerful stuff, and keep it in one of those kiddie swimming pools on your front yard.

[Raven Hawk]

1. Polar Bear - When you live in the arctic, anything that isn't snow is food.
2. Black Panther - They're crafty and when you're hunting them . . . they're hunting you.
3. Hippopotamus - They'll knock you over and take you're lunch money.

[AnalBumCover]

I can't believe no one's said "Colossal Squid" yet.

[SFL Cat]

Naked mole rat

[rkmsuf]

Naked mole rat

They are right there. I saw them at the National Zoo in Washington. Pure terror being in a room with those.

[SFL Cat]

tag team: naked mole rat and trout -- will take all comers.

[gottimd]

They are right there. I saw them at the National Zoo in Washington. Pure terror being in a room with those.
You set foot in this area, and you didn't say anything. I am sending a Weretamus after you!!!

[KWhit]

What about a werewolf driving a car?

[SFL Cat]

NASWOLF?

INDYWOLF?

[JPhillips]

RKMSUF: Don't worry. If they're at the National Zoo its only a matter of time before the zookeepers kill them.

[TroyF]

they can't be domesticated. At least according to the trembling handler at the zoo.


Question: Why the hell would you want to domesticate them?

Christ, they can open their jaws bigger than a small truck, get pissed off and attack at a moments notice and aren't exactly what you'd call the cutest things in the world.

I watched a special on NG where one of the damned things killed it's own kid. They can't even domesticate around each other. No thanks. Those things are alone enough to make me ever even consider a trip to Africa.

Yet my dram vacation is Australia, poison capital of the world. Go figure.

[Airhog]

As my favorite outdoor writer Pat McManus would say "Urusla Horribulus"

The Cow my friend, the cow

[Surtt]

It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

[Desnudo]

My grizzly would rip your gorilla's f'in head off.

Sharks? Just get out of the water. ;)

Polar bear is probably #4 on my list.

http://ultrawarp.com/chevy/snl/land%20shark.jpg

[AlexB]

It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

Especially when it has the horn...

[sterlingice]

Tick: {groggily} "The.. ancient cave bear... battling it's natural enemy... the robot." [wav (http://www.thetick.ws/wavs/ep35/robot.wav)]

SI

[lighthousekeeper]

A shark strapped to an elephant's back, just stomping and eating everything.

wow - that's deep.

[SFL Cat]

Is there anyone replying in this thread who isn't inebriated?

[Craptacular]

Sharks with laser beams on their head.
I still think ill-tempered mutated sea bass are worse.

[sabotai]

That led to my boss relating a story about a giant grizzly bear that reportedly ate two humans. The wildlife ranger apparently had to put over a dozen rounds into the damn thing to finally kill it. I’ve always thought grizzlies were the ultimate human hunters.I heard this story before. Could have sworn it was here that I saw it (and it turned out to be an urban (well rural) legend).

Anyway, the most bad ass animal in the world is the Japanese Hornet.

[Anthony]

http://www.thekorn.net/tgom/xmas_2003_outtakes/thekorn.jpg

[WSUCougar]

Mom's got game.
Bear crashes hockey game, mom saves kids

By Paul Waldie
Toronto Globe and Mail — Feb. 21, 2006

IVUJIVIK, Quebec — Lydia Angyiou's kids sure won't be giving her much trouble any more, now that they've seen her wrestle a 700-pound polar bear.

Angyiou lives in Ivujivik, a village of 300 people on the shore of Hudson Bay in northern Quebec.

One Wednesday evening earlier this month, Angyiou was walking near the village community center with her two sons when a group of children playing street hockey nearby started shouting and pointing frantically.

Angyiou, 41, turned around and saw a polar bear sizing up her 7-year-old son.

She told the children to run and raced around to get between the bear and her son. Then she started kicking and punching the animal, according to police reports.

In a flash, the bear swatted her in the face and she fell on her back. With the bear on top of her, Angyiou began kicking her legs in a bicycle-pedaling motion. She was swatted once more and rolled over, but the bear moved toward her again.

Siqualuk Ainalik heard the commotion and came rushing over. Seeing Angyiou wrestling with the bear, he ran to his brother's home, grabbed a rifle and headed back to the street. He fired a few warning shots.

The sound diverted the bear's attention from Angyiou just long enough for him to aim and fire again. According to police, Ainalik fired four shots into the bear before it finally died.

With the help of some neighbors, Angyiou made it to the home of Nelson Conn, a constable with the Kativik Regional Police Force.

"She came in in a panic," Conn recalled. "She was obviously in shock. She was saying, 'Bear, bear.' I just took her over to our nursing station and I asked where and if the bear was dead. She said, 'Yes.'"

Remarkably, Angyiou suffered only a couple of scratches and a black eye. She and the local police have been fielding calls from across Canada ever since the incident was first reported last week in the Nunatsiaq News.

Meanwhile, villagers are still marveling at her courage, and there is talk of nominating her for a bravery medal.

"I've been here 24 years and I've never seen this before," said Larry Hubert, a regional captain with the police force who arrived on the scene just after the bear was shot. "For sure, she saved the kids' lives."

Hubert has known Angyiou for 15 years and he can't believe she took on a bear. He said the bear measured eight feet in length and weighed at least 700 pounds.

Angyiou "is about 5-foot-nothing and 90 pounds on a wet day," Hubert said with a laugh. "She's pretty quiet. I'm surprised she went and did this.

"But I guess when your back is up against the wall, I guess we come up with super-human strength."

Ivujivik is Quebec's northernmost community, situated on a peninsula where the Hudson Bay meets the Hudson Strait.

While polar bears roam the giant ice packs that float just off shore, Hubert said it's rare for them to wander into the village. He said he believes the bear that tangled with Angyiou became disoriented and was not looking for food.

"She's lucky the bear wasn't hungry," he said. "If the bear was hungry, she would have been eaten pretty quickly."

[sterlingice]

Where did you find this version of the story? It's better written than the others I can find.

SI