OT: Fired From Wingman Duty!

[DeToxRox]

Alright .. let's tell a little story.

Tonight my buddy needed a wingman so he could take this girl out he likes. I figured I'd be nice, and do it since he offered to pay. This was my first inclination this other girl I'd be keeping busy was .. well yeah. So anyways, we go bowling. This girl comes in and yeah. No pix plz. Anyways. We bowl for a bit, and I get bored. She notices and says, "wanna go outside?". So I do it so my buddy gets some alone time. So far, I'm Iceman. So anyways we go outside and yeah. She ends up visting my border (.. Work safe word).

Note: C'mon .. Who passes that up?

So anyways .. We go inside and I see my buddy by himself, so I assume his lady friend is in the bathroom or something. Well I didn't realize she was still bowling. So as I tell my buddy what happened in vivid detail, this girl walks up and hears everything. Needless to say she aborted the mission.

So anyways .. my days of wingman are done.

Anyone else with such tragic/heroic tales?

[Anthony]

you can't feel bad. in war - there will be casualties. i don't know how that relates to this story, but your friend is a fag if he gets pissed cuz you turned a lemon into lemonade. as long as one of you guys got play then it was a successful mission.

[cthomer5000]

Little did your friend know that he would be the wingman tonight.

[DeToxRox]

Little did your friend know that he would be the wingman tonight.

Valid point. Plans change. Always have a plan B.

[Desnudo]

Alright .. let's tell a little story.

Tonight my buddy needed a wingman so he could take this girl out he likes. I figured I'd be nice, and do it since he offered to pay. This was my first inclination this other girl I'd be keeping busy was .. well yeah. So anyways, we go bowling. This girl comes in and yeah. No pix plz. Anyways. We bowl for a bit, and I get bored. She notices and says, "wanna go outside?". So I do it so my buddy gets some alone time. So far, I'm Iceman. So anyways we go outside and yeah. She ends up visting my border (.. Work safe word).

Note: C'mon .. Who passes that up?

So anyways .. We go inside and I see my buddy by himself, so I assume his lady friend is in the bathroom or something. Well I didn't realize she was still bowling. So as I tell my buddy what happened in vivid detail, this girl walks up and hears everything. Needless to say she aborted the mission.

So anyways .. my days of wingman are done.

Anyone else with such tragic/heroic tales?

So what did you being a wingman have to do with getting handjob from an unattractive woman?

[DeToxRox]

So what did you being a wingman have to do with getting handjob from an unattractive woman?

Not an HJ. I don't know whats bannable anymore but obviously that cuts down on the options.

Anyways, I was there to run interference on the girl my buddy wanteds friend. This girl doesn't like doing the whole first date thing one on one so she has a friend come along. In my opinion I did a bang up job; the girl just so happens to have a dolphin-esque sonar.

[Izulde]

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

[ice4277]

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.
No offense, but I don't know if you are the guy who should be dishing out relationship advice in such an authoritative manner.

[Izulde]

No offense, but I don't know if you are the guy who should be dishing out relationship advice in such an authoritative manner.

Who said anything about a relationship?

[tucker rocky]

Sometimes the best love can "come" ;) from the not so good looking ones.

[Izulde]

Sometimes the best love can "come" ;) from the not so good looking ones.

There's a difference between not so good looking and straight up ugly though

[tucker rocky]

If shes willing to do the deed, its alright by me.

[tucker rocky]

quote by DeToxRoxDVHStyle
Note: C'mon .. Who passes that up?

:thumbups:

[Honolulu_Blue]

Well done, DeTox. Don't worry about it. Your boy will get over it and it will be something you'll laugh and laugh about in no time.

Hell, now that I'm in the area, if I weren't already married you could be my wingman anytime...

[Drake]

If the team leader can't get it lined up, sometimes it's up to the wingman to take the shot. If the wingman has the shot, the leader is bound by the rules of war to step aside and let him take it.

Didn't you learn anything from Top Gun?

[MrBug708]

beauty is always a lightswitch away

[ShovelMonkey]

Hell I'd let anybody pay a little lip service to the nether regions....looks don't count there.

Of course by my standards looks don't count for actually doing the deed as well....kind of like a moped, fun to ride but don't tell your friends.

[Young Drachma]

Championship thread.

[pennywisesb]

Hell I'd let anybody pay a little lip service to the nether regions....looks don't count there.

Of course by my standards looks don't count for actually doing the deed as well....kind of like a moped, fun to ride but don't tell your friends.

:D

[DeToxRox]

beauty is always a lightswitch away

Most insightful post ever.

[DeToxRox]

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

It was more about passing time.

I dunno, I find that more fun then bowling.

[DeToxRox]

There's a difference between not so good looking and straight up ugly though

In my defense .. if you looked at her from about 100 yards away, with your eyes squinted and it was aprox. 2 am, she looked a lot like Haley Duff.

[DeToxRox]

Well done, DeTox. Don't worry about it. Your boy will get over it and it will be something you'll laugh and laugh about in no time.

Hell, now that I'm in the area, if I weren't already married you could be my wingman anytime...

That's the 248 for you.

Ice knows.

[DeToxRox]

Hell I'd let anybody pay a little lip service to the nether regions....looks don't count there.

Of course by my standards looks don't count for actually doing the deed as well....kind of like a moped, fun to ride but don't tell your friends.

Okay .. maybe the most insightful post ever.

This thread is full of a new generation of Socrates, Aristotles and other such philosophers.

[sovereignstar]

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree.

How about an ugly man?

[Anthony]

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

why do you do this to me? seriously.

[Anthony]

In my defense .. if you looked at her from about 100 yards away, with your eyes squinted and it was aprox. 2 am, she looked a lot like Haley Duff.


i like you. word up.

[Anthony]

one time when i was in college i was bombed after an hour of drinking (this college bar had all the draft beer you can drink for free from 3-4pm on thursdays). so some chicks had joined up with us. one was bangably cute, the other looked like she should have been a rancher or hunting wild game. when it was time for my drunk friend to drive me home (he's now a cop, go figure) i said goodbye to everyone and in my drunk state i said "if i were to start making out with the not-cute girl no one would ever say anything to me cuz i was drunk" so i said goodbye to her and leaned down and starting going at it with her. the funny thing was that she was sitting in the middle of the booth so i was making out with this non-model leaning over someone else.

years later i deduced that if i was sober enough to know that i wouldn't be held liable for my momentary lapse of judgement then i must not have been as drunk as i thought.

[Logan]

Any chick you'd hook up with while wasted, is just a chick that you would hook up with while sober, but would be embarassed about.

[Desmond]

I wouldn't say you were fired. It's more like you were given your release.

[Senator]

Jester's Dead.

[st.cronin]

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.

[Glengoyne]

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.Nah. It ain't so bad a deal if you just just sum things up. "Hey She #### me in the parking lot".... That conveys all the information necessary.

It's really the details that are the problem. I don't need a blow by blow http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/images/smilies/biggrin.gif account.

That's just Too Much Information!

[DeToxRox]

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.

Well, it was basically "Dude she just" and then obviously finish that. Yeah probably not the best idea but I was in shock, and I'm immature and had to tell someone about this newsworthy experience, and lo and behold, there happened to be a casualty.

[sovereignstar]

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.

Are you god damn serious?

[DaddyTorgo]

yeah not that i have a lot of experience in this department (and by a lot read: any) but that sure seems like quite the manly thing to do (describing wtf happened). Maybe not in a blow-by-blow way, but in a "hey man...i got play" kinda way

[dervack]

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.
Nope ugly women should not apply to you. Girls under the age of 15, please line up for Jestor/Izulde.

[DeToxRox]

As far as the whole ugly debate..

I don't find myself to be Brad Pitt but I still jack off.

I mean come on. Standards?!

[ice4277]

That's the 248 for you.

Ice knows.
Reprazent :cool:

[st.cronin]

Are you god damn serious?

Serious as a heart attack. What if, for example, his buddy had whiffed on his target, and had decided to move on to the girl in question. The right thing to do is allow him some dignity.

[Desnudo]

Bowling, ugly women, blow jobs in the parking lot. I'm missing where dignity enters the picture.

[Deattribution]

Serious as a heart attack. What if, for example, his buddy had whiffed on his target, and had decided to move on to the girl in question. The right thing to do is allow him some dignity.

Then he saved his buddy some trouble by finding out she goes down like a sack of potatoes from the top of a tree house.

[DeToxRox]

Bowling, ugly women, blow jobs in the parking lot. I'm missing where dignity enters the picture.

It doesn't. It really wouldn't tie the story together.

[DeToxRox]

Update: Girl tried adding me on facebook, I declined.

I hope it ends this chapter of my life.

[sovereignstar]

Alright, let's see the beast.

[pennywisesb]

Update: Girl tried adding me on facebook, I declined.

I hope it ends this chapter of my life.

:p

Nothing like the facebook decline to send a message....

[DeToxRox]

:p

Nothing like the facebook decline to send a message....

It's a firm foot down.

[sovereignstar]

Pardon the interruption, but a question has arised...

What was going through your mind when she asked if you wanted to go outside? What did you think she had in mind? What was her body language like when she asked?

[DeToxRox]

Pardon the interruption, but a question has arised...

What was going through your mind when she asked if you wanted to go outside? What did you think she had in mind? What was her body language like when she asked?

Basically I figured do you want to go somewhere else. Because she went for the car, and I had the keys to his car. I just wanted some food. I was starved though, so I might've been worried about taco bell moreso then whatever the hell she was doing.

Oh .. and the TB that night .. Fucking awesome.

[sovereignstar]

Basically I figured do you want to go somewhere else. Because she went for the car, and I had the keys to his car. I just wanted some food. I was starved though, so I might've been worried about taco bell moreso then whatever the hell she was doing.

Oh .. and the TB that night .. Fucking awesome.

So Taco Bell first, then BJ? Or BJ, then Taco Bell?

OR BJ while Taco Bell?? :eek:

[DeToxRox]

So Taco Bell first, then BJ? Or BJ, then Taco Bell?

OR BJ while Taco Bell?? :eek:

BJ then TB

And the TB was better. I won't lie.

[DeToxRox]

Dola .. The thought of TB had to of been what kept me hard.

[sovereignstar]

BJ then TB

And the TB was better. I won't lie.

I've only received one BJ that was better than any Taco Bell I've had, so that's not surprising.

Did she order Taco Bell? Drive-thru or did you guys go inside? Did she make a stop in the ladies room?

[DeToxRox]

I've only received one BJ that was better than any Taco Bell I've had, so that's not surprising.

Did she order Taco Bell? Drive-thru or did you guys go inside? Did she make a stop in the ladies room?

I didn't take her TB. She left with her friend after the "incident". So to cheer my buddy up we went to TB. I was going there regardless.

[DeToxRox]

And yead, pretty much Taco Bell at 2 AM is better then head 9 times out of 10. Nothing (most of the time) against the girls, but, a good taco from taco bell, is basically like sex as it is.

[sovereignstar]

Chalupa>Spicy Burrito>Taco>BJ

[DeToxRox]

Chalupa>Spicy Burrito>Taco>BJ

I'm assuming with a sauce? If so, yeah, I'd concur.

[DeToxRox]

I'm assuming with a sauce? If so, yeah, I'd concur.

I should add .. hot sauce.

[JeeberD]

BJ then TB


Thank god. TB then BJ would have stung like a mother if she was messy with her Fire Sauce...

[ice4277]

Thank god. TB then BJ would have stung like a mother if she was messy with her Fire Sauce...
Not to mention that nothing ruins the moment right like letting a juicy one rip right in the middle of a little action.

[Eaglesfan27]

Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of TB, but I can't imagine any fast food (or just about any food) being better than a BJ.

[DeToxRox]

Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of TB, but I can't imagine any fast food (or just about any food) being better than a BJ.

My old goalie coach used to say, "whats the best blow job you've ever had? the next one. what's worst blow job you've ever had? no such thing as one".

Yet .. I digress totally with that statement. Still he was funny.

[sovereignstar]

Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of TB, but I can't imagine any fast food (or just about any food) being better than a BJ.

Well, I'm a starving college student. I'd venture to say that younger girls, while probably more apt to give BJ's, more than often don't know what they're doing.

[DeToxRox]

Well, I'm a starving college student. I'd venture to say that younger girls, while probably more apt to give BJ's, more than often don't know what they're doing.

Here, here.

[sovereignstar]

I'd recommend that girls watch two sex tapes in particular:

a) the Paris Hilton one
b) the Jenna Lewis (from Survivor) one

Jenna *really* knows what she's doing.

[RendeR]

I'm sorry, but any guy who thinks TACO BELL is better than pretty much ANY sexual act has any of few problems:

1: They're clueless
2: They're too young to know what sexual acts are
3: Have absolutely no taste buds
4: might not be male
5: IS fuglier than the chick in question and hence has a skewed frame of reference


More may be added at Sov, Detox and others expense at any time ;)

[sovereignstar]

I stand by all my comments made in this thread.

[RendeR]

I stand by all my comments made in this thread.
That's ok Sov, we know your knowledge and taste when it comes to women is about as high as the president's popularity rating ;)









J/K :P

[DeToxRox]

I'm sorry, but any guy who thinks TACO BELL is better than pretty much ANY sexual act has any of few problems:

1: They're clueless
2: They're too young to know what sexual acts are
3: Have absolutely no taste buds
4: might not be male
5: IS fuglier than the chick in question and hence has a skewed frame of reference

1. Somethings, sure. This, nope.
2. Differ to be begged.
3. Taste buds .. no .. Screening process you can have.
4. Hopefully.
5. I'd do myself.

[Karlifornia]

I'm sorry, but any guy who thinks TACO BELL is better than pretty much ANY sexual act has any of few problems:

1: They're clueless
2: They're too young to know what sexual acts are
3: Have absolutely no taste buds
4: might not be male
5: IS fuglier than the chick in question and hence has a skewed frame of reference


More may be added at Sov, Detox and others expense at any time ;)


Hey, Andrew Dice Clay, pretty hard to find a gig in upstate New York I'm guessing. OHHH!

[DeToxRox]

Hey, Andrew Dice Clay, pretty hard to find a gig in upstate New York I'm guessing. OHHH!

lmao.

[pennywisesb]

Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of TB, but I can't imagine any fast food (or just about any food) being better than a BJ.

I enjoy Taco Bell just as much as the next guy, but I agree with Eaglesfan27, TB is never better than a BJ. I think Sov and Detox need to make a trip out to California and I'll introduce you to some of my lady friends....

[RendeR]

Hey, Andrew Dice Clay, pretty hard to find a gig in upstate New York I'm guessing. OHHH!
This would be funny if you had passed geography, Buffalo is NOT upstate NY =)

Buffalo is Western NY, Albany, Syracuse, Poughkeepsie, thats UPSTATE, NY

Then there is that cess pool that calls itself an apple....

[Glengoyne]

I'd recommend that girls watch two sex tapes in particular:

a) the Paris Hilton one
b) the Jenna Lewis (from Survivor) one

Jenna *really* knows what she's doing.OK Really there are very few food items I would give up a BJ for. None of those are located at Taco Bell. The only reason I would give up a BJ for any food item is my security that sooner or later I'll get another BJ...Almost certainly sooner if I pass one up.

Now for the Jenna Lewis sex tape. This is new news. I'm going to be looking into this tonight. This is freely available via a google search..correct?

That said..the Chloe Sevingy(sp?) BJ in that rabbit movie would make for a good training film as well.

[Karlifornia]

This would be funny if you had passed geography, Buffalo is NOT upstate NY =)

Buffalo is Western NY, Albany, Syracuse, Poughkeepsie, thats UPSTATE, NY

Then there is that cess pool that calls itself an apple....


Which is the snowy part with the team that never wins the super bowl? Is that western or upstate?

[Noop]

Getting a BJ is always nice. Getting a BJ that makes me *** then that is very good. Getting a BJ and she swallows, leaving no mess.... well thats just fucking great. Taco Bell ain't that good.

[sovereignstar]

Now for the Jenna Lewis sex tape. This is new news. I'm going to be looking into this tonight. This is freely available via a google search..correct?

Peer-to-peer is your best bet. Like BearShare or Limewire.

[st.cronin]

Of course Buffalo is 'upstate New York.' Anything beyond Westchester County, and potentially even outside New York City (depending on how snobby you want to get) is 'upstate New York.'

[Glengoyne]

Of course Buffalo is 'upstate New York.' Anything beyond Westchester County, and potentially even outside New York City (depending on how snobby you want to get) is 'upstate New York.'That's how I always understood it....Of course I'm from California, so what do I know, other than a BJ is always better then Taco Bell.