Analyze This, Please

[Coffee Warlord]

Haven't had a good real life saga involving a female in awhile. And, well, this came out of the left field.

Backstory: In an absolutey shocker, one of my best friends got divorced in October after 5ish years of marriage. I always got along well with her as well. Hell, stood up at their wedding. They remain friends now, the basic excuse was they simply didn't work well together as husband and wife. I can confirm with 99.9% certainty neither side cheated on each other. They got married too young, and they just discovered they wanted different things. This is the basic story I got from both sides (and from one of HER best friends, so basically, I think it's accurate).

Anyway. Haven't spoken with her since I moved back up here in May, so it's been at least a year since I've talked with her. Fast forward to today.

9:30am. Phone rings. I answer. It's her.

...what the fuck!?!?

Proceeds to go on and on about how she hopes I don't hate her, how she's feeling so bad for Jeff (her ex), as he's miserable and depressed, and how happy she is I've been getting him out and about, et cetera et cetera. All the while I'm sort of trying to figure out how exactly I became the emotional sponge for her out the the damn blue. Goes on and on, explaining why they got divorced, all these little bad events, blah blah blah. You get the point.

Now, I place this in the hands of the Peanut Gallery. Where in the holy hell did THIS come from?

[bbor]

She's trying to find out if his life is better than hers right now?

[path12]

Run. As fast as you can.

[KWhit]

She was fishing for information.

[KWhit]

She was fishing for information.
Or possibly your penis. Not sure which.

[Coffee Warlord]

She has plenty. Those two talk fairly regularly.

[bbor]

She has plenty.


Of penis?:D

[stevew]

Man, I was thinking, they made another Sequel to THAT movie?

[darth vader]
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
[/darth vader]

[stevew]

dola

I think she wants some. Although there is the ever so slight chance that she was fishing for info, as others said. Depends on which one of her ladders you are on I suppose.

[KWhit]

Man, I was thinking, they made another Sequel to THAT movie?

[darth vader]
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
[/darth vader]
I think they did make a sequel. It was called Analyze That. I think.

[GoldenEagle]

How hot is this chick? Does she did peguin hats? Would you hit it twice or she just doable?

This is all valuable info.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

How hot is this chick? Does she did peguin hats? Would you hit it twice or she just doable?

This is all valuable info.
Yeah. If she looks like Rosie O'Donnell on a bad day I don't think there is any point in there being any discussion here.

[Crim]

Yeah. If she looks like Rosie O'Donnell on a bad day I don't think there is any point in there being any discussion here.


Uhhh, is there any such thing as "Rosie O'Donnell on a good day"?!? <shudder>

[KeyserSoze]

I don´t know how it sound in english, but there is an old spanish quote for these kind of situations.

"In case of doubt, f**ck first, ask later"

[Ben E Lou]

there is an old spanish quote for these kind of situations.

"In case of doubt, f**ck first, ask later"STOP THAT, Keyser. STOP IT! You just made me laugh out loud enough to be concerned about waking up my wife in the other room. :p

[Noop]

I would ask for a blowjob.

Aint nothing wrong with getting a little head
Especially when you getting head on your best friends bed.

[Coffee Warlord]

This woman is hot. Smoking hot.

Which makes it all the more problematic. If she DOES want my penis, how weird would that be.

[sachmo71]

A number of possibilities here, all of which could be misinterpreted and cause you to lose your friendship with her\become branded as a freak\get you into bed with her.

1. She wants you to tell her ex that she's being supportive
2. She wants you to think that she cares about her ex because she wants to divide up the friendship spoils
3. She wants you to tell her ex good things about her because she misses him
4. She's pulling a "Midway" on you
5. She likes you and wants to talk with you
6. She was drunk and (any of the above). Maybe it won't happen again
7. She wants to hurt her ex by calling you, knowing you will tell him

And so on. Just don't get sucked in and risk your friendship with the ex. Sounds like he needs you more than she does.

[KWhit]

And so on. Just don't get sucked in and risk your friendship with the ex. Sounds like he needs you more than she does.
BUT SHE'S HAWT!!!!

[sachmo71]

BUT SHE'S HAWT!!!!


Hot or not, no piece of ass is worth a friendship, IMO.

[KWhit]

BUT SHE'S HAWT!!!

[klayman]

We cannot possibly analyze the situation completely without pics. k tks.

[DanGarion]

dola

I think she wants some. Although there is the ever so slight chance that she was fishing for info, as others said. Depends on which one of her ladders you are on I suppose.
That's The Ladder Theory (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html) for those of you playing at home.

[DanGarion]

Hot or not, no piece of ass is worth a friendship, IMO.
Depends on the friendship...

[Coffee Warlord]

Hot or not, no piece of ass is worth a friendship, IMO.

Absolutely agree. Fucking morals.

[Greyroofoo]

When in doubt whip it out

[Butter]

Man, I was thinking, they made another Sequel to THAT movie?

[darth vader]
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
[/darth vader]

Yeah, only this time it wouldn't be Billy Crystal and DeNiro, it would be "C"-list talent like Jay Mohr and that guy from The Sopranos (seriously, any guy from there, since all of their non-Sopranos careers pretty much suck).