Sometimes I...

[Kodos]

... like to push the car in front of me out into the intersection.



What do you sometimes do?

[VPI97]

masturbate

[rkmsuf]

tape my buns together

[VPI97]

dola -

http://www.fof-ihof.com/phpBB2/images/smiles/icon_fap.gif

[Maple Leafs]

That's just stupid.

What you need to do is get a friend, and both pull up on either side of a car at a stoplight. Then, on a signal, you both shift to reverse and start slowly rolling backwards. The victim will think they're rolling forward and start frantically slamming brakes, pulling parking brakes, etc.

Bonus points if you do it at a train crossing. If you're really good, you can make them jump out of their car and run.

[Kodos]

Cuz there are all sorts of train crossings where there are three lanes going in the same direction.

[rkmsuf]

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

[gottimd]

I defecate in my wifes pillowcases.

[JeeberD]

...go to class.

[Kodos]

... wear mittens.

[Anthony]

look and masturbate to pics of women nursing twins (tandem nursing).

[CamEdwards]

look and masturbate to pics of women nursing twins (tandem nursing).

I will not give you pixplskthx.

[gottimd]

I will not give you pixplskthx.
What if he said triplets?

[DeToxRox]

I like to get mono, go into public places and make out with random girls.

[SFL Cat]

back out of threads slowly....

like this one, for instance.

[bbor]

Pee sitting down.

[Kodos]

Crap standing up.

[sachmo71]

...wonder how my company actually releases code.

[st.cronin]

Sometimes I fantasize about running my very own NFL franchise.

[gottimd]

I fantasize about St. Cronin running his very own NFL Franchise.

[Eaglesfan27]

Imagine moving to the Virgin Islands and starting a practice there.

[duckman]

Break off the driver side mirror of cars that park too close to mine.

[WSUCougar]

...chase after gottimd with a giant (not colossal) squid that looks like Tori Spelling.

[gottimd]

...chase after gottimd with a giant (not colossal) squid that looks like Tori Spelling.
So if you are running with it, I won't hear the slurfing now?

[WSUCougar]

No, you would...the tentacles still dangle. Do you have hardwood floors?

[Riggins44]

...ponder what it would cost to have a vagina installed on my gut. Then sit at sporting events with my shirt off and a creepy smile.

[bbor]

...wonder how my company actually releases code.

You work for Matrix games?

:D

[rkmsuf]

...ponder what it would cost to have a vagina installed on my gut. Then sit at sporting events with my shirt off and a creepy smile.

lol

[sachmo71]

You work for Matrix games?

:D


BURNINATION!!!

[Drake]

...think about letting the woman in the pit have her life back.

But not until it puts the lotion on its skin.

[sterlingice]

... like to push the car in front of me out into the intersection.
What do you sometimes do?This one is for that tentacled alien out ther ;) (not sure the lyrics are perfect since I CnP'd them from a non-standard lyrics site but a quick once over looks right)...

Folks, I's like to sing a song about the American dream. About me. About you. About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts-maybe below the cockles-maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we dont know.

(singing)

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job
My kids and my car
My feet on my table
And a cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
(oh no) Uh-uh (no way)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
(Oh yeah)
Yeah yeah
(Yeah yeah)
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime
Sayin', "How 'bout this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm asshole
(He's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Rainting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm
Wrong......

Nah!!

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)

(Screaming, now, the ultimate ugly American)
You know what I'm going do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertable - hot pink with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather interior and big brown baby seal eyes for the headlights. I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115mph, getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned nonbiodegradable containers. When I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers, I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why. Two words nuclear fuckin weapons, okay? Russia, Czechslovakia, Romania - they can have all the democracy they want, have a big democracy cakewalk walk through the middle of Tianamen Square and it won't make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs, okay?!

John Wayne's not dead - he's frozen. And as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiply that by 15,000,000 times - thats how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpah and a case of whisky and drive down to Texas...

(Hey)
and have a humongous barbecure-
(Hey)
we're gonna go to LBJ's ranch and start a bonfire
(Hey!)
and throw deer and rabbits and cats and old people, and-
(HEY!)
slow drivers and MIckey Rourke and - (HEY)
(You know something? You really are an asshole)
Shut up and sing the song

(He's an asshole)
You empty little simp. I thought I was the asshole-
(He's a real fucking asshole)
And it was him the whole time
(He's an asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
(everybody!)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
(barking) Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
(snapping) Chimg fump ching puh fluh cluh bing
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it.SI

[Wolfpack]

...find it's better to be somebody else.

*ducks* :)

[duckman]

Take a shit in a public restroom and don't flush the toliet when I'm done.

[B & B]

...use my necktie to steady my whiskey hand, as to not spill the sweet nectar.

[Kodos]

This one is for that tentacled alien out ther ;) (not sure the lyrics are perfect since I CnP'd them from a non-standard lyrics site but a quick once over looks right)...

SI

Love that song. No Cure For Cancer rocks.

[Wolfpack]

This one is for that tentacled alien out ther (not sure the lyrics are perfect since I CnP'd them from a non-standard lyrics site but a quick once over looks right)...

Lyrics are pretty much spot-on. Rant's got some minor mistakes, but nothing tragic. I listened to it a lot back when I was in high school and college (still have the disc, actually, but haven't popped it in the player in a long time).

[Noop]

...ponder what it would cost to have a vagina installed on my gut. Then sit at sporting events with my shirt off and a creepy smile.
LOL