Track cartman's progress in the "Krispy Kreme Burger" quest [Archive]

cartman

03-09-2006, 07:39 PM

Hello all,

I was inspired by the following thread:

http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=47856

In it, there is a description of a new burger coming to a minor league stadium. It consists of a burger, two strips of bacon, cheese, and instead of a normal bun, it used Krispy Kreme donuts. I thought this was sheer genius, and I have decided to recreate this myself.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/goods.jpg

Here is what I have procured to replicate this culinary masterpiece. As you see above, I have 1/3 lb. Angus burger patties, Oscar Meyer thick cut bacon, and a dozen Krispy Kreme original glazed donuts. I am sure I will regret getting a dozen fat pills later, but no time to think about that. As you see, I also have some normal sesame seed hamburger buns, so I can also make a control burger. I have left out the cheese, because simply, I hate cheese. Can't stand the stuff. If I was going to order the burger at the ballpark, I would have gotten it without the cheese.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/grill.jpg

Since the article didn't mention how the burgers would be cooked, I decided on my favorite way, on the grill. Here's a picture of my grill, and I love the thing. It's huge, and it can cook the hell out of anything. My uncle brought up a whole pig that he shot on his land, and we cooked it whole on the grill. That was some good eatin'.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/fiber.jpg

You can't be too careful when ingesting this much meat and sticky, sugary, fried treats. This is a little something to help the ole' digestive tract along, after I'm done abusing it with this grub.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/lastresort.jpg

As I said, you can't be too careful. If the fiber doesn't work it's magic tomorrow, I won't hesitate to call in the big guns. That's a toxic combination I'm introducing to my innards.

So, check back during the evening, as I'll post pics of the burger in progress, and also visually document the finished product.

Wish me luck!

cthomer5000

03-09-2006, 07:41 PM

You've got my attention.

SirFozzie

03-09-2006, 07:42 PM

Yer a feckin loon, you is.

terpkristin

03-09-2006, 07:43 PM

This is fantastic.
Don't die on us, please!!! :D

/tk

SackAttack

03-09-2006, 07:45 PM

cartman is my hero.

I saw this yesterday and wanted to try one, but not badly enough to go MAKE one. :)

Barkeep49

03-09-2006, 07:47 PM

I think this is awesome. Sort of like that 200 dollar sandwhich or whatever it was.

duckman

03-09-2006, 07:51 PM

I love you.

cartman

03-09-2006, 07:53 PM

This is fantastic.
Don't die on us, please!!! :D

/tk

Good call, tk!

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/bp_before.jpg

Here's my blood pressure going into the event. 119/82. A little high, but that is to be expected when the adrenaline is rushing like it is!

hoopsguy

03-09-2006, 07:56 PM

Funny stuff. Following along.

DeToxRox

03-09-2006, 07:58 PM

if ever there was a day i gained a new hero, this were it.

Joe

03-09-2006, 07:59 PM

I don't understand the krispy kreme part. Is the doughnut cut in half and the burger put inside, or is the burger placed in the middle of two doughnuts?

terpkristin

03-09-2006, 08:00 PM

The first thing you said, GWB.

/tk

cartman

03-09-2006, 08:01 PM

I don't understand the krispy kreme part. Is the doughnut cut in half and the burger put inside, or is the burger placed in the middle of two doughnuts?

You are correct. The article is not clear on this either. My version is going to be a whole donut on top, and another whole donut on the bottom. Better err on the side of caution!

terpkristin

03-09-2006, 08:03 PM

The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut. I read this to mean that there is only one KK doughnut involved, cut in half...not that it matters, i suppose, either way, the arteries are clogging.

/tk

panerd

03-09-2006, 08:04 PM

Great thread. I will be following. Though one does have to wonder with the size of that grill why you are using boxed hamburgers in this experiment.

Lorena

03-09-2006, 08:04 PM

This is freaking awesome! I was going to bed early but I'll stay up just to follow the thread ;)

cartman

03-09-2006, 08:07 PM

Though one does have to wonder with the size of that grill why you are using boxed hamburgers in this experiment.

They are 1/3 pound flash frozen Angus burgers from Sam's Club. Not the 1/4 pound ground round usually found in the boxes. I normally get the 1/3 pound sirloin burgers, but they were out the last time I went.

Lorena

03-09-2006, 08:10 PM

Does anyone have a link to the $200 burger or whatever it was?

cartman

03-09-2006, 08:11 PM

Hmmm, it smells great cooking!

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/bacon.jpg

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/burgers.jpg

oliegirl

03-09-2006, 08:14 PM

I officially nominate this thread for Thread of the Year at next year's Golden Scribe awards...

Barkeep49

03-09-2006, 08:20 PM

Wait a sec? A grill that size can't cook bacon? WTF?

kingfc22

03-09-2006, 08:22 PM

This thread is awesome. History in the making. Move over Maximum Football.

cartman

03-09-2006, 08:22 PM

Now, time to assemble the masterpiece!

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/preassemble.jpg

All that goodness ready to come together!

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/openface.jpg

Here it is, assembled with beef and bacon!

[
http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/closed.jpg

As they say in Italy, "Buon Appetito"!

I'll report back on the results, as soon as I am able. The sugar coma followed by burger processing might knock me out for a while.

Lorena

03-09-2006, 08:23 PM

<----- anxiously awaits...

duckman

03-09-2006, 08:26 PM

I'm on the edge of my seat.

JonInMiddleGA

03-09-2006, 08:28 PM

I'm on the edge of my seat.

Cartman may end up on the edge of a very different seat later himself ;)

Great idea Cartman, bravo.

Young Drachma

03-09-2006, 08:28 PM

Wow...

Lorena

03-09-2006, 08:29 PM

Cartman may end up on the edge of a very different seat later himself ;)

lol

terpkristin

03-09-2006, 08:29 PM

Can we also get a blood pressure update, please?

/tk

duckman

03-09-2006, 08:30 PM

Cartman may end up on the edge of a very different seat later himself ;)
Especially after taking those fiber tablets. :D

DeToxRox

03-09-2006, 08:34 PM

i'd probably have an EMT on stand by

cartman

03-09-2006, 08:39 PM

WOW.

Just simply... WOW!

Details to soon follow.

Greyroofoo

03-09-2006, 08:41 PM

now you're just teasing

Lorena

03-09-2006, 08:41 PM

WOW.

Just simply... WOW!

Details to soon follow.

WTF!!?? Details NOW DAMMIT!!!!

EagleFan

03-09-2006, 08:42 PM

How can anything with a Krispy Kremes donut be worth eating? They are absolutely the worst donuts on the face of the earth.

Good luck with the blood pressure after this one though.

clintl

03-09-2006, 08:46 PM

For some reason, this reminds me of a thread on another board about euthanizing a fish.

Tigercat

03-09-2006, 08:46 PM

How can anything with a Krispy Kremes donut be worth eating? They are absolutely the worst donuts on the face of the earth.

Good luck with the blood pressure after this one though.

I would be one of the first to argue that Krispy Kremes are overrated, but the worst donuts on the face of the earth? You must eat plenty of good donuts up there to feel comfortable saying that!

Krispy Kreme's, IMO, are above average donuts. Nothing more, nothing less. You can get better at local donut shops, but you can sure get a lot worse all over the place.

Tigercat

03-09-2006, 08:48 PM

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/closed.jpg

Dola, my KK opinion aside, this is the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen.

Radii

03-09-2006, 08:50 PM

Krispy Kreme's, IMO, are above average donuts. Nothing more, nothing less. You can get better at local donut shops, but you can sure get a lot worse all over the place.

:eek: :eek:

Are you serious? Hot Krispy Kremes right off the line are one of the greatest things in the world.

EagleFan

03-09-2006, 08:51 PM

I would be one of the first to argue that Krispy Kremes are overrated, but the worst donuts on the face of the earth? You must eat plenty of good donuts up there to feel comfortable saying that!

Krispy Kreme's, IMO, are above average donuts. Nothing more, nothing less. You can get better at local donut shops, but you can sure get a lot worse all over the place.

Okay, maybe a little over the top but I get tired of hearing people rave over them when they are not anywhere close to as good as people make them sound.

terpkristin

03-09-2006, 08:51 PM

:eek: :eek:

Are you serious? Hot Krispy Kremes right off the line are one of the greatest things in the world.Ever since I saw the Sex in the City episode that focused in part on KK's, I have a problem eating them. I still do it every now and then, but that episode definitely gives me more willpower to stay away...

/tk

TazFTW

03-09-2006, 08:53 PM

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/openface.jpg

Needs BBQ sauce.

And some lettuce, maybe some grilled onions.

Tigercat

03-09-2006, 08:54 PM

:eek: :eek:

Are you serious? Hot Krispy Kremes right off the line are one of the greatest things in the world.

You can get hot donuts at lots of places, you can find places with better dough consistency than KK, and you can find places with better taste(both to the dough and with the sugary additives).

Not saying they aren't good, but hell I haven't even eaten in THAT many donut places in my life, and I've gotten better donuts quite a few times. I agree with Eaglefan in that regard, they are overrated.

But they are crack, just like any good donut is.

clintl

03-09-2006, 08:54 PM

These (http://www.mrsfreshleys.com/Products/doughnuts.html) are the worst doughnuts on the face of the earth. I know because the junk food vendor at my former workplace stocked the machines with them.

DeToxRox

03-09-2006, 08:58 PM

oliegirl

03-09-2006, 09:01 PM

Ever since I saw the Sex in the City episode that focused in part on KK's, I have a problem eating them. I still do it every now and then, but that episode definitely gives me more willpower to stay away...

/tk

OMG! One of my favorite shows, and that is a great episode!

"I was ALL over his face"

:D

cartman

03-09-2006, 09:01 PM

As many of you know, I get to travel extensively with my job. A side perk of that is I've gotten to eat some outstanding meals at some of the best restaurants in the world. While I'm not saying that this concoction will get any Michelin stars anytime soon, it was quite simply, one of the richest meals I've ever eaten.

Foie Gras? Doesn't hold a candle to this. And you don't have to force feed any geese to make it either. In fact, this could almost be considered a white trash version of foie gras. It was so incredibly rich, with the sugary donut goodness, and the filling part added with the bacon and angus burger.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/first.jpg

The first thing that jumped out at me as how much more the sugar coating melted, with the added heat from the grilled burger and the bacon. It turned the outside into a sticky, slippery mess. I knew right away I was going to need more napkins.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/second.jpg

As you can see, just a couple of more bites in, and the napkins were piling up. It was almost like the insides of the donuts were liquid sugar pumps, continually producing more and more of the melted frosting.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/third.jpg

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/fourth.jpg

Well, if these were sugar pumps, then the casing is rapidly deflating. If the ballpark is going to simply cut a single donut in half, the two sides will quickly become paper thin. In these two photos, I placed a normal donut next to half eaten trailer park gourmet delight, to show how much the donuts compress during the eating process.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/fifth.jpg

Now, on to the standard reference burger. What I noticed right away was how dry it was. You didn't notice that at all with the Krispy Creme burger. I guess the melted sugar helped to keep things moist. So to make the normal burger palatable, I had to add a bit of A1 sauce to the burger. Notice the lack of need for any more napkins.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/sixth.jpg

The aftermath. Of course, the only option for a beverage of a meal of this stature would be a Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper. The standard burger was a great disappointment compared to the gastronomical treat that was the Krispy Kreme burger. If the ballpark can come up with something remotely similar to this, there will be a lot of happy cardiologists in town.

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/bp_after.jpg

Now, the all important first health check. Good to see that my BP is pretty much the same as before attempting this dangerous feat. Systolic went up 5 points, not much at all. But my overall health will be something I have to monitor over the next few days.

The next big milestone will be to see what happens after my first cups of coffee tomorrow morning. I hope I don't have to go to the second option... :D

Antmeister

03-09-2006, 09:05 PM

You are one crazy son of a burger! Good job! Bravo!

oliegirl

03-09-2006, 09:07 PM

So what the hell is the point of a DIET cherry vanilla dr. pepper???? Trying to restrict your sugar intake?

Lorena

03-09-2006, 09:11 PM

Great job cartman! I salute you http://forums.filefront.com/images/smilies/salute.gif

terpkristin

03-09-2006, 09:13 PM

Ditto what oliegirl said, that was my first thought. :D ;)

Glad you lived, not sure I'm up for trying it, though (I'm not a fan of rich foods to begin with...). :D Who knows, it could be the next big thing after deep fried Twinkies and deep fried Snickers bars.

/tk

Lorena

03-09-2006, 09:15 PM

So what the hell is the point of a DIET cherry vanilla dr. pepper???? Trying to restrict your sugar intake?

lol! good point :D

DaddyTorgo

03-09-2006, 09:18 PM

holy shit. you are my hero cartman!

cartman

03-09-2006, 09:29 PM

Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals, I'm living proof.

Beefcake... BEEFCAKE!!!!

http://home.cc.gatech.edu/webb/uploads/9/fatass.jpg

Lorena

03-09-2006, 09:32 PM

Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals, I'm living proof.

Beefcake... BEEFCAKE!!!!

http://home.cc.gatech.edu/webb/uploads/9/fatass.jpg

lol

so how do you feel sir?

cartman

03-09-2006, 09:33 PM

lol

so how do you feel sir?

Extremely full.

And very lethargic.

But it was worth it. :D

kingfc22

03-09-2006, 09:38 PM

ROFL!!! Simply awesome.

SnDvls

03-09-2006, 09:42 PM

bravo

you had my wife (who by the way hates me on FOFC & WW threads) and I in total laughter.

Daimyo

03-09-2006, 09:57 PM

law90026

03-09-2006, 10:15 PM

Bravo!!! And great reading all round too :)

JonInMiddleGA

03-09-2006, 10:21 PM

I wonder if it would work better if you cut the doughnut in half and then toasted the inside halves and then made the burger with the inside halves facing outward... that way your hands wouldn't touch the syrupy part and toasting it would help keep the juices on the inside.

You mean like the "Luther Burger" at Mulligan's in Decatur, GA?

http://atlanta.citysearch.com/profile/35900779#editorialreview
Or the "Luther Burger," a bacon cheese burger served on a split and toasted glazed donut

No, I didn't make that up ... I even have Snopes seal of approval
http://www.snopes.com/food/origins/luther.asp

flere-imsaho

03-09-2006, 10:24 PM

Best thread of the year. :D

MizzouRah

03-09-2006, 10:25 PM

Bravo is right!! Way to go Cartman!!! I hope nobody is around when mother nature calls. :)

JeeberD

03-09-2006, 10:31 PM

Outstanding job, cartman! :D

Desnudo

03-10-2006, 01:09 AM

Where is the cheese? I think cheese makes or breaks it. That's a huge difference. This experiment needs cheese. I love the grill though.

bbor

03-10-2006, 01:17 AM

What was the consistancy of your poo?

SackAttack

03-10-2006, 01:24 AM

I wonder if it would work better if you cut the doughnut in half and then toasted the inside halves and then made the burger with the inside halves facing outward... that way your hands wouldn't touch the syrupy part and toasting it would help keep the juices on the inside.

A buddy of mine showed me something he called "the Luther" earlier which was basically exactly that.

Allegedly Luther Vandross was famous for eating hamburgers that way.

Lathum

03-10-2006, 01:57 AM

I can totaly picture you eating that. Bravo!

JeeberD

03-10-2006, 02:02 AM

A buddy of mine showed me something he called "the Luther" earlier which was basically exactly that.

Allegedly Luther Vandross was famous for eating hamburgers that way.

Ya don't say? ;)

You mean like the "Luther Burger" at Mulligan's in Decatur, GA?

http://atlanta.citysearch.com/profile/35900779#editorialreview
Or the "Luther Burger," a bacon cheese burger served on a split and toasted glazed donut

No, I didn't make that up ... I even have Snopes seal of approval
http://www.snopes.com/food/origins/luther.asp

gkb

03-10-2006, 02:14 AM

Brilliant! This thread would have been worthless without the pics...well done sir. I salute you. :)

Vince

03-10-2006, 02:50 AM

This was amazing. Bravo!

BYU 14

03-10-2006, 02:54 AM

Pure Gold you fatass sonofabitch!!

WSUCougar

03-10-2006, 07:05 AM

Outstanding. Simply outstanding.

Now let's see if he emerges from his sugar coma this morning.

Cartman? CARTMAN?!?

Qwikshot

03-10-2006, 07:11 AM

Amazing, but I still wouldn't try it.

panerd

03-10-2006, 08:06 AM

I want to know if he was serious when he was talking about how good it was. I am having people over for the NCAA games this week and I may throw this one at them if it really does taste good. Obviously I wouldn't want to eat these all of the time, but once can't hurt. (Or at least I have a couple days to see if it does any damage to Cartman)

Warhammer

03-10-2006, 08:21 AM

You'ge gonna be on television, you're gonna be on television!

cartman

03-10-2006, 09:08 AM

Hello all,

I did awake this morning, after a deep, deep slumber. I feel fine, but the sounds eminating from my lower torso sound like the New York Philharmonic during their warmups. I'm off for my first cup of coffee.

And panerd, I was being 100% truthful in my assessment. It was definitely some good eatin'.

cartman

03-10-2006, 09:17 AM

Where is the cheese? I think cheese makes or breaks it. That's a huge difference. This experiment needs cheese. I love the grill though.

As I stated in the opening soliloquy, I cannot stand cheese. I hate the stuff. Just the smell of it can cause me to become nauseous. I've been like that since I was a kid. So that is why there is no cheese in this experiment.

But the thing that makes NO sense whatsoever is that I like pizza. It is the only thing I'll eat that has cheese on it. It's probably related to some deep seated childhood trauma I suffered or something.

WSUCougar

03-10-2006, 09:21 AM

That grill looks like a male shrine.

Samdari

03-10-2006, 09:30 AM

deep fried Snickers bars.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Where does one get those? I am interested.

cartman

03-10-2006, 09:30 AM

That grill looks like a male shrine.

It is one of my most prized posessions. Some of my friends have knelt and wept openly upon their first time viewing it. Many cuts of meat have made their transition from raw to cooked on the device.

Eventually, my plan is to build an outdoor kitchen/entertainment area out in the yard. The idea is to pour a 16 foot by 24 foot pad, and put a pergola over it. Inside will be the grill, an italian wood fired pizza oven, smoker, sink, fridge, and prep area. Since I have propane running to the house, and not natural gas, I plan to run a propane line out there, so I'll never have to refill a tank again. At the other end of the platform will benches and a fire pit.

Warhammer

03-10-2006, 09:37 AM

As I stated in the opening soliloquy, I cannot stand cheese. I hate the stuff. Just the smell of it can cause me to become nauseous. I've been like that since I was a kid. So that is why there is no cheese in this experiment.

But the thing that makes NO sense whatsoever is that I like pizza. It is the only thing I'll eat that has cheese on it. It's probably related to some deep seated childhood trauma I suffered or something.

I am the same way, but I was sensitive to dairy products (lactose intolerant since I was 24 or so). Only way I can eat pizza is a 3+ topping pizza or sausage and pepperoni.

Lorena

03-10-2006, 09:55 AM

I had a dream last night that I actually ate one of these. I was hired by someone and they sent me to a separate room. In this room were KK donuts, patties, and hamburger buns.

Much like this image:

http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/pictures/preassemble.jpg

I started eating the burger with the regular bun, and noticed the KK donuts so I cut one in half, and placed the pattie in between.

I never thought I'd actually dream of the stuff I read here :rolleyes:

moriarty

03-10-2006, 09:55 AM

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Where does one get those? I am interested.

There's a restaurant in NYC that serves deep fried twinkies, snickers, twix, etc...

IIRC I think on the Super Size me dcoumentary (might have been in the extra features on the DVD) they showed the place.

moriarty

03-10-2006, 09:57 AM

Dola,

Restaurant info and Twinkie recipe here: http://www.sptimes.com/2002/06/26/Taste/The_Twinkie_transform.shtml

WSUCougar

03-10-2006, 09:57 AM

I never thought I'd actually dream of the stuff I read here
Did Cartman appear in it...you know...naked?

cartman

03-10-2006, 11:51 AM

Whew.

It took four cups of coffee to help nature take it's course this morning, but it is over.

That was a lot of fun, but not something I'd make part of my regular meal rotation. Thanks to all who followed along, I hope my journey was enjoyable to watch!

path12

03-10-2006, 11:54 AM

After this thread, I promise to never vote for you the first day in werewolf. Well played, sir.

CamEdwards

03-10-2006, 12:17 PM

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Where does one get those? I am interested.

Samdari,

The Prince William County Fair had deep fried Twinkies, Snickers, and Oreos last year. I prefer the Oreos myself.

Lorena

03-10-2006, 03:25 PM

Did Cartman appear in it...you know...naked?

As much as I'd enjoy seeing someone naked in my dream, no, everyone was fully clothed :(

Desnudo

03-10-2006, 03:48 PM

Warhammer

03-10-2006, 03:56 PM

As much as I'd enjoy seeing someone naked in my dream, no, everyone was fully clothed :(

Wow, so you don't care who is naked, you just want some skin, right?

Glengoyne

03-10-2006, 04:33 PM

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Where does one get those? I am interested.These are by far one of the greatest carnival foods you will ever encounter. Some joints stick with just deep frying Twinkies or Oreos, but the deep friend candy bar is better by leaps and bounds.

I actually prefer the Milky Way to the Snickers, just because of the consistency. The peanuts just seemed to get in the way. Really a very nice treat.

Found at carnivals, fairs, and the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz, CA.

CamEdwards

03-10-2006, 04:50 PM

These are by far one of the greatest carnival foods you will ever encounter. Some joints stick with just deep frying Twinkies or Oreos, but the deep friend candy bar is better by leaps and bounds.

I actually prefer the Milky Way to the Snickers, just because of the consistency. The peanuts just seemed to get in the way. Really a very nice treat.

Found at carnivals, fairs, and the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz, CA.

I would like to try deep fried Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Hopefully the carnies can make that happen for me this fall. :D

Greyroofoo

03-10-2006, 04:51 PM

cartman is a God among men

pennywisesb

03-10-2006, 04:59 PM

This was absolutely hilarious Cartman. Great job!

Logan

03-10-2006, 06:01 PM

As I stated in the opening soliloquy, I cannot stand cheese. I hate the stuff. Just the smell of it can cause me to become nauseous. I've been like that since I was a kid. So that is why there is no cheese in this experiment.

But the thing that makes NO sense whatsoever is that I like pizza. It is the only thing I'll eat that has cheese on it. It's probably related to some deep seated childhood trauma I suffered or something.

I understand how you don't like cheese (and a good buddy of mine is the same way...will only go near cheese on a pizza), but throughout that whole thing, especially with the pictures...I kept thinking to myself "Oh, what a few slices of cheddar, american, and monterey jack could do to that masterpiece..."

Lorena

03-10-2006, 06:01 PM

Wow, so you don't care who is naked, you just want some skin, right?

When dreaming, anything goes

ISiddiqui

03-10-2006, 06:18 PM

How can you hate cheese and call yourself Cartman? :mad:

Oh, and I wanted to comment on the Diet Soda... just because someone pigs out on the burger, doesn't mean everything they possibly take into their body has to contribute to sugar toxic shock!

cartman

03-10-2006, 06:26 PM

How can you hate cheese and call yourself Cartman? :mad:

Well, it goes without saying that I do like CheesyPoofs! And I am cartman after all, not Wallace.

ISiddiqui

03-10-2006, 06:31 PM

Well, it goes without saying that I do like CheesyPoofs!I want to see you eat some!

Lorena

03-10-2006, 06:35 PM

Make a Krispy Kreme CheesyPoof Sandwich and tell us how it is :)

Schmidty

03-10-2006, 07:59 PM

Schmidty

03-10-2006, 08:10 PM

I'm only on the original post, but how in the fucking holy hell can someone not like cheese?????????????

That is the wierdest food dislike I have ever heard. It's like someone not enjoying chocolate at least a little bit.

:confused:

Ok, I see that other people have given you shit about the cheese thing, so I guess my comment wasn't needed. :)

duckman

03-10-2006, 08:21 PM

Cheese on hamburgers are gross!

saldana

03-10-2006, 09:07 PM

i think we need to have this done again with a live webcam and streaming video

cartman

03-10-2006, 09:32 PM

i think we need to have this done again with a live webcam and streaming video

I almost did hook up the camcorder to video tape the proceedings. But I thought that would have been a bit much.

Easy Mac

03-10-2006, 09:33 PM

i concur that cheese is disgusting. only eat it on macaroni and pizza.

anyway, i had a similar day the other day. 3 krispy creme donuts, 2 scrambled eggs and 5 slices of bacon for breakfast... a hamburger and fries for lunch 2 hours later. not quite the same, but probably similar blood pressure effects.

Crim

03-10-2006, 10:53 PM

I must add my hearty congratulations to cartman for a job well done. Most excellent thread, sir!

Crim

Logan

03-10-2006, 11:57 PM

Just wanted to add that I see tremendous potential for possible attempts by others at beating this thread in its greatness.

ISiddiqui

03-11-2006, 01:21 AM

I'm only on the original post, but how in the fucking holy hell can someone not like cheese?????????????

That is the wierdest food dislike I have ever heard. It's like someone not enjoying chocolate at least a little bit.

:confused:I know people that totally dislike cheese. In fact, one of my friends is like cartman in that she hates cheese, but likes it on pizza.

ice4277

03-11-2006, 01:23 AM

I know people that totally dislike cheese. In fact, one of my friends is like cartman in that she hates cheese, but likes it on pizza.
I am basically that way. I can only have pizza if it has at minimum one topping, preferably three or four. I used to be lactose intolerant, and was not able to have dairy for a few years. I can't even drink regular milk without wanting to puke.

stevew

03-11-2006, 02:18 AM

hxxp://kkburger.ytmnd.com/

JeeberD

03-11-2006, 02:37 PM

You can never have too much cheese on a burger, or on anything, really. Cheese is one of mankind's crowning achievments...

Airhog

03-11-2006, 02:56 PM

You can never have too much cheese on a burger, or on anything, really. Cheese is one of mankind's crowning achievments...

It goes in this order JeeberD

1. Alcohol
2. Cheese
3. Everything else

cartman

02-17-2007, 09:58 AM

It appears that the Google cafeteria in NYC is now serving Krispy Creme burgers.

hxxp://www.gothamist.com/archives/2007/02/16/google_mashup_k.php

I might have to make one again on the one year anniversary of this extraordinary feat. :D

Toddzilla

02-17-2007, 10:05 AM

Bah! Poseurs!

Toddzilla

02-17-2007, 10:06 AM

Dola-

The google article references the Luther Burger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luther_Burger) in Wikipedia. Someone HAS to edit that to include cartman's exploits :D

Lathum

08-22-2007, 10:38 PM

bump

just because

Galaxy

04-01-2008, 09:46 AM

A bump for a classic thread.

Antmeister

04-01-2008, 10:19 AM

WTF? Has it really been two years since this was posted? Dammit, I refuse to age.

Logan

04-01-2008, 10:26 AM

I'm extremely close to the KK in Penn Station right now, where they come off melting hot. Tempting.

cartman

04-01-2008, 10:29 AM

I might have to try and whip up a batch of Chicken Fried Bacon this weekend as an encore and document the experience as I did this one. :D

Galaxy

04-01-2008, 10:35 AM

I might have to try and whip up a batch of Chicken Fried Bacon this weekend as an encore and document the experience as I did this one. :D

This time, you should video tape it.

gkb

04-01-2008, 11:42 AM

Legendary thread...I can't believe it's been two years.

Passacaglia

04-01-2008, 11:47 AM

Now that I think about it, even though I do like cheese, I can see how it would be weird on a Krispy Kreme Burger.

Lorena

04-01-2008, 11:57 AM

This time, you should video tape it.

yes, this has to happen.

Lorena

04-01-2008, 11:57 AM

dola,

wow, 2 years? time flies

Crim

04-02-2008, 09:49 PM

I remember my wife getting pissed at me two years ago because I woke her up from two rooms away at about 1am, laughing at this classic thread.

Galaxy

04-05-2008, 08:55 PM

So Cart,

Are you doing it?

cartman

04-05-2008, 10:28 PM

So Cart,

Are you doing it?

Not this weekend. Probably in a couple of weeks.

Cringer

04-05-2008, 10:38 PM

This is 2 years old? Crap, what has happened to my life?

st.cronin

04-05-2008, 10:43 PM

By the way, this thread inspired me to make The Luther for me and the lady the other night. I thought it was quite good, although I wouldn't want to put it in my regular rotation.

cartman

03-09-2009, 09:31 AM

Happy 3rd anniversary to the near destruction of my gastrointestinal tract!

DaddyTorgo

03-09-2009, 09:36 AM

this thread never dies. i can't believe it's been 3 years

Lorena

03-09-2009, 10:45 AM

dola,

wow, 2 years? time flies

and now a year since this post.

cartman

03-09-2009, 03:22 PM

Here is a fountain of inspiration:

This is why you're fat. (http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/)

DeToxRox

03-09-2009, 03:23 PM

Cartman, where's the BBQ Bacon Explosion?

cartman

03-09-2009, 03:25 PM

Cartman, where's the BBQ Bacon Explosion?

No way I'm doing that one solo. I'm lining up some folks to join me, and one of the potential crowd is a Type 1 diabetic. Should be a hoot!

miked

03-09-2009, 03:51 PM

My buddies did the bacon explosion for the superbowl, said it was so rich and heavy, nobody could eat more than a few spoonfuls, and these are guys that go to Hooters for all-you-can-eat wings and put down about 70+.

Ronnie Dobbs2

03-09-2009, 03:57 PM

If I didn't know any better I'd say that sounds like a challenge.

Crim

03-09-2009, 04:43 PM

cartman, it's hard to pin down a "favorite thread" here at FOFC, but gun-to-my-head, I'd pick this one.

Galaxy

03-29-2009, 12:25 AM

In honor the peeps thread, this deserves a bump.

Look forward to the BBQ challenge. Maybe some peeps for dessert. Or some deep fried twinkees? hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8LxCYYSqrI

stevew

03-29-2009, 12:42 AM

cartman, it's hard to pin down a "favorite thread" here at FOFC, but gun-to-my-head, I'd pick this one.

It would be among my top few as well.

Logan

08-25-2009, 05:04 PM

Go for it, cartman. I personally think it needs another layer.

Bellying up to Kentucky Fried Chicken's double down | Daily Dish | Los Angeles Times (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/dailydish/2009/08/bellying-up-to-kfcs-double-down-.html)

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0120a5178872970b-pi

stevew

08-26-2009, 02:26 AM

Oh, good catch. Saw that the other day and though of cartman.

BishopMVP

08-26-2009, 03:44 AM

That KFC sandwich actually doesn't look bad at all. Providence, RI you say? (btw what an odd place to choose.)

Anyway the real question - how's this coming along?It is one of my most prized posessions. Some of my friends have knelt and wept openly upon their first time viewing it. Many cuts of meat have made their transition from raw to cooked on the device.

Eventually, my plan is to build an outdoor kitchen/entertainment area out in the yard. The idea is to pour a 16 foot by 24 foot pad, and put a pergola over it. Inside will be the grill, an italian wood fired pizza oven, smoker, sink, fridge, and prep area. Since I have propane running to the house, and not natural gas, I plan to run a propane line out there, so I'll never have to refill a tank again. At the other end of the platform will benches and a fire pit.

Denial Of Freedom

10-10-2009, 11:55 PM

More media attention for this burger.

<object width="560" height="340">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kc2I9mLJ0Po&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></object>

Greyroofoo

10-11-2009, 01:03 AM

cartman

04-08-2010, 01:16 AM

Four years since this epic event. Was flipping through the channels and saw Man vs. Food eating the KK burger at the minor league ballpark that provided my initial inspiration to try this.

terpkristin

04-08-2010, 06:31 AM

Four years since this epic event. Was flipping through the channels and saw Man vs. Food eating the KK burger at the minor league ballpark that provided my initial inspiration to try this.

I'm planning on having a KK burger party some Friday night at my house. I keep checking the weather on Monday and Tuesday, tomorrow's suppoesd to be cold, but hopefully in the next month, I can get it done. You sir, were my inspiration. :)

/tk

Logan

04-08-2010, 09:08 AM

That KFC Double Down is supposed to be available all over in a few days.

RainMaker

04-13-2010, 12:54 AM

That KFC Double Down is supposed to be available all over in a few days.
The grilled version of it is actually one of the healthiest things on the menu. Not kidding, it is actually somewhat healthy for you.

Easy Mac

07-09-2010, 01:03 PM

So Cartman, any chance of doing the KFC double down/krispy kreme cheerwine donut burger?

Meet The KFC Double Down Krispy Kreme Cheerwine Doughnut Sandwich - The Consumerist (http://consumerist.com/2010/07/krispy-kreme-cheerwine-douhnuts-meet-kfc-double-down.html)

terpkristin

07-09-2010, 01:47 PM

Hmm can cartman get Cheerwine donuts where he is, I wonder? I don't even think I can get them up here, though I can get Cheerwine.

/tk

Sun Tzu

07-09-2010, 02:06 PM

It's incredible to think that the sandwich posted is still less calories than a blooming onion at Outback.

cartman

04-22-2011, 11:36 AM

Crap, we missed the five year anniversary of this great event.

JediKooter

04-22-2011, 11:48 AM

Is Krispy Kreme still around? Or is it because I'm in the lame ass Bay Area and they don't allow Krispy Kreme's here like they don't allow Happy Meals?

Izulde

04-22-2011, 12:14 PM

I ate at a Krispy Kreme in DC back in February and there's a Krispy Kreme display at one of the gas stations here, so yes they exist.

JediKooter

04-22-2011, 12:21 PM

Damn.

Lathum

06-01-2011, 09:11 PM

Watching Man vs Food and they are at the ballpark where they serve this.

BYU 14

06-01-2011, 11:13 PM

Still trying to get the nerve to try this......

terpkristin

06-02-2011, 04:47 PM

Still trying to get the nerve to try this......

Well for whatever it's worth, after reading cartman's experience, I threw a party at my house to have people try it. About 7 of us did and all agreed that it was really good. Not an everyday thing, but definitely something we'd do again.

/tk

cartman

06-02-2011, 04:50 PM

It's been 5 years, and I just got put on cholesterol medication last week. :)

terpkristin

11-07-2011, 05:52 PM

I did a Krispy Kreme burger day for the Terps Homecoming tailgate. They turned out quite well.

In other news, I just found this, which I am intrigued by...
Turkey Stuffed With Twinkies Is, In Fact, An Actual Recipe From The 'Twinkies Cookbook' (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/07/recipe-turkey-stuffed-twinkies_n_1080045.html)

/tk

stevew

03-24-2012, 05:26 PM

Pix plz k thx.

ESPN MLB Hot dog has high price tag (http://m.espn.go.com/mlb/story?storyId=7729422)

SURPRISE, Ariz. -- Can you imagine picking up a one-pound hot dog that's nearly two feet long, let alone eating the entire thing in one sitting?

Well, Texas Rangers fans can give it a try. For $26, fans at the new Captain Morgan Club in center field and at several concession stands at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington can attempt to clog arteries with not only the large dog, but a slew of toppings.

By the time you add shredded cheese, chili, sautéed onions and fries, the entire plate could weigh two pounds. And it's likely to add more than that to your waist line.

"I don't know how many calories are in this thing, but it's got to be 2,000 or 3,000," said Casey Rapp, operations manager for Sportsservice, which handles concessions at the park.

It's called the "Champion Dog" in the restaurant and served on a cutting board. The waiter or waitress can even cut it into smaller pieces to share with friends. At the concession stands, it's known as the "Boomstick," in honor of Nelson Cruz. And for fans purchasing it there, a hefty carrier complete with handles is made available so it can be transported to any seating area.

Matthean

03-24-2012, 06:26 PM

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2012/0323/dal_hotdog1_412.jpg

DaddyTorgo

03-24-2012, 06:29 PM

NESN used to have Heidi Watney try all these things at various ballparks. Imma miss that.

Toddzilla

03-25-2012, 10:45 AM

the entire plate could weigh two pounds. And it's likely to add more than that to your waist lineScience FAIL

Autumn

03-25-2012, 03:11 PM

It might be magnetic.

cartman

03-25-2012, 10:29 PM

I'm so getting one of these opening day!

cartman

04-12-2012, 06:37 PM

Oh my Jesus Christ monkey balls!

Krispy Kreme Donut S’uper S’mores (http://laughingsquid.com/krispy-kreme-donut-super-smores/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+laughingsquid+%28Laughing+Squid%29&utm_content=Google+Reader)

cartman

02-11-2013, 09:45 AM

As we are approaching the 7th anniversary of this thread (holy crap, has it really been that long?), a new restaurant in Austin has an entire line of donut burgers. In fact, the entire menu is based around donuts.

Gourdoughâ€™s Public House | Austin, Texas (http://www.gourdoughspub.com/)

This is an extension of their wildly successful food truck, that makes truly awesome and unique donuts.

Gourdoughs Speciality Doughnuts (http://www.gourdoughs.com/)

Mizzou B-ball fan

04-26-2013, 02:33 PM

Impressive work by this lady. Ate a 9 lb. burger in 27 minutes. I don't know how.

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/604074_236785686461398_443684423_n.jpg

https://www.facebook.com/molly.schuyler.9

stevew

03-18-2014, 10:12 AM

Arizona Diamondbacks to sell $25 D-Bat corn dog - ESPN (http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/10626853/arizona-diamondbacks-sell-25-d-bat-corn-dog)
The Arizona Diamondbacks are the latest team to go big at the concession stand.

Team officials revealed to ESPN.com its new D-Bat Dog, which it will sell at Chase Field this season.

[+] EnlargeD-Bat Corndog
Courtesy of Arizona Diamondbacks
The Arizona Diamondbacks are selling the D-Bat Dog -- an 18-inch corn dog stuffed with cheddar cheese, jalapenos and bacon, served with a side of fries -- for $25.
It's an 18-inch corn dog stuffed with cheddar cheese, jalapenos and bacon, served with a side of fries.

The cost? A cool $25.

"This is really about providing our fans with new options each year and in the case of some of our larger items, it's really about sharing with the family," team president and CEO Derrick Hall said. "We don't have any expectations for the D-Bat, but we'll look forward to seeing if it becomes popular with our fans. Every night for us is a successful night because we offer the most affordable food prices in all of baseball."

For those who aren't inclined to spend that much money, the team will also sell a Venom Dog. It's a foot-long habanero sausage topped with black beans, guacamole, pico de gallo and sour cream and costs $10.

The team also is bringing back the Sonoran Dog, which it launched last year for $7. It's a hot dog wrapped in mesquite-smoked bacon with pico, beans and mayo.

The $25 hot dog barrier was first crossed in 2012, when the Texas Rangers unveiled the 2-foot-long Boomstick. The hot dog smothered in chili, nacho cheese, jalapenos and onions retails for $26. Despite backlash from some fans, the Rangers reportedly sold nearly 20,000 of them in the first season.

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2014/0318/mlb_d-bat_corndog_600x400.jpg

Matthean

03-18-2014, 10:27 AM

I think the foot-long habanero sausage would worry me more.

cartman

03-18-2014, 10:34 AM

I think I'm still digesting the Boomstick I ate last summer.

stevew

03-18-2014, 10:37 AM

Yes to the corn dog but no to the $25.

Lathum

03-18-2014, 10:46 AM

[QUOTE=stevew;2911885] Despite backlash from some fans, the Rangers reportedly sold nearly 20,000 of them in the first season.

[QUOTE]

backlash about what exactly?

If you dont want one don't get one.

sterlingice

03-18-2014, 10:49 AM

I think I'm still digesting the Boomstick I ate last summer.

I still want to go to Arlington and have the brat version of that

SI

cartman

03-18-2014, 10:52 AM

I still want to go to Arlington and have the brat version of that

SI

Yeah, that was the one I got. I figured if I'm paying that much, I'd rather get a brat than a hot dog.

flere-imsaho

07-18-2014, 08:38 AM

I saw this article and thought of this thread.

My 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers (http://gawker.com/my-14-hour-search-for-the-end-of-tgi-fridays-endless-ap-1606122925)

BYU 14

07-18-2014, 08:59 AM

I saw this article and thought of this thread.

My 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers (http://gawker.com/my-14-hour-search-for-the-end-of-tgi-fridays-endless-ap-1606122925)

God that sounds hideous, not to mention 7700 calories of mostly fat......

flere-imsaho

07-18-2014, 09:06 AM

Here's the list of appetizers that qualify for the promotion: Endless Appetizers | TGI Fridays Casual Dining Restaurant & Bar (https://www.tgifridays.com/endlessapps?icid=endlessappsmodule)

Honestly, mozzarella sticks would probably be my last choice if I was planning to eat a lot of one item. Even the best mozzarella sticks are heavy and greasy.

I'd probably go green bean fries if I was trying to "win" a contest, or otherwise the potato skins (though you'd fill up fast on those).

Lathum

07-18-2014, 09:19 AM

Having worked for Fridays for 10+ years I can't imagine how dreadful this must be for all involved.

Butter

07-18-2014, 09:20 AM

Lathum

07-18-2014, 09:42 AM

I actually really like the mozz sticks there. One of the few food I never got sick of in all my years wit hthem.

Matthean

07-18-2014, 09:46 AM

Yeah, 32 mozzarella sticks is a calk walk. I used to back in high school literally eat a stacked plateful more times than I should have been allowed to, but I was in HS and ran track, cross country, etc so whatever weight I gained was gone in two days.

CU Tiger

07-18-2014, 10:13 AM

She couldn't stomach their mozzarella sticks? Granted, they are probably not awesome, but in no way can I imagine they taste like garbage. So either she doesn't like mozzarella sticks, or she's got some kind of mental block. 7 plates over 14 hours is ridiculously few. I imagine I could've put down a plate an hour, easily.

That and the article was pretty low quality, even for standard internet blog writing. Congrats on sucking at both eating mozzarella sticks AND writing.

Yeah I was reading that and thinking ....really? I mean over 12 hours 30 sticks doesnt seem like much of a goal. I am no Kobiashi (sp?) but I feel certain I could eat 100 in 12 hours. If it would have been wings I am poitive I could eat 100 in 2 hours and have done so on more than 1 occasion. Then again I am surely much larger than the writer.

However I actually liked the writing, in a survivor, journalist satirical style.

Lathum

07-18-2014, 10:45 AM

I don't get the sense was to eat as many as possible, more an endurance test.

BYU 14

07-18-2014, 10:48 AM

I don't get the sense was to eat as many as possible, more an endurance test.

This, she really just wanted 5 days off of work

CU Tiger

07-18-2014, 12:05 PM

I don't get the sense was to eat as many as possible, more an endurance test.

Yeah bu at $3/per....as a blogger writer, she could have doubled her weekly salary.

Matthean

07-18-2014, 12:20 PM

Yeah bu at $3/per....as a blogger writer, she could have doubled her weekly salary.

In the comments she said she could have done more, but they were that terrible.

Logan

07-18-2014, 01:27 PM

And the problem with it being an endurance test is that mozzarella sticks, even really good ones, will get very rubbery after a while. You know, because they're processed cheese that's been temporarily brought back to life with the help of a fryer. So if you're trying to make it that long actually eating, your best bet is to knock out the plate within 10 minutes of getting your order and then twiddling your thumbs for a while.

Oh FTR, you could have ordered 10 plates of sticks and let them sit for 12 hours...I'd still kill every single one of them. I love that processed, chewy crap.

JonInMiddleGA

07-18-2014, 03:26 PM

Oh FTR, you could have ordered 10 plates of sticks and let them sit for 12 hours...I'd still kill every single one of them. I love that processed, chewy crap.

Pretty much this.

Logan

07-18-2014, 03:33 PM

I'm ready to go toe to toe with you Jon. Time and place.

(No coffee allowed).

JonInMiddleGA

07-18-2014, 03:46 PM

I'm ready to go toe to toe with you Jon. Time and place.

(No coffee allowed).

Better plan: Me & you versus TGI Friday's.

I mean, we obviously have this thing figured out, why not join forces and beat THEM instead?

:D

Lathum

07-18-2014, 04:26 PM

Oh FTR, you could have ordered 10 plates of sticks and let them sit for 12 hours...I'd still kill every single one of them. I love that processed, chewy crap.

can't.

They only let you have one order at a time so people wont take a bunch home.

CU Tiger

07-18-2014, 04:44 PM

Better plan: Me & you versus TGI Friday's.

I mean, we obviously have this thing figured out, why not join forces and beat THEM instead?

:D

I'm down but I want wings while you guys eat cheese sticks.
And Ill be in Athens in a few weeks, they got a TGIF?

flere-imsaho

07-18-2014, 07:51 PM

Aside from being tasty if you like cheesy & greasy crap (and I will admit to such a craving now and then), are there actually mozzarella sticks that are meant to taste good? What's that taste, besides cheese & grease?

JonInMiddleGA

07-18-2014, 09:12 PM

I'm down but I want wings while you guys eat cheese sticks.
And Ill be in Athens in a few weeks, they got a TGIF?

Alas, no.

I think the closest one is probably all the way down in Gwinnett somewhere afaik.

Logan

07-21-2014, 07:07 AM

In, Jon.

can't.

They only let you have one order at a time so people wont take a bunch home.

I know. Just meant that it doesn't matter how rubbery, crappy, or cold they are, I'll still find a place for them in my stomach.

Aside from being tasty if you like cheesy & greasy crap (and I will admit to such a craving now and then), are there actually mozzarella sticks that are meant to taste good? What's that taste, besides cheese & grease?

Basically any that aren't originally frozen and dropped in a fryer will taste pretty good. Some places will make their own breading at least, which helps. But yeah, that's the basic taste you're going after and not sure why you'd be looking for mozzarella sticks if you're looking for something different. The same rule that applies to other food applies here...I don't want a place taking a good quality ingredient taken and deep frying it. There becomes no point. If you have an awesome homemade fresh mozzarella, just slice it up and serve it as a caprese, or hell, drop the whole ball there and I'll figure it out myself.