HELP!! Mother-in-law visiting for 4 days!

[Suburban Rhythm]

How in the world am I supposed to deal with that!?!?!?

And too top it off...I've already got a day off Weds. Do I cancel that? Or, my back up plan is do absolutely nothing this weekend (cut grass, etc) so that I've got plenty to do that day.

[Coffee Warlord]

$250,000 and I'll make your problem go away. :)

[vex]

Haha. My in-laws are leaving today after staying at our house for 4 days. Have fun:)

[Suburban Rhythm]

Haha. My in-laws are leaving today after staying at our house for 4 days. Have fun:)

Any tips?

[oliegirl]

How in the world am I supposed to deal with that!?!?!?

And too top it off...I've already got a day off Weds. Do I cancel that? Or, my back up plan is do absolutely nothing this weekend (cut grass, etc) so that I've got plenty to do that day.


Make yourself scarce whenever possible, be polite when you can't make yourself scarce and remember that if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have your wonderful, amazing wife :)

[Raiders Army]

Make yourself scarce whenever possible, be polite when you can't make yourself scarce and remember that if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have your wonderful, amazing wife :)
/agree except that last bit.

Also, drink lots of beer. That always helps.

[albionmoonlight]

Why not cancel the day off?

Also--is your wife into you avoiding them, or does she want you to spend time with them? If it is the former, just have her make up a story about how you are slammed at work and you can just go hang out in sports bars.

If it is the latter, then just suck it up for your wife.

[condors]

get a hotel room :)

[Suburban Rhythm]

Make yourself scarce whenever possible, be polite when you can't make yourself scarce and remember that if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have your wonderful, amazing wife :)

Here is the worst part. Wife is a nurse, and only part-time to be able to stay home with the little one as much as possible.

Of course, she works Tuesday. So, there will be about a 2 1/2 window when I get home Tuesday night, that I can't make myself scarce. My only hope is my daughter has run her ragged all day long, and she goes into another room once I get home!

If my wife only knew the things I go through for her...
EDIT: to add info in response to other posts...

It's only her mom...her parents divorced about 20 years ago. Which is part of the reason she feels obligated to bend over backwards for her mom, otherwise she plays the "woe is me, all alone" card.

She doesn't expect me to hang out...but does expect me to be civil. Which I can do for the most part.

As far as moving the day-- I am working a compressed schedule for the summer, so one day off every two weeks (we weren't allowed to do 4 10's). So I can't really move it out of that week, which leaves me stuck.

[flere-imsaho]

Don't view it as the in-laws visiting, view it as an opportunity to practice verbal restraint. You never know, this skill may come in handy some day. :)

[Suburban Rhythm]

Don't view it as the in-laws visiting, view it as an opportunity to practice verbal restraint. You never know, this skill may come in handy some day. :)

I am trying to view it as "boy my wife will owe me big time at the end of this!"

I've already forwarded her the helpwinthisbet.com link to give her ideas

[Eaglesfan27]

Hehe. Good idea on the link. My wife wants us to have my Father-In-Law stay with us for 5 days starting this upcoming Weds. At least he will be able to help us with the final bit of packing as we will be moving right after his visit is over.

[OldGiants]

What's worked for me for almost 30 years is that I figured out what I have in common with my in-laws and I talk about nothing else during visits. If my mother-in-law starts talking about what she saw on Oprah, I simply turn on the Weather Channel and ask about how the weather is going in St. Joe. That fills up an hour.

Other topics include:

Bowling
The Mets
What they ate last night

That's about it.

It's amazing how much time those topics can burn when you try hard.

[KevinNU7]

He have given no facts stated that this woman is a horrible person. So why do you hate her so much? To me you just sound like a huge asshole.

[JeeberD]

My future in-laws are going to be in town this weekend since the fiancee' is having her bridal shower tomorrow. Luckily the only time I'll really have to spend with them is Saturday evening (thank god for one bedroom apartments!).

But a couple of days ago the fiancee told me that he 17 year old brother wants to stay with us over the summer so that he can take some JC classes here. Uhhhh, no. That ain't happening.

[Suburban Rhythm]

He have given no facts stated that this woman is a horrible person. So why do you hate her so much? To me you just sound like a huge asshole.

Thanks. I don't hate her...but not my top choice of someone to hang out with for a week.

My main problem with her is the moment she steps foot in our house, she expects everything to be her way.

When my daughter was born 2 years ago, she spent a week with us. While the intent was nice, to help us out, etc...that didn't happen. I went to pick her up, and on the way she told me "I won't be in the way...and I won't try and change anything you two do...it's your house." Which turns out was secret code for "I will be a burden all week...and question every decision you make! HA HA"

She was up at 5:00 every morning, same time I was getting up for work. Not because she was getting up to help with the baby. Just because she chose to get up then...including one morning she felt the need to be in the shower before me. And the other mornings, she started laundry at that time (yes, EVERY morning...nobody has that much laundry!)/parked herself in front of the TV in the living room.

Basically, I had to change my routine every day for a week. So, maybe you are right, that isn't a good reason to hate her, and maybe I am an asshole. But, it sure was IRRITATING!

[KevinNU7]

Atleast you are listing some reasons now

[Suburban Rhythm]

I can probably come up with more if anyone else needs further proof...

[Suburban Rhythm]

OK...today is morning 1.

I actually had to make a grilled cheese sandwich at 5:30 this morning! Because she (mother-in-law) wanted to be she had food Lucy, my 2 year old. Lucy eats grilled cheese for lunch, EVERY DAY. Turns out my wife had to work today (thought it was only once this week, but it's 2 days!). Is it really THAT difficult to make a grilled cheese for a 2 year old?

[Joe]

why does she eat grilled cheese every day?

[Suburban Rhythm]

why does she eat grilled cheese every day?

Because she is 2, and I guess that is what 2 year olds like? If you ask her what she wants to eat, it's "Cheeeeese"

[Cringer]

My mother-in-law lives across the street from me.

Suck it.

[Solecismic]

The first thing babies learn they can control in their lives is what they eat. It's a constant battle. You quickly learn if they want a grilled cheese sandwich at 12:30 every afternoon, it's in your best interest to provide one exactly when and at the exact temperature they want it.

While they won't starve themselves, it's either that, or you end up spending half your life feeding them. They also have an annoying habit of eating three times as much during their frequent growth spurts as they do during the rest of their lives. I've seen our 35-pound child pack away more at a meal than I can.

In-laws, on the other hand, can make life a living hell. Fathers-in-law are usually easier. Just park them in front of the television, show them how the remote works and keep them fed. If you're caught in the same room, just talk about sports. Read up on their teams beforehand, and don't confuse them by talking about any players on any other teams.

Mothers-in-law are much more difficult because they compete with their daughters. And that means they want to do your housework, 24 hours a day. That will make your wife tense, and probably annoy you as well. The only safe topic of conversation is the child (if you have one), and then get ready for hours of mind-numbing discussion of the minutae of baby bowel movements.

If you're lucky, you can pretend you're really busy and dump them completely on your wife. After all, she had an 18-year head start in getting used to these people. The only real pain will be constantly having the television on at 120 decibels.

Whatever you do, don't visit them unless you can retreat safely to a hotel room and beg off much of the visit by claiming you need to work. The last time we visited our in-laws, every morning my wife's father went out in the back yard with a sledgehammer and broke rocks for three hours. How do you interact with a man who enjoys breaking rocks? It's not like anyone in either family ever spent time in one of those old-time chain-gang jails, so I don't even know where the rock-breaking hobby came from.

[Cringer]

The last time we visited our in-laws, every morning my wife's father went out in the back yard with a sledgehammer and broke rocks for three hours. How do you interact with a man who enjoys breaking rocks? It's not like anyone in either family ever spent time in one of those old-time chain-gang jails, so I don't even know where the rock-breaking hobby came from.

I could hang with this guy. :)


As for the rest of your post, I think my own family has turned into (for me) what other's in-laws are to them. I don't look forward to seeing my family very much, and have no idea what to talk to them about. My mother in-law is fairly easy for me to deal with, and there is no father in-law so no problem there.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Mothers-in-law are much more difficult because they compete with their daughters. And that means they want to do your housework, 24 hours a day. That will make your wife tense, and probably annoy you as well. The only safe topic of conversation is the child (if you have one), and then get ready for hours of mind-numbing discussion of the minutae of baby bowel movements.

FOF made me think Jim was a genius...but this confirms it.

The thing I do not understand--my wife and her mother plan this. Yet, as you stated, my wife knows it will make her tense!

No father-in-law...they divorced a long time ago.

I am not saying the woman is totally untolerable...the main thing for me is I have to change everything I do for a week.

[FrogMan]

My mother-in-law lives across the street from me.

Suck it.

mine lives 5 minutes away from us but I consider myself very lucky of that. She is in fact quite cool. Always available to babysit, she in fact demands to see her two grandsons. Even better, she comes to help us out by cleaning under the excuse that she says she's not rich enough to help us out financially with the kids. I kid you not, I never asked for anything but there she is to help us out. Sure, sometimes she can get on my nerves, but I also evade to my computer pretty often when she stops by, leaving her and my wife with the kids.

Yesterday, when I came back home from grocery shopping, I simply thought aloud "hrm, what could I eat for lunch?" to which she immediately offered "I could make you a chicken and bacon sandwich". I mean, how could a man say no to that???

Sorry if I made you all jealous, you can't have her. :D

FM

[Suburban Rhythm]

mine lives 5 minutes away from us but I consider myself very lucky of that. She is in fact quite cool. Always available to babysit, she in fact demands to see her two grandsons. Even better, she comes to help us out by cleaning under the excuse that she says she's not rich enough to help us out financially with the kids. I kid you not, I never asked for anything but there she is to help us out. Sure, sometimes she can get on my nerves, but I also evade to my computer pretty often when she stops by, leaving her and my wife with the kids.

Yesterday, when I came back home from grocery shopping, I simply thought aloud "hrm, what could I eat for lunch?" to which she immediately offered "I could make you a chicken and bacon sandwich". I could a man say no to that???

Sorry if I made you all jealous, you can't have her. :D

FM

I am sure I am an unbiased souce on this ;) --but that sound much like my mother. My parents are about 10 minutes away. My mother watches our daughter (and will watch both, 2nd one on the way in Sept) the days my wife and I both work (posted earlier in the thread, she's a nurse, only 2 or 3 days a week). So, yeah it might only be 1, or sometimes 0, day during the week. But that is a HUGE help not having to deal with daycare.

My mom actually gets UPSET the weeks my wife might work both weekend days, and begs me to bring my daughter over to see her.

I won't go as far as to say her mother doesn't want anything to do with our daughter, but I can see the very distinct ways each grandmother deals with her. When I see some of the things her mother days, it makes me wonder how my wife made it through her childhood.

Classic example. Probably about a year ago, we were at a baptism for my wife's cousin. So our daughter a little under 1 at this point. Wife has her all dressed up, fluffy dress, etc. In the church, she wanted nothing to do with anyone else but dear old dad, and ended up falling asleep. After mass, get up, carrying her out...someone pointed out to me when we got to the back of the church that one of Lucy's shoes must have fallen off. Turned back around, asked my wife if she had it--no. Her mother, who was behind her said -"Oh, it was laying up in the pew". WHAT?? Did you think we were leaving it there on purpose? Or that I knew it was there, and just felt like walking her around with one shoe on for awhile?

The total lack of common sense blows my mind...and probably what irritates me the most.

[Eaglesfan27]

The first thing babies learn they can control in their lives is what they eat. It's a constant battle. You quickly learn if they want a grilled cheese sandwich at 12:30 every afternoon, it's in your best interest to provide one exactly when and at the exact temperature they want it.

While they won't starve themselves, it's either that, or you end up spending half your life feeding them. They also have an annoying habit of eating three times as much during their frequent growth spurts as they do during the rest of their lives. I've seen our 35-pound child pack away more at a meal than I can.

In-laws, on the other hand, can make life a living hell. Fathers-in-law are usually easier. Just park them in front of the television, show them how the remote works and keep them fed. If you're caught in the same room, just talk about sports. Read up on their teams beforehand, and don't confuse them by talking about any players on any other teams.

Mothers-in-law are much more difficult because they compete with their daughters. And that means they want to do your housework, 24 hours a day. That will make your wife tense, and probably annoy you as well. The only safe topic of conversation is the child (if you have one), and then get ready for hours of mind-numbing discussion of the minutae of baby bowel movements.

If you're lucky, you can pretend you're really busy and dump them completely on your wife. After all, she had an 18-year head start in getting used to these people. The only real pain will be constantly having the television on at 120 decibels.

Whatever you do, don't visit them unless you can retreat safely to a hotel room and beg off much of the visit by claiming you need to work. The last time we visited our in-laws, every morning my wife's father went out in the back yard with a sledgehammer and broke rocks for three hours. How do you interact with a man who enjoys breaking rocks? It's not like anyone in either family ever spent time in one of those old-time chain-gang jails, so I don't even know where the rock-breaking hobby came from.

Generally very good advice. However, my father in law is visiting and he ONLY likes Alabama football. Since it is not football season and I can't get much coverage on TV of Alabama's offseason, I'm SOL. Also, he is a former military guy who finds most things on TV "disrespectful to family values." Only 2 more days until he arrives :(

[Wolfpack]

We're over 700 miles from our respective in-laws. Unfortunately, my wife's mother died when she was young, so there's nothing to that relationship and her dad is a very laid-back borderline-new-agey-yet-conservative type (weird mix) and we get along quite well.

My wife doesn't have to worry about an "Everybody Loves Raymond" situation, either, because my folks are very much the hands-off types (though I'm sure they probably discuss us and what we do with the other siblings in my family). They'll dote on the grandchildren but they won't "offer" advice on them, necessarily.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Walk into any local watering hole and take a seat next to the guy who looks like he could break rocks using his bare hands. Then inform him that the Seahawks really should have won the game and that the Steelers won't even make the playoffs next season because they are a bunch of pansies... just like the average resident of Pittsburgs. Follow it up with a loud BROWNS RULE!!! and spill your beer on him.

When you get out of the hospital you mother-in-law will have left.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Walk into any local watering hole and take a seat next to the guy who looks like he could break rocks using his bare hands. Then inform him that the Seahawks really should have won the game and that the Steelers won't even make the playoffs next season because they are a bunch of pansies... just like the average resident of Pittsburgs. Follow it up with a loud BROWNS RULE!!! and spill your beer on him.

When you get out of the hospital you mother-in-law will have left.

But I'm from Pittsburgh....and would never waste a beer...and could never bring myself to say BROWNS RULE, even if it got rid of the mother in law, I don't think. Talk about Catch 22

[Suburban Rhythm]

On a positive note...she did not call here all day. Which means things went well...or the house has burned down.

[Silver Owl]

I must have gotten lucky with my in-laws. Both are wonderful people. My 70 year old mother-in-law even plays in my monthly texas holdem home game.

[Greyroofoo]

is the mother-in-law hot?

[Marc Vaughan]

I must have gotten lucky with my in-laws. Both are wonderful people.
Was thinking along similar lines myself - I get on fine with mine (which is just as well seeing as last time we visited we stayed with Becca's mom for a week).

[Joe]

My mother-in-law lives across the street from me.

Suck it.


ahh we finally learn the true reason for cringer being on the road 5 days a week.

;)

[Suburban Rhythm]

is the mother-in-law hot?

We could do a poll if everyone really wanted to see Sarah Jessica Parker move out of last place?

Only thing I can say about last night--between me getting home at 5:45, and my 2 year old going to bed at 9:00, she ate a cup of pudding, a cup of applesauce, and some mac & cheese. Of course, what I heard was "She didn't want to eat all day!"

Times like these, I question how my wife made it as far as she did!

[Samdari]

I like it when my mother in law visits.

Generally, all of the blathering is redirected from me to said mother in law. Its a nice break. Plus she watches the Truckload of Joy (TM) and does laundry. What's not to love.

[Suburban Rhythm]

While I generally avoid the blathering, my wife worked yesterday, not home until 8:00, so I had 2+ hours of quality time.

My wife is off today. I will enjoy getting home tonight to see how tense she is from spending all day with her mom.

[Samdari]

While I generally avoid the blathering, my wife worked yesterday, not home until 8:00, so I had 2+ hours of quality time.

My wife is off today. I will enjoy getting home tonight to see how tense she is from spending all day with her mom.

Ah, I see. My wife is never more relaxed than when spending time with her mother.

[FrogMan]

Ah, I see. My wife is never more relaxed than when spending time with her mother.

Almost the same here, although I wouldn't say she's "never more relaxed", my wife's definitely not grinding her teeth from the moment her mom comes in the house. When your wife has trouble standing her own mom, it can't be good...

FM

[Suburban Rhythm]

When your wife has trouble standing her own mom, it can't be good...

FM

I wouldn't say she can't stand her...but she gets irritated. Which sort of makes you wonder why she even suggests her mom come stay with us, huh?
I posted somewhere in here earlier, she sort of feels obligated to do so...at least IMO.

By the end of the week, she'll be asking me where certain things are that her mother "cleaned up" and now she can't find. And I just smile.

[judicial clerk]

Quit your bitching. My mother in law comes to viit for up to 5 weeks at a time! And she brings our 12 yo niece who she raises.

we give her our bed when she comes b/c its hard for her to use the stairs. she also does not even watch our 3yo daughter when she visits b/c its too hard or something. what she does do is try to rearrange our house and give us unsolicited advice on how we could do just about everything in our life different. she also doesn't want to leave the house for the five week period, except to go to shopping at walmart or the dollar store.

Also, the niece has no manners, doesnt get up til noon and doesnt go to bed til midnight. last trip we caught her having phone sex with her boyfriend at 3am. the in law is afrad to let the kid out of her sight, so the kid has to sit in the house for he same five week period.

did i mention that every other night the in-law wants to talk about how the Mexicans are ruining caifornia or the gays are ruining the USA?

[JeeberD]

Generally very good advice. However, my father in law is visiting and he ONLY likes Alabama football. Since it is not football season and I can't get much coverage on TV of Alabama's offseason, I'm SOL. Also, he is a former military guy who finds most things on TV "disrespectful to family values." Only 2 more days until he arrives :(

My future father-in-law doesn't like sports at all...well, aside from bowling. In fact, the couple of times that I've been at their house for Thanksgiving my fiancee's entire family thought I was nuts for wanting to watch the Cowboys game instead of going to see a movie...

[Suburban Rhythm]

Quit your bitching. My mother in law comes to viit for up to 5 weeks at a time! And she brings our 12 yo niece who she raises.

we give her our bed when she comes b/c its hard for her to use the stairs. she also does not even watch our 3yo daughter when she visits b/c its too hard or something. what she does do is try to rearrange our house and give us unsolicited advice on how we could do just about everything in our life different. she also doesn't want to leave the house for the five week period, except to go to shopping at walmart or the dollar store.

Also, the niece has no manners, doesnt get up til noon and doesnt go to bed til midnight. last trip we caught her having phone sex with her boyfriend at 3am. the in law is afrad to let the kid out of her sight, so the kid has to sit in the house for he same five week period.

did i mention that every other night the in-law wants to talk about how the Mexicans are ruining caifornia or the gays are ruining the USA?

You win! :eek:

[Suburban Rhythm]

I made it...barely.

In a strange twist, the MIL has decided she could go home tonight. However, my wife works until 7:00, won't be home until 8:00. So, while she was planning on taking her tomorrow, she said I could talk her tonight.

I tried not to seem over-eager, but starting to pack the car last night might have given that away! ;)

Mostly, I tried to avoid as much as possible...and other than this post earlier:

Only thing I can say about last night--between me getting home at 5:45, and my 2 year old going to bed at 9:00, she ate a cup of pudding, a cup of applesauce, and some mac & cheese. Of course, what I heard was "She didn't want to eat all day!"


I foolishly mentioned it to my wife, which turned into me obviously just complaining about her mother. I should learn to keep my mouth shut.