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RedKingGold
05-12-2006, 10:52 PM
So, I just found out that one of my close friends from high school (I haven't spoken to him since 2003) has just died of alcohol poisoning three days before graduating from college. I stopped talking to him because he decided to take on a harder lifestyle before we graduated high school.

I was planning on having a reunion in my hometown this summer, and I was hoping to finally talk to him then. I came across in MySpace and messaged him a few times less than a month ago. I feel horrible for not being a better friend, and now its too late.

I guess I'll get that reunion after all....except it will be at his funeral. I'm more dazed than upset actually. Too many people my age do stupid things without foresight. I had another not so close friend (a fellow Eagle Scout) commit suicide in January.

It's just weird because these are kids I not only grew up with, but know quite well. I guess this is just a part of growing up. I feel truly fortunate to know my boundaries and feel secure enough in my future not to do anything that risky. It's still scary though because I do drink and drink a lot when I do drink (although not to the point of blackout).

Sorry for the post, I just felt like talking a little bit about it, and I somewhat feel comfortable on this message board. I've read a lot of the communitie's stories about tragedies that have happened to members (such as Icy, where my pain does not even closely compare to what you and your family is going though).

I guess (at the end of all this rambling), even though we all have our disagreements, its nice to know you can go somewhere to forget about the outside world......even if it is for only 10 minutes.

So, thank you to everyone for giving me a voice, allowing me to get some "inner-monologue" out and for being a community.

Celeval
05-12-2006, 10:57 PM
I'm sorry to hear it, man. He and you are in my prayers.

Vince
05-13-2006, 01:45 AM
RKG, that's terrible. Don't feel bad about not being a better friend -- it's not your responsibility, and you didn't do anything wrong. People grow apart, it happens. My best friend from High School (someone I spent 6.75 of 7 days out of every week with for four+ years) died of Skin Cancer when we were both Seniors in college. I hadn't talked to him in a year and a half, and I didn't find out he died until 6 months after the fact. I felt absolutely terrible for a long, long time for the same reasons you said: I wished I were a better friend, I felt like I should have been there, etc, etc. It was still very difficult, and to this day it's tough to think about him. But getting over that feeling of guilt, that I "shoulda, coulda, woulda", was one of the best corners I have ever turned.

Sorry to hear about your loss :(

MIJB#19
05-13-2006, 08:18 AM
Sorry to read that, buddy.

MizzouRah
05-13-2006, 10:41 AM
Terrible news. :(

Emiliano
05-13-2006, 11:25 AM
Very sorry to hear about your loss RKG. Certainly, it's not your fault and you don't have to feel responsible about it.

A-Husker-4-Life
05-13-2006, 11:30 AM
Sorry to hear about the loss, that's a terrible way to abuse your body but sometime we all do it.. Again Sorry..