So my wife went out to the store tonight....

[Warhammer]

...and my 4 year old goes into the bathroom. Our 18 month old is at the point where we are getting ready to potty train, so we encourage him to watch daddy and big brother go potty...

I'm on the computer and the 18 month old is playing. Suddenly it gets quiet, I call to the 4 year old and ask where his brother is. His answer?

"He's in here eating my poop!"

:eek:


:eek:


:mad:

I tear in there, send the 4 year old to his room, and the 18 month old has a smudge of poop on his upper lip! ARGH!

Sorry, had to share...

My wife is going to kill me...

[Glengoyne]

LOL!

[DaddyTorgo]

HAHA. that's pretty damm amusing

[PilotMan]

That is good. Don't even get me started on the 'poop train' story.

[st.cronin]

I just decided I'm not having kids.

[vex]

lol, he'll never live that down when he's older.

[sabotai]

My wife is going to kill me...

She has to know?

[Desmond]

When Your Son Drops A Bomb And The Other One Eats It.

[Warhammer]

She has to know?

Yes she knows, she thinks its pretty damn funny... She's mad, but she can't keep a straight face, I thought she'd be a bit more upset.

[sovereignstar]

X: Man, this cafeteria food tastes like shit.
Y: You've tasted shit before?
X: Yes.

[chinaski]

lol!

[Joe]

what

[miami_fan]

History has been made! This is the first time I have actually laughed myself to tears after reading something on FOFC.

[Glengoyne]

Honestly. The thing I appreciate most is that the four year old didn't say anything until asked.

"Where's your brother?"

"Oh he's in here eating my poop!"

[sabotai]

"I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast."

"You eat pieces of shit breakfast!?"

".......NO!"

[vex]

Honestly. The thing I appreciate most is that the four year old didn't say anything until asked.

"Where's your brother?"

"Oh he's in here eating my poop!"

Yup:)

[NoMyths]

Never ever ever remind either of them of this at any point ever. It will not be amusing to the younger at all, no matter how much it is to us. :D

[Greyroofoo]

18 months old and your son is already getting shit-faced, you must be proud.

[Bearcat729]

...and my 4 year old goes into the bathroom. Our 18 month old is at the point where we are getting ready to potty train, so we encourage him to watch daddy and big brother go potty...

I'm on the computer and the 18 month old is playing. Suddenly it gets quiet, I call to the 4 year old and ask where his brother is. His answer?

"He's in here eating my poop!"

:eek:


:eek:


:mad:

I tear in there, send the 4 year old to his room, and the 18 month old has a smudge of poop on his upper lip! ARGH!

Sorry, had to share...

My wife is going to kill me...


http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y284/PCM72/That-Is-Disgusting-Radio.jpg

[Draft Dodger]

as the father of a 4 year old and a 16 month old...I know what you're going through.

I had to send this to my wife.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

You should have taken a picture for his senior yearbook. :D

[JeeberD]

And there went my dinner... :(

[saldana]

funniest thing i have ever heard.

[SackAttack]

This thread gave Dad the heebie jeebies, and I didn't think anything could do that.

Congrats, Warhammer!

[MalcPow]

That is really great. I can't stop laughing

[Rizon]

Did it taste good? Maybe we are all missing out on something.

[Joe]

And there went my dinner... :(

you were eating poop too?

[Solecismic]

We are so late to the potty training game. Just starting this week, with our 38-month-old. Of course, he's just about done with it. Only every time he sees me now, he rushes out to grab his portable potty, places it in front of me, drops his pants and squats. This could get embarrassing in a store.

[Ksyrup]

We're having a hard time getting our 2 year old (just turned 2 on the 10th) interested at all. She gets upset when we prod her, so we've laid off for now (especially with all the crap we've got going on with the upcoming move, etc.). But we've got to get her motivated soon.

[GreenMonster]

Imagine if your 4 year old said nothing, you would be wondering were the 18 month old got the chocolate from..

[Eaglesfan27]

I always find parent's interest in potty training, fascinating. I understand the motivation to get it done as soon as possible, but it seems like many parents are trying to push it up earlier and earlier.

[Swaggs]

I think you are screwed for the rest of your parental career now.

For the next 18 years, anytime you try to call her on a questionable parenting move, she can just respond with, "At least I am not the one that let him eat poop."

[caspanky]

Yeah, but it could work out good for him too. Next time she asks him to do something he doesn't want to he can reply, "I'm not sure I can handle that, remember I'm the one who let him eat poop."

[ISiddiqui]

EWWWWWWWWWWW!

[Anthony]

X: Man, this cafeteria food tastes like shit.
Y: You've tasted shit before?
X: Yes.

close/lock the thread now.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Wait until your mother-in-law is over the house, then tell the little one "Go give Grandma a kiss."

Then try and hold in the laughter.

[JS19]

That is hilarious.

It makes me wonder, how exactly do you go about washing shit out of someone's mouth?

[Rizon]

That is hilarious.

It makes me wonder, how exactly do you go about washing shit out of someone's mouth?

You have them rinse out their mouth with piss, of course.

[Chief Rum]

I always find parent's interest in potty training, fascinating. I understand the motivation to get it done as soon as possible, but it seems like many parents are trying to push it up earlier and earlier.

heh heh what's not to understand? Not only do the early potty pooper parents get to avoid changing diapers, they get to brag about their kids for figuring it out sooner than most, if it works.

[kingfc22]

rofl

[Butter]

I always find parent's interest in potty training, fascinating. I understand the motivation to get it done as soon as possible, but it seems like many parents are trying to push it up earlier and earlier.

Saves on diapers.

[ice4277]

Greatest short story EVER.

[Glengoyne]

I think you are screwed for the rest of your parental career now.

For the next 18 years, anytime you try to call her on a questionable parenting move, she can just respond with, "At least I am not the one that let him eat poop."

With our daughter and first child my wife was able to lord over me that I dropped the kid when she was only a couple of months old. Truth be told, I sat her on an ottoman, and she rolled off. Since then though I'm pretty sure my wife has lapped me several times in the dropped kid department.

[stevew]

This thread is not safe for breakfast.

[Huckleberry]

I always find parent's interest in potty training, fascinating. I understand the motivation to get it done as soon as possible, but it seems like many parents are trying to push it up earlier and earlier.

My older daughter was completely potty trained before two years old. Never wore a diaper after 23 months. She did that simply by being interested in following my wife when she went to the bathroom. We didn't ever do anything special.

My younger daughter is now almost two-and-a-half and has successfully taken exactly one dump on the potty in her life. She's getting better at peeing in the potty, but that's it. We're not pushing her too hard by any means, but from experience I can understand the reasons people might. I love my older daughter a little more every time I change a diaper on my younger one. ;)

[Lorena]

...and my 4 year old goes into the bathroom. Our 18 month old is at the point where we are getting ready to potty train, so we encourage him to watch daddy and big brother go potty...

I'm on the computer and the 18 month old is playing. Suddenly it gets quiet, I call to the 4 year old and ask where his brother is. His answer?

"He's in here eating my poop!"

:eek:


:eek:


:mad:

I tear in there, send the 4 year old to his room, and the 18 month old has a smudge of poop on his upper lip! ARGH!

Sorry, had to share...

My wife is going to kill me...

Great story to embarass him with when he has a girlfriend :p

[gildawg]

X: Eat shit and die!
Y: HA! Jokes on you. I have ate shit, and I didn't die.

We also have two totally different situations with the potty training. Our oldest was easy and got it done before she turned three. My youngest is going to turn 4 in September and is just now showing an insterest. She has been a little late in most stuff, talking, walking, but once she does it, she hits the ground running. But I hope she doesn't run while she is taking a dump though.

[Lorena]

X: Eat shit and die!
Y: HA! Jokes on you. I have ate shit, and I didn't die.

We also have two totally different situations with the potty training. Our oldest was easy and got it done before she turned three. My youngest is going to turn 4 in September and is just now showing an insterest. She has been a little late in most stuff, talking, walking, but once she does it, she hits the ground running. But I hope she doesn't run while she is taking a dump though.

ROFL!! :D

[Franklinnoble]

We are so late to the potty training game. Just starting this week, with our 38-month-old. Of course, he's just about done with it. Only every time he sees me now, he rushes out to grab his portable potty, places it in front of me, drops his pants and squats. This could get embarrassing in a store.

Actually, late potty training is probably easier for the kid. Our 2 year old isn't trained yet - we'll probably get him done when he's closer to 3.

Basically, the best tactic is to wait until 3, then start training. The first time he craps his britches, you make HIM clean it up. Won't ever happen again.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

X: Eat shit and die!
Y: HA! Jokes on you. I have ate shit, and I didn't die.

We also have two totally different situations with the potty training. Our oldest was easy and got it done before she turned three. My youngest is going to turn 4 in September and is just now showing an insterest. She has been a little late in most stuff, talking, walking, but once she does it, she hits the ground running. But I hope she doesn't run while she is taking a dump though.

Mine was trained at two, but still found actually using the toilet/potty rather bothersome. At 4, she was playing in a playground and I thought I smelled something. I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom. "No." When we left, I smelled something in the car and I asked again. "No." We got to my mother's place and she kept denying it. I took her in the bathroom and said "Drop them." She started crying. I pulled them down and almost vomited from the sight of a full load, dried to her butt. I never yelled at her louder than that day. I distinctly remember as I cleaned her up saying "The only reason I'm not beating your ass right now is because it's covered with shit! But don't think you're getting out of it, because as soon as I get your ass clean, I am going to beat the living shit out of you!" Yes, she got a spanking, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounds...

I scared her more than anything. Since I never curse around her, the usage of such language had an impact! What's funny is that she stopped having her "accidents" after that. Her mother even yelled at me that I couldn't take credit for that, "after all the work that (she) did to get her to stop having accidents." She only had one more that I know of, but it wasn't exactly her fault. The Tickle Monster attacked her, and she's screaming "STOP!" and the Tickle Monster didn't listen. I had been laying down and she had sat next to me when the tickle attack had commenced. Somehow, she had got to the point where she was sitting on my head when I heard a loud, muffled noise ad felt a great deal of air pressure expelled against my cranium. The Tickle Monster stopped. It sounded worse than a fart, so I asked her if she had an accident. She didn't get in trouble for that one, even though she had shit on my head!

[KevinNU7]

"The only reason I'm not beating your ass right now is because it's covered with shit! But don't think you're getting out of it, because as soon as I get your ass clean, I am going to beat the living shit out of you!"
I really hope these quotes were changed to sound "internet cool" talking to a 4 year old like this is unacceptable.

[bulletsponge]

wait a minuet. for all we know his kid wagered 20 bucks that he could crap out of his mouth, and he did! check to see if he has 20 bucks stashed somewhere!

[bbor]

M GO BLUE will forever now be known as shithead:D

[Deattribution]

Mine was trained at two, but still found actually using the toilet/potty rather bothersome. At 4, she was playing in a playground and I thought I smelled something. I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom. "No." When we left, I smelled something in the car and I asked again. "No." We got to my mother's place and she kept denying it. I took her in the bathroom and said "Drop them." She started crying. I pulled them down and almost vomited from the sight of a full load, dried to her butt. I never yelled at her louder than that day. I distinctly remember as I cleaned her up saying "The only reason I'm not beating your ass right now is because it's covered with shit! But don't think you're getting out of it, because as soon as I get your ass clean, I am going to beat the living shit out of you!" Yes, she got a spanking, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounds...

I scared her more than anything. Since I never curse around her, the usage of such language had an impact!

You sure showed her! Hi-five man! If you hurry I think you can catch some preschoolers on the walk home from school.

Needless to say, I wouldn't put that story on your resume for dad of the year. Especially if she kills you when she turns 18 for beating her for being a 4 year old. Effective isn't always right.

[KWhit]

You know what else works? Sticking her head in the toilet and flushing. Preferably right after you just dropped a load.

High five!

[Glengoyne]

While I'm not big on coddling kids, I try not to Blow my stack and react in anger. Though sometimes, it gets the best of me. Once my daughter, approximately two at the time, answered the phone in our office while I was in the front room. When I went into the office to retrieve the phone from her, I discovered she had set down a screwdriver to answer the phone. She had been using the screwdriver to "draw" on my monitor. Essentially scraping the anti-glare coating off of my 19 inch flat screen monitor...ruining it. It was beyond my ability to contain myself. I exploded. As a result she, now six, remembers the day she got daddy mad, and knows she plenty well not to do more than type on daddy's computer. On a side note, a fellow member of the I attend, probably believes curse at my kids all the time.

Yelling at or spanking a kid isn't always out of place, although I don't think my account nor MGoBlue's are shining examples of that belief.

[Schmidty]

I missed this thread yesterday, and I wish I had missed it today. I literally gagged and almost vomited.

I don't do well with feces, and this story was too much for me. :(

[Warhammer]

I gotta ask, what the heck is the "poop train"?

As far as potty training goes, Anthony, our 4 year old, would have been trained at one year. He was really good about it, then he got sick, then the wife and I got sick, and then we had the Christmas holidays, so all our work was wasted. He was trained by 18 months though.

It's really more a matter of training the parents than it is the child. If you know the times when they go, just put them on the can at that time, and read a book to them while they sit. Suddenly, something comes out, they realize what it is, and they get excited. You make a big deal out of it, and they get encouraged to do it more and more.

[Joe]

I gotta ask, what the heck is the "poop train"?

As far as potty training goes, Anthony, our 4 year old, would have been trained at one year. He was really good about it, then he got sick, then the wife and I got sick, and then we had the Christmas holidays, so all our work was wasted. He was trained by 18 months though.

It's really more a matter of training the parents than it is the child. If you know the times when they go, just put them on the can at that time, and read a book to them while they sit. Suddenly, something comes out, they realize what it is, and they get excited. You make a big deal out of it, and they get encouraged to do it more and more.

1. poop poo train



A toy train where human fieces are the engine and cars, twigs are used to connect them, and rocks are the wheels.

Jim Bob was so poor when he was a kid his parents could not even afford to buy him a poop poo train. But look at him now, he has a whole collection.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=poop+poo+train

[MizzouRah]

Funny stuff!!

[Radii]

I don't think the urbandictionary story is what was being referred to... I remember something about the poop train in the parents anonymous thread.

[terpkristin]

Wow.

This thread by far outstrips anything my parents have told me I did as a kid, or anything I remember my younger siblings doing...

Bravo! :D

/tk

[Warhammer]

I think it comes from my wife's side of the family, her and her older sister tied up their oldest sister to a tree until she peed her pants when they were kids...