Jose Mesa > Chuck Norris

[Swaggs]

From his bio at: http://colorado.rockies.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/player.jsp?player_id=118986

Full Name: Jose Ramon Mesa
Born: 05/22/1966

Jose Ramon Mesa...he and his wife Mirla have 6 children; sons Ralph (6/29/79), Juan Jose (8/4/85), Jesse (8/17/88), and Jose Jr. (8/13/93), and daughters Yamely (1/15/74) and Yenny (7/16/87)...

Jose Mesa was producing babies at age 7.

[Franklinnoble]

Somewhere, Debra LaFave is smiling.

[SackAttack]

Somehow I doubt he was really born in 1966.

[Neon_Chaos]

Anyone who names his daughters YAMELY and YENNY is > Chuck Norris to me.

[Shkspr]

I heard that Jose Mesa vowed to hit Chuck Norris with a baseball whenever the two faced each other.

[Jake Plummer]

Any chance that the older kids are from a previous marriage for the wife?

[Pumpy Tudors]

Any chance that the older kids are from a previous marriage for the wife?
No. None. You don't know the power of Jose Mesa. He is legendary here in the Pittsburgh area. Outside PNC Park, a fan would lay a jelly bean at the base of Roberto Clemente's statue every time Jose Mesa gave up a home run or game-winning hit. Even though Mesa only pitched here for two years, Clemente is now up to his eyeballs in Jelly Bellys. Watch the All-Star Game this year. You'll see.

[stevew]

Fuck Jose Mesa up his stupid ass.

[PackerFanatic]

Plus he had the first boy at age 11.

WTF...

[JeeberD]

Plus he had the first boy at age 11.

WTF...

Math was never a strong area for you, was it?

[chinaski]

i love joe table.

[MalcPow]

At age sixteen Jose Mesa gave up a game-winning homerun that tore a hole in the space-time continuum. He was then able to step through that hole, go back in time, father a child (or two), and then return to the mound again the exact instant following the homerun. Having done this once, Mesa has perfected the art of allowing singularly incredible homerun balls to be hit off of him, and he regularly travels through time ensuring that there will always be a general manager in baseball stupid enough to sign him to a contract.

[Swaggs]

At age sixteen Jose Mesa gave up a game-winning homerun that tore a hole in the space-time continuum. He was then able to step through that hole, go back in time, father a child (or two), and then return to the mound again the exact instant following the homerun. Having done this once, Mesa has perfected the art of allowing singularly incredible homerun balls to be hit off of him, and he regularly travels through time ensuring that there will always be a general manager in baseball stupid enough to sign him to a contract.

I like this theory better than the one about the kids being his wife's from a previous marriage.

[stevew]

At age sixteen Jose Mesa gave up a game-winning homerun that tore a hole in the space-time continuum. He was then able to step through that hole, go back in time, father a child (or two), and then return to the mound again the exact instant following the homerun. Having done this once, Mesa has perfected the art of allowing singularly incredible homerun balls to be hit off of him, and he regularly travels through time ensuring that there will always be a general manager in baseball stupid enough to sign him to a contract.

The Mesa Effect.

Should write a spec script for a movie based on this theory.

[Swaggs]

The Mesa Effect.

Should write a spec script for a movie based on this theory.

Ashton Kutcher could produce it and Wilmer Valderamma could play Jose Mesa.

[sterlingice]

Anyone who names his daughters YAMELY and YENNY is > Chuck Norris to me.

Those were what jumped out in the article at me. What was he thinking with those names?

SI