So I tried to adopt a cat today...(update: WE GOT HER!)

[kingnebwsu]

UPDATE: WE GOT THE CAT!!! See post at the top of page 2 for details!

And things did not go as planned. Me and the girlfriend just moved into a new apartment on Saturday and part of the reason for moving was because we could have cats with no extra rent involved. So today we went to a non-profit local pet place to pick up our first pet. As soon as we got in the room to look at the cats, there was an older male volunteer there (about 55-60 y/o). I told him we were just looking around and he gave me kind of a weird look. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I just got a weird vibe off him.

We looked around for about 30-45 minutes and found this cat who seemed to suit us nicely. She's about 15 months old, is spayed, and was really nice to both of us. She let us hold her for like 5 minutes. We passed her back and forth and she was purring the whole time. My girlfriend was so happy.

I filled out a form with the standard questions like "any other pets?", "are you allergic?" and "how will you care for your pet?" and I completed it no problem. I put down that I was allergic to cats, even though I've never been tested and considered officially "allergic." We had cats all when I was growing up (age 8 and up), and some mornings I would wake up congested. No big deal, and I explained to the guy what I meant by "allergic."

So we hold the cat for a while and the guy asks us to follow him to the "adoption completion" room. We do and he tells us that even though all the cats there really need homes, he can't give us one because he'd hate for the cat to go through all that and then have us bring it back because I couldn't handle the allergies.

The girlfriend is crying pretty hard at this point, and I try to calmly explain to the volunteer that the allergies will be no problem and that I won't bring the cat back because of my allergies. I also explained to him that I've been around cats all my life and that I'll be fine, but it's like he doesn't even listen to me and escorts us back to the room where all the cats are in their cages. My girlfriend puts the cat back in the cage (even though it was clinging to her), and we leave.

The rest of the night has been pretty terrible. We've both been kinda bummed. It's weird too, cuz I have this strange empty feeling in my stomach...a feeling I'm not used to having. We've been waiting for a long time to get a cat and now that we can't some piece of crap deems us "unfit"???

Yes, I did try to explain everything to him, but it's like he wasn't even listening. I wonder if we looked a little older (we're 26&21) or if we had a child with us (we don't have any kids) if we would have been turned away. It's like, we're willing to give the cat a good home, and you bastards turn us away?!? We would have just gone to another local shelter, but the cat we found seemed to match who we are really well.

I want to write an angry E-mail/letter or call them or something, but it's like I have no control over the situation. I also really wanted to yell at the guy, but I'm too damn nice to do that.

They're closed on Tuesday and Wednesday, and my girlfriend's mom is going to go there on Friday. Hopefully the cat is still there on Friday night when she goes there. It's like, I just wanna make something happen so my girlfriend and I can go pick it up on Thursday afternoon before we have to work.

So anyway, I need some input from my fellow FOFC'ers on how I should proceed. I have the company's E-mail here and I could also call them on Thursday. But it's all so damn frustrating. It's like, how does this guy know what kind of people we are? We were all smiles the whole time and giving the cat lots of affection.

I'm so angry/sad right now, and I wanna go find the "volunteer" and kick his ass good. I almost just start yelling and making a big scene at the place today, but again...I'm too nice.

Any help/advice/whatever would be appreciated. Hopefully this is just a bump in the road and we'll have our cat this weekend. Thanks guys.

-Ben

[kingnebwsu]

One more thing, it's like the "volunteer" had pre-judged us or something. I can't quite explain it, but I got the vibe from the moment he was there that something wasn't quite right. Just the way he was acting was all distant and not happy at all. I got the feeling that maybe someone earlier in the day had returned a cat because they had allergies.

Stereotyping bastard...he can burn in hell.

[Joe]

One more thing, it's like the "volunteer" had pre-judged us or something. I can't quite explain it, but I got the vibe from the moment he was there that something wasn't quite right. Just the way he was acting was all distant and not happy at all. I got the feeling that maybe someone earlier in the day had returned a cat because they had allergies.

Stereotyping bastard...he can burn in hell.

this volunteer was probably there completing his court ordered community service

[DaddyTorgo]

maybe next time you shouldn't put down that you're allergic

[SackAttack]

speaking of stereotyping bastards... :D

[chinaski]

i say go back and get your damn cat! do they really think someone with cat allergies is going to adopt a cat?

[MrBug708]

When someone asks you if you're a god, you tell them Yes! Not no!

Sorry to hear, kinda sad...

[Lathum]

I would just ask for his supervisor and explain the situation. I am sure if the shelter is closed the next 2 days you can get your cat on thursday.

[Neuqua]

I say you wait until that old guy isn't working anymore and just go in again.

[Craptacular]

My wife and I volunteer for a Siberian Husky rescue organization, and we do home visits to see if a person or family is a "good fit". We don't actually make the decision (we send a report to the board), but our input is most of the info the board uses to make it. Some of the questions we ask are designed to explore the possibility of the new owner(s) bringing the dog back for different reasons. There are other questions that are basically an automatic rejection for the applicant if they answer a certain way (such as if they plan to use an invisible fence for containment). Perhaps the allergy question is one of those for this particular shelter.

[GoldenEagle]

At most shelters, a volunteer can never make a decision like this. Call the head of the shelter and talk to that person about the situation. It also would not surprise me if that volunteer wanted that kitty.

[Swaggs]

It sounds like having allergies is a red flag for them and that he pretty well explained that to you and why (because shelters do not want to let people adopt animals and then have them realize that they cannot live with the pet). Having allergies, having other pets (in some cases), and/or having small children (in some cases) all seem like reasonable reasons to not give an animal up for adoption to me.

I would not make too big of a scene with an email or talking to a supervisor, because they will just point to your application and again tell you why they declined you and they will probably remember you then. I would send your girlfriend and her mother (or other family member) to get the cat you want as soon as you can.

[aran]

...If you were particularly allergic to cats, wouldn't being in the store be an issue for you, especially considering how long you were there?

[SackAttack]

I would suggest against the gf if you're worried about them remembering somebody, because if she cried, that could be a trigger.

But the mom or another family member, yeah.

[clintl]

I have a friend who runs a cat rescue organization (she's talked me into being one of her foster homes). I'm usually not around on adoption days, other than to drop my foster cat off and pick it up, but I have been around on occasion when she interviews prospective adopters, and she gives them a pretty good grilling before she lets someone adopt. I'm not sure exactly what she's looking for (although I know if you say you're going to let the cat go outside, it's not going to help). These people are really focused on getting pets to the right home, not just getting them a home.

I agree with Swaggs - don't make a big deal out of it. Just send your girlfriend and her mother to try to adopt the cat, and hope they don't recognize your girlfriend.

[sabotai]

Those cat adoption places can be a real pain in the ass. It took a friend of mine 2 weeks and 3 different places to finally get a cat.

[Franklinnoble]

Those places CAN be a pain in the ass. When we moved into our new home, there were several strays that came with the place. We'd bring them in to get fixed, and the people working there ALWAYS had attitude. I always got the impression that they were really in the wrong line of work. I've never met a more cynical, anti-social bunch of people than those who work at the cat shelter.

Anyhow, I have one cat who just had kittens. If I hurry, I can probably stuff one in a first class envelope before it grows too big and mail it out to you. ;)

[wade moore]

Those places CAN be a pain in the ass. When we moved into our new home, there were several strays that came with the place. We'd bring them in to get fixed, and the people working there ALWAYS had attitude. I always got the impression that they were really in the wrong line of work. I've never met a more cynical, anti-social bunch of people than those who work at the cat shelter.


If you volunteered or worked at a cat shelter, you'd understand.

[RPI-Fan]

Funny, my sister had pretty much the EXACT same thing happen (except they didn't turn her away, they were just total assholes).

In the end the cat has wound up being a huge jerk though. :( The jerks at the shelter must have rubbed off on her.

[stevew]

I think the lesson to be learned is to not give out any information other than what is absolutely essential.

[Butter]

maybe next time you shouldn't put down that you're allergic

..

[gstelmack]

Sorry, but I've had to deal with a dog we had to give up having to go to another home because someone who thought they could handle the allergies couldn't. Until you actually have a cat living at home for a while, you don't know how your allergies will react to that particular cat. As someone with asthma and with cat allergies, I can tell you that I have a lot lower tolerance for cats than I did as a child, and can't be in a house with them for more than a few hours without significant issues (whereas I did okay with them growing up).

They are just doing their best to look out for the cats. Rescue cats have already been kicked out once, getting kicked out again is NOT a good thing. These are volunteers trying to do their best for the cats, and they have every right to pick and choose on whatever picky basis they want before giving them up to a new owner.

If you really still want a cat, look in the paper for someone giving away free kittens and take one in as its first real home. Or if you really want an older cat, there are sites that will list pets being given up by their owners (rather than a full rescue organization). Do some web searches in your area and you ought to be able to find something. Or pick up the local paper.

[rkmsuf]

guy did you a favor. cat...meh.

don't even have the thing yet and it's causing all kinds of problems

[JeeberD]

The fiancee' and I went and played with the kitties that were up for adoption at Petsmart on Sunday, and I found a kitten that was cute as hell and sweet as hell yet very playful. I wanted to bring him home, but alas...the stupid apartment complex won't let us have more than 2 animals.

[Ryche]

I do think they were trying to do what was best for the cat. Giving a cat to someone who is allergic to cats is a huge red flag. Even if you promise you won't bring it back, who's to say you wouldn't dump it at the side of the road? (I know you wouldn't, but sadly there are plenty of people out there who would)

But that said, if you truly want the cat and are committed to making sure the cat has a good home, then get someone else in there to get it. And yes, always consider the information you are providing.

[Franklinnoble]

The fiancee' and I went and played with the kitties that were up for adoption at Petsmart on Sunday, and I found a kitten that was cute as hell and sweet as hell yet very playful. I wanted to bring him home, but alas...the stupid apartment complex won't let us have more than 2 animals.

How would they know?

[JeeberD]

Maintenance men come in to fix things or do routine maintenance on occasion. On the slip that they have to fill out (and leave a carbon copy in the apartment indicating that they were in there) are the following:

"Animals present? Y/N"
"If yes, how many? _____"

I got busted a couple of apartments ago, I'm not going to risk it again...

[st.cronin]

My experience with apartments is they don't really care what rules you break, so long as a) nobody complains, and b) you pay the rent on time.

ymmv

[Drake]

Why do they think you would take it back? When I get tired of my cats, I just drown them.

[Franklinnoble]

Maintenance men come in to fix things or do routine maintenance on occasion. On the slip that they have to fill out (and leave a carbon copy in the apartment indicating that they were in there) are the following:

"Animals present? Y/N"
"If yes, how many? _____"

I got busted a couple of apartments ago, I'm not going to risk it again...

So bribe the maintenance dude. :D

[gstelmack]

The fiancee' and I went and played with the kitties that were up for adoption at Petsmart on Sunday, and I found a kitten that was cute as hell and sweet as hell yet very playful. I wanted to bring him home, but alas...the stupid apartment complex won't let us have more than 2 animals.

And the fiancee' doesn't want to give you up so she can adopt the kitten?

(sorry, that was too good an opening)

[Ryche]

My experience with apartments is they don't really care what rules you break, so long as a) nobody complains, and b) you pay the rent on time.

ymmv

Exactly, especially if they're having trouble keeping their units filled. They'll overlook it. Of course, leaving a 10 or 20 for the maintenance guy wouldn't hurt.

[RendeR]

Just take this as a learning experience:

A) Never answer yes to ANY question that could give them reason to deny your application, this is generally common sense. You never offer more information than is needed to achieve the set goal.

B) The people who work at these places aren't there for you, they are there for the animals and to provide the best service and support they can for the animals, you as the potential adoptor are being judged as to your competance and potential as caregivers for those animals, expect the workers to be cold, and even rude at times with their questions/reactions.

the reason that both A and B exist is the useless assholes out there who get pets for their kids or family, discover they don't want to deal with them and dump them in shelters or on the street. If human beings could treat each other and all life better perhaps the shelters and adoption folks would be more pleasent to deal with.

I am sorry you had such a rough experience, I hope your GF feels better and you guys finally get a pet you can love.


EDIT: Just remembered another point, you're not married and you went in together. Some places are leary of adopting out animals to what they consider "insecure" homes. Just another item the grumpy guy may have noted and acted on. FYI.

[wade moore]

Just take this as a learning experience:

A) Never answer yes to ANY question that could give them reason to deny your application, this is generally common sense. You never offer more information than is needed to achieve the set goal.

B) The people who work at these places aren't there for you, they are there for the animals and to provide the best service and support they can for the animals, you as the potential adoptor are being judged as to your competance and potential as caregivers for those animals, expect the workers to be cold, and even rude at times with their questions/reactions.

the reason that both A and B exist is the useless assholes out there who get pets for their kids or family, discover they don't want to deal with them and dump them in shelters or on the street. If human beings could treat each other and all life better perhaps the shelters and adoption folks would be more pleasent to deal with.

I am sorry you had such a rough experience, I hope your GF feels better and you guys finally get a pet you can love.


EDIT: Just remembered another point, you're not married and you went in together. Some places are leary of adopting out animals to what they consider "insecure" homes. Just another item the grumpy guy may have noted and acted on. FYI.

Best. RendeR post. Ever.

[kingnebwsu]

I think the lesson to be learned is to not give out any information other than what is absolutely essential.

Just take this as a learning experience:

A) Never answer yes to ANY question that could give them reason to deny your application, this is generally common sense. You never offer more information than is needed to achieve the set goal.

EDIT: Just remembered another point, you're not married and you went in together. Some places are leary of adopting out animals to what they consider "insecure" homes. Just another item the grumpy guy may have noted and acted on. FYI.

Thanks for all the advice so far guys. I've learned from both the points made here...and it's something I learned right after this happened. Not just to only give the essential information, but I've sadly discovered that the best way to get through things is to tell lies so you get what you want. That's totally not the kind of person I am, but it seems like it's what I'll have to do when I'm in unfamiliar situations like this. I was all friendly and casual and didn't know it would be such a big f'in deal.

And yes, the insecure home thing probably best describes when the guy started giving off the weird vibe...when he found out that we were "living in sin."

3 more days til Friday and then my gf's mom will hopefully be able to get our cat that night. We'll see how it goes...

BTW, my buddy was talking with his coworkers about this and two of them had a similar experience with this same pet place. One was denied cuz he's allergic to dogs and the other one found a cat he liked and was ready to take him home...until the worker tried to push another cat on them and wouldn't let them take home the cat they really wanted.

It's weird too, cuz the mom of one of my friends works there. I think he's gonna send part of my rant/the E-mail I sent him to the place. We'll see what happens. I'll keep everyone posted.

Thanks for the advice everyone :)

[dawgfan]

To echo RendeR's post, in a situation like this your mistake was indicating that you have cat allergies. If you really think your allergies are minor and that it won't affect your decision of whether to keep the cat, then you shouldn't mark on those forms that you have cat allergies - it will only hurt your application. They are looking for reasons to deny giving you the pet (which is actually good policy on their part), so don't feed them any if you are certain you will be a good owner and won't give up the pet at a future date.

All that said, as Greg points out, you can't really know how your allergies will react to that particular cat once you are exposed to it full-time. There is a possibility that this particular cat's dander will affect your more than previous cats you've been exposed to.

It may also be true that being an unmarried couple might also have been a red flag - the shelter could be concerned about what happens if you break up.

Still, if you and the GF really want the cat, you may still have a shot at getting it by appealing to a supervisor there. If you have a history of cat ownership or growing up in a household with a cat(s), it probably wouldn't hurt to have a parent or sibling confirm that with this shelter as evidence that you'd make a good owner.

[Samdari]

You can have my two cats. I'll pay to fly them wherever you live.

[Butter]

I live in the Dayton area too, kingneb... which pet place is this we're talking about? We recently got a puppy from SICSA in Kettering, and it was a very quick and easy deal once we settled on one we liked.

[Desnudo]

Time to swing by the dog shelter.

[Raven Hawk]

My wife and I volunteer for a Siberian Husky rescue organization, and we do home visits to see if a person or family is a "good fit". We don't actually make the decision (we send a report to the board), but our input is most of the info the board uses to make it. Some of the questions we ask are designed to explore the possibility of the new owner(s) bringing the dog back for different reasons. There are other questions that are basically an automatic rejection for the applicant if they answer a certain way (such as if they plan to use an invisible fence for containment). Perhaps the allergy question is one of those for this particular shelter.

Is there a particular reason that the invisible fence question is an automatic "No?" The reason that I ask is that my wife and I just installed one for our two dogs. One of which was adopted many years ago. I'd like to think that when one passes away, that we'd adopt another. But with the invisible fence it doesn't sound like that would be possible . . . at least from your rescue organization. I'm just curious as to why that is the case.

[Ryche]

Is there a particular reason that the invisible fence question is an automatic "No?" The reason that I ask is that my wife and I just installed one for our two dogs. One of which was adopted many years ago. I'd like to think that when one passes away, that we'd adopt another. But with the invisible fence it doesn't sound like that would be possible . . . at least from your rescue organization. I'm just curious as to why that is the case.

My guess is because Huskies are notorious for being able to ignore invisible fences. One of the few breeds they just don't work on very well for whatever reason.

[Pyser]

My guess is because Huskies are notorious for being able to ignore invisible fences. One of the few breeds they just don't work on very well for whatever reason.

huskies need a tremendous amount of exercise. i had one, and she kept jumping our 6+ foot fence (!) even though we ran with her. they just need to run. id imagine thats part of the problems of the invisible fence.

[Franklinnoble]

I think any sufficiently hairy dog would have little trouble ignoring an electric collar.

[Pyser]

i could also see where some people would just find invisible fences cruel to the animal. might have nothing to do with the breed at all.

[Raven Hawk]

I was wondering if it was a Husky thing, I know that they are notorious runners. As far as the fence goes, I bought from a company that is partnered with the ASPCA, specifically for the fact that I wanted it to be humane.

To that end, however, we have a Samoyed - a very hairy beast akin to a husky. However, they're disposition isn't such that they will take off on you. They're much better listeners.

One other thing about invisible fences is that a lot of people leave their dogs out when they're not home, with just the invisible fence to keep them in. When people do that, there are plenty of things that can go wrong. The dog can get out or get stuck in a neighbors fence in the "shock zone." We only let the dogs run around the yard when we're home so that they don't have those opportunities.

[kingnebwsu]

I live in the Dayton area too, kingneb... which pet place is this we're talking about? We recently got a puppy from SICSA in Kettering, and it was a very quick and easy deal once we settled on one we liked.

Yep, it was SICSA. I may drop them an E-mail/call tomorrow. We'll see what happens. Hope we can get the cat on Friday afternoon :)

[Izulde]

Keep us updated.

[bulletsponge]

ok my 2c

i bet hes just jealous and bitter cause your getting 21 yo tail

[korme]

Why do they think you would take it back? When I get tired of my cats, I just drown them.

hahaha

cats are the shit.

[korme]

I live in the Dayton area too, kingneb... which pet place is this we're talking about? We recently got a puppy from SICSA in Kettering, and it was a very quick and easy deal once we settled on one we liked.

Word?

[Butter]

Word?

I would be all unified with you and kingneb... except you both like Wright State, and I went to UD, so you're like my mortal enemies or something. Or at least you would be if our teams ever played each other in basketball again.

[kingnebwsu]

UPDATE: WE GOT THE CAT TODAY!!!

My girlfriend's mom got the cat today and brought it over this afternoon. I bailed from work early and got home around 6 PM. We've been hanging with the cat for about an hour now. She's gray in color with black stripes (tabby maybe?), about 9 pounds, and 15 months old. Her name at the place was "Bon Bon" but we're trying to come up with something else...but no luck so far.

Overall she seems like a great cat who has been following us around a lot and will let us pick her up anytime. She's also been purring pretty much nonstop. She's been hiding under the couch sometimes, but it's easy to get her to come out from there or to have her jump on the bed/couch where we're sitting. We were just in the bedroom and the cat was on the floor. I scratched the bed once and she jumped right up. Seems like she could be a great cat for us.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts/concerns/input through this last week. Glad I made it through it and now we have the cat.

Have a great weekend!!! :D

[st.cronin]

fritz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dawgfan]

UPDATE: WE GOT THE CAT TODAY!!!
Congrats! Sounds like your cat is a good fit for you guys.

[Neuqua]

Congratulations man, hope you guys found the right cat for you.

I'm in the process of finding my own little puppy (you can read about it here (http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=50479)) and can understand the process can get complicated sometimes.

Best of luck!

[Craptacular]

Is there a particular reason that the invisible fence question is an automatic "No?" The reason that I ask is that my wife and I just installed one for our two dogs. One of which was adopted many years ago. I'd like to think that when one passes away, that we'd adopt another. But with the invisible fence it doesn't sound like that would be possible . . . at least from your rescue organization. I'm just curious as to why that is the case.

Sorry it took me a while to get back on the board ...

Others have given most of my answer. The soap box answer is that they are cruel, inhumane, and will often punish a dog for a good behavior, or at least one that is not bad. The shock collar doesn't know what's going on ... it just zaps them. I don't have the guts to do this, but my father-in-law once put one of the shock collars on (around his ankle?) and activated it, just to see what it felt like. He's a tough guy, but he still said it hurts like hell. A dog could get shocked when they calmly approach a person walking by (with or without a dog), and may associate the shock with the act of being curious and friendly with people and other animals. There is a couple in our neighborhood who leaves their lab outside ALL FRICKIN DAY, with just an invisible fence. It hangs around on the driveway, which slopes down to the road. We often find the dogs' toys on the road, but she can't go get them without being shocked. Also, what happens when the battery dies? Time to party ...

Specifically to huskies, they are a breed that invisible fences tend not to work on. They have a thick double coat, they have a high prey instinct, and are very athletic. Chances are that an invisible fence is not enough of a deterrent to keep them from leaving (chasing after a small animal or otherwise), but it might prevent them from coming back. Again, they'll get shocked when they try to do a good thing and come home.

Finally, as a rescue agency, we know that even ONE escape can mean the end of the line for the dogs. Huskies will often jog / run with their heads down, and are notorious for running out onto roads while being totally oblivious to large, fast-moving hunks of metal. An invisible fence is not a good option as a primary means of containment.

[gstelmack]

Also, what happens when the battery dies? Time to party ...

My wife has been charged by a dog that was protected by an "invisible fence". You need a physical barrier to keep a dog contained, not some shock collar contraption.

[JeeberD]

Her name at the place was "Bon Bon" but we're trying to come up with something else...but no luck so far.



Tofi is a wonderful name for a cat. I'm still upset that the little lady wouldn't let me use it on our last kitten...

[Mustang]

Well.. since you are allergic to cats just name is 'Sneezy' or 'Sniffles'

:D

[RendeR]

HERE SNIFLES SNIFFLES SNIFFLES......



thats just comical...

[kingnebwsu]

We decided to name her "Abby" after we went through a baby-book name with our neighbors ;) She kinda looks like a tabby, so I call her "Abby the Tabby"...

Right now "Abby" is under my bed and afraid to come out. I've been out of town for two days and she's kinda freaked out now. Hopefully she'll emerge soon enough :)

[Passacaglia]

We decided to name her "Abby" after we went through a baby-book name with our neighbors ;) She kinda looks like a tabby, so I call her "Abby the Tabby"...

Right now "Abby" is under my bed and afraid to come out. I've been out of town for two days and she's kinda freaked out now. Hopefully she'll emerge soon enough :)

I guess you didn't get very far in that book before getting bored, huh?