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View Full Version : (Stupid Lawsuit) Man sues Michael Jordan for resembling him


SirFozzie
07-07-2006, 01:02 PM
http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/kgw_070606_news_jordan_lookalike.314c6e50.html

Local man sues Jordan, Nike for resemblance

06:01 PM PDT on Thursday, July 6, 2006

By PAT DOORIS for kgw.com

A Northeast Portland man is suing basketball superstar Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for a combined $832 million. Allen Heckard filed the suit himself, June 29th in Washington County Court. Heckard says he’s been mistaken as Michael Jordan nearly every day over the past 15 years and he’s tired of it.

“I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me,” said Heckard.

Heckard is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering. He’s suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and making him one of the most recognized men in the world.

Heckard stands just over six feet tall. He is not six foot six like the real Michael Jordan. But Heckard says many people seem to miss that. He does share a bit of resemblance to the real Michael Jordan. Heckard has a shaved head, an earring in his left ear, and is in good shape from working out, and yes, playing basketball.

“Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan), said Heckard."

Most people would consider that a high compliment.

"Yes...don’t get me wrong it’s definitely a positive thing, because Michael, like I say is one of the best ball players that I've known to play the game. But then again, that's Michael and I'm me. So I want to be recognized as me just like Michael's being recognized as Michael."

Dressed in blue Air Jordan tennis shoes, Heckard might seem to be actually trying to look like Jordan but Heckard doesn’t see it that way.

"They're very comfortable shoes to play ball in,” said Heckard. “I play a lot of basketball and any other shoes I try to play in tend to hurt the bottom of my feet."

“I got a right to buy Nike or Adidas or what ever, so I chose the Nike because its a good shoe for me to play ball in,” he said.

Heckard agreed that not everyone thinks he’s a famous basketball player, but insisted a lot of people do mistake him for Jordan.

"I figure if I'm out in public and around a lot of people at least three or four times out of a crowd ...and like I was at the Blues Festival and you could see people they was pointing at me," he said.

Some might wonder how he decided to sue Knight and Jordan for $416-million each. "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that's what it all boils down to."

The question remains – is the occasional confusion with an admired celebrity worth $800 million.

“Well,” said Heckard, “You never can put a value on a person's life. You know you're taking my lifestyle away from me. So you know...we'll let the ball bounce like Michael does...where it’s supposed to fall."

John Galt
07-07-2006, 01:05 PM
[url]Allen Heckard filed the suit himself, June 29th in Washington County Court.

That fact reflects well upon the Portland legal community.

st.cronin
07-07-2006, 01:07 PM
That fact reflects well upon the Portland legal community.

I was going to say, if he actually had representation, that lawyer should honestly be disbarred.

KWhit
07-07-2006, 01:08 PM
You know what I'd do if I looked like Michael Jordan?


Two chicks at the same time.

Deattribution
07-07-2006, 01:25 PM
As if the case itself isn't stupid enough, the guy doesn't even remotely resemble Jordan.

mckerney
07-07-2006, 01:29 PM
“Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan), said Heckard."

:rolleyes:

Critch
07-07-2006, 01:29 PM
I feel for him. I have the same problem.

rkmsuf
07-07-2006, 01:34 PM
You know Allen Heckard came down to the beach one time.....took him to the hole baby! Air Allen Heckard to the hole can u believe that.

That's right Billy ho I saw the whole damn thing!

And he said yo! You should play Summer Pro League But I said No! Shit might mess up my game.

Fuck up his game and we can't have it Billy Ho!

st.cronin
07-07-2006, 01:36 PM
People always confuse me with Martin Short.

cthomer5000
07-07-2006, 01:38 PM
Jordan has really gotten away with this crap for far too long. It's about time someone did something about it.

st.cronin
07-07-2006, 01:38 PM
dola

ESPECIALLY when I'm at the gym, balling.

PackerFanatic
07-07-2006, 01:52 PM
Can't believe Jordan would have the AUDACITY to resemble this guy and practically ruin his life.

Christ, what a fucking idiot, lol...

PackerFanatic
07-07-2006, 01:52 PM
dola, sarcasm was in that last post, in case you missed it ;)

mckerney
07-07-2006, 01:56 PM
dola

ESPECIALLY when I'm at the gym, balling.

It gets really annoying for me when I'm accused of playing ball like Steve Nash. Just because I'm white, my hair is about the same length, and I refuse to play defense.

Mustang
07-07-2006, 02:21 PM
To bad Chappelle wasn't around... could use this guy as Charlie Jordan...

bulletsponge
07-07-2006, 02:26 PM
You know what I'd do if I looked like Michael Jordan?


Two chicks at the same time.

only 2? Magic Johnson look alikes get to do 8 at once

FrogMan
07-07-2006, 02:30 PM
As if the case itself isn't stupid enough, the guy doesn't even remotely resemble Jordan.

that was my first thought too. I was thinking, man if that guy looks like Jordan, then our very own SkyDog should get a earring and file a suit too. :)

FM

wade moore
07-07-2006, 02:31 PM
wow.

KevinNU7
07-07-2006, 02:33 PM
This guy is the suck

kcchief19
07-07-2006, 02:49 PM
You have to click the link to get the real humor of the story.

http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/L_IMAGE.10c152b4e38.93.88.fa.d0.3150f8e1.jpg

Bonegavel
07-07-2006, 02:55 PM
This article could be posted on the Onion and not need a single word changed.

saldana
07-07-2006, 04:58 PM
this is possibly the stupidest thing i have ever seen...how fast to you think the judge can dismiss this?

Icy
07-07-2006, 05:05 PM
The most stupid lawsuit i have ever heard about was from a guy in Spain a few years ago claiming that he compossed the song "Thriller" and M.Jackson stole it from him. You should have seen the guy in TV, the tipical small village guy who has never been out of it (do you can them rednecks?) playing something resembling to "Thriller" in a cheap plastic organ. At least he had his 10 minutes of TV glory.

saldana
07-07-2006, 05:23 PM
The most stupid lawsuit i have ever heard about was from a guy in Spain a few years ago claiming that he compossed the song "Thriller" and M.Jackson stole it from him. You should have seen the guy in TV, the tipical small village guy who has never been out of it (do you can them rednecks?) playing something resembling to "Thriller" in a cheap plastic organ. At least he had his 10 minutes of TV glory.

OK, THIS is possibly the stupidest thing i have ever heard.


any other contestants?

Greyroofoo
07-07-2006, 05:24 PM
I wonder if I could get him to go to a Bull's game and yell "BULLS SUCK"

pennywisesb
07-07-2006, 07:05 PM
Wow, I can't believe this. What an idiot.

KWhit
07-07-2006, 07:59 PM
You have to click the link to get the real humor of the story.

http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/L_IMAGE.10c152b4e38.93.88.fa.d0.3150f8e1.jpg


Louis Gossett Junior is suing Michael Jordan?!?!?!?!

Galaxy
07-07-2006, 09:05 PM
Looks like Motel a little bit.

panerd
07-07-2006, 09:37 PM
If I were Jordan I would file a suit claiming that every time he visits Portland he can't get into any clubs or meet any women because he keeps getting mistaken for Allen Heckard. Plus I would put million dollar lawyers on the case to keep finding loopholes that fuck with this guys life.

kcchief19
07-07-2006, 09:57 PM
Plus I would put million dollar lawyers on the case to keep finding loopholes that fuck with this guys life.
The first time I read this, I read "life" as "wife." I like that idea better.

Glengoyne
07-08-2006, 11:44 AM
That fact reflects well upon the Portland legal community.

Great comment.

Glengoyne
07-08-2006, 11:46 AM
Louis Gossett Junior is suing Michael Jordan?!?!?!?!

Exactly what I was thinking. Being mistaken for Lou Gossett Junior would be much more annoying, and a better cause of action to boot.

larrymcg421
07-08-2006, 12:23 PM
You know Allen Heckard came down to the beach one time.....took him to the hole baby! Air Allen Heckard to the hole can u believe that.

That's right Billy ho I saw the whole damn thing!

And he said yo! You should play Summer Pro League But I said No! Shit might mess up my game.

Fuck up his game and we can't have it Billy Ho!

Your mother's an astronaut.

Joe
07-08-2006, 12:41 PM
I have a similar case pending against SkyDog

sterlingice
07-09-2006, 03:47 PM
Louis Gossett Junior is suing Michael Jordan?!?!?!?!

Maybe Allen Heckard could have a future career in suing Louis Gossett Jr

SI