The worst song lyrics of all time

[WVUFAN]

hxxp://www.thephoenix.com/Article.aspx?id=14634&page=1 (http://www.thephoenix.com/Article.aspx?id=14634&page=1)

Could potentially be NFSW, as it has some bad language.

Not sure I agree with some of these choices, but for most of them ... it makes me afraid. :-)

[Klinglerware]

Genius.

[Draft Dodger]

Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..

PS, Hi Quik

[Karlifornia]

LOL. My co-workers and I have an inside joke involving the recital of Limp Bizkit's "Break Stuff"

[Draft Dodger]

some that should have made it:

Whitesnake, Spit it Out (PS, Hi Fritz)

I never knew what a kiss could mean
Until the first time I kissed you,
You took my love in the palm of your hand
An' showed me what a woman could do
Now I don't want sugar coated loving
Just silver tongue tenderness,

You gotta give me a certain satisfaction
The kind of love you seal with a kiss


An' spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it
Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it

another painful line later in the song:
'Cos I roll my dice with a heart of ice
An' make it clear to see

[Draft Dodger]

Khia - My Neck, My Back

All you ladies pop your pussy like this
Shake your body, don't stop, don't miss
All you ladies pop your pussy like this
Shake your body, don't stop, don't miss
Just do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now
Lick it good suck this pussy, just like you should
Right now, Lick it good
suck this pussy just like you should
My Neck, my back
Lick my pussy and my crack,

[Draft Dodger]

some from Kiss, Fits Like a Glove:

Ain't a cardinal sin, baby lemme in, girl I'm gonna treat you right
Well goodness sakes, my snake's alive and it's ready to bite
Hornet's nest, lay me down to rest, ooh I wanna shed my skin
I got the urge to merge, you're cold as ice, baby won't you lemme in
Night scenes, wet dreams, enough to make you drool
And fire, fire, fire for the fuel

and, of course, my favorite part (the music drops out for part of this for added emphasis):
Cause when I go through her, it's just like a hot knife through butter, ooh yeah
Baby, baby, guess you win the prize
Maybe, baby, where the sun never shines

[Pyser]

new dandy warhols single released on tuesday features this gem (presumably lifted from a 16 year olds notebook):

my friends and me
we smoke a lot
we smoka the weed
and then the pot
but we dont like seeds
sticks or stems
cuz me and my friends
we smoke a lot


the lead singer is FORTY.

[gottimd]

Vanilla Ice - Havin a Roni

Oh yea.

What it's like.
Havin' a Roni.
What it's like.
Havin' a Roni.

What it's like.
Havin' a Roni.
What it's like.
Havin' a Roni

Oh yea VIP in for effect

Actually, any Vanilla Ice song pretty much is the epitome of this thread.

[tanglewood]

Stand by REM

(chorus)
Stand in the place where you live
Now face North
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven't
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face West
Think about the place where you live
Wonder why you haven't before

If you are confused, check with the sun
Carry a compass to help you along
Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around, so

(repeat chorus)

Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around
If wishes were trees, the trees would be falling
Listen to reason
Season is calling

(repeat chorus)

If wishes were trees, the trees would be falling
Listen to reason
Reason is calling
Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around

So stand (stand)
Now face North
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven't
Now stand (stand)
Now face West
Think about the place where you live
Wonder why you haven't

(repeat chorus)

Stand in the place where you are (now face North)
Stand in the place where you are (now face West)
Your feet are going to be on the ground (stand in the place where you are)
Your head is there to move you around, so stand

Although does it count if they are deliberatley stupid?

[Fonzie]

Rock You Like a Hurricane- The Scorpions

It's early morning
The sun comes out
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud
My cat is purring
And scratches my skin
So what is wrong
With another sin
The bitch is hungry
She needs to tell
So give her inches
And feed her well
More days to come
New places to go
I've got to leave
It's time for a show

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane

My body is burning
It starts to shout
Desire is coming
It breaks out loud
Lust is in cages
Till storm breaks loose
Just have to make it
With someone I choose
The night is calling
I have to go
The wolf is hungry
He runs to show
He's licking his lips
He's ready to win
On the hunt tonight
For love at first sting

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane

[ThunderingHERD]

"Isn't it ironic?"

No. It isn't, actually.

[bronconick]

Mainly the bolded section.

Everybody, listen to me,
And return me, my ship.
I'm your captain, I'm your captain,
Although I'm feeling mighty sick.
I've been lost now, days uncounted,
And it's months since I've seen home.
Can you hear me, can you hear me,
Or am I all alone.
If you return me, to my home port,
I will kiss you mother earth.
Take me back now, take me back now,
To the port of my birth.
Am I in my cabin dreaming, or are you really scheming,
To take my ship away from me?
You'd better think about it, I just can't live without it.
So, please don't take my ship from me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah ...
I can feel the hand, of a stranger,
And it's tightening, around my throat.
Heaven help me, Heaven help me,
Take this stranger from my boat.
I'm your captain, I'm your captain,
Although I'm feeling mighty sick.
Everybody, listen to me,
And return me, my ship.
I'm your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm your captain, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
Ohhhh ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
Ohhhh ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
Ohhhh ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
Ohhhh ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
Ohhhh ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
Ohhhh ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
Ohhhh ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ...
I'm getting closer to my home ... I think that's roughly how many time it repeats.
</pre>

[bhlloy]

Pretty much anything by the Scorpions or Europe would qualify, of course in their defense English isn't either bands first language. Europe's lyrics make me cringe...

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'd better not see any of you mofos messin' with "My Humps" (the greatest song in the history of history).

[kcchief19]

Never Been to Me by Charlene

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me
....
Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
...
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me

-----------------------

There's gold in there for sure. What's really funny is that the song was original written for a male voice and inspired by ... get this ... the book/movie "Jaws." It was adapted for a female voice, but if you can understand any connection to "Jaws" you're smarter than me.

I like the fact that essentially this woman is a cheap whore nailing kings and a "preacherman," aborting children and living the high life. She's a baller, yo.