Shoulda Stuck With the Whizzinator...

[Ksyrup]

Woman pleads guilty in fake penis case

Associated Press
MCKEESPORT, Pa. - A woman pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in connection with a bizarre incident in February that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store.

Leslye Creighton, 41, of Wilkinsburg, entered the plea Wednesday, and authorities dropped the same charge against Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, who has agreed to help pay $425 to replace the store's microwave, police and the couple's defense attorney said.

Police in McKeesport, about 10 miles east of Pittsburgh, said the Feb. 23 incident began when Bostic filled a fake penis with his urine that they said Creighton planned to use to pass a drug test to get a job.

The two stopped at a GetGo! convenience store and, after wrapping the device in a paper towel, asked a store clerk to heat it up in a microwave, police said. Authorities said they believe Creighton wanted the device heated so the urine inside would be at body temperature during the drug test.

The clerk, however, believing the lifelike device to be a severed penis, called police.Defense attorney William Difenderfer said Creighton faces a maximum punishment of $300 and 90 days in jail when she is sentenced Nov. 15 by McKeesport District Judge Doug Reed.

Difenderfer called it "a humorous, but weird, case."

[Joe]

does the whizzinator keep it heated?

[Ksyrup]

Probably not by microwave.

[Greyroofoo]

so how exactly did you find this story?

[Ksyrup]

I usually check the local newspaper site(s) every morning and they all have roughly the same bizarre story section.

[stevew]

I guess it would have been too simple to just warm it up under hot water. Maybe they could have dunked it in a pot of hot coffee too.

[JeeberD]

does the whizzinator keep it heated?

Wasn't that one of it's selling points...that it kept it next to your body and was kept warm that way?

[Pumpy Tudors]

OK, I'm really confused. A woman was going to use a fake penis filled with a male's urine to pass a drug test? First of all, why did it have to be a fake penis? Would somebody be watching the urination to see that it was actually coming from a urethra? If so, how does she explain why she has a penis? If nobody would be watching, couldn't she just keep the urine in a baggie or a thermos or something?

And how would she explain the male urine? I would guess that there must be some differences between male and female urine, although I'm no urologist. I understand that the lab which administers the drug test probably isn't checking to see which sex the urine came from. Hell, they may not even know which sex the sample was supposed to come from. I don't know how the labs work, though, and I certainly wouldn't take that chance.

It's the fake penis that really gets me, though. Why would the urine have to be stored in a fake penis?

[Logan]

OK, I'm really confused. A woman was going to use a fake penis filled with a male's urine to pass a drug test? First of all, why did it have to be a fake penis? Would somebody be watching the urination to see that it was actually coming from a urethra? If so, how does she explain why she has a penis? If nobody would be watching, couldn't she just keep the urine in a baggie or a thermos or something?

And how would she explain the male urine? I would guess that there must be some differences between male and female urine, although I'm no urologist. I understand that the lab which administers the drug test probably isn't checking to see which sex the urine came from. Hell, they may not even know which sex the sample was supposed to come from. I don't know how the labs work, though, and I certainly wouldn't take that chance.

It's the fake penis that really gets me, though. Why would the urine have to be stored in a fake penis?

The reporter was probably laughing so hard as he wrote this that he got his facts mixed up.

[Celeval]

Given that they dropped charges against a 'Vincent', I'm betting she was "heating it up" for him.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Given that they dropped charges against a 'Vincent', I'm betting she was "heating it up" for him.
That would make sense, but the article tells it differently. See the bolded parts below.

Leslye Creighton, 41, of Wilkinsburg, entered the plea Wednesday, and authorities dropped the same charge against Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, who has agreed to help pay $425 to replace the store's microwave, police and the couple's defense attorney said.

Police in McKeesport, about 10 miles east of Pittsburgh, said the Feb. 23 incident began when Bostic filled a fake penis with his urine that they said Creighton planned to use to pass a drug test to get a job.

[Ksyrup]

Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, who has agreed to help pay $425 to replace the store's microwave.


This is the part of the story that I would like some additional information about. For starters:

1. What the hell happened to the microwave? Did the fake penis melt or explode, or were they just generally grossed out by the fact that they microwaved urine and want a new one. Since a good cleaning/disinfecting should take care of it, I'm guessing it is the former, and I want, no demand, more information! Did the penis fuck up the microwave?

2. I've seen plenty of convenience store microwaves, and they generally look inferior to the ones we all have in our homes. Even if they are bigger than normal, the typical one looks about 8-10 years old! No way the store needs $425 to buy a microwave that costs around $100. Someone's taking advantage of this situation.

[B & B]

You can imagine what comes next.

He fixes the cable?

[stevew]

This is the part of the story that I would like some additional information about. For starters:

1. What the hell happened to the microwave? Did the fake penis melt or explode, or were they just generally grossed out by the fact that they microwaved urine and want a new one. Since a good cleaning/disinfecting should take care of it, I'm guessing it is the former, and I want, no demand, more information! Did the penis fuck up the microwave?

2. I've seen plenty of convenience store microwaves, and they generally look inferior to the ones we all have in our homes. Even if they are bigger than normal, the typical one looks about 8-10 years old! No way the store needs $425 to buy a microwave that costs around $100. Someone's taking advantage of this situation.

2. Commercial microwaves are quite expensive. Getgo is a pretty new chain(i think) so chances are that it was a pretty new microwave

[LionsFan10]

OK, I'm really confused. A woman was going to use a fake penis filled with a male's urine to pass a drug test? First of all, why did it have to be a fake penis? Would somebody be watching the urination to see that it was actually coming from a urethra? If so, how does she explain why she has a penis? If nobody would be watching, couldn't she just keep the urine in a baggie or a thermos or something?

And how would she explain the male urine? I would guess that there must be some differences between male and female urine, although I'm no urologist. I understand that the lab which administers the drug test probably isn't checking to see which sex the urine came from. Hell, they may not even know which sex the sample was supposed to come from. I don't know how the labs work, though, and I certainly wouldn't take that chance.

It's the fake penis that really gets me, though. Why would the urine have to be stored in a fake penis?

I'm guessing this lady was on probation or trying to pass a drug test for a job. If that's the case, then yes, the lab knows gender of the urine they are getting. I know when I took a drug test for my current job, I had to write my name and other information on a tag that they stuck to the bag, that's after they checked the temprature of the urine of course.

They definitely would have been able to tell that A) it was male urine and b) she was a female. Not very bright on her part, but it doesn't surprise me.

[primelord]

Another issue that confused me was if the clerk thought it was a real severed penis, why did he go ahead and microwave it anyway???

[bulletsponge]

OK, I'm really confused. A woman was going to use a fake penis filled with a male's urine to pass a drug test? First of all, why did it have to be a fake penis? Would somebody be watching the urination to see that it was actually coming from a urethra? If so, how does she explain why she has a penis? If nobody would be watching, couldn't she just keep the urine in a baggie or a thermos or something?

And how would she explain the male urine? I would guess that there must be some differences between male and female urine, although I'm no urologist. I understand that the lab which administers the drug test probably isn't checking to see which sex the urine came from. Hell, they may not even know which sex the sample was supposed to come from. I don't know how the labs work, though, and I certainly wouldn't take that chance.

It's the fake penis that really gets me, though. Why would the urine have to be stored in a fake penis?


good questions, but your forgeting that these people arnt very bright to begin with.

[Crim]

Given that they dropped charges against a 'Vincent', I'm betting she was "heating it up" for him.

Bet I coulda thought of a better way for her to "heat up" a fake penis.