Hell Atlantic To Dress Up As Santa Tommorrow

[Anthony]

ugh. i was specifically asked by my manager to do it for tommorrow's Family Day. it's just for one hour though, so it's not the end of the world. i'm not even the whitest guy in america. gonna take pics with the the company's children who are coming by for the day.

i'm nervous - i practiced my Ho Ho Hos a bit today (and felt silly doing it), but i don't know how my Santa voice should be. for people who have kids - what does the Santa sound like? should i just talk in my normal voice (naturally on the deep side though i'm no Barry White)?

i don't know how i get myself in these situations. my manager said it was cause of my personality that i'd be perfect for this, and i figured it'd be good to earn some brownie points with my corp.

AAAARGH! why was i cursed with such a likeable personality and charm and overall great sense of humor! :mad:

[Anthony]

seriously though, i'm not looking for comedians here. you people aren't that funny. just give me some tips on how i should play this. i don't wanna half-ass it and the hopes and dreams of the kids are at stake here.

[cartman]

http://www.fromthebalcony.com/images/2003/bad_santa/bs01.jpg

[VPI97]

Bad Santa
Kudos. A more appropriate post has never been made.

[miked]

There's a thread a little down on this page with the perfect present for Christmas. I suggest you give it to the children so we can be rid of you for a bit :D

Seriously though, if you want to see how Santa should act/sound, check out You Tube or watch some TV. You want to get made of fun, post here.

[Anthony]

i'm not interested in how the Santa from "Rudolph" acts. i'm interested in how real life portrayals of him are. i don't even know what voice to use. they're gonna be sitting on my lap and taking pics with me. i assume i'll have to ask them what they want for christmas. i like having all eyez on me but this wasn't what i meant.

NOTE: and this brings me to the next question - do i ask them what they want for Christmas or should i not do that since some kids may be jewish? or do jewish people not even bother w/ santa since he's basically a christian icon? do i go with the generic "...and what gifts would you like?".

[cartman]

You want some advice? Man up, Nancy. You're gonna be Santa Claus to a bunch of kids. Grow a sack (not one filled with toys) and deal with it like a man. I'm sure the kids would be overwhelmed by a Santa imagined in the minds of text sim players.

[JPhillips]

Try this website

www.google.com

[Anthony]

Try this website

www.google.com


well, duh.

if we all consulted google before posting here that would leave about 2 posts per day. point was to make light of the situation and to get some tidbits of info. go post in a werewolf thread.

you're useless.

[Atocep]

Be yourself, throw out lots of Ho Ho ho's and Merry Christmas' and you'll be fine. I don't think kids really have a perception of how Santa is supposed to act. They just expect him to be jolly, fat, and with a beard. Its more about the look than how you act.

[Fonzie]

My advice is based on the fairly standard script:

Speak slowly and softly - do your best to appear gentle. Give the kids a kind look (smile - and when you need to fake-smile be sure to crinkle up the corners of your eyes a bit) when they approach. If the kid appears skittish about sitting on your lap ask him/her to sit next to you on the chair. I'd recommend starting off by asking them if they've been good this year (and when he/she says "yes" be sure to mention that you had his/her name on your "good" list). Then ask them if there's anything they'd like for Christmas. Maybe close by asking them for a favor - leave out some cookies and carrots for you and your reindeer on Christmas eve. Being Santa is hungry work!

[Airhog]

You want some advice? Man up, Nancy. You're gonna be Santa Claus to a bunch of kids. Grow a sack (not one filled with toys) and deal with it like a man. I'm sure the kids would be overwhelmed by a Santa imagined in the minds of text sim players.

You almost nailed it, cept you shoulda used cowboy up

[Anthony]

atocep/fonzie: you are two useful people. when i take over the world i will find a place for the both of you. i totally forgot to mention something about cookies so i appreciate the info.

[Joe]

find out which of the kids is your bosses and be extra nice

[Groundhog]

The parents have no idea what kind of man is going to have their children on his lap. :D

[SackAttack]

or do jewish people not even bother w/ santa since he's basically a christian icon?

Santa is more of a secular Christmas tradition and has nothing specifically to do with Christianity. Some Christian families tip a cap to the tradition, some don't, but that doesn't make Santa inherently a Christian tradition.

As to whether or not Jewish people bother with him, that depends, I'd imagine, on the state of their family. I grew up with a number of acquaintances who were "half-Jewish." One parent was either Christian or secular, and the other was Jewish. If you've got a mixed family, there's probably at least as much lip service being paid to Christmas as an event (Christian or otherwise) as there is to Chanukah.

I don't know if I'd worry too much about whether the kids are Jewish, in other words. If they're Jewish and their parents are letting them sit on Santa's lap, they're either not too concerned about it ("let the kids have fun"), or it's a mixed family to begin with.

[Anthony]

cool, appreciate the info.

i did some searching with that google doohicky and found a site (http://planetchristmas.com/SantaSuggestions.htm) that described how to act like a good Santa. this is so not my personality to do stuff like this, but it's for the kids.

i also heard some of the adults will sit on my lap and take a pic with me. there are some at my company who'd i'd love to have sit on my face, let alone my lap. then there is one who looks like she ate a rhinocerous. i hope she isn't in the lap-sitting mood tomorrow.

i seriously don't know how i find myself in these situations. i have too much charisma. still, i appreciate the 411 from the 2 or 3 guys here who had some insight re: tomorrow's festivities.

[JonInMiddleGA]

FWIW, the Santa's we've seen through the past 7 years are typically older, heavy on the whole "twinkle in the eye" bit, quiet, almost reserved. Although I hadn't really given it much thought until considering your question, something that came to mind tonight is that they tend to focus their attention entirely on the child instead of playing to the parents or the onlookers (except for cooperating with whatever photo ops come at the end of the visit). In other words, remembering to make the child the center of Santa's attention, really listening & communicating with the child, instead of playing to the entire audience.

Also, depending on the age range of the kids, it would probably be a good idea to be prepared for at least 1 or 2 to have a terror-induced meltdown when they get near you. Be prepared to handly those calmly & patiently if you want to get the brownie points. Don't get freaked by the kid being freaked, and whatever you do, don't hit the "Eject" button too quickly. Try to let the parent of the shrieking child dictate how quickly the kid goes away. Handling someone else's hysterical child isn't much fun, but it seems to me that it would go a long way toward being a good Santa.

Good luck HA ... and far far better you than me.

[AZSpeechCoach]

Just don't think about sandwiches. No sandwiches on your lap.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Bring a change of pants.

[Galaxy]

So, will you have midget elfs?

[Glengoyne]

So, will you have midget elfs?


This was a nice post. Subtle and on the mark.

[Vegas Vic]

ugh. i was specifically asked by my manager to do it for tommorrow's Family Day.

So Wednesday, we can ask the question, "Why did Hell Atlantic slap that kid?"

[sterlingice]

Definitely tell us how things go :)

SI

[Ksyrup]

OK, this is twice I've called you on the third person reference to yourself. It is no longer an accident, Jimmy.

[Anthony]

i hope this is the quickest hour in my life.

from what i was told, the group will be comprised of all small kids (the ones who actually believe in Santa) and a handful or two of people who work in the company (hopefully all females....*shudder*) who want to take a pic w/ Santa. so i supposedly won't have to deal with the tweeners, you know, the ones who try to act like they're too good for Santa.

i like how i originally volunteered to read a story or two for the kids and that escalated into "you know, you got a great personality - i'd love it if you could be Santa for Family Day".

Jon: "better you than me" is my motto, i find it appropriate someone else gets to say it to me now that i find myself in this scenario.

the only way you could say i would make a good Santa is if height and personality were the only requirements. i don't look as good in my g-string as i used to, but portly - no. i'm only 29, i don't have that eye crinkle thing when i smile. and i won't ever be confused with being Whitey Whiterson, Mayor of Whitesville. my skin is roughly the same year-long tannish color of Vin Diesel, maybe a shade or two lighter.

[KWhit]

http://www.cycleconnections.com/images/articles/Bad%20Santa-300.JPG

[rkmsuf]

how the fuck can you not know how to act like Santa Claus?

[Glengoyne]

...
i seriously don't know how i find myself in these situations. i have too much charisma.....

That isn't charisma. It's called obnoxious.

[Maple Leafs]

I am the fattest person at my job
Good to know.

[Danny]

Will you put me over your knee and show me what a bad boy I have been???

[Anthony]

what was supposed to be only 1 hour turned into a morning session and an afternoon session. no hot chicks sat on my lap, but i did get to take a few pics with some tasty MILFs. two little kids didn't want to leave my side, that was cute. one of those aforementioned cute kids was silenty flatulating on my lap, as did some other baby. YAY! overall it was uneventful, which is how i preferred it to be. since we're dealing with the ultra conservative PC nature of corporate America - no news is good news.

afterwards my manager came over and said i did a fantastic job, and that it was good exposure to the higher ups and would go a long way to getting noticed. in the immortal words of George Bush - mission accomplished.

[Galaxy]

HA,
What's your job position?

[Anthony]

HA,
What's your job position?

Registered Rep/Client Specialist.