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View Full Version : Actual replies on the "father's details" section of welfare forms


cartman
12-22-2006, 03:21 PM
Some of these are classic.

hxxp://free.financialmail.co.za/06/1222/regulars/didyh.htm

* "I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps."

* "I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks."

* "I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced."

* "I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again."

* "I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that would blow his cover and would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise."

* "I do not know who is the father of my child as all blacks look the same to me."

* "Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time... well, I don't have a clue."

* "From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom."

* "So much about that night is a blur. The only thing I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised."

* "I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby. After all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart."

Greyroofoo
12-22-2006, 07:04 PM
What's the reason for welfare again?

kcchief19
12-22-2006, 07:41 PM
I'm certain they are fake, but amusing.

Buccaneer
12-22-2006, 07:42 PM
I would check snopes but I dare not go there again.

cartman
12-22-2006, 11:00 PM
I would check snopes but I dare not go there again.

I did check Snopes. They don't have these exact quotes, but have others along the lines. There is their assessment:

hxxp://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/welfare.asp

Real life? Maybe. But a more likely conclusion to draw would be that most of these entries are more lore than truth.