Due date less than a week away.......

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Anybody got any advice on what are good things to know about in advance? Delivery info? Diaper changing info? Feeding info?

This is my first baby. I've read a couple of books, but I want to see if there's something the books don't tell you.

[FrogMan]

babies don't come with an instruction manual, but you'll learn on the job, and fast, believe me. :)

Best of luck with the delivery.

Oh, and sleep while you can, like this week... ;)

FM

[Telle]

Is she planning on a natural delivery or medicated? And breast or bottle feeding?

And remember that for most first-time moms delivery doesn't happen until about a week after the "due date".. and labor can last many many hours or even days.

[KevinNU7]

SLEEP NOW!

[Ksyrup]

Is your wife breast-feeding? We found that in both instances, my wife couldn't go more than a couple of months so we switched to formula pretty quickly. So be prepared for that possibility.

As far as sleeping through the night, you should know in about 2 months what you're in for. We were lucky with our first one, she started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. The second was even easier to put to sleep, except we had to get through 3 months of colic first. If you are unfortunate in that regard, there's really nothing anyone can do or say to prepare you or help you get through that nightmare. It was nothing but screaming from 7pm to 1am for 3 solid months, and then it just stopped one night and never happened again. On a positive note, I got to see the end of every west coast baseball game for those 3 months...

With diaper changing, not much you need to know other than the usual. A couple of things to note:

1. The first couple of weeks, the "discharge" is going to look really, really bad, like tar. This is normal.

2. If you have a girl, be sure to wipe down toward the butt and not up.

3. Nothing will prepare you for the first bout of diarrhea. Just pray it happens with the diaper on, and not in an exorcist-looking spewfest like we had with our 2nd daughter.

If you like to eat out, do it often during the first few months. They sleep so often that you'll actually have an enjoyable time. It's when they get to about 6-9 months that the experience becomes more of a chore than it's worth sometimes.

And above all else, enjoy the experience. It is certainly moving when it happens and rewarding from that day on.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Is she planning on a natural delivery or medicated? And breast or bottle feeding?

And remember that for most first-time moms delivery doesn't happen until about a week after the "due date".. and labor can last many many hours or even days.

She'll be medicated for the delivery. It's only supposed to be about 6 1/2 pounds, so probably will end up natural childbirth. Going to go with breast feeding as my wife works at home.

Yeah, the due date is February 8th, but I fear we may not have the baby until after that. That presents a quite unfortunate problem, as the MU/KU basketball game in Columbia is February 10th. My sister and brother-in-law are rooting for a late delivery so they can use the tickets instead of me. :(

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

As far as sleeping through the night, you should know in about 2 months what you're in for. We were lucky with our first one, she started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. The second was even easier to put to sleep, except we had to get through 3 months of colic first. If you are unfortunate in that regard, there's really nothing anyone can do or say to prepare you or help you get through that nightmare. It was nothing but screaming from 7pm to 1am for 3 solid months, and then it just stopped one night and never happened again. On a positive note, I got to see the end of every west coast baseball game for those 3 months...

Thanks for the diaper info.

Regarding the sleeping.....does the baby just want to wake up less often as time progresses? I'm assuming it's not a situation where you wake up to feed the baby twice a night and then suddenly she doesn't wake up at all.

[MizzouRah]

SLEEP NOW!

Ditto, go into a coma until the baby arrives.

[Butter]

Regarding the sleeping.....does the baby just want to wake up less often as time progresses? I'm assuming it's not a situation where you wake up to feed the baby twice a night and then suddenly she doesn't wake up at all.

It can eat more at feedings, so it stays hungrier less and needs to wake up less... it's definitely on a case by case basis. My 3 day old slept through the night once, then didn't do it again for 3 months. My wife and I freaked out because our oldest boy never slept through the night. The baby will definitely let you know when it's hungry or needy. :)

Good luck, man!

[cschex]

We're two months into it (she's our first) and I agree with most everything that's been said upthread. Sleep whenever you can. Get him/her used to your touch early so that picking them up and holding them can calm them down (hopefully). One thing I would advise is, if your wife is breast-feeding, buy or rent an electric breast pump. That allows you to not only freeze milk for later but, more importantly, allows you to take a feeding or two a day so your wife can sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. It balances out the sleeping, we've found. Other than that, just have your camera ready. You won't believe how quickly they grow.

[AgustusM]

SLEEP NOW!

funny - when I first saw the thread this was exactly what I was thinking

[KevinNU7]

She'll be medicated for the delivery. It's only supposed to be about 6 1/2 pounds, so probably will end up natural childbirth. Going to go with breast feeding as my wife works at home.

Yeah, the due date is February 8th, but I fear we may not have the baby until after that. That presents a quite unfortunate problem, as the MU/KU basketball game in Columbia is February 10th. My sister and brother-in-law are rooting for a late delivery so they can use the tickets instead of me. :(
Dude if the baby was born today you still wouldn't be going to that game.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Dude if the baby was born today you still wouldn't be going to that game.

Grandparents offered to hang out and help if the baby was born before it. At this point, I'm resigned to the fact that my sister is going to be quite happy in the very near future. I'll let the baby cause me to miss this one, but she better schedule dance recitals in the future on one of the 364 days that the MU/KU game doesn't occur! :)

[Ksyrup]

It can eat more at feedings, so it stays hungrier less and needs to wake up less... it's definitely on a case by case basis. My 3 day old slept through the night once, then didn't do it again for 3 months. My wife and I freaked out because our oldest boy never slept through the night. The baby will definitely let you know when it's hungry or needy. :)

Good luck, man!

Yeah, our first one got big quickly, so we assume she was eating enough early on to sleep through the night. And once the colic was over with our second one, she was so easy to put to sleep I couldn't believe it. We'd take her into her room, hold her for about a minute, and she'd lean toward her crib to tell us she wanted to go to sleep, and that was it. OTOH, I have friends with 7 year olds who still don't sleep through the night on a consistent basis, so you never know.

[Maple Leafs]

Breastfeeding is a royal pain in the ass. The books say that it's easy once you get the hang of it, but that's a lie to keep from scaring people off. I would go into it with the expectation that it will be a nightmare, and then count yourself lucky if it's not.

Some women/babies take to it very easily. Others have a tougher time, especially if you can't try right away for any reason (e.g. baby isn't with you for the first few hours/days). If you end up in that category, then you'll have many different nurses/consultants giving you conflicting and/or unhelpful advice. They mean well and their hearts are in the right place, but many of them have no concept of how to teach (as opposed to nag). Once you finally figure out how to decipher your nurses instructions enough to make her happy, her shift will end and a new nurse will come in and tell you you're doing everything wrong. There may come a time when your wife may want to quit and just go to bottles, at which point you'll learn that the pro-breastfeeding lobby makes the anti-smokers seem calm and rational.

All that said... it is the better option and you should do everything you can to support your wife in that decision. Just don't expect it to be easy. And most important of all, don't let anyone make her feel like a bad mom if/when she struggles with it.

[Ksyrup]

Oh, and don't get into the habit of letting the baby sleep with you in your bed. It will be tempting especially because your wife will be breast feeding, but don't do it. You will have issues getting him/her to sleep in their own bed. We bought a rocking chair that stayed in the baby's room for late-night feedings.

[Ksyrup]

ML is right on. My wife lasted 4 months, I think, with the first one, and then about a month with the second. She couldn't produce enough consistently enough, or it was a pain and painful to constantly milk to fill bottles for late-night, etc. It just wasn't worth my wife's pain and the hassle to keep it up, so we stopped and went with formula.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

OTOH, I have friends with 7 year olds who still don't sleep through the night on a consistent basis, so you never know.

I've learned quite a bit through a family friend regarding child-rearing. She said that if a child isn't regularly sleeping through the night after one year, either that child has a major medical problem or the parents aren't doing their job. Judging from some of the 'nanny' shows that I've watched as well, I'm already guessing that I have more common sense than 50% of the parents in the U.S. I love how those people complain that their kids don't go to sleep and then you watch them and realize that the parents are their own worst enemies.

But I digress.......back to giving me baby info.

[DolphinFan1]

We were pretty lucky with Zachary. He is 3 years old now. He slept through the night since day one. Seriously. I think he has woken up a total of 5 or 6 times during the night in 3 years. But keep in mind that that doesn't happen most of the time. So as someone else said......SLEEP NOW

The other thing is I was in the delivery room when my son was born. I can't even begin to explain the feeling when he was born and I was there to see it. Just try to cherish every moment. I wouldn't trade time with my son for anything. He's great.

[Ksyrup]

Oh yeah, you gotta be there for the delivery. Not so much the after-birth "delivery" though. And you should have the option of cutting the chord, too.

My experience was like I thought it would be - wife in pain, getting upset over little things (she screamed at me to turn off the classical music the nurse had put on for her), the nails-through-the-hand vice grip, etc. But the actual moment was overwhelming.

Also, realize that the "delivery" could last upwards of 15-25 hours, and most of it is likely to take place at your house. I t hink with our first one, we went 17 hours, but she started at 10:30 pm and we didn't go to the hospital until 9 am. THe baby was born at 3:30 pm that afternoon. I learned there's not an awful lot on TV at 4 am.

[FrogMan]

Oh yeah, you gotta be there for the delivery. Not so much the after-birth "delivery" though. And you should have the option of cutting the chord, too.

My experience was like I thought it would be - wife in pain, getting upset over little things (she screamed at me to turn off the classical music the nurse had put on for her), the nails-through-the-hand vice grip, etc. But the actual moment was overwhelming.


couldn't agree more, you gotta be there. I still get goosebumps remembering the moment either of my sons came out and the first cry they let out. Magical times, simply magical. I'll carry these images in my head to my death, that I'm certain...

FM

[JonInMiddleGA]

One of the items highest on my "I wish someone had told me" list is something that I rarely hear anybody bring up: sleep apnea in newborns

I'm not talking about the sometimes serious condition that is most common in premature infants, but rather the fact that "short pauses in breathing are normal for babies". (http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/info/newborn/diagnose/infant-apnea.htm)

Scared the bejeezus out of us when we noticed it on one of the first nights home with Will. We took turns staying awake all night just watching to make sure that when he had that little 3-4 second hitch in his breathing rhythm that he always started back up again. One panicky call to the pediatrician first thing the next morning & we weren't so freaked out by it, but that was a terrifying night that wouldn't have been if anybody had ever bothered to mention this little detail.

One of my other biggest pieces of advice is that, while learning as much as you can from a variety of sources is helpful ... but your instincts are actually better than what you're probably going to give them credit for. Doing stuff "by the book" is an easy trap to fall into but ultimately you're going to find out that you're actually going to "just know" more things than you would have imagined.

[Maple Leafs]

Good point Jon...

Actually, there are a surprising number of things that are scary and yet "completely normal", including:

- Spit up, even a lot of it (and it's not as much as it looks like)

- Cold hands or feet (circulation isn't quite right yet, check the back of the neck instead)

- Eyes crusted shut -- their tear ducts can get blocked. Rinse the eye with a warm wet cloth and then rub the inner corner of each eye to unblock the duct.

- Baby having to struggle and strain to poop -- they don't know which muscles to use so it may take quite a bit of work and frustration for them to "work it out". As long as they're getting it out eventually and it looks normal, not really a concern (but funny as hell to watch)

- Sneezing -- it doesn't mean they have a cold. It's more likely they're just working out some excess fluid from their lungs.

Of course, in all cases trust your instincts and keep an eye out for more serious symptoms such as fever or lack of dirty diapers.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Also, realize that the "delivery" could last upwards of 15-25 hours, and most of it is likely to take place at your house. I t hink with our first one, we went 17 hours, but she started at 10:30 pm and we didn't go to the hospital until 9 am. THe baby was born at 3:30 pm that afternoon. I learned there's not an awful lot on TV at 4 am.

So at what point do you decide to go into the hospital? The last think I need is a baby tumbling onto the floorboard of the car as we head to the hospital!

[JAG]

One of my other biggest pieces of advice is that, while learning as much as you can from a variety of sources is helpful ... but your instincts are actually better than what you're probably going to give them credit for. Doing stuff "by the book" is an easy trap to fall into but ultimately you're going to find out that you're actually going to "just know" more things than you would have imagined.

Jon took the words right out of my mouth. I did a decent bit of reading and research prior to our daughter being born two months ago and honestly, after a short amount of time, I found out how little anything I read had to do with her. It's a cliche, but every kid really is unique. If you have a nagging thought that something doesn't seem right, you are probably correct (or a hyper-cautious new parent, but that's ok).

The people who are telling you to get some sleep are absolutely correct. Try to sleep as much as you can now so you can be rested for when labor comes. My wife went into labor at 6:00pm and didn't give birth until the following day at 10:50pm, during which time I slept about a total of 1 hour.

It's hard to give a lot of helpful advice about feeding / diaper changing because I don't know how much I've learned from my daughter will be applicable to you. For diaper changing, after you've finished cleaning the baby up, before you put the new diaper on, be sure s/he's actually finished and be quick with the switcheroo of old to new. You'll learn that one fast. :) For feedings, they can be a bit tricky. Breastmilk doesn't always come in right away (it didn't for my wife) and all formulae are not created equal. If you end up using some and the baby seems unusually upset, try changing to a different one. For breastfeeding, if your wife is anything like mine, your wife may get quite sore from it depending on how the baby acts (some babies like to clamp down hard).

Not sure what else to add. Good luck, enjoy the good parts, persevere through the tough parts.

[Maple Leafs]

So at what point do you decide to go into the hospital? The last think I need is a baby tumbling onto the floorboard of the car as we head to the hospital!
The rule of thumb they gave us was 5-1-1. The contractions are five minutes apart, they last for about a minute each, and they've been like that for an hour.

The chances of the baby popping out quickly with a first pregnancy is virtually zero. Of course, you'll probably still end up going in early "just in case". Expect to be sent home the first time, most people are.

In our case, my wife's contractions started at 7:30 am on a Monday and lasted all day. We finally went to the hospital at 2:00 am Tuesday, and baby was born at 6:00 pm.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Good point Jon...

Actually, there are a surprising number of things that are scary and yet "completely normal", including:

- Spit up, even a lot of it (and it's not as much as it looks like)

- Cold hands or feet (circulation isn't quite right yet, check the back of the neck instead)

- Eyes crusted shut -- their tear ducts can get blocked. Rinse the eye with a warm wet cloth and then rub the inner corner of each eye to unblock the duct.

- Baby having to struggle and strain to poop -- they don't know which muscles to use so it may take quite a bit of work and frustration for them to "work it out". As long as they're getting it out eventually and it looks normal, not really a concern (but funny as hell to watch)

- Sneezing -- it doesn't mean they have a cold. It's more likely they're just working out some excess fluid from their lungs.

Of course, in all cases trust your instincts and keep an eye out for more serious symptoms such as fever or lack of dirty diapers.

Thankfully, my wife is a doctor and has at least some knowledge from her ObGyn and Pediatric residencies. So we should be generally covered as far as major illness goes, but we know various types of doctors personally if problems do come up. It's one of the perks of having to deal with 12(!) years of school and residency.

[Telle]

I'll be perfectly honest.. breastfeeding isn't as easy as many make it out to be, especially in the beginning. That said, I successfully breastfed my daughter until about 13 months old when my milk dried up because I was pregnant again.. and my son is going strong at now six months of age. Neither one of them ever had a drop of formula.

Now, does she REALLY want to breastfeed? Is it a big goal for her? Or is it just something that she'd like to try? If it's the former, then your job is to be supportive to help her through those rough times when she's exhausted and sore and just wants to give it up and give the kid a dang bottle. You need to be encouraging and keep telling her that it'll get better soon. If it's the latter however, your job is to be supportive in letting her know that she's not a failure when she hits the point where she's ready to give it up.

The biggest thing to help with the breastfeeding is to build a support network now. Has she been to a La Leche League meeting? At the very least she should look up the number of her local La Leche League leader and give her a call and talk about what kind of support they can provide her. At the very least, most will give phone support.. and many are willing to do so 24/7. It's probably also a good idea to find a lactation consultant now.. preferably one that will come to her at home. Another idea is to hire a postpartum doula who specializes in lactation support. The bottom line is that your wife needs to have somebody she can call at 3am on a Tuesday when she's exhausted and the baby's screaming and she needs help. Also having a couple of home-visits set up ahead of time can go a long way to giving her confidence.. when my postpartum doula would come for visits she would pretty much just observe and give me a few tips and reassure me that I was doing everything right, and you have no idea how helpful that can be.

I found that with my first child I was pretty paranoid about my milk supply and whether or not the baby was getting enough. Don't listen to anybody who tells her to pump to see how much milk she gets.. most women do NOT respond to a pump the same way they do to their baby so it's not a valid test. Instead, watch the number of wet and poopy diapers (I don't recall the number you need to hit daily at the beginning, but you should be able to find that information). Also your pediatrician will be doing weight checks, and so long as the baby is growing fine then there's no worries.

If your wife is planning on being a stay at home mom, then there's not really a need to go for a high-end double electric pump. However, she should get a pump.. and I'd recommend the Avent manual pump. She should start pumping between feedings around 3-4 weeks, and then introduce the bottle around 4-6 weeks and continue to give at least one bottle a week thereafter.. this will ensure that the baby will be used to the bottle for those time when she wants to go out without the baby.

I know some people recommended against having the baby in the bed, but I found that it works great with breastfeeding. I could latch my baby on and fall back asleep and baby would nod off when done eating. This way I wasn't losing much sleep. And we didn't have any trouble transitioning my daughter to the crib, and later her own room. At the very least you're going to want to have a bassinet set up next to your bed to make things easier on your wife.

She should get herself a tube of Lansinoh lanolin and apply it to her nipples after every nursing session for the first few weeks. It'll help keep her from getting sore. And there's no need to wash it off before feeding. Also if she finds that her nipples are getting really sensitive, she should try Soothies nursing pads. They're a gel-like substance and adhere right to the nipple. They were a virtual god-send when I was first nursing my daughter and got rather sore after a couple of bad latches. They are expensive, but well worth it in my opinion.

Lastly, what kind of support does your wife have lined up for the first few weeks? Are you going to take a week or two off from work to stay home with her and the baby? Is her mother or anyone going to stay with you guys for a couple of weeks after that? She's going to be getting very little sleep, and could really use someone to hand the baby off to for a bit during the day so that she can rest.. and someone who will help with the basic day-to-day household chores.

[JAG]

So at what point do you decide to go into the hospital? The last think I need is a baby tumbling onto the floorboard of the car as we head to the hospital!

For a new parent, the first stage of labor usually lasts quite a while I believe. You should go to the hospital if she starts having contractions that are a regular length of time apart (every 5 minutes or closer). Of course, I say this though my wife went through the first night of labor without having regular amounts of time between contractions, went to the hospital after 12 hours of it, and had to go through another 16 hours of labor there.

Has your wife had an ob/gyn appointment recently and did they say if she was dilated at all, or does she have one coming up?

[QuikSand]

Breastfeeding is a royal pain in the ass. The books say that it's easy once you get the hang of it, but that's a lie to keep from scaring people off. I would go into it with the expectation that it will be a nightmare, and then count yourself lucky if it's not.

Some women/babies take to it very easily. Others have a tougher time, especially if you can't try right away for any reason (e.g. baby isn't with you for the first few hours/days). If you end up in that category, then you'll have many different nurses/consultants giving you conflicting and/or unhelpful advice. They mean well and their hearts are in the right place, but many of them have no concept of how to teach (as opposed to nag). Once you finally figure out how to decipher your nurses instructions enough to make her happy, her shift will end and a new nurse will come in and tell you you're doing everything wrong. There may come a time when your wife may want to quit and just go to bottles, at which point you'll learn that the pro-breastfeeding lobby makes the anti-smokers seem calm and rational.

All that said... it is the better option and you should do everything you can to support your wife in that decision. Just don't expect it to be easy. And most important of all, don't let anyone make her feel like a bad mom if/when she struggles with it.

Quoted for exceptional truthiness.

Plenty of good advice in this thread, really.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Thanks for all the info, Telle.

I think she's more of the situation where she wants to breast feed as long as it goes well and she doesn't have any major problems. I would expect that she would switch over at some point just due to convinience.

I'm taking 3 weeks off and there are grandparents about 5 miles away, so plenty of support available. To be honest, I'm the one who does the house chores for the most part, so we don't have to switch much up there.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

For a new parent, the first stage of labor usually lasts quite a while I believe. You should go to the hospital if she starts having contractions that are a regular length of time apart (every 5 minutes or closer). Of course, I say this though my wife went through the first night of labor without having regular amounts of time between contractions, went to the hospital after 12 hours of it, and had to go through another 16 hours of labor there.

Has your wife had an ob/gyn appointment recently and did they say if she was dilated at all, or does she have one coming up?

No dilation last Thursday. Think she has another appointment this Thursday.

[FrogMan]

- Spit up, even a lot of it (and it's not as much as it looks like)



if you mean regurgitating, yes, it can be a bit scary. Our second did this up until he was almost 9 months old and even if he was our second child, it freaked us out a bit at first since his older brother never did that. I remember playing with our oldest son just mintues after he'd been fed and I mean playing with energy, without having him spit out one drop while the youngest had a "do not shake" sign around his neck for a good hour after being fed. We did call the pedatrician to make sure it wasn't very wrong and has long as it's not vomitting with force, he said it was not that big a deal.

FM

[Logan]

I don't have any kids, but my sister and bro-in-law had their first baby about a year and a half ago, and my brother and his wife had a baby in December, so I've gotten some good experience observing first time parents.

They say you'll know what to do as soon as you become a parent, and in those experiences I can say that's definitely true. My sister is a great person and is very smart when it came to school and now in her career, but I worried if she would be able to do all those natural parenting things that are required of a great mom. And I am so happy to say that I was wrong for doubting her, as she's proven to be so much more than a great mom and my niece is definitely lucky to have her (and her dad too of course). So yes, you'll be fine too.

Again, I haven't been through this personally...but if you're the type of person who normally sleeps a lot, I would start to cut back on the hours so that you're more prepared for functioning on less sleep when you have a real responsibility.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

I don't have any kids, but my sister and bro-in-law had their first baby about a year and a half ago, and my brother and his wife had a baby in December, so I've gotten some good experience observing first time parents.

They say you'll know what to do as soon as you become a parent, and in those experiences I can say that's definitely true. My sister is a great person and is very smart when it came to school and now in her career, but I worried if she would be able to do all those natural parenting things that are required of a great mom. And I am so happy to say that I was wrong for doubting her, as she's proven to be so much more than a great mom and my niece is definitely lucky to have her (and her dad too of course). So yes, you'll be fine too.

Again, I haven't been through this personally...but if you're the type of person who normally sleeps a lot, I would start to cut back on the hours so that you're more prepared for functioning on less sleep when you have a real responsibility.

I usually only sleep 5 1/2 hours or so a night, so I don't need a ton of sleep. My wife also works nights at home, so we should be able to take care of the baby in shifts, which should allow for a bit more sleep than most newborn parents, though I'm still not counting on a full night too soon.

[Warhammer]

If its a boy, keep things covered at all times, cover with the new diaper prior to removing the old diaper. But, watching them pee and then shoot themselves in the face due to the way things are pointing is kind of funny.

Also, with boys, be prepared for them standing at attention.

Schedule, schedule, schedule. If you do this, the baby will be much more predictable and much easier to put to bed, feed, less cranky, etc. If you have an erratic schedule, be prepared for a fussy baby.

[Maple Leafs]

A few other thoughts:

- Newborn babies don't look like they do in the movies. They come out all squished up and odd looking. Don't be surprised when your brand new baby looks like it's been thoroughly beaten up. In a way, it has

- They also don't react to you in the early weeks like they will later. They're still interested in you (especially your voice and your face). Just be prepared to spend countless hours singing to, reading to and trying to entertain your baby while he/she stares up at you with an expression that could be mistaken for "Wow, you're a tool".

- Hopefully this won't happen to you, but if anything unusual happens during labor/birth you may find yourself being given a list of options by the doctor and being asked what you'd like to do, I'd recommend an answer along the lines of "How about you, the doctor, tell us what you think we should do".

- Expect to feel completely overwhelmed the first few days you have your baby home with you. Just go with it. Those early days will drag on forever and will pass by incredibly quickly. That sounds impossible, but it's true.

[JonInMiddleGA]

... while he/she stares up at you with an expression that could be mistaken for "Wow, you're a tool".

I know the look you mean, although we refer to it here as
"Oh crap. You really don't have the slightest idea what you're doing, do you?"

[Maple Leafs]

I know the look you mean, although we refer to it here as
"Oh crap. You really don't have the slightest idea what you're doing, do you?"
AKA "Please tell me I'm adopted".

[KevinNU7]

Also, with boys, be prepared for them standing at attention.
This surprised the heck out of me the first time it happened.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Got this suggestion from my friend regarding the mood of a mom who is 9 months pregnant and quite uncomfortable........

I think in the last week before she finally went into labor, her Dad came in from Missouri to join her mom who was already here, thank God. Anyway, Dad comes in with some gifts for the baby from people in MO. My wife busts out crying that everyone only cares about the baby. Taking this subtle clue, I steal off to the local mall and buy some jewelery just for her. I give it to her and then hear her cry that I didn't bring home anything for the baby, who by the way, wasn't born yet. I suggest keeping your favorite beer in the fridge at all times during her final week. Just don't let it be a brand she might like as she will complain that she can't have any and you are torturing her.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

This surprised the heck out of me the first time it happened.

I'm having a girl, so my main concern is securing a good shotgun before she enters middle school.

[Ksyrup]

Regarding the time to go to the hospital.... the second one the doctors induced because my wife kept getting false labor so they just set a date and did it. But the first one - in all honesty, we coordinated it with the time we could drop our dog off at the vet. And what made it difficult was my wife went into labor at 10:30 at night, so we went the entire night at home until the kennel opened around 8 am, and then went to the hospital. They actually told her to walk around and come bak in 30 minutes, so we were early, if anything, but coordinating the dog drop-off determined when we went.

I know, I know...

[MizzouRah]

She'll be medicated for the delivery. It's only supposed to be about 6 1/2 pounds, so probably will end up natural childbirth. Going to go with breast feeding as my wife works at home.

Yeah, the due date is February 8th, but I fear we may not have the baby until after that. That presents a quite unfortunate problem, as the MU/KU basketball game in Columbia is February 10th. My sister and brother-in-law are rooting for a late delivery so they can use the tickets instead of me. :(

I'll take the tickets. ;)

[Ksyrup]

No dilation last Thursday. Think she has another appointment this Thursday.

Expect that there's a very good chance her appointment will kick-start her labor. That's not unusual so close to the due date, and that's what happened with us the first time around. She went in for her exam, they did the typical poking and prodding, and about 6 hours later, labor started.

[Ksyrup]

I know the look you mean, although we refer to it here as
"Oh crap. You really don't have the slightest idea what you're doing, do you?"

Or, as more darkly described by Mike Patton:


You're everything
That's why I cling to you
When I emerge
My thoughts converge to you
To you
The world is so small
Compared to you
And everybody's wrong
Compared to you
To you
I begin to see through your eyes
All the former mysteries are no surprise
So now, you listen
Cuz I'm omniscient
Hey look at me lady
I'm just a little baby
You're lucky to have me
I'm cute and sweet as candy
As charming as a fable
I'm innocent and disabled
So hug me and kiss me
Then wipe my butt and piss me
I hope you never leave
Cuz who would hear me scream?
Nobody understands
Except the toys in my hands
So now you listen
Cuz I'm omniscient
Hey look at me lady
I'm just a little baby
If I smile, then you smile
Then I'll get mad for awhile
I melt in your mouth
And in your hands whenever I can
But I really do nothing
Except kickin' and fussin'
I like to make a mess
I laugh at your distress
I sit all day in my crib
Absorbing all you give
I'm helpless
I'm flawless
I'm a machine
Give me, I need my toys...
Keep me hot
Keep me strong
Keep me everlong
So now you listen
Cuz I'm omniscient

[DolphinFan1]

We were lucky as my wife was induced as the doctor thought the baby was getting too big. She was a week overdue. So we were already at the hospital. However, they induced at 7:30 A.M. on a Tuesday morning. But she didn't have the baby until 6:30 A.M. the following morning. I stayed up all night at the hospital along with my parents and brother.

The next day we brought Zachary home. I have never been so exhausted as after he was born. But it was a good exhausted as it was jubulation and mental. Be prepared to be extremely tired after it is all over. You won't even realize how tired you are while it is happening.

The other thing is don't be worried about it. It will all work out. The doctor's know what they are doing. If you worry too much you will waste energy you are going to need for your wife. Trust me, I know.

[Ksyrup]

And if you're child is like virtually every other child in the world, you'll come to think of 7 am as "sleeping in" until they get old enough to understand (a) the concept of time, and (b) the concept of waking up and not having to immediately get out of bed. Our 7 year old has been there for a couple of years, but then we added the 2 year old to the mix, so nothing has changed...yet.

[JAG]

Expect that there's a very good chance her appointment will kick-start her labor. That's not unusual so close to the due date, and that's what happened with us the first time around. She went in for her exam, they did the typical poking and prodding, and about 6 hours later, labor started.

FWIW (that's for you Jon), this is what happened with us, except the labor started 2 hours after the appointment after she had shown zero dilation.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

And if you're child is like virtually every other child in the world, you'll come to think of 7 am as "sleeping in" until they get old enough to understand (a) the concept of time, and (b) the concept of waking up and not having to immediately get out of bed. Our 7 year old has been there for a couple of years, but then we added the 2 year old to the mix, so nothing has changed...yet.

I wake up just after 5 AM to go to work every day. Sleeping until 7 AM on the weekend IS sleeping in for me. :)

[KevinNU7]

And if you're child is like virtually every other child in the world, you'll come to think of 7 am as "sleeping in" until they get old enough to understand (a) the concept of time, and (b) the concept of waking up and not having to immediately get out of bed. Our 7 year old has been there for a couple of years, but then we added the 2 year old to the mix, so nothing has changed...yet.
Well some babies are freaks. My son (1 year old) falls asleep anyware from 9-12 but sleeps until 8-9. We had him on a 9-9 routine but he is working through losing one of his naps so it has screwed up his overnight sleep a little.

[Ksyrup]

Our kids are in bed by 7:30 (the 7 year old sometimes stays up until 8). They're too tired to stay up much later and we haven't noticed them sleeping longer if we let them stay up, so it's early bed time for them.

[Butter]

Our kids are in bed by 7:30 (the 7 year old sometimes stays up until 8). They're too tired to stay up much later and we haven't noticed them sleeping longer if we let them stay up, so it's early bed time for them.


That's about my kids' schedule too. If we let them stay up until 9 or 10, they still wake up at 6:30 and are just extra cranky the next day until they catch up on their sleep the next night.

[KevinNU7]

My wife loves to sleep-in so I think my son is just accomidating her :)

[rkmsuf]

control your kids, people

[wishbone]

I think the 3rd week after getting home is the toughest. Usually any community support has dried up by that time, Dad's back to work and the initial wonder has worn off. Sleep deprivation is starting to become an issue, Post-Partum Depression may be a reality and you begin to realize there is no end in sight.

My wife and I both benefitted a lot of from a local New Mom's group. It was sponsored by the local hospital, had a nurse moderator and was an open meeting where the kids could play (not so much at first) the moms could talk and ask questions. I went a few times and it was nice to hear that some of the thoughts/feeling I had were normal. We made a lot of good friends that we still hang out with through the group, people that we would not have met any other way.

[Lorena]

A lot of good advice in here and before I continue, it is very important for the baby to sleep face up for the first year of her life. Having the baby sleep on their tummy increases the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

I don't know what else to say than what has already been said but every pregnancy, delivery, and baby is different; heck, even the contractions started off in different areas for me! About breastfeeding, jeez, that's almost a controversial issue IMO. There's the "Breast is Best" campaign and all kinds of madness but you know what? I breastfed our first longer than our second and she got sick more often than our youngest. She had pneumonia twice before she was 1!! I felt like I HAD to breastfeed her because of what everyone said but damn, my nipples hurt like hell so I stopped. I applaud those who can do it but it's just not for everyone.

Good luck and we'll see you in this thread http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=43500 :)

[Yellow5]

I think the 3rd week after getting home is the toughest. Usually any community support has dried up by that time, Dad's back to work and the initial wonder has worn off. Sleep deprivation is starting to become an issue, Post-Partum Depression may be a reality and you begin to realize there is no end in sight.

We just had a son in October and this how it was for us. The first few weeks everyone was over at the house helping with meals and stuff but by week three we were on our own. It just takes a little time getting into a routine.

My wife didn't have any post-partum depression but I wanted her entire focus on taking care of the baby and not have to worry about anything else. We have two teenagers so it was my job to run the house, and do all of the stuff she would normally take care of.

It gets a lot better after the first month or two. We are in our third month and things are awesome. Baby sleeps through the night, older kids are helping out and everyone is happy.

There was one single book that really helped me, Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads (http://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Practical-Handbook-Dads/dp/0743251547). It's like a popular mechanics guide for new dads, it's funny and everything makes a lot of sense. This is the one book I keep coming back to as my baby grows.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Geez......I think I've got more good info from this thread than any other place thus far. Keep them coming if you have anything to add. Thanks.

[CamEdwards]

Wow. After reading all this, I'm really lucky. No long labors, the twins have been sleeping through the night for about a year now (they'll be two in March), never had colic, etc.

The one thing I'd say is don't be afraid to walk away sometimes. There'll be days when the baby is just screaming for no reason, and it can quickly get on your last nerve. When I'd feel myself getting stressed, I learned to put the twins in their cribs so they couldn't hurt themselves, and to go out on the back deck for three or four minutes just to calm myself down. Then it was back into the house and try to deal with them again.

Also, do keep an eye on your wife for signs of post-partum depression. With the twins, my wife was really too busy to do anything but deal with them, but with my six-year old, she did have some issues for a while.

[cougarfreak]

I've got a nine month old. Save up the sick days.........I've been home since last tuesday, she's got rotavirus. Buy stock in diaper companies. But it's been the best nine months of my life.:)