Barkeep49
01-31-2007, 09:14 AM
Well, here goes. I decided to start off with some of the serious questions and questions about my background. Then we move on to some of the funny questions with a few more serious things mixed in. There's a lot more that I could have said in some of these answers, but I didn't want this thing to get waaaaaaaaaay too long. I hope it's interesting enough, and I'd be glad to answer any followup questions that may come from this. Thanks for all the great questions. I had fun answering them.
terpkristin: You're originally from Louisiana, right? If yes, what's it like to now live in a locale where it snows in the winter (well, most winters anyway)? If no, where are you originally from (because I really thought it was the southeast...)?
Yes, I'm a native New Orleanian. I don't know how to handle the snow or the cold weather. I wrecked my car into a guardrail last March because the car slid in the snow. Yesterday morning, I spent 45 minutes trying to get my car door open, as it had frozen shut. I used an entire 25-pound bag of rock salt on a 30-foot length of sidewalk/walkway because I didn't know how much was too much. It's still a learning experience for me. I haven't even seen "real" snow yet. People around here tell me about the storm that dropped 2 feet of snow on the city a few years ago. I've been whining about 3 inches of snow.
albionmoonlight: What has been the hardest thing about leaving New Orleans?
The hardest thing has been leaving my friends behind. Pretty much everybody I work with is at least 20 years older than I am, so we don't have very much in common. In contrast, most of the people I knew in New Orleans were much closer to my age, or at least we had similar interests. I really didn't think that I'd be here for a year and a half and not really know anybody in the area, but that's how it's turned out. I don't really have time or many chances to meet new people, so it's different for me. I miss my friends.
albionmoonlight: What has been the best thing about leaving New Orleans?
The best thing has been seeing my wife so happy. She loved New Orleans, but she was a student and uncertain about her future. Now, she's finally doing what she wants to do. Besides that, I'm glad to really experience another part of the country. I'm seeing mountains and snow and people who grew up in a different way than I did. It's all a learning experience for me, and I'm happy to have the opportunity to enjoy it. Another thing is that I'm happy to see New Orleans from a distance. I gained a new appreciation for the city after I left. I became more proud of my hometown than ever after I left (even before Katrina), and I might have missed that if I had never gone anywhere.
Eaglesfan27: What do you miss most about New Orleans?
I miss the activity. At least before Katrina, there was always something happening. I'm not a party guy or anything, but if I ever got bored in the house, I could jump in the car or hop on the streetcar and just go do something. I could go to a concert or a ball game or just walk around Canal Street and buy random stuff from one of the many stores there. It's not the same here. Maybe it's like that in Pittsburgh, but that's 35 miles away from me. In Greensburg, it's basically the mall and Wal-Mart. There seem to be "dark" periods here when nothing is going on, and I haven't adjusted to that. If I get bored in the house now, I get confused. I don't feel like I can just go anywhere and let the activity find me.
Antmeister: I seem to remember that you moved away from New Orleans a while before Katrina hit. Do you think that was a blessing (since you were able to avoid it with your immediate family) or a curse (since you were away from the family your grew up with)? And how is the family doing overall?
albionmoonlight: How has your family done since Katrina?
First of all, thanks for asking. I'll never forget the post I made on FOFC right after Katrina hit. I wrote it because I was so concerned about my family. At that time, it felt like a tremendous curse that I had left weeks before that disaster. I know that it's a blessing now. My wife and I had spent months trying to figure out how we were going to start our lives in an unfamiliar place. It would've hurt us badly to have that anticipation derailed by the storm.
My family has resettled and everyone is doing quite well. My mother is near Lafayette, LA, and she's doing fine. I don't know if she'll move back to New Orleans, but she's happy right now. She has other family members near her, and that gives them all something familiar to make the transition easier. My father is just outside Atlanta, and I'm almost positive that he won't be moving back to New Orleans. He really has nothing to go back to. He was retired from his job, and he lost many of his possessions in the flooding. He seems happy in Georgia, however, and he's expressed that he's really getting into photography. He's been a camera buff since before I was born, but now he has time to really explore it. I have one other family member to mention, but that connects to the next question.
Antmeister: Do you have any siblings?
Yes. I have a sister who's 21 months older than I am. She lives in Louisiana with my mother. She finished her English degree from the University of New Orleans at the end of 2005. Katrina was rough on her in that way because it turned her final semester upside-down. She had to take the rest of her classes over the Internet, and nobody at the university was really sure of how to run an entire curriculum that way. From the accounts I've heard, UNO did an excellent job with it, and my sister didn't have to wait any longer to graduate. She'd been going part-time for 8 or 9 years, and I'm sure that she was ready to get it over with.
albionmoonlight: How do you see the recovery happening, based on what friends and family tell you?
I know that it has a long way to go. If I had to go by some of the stuff I've seen on TV, I'd think that New Orleans was all rebuilt and it's back to its old self. Mardi Gras is coming up, and there'll be shots of people crowding the French Quarter. During Saints games on TV, you'd see a party going on right outside the stadium. It looks great. Then I talk to people in other parts of the metro area, and I hear the real stories. I hear about the traffic. I hear about some of the places that still haven't reopened. I hear about places that might never reopen.
On the bright side, it sounds like things are improving, and I'm glad to hear that. I was afraid that the place might end up bring practically abandoned, but people love New Orleans too much. The recovery will take several years, but it's still happening at a much faster pace than I expected. Honestly, when I saw pictures of the worst flooding, I thought that the place would be uninhabitable for at least a couple of years. New Orleanians are a resilient bunch, though, and they weren't going to go down that easily.
Antmeister: What exactly is your real name? I just remember Cyril is part of your real name, but I don't know if that is your first or last name.
stevew: Do people call you Short Tircuit?
Dodgerchick: How does it feel to be heir to Triscuit crackers?
Hi, I'm Cyril Tircuit. Nice to meet you! "Short Tircuit" is a new one to me. People actually do mispronounce my last name all the time, so I'm surprised that nobody came up with that before. It's actually pronounced "TER-kweet" and that just freaks people out. I've heard all kinds of variations of my name: Triscuit, Tricou, Tancit, etc. I have a very unique name, so I'm not surprised by anything people come up with anymore.
Eaglesfan27: I know that there were some challenges in moving from NJ to New Orleans when I did so, what has been the biggest challenge in moving from Louisiana to Pennsylvania?
Thankfully, the biggest challenge is over. The biggest challenge was finding a job. I was really comfortable at my job in New Orleans, and I still don't know if I'm going to get that comfortable at my current job. At least I finally have one, though. I was getting really tired of temporary assignments, and I was getting deathly close to applying for jobs that I really didn't want, just out of desperation. My current job isn't ideal, but it's a pretty good paycheck for the work that I do.
wade moore: What do you really do at the Coal Mine?
I'm a purchasing clerk. I hate using the word "clerk" to describe my job because it's not really very descriptive. Basically, though, I sit in an office and process the orders that come from our coal mines. A large portion of my work involves keying in the stuff that the mines received, although I help with analysis of the sales figures, and I also help the accounting department. It's a lot of repetition, so it gets boring at times, but I'm learning something about coal, so I guess that's something.
Desnudo: Why a coal mine?
Because the karaoke bar wasn't hiring.
cartman: Is another day older and deeper in debt really all you get for sixteen tons at the coal mine?
Nope. That's not all. You can also get about $10 and black lung. Yes, sir, you are thisclose to being a coal whore.
Antmeister: How did you end up in your current job? Are you still working around a lot of coal dust?
This is an easy question. Temp agency. The agency had me working at a bank in a locked room with 8 women. While it was hard to leave that, the drive was too long and it didn't pay enough. I begged the agency to get me out of there, and they placed me at the coal company. I am still around a lot of coal dust because the papers I process come directly from the coal mines. It doesn't even faze me anymore. To be honest, I don't even notice it. I have to literally remind myself to wash my hands thoroughly before I eat lunch because I don't even realize how much of that junk is on my hands.
Antmeister: What were the most difficult times of your life?
Watching my parents argue with each other. They separated when I was about 12 years old, and that was one of the happiest times of my life, just because I knew that they shouldn't be living together. My home was miserable in the years leading up to their separation, though. I love my parents, but I would always cringe when Dad walked in the door from work, because I didn't know if or when the arguments would start. It was almost every night, and the evenings usually ended with my dad sitting in front of the living room TV and my mom crying in the bedroom. My sister and I spent a lot of time consoling her, and that wasn't very easy for children of our age.
Antmeister: If you could hold a Poloroid snapshot of your most fondest memory, how would you describe the picture?
I remember the rainy night in May 2002 very well. It was my graduation from college. I know that my family has been proud of me since I was born, but I had everyone in my family pose with me and my diploma, and there was a visual sign of that pride that they'd had all along. I was the first male in my family to graduate from college, and I'll always remember that as an event that I could share with my entire family. They earned it as much as I did.
Eaglesfan27: Who has been the most influential person in your life to this point?
Definitely my wife. She has encouraged me to do each positive thing that's happened in my life in the past 8 years. If anything has turned out well for me, it's because she's helped me keep my drive to do it. She's not doing it just to look like "the good wife." She listens to my concerns and gives me very level-headed encouragement. She really thinks it through and knows exactly how to motivate me. I wouldn't be half the man I am without her.
Antmeister: How did you get with your woman?
Internet. Seriously. I don't know how many of you are familiar with MOOs (MUD Object Oriented), but they're like text-driven virtual environments. Some people use them for roleplaying games, others use them for education, and others just use them to chat. I became friends with a guy who ran one, and his best friend just happened to be the woman who would become my wife. I helped him run the MOO, and he introduced her to it. She and I started chatting with each other, and that eventually led to her visiting me from Memphis. I was nervous as hell for various reasons, but she was really cool about the whole thing, even though she was travelling 400 miles and staying with a strange guy's family for a week. The first meeting went well, and then she came back again a couple of months later.
We knew that we wanted to be together, but it was still a long-distance relationship, and we didn't want to do that. She was about to graduate from the University of Memphis, and she was researching graduate schools. Tulane had an excellent computer science program, so she applied. Obviously, she got in, but she was also offered a four-year fellowship, so the university paid her to be a student there. She got to move to New Orleans, and we got to be together. Five years later, we got married, and we're coming up on our third wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks.
wade moore: I believe you've implied that your wife is the so called "bread winner" for the family, has this been a difficult thing to handle?
Perhaps I'm giving myself too much credit, but I don't think it's been difficult at all. It was really only difficult during my job search because I felt that I was putting a lot of financial pressure on her. Now that I'm working, everything seems great. I'm extraordinarily proud of her, and I couldn't possibly have any bad feelings about her success. I think it's fantastic.
stevew: How annoyed are you with constantly having to tell/correct family/friends back home that your wife works at Seton Hill, not Seton Hall?
For years, my co-workers in New Orleans knew that I'd be moving because my wife would find a teaching job. They were just waiting to find out where she'd be working. When she finally accepted the position, I broke the news to everybody. I mentioned the school, and so many of my co-workers said stuff like, "Wow! That's a pretty big school! They have a pretty good basketball team, don't they?" Well, um, yeah, Seton Hill does have a pretty good basketball team... for a school that just left the NAIA this year. It never really sunk in to everybody that it was Seton Hill until I bought a Seton Hill t-shirt and wore it at work. When they saw a griffin instead of a pirate, I think they finally got the point.
Antmeister: I always got the sense that you were never happy with the way your future career came out. Am I wrong about this? And if so, what is your dream job?
You're absolutely right. I enrolled at the University of New Orleans with three choices in mind: computer science, psychology, and electrical engineering. Communications was something that hit me at the very last minute. I'd spent years watching SportsCenter all night, and I thought that I wanted to be on television. Things looked promising in my first couple of years at school. I was excelling in my classes, and I was learning a lot (both in class and on my own) about mass media. I thought things would work out beautifully.
I had been working in a hat store in the French Quarter since the year before college. I left that job to take an internship at the local NBC affiliate. I got placed in the sports department, and I really thought that things couldn't get better. I was naive enough to think that maybe I could come out of the internship with a job offer. Well, silly me. I still had more than a full year of school to go, and even though I did well at my internship, they certainly weren't looking to hire me to do part-time work. I was very sad to leave the station because I really found a new love in editing. It's not exactly my "dream job" to be a video editor, but I would absolutely love to do that for a living.
Anyway, after leaving the station, I sat unemployed for a couple of months. I decided to go to a temp agency because I wanted to work. The hat store had closed, and I didn't want to do retail again anyway. The temp agency gave me a typing test, which was way too easy for me. I got placed at a ship supply company as a data entry person. The ship supply company worked around my class schedule and made me feel very comfortable. I started to earn more respect there as time passed, and I moved from just being a keyboard jockey into a person who did all kinds of projects for the company. It was good for me, but it ultimately locked me into being an office worker. That's where I was gaining work experience, and as time went by, my internship at the TV station seemed to be less and less important. I went from being fresh out of an internship to being an office worker who slummed in a newsroom "a couple of years ago." It probably wouldn't mean much to a station manager, especially in a decent-sized market like New Orleans.
Now it's been almost 7 years since that internship, and it's essentially meaningless now. I don't remember how to work the editing equipment, and I'm far enough removed from my communications studies that the concepts of proper design and photojournalism techniques don't come naturally anymore. I have to spend too much time thinking about it, and sometimes, I feel like I'm just guessing. Looking back on it, doing creative work for television seems like a cute idea for me, but I don't think anybody would give me a chance now.
I guess I feel like I took all the right steps - going to college, graduating magna cum laude, doing the internship - but I let the opportunity slip through my fingers. I can't turn back the clock and really push hard for that dream of working in television when it would've been more practical. If I decide that I really, REALLY want to do it, I'm pretty much going to have to start from scratch. Sure, I have this degree, but I still feel like I'd have to take some additional classes or something just to figure out how things work now.
Antmeister: Any plans on having children in the future?
None at all. Neither I nor my wife is interesting in having children. We both recognize that we just don't wish to turn our lives over to children. I hope that doesn't sound terrible. It's a wonderful thing when people have children and become good parents. My wife and I just recognize that there's a massive commitment involved with having children, and it's something that we've decided we don't completely want to do. It would be a terrible disservice to a child if either parent wasn't 100% committed to being a parent (and far too many kids have had to deal with that problem), so we aren't going to do it. I have nothing against people who want to have children, nor do I have anything against children. We just feel that it's not right for us.
Antmeister: Being another person in an interracial relationship, did you find that you had to adapt to your spouse's culture, or were you cultures similar based on the area you both resided in?
I don't think there was much adaptation needed. I admit that there was a little bit, but it wasn't anything life-changing. Our cultures were very similar, but I think that it has to do with both of us coming from very accepting families, and we'd both had interactions with different types of people.
Antmeister: Would you say you are extroverted or introverted in your real life persona?
On the surface, probably introverted. I'm not exactly shy, but I know that once I get rolling, I can be a little off-putting. My sense of humor is certainly unlike most others, and many people need time to get used to that. Not to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but I'm a pretty nice guy, and once people see that, they're cool with everything else. So, basically, I reel things in during my first couple of meetings with somebody. After that, the gloves are off and I'm about as extroverted as they get.
terpkristin: What's a question that hasn't been asked here that you "hoped" would get asked (and what's the answer)?
I think I'd hoped for a question about being homeschooled. Maybe not enough people know about that.
My mother started homeschooling me and my sister halfway through my sixth grade year. We went on Thanksgiving break at our school and never went back. My mom took over. I think she knew that something needed to be done, as I was regularly coming home saying, "I'm not learning anything at school." What parent wants to hear that every week from a 10-year-old? She figured that she could do a better job herself, and I think she did.
I think if people here knew or remembered that I was homeschooled through my high school years, I might've gotten a question about it. I know that a lot of people worry that kids don't develop very good social skills if they're homeschooled. I don't know if that happened to me or not. My concern was that I wouldn't be prepared for college. I didn't know anything about a classroom atmosphere (at least not at a level above sixth grade). I ended up doing quite well in college, though, so it worked out fine.
Eaglesfan27: Which superhero is your favorite?
I don't know a whole lot about superheroes, but I have always wished that I was the Flash. Remember, that's "Flash", not "Flasch."
Draft Dodger: What kind of dork names himself after a punter?
At least I didn't name myself after Sean Landeta. Now THAT would be sick.
Logan: How long you planning on keeping the 'stache? Do you get compliments on it? Awkward stares? Fits of jealousy?
I'm going to keep this thing forever. Occasionally, I shave it off when it's getting out of control, but that's just so it can come back stronger than ever. I have gotten tons of compliments on it. Hell, I don't even need to keep the thing very neatly trimmed. It just needs to exist, and it's suddenly a conversation topic. Yes, there have been awkward stares and fits of jealousy, although I'm not sure if those are from the moustache or if they're from the feather boa.
albionmoonlight: What are your top five favorite video games of all time?
This is a tough one for me. I've been playing video games since 1980, so I've played hundreds upon hundreds of games. In no particular order, I'm going to go with Football Manager 2006 (haven't gotten into 2007 yet), MVP Baseball 2005, NFL Blitz (arcade version), College Hoops 2K7, and Civilization II. I'm all about sports, even though I play a few different types of games.
albionmoonlight: What's your favorite meal?
Hamburger and fries. I keep it basic. I'm happy with a burger place or a pizza place. I do eat other things, and I appreciate them, but for me, there's nothing like a really good hamburger.
stevew: How's the Pittsburgh food, as compared to New Orleans. I know they make a mean po' boy there, but I've heard good things about Primanti's and several other pittsburgh locations.
To me, every sandwich around Pittsburgh is "just a sandwich" to me. I mean, it's no different than something I could make with stuff out of my refrigerator. A real New Orleans po' boy, on the other hand, is special. It's irreplaceable. Primanti's is OK, but I wouldn't go out of my way to have it. I also can't manage to say "hoagie" with a straight face, so that makes it hard to order food around here sometimes. Maybe if I try some type of "authentic" Pittsburgh food, I may understand it better, but for now, I've basically just been limited to the sandwiches. I do intend to travel into Pittsburgh several times just to eat, and maybe I'll learn more about it.
albionmoonlight: What is it like being married to a professor? Do you ever have to go to department parties as arm candy? If so, do you wear your cereal killer t-shirt?
It's weird seeing the "other side" of college. I still remember what it was like to be a student, and I really had no idea what professors go through. Now I'm hearing about it all the time, and I almost feel guilty about things I used to do (showing up to class late, occasionally ignoring homework, not asking for help when I really needed it, etc.). I have been to a couple of parties with her, and I am definitely arm candy. What's funny is that I'm a t-shirt-and-jeans guy, but I try to dress it up at least a little bit when we attend one of these things. She insists to me that I can dress however I'd like, but I don't listen to her. Of course, for me, dressing up is wearing a polo shirt and jeans, so it's not really that different.
As far as the Cereal Killer t-shirt goes, that's pretty much reserved for bowling night and Pumpy pics now. I don't wear it much otherwise.
albionmoonlight: Where is the most interesting place that you have ever been?
I haven't been to too many places, so this answer is an easy one. The most interesting place I've ever been to is Las Vegas. As someone who doesn't travel a lot, I felt like I was in another world. I didn't leave the Strip in my entire week there, so I know that there were tons of things I didn't see, and I really only got the "gambling tourist" experience, but it was great. I felt like I was living in a movie, just from all the lights and sounds.
Draft Dodger: How tall are you?
I'm only 5'4". :(
duckman: Do you comb your mustache while at the dinner table?
Absolutely not. I have employed the services of a young Vietnamese woman named Monica and a Brazilian man named Luciano, however. They not only comb it, but they also shampoo, blow dry, and cuddle it. They're starting to ask for too much money, though, so I think I'm gonna have to cut these bitches off. If anyone else wants in on this, there just might be a job available for you soon!
duckman: What is the best prank you have ever pulled off?
This might be hard to believe, but I'm not much of a prankster. It requires too much planning, and I usually just improvise. In fact, the only prank I've ever pulled (and it wasn't really a prank) was getting my mother-in-law carded at a casino a couple of years ago. It wasn't anything that I'd planned very far in advance. She and some other family and friends were in town for my wife's graduation from Tulane. We had all spent the day together, and it just suddenly occurred to me that my mother-in-law would flip out if she got carded. Nobody would ever mistake her for being under 21 (or even under 51), so it was quite a shock to her. As I said, though, it's not really much of a prank. The only reason I remember it is because I managed to get our entire group in on the gag without her finding out about it. That was quite a feat considering that this group of about 8 people never separated from each other all day.
duckman: Do you sing (or hum) Coal Miner's Daughter while at work?
No, I don't. That's a pretty good idea, though, since I already wear a Loretta Lynn wig at work. Why didn't I think of this?
duckman: Do you use the 2nd lane when going through a two-lane drive thru?
I've never been to any place that has two lanes. I find that concept to be very, very strange.
st.cronin: Complete the analogy - Tom Brady : Football :: ___________ : Hockey
Brian Gionta. Nobody's prettier than Brian Gionta.
Axxon: Why won't you fix my food processor?
Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm not Batman?
dawgfan: Just who is Batman?
Some white dude sitting on a bench eating a Snickers bar, if I remember correctly.
terpkristin: Why Batman?
Because the karaoke bar wasn't hiring.
Dark Cloud: Did you know that Prince invited to the Florida A&M Marching 100 (who actually have like more than 100 people) to perform with him at half-time in the Super Bowl?
I did.
Dark Cloud: Don't you think that they should move the event to New Orleans and call it the Bayou Classic presented by the NFL, just for this year?
Florida A&M has nothing on New Orleans' St. Augustine High School band. If they'd get the St. Aug Marching 100, then I'm with you. Since it's just FAMU, though, nah, let's not even involve New Orleans in this.
Dark Cloud: Is America ready?
That's an excellent question. Here's the checklist. If America can answer yes to four out of these five questions, then America is ready:
1. Can you chew gum?
2. Do you want some fish sticks?
3. Do you have at least 512MB of RAM?
4. Are you going to tell anybody about this?
5. VELVEETA!!!
duckman: Have you ever taken someone (or been taken) snipe hunting?
Goodness, no. That would drive me up a wall.
miked: Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford?
Brad Pitt knows how to crash the net, but Harrison Ford is much more defense-minded. Since I'm a defense guy, I'm going with Ford.
albionmoonlight: If you could sit down and have a beer with three people from history, who would you pick and why?
In no particular order:
1. Harold Lloyd. I love physical comedy, and he was one of the best at it. I'd love to be able to ask him exactly how he developed his skill and style. I'd also love to find out what he found funny about himself.
2. Richard Pryor. First of all, my dad used to look like Richard Pryor, so I think it'd be kind of neat to see the resemblance in person. More importantly, Richard Pryor brought so much of his life into his comedy, yet I never found him to be typecast as himself in his movie roles. He could have easily been Silly, Foul-Mouthed Black Guy in every movie he did, but he was dynamic, more than most people might realize. I would have loved the opportunity to just sit with him and hear him tell a story. He could've just read his autobiography and I'd have been drawn in.
3. Al Davis. I wouldn't say anything to him. I'd just hit him and run.
vtbub: Who are your comedic mentors?
Antmeister: Since you have a unique sense of humor, I want to know who are your favorite comedians or even favorite comedic movies?
I've already mentioned Richard Pryor. Other favorites are George Carlin, Lewis Black, and Chris Rock. It's funny that I have no interest in politics, and some of their humor (most of it in Black's case) comes from politics. I think I like that they all take real situations and find jokes about them. I don't mean real situations like going out on a date or going to see a movie, but really specific events.
For movies, I mentioned Harold Lloyd and physical comedy before. I love movies like Airplane! and The Naked Gun series. Mel Brooks movies are good, too. I love sight gags, and movies like those work for me.
Eaglesfan27: Who is your favorite musical artist and why?
Antmeister: What are your favorite genres of music?
My favorite musical artist is Weird Al. Yeah, yeah, I'm probably too old to call him my favorite, but he makes me laugh, and he puts on a hell of a show. If you want my attention, make me laugh. He does it every time. Besides that, I'm a big Sevendust fan, and I hope to see them in concert someday. I'm not sure why I'm a big Sevendust fan. I guess it's really as simple as the fact that I love their sound.
I can listen to almost any type of music. Country music never really clicked with me, but most other stuff works. I don't really know if something like Sevendust is considered "hard rock" or "alternative" or whatever, so I guess I'd say to find the alternative station on your radio and that's going to be my favorite stuff. I'm a big fan of '80s pop music, too. I can listen to rap music, but I like it more if it's funny in a way. The sillier it is, the better. I don't know why I prefer rap music to be silly, but I do.
Also, REO Speedwagon is the BEST THING EVAR.
Antmeister: Any school related stories that you think is worth sharing?
I probably have quite a few, but I don't have any really GREAT ones (at least not that I can remember right now). I'll just connect this to the last question. In a freshman visual design class, the instructor was a man about 35 years old. Most of the students were about 18. I was 20. The instructor made an REO Speedwagon reference, and I said, "That's awesome." All the students looked at me like I had three heads. I asked, "What? Am I the only REO Speedwagon fan in here?" I instantly lost all of my "cool points" in that class. From that point forward, I knew that the girl with the curly hair would never love me.
Antmeister: What is the secret behind the happy-go-lucky attitude?
It's a cliche, but life is short. I try to find fun in any situation. I'm a goofball. I'll usually just say whatever goofy thing comes to my mind, and it just loosens me and everyone else up. I'M LIKE A FREAKIN' ELIXIR, MAN!
Antmeister: Were you a stunt double for Prince in Purple Rain?
Prince was my stunt double, actually, but thanks for asking.
Antmeister: Did you play any sports growing up?
I've never been very good at sports, as much as I love them. The highlights:
In fifth grade, I played basketball. I was last on the depth chart. I was behind the kid who needed braces on his legs just to be able to walk. I'm not trying to make fun of the kid here, but HE NEEDED BRACES TO WALK. He couldn't run, and he couldn't dribble, and he was ahead of me on the depth chart. I only played in two games all season, and I only touched the basketball once. I recovered a loose ball, didn't know what to do, and just hurled it down the court. I don't even remember if anyone caught it. In the other game I played, I went into the game as we were inbounding the ball. The defense put one guy on the inbound man and double-teamed each of our two best players. That meant that they had 5 defenders covering 3 players. You know who was left? Me and the kid with the braces. We were completely undefended. Completely. The pass went to the kid with the braces who caught the ball and instantly fell over, dropping the ball and turning it over.
In sixth grade, I played flag football. The coach drew up a play specifically for me. I played in one game. He sent me in with the play. The quarterback told me to block instead. The QB threw a touchdown pass to some other kid on that play, I came out of the game, and I never played again.
The next year, I played baseball. I had an injured throwing arm and could only throw the ball once a day. I'm not kidding. Once I threw the ball, my bicep hurt so badly that my arm went totally limp. I loved baseball, so I kept going to practice, but I didn't have a position. They tried me in the outfield, but my arm didn't allow that to happen. They tried me at second base, but I had trouble fielding ground balls. They tried me at first base, but I was scared of getting smacked by line drives. Like football, I appeared in only one game. They put me at shortstop. I played two innings, came up to bat once, grounded out, and never played again.
cartman: How do you handle that T.O. has replaced Pumpy Tudors as Tenn.-Chattanooga's most famous football player?
I've never heard of this "T.O." person, nor has anyone else in Chattanooga. Just trust me on this one. He doesn't exist. It's all Pumpy, all the time. Pumpy's a state trooper in Tennessee now. You won't see your precious " T.O." doing that.
Dodgerchick: When are Pumpy Pix coming back? Who the hell cares what Hell Atlantic says, those pictures made my day.
Antmeister: Why did you stop posting the Pumpy pics?
You mean Hell Atlantic isn't the person who decides what's proper for FOFC? Why didn't you people tell me this earlier?!
st.cronin: Would you adopt me?
Yes, but BRING SKITTLES, especially my favorite flavor!
sachmo71: Do you know that I find you oddly attractive?
Of course.
dawgfan: What's your favorite story to tell about yourself?
Sadly, there are far too many for me to pick one, and this whole thing is getting too long as it is. I'll have to find some random threads to slip my stories into, so you'll have to check EVERY THREAD ON THE BOARD for a Pumpy appearance. That's your assignment!
rkmsuf: Can you fix me up with Tanya? She sounds incredibly sensuous.
I can try. I'll ask her about it as soon as she's done flossing. Well, I guess she'll have to change the filters in the forklift when she's done flossing, but you get the idea.
dangarion: How much of your board persona is an act?
Believe it or not, none of it. This is me. I'm more reserved when I'm at work, but that's just because I'm surrounded by older people. I'm still silly, but I tone it down. FOFC is one of the places where I completely let go and be myself. When I'm posting here, I really love being me. It's a lot of fun.
bbor: How did your lunch meeting with the accountant go?
Honestly, I think I enjoyed it more than she did. I left with a smile, and all I remember her doing was quivering and sweating on the floor, trying to remember where she'd put her shoes, and singing some Sarah McLachlan song. I HATE Sarah McLachlan.
bbor: Is it true that if i put a piece of coal up my ass for long enough it will turn into a diamond?
Up my ass? Yes. Up your ass? I think it might just turn into a tortilla.
Draft Dodger: if you could make your own custom user title, what would it be?
Kitchen Bitch.
ISiddiqui: Do you normally hide in the basement of your office?
Every single day.
KWhit: If you could know the exact date and time of your death, would you want to know? Why or why not?
I think I would. I'd want to prepare my family and friends for it, even though that would be a very difficult and heart-wrenching thing to do.
duckman: Did you put a lump of coal in someone's stocking this past Christmas?
Well, I just happen to have a lump of coal right in front of me, but I only have one. I couldn't figure out who to give it to, so I just kept it for myself. I'm trying to get my hands on some more, and I'll be sure to think of you when the holidays roll around!
st.cronin: Would you like some onion rings?
OK, but they'd better not be that stupid strawberry flavor that you like so much.
Raiders Army: What current Raiders player would you want playing for the Denver Broncos?
If you'd asked me that last year, I'd say Shane Lechler. Now I'll go with Ronald Curry. I really think that he doesn't get enough credit. He's not a top-notch receiver, but for some reason, I've thought that he could be really good with the right team. I wouldn't mind seeing the Broncos give him a shot.
Senator: What is the biggest lie you ever told?
Well, this isn't going to be some big revelation or anything life-altering, but it's the truth. I've known one of my friends for about 18 years now, more than half our lives. I actually have him convinced of the following things:
- I'm from Saskatchewan
- I was in an improve comedy troupe known as the Security Envelopes when I was 6
- I appeared on "The Tonight Show"
- I had a guest appearance in an episode of "Martin"
In the first several years that I knew him, he didn't really ask anything about my life, but we were just teenagers. One night, he asked me to tell him more about myself, and I was trying to joke with him, but he was buying it the whole time. Now, 10 or 11 years later, he really believes all of this. It started as a joke, but now he's spread the story around to his mother and some of his friends, and I've played along. He has absolutely no idea that none of those things are even close to being true.
rkmsuf: Unlimited wealth or unlimited sex with Kathy Griffin?
In my mind, I imagine that Kathy Griffin has the unlimited wealth, so I think I can easily have both.
Eaglesfan27: Why do you have an infatuation with Kathy Griffin? Which show best utilized her talents?
Since I'm being honest, I might as well go all the way with this. The whole Kathy Griffin thing only started because I was trying to think of a name that would look really out of place in the "Hot or Not" polls. I didn't want to pick somebody old because that would be too easy. I didn't want to pick somebody who looked completely gross because then it wouldn't sound sincere. Kathy Griffin looks just barely good enough to think that someone might seriously nominate her, yet she obviously doesn't look good enough to finish ahead of anybody in the polls. It was a perfect balance. Of course, now that I've pushed that snowball down the hill, I've actually started to like her more and more. Silly me.
I loved her as the voice of Alice in the "Dilbert" animated series. She made that character come to life, man!
Dodgerchick: If you met Kathy Griffin what would you say to her?
"I would love to cover you in peppermint extract and take you to an Arena Football game. If you cheer for the Predators, I'm going to kick your shapely little ass. Watch yourself."
MIJB#19: Despite hanging out for so long at FOFC, you said you hadn't been in a multiplayer FOF league until last December? What kept you out of it? What do you think of your first experiences so far (okay, it's only live draft, but still.. http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/images/smilies/smile.gif)
I just doubted whether I'd really be willing to put forth the commitment to do it. Also, the lack of password protection in FOF2004 had me a little concerned about it. I'm not sure what I think of my first experience yet. I almost feel like the draft has been a crapshoot for me. I'm not sure if I have any vision when I'm building my team. I think it's going to be more fun once the games actually start.
st.cronin: Did you have a nickname in college and what was it? I'm guessing "onion rings".
You guessed wrong. It was "Chocolate Washout."
MikeVic: What is your favourite sports "group nickname?" By that I mean a group of players that are sometimes referred to a collective name. Lines in hockey have this sometimes, as do parts of baseball lineups and football teams.
Easy one for me. The "Crash Line" of the 1994-95 Devils.
Honolulu_Blue: Why the New Jersey Devils?
Honolulu_Blue: Favorite Devil of all time? Least favorite Devil of all time?
Pyser: will you ever like colin white?
Pyser: how did you end up liking the devils? if youre from nj, why the devs over the flyers/rangers depending on which part of the state youre from? what year did you start following?
This is going to seem really strange, but I became a Devils fan for one reason and one reason only: #1. Sean Burke. I don't know why, but when I was about 12 years old, he was my favorite player, and since he played for New Jersey, I became a Devils fan. He's not my favorite Devil of all time. That prestigious honor goes to Scott Niedermayer. I love Scott Stevens, but Niedermayer just seems to be one of those guys who does everything right. I never, ever, ever worried about him when he was on the ice. I was sad to see a lot of other good players go, but none hurt more than Scott Niedermayer heading west, especially considering that nothing could have kept him in New Jersey any longer. I understand that he wanted to go play with his brother, and he went to a very good team, but I wish he could've been convinced to stay in New Jersey.
My least favorite Devil is easily Colin White. I've already written an essay on FOFC about my problems with Colin White, so I won't repeat them here. I can only say that he's the opposite of Scott Niedermayer to me. While I never worried about Niedermayer, I am constantly worried about White. He's not a terrible hockey player. He's not the worst player on the current Devils roster (Hi, Erik Rasmussen!), but I still cringe whenever I see him on the ice. No Devil has made me cringe that much since Mike Peluso, and that's just because I was afraid of Peluso getting a 5-minute major for spearing somebody with his hair.
I've been following the Devils since the late 1980's. It was hard to really follow them for a few years there because I didn't get to see much hockey on TV, but I caught up around 1992 or 1993, and I've been really hooked ever since.
bbor: Did you cry when Scott Stevens retired?
What do you mean? Retired? He's not coming back for the playoffs? :( :(
bbor: Did you cry when Scott Neidermeyer left?
Yes, I did. And I think his mother is a bitch.
bbor: How does it feel to still be paying for Alex Mogilny?
The Devils are so embarrassed by him that they're making the fans pay part of his salary. I still owe the Devils $20 for this shit.
Pyser: most hated hockey team?
Easy. The freakin' Rangers.
Draft Dodger: Were you happy for Ray Bourque winning the Cup, even if it meant beating the Devils?
You know, I was really pissed off when Joe Sakic picked up the Cup that night, but the anger washed away when he handed the Cup to Bourque. That was one of the classiest displays I'd ever seen, and I was really, really happy for Ray Bourque. I reminded myself that the Devils had just won the Cup the year before, and it was just time for Raymond to have it. At the time, I was still pretty sad, but I look back on it now and think that it was great for hockey history. I'm cool with it.
timmae: If you had to pick an Original Six team which would it be and why?
Toronto. They seem to have very passionate fans (not that most of the other Original Six's fans don't), and I've always thought that they deserve more success than they've had recently. I hate the Rangers and Red Wings, so I couldn't choose them. Boston is boring. Montreal created Patrick Roy, so screw them. The Blackhawks would be an option, but since the franchise folded in 1997, I guess they don't count anymore.
timmae: Can you measure the true value of a man by how many hockey sweaters he owns?
Well, you can't measure his complete value, but you can find out whether he's worth anything at all. Considering that I own four hockey sweaters, I think I'm probably worth around $27.95 plus any applicable fees and taxes.
Shorty3281: How has David Alan Grier affected your life?
He came over to my house and punched out my wife's cat. The cat's doing fine, though.
Shorty3281: Do you believe in clutch?
No, I drive an automatic.
Shorty3281: And finally, if a man who can't count finds a four leaf clover, is he lucky?
I think so, because he has no idea how little money he makes.
Dodgerchick: How much money have you gotten from people to watch you type? If no money, how much booty?
I've gotten six dollars worth of booty. Are you offering either? If you're offering, I'll take either one.
MizzouRah: Hottest actress?
Catherine Zeta-Jones.
M GO BLUE!!!: You ever been in a cockpit before?
No, but I'll go in if you go with me.
timmae: Have you ever worn a bow tie?
No, but if you send me the bow tie, it'll show up in a set of Pumpy Pix!
timmae: Why is a 2x4 not 2 inches by 4 inches?
My doctor says that it's EXACTLY 2 inches by 4 inches. Oh, you're talking about something else, aren't you?
tucker rocky: Family Guy or Simpsons?
Simpsons. I've only seen one episode of Family Guy, and it didn't do anything for me. Then again, I haven't seem The Simpsons in about 10 years, but at least I used to watch it regularly. There's one more thing that The Simpsons had going for it: None of the main characters looked like a scrotum.
tucker rocky: Favorite pick-up line?
"Come over here and show me that g-string up close."
tucker rocky: Worst?
"Come over here and give Daddy a Pap smear."
Maple Leafs: Which version of the In Living Color theme song is your favorite?
Considering that there's clearly only one version, I'm gonna have to go with the second one.
Groundhog: Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
I've wondered the same thing. At first I thought it was because I was carrying bird seed around, but no. It turns out that I was actually carrying fish food. So then I thought maybe it was because I smelled funny, but no. I smelled like jelly, so everything was fine. It took me several years, but I finally figured out the answer. Birds suddenly appear every time I am near because my stupid cousin thinks he's playing Duck Hunt, and he keep shooting the little bastards out of the sky. I am getting sick and tired of going anywhere with my cousin.
timmae: Can we please have a pumpypic?
Sure. Give me a minute.
terpkristin: You're originally from Louisiana, right? If yes, what's it like to now live in a locale where it snows in the winter (well, most winters anyway)? If no, where are you originally from (because I really thought it was the southeast...)?
Yes, I'm a native New Orleanian. I don't know how to handle the snow or the cold weather. I wrecked my car into a guardrail last March because the car slid in the snow. Yesterday morning, I spent 45 minutes trying to get my car door open, as it had frozen shut. I used an entire 25-pound bag of rock salt on a 30-foot length of sidewalk/walkway because I didn't know how much was too much. It's still a learning experience for me. I haven't even seen "real" snow yet. People around here tell me about the storm that dropped 2 feet of snow on the city a few years ago. I've been whining about 3 inches of snow.
albionmoonlight: What has been the hardest thing about leaving New Orleans?
The hardest thing has been leaving my friends behind. Pretty much everybody I work with is at least 20 years older than I am, so we don't have very much in common. In contrast, most of the people I knew in New Orleans were much closer to my age, or at least we had similar interests. I really didn't think that I'd be here for a year and a half and not really know anybody in the area, but that's how it's turned out. I don't really have time or many chances to meet new people, so it's different for me. I miss my friends.
albionmoonlight: What has been the best thing about leaving New Orleans?
The best thing has been seeing my wife so happy. She loved New Orleans, but she was a student and uncertain about her future. Now, she's finally doing what she wants to do. Besides that, I'm glad to really experience another part of the country. I'm seeing mountains and snow and people who grew up in a different way than I did. It's all a learning experience for me, and I'm happy to have the opportunity to enjoy it. Another thing is that I'm happy to see New Orleans from a distance. I gained a new appreciation for the city after I left. I became more proud of my hometown than ever after I left (even before Katrina), and I might have missed that if I had never gone anywhere.
Eaglesfan27: What do you miss most about New Orleans?
I miss the activity. At least before Katrina, there was always something happening. I'm not a party guy or anything, but if I ever got bored in the house, I could jump in the car or hop on the streetcar and just go do something. I could go to a concert or a ball game or just walk around Canal Street and buy random stuff from one of the many stores there. It's not the same here. Maybe it's like that in Pittsburgh, but that's 35 miles away from me. In Greensburg, it's basically the mall and Wal-Mart. There seem to be "dark" periods here when nothing is going on, and I haven't adjusted to that. If I get bored in the house now, I get confused. I don't feel like I can just go anywhere and let the activity find me.
Antmeister: I seem to remember that you moved away from New Orleans a while before Katrina hit. Do you think that was a blessing (since you were able to avoid it with your immediate family) or a curse (since you were away from the family your grew up with)? And how is the family doing overall?
albionmoonlight: How has your family done since Katrina?
First of all, thanks for asking. I'll never forget the post I made on FOFC right after Katrina hit. I wrote it because I was so concerned about my family. At that time, it felt like a tremendous curse that I had left weeks before that disaster. I know that it's a blessing now. My wife and I had spent months trying to figure out how we were going to start our lives in an unfamiliar place. It would've hurt us badly to have that anticipation derailed by the storm.
My family has resettled and everyone is doing quite well. My mother is near Lafayette, LA, and she's doing fine. I don't know if she'll move back to New Orleans, but she's happy right now. She has other family members near her, and that gives them all something familiar to make the transition easier. My father is just outside Atlanta, and I'm almost positive that he won't be moving back to New Orleans. He really has nothing to go back to. He was retired from his job, and he lost many of his possessions in the flooding. He seems happy in Georgia, however, and he's expressed that he's really getting into photography. He's been a camera buff since before I was born, but now he has time to really explore it. I have one other family member to mention, but that connects to the next question.
Antmeister: Do you have any siblings?
Yes. I have a sister who's 21 months older than I am. She lives in Louisiana with my mother. She finished her English degree from the University of New Orleans at the end of 2005. Katrina was rough on her in that way because it turned her final semester upside-down. She had to take the rest of her classes over the Internet, and nobody at the university was really sure of how to run an entire curriculum that way. From the accounts I've heard, UNO did an excellent job with it, and my sister didn't have to wait any longer to graduate. She'd been going part-time for 8 or 9 years, and I'm sure that she was ready to get it over with.
albionmoonlight: How do you see the recovery happening, based on what friends and family tell you?
I know that it has a long way to go. If I had to go by some of the stuff I've seen on TV, I'd think that New Orleans was all rebuilt and it's back to its old self. Mardi Gras is coming up, and there'll be shots of people crowding the French Quarter. During Saints games on TV, you'd see a party going on right outside the stadium. It looks great. Then I talk to people in other parts of the metro area, and I hear the real stories. I hear about the traffic. I hear about some of the places that still haven't reopened. I hear about places that might never reopen.
On the bright side, it sounds like things are improving, and I'm glad to hear that. I was afraid that the place might end up bring practically abandoned, but people love New Orleans too much. The recovery will take several years, but it's still happening at a much faster pace than I expected. Honestly, when I saw pictures of the worst flooding, I thought that the place would be uninhabitable for at least a couple of years. New Orleanians are a resilient bunch, though, and they weren't going to go down that easily.
Antmeister: What exactly is your real name? I just remember Cyril is part of your real name, but I don't know if that is your first or last name.
stevew: Do people call you Short Tircuit?
Dodgerchick: How does it feel to be heir to Triscuit crackers?
Hi, I'm Cyril Tircuit. Nice to meet you! "Short Tircuit" is a new one to me. People actually do mispronounce my last name all the time, so I'm surprised that nobody came up with that before. It's actually pronounced "TER-kweet" and that just freaks people out. I've heard all kinds of variations of my name: Triscuit, Tricou, Tancit, etc. I have a very unique name, so I'm not surprised by anything people come up with anymore.
Eaglesfan27: I know that there were some challenges in moving from NJ to New Orleans when I did so, what has been the biggest challenge in moving from Louisiana to Pennsylvania?
Thankfully, the biggest challenge is over. The biggest challenge was finding a job. I was really comfortable at my job in New Orleans, and I still don't know if I'm going to get that comfortable at my current job. At least I finally have one, though. I was getting really tired of temporary assignments, and I was getting deathly close to applying for jobs that I really didn't want, just out of desperation. My current job isn't ideal, but it's a pretty good paycheck for the work that I do.
wade moore: What do you really do at the Coal Mine?
I'm a purchasing clerk. I hate using the word "clerk" to describe my job because it's not really very descriptive. Basically, though, I sit in an office and process the orders that come from our coal mines. A large portion of my work involves keying in the stuff that the mines received, although I help with analysis of the sales figures, and I also help the accounting department. It's a lot of repetition, so it gets boring at times, but I'm learning something about coal, so I guess that's something.
Desnudo: Why a coal mine?
Because the karaoke bar wasn't hiring.
cartman: Is another day older and deeper in debt really all you get for sixteen tons at the coal mine?
Nope. That's not all. You can also get about $10 and black lung. Yes, sir, you are thisclose to being a coal whore.
Antmeister: How did you end up in your current job? Are you still working around a lot of coal dust?
This is an easy question. Temp agency. The agency had me working at a bank in a locked room with 8 women. While it was hard to leave that, the drive was too long and it didn't pay enough. I begged the agency to get me out of there, and they placed me at the coal company. I am still around a lot of coal dust because the papers I process come directly from the coal mines. It doesn't even faze me anymore. To be honest, I don't even notice it. I have to literally remind myself to wash my hands thoroughly before I eat lunch because I don't even realize how much of that junk is on my hands.
Antmeister: What were the most difficult times of your life?
Watching my parents argue with each other. They separated when I was about 12 years old, and that was one of the happiest times of my life, just because I knew that they shouldn't be living together. My home was miserable in the years leading up to their separation, though. I love my parents, but I would always cringe when Dad walked in the door from work, because I didn't know if or when the arguments would start. It was almost every night, and the evenings usually ended with my dad sitting in front of the living room TV and my mom crying in the bedroom. My sister and I spent a lot of time consoling her, and that wasn't very easy for children of our age.
Antmeister: If you could hold a Poloroid snapshot of your most fondest memory, how would you describe the picture?
I remember the rainy night in May 2002 very well. It was my graduation from college. I know that my family has been proud of me since I was born, but I had everyone in my family pose with me and my diploma, and there was a visual sign of that pride that they'd had all along. I was the first male in my family to graduate from college, and I'll always remember that as an event that I could share with my entire family. They earned it as much as I did.
Eaglesfan27: Who has been the most influential person in your life to this point?
Definitely my wife. She has encouraged me to do each positive thing that's happened in my life in the past 8 years. If anything has turned out well for me, it's because she's helped me keep my drive to do it. She's not doing it just to look like "the good wife." She listens to my concerns and gives me very level-headed encouragement. She really thinks it through and knows exactly how to motivate me. I wouldn't be half the man I am without her.
Antmeister: How did you get with your woman?
Internet. Seriously. I don't know how many of you are familiar with MOOs (MUD Object Oriented), but they're like text-driven virtual environments. Some people use them for roleplaying games, others use them for education, and others just use them to chat. I became friends with a guy who ran one, and his best friend just happened to be the woman who would become my wife. I helped him run the MOO, and he introduced her to it. She and I started chatting with each other, and that eventually led to her visiting me from Memphis. I was nervous as hell for various reasons, but she was really cool about the whole thing, even though she was travelling 400 miles and staying with a strange guy's family for a week. The first meeting went well, and then she came back again a couple of months later.
We knew that we wanted to be together, but it was still a long-distance relationship, and we didn't want to do that. She was about to graduate from the University of Memphis, and she was researching graduate schools. Tulane had an excellent computer science program, so she applied. Obviously, she got in, but she was also offered a four-year fellowship, so the university paid her to be a student there. She got to move to New Orleans, and we got to be together. Five years later, we got married, and we're coming up on our third wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks.
wade moore: I believe you've implied that your wife is the so called "bread winner" for the family, has this been a difficult thing to handle?
Perhaps I'm giving myself too much credit, but I don't think it's been difficult at all. It was really only difficult during my job search because I felt that I was putting a lot of financial pressure on her. Now that I'm working, everything seems great. I'm extraordinarily proud of her, and I couldn't possibly have any bad feelings about her success. I think it's fantastic.
stevew: How annoyed are you with constantly having to tell/correct family/friends back home that your wife works at Seton Hill, not Seton Hall?
For years, my co-workers in New Orleans knew that I'd be moving because my wife would find a teaching job. They were just waiting to find out where she'd be working. When she finally accepted the position, I broke the news to everybody. I mentioned the school, and so many of my co-workers said stuff like, "Wow! That's a pretty big school! They have a pretty good basketball team, don't they?" Well, um, yeah, Seton Hill does have a pretty good basketball team... for a school that just left the NAIA this year. It never really sunk in to everybody that it was Seton Hill until I bought a Seton Hill t-shirt and wore it at work. When they saw a griffin instead of a pirate, I think they finally got the point.
Antmeister: I always got the sense that you were never happy with the way your future career came out. Am I wrong about this? And if so, what is your dream job?
You're absolutely right. I enrolled at the University of New Orleans with three choices in mind: computer science, psychology, and electrical engineering. Communications was something that hit me at the very last minute. I'd spent years watching SportsCenter all night, and I thought that I wanted to be on television. Things looked promising in my first couple of years at school. I was excelling in my classes, and I was learning a lot (both in class and on my own) about mass media. I thought things would work out beautifully.
I had been working in a hat store in the French Quarter since the year before college. I left that job to take an internship at the local NBC affiliate. I got placed in the sports department, and I really thought that things couldn't get better. I was naive enough to think that maybe I could come out of the internship with a job offer. Well, silly me. I still had more than a full year of school to go, and even though I did well at my internship, they certainly weren't looking to hire me to do part-time work. I was very sad to leave the station because I really found a new love in editing. It's not exactly my "dream job" to be a video editor, but I would absolutely love to do that for a living.
Anyway, after leaving the station, I sat unemployed for a couple of months. I decided to go to a temp agency because I wanted to work. The hat store had closed, and I didn't want to do retail again anyway. The temp agency gave me a typing test, which was way too easy for me. I got placed at a ship supply company as a data entry person. The ship supply company worked around my class schedule and made me feel very comfortable. I started to earn more respect there as time passed, and I moved from just being a keyboard jockey into a person who did all kinds of projects for the company. It was good for me, but it ultimately locked me into being an office worker. That's where I was gaining work experience, and as time went by, my internship at the TV station seemed to be less and less important. I went from being fresh out of an internship to being an office worker who slummed in a newsroom "a couple of years ago." It probably wouldn't mean much to a station manager, especially in a decent-sized market like New Orleans.
Now it's been almost 7 years since that internship, and it's essentially meaningless now. I don't remember how to work the editing equipment, and I'm far enough removed from my communications studies that the concepts of proper design and photojournalism techniques don't come naturally anymore. I have to spend too much time thinking about it, and sometimes, I feel like I'm just guessing. Looking back on it, doing creative work for television seems like a cute idea for me, but I don't think anybody would give me a chance now.
I guess I feel like I took all the right steps - going to college, graduating magna cum laude, doing the internship - but I let the opportunity slip through my fingers. I can't turn back the clock and really push hard for that dream of working in television when it would've been more practical. If I decide that I really, REALLY want to do it, I'm pretty much going to have to start from scratch. Sure, I have this degree, but I still feel like I'd have to take some additional classes or something just to figure out how things work now.
Antmeister: Any plans on having children in the future?
None at all. Neither I nor my wife is interesting in having children. We both recognize that we just don't wish to turn our lives over to children. I hope that doesn't sound terrible. It's a wonderful thing when people have children and become good parents. My wife and I just recognize that there's a massive commitment involved with having children, and it's something that we've decided we don't completely want to do. It would be a terrible disservice to a child if either parent wasn't 100% committed to being a parent (and far too many kids have had to deal with that problem), so we aren't going to do it. I have nothing against people who want to have children, nor do I have anything against children. We just feel that it's not right for us.
Antmeister: Being another person in an interracial relationship, did you find that you had to adapt to your spouse's culture, or were you cultures similar based on the area you both resided in?
I don't think there was much adaptation needed. I admit that there was a little bit, but it wasn't anything life-changing. Our cultures were very similar, but I think that it has to do with both of us coming from very accepting families, and we'd both had interactions with different types of people.
Antmeister: Would you say you are extroverted or introverted in your real life persona?
On the surface, probably introverted. I'm not exactly shy, but I know that once I get rolling, I can be a little off-putting. My sense of humor is certainly unlike most others, and many people need time to get used to that. Not to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but I'm a pretty nice guy, and once people see that, they're cool with everything else. So, basically, I reel things in during my first couple of meetings with somebody. After that, the gloves are off and I'm about as extroverted as they get.
terpkristin: What's a question that hasn't been asked here that you "hoped" would get asked (and what's the answer)?
I think I'd hoped for a question about being homeschooled. Maybe not enough people know about that.
My mother started homeschooling me and my sister halfway through my sixth grade year. We went on Thanksgiving break at our school and never went back. My mom took over. I think she knew that something needed to be done, as I was regularly coming home saying, "I'm not learning anything at school." What parent wants to hear that every week from a 10-year-old? She figured that she could do a better job herself, and I think she did.
I think if people here knew or remembered that I was homeschooled through my high school years, I might've gotten a question about it. I know that a lot of people worry that kids don't develop very good social skills if they're homeschooled. I don't know if that happened to me or not. My concern was that I wouldn't be prepared for college. I didn't know anything about a classroom atmosphere (at least not at a level above sixth grade). I ended up doing quite well in college, though, so it worked out fine.
Eaglesfan27: Which superhero is your favorite?
I don't know a whole lot about superheroes, but I have always wished that I was the Flash. Remember, that's "Flash", not "Flasch."
Draft Dodger: What kind of dork names himself after a punter?
At least I didn't name myself after Sean Landeta. Now THAT would be sick.
Logan: How long you planning on keeping the 'stache? Do you get compliments on it? Awkward stares? Fits of jealousy?
I'm going to keep this thing forever. Occasionally, I shave it off when it's getting out of control, but that's just so it can come back stronger than ever. I have gotten tons of compliments on it. Hell, I don't even need to keep the thing very neatly trimmed. It just needs to exist, and it's suddenly a conversation topic. Yes, there have been awkward stares and fits of jealousy, although I'm not sure if those are from the moustache or if they're from the feather boa.
albionmoonlight: What are your top five favorite video games of all time?
This is a tough one for me. I've been playing video games since 1980, so I've played hundreds upon hundreds of games. In no particular order, I'm going to go with Football Manager 2006 (haven't gotten into 2007 yet), MVP Baseball 2005, NFL Blitz (arcade version), College Hoops 2K7, and Civilization II. I'm all about sports, even though I play a few different types of games.
albionmoonlight: What's your favorite meal?
Hamburger and fries. I keep it basic. I'm happy with a burger place or a pizza place. I do eat other things, and I appreciate them, but for me, there's nothing like a really good hamburger.
stevew: How's the Pittsburgh food, as compared to New Orleans. I know they make a mean po' boy there, but I've heard good things about Primanti's and several other pittsburgh locations.
To me, every sandwich around Pittsburgh is "just a sandwich" to me. I mean, it's no different than something I could make with stuff out of my refrigerator. A real New Orleans po' boy, on the other hand, is special. It's irreplaceable. Primanti's is OK, but I wouldn't go out of my way to have it. I also can't manage to say "hoagie" with a straight face, so that makes it hard to order food around here sometimes. Maybe if I try some type of "authentic" Pittsburgh food, I may understand it better, but for now, I've basically just been limited to the sandwiches. I do intend to travel into Pittsburgh several times just to eat, and maybe I'll learn more about it.
albionmoonlight: What is it like being married to a professor? Do you ever have to go to department parties as arm candy? If so, do you wear your cereal killer t-shirt?
It's weird seeing the "other side" of college. I still remember what it was like to be a student, and I really had no idea what professors go through. Now I'm hearing about it all the time, and I almost feel guilty about things I used to do (showing up to class late, occasionally ignoring homework, not asking for help when I really needed it, etc.). I have been to a couple of parties with her, and I am definitely arm candy. What's funny is that I'm a t-shirt-and-jeans guy, but I try to dress it up at least a little bit when we attend one of these things. She insists to me that I can dress however I'd like, but I don't listen to her. Of course, for me, dressing up is wearing a polo shirt and jeans, so it's not really that different.
As far as the Cereal Killer t-shirt goes, that's pretty much reserved for bowling night and Pumpy pics now. I don't wear it much otherwise.
albionmoonlight: Where is the most interesting place that you have ever been?
I haven't been to too many places, so this answer is an easy one. The most interesting place I've ever been to is Las Vegas. As someone who doesn't travel a lot, I felt like I was in another world. I didn't leave the Strip in my entire week there, so I know that there were tons of things I didn't see, and I really only got the "gambling tourist" experience, but it was great. I felt like I was living in a movie, just from all the lights and sounds.
Draft Dodger: How tall are you?
I'm only 5'4". :(
duckman: Do you comb your mustache while at the dinner table?
Absolutely not. I have employed the services of a young Vietnamese woman named Monica and a Brazilian man named Luciano, however. They not only comb it, but they also shampoo, blow dry, and cuddle it. They're starting to ask for too much money, though, so I think I'm gonna have to cut these bitches off. If anyone else wants in on this, there just might be a job available for you soon!
duckman: What is the best prank you have ever pulled off?
This might be hard to believe, but I'm not much of a prankster. It requires too much planning, and I usually just improvise. In fact, the only prank I've ever pulled (and it wasn't really a prank) was getting my mother-in-law carded at a casino a couple of years ago. It wasn't anything that I'd planned very far in advance. She and some other family and friends were in town for my wife's graduation from Tulane. We had all spent the day together, and it just suddenly occurred to me that my mother-in-law would flip out if she got carded. Nobody would ever mistake her for being under 21 (or even under 51), so it was quite a shock to her. As I said, though, it's not really much of a prank. The only reason I remember it is because I managed to get our entire group in on the gag without her finding out about it. That was quite a feat considering that this group of about 8 people never separated from each other all day.
duckman: Do you sing (or hum) Coal Miner's Daughter while at work?
No, I don't. That's a pretty good idea, though, since I already wear a Loretta Lynn wig at work. Why didn't I think of this?
duckman: Do you use the 2nd lane when going through a two-lane drive thru?
I've never been to any place that has two lanes. I find that concept to be very, very strange.
st.cronin: Complete the analogy - Tom Brady : Football :: ___________ : Hockey
Brian Gionta. Nobody's prettier than Brian Gionta.
Axxon: Why won't you fix my food processor?
Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm not Batman?
dawgfan: Just who is Batman?
Some white dude sitting on a bench eating a Snickers bar, if I remember correctly.
terpkristin: Why Batman?
Because the karaoke bar wasn't hiring.
Dark Cloud: Did you know that Prince invited to the Florida A&M Marching 100 (who actually have like more than 100 people) to perform with him at half-time in the Super Bowl?
I did.
Dark Cloud: Don't you think that they should move the event to New Orleans and call it the Bayou Classic presented by the NFL, just for this year?
Florida A&M has nothing on New Orleans' St. Augustine High School band. If they'd get the St. Aug Marching 100, then I'm with you. Since it's just FAMU, though, nah, let's not even involve New Orleans in this.
Dark Cloud: Is America ready?
That's an excellent question. Here's the checklist. If America can answer yes to four out of these five questions, then America is ready:
1. Can you chew gum?
2. Do you want some fish sticks?
3. Do you have at least 512MB of RAM?
4. Are you going to tell anybody about this?
5. VELVEETA!!!
duckman: Have you ever taken someone (or been taken) snipe hunting?
Goodness, no. That would drive me up a wall.
miked: Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford?
Brad Pitt knows how to crash the net, but Harrison Ford is much more defense-minded. Since I'm a defense guy, I'm going with Ford.
albionmoonlight: If you could sit down and have a beer with three people from history, who would you pick and why?
In no particular order:
1. Harold Lloyd. I love physical comedy, and he was one of the best at it. I'd love to be able to ask him exactly how he developed his skill and style. I'd also love to find out what he found funny about himself.
2. Richard Pryor. First of all, my dad used to look like Richard Pryor, so I think it'd be kind of neat to see the resemblance in person. More importantly, Richard Pryor brought so much of his life into his comedy, yet I never found him to be typecast as himself in his movie roles. He could have easily been Silly, Foul-Mouthed Black Guy in every movie he did, but he was dynamic, more than most people might realize. I would have loved the opportunity to just sit with him and hear him tell a story. He could've just read his autobiography and I'd have been drawn in.
3. Al Davis. I wouldn't say anything to him. I'd just hit him and run.
vtbub: Who are your comedic mentors?
Antmeister: Since you have a unique sense of humor, I want to know who are your favorite comedians or even favorite comedic movies?
I've already mentioned Richard Pryor. Other favorites are George Carlin, Lewis Black, and Chris Rock. It's funny that I have no interest in politics, and some of their humor (most of it in Black's case) comes from politics. I think I like that they all take real situations and find jokes about them. I don't mean real situations like going out on a date or going to see a movie, but really specific events.
For movies, I mentioned Harold Lloyd and physical comedy before. I love movies like Airplane! and The Naked Gun series. Mel Brooks movies are good, too. I love sight gags, and movies like those work for me.
Eaglesfan27: Who is your favorite musical artist and why?
Antmeister: What are your favorite genres of music?
My favorite musical artist is Weird Al. Yeah, yeah, I'm probably too old to call him my favorite, but he makes me laugh, and he puts on a hell of a show. If you want my attention, make me laugh. He does it every time. Besides that, I'm a big Sevendust fan, and I hope to see them in concert someday. I'm not sure why I'm a big Sevendust fan. I guess it's really as simple as the fact that I love their sound.
I can listen to almost any type of music. Country music never really clicked with me, but most other stuff works. I don't really know if something like Sevendust is considered "hard rock" or "alternative" or whatever, so I guess I'd say to find the alternative station on your radio and that's going to be my favorite stuff. I'm a big fan of '80s pop music, too. I can listen to rap music, but I like it more if it's funny in a way. The sillier it is, the better. I don't know why I prefer rap music to be silly, but I do.
Also, REO Speedwagon is the BEST THING EVAR.
Antmeister: Any school related stories that you think is worth sharing?
I probably have quite a few, but I don't have any really GREAT ones (at least not that I can remember right now). I'll just connect this to the last question. In a freshman visual design class, the instructor was a man about 35 years old. Most of the students were about 18. I was 20. The instructor made an REO Speedwagon reference, and I said, "That's awesome." All the students looked at me like I had three heads. I asked, "What? Am I the only REO Speedwagon fan in here?" I instantly lost all of my "cool points" in that class. From that point forward, I knew that the girl with the curly hair would never love me.
Antmeister: What is the secret behind the happy-go-lucky attitude?
It's a cliche, but life is short. I try to find fun in any situation. I'm a goofball. I'll usually just say whatever goofy thing comes to my mind, and it just loosens me and everyone else up. I'M LIKE A FREAKIN' ELIXIR, MAN!
Antmeister: Were you a stunt double for Prince in Purple Rain?
Prince was my stunt double, actually, but thanks for asking.
Antmeister: Did you play any sports growing up?
I've never been very good at sports, as much as I love them. The highlights:
In fifth grade, I played basketball. I was last on the depth chart. I was behind the kid who needed braces on his legs just to be able to walk. I'm not trying to make fun of the kid here, but HE NEEDED BRACES TO WALK. He couldn't run, and he couldn't dribble, and he was ahead of me on the depth chart. I only played in two games all season, and I only touched the basketball once. I recovered a loose ball, didn't know what to do, and just hurled it down the court. I don't even remember if anyone caught it. In the other game I played, I went into the game as we were inbounding the ball. The defense put one guy on the inbound man and double-teamed each of our two best players. That meant that they had 5 defenders covering 3 players. You know who was left? Me and the kid with the braces. We were completely undefended. Completely. The pass went to the kid with the braces who caught the ball and instantly fell over, dropping the ball and turning it over.
In sixth grade, I played flag football. The coach drew up a play specifically for me. I played in one game. He sent me in with the play. The quarterback told me to block instead. The QB threw a touchdown pass to some other kid on that play, I came out of the game, and I never played again.
The next year, I played baseball. I had an injured throwing arm and could only throw the ball once a day. I'm not kidding. Once I threw the ball, my bicep hurt so badly that my arm went totally limp. I loved baseball, so I kept going to practice, but I didn't have a position. They tried me in the outfield, but my arm didn't allow that to happen. They tried me at second base, but I had trouble fielding ground balls. They tried me at first base, but I was scared of getting smacked by line drives. Like football, I appeared in only one game. They put me at shortstop. I played two innings, came up to bat once, grounded out, and never played again.
cartman: How do you handle that T.O. has replaced Pumpy Tudors as Tenn.-Chattanooga's most famous football player?
I've never heard of this "T.O." person, nor has anyone else in Chattanooga. Just trust me on this one. He doesn't exist. It's all Pumpy, all the time. Pumpy's a state trooper in Tennessee now. You won't see your precious " T.O." doing that.
Dodgerchick: When are Pumpy Pix coming back? Who the hell cares what Hell Atlantic says, those pictures made my day.
Antmeister: Why did you stop posting the Pumpy pics?
You mean Hell Atlantic isn't the person who decides what's proper for FOFC? Why didn't you people tell me this earlier?!
st.cronin: Would you adopt me?
Yes, but BRING SKITTLES, especially my favorite flavor!
sachmo71: Do you know that I find you oddly attractive?
Of course.
dawgfan: What's your favorite story to tell about yourself?
Sadly, there are far too many for me to pick one, and this whole thing is getting too long as it is. I'll have to find some random threads to slip my stories into, so you'll have to check EVERY THREAD ON THE BOARD for a Pumpy appearance. That's your assignment!
rkmsuf: Can you fix me up with Tanya? She sounds incredibly sensuous.
I can try. I'll ask her about it as soon as she's done flossing. Well, I guess she'll have to change the filters in the forklift when she's done flossing, but you get the idea.
dangarion: How much of your board persona is an act?
Believe it or not, none of it. This is me. I'm more reserved when I'm at work, but that's just because I'm surrounded by older people. I'm still silly, but I tone it down. FOFC is one of the places where I completely let go and be myself. When I'm posting here, I really love being me. It's a lot of fun.
bbor: How did your lunch meeting with the accountant go?
Honestly, I think I enjoyed it more than she did. I left with a smile, and all I remember her doing was quivering and sweating on the floor, trying to remember where she'd put her shoes, and singing some Sarah McLachlan song. I HATE Sarah McLachlan.
bbor: Is it true that if i put a piece of coal up my ass for long enough it will turn into a diamond?
Up my ass? Yes. Up your ass? I think it might just turn into a tortilla.
Draft Dodger: if you could make your own custom user title, what would it be?
Kitchen Bitch.
ISiddiqui: Do you normally hide in the basement of your office?
Every single day.
KWhit: If you could know the exact date and time of your death, would you want to know? Why or why not?
I think I would. I'd want to prepare my family and friends for it, even though that would be a very difficult and heart-wrenching thing to do.
duckman: Did you put a lump of coal in someone's stocking this past Christmas?
Well, I just happen to have a lump of coal right in front of me, but I only have one. I couldn't figure out who to give it to, so I just kept it for myself. I'm trying to get my hands on some more, and I'll be sure to think of you when the holidays roll around!
st.cronin: Would you like some onion rings?
OK, but they'd better not be that stupid strawberry flavor that you like so much.
Raiders Army: What current Raiders player would you want playing for the Denver Broncos?
If you'd asked me that last year, I'd say Shane Lechler. Now I'll go with Ronald Curry. I really think that he doesn't get enough credit. He's not a top-notch receiver, but for some reason, I've thought that he could be really good with the right team. I wouldn't mind seeing the Broncos give him a shot.
Senator: What is the biggest lie you ever told?
Well, this isn't going to be some big revelation or anything life-altering, but it's the truth. I've known one of my friends for about 18 years now, more than half our lives. I actually have him convinced of the following things:
- I'm from Saskatchewan
- I was in an improve comedy troupe known as the Security Envelopes when I was 6
- I appeared on "The Tonight Show"
- I had a guest appearance in an episode of "Martin"
In the first several years that I knew him, he didn't really ask anything about my life, but we were just teenagers. One night, he asked me to tell him more about myself, and I was trying to joke with him, but he was buying it the whole time. Now, 10 or 11 years later, he really believes all of this. It started as a joke, but now he's spread the story around to his mother and some of his friends, and I've played along. He has absolutely no idea that none of those things are even close to being true.
rkmsuf: Unlimited wealth or unlimited sex with Kathy Griffin?
In my mind, I imagine that Kathy Griffin has the unlimited wealth, so I think I can easily have both.
Eaglesfan27: Why do you have an infatuation with Kathy Griffin? Which show best utilized her talents?
Since I'm being honest, I might as well go all the way with this. The whole Kathy Griffin thing only started because I was trying to think of a name that would look really out of place in the "Hot or Not" polls. I didn't want to pick somebody old because that would be too easy. I didn't want to pick somebody who looked completely gross because then it wouldn't sound sincere. Kathy Griffin looks just barely good enough to think that someone might seriously nominate her, yet she obviously doesn't look good enough to finish ahead of anybody in the polls. It was a perfect balance. Of course, now that I've pushed that snowball down the hill, I've actually started to like her more and more. Silly me.
I loved her as the voice of Alice in the "Dilbert" animated series. She made that character come to life, man!
Dodgerchick: If you met Kathy Griffin what would you say to her?
"I would love to cover you in peppermint extract and take you to an Arena Football game. If you cheer for the Predators, I'm going to kick your shapely little ass. Watch yourself."
MIJB#19: Despite hanging out for so long at FOFC, you said you hadn't been in a multiplayer FOF league until last December? What kept you out of it? What do you think of your first experiences so far (okay, it's only live draft, but still.. http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/images/smilies/smile.gif)
I just doubted whether I'd really be willing to put forth the commitment to do it. Also, the lack of password protection in FOF2004 had me a little concerned about it. I'm not sure what I think of my first experience yet. I almost feel like the draft has been a crapshoot for me. I'm not sure if I have any vision when I'm building my team. I think it's going to be more fun once the games actually start.
st.cronin: Did you have a nickname in college and what was it? I'm guessing "onion rings".
You guessed wrong. It was "Chocolate Washout."
MikeVic: What is your favourite sports "group nickname?" By that I mean a group of players that are sometimes referred to a collective name. Lines in hockey have this sometimes, as do parts of baseball lineups and football teams.
Easy one for me. The "Crash Line" of the 1994-95 Devils.
Honolulu_Blue: Why the New Jersey Devils?
Honolulu_Blue: Favorite Devil of all time? Least favorite Devil of all time?
Pyser: will you ever like colin white?
Pyser: how did you end up liking the devils? if youre from nj, why the devs over the flyers/rangers depending on which part of the state youre from? what year did you start following?
This is going to seem really strange, but I became a Devils fan for one reason and one reason only: #1. Sean Burke. I don't know why, but when I was about 12 years old, he was my favorite player, and since he played for New Jersey, I became a Devils fan. He's not my favorite Devil of all time. That prestigious honor goes to Scott Niedermayer. I love Scott Stevens, but Niedermayer just seems to be one of those guys who does everything right. I never, ever, ever worried about him when he was on the ice. I was sad to see a lot of other good players go, but none hurt more than Scott Niedermayer heading west, especially considering that nothing could have kept him in New Jersey any longer. I understand that he wanted to go play with his brother, and he went to a very good team, but I wish he could've been convinced to stay in New Jersey.
My least favorite Devil is easily Colin White. I've already written an essay on FOFC about my problems with Colin White, so I won't repeat them here. I can only say that he's the opposite of Scott Niedermayer to me. While I never worried about Niedermayer, I am constantly worried about White. He's not a terrible hockey player. He's not the worst player on the current Devils roster (Hi, Erik Rasmussen!), but I still cringe whenever I see him on the ice. No Devil has made me cringe that much since Mike Peluso, and that's just because I was afraid of Peluso getting a 5-minute major for spearing somebody with his hair.
I've been following the Devils since the late 1980's. It was hard to really follow them for a few years there because I didn't get to see much hockey on TV, but I caught up around 1992 or 1993, and I've been really hooked ever since.
bbor: Did you cry when Scott Stevens retired?
What do you mean? Retired? He's not coming back for the playoffs? :( :(
bbor: Did you cry when Scott Neidermeyer left?
Yes, I did. And I think his mother is a bitch.
bbor: How does it feel to still be paying for Alex Mogilny?
The Devils are so embarrassed by him that they're making the fans pay part of his salary. I still owe the Devils $20 for this shit.
Pyser: most hated hockey team?
Easy. The freakin' Rangers.
Draft Dodger: Were you happy for Ray Bourque winning the Cup, even if it meant beating the Devils?
You know, I was really pissed off when Joe Sakic picked up the Cup that night, but the anger washed away when he handed the Cup to Bourque. That was one of the classiest displays I'd ever seen, and I was really, really happy for Ray Bourque. I reminded myself that the Devils had just won the Cup the year before, and it was just time for Raymond to have it. At the time, I was still pretty sad, but I look back on it now and think that it was great for hockey history. I'm cool with it.
timmae: If you had to pick an Original Six team which would it be and why?
Toronto. They seem to have very passionate fans (not that most of the other Original Six's fans don't), and I've always thought that they deserve more success than they've had recently. I hate the Rangers and Red Wings, so I couldn't choose them. Boston is boring. Montreal created Patrick Roy, so screw them. The Blackhawks would be an option, but since the franchise folded in 1997, I guess they don't count anymore.
timmae: Can you measure the true value of a man by how many hockey sweaters he owns?
Well, you can't measure his complete value, but you can find out whether he's worth anything at all. Considering that I own four hockey sweaters, I think I'm probably worth around $27.95 plus any applicable fees and taxes.
Shorty3281: How has David Alan Grier affected your life?
He came over to my house and punched out my wife's cat. The cat's doing fine, though.
Shorty3281: Do you believe in clutch?
No, I drive an automatic.
Shorty3281: And finally, if a man who can't count finds a four leaf clover, is he lucky?
I think so, because he has no idea how little money he makes.
Dodgerchick: How much money have you gotten from people to watch you type? If no money, how much booty?
I've gotten six dollars worth of booty. Are you offering either? If you're offering, I'll take either one.
MizzouRah: Hottest actress?
Catherine Zeta-Jones.
M GO BLUE!!!: You ever been in a cockpit before?
No, but I'll go in if you go with me.
timmae: Have you ever worn a bow tie?
No, but if you send me the bow tie, it'll show up in a set of Pumpy Pix!
timmae: Why is a 2x4 not 2 inches by 4 inches?
My doctor says that it's EXACTLY 2 inches by 4 inches. Oh, you're talking about something else, aren't you?
tucker rocky: Family Guy or Simpsons?
Simpsons. I've only seen one episode of Family Guy, and it didn't do anything for me. Then again, I haven't seem The Simpsons in about 10 years, but at least I used to watch it regularly. There's one more thing that The Simpsons had going for it: None of the main characters looked like a scrotum.
tucker rocky: Favorite pick-up line?
"Come over here and show me that g-string up close."
tucker rocky: Worst?
"Come over here and give Daddy a Pap smear."
Maple Leafs: Which version of the In Living Color theme song is your favorite?
Considering that there's clearly only one version, I'm gonna have to go with the second one.
Groundhog: Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
I've wondered the same thing. At first I thought it was because I was carrying bird seed around, but no. It turns out that I was actually carrying fish food. So then I thought maybe it was because I smelled funny, but no. I smelled like jelly, so everything was fine. It took me several years, but I finally figured out the answer. Birds suddenly appear every time I am near because my stupid cousin thinks he's playing Duck Hunt, and he keep shooting the little bastards out of the sky. I am getting sick and tired of going anywhere with my cousin.
timmae: Can we please have a pumpypic?
Sure. Give me a minute.