How would you react?

[Vince]

So recently I broke up with my girlfriend. There was a plethora of reasons, but the straw that broke the camel's back was regarding her Birthday Present. People have had wildly differing opinions on this story, so I was curious as to what you all thought.

I got her an iPod Shuffle, because she has been getting back into working out a lot, and I knew she wanted one. A few days after giving her the gift, she gave it back to me, and asked her to get a different one instead...she wanted one that was engraved.

Personally, I thought that this was completely uncalled for, and quite hurtful. Basically, "Hey, why don't you take this back and get me something better?" Am I way out of line with that reaction?

I'm perfectly happy with my decision, and this is in no way an attempt to ease my conscience or anything, I'm just curious as to how you all would react.

[Icy]

"That's pretty bad, but not break-up worthy."

I think it's a bad behavior form her, when you are given a gift, i find it hardly polite to ask for a change (unless we are talking of clothes and she doesn't fit in them).

Even if you ask for a change, you can do it in a lot of different ways, from "Hey darling, i love the present you gave me, but what do you thin kabout changing it for a better model, blah blah" to "I don't like this at all, get me a better one!". I don't know which formula did she use so that is more for you to consider.

Even finding it disgusting, i wouldn't breakup with a woman only because that, but if the situation was bad before, then anything could have been that breaking reason.

[Danny]

You should have had it engraved with the following "Here is your fucking engraved Ipod, now get the hell out".

[lordscarlet]

I think if there were previous things you probalby had the right reaction. That's some bullshit right there.

[Lorena]

I think you have every right to be pissed at her and yes, enough to break up with her. I mean the odacity.

Has she done stuff like that in the past? It wouldn't surprise me if this wasn't the first time.

[stevew]

Yeah, I'm sure there were red flags before, but this would be a good signal that it's time to bounce. Unless of course, she hinted to the fact that she wanted the engraved one, and perhaps you were oblivous. But that still doesn't make it to where she should return a gift like that.

[Schmidty]

So recently I broke up with my girlfriend. There was a plethora of reasons, but the straw that broke the camel's back was regarding her Birthday Present. People have had wildly differing opinions on this story, so I was curious as to what you all thought.

I got her an iPod Shuffle, because she has been getting back into working out a lot, and I knew she wanted one. A few days after giving her the gift, she gave it back to me, and asked her to get a different one instead...she wanted one that was engraved.

Personally, I thought that this was completely uncalled for, and quite hurtful. Basically, "Hey, why don't you take this back and get me something better?" Am I way out of line with that reaction?

I'm perfectly happy with my decision, and this is in no way an attempt to ease my conscience or anything, I'm just curious as to how you all would react.


From what you said, it seems like it was a superficial relationship to you (even though you might not realize it now). You'll realize that pretty soon.

If it was the love of your life, or even someone worthy (to you) of serious commitment, then you wouldn't even be posting this.

It just sounds petty on both sides. Which is cool, since you obviously didn't value the relationship that much.

My bottom line: Meh.

[bulletsponge]

i cant make a certain response unless i see her in skimpy workout outfit.

but Dannys response would have been mine "Here is your fucking engraved Ipod, now get the hell out"., cept i would have added the word B*tch in there somewhere

[GoSeahawks]

Break up with her. If she does something like this even once it says a lot about her character. How long had you two been dating?

[DougWyatt]

From what you said, it seems like it was a superficial relationship to you (even though you might not realize it now). You'll realize that pretty soon.

If it was the love of your life, or even someone worthy (to you) of serious commitment, then you wouldn't even be posting this.

It just sounds petty on both sides. Which is cool, since you obviously didn't value the relationship that much.

My bottom line: Meh.

ding, ding, ding.

[Rizon]

Why would you engrave an ipod? For security or something?

You engrave jewelry, not Walkmans.

[wade moore]

I think if there were previous things you probalby had the right reaction. That's some bullshit right there.

QFT

None of your options really fit. I'd say "Pissed Off. Enough to break-up if there were other red-flags"

[Mustang]

Is an engraved one really any better?

If she wanted it engraved - From Vince, Happy Birthday or her name on it for security reasons, I don't think it is the most horrific thing in the world.

Now, if engraved ones are only available in upgraded more expensive ones.. ya.. that's pretty shitty.

[rkmsuf]

there has to be more to the story

[gottimd]

How would you erect?

[FrogMan]

Why would you engrave an ipod? For security or something?

You engrave jewelry, not Walkmans.

LOL! I just had a flashback vision of my old yellow walkman. Yep, never would have engraved it... :D

FM

[Ksyrup]

Engraving an MP3 player? That's almost as bizarre as asking the person who gave you the MP3 player to have it engraved. Seriously, that's bizarre, IMO. Maybe you should get her a dozen roses instead and have them "engraved" with her name...by a blowtorch.

[KevinNU7]

If all she wanted was engraving then that is fucked up. What a bitch. If you say got her one with 10MB and she wanted 30MB and asked you for the receipt so she could return it and put the extra money in herself to upgrade then I wouldn't have a problem.

[wade moore]

FWIW - I think if you order an iPod from apple.com they do engraving for free...

I think I saw that somewhere, but i'm not sure. FWIW - Not only is mine not engraved, it would be pretty stupid since it never leaves it's case.

[Ksyrup]

I guess I applaud Apple for turning a next-generation cassette player into a status symbol of the highest order. Unbelievable.

[Passacaglia]

Yeah, wade is right -- engraving is free if you order from their web site (my mom did that when she ordered one as a gift). You can probably just take it to Things Remembered and get it engraved for 10 bucks, but that's beside the point.

How did she react when she first got it? Did she mention engraving then? I wonder if she found out about the free engraving a few days later, when showing it off. Pretty weird.

[wade moore]

Just checked..

http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/AppleStore.woa/wa/RSLID?mco=9EF35B65&engr=9EF35B65

Yup... you can get it engraved for free...

Again, not my thing, but in fairness to Vince's ex, it wasn't her crazy idea - it was Apple's.

[ISiddiqui]

By itself, it's bad, but not break up worthy. Though as the "straw that breaks the camel's back", I can definately see it being the final blow.

[Ksyrup]

Maybe you should get it engraved with "Tommy Hilfiger" and give it back to her. Then she can nail two status symbols at one time.

[KWhit]

Key question: What did she want engraved on it?

[rkmsuf]

she obvoulsy wasn't hot otherwise suck it up, you would

[ISiddiqui]

Key question: What did she want engraved on it?

"I dated Vince, and all I got was this iPod Shuffle"

;)

[Desnudo]

Eh, get over it. You're better off not dating a girl who wants an engraved i-pod. It sounds like it gave you the exit strategy you were looking for anyway.

[BrianD]

I guess I applaud Apple for turning a next-generation cassette player into a status symbol of the highest order. Unbelievable.

You are just noticing this now?

[CU Tiger]

I guess it wouldnt have even phased me. It sounds so immature, I woudl replied, go ahead and get it engraved yourself.

If you guys had a good functional relationship, she could have just said "I really want this engraved, lets go to[blah]...

The fact that something as trivial as a gift could cause a break up is proof positive that it wasnt a serious relationship IMO.

[BrianD]

I have known a bunch of women that would probably do this. It isn't a whole lot different than returning a gift to get something else especially since the engraving is free.

I don't think that women should be this way (and I was lucky enough to find one that isn't...yet), but it seems at least not uncommon.

[Ksyrup]

You are just noticing this now?

I've got 3 MP3 players, none of which is an iPod (I went with sound quality) and my kids are still very young. So no, I really had very little idea they were such status symbols. I figured everyone had an iPod for 2 reasons: (1) the great job Apple did with marketing all of the accessories for it; and (2) the iTunes link. I didn't realize iPod was the new iZod.

[Passacaglia]

I've got 3 MP3 players, none of which is an iPod (I went with sound quality) and my kids are still very young. So no, I really had very little idea they were such status symbols. I figured everyone had an iPod for 2 reasons: (1) the great job Apple did with marketing all of the accessories for it; and (2) the iTunes link. I didn't realize iPod was the new iZod.

That's what they WANT you to think! I think you'll find that the more research someone does on the subject, the less likely they are to get an iPod.

[Ksyrup]

That's what they WANT you to think! I think you'll find that the more research someone does on the subject, the less likely they are to get an iPod.

That's how I ended up with the MP3 players I have now.

[BrianD]

That's what they WANT you to think! I think you'll find that the more research someone does on the subject, the less likely they are to get an iPod.

Care to put a guess on what percentage of MP3 player purchasers do any amount of research? I'd bet it was a very low number. I'm not sure if it is the status symbol aspect or just the fact that iPod seems to have become synonymous with MP3, but I'd bet the vast majority buy iPods without even giving much thought to other options.

[Ksyrup]

I have to admit, the number of accessories almost got me to buy one. When I bought my Zen Micro, I couldn't even get a wall charger for it for a couple of months, let alone some of the nice car accessories and such that you can get for iPod. Still, the more I read about the sound quality versus other players, the less the accessory convenience meant to me.

[DanGarion]

I pods are pieces of shit, just like those that want them. booya!

[TroyF]

Buh Bye.

Seriously, I really wouldn't have needed a lot of other red flags.

I'd probably have been a first class smart ass. I'd have gotten it engraved with something like "Now there is writing on the thing, are you happy now?"

Then I'd give it to her and tell her to take a leap.

[Passacaglia]

I guess I don't get why it had to be a DIFFERENT one. Can't you take the same one and get it engraved?

[MizzouRah]

What a beotch!

Could you imagine being married to her? Wow, you bought me a silver Lexus... it's nice, but take it back and get me a black one.

[sachmo71]

The poll options don't really fit the situation, but this would certainly make me question her sincerity. Sounds like it's she pretty spoiled.

[LoneStarGirl]

As a female, I would never ask something like that from my man. On the other hand, I sure would like an IPOD Shuffle (hint hint GoldenEagle)

[finketr]

As a female, I would never ask something like that from my man. On the other hand, I sure would like an IPOD Shuffle (hint hint GoldenEagle)

as long as you don't hand it back to him and tell him you want it engraved. :)

[Groundhog]

I have a friend and a few times he's bought his girlfriend some expensive piece of jewellry or something similar, and she's flatout said she didn't like it and given it back. I wouldn't put up with that personally, but I'm sure lots of guys do. I've been given crappy, useless gifts countless times, but not once have I ever looked or sounded dissapointed.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

You should have got it engraved with a message dumping her for being a selfish little bitch, then given it to her with a loving and tender expression.

[sabotai]

If a chick ever asked me to engrave her iPod, I'd engrave it with her fuckin' head.

[Eaglesfan27]

I gave my wife (girlfriend at the time) a yellow gold necklace once after I had forgotten that she had previously told me that she tends to get skin reactions from yellow gold. That is the only time she has ever sounded disappointed or rejectful of a gift. I would be upset if a GF did what your ex-girlfriend did, but it wouldn't be the sole reason I would break up with her.

[lordscarlet]

I have a friend and a few times he's bought his girlfriend some expensive piece of jewellry or something similar, and she's flatout said she didn't like it and given it back. I wouldn't put up with that personally, but I'm sure lots of guys do. I've been given crappy, useless gifts countless times, but not once have I ever looked or sounded dissapointed.

I don't think there's anything wrong with speaking up if a gift isn't any good, but engraving?

[zums]

I got my girlfriend a pink Ipod Shuffle for Valentine's Day as she is beginning to get back into working out "because I want to stay hot for you". Got it online from the Apple store. Engraved w/ an inside/personal quote that fits our relationship. Was pretty much the perfect gift... huh. YMMV I guess.

[Groundhog]

I would be upset if a GF did what your ex-girlfriend did, but it wouldn't be the sole reason I would break up with her.

It would be a pretty major issue for me, and even if it wasn't the sole reason for me breaking it off with someone it would certainly change the way I think of them and no doubt lead that way anyhow.

[Groundhog]

I don't think there's anything wrong with speaking up if a gift isn't any good, but engraving?

Sure, if it's like a bowling bowl with your partners name on it or a pair of socks or something, but I'm talking about gifts that probably seemed like a good purchase to the person that bought it, not gifts that were just bought without thinking.

[Greyroofoo]

I would've gotten her an engraved mp3 player with somebody else's name on it.

[Groundhog]

Or engrave it with iDumped or iSingle.

[cthomer5000]

QFT

None of your options really fit. I'd say "Pissed Off. Enough to break-up if there were other red-flags"

Yeah, it's not enough on it's own but it's like 90% of the way there.

[bignej]

"Break up with her. If she does something like this even once it says a lot about her character"

This sums it up perfectly. Just like the Lexus comment someone else made. I was always taught that anything someone gives is something you didn't have yesterday. Some people(namely some wives and g/f's) feel a sense of entitlement that seems to grow every valentine's, birthday, christmas etc. I think you made the right decision because this seems like the type of girl that will never be happy. She'll want to upgrade the engagement ring before she's married. She'll want a new car every year. She'll give he ipod back because it wasn't engraved.

[Easy Mac]

Take it back and order an engraved one from apple

http://www.thefishofdeath.com/files/ipod.PNG

[Groundhog]

The worst present I ever got was from an ex of mine. I'm sure she meant well, but from memory this guy never even played for the Cavs:

http://tinyurl.com/2sbcap

[terpkristin]

Vince, first off, sorry to hear about your breakup. I mean, I do think in the long run, from what you've mentioned here, it will be better off, but I know it always sucks in the first part..

If there had been a storm brewin', this would have EASILY tipped the balance if it were me and a significant other. It seems really shallow and greedy to do something like that, and not something I'd be looking for in a signifcant other.

Good luck, I think you did the right thing (and if you're ever in the Ashburn area... ;) )

/tk

[bulletsponge]

"Break up with her. If she does something like this even once it says a lot about her character"

This sums it up perfectly. Just like the Lexus comment someone else made. I was always taught that anything someone gives is something you didn't have yesterday. Some people(namely some wives and g/f's) feel a sense of entitlement that seems to grow every valentine's, birthday, christmas etc. I think you made the right decision because this seems like the type of girl that will never be happy. She'll want to upgrade the engagement ring before she's married. She'll want a new car every year. She'll give he ipod back because it wasn't engraved.

you forgot "she wont be in the mood unless she gets a new shiny piece of jewelry". trust me, women like this are out there

[Young Drachma]

That's what they WANT you to think! I think you'll find that the more research someone does on the subject, the less likely they are to get an iPod.

I'm on my 4th one and never bought an iPod. No subscription service for Itunes, so....no get me as a customer.

[Young Drachma]

Yeah, I'd get away from this one.

[Logan]

I got my girlfriend a pink Ipod Shuffle for Valentine's Day as she is beginning to get back into working out "because I want to stay hot for you". Got it online from the Apple store. Engraved w/ an inside/personal quote that fits our relationship. Was pretty much the perfect gift... huh. YMMV I guess.

But there's a difference. You chose to go that route. Vince chose to get her an ipod, presumably because it's something she wanted. He may have bought it from one of the 3 million places you could buy it besides the Apple store, so the automatic engraving isn't an option. To ask a gift to be returned because it's lacking an engraving is ridiculous. That's basically saying that, for some reason, you need the comfort of the engraving, or you think the only way it shows the giver "meant" it is because of some etched words. It falls along the lines of "I need a dozen roses on V-day because it means you love me."

Now if Vince said, "Here's the Ipod you wanted...I didn't get it engraved because I was lazy," yeah, she might have a reason to be upset. But I don't think that was the case here.