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View Full Version : So I Picked Up a STD Today...


Tigercat
03-23-2007, 12:57 PM
Over the past year or so, I have noticed that I had not been too productive with the little free time that I tended to have and so have been looking to pick up a woman on the side to fool around with. I've always been somewhat interested in learning how to play my skin flute with others and while my first choice wouldn't be plausible where I live (a girlfriend) I have still had a little fascination with prostitutes. Because I do not know whether this would end up with merely a temporary STD or something I genuinely will enjoy having for the rest of my life, I did not want to spend too much money at all so decided to instead of going to the local message parlor, just wait around and see if I could find a good deal online.

A friend directed me towards what he said was a pretty good value the other day and I went ahead and pulled the trigger. I've held a boob in my hands a couple times in my life and am literally starting with just about zero knowledge. I have no doubt that the journey on trying to get comfortable and playing with even the most willing of women is going to be long and frustrating but I think it is going to be a good experience overall and I am just hoping I learn a thing or two in the process.

I already have done a search on this forum and read through a few of the previous discussions so I know we have a few STD carriers here. Any wise words of advice to a complete newbie? I don't plan on doing anything serious with it but I see myself scratching for about an hour or so a day and I am hoping that after some time I can just see some reduced redness. I recieved the STD from the girl this morning and have already started fooling around with the a new hooker who was packaged with her. (Two for one Lenten special!)

Oh, and this is the girl I got the STD from:
http://www.iwouldpostaninappropriatelinkherebutiamtoodelicateforthebannedbox.com

Solecismic
03-23-2007, 01:00 PM
A for effort, about a C- for delivery. I'd suggest going to the local parlor and asking the proprietor for recommendations on local professionals who give lessons.

Tigercat
03-23-2007, 01:01 PM
A for effort, about a C- for delivery. I'd suggest going to the local parlor and asking the proprietor for recommendations on local professionals who give lessons.

Everyone has to do one around here eventually, I was just feeling extra jovial today for some reason, so what the hell.

Young Drachma
03-23-2007, 01:30 PM
lol'

twothree
03-23-2007, 01:57 PM
I just recently did the same (decided to pick up a disease), but I chose the measles. Good luck.

Subby
03-23-2007, 02:07 PM
GUITAR AND STD DO NOT RHYME

Tigercat
03-23-2007, 02:09 PM
GUITAR AND STD DO NOT RHYME

What am I, Dr Suess?

Leonidas
03-23-2007, 02:11 PM
I'm guessing this thread is one of two things:

a) Satire, and if so, pretty lame satire at that

b) Serious, in which case, you are well and truly F'd, in more ways than one.

Ksyrup
03-23-2007, 02:11 PM
Subby and STD rhyme, though.

Hmmm....

Tigercat
03-23-2007, 02:21 PM
I'm guessing this thread is one of two things:

a) Satire, and if so, pretty lame satire at that

b) Serious, in which case, you are well and truly F'd, in more ways than one.

You can't get me down! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! :cool:

cartman
03-23-2007, 06:03 PM
I've always had a hankerin' to pick up a case of the vapors or consumption.

Karlifornia
03-23-2007, 07:43 PM
I thought this was decent.

Easy Mac
03-23-2007, 08:06 PM
I thought it was supposed to be "an STD".

Greyroofoo
03-23-2007, 08:30 PM
A for effort, about a C- for delivery. I'd suggest going to the local parlor and asking the proprietor for recommendations on local professionals who give lessons.

I give this critizism (sp?) a D plus. There was a good snide remark made, but the post itself lacked substance. If we're ever to make better parody posters, they must be led in the right direction.

Karlifornia
03-23-2007, 08:36 PM
critizism (sp?)

I give this spelling of criticism an A-

Greyroofoo
03-23-2007, 08:51 PM
I give this spelling of criticism an A-

in honor of your wisdom i will not correct my original post!

M GO BLUE!!!
03-24-2007, 06:05 AM
I thought it was supposed to be "an STD".

That's only when you get it from a girl.

B & B
03-24-2007, 08:42 AM
That's only when you get it from a girl.


http://content.ytmnd.com/content/7/8/a/78a7effd590b1e9d45a3145e06557730.jpg