The suck list..volume 73

[Karlifornia]

1)People on Wheel of Fortune who see a three letter word that starts with "Th" and buy an e. Okay, maybe there are other "e's" in the puzzle, but you know these mental defectives are buying the "e" in "the". You suck.

2)People who either don't understand or don't care about the way a 3 or 4-way stop works. You get there first, you go first. But if I get there first, I go first!! Fucking red octagon....I know you may be too busy drawing on your eyebrows or giving your annoying kid apple juice to pay attention to something like traffic rules, but this isn't very complicated.

3)Frat boys wearing shirts that say "listen to Bob Marley". Yeah, you know all about the struggle. Fuck off, Sigma Cunt. Frat boys listening to Bob Marley is like Orrin Hatch listening to Rage Against The Machine.

4) Cowboy Up! stickers in San Jose. Are you serious? I didn't know your new urbanist condo had a ranch in the back. Dancing to "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" at the Saddle Rack in Fremont on Saturday nights doesn't make you a cowboy.

5) People who use the term "Emo" to describe any kind of rock they don't like. Listen, cockmaster: Nothing is more emo than that shit band Hinder doing "Lips of An Angel".


Feel free to add, or call me a douchebag.

[Fouts]

Where can I find volumes 1-72? :)

[oykib]

6. People on an escalator that's wide enough for two who don't understand the concept "stand lane, walk lane."

7. People who wait to get to the register at McDonald's or other such establishments to start the decision making process about what to order.

8. Chicks who come back to your crib with you and then want to play games like they didn't... oops. Wrong messageboard

[RendeR]

6. People on an escalator that's wide enough for two who don't understand the concept "stand lane, walk lane."



Not to burst your bubble but the safety regs on all escalators state very plainly "Do Not Walk Up or Down the Escalator While it is in Operation."

You're supposed to stand still and let IT move you.

This one gets busted off the list, You're sucking on this one =)

[wade moore]

Not to burst your bubble but the safety regs on all escalators state very plainly "Do Not Walk Up or Down the Escalator While it is in Operation."

You're supposed to stand still and let IT move you.

This one gets busted off the list, You're sucking on this one =)

Then how come the regulations at the metro specifically say you walk to the left and stand on the right?

[wade moore]

Dola:

In fairness, it only implies that you walk to the left. But in only specifically states to not walk against the flow of the escalator:


Tips


Stand to the right, facing forward.
Always hold children by the hand. Don't allow them to sit or play on the escalator.
Check the direction of the escalator before you take the first step. Never walk up the down escalator or vice versa.
Hold onto the handrail to help you keep your balance. Never ride on the handrail.
Stand upright. Never lean on the side of the escalator or sit on the stairs.
Stay clear of moving parts. Keep your hands, feet and clothing clear of the side panels of the escalator. Remember: loose shoe laces, rubber boots and baggy clothes can get caught in the moving parts of the escalator. Make sure you have no dangling clothing or loose shoelaces that could get caught.
Step over the combplate. Always pick up your feet and step carefully on or off the escalator. Never drag or slide your feet off the edge of the escalator. Do not run on an escalator.

[Maple Leafs]

People who come over when I'm waiting for an elevator, look at the button (which is lit up), and then press it again. Yes, thanks, I probably didn't press it right the first time, good thing you were there to back me up.

People who get on an elevator, press the button for the highest floor, stand at the front, and then when the doors open have no idea that maybe somebody behind them might want to get off.

People who get to the bottom of an escalator and then immediately decide to stop and do something. Hey chum, there's a few dozen of us on the way down, how about you step to the side before you look through your baby gap bag.

Anyone in a moving crowd (city sidewalk, busy shopping mall) who stops to do anything. Move off to the side. Bonus points if you stop to talk to someone who was coming the opposite way, so you can cause two pileups at the same time.

[jackyl]

- People who are more concerned about blabbing on their cell phone than silencing their screaming kid in public. You can call them back, I promise. They hear the shrieking of your demonic offspring too, y'know. And yes, we are all staring at you. Surprised? Embarassed? I'm sorry about that. But this is the twenty-first century and you'll sue us if we come over and yell at you directly.

- People who drive fancy cars and take up three or four parking spaces in the parking lot. Look, I'm happy for you that you've reached a level in life where you can drive a Aston Martin or something similarly uppity. Being a self-important douche about it instead of parking all the way in the far back row isn't winning over any of your fellow consumers. Or me, you arrogant DNA receptacle. May gallons of gleaming saliva be affixed to your door handle.

- Mr. Sprint store rep. Believe it or not, if I got off my derriere and drove to your place of employment because whatever idiot I drew in your call center couldn't help me, I need your assistance a lot more than the asshat you're talking to on your Bluetooth about last night's kegger in Grand Prairie. You don't look like a sports agent or a budding financial pinball wizard trying to multitask. You're working in a room with a hostess stand, yellow walls, and a company name on your shirt. And you're not evening taking home tips!

- Diehard thirty-something college football fan with no ties to school. Did you go there? Did you grow up watching Gigantic State with Dad on Saturday afternoons? Are you from State's town? If you answered yes to any of these three questions, congrats. You can tailgate and commiserate with alumni until you croak. If not, peel off that giant leprechaun off the rear window of your primer-spotted Hyundai Excel, please.

[Maple Leafs]

People who come in while you're watching sports and ask:

- "Who's playing?" - If you don't know, you obviously don't care about the game, so stop pestering those of us who do

- "What's the score?" - Wait two seconds and look at the top of the screen

- "What just happened?" - There's this thing called a replay. Shut up and watch it.

- "I don't understand, what was that all about?" - If something confusing just happened, the announcers are going to be explaining it. So be quiet and watch.

- "I thought you were a Leaf fan, why are neither of these teams the Leafs?" (playoffs only) - Don't mock my pain.

[jackyl]

- People that aren't ready at the airport secruity checkpoint. Didn't you notice everyone else in the other three lines are holding their shoes? That doesn't mean we pulled them out of our carry-on bags to show off to each other. And how many times can you possibly forget about every random metal object you have on your person? Here's a thought: pack your bling, don't wear it.

- Overzealous business travellers taking out frustration on ticket agents, here's a giant fuck you from the rest of the gate. I don't care how loud you yell at the lady behind the counter, she's not going to bump one of us nice, quiet people so your caffeine-riddled ass can get to Kennedy by eleven. Go drag yourself and your Blackberry back to the reservation counter. Yes, we all know that you'll have to go through security again. It's been this way for what, six years?

[Atocep]

- People who have 30 items in the 15 items or less lane at the grocery store, have expired coupons, argue that they aren't expired, get pissed and put items back, then write a check to pay. All I want is my fucking chips, salsa, and beer for f*cks sake.

- People who don't discipline their kids, ever.

[Desnudo]

People who come in while you're watching sports and ask:

- "Who's playing?" - If you don't know, you obviously don't care about the game, so stop pestering those of us who do

- "What's the score?" - Wait two seconds and look at the top of the screen

- "What just happened?" - There's this thing called a replay. Shut up and watch it.

- "I don't understand, what was that all about?" - If something confusing just happened, the announcers are going to be explaining it. So be quiet and watch.

- "I thought you were a Leaf fan, why are neither of these teams the Leafs?" (playoffs only) - Don't mock my pain.

Is "people" code for "my wife?" :)

[Lorena]

5) People who use the term "Emo" to describe any kind of rock they don't like. Listen, cockmaster: Nothing is more emo than that shit band Hinder doing "Lips of An Angel".

Ehh... umm... ahem... was this in reference to my calling Linkin Park emo cuz of their new album? Oops, guess I made your suck list.

My biggest one is people who keep their cart in the middle of narrow-ass aisles in grocery stores. For the love of Christ people, please park the damn thing somewhere else will ya? I realize it will "only take a minute" but it's called being considerate.

[Maple Leafs]

Is "people" code for "my wife?" :)
Sort of. But she gets a little leeway because she's a girl. When a guy does this, I just instantly dislike and distrust him. I'm not saying that every guy has to be a hardcore sports fan, just that guys who aren't need to have some idea how to interact with the rest of us.

P.S. How did you know about me and your wife?

[jackyl]

My biggest one is people who keep their cart in the middle of narrow-ass aisles in grocery stores. For the love of Christ people, please park the damn thing somewhere else will ya? I realize it will "only take a minute" but it's called being considerate.

Sort of OT, but what the hell:

My fiancee and I have started playing a game every time go to Wal-Mart. We call it "Big Game Hunter". Anyway, she read on a blog somewhere that each Wal-Mart is issued eight motorized wheelchair carts. On our way there, we'll set up the bet. Beer vs wine, chick flick vs action movie, etc. What we do is count how many scooters are up front, each take a shopping cart, and split up looking for the remaining scooters in use in the store. When we find one, and they look large enough to be shot, we take a camera phone picture and send it to the others' cell phone. The big prize, obviously, is the 400 lb. woman with a basketful of Little Debbies and Skittles.

Sorry. Carry on.

[Jas_lov]

-People who push the Walk button to cross a street and then immediately proceed to cross the street when there's a little opening between cars. Why did you hit the damn Walk button? Now I get to the stoplight and have to wait an additional 30 seconds and there's no one even walking across! Couldn't you have checked the oncoming car situation to see if you could get across before you push the walk button? If you can't, then push it and wait! It's just common courtesy.

-People who talk on their cell phones for a long period of time when they're the only passenger in my car. What am I so boring that you feel the need to have to talk to someone else? What the hell am I supposed to do since you turned the radio down so you could hear the other person? I can't hear the other person so I'm stuck listening to a one way conversation! And don't bitch when I turn the radio back up, it's my car!

[Lathum]

Sort of OT, but what the hell:

My fiancee and I have started playing a game every time go to Wal-Mart. We call it "Big Game Hunter". Anyway, she read on a blog somewhere that each Wal-Mart is issued eight motorized wheelchair carts. On our way there, we'll set up the bet. Beer vs wine, chick flick vs action movie, etc. What we do is count how many scooters are up front, each take a shopping cart, and split up looking for the remaining scooters in use in the store. When we find one, and they look large enough to be shot, we take a camera phone picture and send it to the others' cell phone. The big prize, obviously, is the 400 lb. woman with a basketful of Little Debbies and Skittles.

Sorry. Carry on.

thats awesome

[saldana]

Sort of OT, but what the hell:

My fiancee and I have started playing a game every time go to Wal-Mart. We call it "Big Game Hunter". Anyway, she read on a blog somewhere that each Wal-Mart is issued eight motorized wheelchair carts. On our way there, we'll set up the bet. Beer vs wine, chick flick vs action movie, etc. What we do is count how many scooters are up front, each take a shopping cart, and split up looking for the remaining scooters in use in the store. When we find one, and they look large enough to be shot, we take a camera phone picture and send it to the others' cell phone. The big prize, obviously, is the 400 lb. woman with a basketful of Little Debbies and Skittles.

Sorry. Carry on.
this is possibly the funnies thing i have ever heard....my wife and i will be playing very soon.

[miked]

People who try and use thed U-scan lane in the supermarket with little knowledge as to how it's supposed to work.

I worked in Cambridge near a Star Market that MIT students frequented. You would not believe the fundamental lack of understanding for the operation of this simple invenstion. "I know it works on weight, but I just felt like taking my bags off the scale."

People who crowd around the gate entrance at an airport waiting for their section to be called

If you know you are in zone 7, there is no need to crowd around the line when they are calling zone 3. The plane won't leave without you.

[Lorena]

Sort of OT, but what the hell:

My fiancee and I have started playing a game every time go to Wal-Mart. We call it "Big Game Hunter". Anyway, she read on a blog somewhere that each Wal-Mart is issued eight motorized wheelchair carts. On our way there, we'll set up the bet. Beer vs wine, chick flick vs action movie, etc. What we do is count how many scooters are up front, each take a shopping cart, and split up looking for the remaining scooters in use in the store. When we find one, and they look large enough to be shot, we take a camera phone picture and send it to the others' cell phone. The big prize, obviously, is the 400 lb. woman with a basketful of Little Debbies and Skittles.

Sorry. Carry on.

ROFL... Oh shit, oh shit, this made me laugh hysterically :D:D:D! Good stuff man and yes, the store I was referring to was Wal-Mart.

[Karlifornia]

Ehh... umm... ahem... was this in reference to my calling Linkin Park emo cuz of their new album? Oops, guess I made your suck list.

My biggest one is people who keep their cart in the middle of narrow-ass aisles in grocery stores. For the love of Christ people, please park the damn thing somewhere else will ya? I realize it will "only take a minute" but it's called being considerate.

Asbolutely not...in fact...I'll go ahead and throw Linkin Park on the sucklist. They are the epitome of "Nu-metal" and then they say "On our new album, we will be going away from the nu-metal sound". Then what are their new songs? 100% unadulterated nu-metal!

Never liked them, but now I have reason for them to be on my list.

[Karlifornia]

Sort of OT, but what the hell:

My fiancee and I have started playing a game every time go to Wal-Mart. We call it "Big Game Hunter". Anyway, she read on a blog somewhere that each Wal-Mart is issued eight motorized wheelchair carts. On our way there, we'll set up the bet. Beer vs wine, chick flick vs action movie, etc. What we do is count how many scooters are up front, each take a shopping cart, and split up looking for the remaining scooters in use in the store. When we find one, and they look large enough to be shot, we take a camera phone picture and send it to the others' cell phone. The big prize, obviously, is the 400 lb. woman with a basketful of Little Debbies and Skittles.

Sorry. Carry on.

This is truly amazing. And suddenly I have a big crush on your wife.

[Schmidty]

Karlifornia stole my schtick. Maybe I should bring back my Pet Peeve of the Day threads...................

[Suburban Rhythm]

Most of mine were touched on in other posts, but slightly different.

Work section
-- Smokers who need to light up before they are even out the door (especially at work, with the revolving doors). These are no doubt the same people who stop at the bottom of the escalators.

-- Probably the same people as above...there are 5 elevator banks in my building at work, servicing about 8-12 floors. When the doors are closing, do NOT wave your purse/work bag/lunch/arm/leg/other appendage to jump on that elevator. Honest to God, another will be along in, oh, 30 seconds.

-- People who need to be part of every conversation within earshot. Guy at work who fully admits he has never, ever followed hockey. But felt the need a few months ago to join a conversation and ask "Isn't there some kid on our team who is supposed to be pretty good...I don't know his name?" I live in Pittsburgh...and yeah, there is some Crosby kid who ain't half bad. What did you just add to the conversation?

-- People (OK, same guy as above) who love to use work cliches. Everything he explains, he adds "there are some caveats to this". Anytime we rearrange some responsibilities, he'll give you some time to "get your arms around this." And any explanation he offers MUST begin with "Long story short...".

Public Transportation section
--People who board the bus/subway...and seeing no seats are available, stop right past the driver. Really, it's OK to move back. You can still got off the bus at your stop.
--Also, the people who board the bus, only to exit 2-3 stops later. maybe contridicting my first point, but you don't need to race for the seat in the last row. Even better, walk your fat ass those 4 blocks.
-- People (read women) who feel obligated to a seat. If I see someone who needs the seat way more than me (elderly man or woman, pregnant woman, woman carrying a small child, etc) I always offer. But because you are a middle aged woman who chose to hit the "sales" on your lunch hour and now have to carry 5 bags home, that doesn't make you a special needs group for a seat.

[Surtt]

1. The "intellitxt" popups that are starting to be used everywhere.

I hate those annoying things. It is to the point I have started turning off my Java Script just to get rid of them. I thought we went through this once before with normal popups.

What make them even worse is the way they are used. Why would you put on on generic items like "games?" I know what a game is, I know I can buy them at Amazon, thanks for making your article almost impossible to read, jerk.



2. Xp activation stickers with the code in 5 pt. font. And why make the "8" and the "B" look so smiler. Why make it so hard to read?

[Chief Rum]

6. People on an escalator that's wide enough for two who don't understand the concept "stand lane, walk lane."

People on an escalator wide enough for two that are themselves wide enough for two.

[RPI-Fan]

-- Probably the same people as above...there are 5 elevator banks in my building at work, servicing about 8-12 floors. When the doors are closing, do NOT wave your purse/work bag/lunch/arm/leg/other appendage to jump on that elevator. Honest to God, another will be along in, oh, 30 seconds.

cthomer has already covered this in another thread a while ago. The "Indiana Jones move" IIRC.

[Chief Rum]

People on an escalator wide enough for two that are themselves wide enough for two.

Corollary (work related). Because those fake hallways between cubicles and the stairways at work are just a shade larger than escalators:

You are a wide person for any reason from genetics to hormones to poor lifestyle choices to couch potota laziness (Caddy effect). And/or you have the court vision of Helen Keller (old woman in Arizona effect). And/or you have the inordinate sense of just how to place yourself in the midst of said narrow corridor to inhibit all passage by you (straddling the dashed white line on a two way highway effect). And you're walking so slow you must be counting the fiber lines in the faded, coffee stained carpet that receives half your lunch in crumb form every day.

Get the fuck out of my way. No, I'm not walking too fast. Look around you. It must look like a Benny Hill skit or something to you.

[Chief Rum]

--Young ditzoid girls permanentlky attached to your cellphones, particularly while working out.

Just in general, it's annoying. Sever the cord, girls. It's okay to not have to be talking to someone at all times or to have to drop everything you're doing (you know, driving, responding to the person in front of you, breathing, other noncritical things, etc.) to madly thumb back a response to "heya, kewl chica u think i lk g00d in salmon-mauve heels". I know you're not satisfied with your self image, and it's all my, the straight heterosexual male's, fault. I know you don't think your smart enough to actually enjoy being by yourself alone and not look at it as some social faux pas from which you'll never recover. I know you may be right about that, too.

But when your insecurities means I have to jump out of the way of your uncontrolled vehicle, or wait for your eyes to roll back forward and focus on me, or have to listen to you prattle in speakerphone voice about "what a bitch that tori is"--when it unjstly infringes on me, your cellphone rights mean squat. I don't barge in on your world unwanted, so do me the courtesy of not allowing your inattention and selfishness to barge into mine.

[JediKooter]

2)People who either don't understand or don't care about the way a 3 or 4-way stop works. You get there first, you go first. But if I get there first, I go first!! Fucking red octagon....I know you may be too busy drawing on your eyebrows or giving your annoying kid apple juice to pay attention to something like traffic rules, but this isn't very complicated.




Feel free to add, or call me a douchebag.

To add on to that: The 'drivers' and I use that term lightly, in Cupertino and the surrounding areas doing 10 MPH slower than the speed limit and then running red lights. Look it's obvious you aren't in a hurry, why are you running red lights? And the stop signs, yes, stop means stop, not keep going at a slower speed than normal.

[saldana]

- people that are at my house for whatever social reason, and cannot carry a conversation for more than 3 minutes because they got another text message on their cell phone that they have to answer....if you need to have a conversation, make the freakin phone call, be off the phone in 5 minutes and stop interuppting whatever it is we are doing every 45 seconds.

- the people that drive through parking lots (walmart specifically) who drive down the middle of a row and then curse at me for being in their way....these are generally the same people that cant back out of or pull into their parking spot without pulling back and forth three times, blocking the entire row....also generally the same people that need to swing all the way to the left in order to turn right into a spot, or pull forward into my lane after they back out because they cant turn into their own.....these people are typically driving a hummer or similarly idiotic sized suv (and are the only one in it)

- basically...Walmart, and most of the people that shop there....they act like the meaning of life is on sale inside and there are only 2 copies, so if they dont get there in the next 4.2 nanoseconds, they will have missed it....its freaking walmart for christs sake....they sell cheap, mostly crappy merchandise by the ton...whatever it is you want, they will still have if you wait the extra 3 seconds you will lose by not walking in front of my car without looking to see if anyone is coming when you get to the crosswalk.

[MrBigglesworth]

People that take camera phone pictures of me riding the motorized wheelchairs at Wal-Mart. I have a glandular problem!

[saldana]

People that take camera phone pictures of me riding the motorized wheelchairs at Wal-Mart. I have a glandular problem!

where do you live in PA...i want to know a good spot to start hunting...;) :cool:

[bulletsponge]

People that take camera phone pictures of me riding the motorized wheelchairs at Wal-Mart. I have a glandular problem!

LOL

[Scarecrow]

-People who push the Walk button to cross a street and then immediately proceed to cross the street when there's a little opening between cars. Why did you hit the damn Walk button? Now I get to the stoplight and have to wait an additional 30 seconds and there's no one even walking across! Couldn't you have checked the oncoming car situation to see if you could get across before you push the walk button? If you can't, then push it and wait! It's just common courtesy.

Just to add one along these lines...

People who walk behind you to a street corner, then push the damn walk button right after you do. WTF! Is YOUR touch better than mine? Will it magiclly change if YOU push it as oppesed to me?

[Jas_lov]

Just to add one along these lines...

People who walk behind you to a street corner, then push the damn walk button right after you do. WTF! Is YOUR touch better than mine? Will it magiclly change if YOU push it as oppesed to me?

Exactly, and there's always that guy who keeps pushing it over and over and over as if it will change to walk faster if he keeps doing it forcing all of us to cringe from that high pitched beep. And the person who pushes it and immediately runs across also screws over the pedestrians who are just far enough behind that they arrive at the corner right when it turns back to red and now there's a long line of cars built up so they have to wait as well which always seems to happen to me.

And what about the old guy who leaves his turning blinker on for 10-15 miles or that guy who waits until the last second to merge right in front of you when there's construction? I guess we all could go on and on about driving pet peeves.

[Pumpy Tudors]

where do you live in PA...i want to know a good spot to start hunting...;) :cool:
I don't know where he is, but I'm going to be in Easton in exactly one week. I'll probably only be there for a couple of hours, though.

[Chief Rum]

I don't know where he is, but I'm going to be in Easton in exactly one week. I'll probably only be there for a couple of hours, though.

I would recommend increasing your chances of finding the scooters more quickly by concentrating on the candy section then.

[Atocep]

And what about the old guy who leaves his turning blinker on for 10-15 miles or that guy who waits until the last second to merge right in front of you when there's construction? I guess we all could go on and on about driving pet peeves.

A couple of my biggest driving pet peeves are people who sit in a turn only lane on the highway until the absolute last second and then either cut you off getting out of the lane or slow down until they're almost stopped so they can get over. I also can't stand the people that come to a stop waiting on the perfect spot to merge on the highway.

None of this is even close to how much I hate anything that involves cellphones and driving.

[Maple Leafs]

Another pedestrian annoyance:

Any time there's a group of like four people who are going to jaywalk across a busy road, they all take off and inevitably there's like one guy who starts and then retreats back to the other side. Think about this. This guy apparently thinks there's a decent chance he's going to get hit by a car, which means he thinks there's a decent chance that three of his friends are going to get hit by a car. Yet he just casually strolls back and saves himself. Doesn't even yell "look out" or anything. What a selfish prick.

Not to mention now his friends, who miraculously survived, now all have to stand around and wait for him.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Just to add one along these lines...

People who walk behind you to a street corner, then push the damn walk button right after you do. WTF! Is YOUR touch better than mine? Will it magiclly change if YOU push it as oppesed to me?

To add to the Walk/Don't Walk fun...

I'm not sure if this is exclusive to Pittsburgh or not, but multiple times a day I see this. I really need a diagram, but am too lazy to do that now, so explain it best I can, using the intersection in front of my building- 5th Ave and Grant St.

I'll walk out to go to lunch, and the light is green for cars on Grant, and therefore, WALK for people walking ACROSS 5th Ave, ALONG Grant, if that makes sense.

People will stare at the DON'T WALK not for them, in other words ACROSS Grant, for walking ALONG 5th Ave.

They will see other people heading the exact direction they want to go, but stare intently at the wrong crossing signal.

Inevitably, light turns red/DON'T WALK appears for Grant, turns green/WALK for 5th...and someone will walk into traffic to cross 5th, along Grant. Cars honk, idiot runs back to the corner, perplexed, hilarity ensues.

I see it every morning on the way in, during lunch, and again on the way home. Is this a Pittsburgh special, or anyone else seeing this?

[Dr. Sak]

Why not just jaywalk like everyone else in the city does?

[Suburban Rhythm]

Why not just jaywalk like everyone else in the city does?

That's a given....but mid-day, when all the IROCs are crusing downtown to show off their new spinner rims and sweet T-tops, not as easy.

And there is always traffic at that intersection.

[Atocep]

That's a given....but mid-day, when all the IROCs are crusing downtown to show off their new spinner rims and sweet T-tops, not as easy.

This reminds me. When I was living in San Antonio I once saw what was probably an early 90's Bonneville (I think it was a Bonneville) with spinners on the front and factory rims with no hubcaps on the back. It probably been months since the car was washed, but the spinners sure as were shinny. They must have been working on a payment plan.

I also a guy driving a minivan with spinners. I don't think anything is going to make a minivan with two kids in carseats in it look cool.

Lastly, I was driving behind a guy that had the Escalade ornament (you know, the big round Escalade symbol) on the back of his SUV, but something didn't look right, it looked huge. After a couple minutes I passed the guy and realized he was driving a Trailblazer that he decided to try and convince everyone was an Escalade.

I loved San Antonio.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Two items I forgot the other day--

Work related again- people who refuse to change the water bottles on the dispenser. I get they are like gallons, and awkward to lift and place on there, and by all means would help someone if they requested it.
But I've seen grown men walk over with a water bottle, see it is empty, turn around and head back to their desks. What, not THAT fucking thirsty?

The second one (non work) can be summed up in one word.

HEELYS! FUCK THEM

OK, that's 3 words.

[BrianD]

Work related again- people who refuse to change the water bottles on the dispenser. I get they are like gallons, and awkward to lift and place on there, and by all means would help someone if they requested it.
But I've seen grown men walk over with a water bottle, see it is empty, turn around and head back to their desks. What, not THAT fucking thirsty?


I'm not sure if it has been mentioned already, but people not making a new pot of coffee fall into the same boat. They seem to think that as long as they leave about 6 drops left in the pot that they didn't technically empty it.

[Desnudo]

Sort of. But she gets a little leeway because she's a girl. When a guy does this, I just instantly dislike and distrust him. I'm not saying that every guy has to be a hardcore sports fan, just that guys who aren't need to have some idea how to interact with the rest of us.

P.S. How did you know about me and your wife?

Your wife and me. Sry for the confusion and your wife.

Best

[Mustang]

My fiancee and I have started playing a game every time go to Wal-Mart. We call it "Big Game Hunter".

Have either of you bagged 'Walzilla' yet? :D

[Lorena]

Alright, this one ticked me off today:

People that go in through an "exit" door, and people who exit through an "enter" door. Why? Why do people do this? I went to Wal-Mart today and people were coming in through the exit door. Read the signs people, they're there to direct traffic... learn things.

[MrBug708]

Diehard thirty-something college football fan with no ties to school. Did you go there? Did you grow up watching Gigantic State with Dad on Saturday afternoons? Are you from State's town? If you answered yes to any of these three questions, congrats. You can tailgate and commiserate with alumni until you croak. If not, peel off that giant leprechaun off the rear window of your primer-spotted Hyundai Excel, please.

This one is lame. A degree isn't needed to validate ones love for a sports team

[KWhit]

You guys are all too uptight.

Lighten up, Francises.

[Logan]

This one is lame. A degree isn't needed to validate ones love for a sports team

I think the "did you grow up watching Gigantic State with Dad?" opens up the door for non-alumni to be fans. The Johnny Come Latelys, however...

[nilodor]

Corollary (work related). Because those fake hallways between cubicles and the stairways at work are just a shade larger than escalators:

You are a wide person for any reason from genetics to hormones to poor lifestyle choices to couch potota laziness (Caddy effect). And/or you have the court vision of Helen Keller (old woman in Arizona effect). And/or you have the inordinate sense of just how to place yourself in the midst of said narrow corridor to inhibit all passage by you (straddling the dashed white line on a two way highway effect). And you're walking so slow you must be counting the fiber lines in the faded, coffee stained carpet that receives half your lunch in crumb form every day.

Get the fuck out of my way. No, I'm not walking too fast. Look around you. It must look like a Benny Hill skit or something to you.

The sister to this one. The two large girls walking down the hallway at the U in the oblivious to everyone else formation where one is just close enough to the wall with her bag that is large enough to contain Jimmy Hoffa so you can't squeeze by, then the other one is just far enough away from her partner so you can't squeeze in between them and she is also carrying a large shoulder bag. Bonus points if they also sycronized weave enough so they can make it so the 7 wide hallway becomes impassible.