MJ4H
07-16-2007, 11:10 AM
So I had a best friend in college. I'll call him Tim.
Tim and I were roommates two separate times in college. We had many classes together on purpose, blah, blah. Basically, there was a time in my life where I would have entrusted my life to Tim.
Towards the end of college, Tim joined a band. It was a pretty decent band as those things go, and I enjoyed going to hear him play. Tim and I were both musicians, but I'm not much for the local playing at bars rock band scene so I didn't get into that stuff. Tim was much like me and never drank or did drugs while we were in college. Until he got into this scene.
After graduation, Tim announces to me that he and this group are moving to Bloomington, Indiana where there is a major university and also where they can be within driving distance of several major markets. They picked out Bloomington because of these features. Off they go. He is gone for about 4 years, and I don't hear from him at all.
Now, he eventually shows back up here. I hear from a friend, hey Tim is back in town! Oh cool, let's get together, etc. He is quite obviously a different person. He seems very down, defeated, etc. He says while he was in Indiana, he screwed up pretty bad and had to come home.
What did he do? He won't say anymore. He does tell us he got into some drug stuff and he talks about how knowlegeable he is about drug users in general and he can spot them from this and that and blah blah whatever. I don't care about that stuff so it was weird that he was talking about it. I assumed at this point that he got caught with drugs or maybe even dealing and that was why he came back home.
Due to how much he changed and his new found drug and alcohol friends, we have drifted apart over the last few years. I tried initially hanging around with him again. It was fun mostly, but he was definitely different and I got the feeling he'd rather be hanging around with people that weren't so "square" when he was with us. That's fine. It was still him that initiated most of the time, so I was probably just imagining it.
At this point, it has probably been a year and a half since I've even spoken to Tim. We moved so we have all new contact info and I just haven't really had occassion to call him. Nothing intentional, it just happens, you know how it is.
So this past week, probably Thursday, a friend tells me that she was sent an email. The email contained a news article detailing Tim's arrest in Bloomington. I will include excerpts from this report below.
************
Bloomington police officers arrested a man they say they caught
attempting to rape a woman at her eastside residence Thursday night.
...
The roommate, who had called police on her cell phone outside the
residence, provided a key, and the two officers burst into the
residence, police said.
...
"They got him off of her," Parker said. "She had been struck several
times."
...
The woman told police she knew her attacker, Parker said. ---------
reportedly had been at the residence earlier and told to leave, police
said.
The attack happened when he returned to the home later in the day,
Parker said.
**************
I had only heard that this email existed until about an hour ago. I asked to be forwarded this email, and I just got it. I have since been an emotional wreck. Truthfully, we all suspected it was rape, just because of his secrecy. Almost anything else, I thought he would tell us or at least drop hints. My wife and friends have expressed to me that they were afraid to be alone with him since he got back because they suspected it, too. It's just, far, different suspecting, and even hearing through the grapevine that it was, and receiving a news story showing the details. I sat here at my computer and shook with rage for an hour.
Is this rational, normal? Is this ok? What do I do, here? Stay away from him? I can't believe I feel this way. I am very surprised at how hard this is to handle, basically.
Don't make this a sappy "wow I'm sorry to hear that thread" though. I would prefer a real talk about this. What would you do? Would you talk to him? Would you stay away from him? Is there any rationalization for his behavior where I could say he deserves a second chance? Would you punch a hole in the wall like I feel like I could?
Remember, at many times in my life, I trusted this guy. He has been alone with my wife and my friends. My wife is now scared of him.
Ugh.
Tim and I were roommates two separate times in college. We had many classes together on purpose, blah, blah. Basically, there was a time in my life where I would have entrusted my life to Tim.
Towards the end of college, Tim joined a band. It was a pretty decent band as those things go, and I enjoyed going to hear him play. Tim and I were both musicians, but I'm not much for the local playing at bars rock band scene so I didn't get into that stuff. Tim was much like me and never drank or did drugs while we were in college. Until he got into this scene.
After graduation, Tim announces to me that he and this group are moving to Bloomington, Indiana where there is a major university and also where they can be within driving distance of several major markets. They picked out Bloomington because of these features. Off they go. He is gone for about 4 years, and I don't hear from him at all.
Now, he eventually shows back up here. I hear from a friend, hey Tim is back in town! Oh cool, let's get together, etc. He is quite obviously a different person. He seems very down, defeated, etc. He says while he was in Indiana, he screwed up pretty bad and had to come home.
What did he do? He won't say anymore. He does tell us he got into some drug stuff and he talks about how knowlegeable he is about drug users in general and he can spot them from this and that and blah blah whatever. I don't care about that stuff so it was weird that he was talking about it. I assumed at this point that he got caught with drugs or maybe even dealing and that was why he came back home.
Due to how much he changed and his new found drug and alcohol friends, we have drifted apart over the last few years. I tried initially hanging around with him again. It was fun mostly, but he was definitely different and I got the feeling he'd rather be hanging around with people that weren't so "square" when he was with us. That's fine. It was still him that initiated most of the time, so I was probably just imagining it.
At this point, it has probably been a year and a half since I've even spoken to Tim. We moved so we have all new contact info and I just haven't really had occassion to call him. Nothing intentional, it just happens, you know how it is.
So this past week, probably Thursday, a friend tells me that she was sent an email. The email contained a news article detailing Tim's arrest in Bloomington. I will include excerpts from this report below.
************
Bloomington police officers arrested a man they say they caught
attempting to rape a woman at her eastside residence Thursday night.
...
The roommate, who had called police on her cell phone outside the
residence, provided a key, and the two officers burst into the
residence, police said.
...
"They got him off of her," Parker said. "She had been struck several
times."
...
The woman told police she knew her attacker, Parker said. ---------
reportedly had been at the residence earlier and told to leave, police
said.
The attack happened when he returned to the home later in the day,
Parker said.
**************
I had only heard that this email existed until about an hour ago. I asked to be forwarded this email, and I just got it. I have since been an emotional wreck. Truthfully, we all suspected it was rape, just because of his secrecy. Almost anything else, I thought he would tell us or at least drop hints. My wife and friends have expressed to me that they were afraid to be alone with him since he got back because they suspected it, too. It's just, far, different suspecting, and even hearing through the grapevine that it was, and receiving a news story showing the details. I sat here at my computer and shook with rage for an hour.
Is this rational, normal? Is this ok? What do I do, here? Stay away from him? I can't believe I feel this way. I am very surprised at how hard this is to handle, basically.
Don't make this a sappy "wow I'm sorry to hear that thread" though. I would prefer a real talk about this. What would you do? Would you talk to him? Would you stay away from him? Is there any rationalization for his behavior where I could say he deserves a second chance? Would you punch a hole in the wall like I feel like I could?
Remember, at many times in my life, I trusted this guy. He has been alone with my wife and my friends. My wife is now scared of him.
Ugh.