I don't care what anyone says...

[Karlifornia]

.....after watching the MTV Music Video Awards performance, I would still fuck the shit out Britney Spears. I mean that both literally and figuratively.

[Young Drachma]

I think she might have an opening...

[Groundhog]

http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5648945,00.jpg

Really? I reckon I could head down to my local beach any random sunny summer day, look in one single direction, and spy at least a dozen girls I'd rather hit than the girl in the photo above.

[Karlifornia]

http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,5648945,00.jpg

Really? I reckon I could head down to my local beach any random sunny summer day, look in one single direction, and spy at least a dozen girls I'd rather hit than the girl in the photo above.

Oh, you're just jealous.

Of what, I don't know....but you researched! That means you care! You care about Britney!

[Desmond]

I don't know what's sexier, the backfat, blank stare or ass pimples.

[Karlifornia]

I don't know what's sexier, the backfat, blank stare or ass pimples.

I don't see any ass pimples. So, your question has only two possible answers. My answer is backfat. More cushion for THA PUSHIN.

[Desmond]

Ture story, my girlfriend and I were playing a game of "who would you rather" recently, and it was Britney vs Christina, I chose Christina. Then J-Lo, then Pink, finaly she said "ok, Britney vs Cindy Lauper", and ya know what? It was a much tougher decision than it had any right to be. If I had any inclination that Cindy Lauper was wild in bed I would of chosen her. Sad.

[JeffNights]

I'd still hit it, then again, i do have a lack of standards. :)

i'm a horny bastard.

[WSUCougar]

Really? I think a handful of snakes is hotter.

[dime]

hepatitus booster shot ftw.

[Warhammer]

hepatitus booster shot ftw.

OK, Miss Plastic Fantastic Pam Anderson or Brit?

[cuervo72]

Seriously...read thesuperficial for a couple weeks and you'll be cured of this.

[cartman]

If you would have told any of us back in 1999, when she was prancing around in the schoolgirl outfit, that she would be dancing around wearing next to nothing and showing off a shaved vajayjay, we would have been estatic that our prayers were answered.

The gods are mocking us.

[RendeR]

.....after watching the MTV Music Video Awards performance, I would still fuck the shit out Britney Spears. I mean that both literally and figuratively.


#1 you have zero standards

#2 even with zero standards she's fucking gross

[st.cronin]

If you would have told any of us back in 1999, when she was prancing around in the schoolgirl outfit, that she would be dancing around wearing next to nothing and showing off a shaved vajayjay, we would have been estatic that our prayers were answered.

The gods are mocking us.

+1

[StarBuck]

She looks like a normal, attractive woman, probably somebody you'd watch walk past you. But no, she is not the poptart she once was. Too many Cheetos, RedBulls, frappachinos, vodka and pills.

The performance? Painful. I couldn't watch the whole thing. I'm guessing she's high as hell and doesn't even know her own name at this point.
Fiddy's face in the audience was priceless though.

[cthomer5000]

I'd hit it.

[Lathum]

I'd hit it.

we all would.

It cracks me up everytime a thread like this pops up here and people act like they wouldn't consider "hitting" the girl in question.

[Anthony]

anyone who says they wouldn't bang britney circa last nite's performance - i want you to post a pic of your wife/GF and i will comment if i would hit it. i don't care what state her life is in, her body is still bangable and her face is no worse than an average girl you'd see at a bar. for many of you, banging britney would be the greatest thing to happen to your lives. she's hot. she's not the top 10 hot girl in the entire world that she used to be, but time is a motherfucker and spares no one.

but again, i wanna see some of the trolls you guys are with that your standards are so above britney.

[lordscarlet]

What they said.

[Neon_Chaos]

I would hit it. Oh yes.

[RendeR]

anyone who says they wouldn't bang britney circa last nite's performance - i want you to post a pic of your wife/GF and i will comment if i would hit it. i don't care what state her life is in, her body is still bangable and her face is no worse than an average girl you'd see at a bar. for many of you, banging britney would be the greatest thing to happen to your lives. she's hot. she's not the top 10 hot girl in the entire world that she used to be, but time is a motherfucker and spares no one.

but again, i wanna see some of the trolls you guys are with that your standards are so above britney.


See, knowing you the way we all do, this is just typical. If all it took to make someone fuckable was their appearence then 99% of the women in the world are fuckable. Fortunately for me, I HAVE some standards and when I look at an overused, over drugged, self destructive, wannabe who has no real self respect at all, I simple want to gag.

*I* would not hit it, and IMO if you would you have less taste than most american beer. Then gain, we've read your taste in sexual partners and I hope the pastrami files charges soon.

[cthomer5000]

I'd hit it, then I'd take Render's turn for him as well.

[oliegirl]

I can honestly say that I would not, ever, hit it...even when I thought she was "cute", I still wouldn't have hit it. Angelina...hell yeah. Elle...definitely. But Britney - would never even be tempted.

[cthomer5000]

I will pinch hit for anyone who passes. Just want to make that clear.

[JeffNights]

anyone who says they wouldn't bang britney circa last nite's performance - i want you to post a pic of your wife/GF and i will comment if i would hit it.
but again, i wanna see some of the trolls you guys are with that your standards are so above britney.


BEST. POST. EVER.

[MikeVic]

As a person, yeah, I'd hit it. As a celebrity, there's quite a few there that are above Britney.

[Desmond]

Please, if she weren't a celebrity she'd be the chick on the block who's always getting the cops called to her house because of her erratic behavior and/or drug use, keeps getting knocked up, collects food stamps and walks around town pushing a shopping cart talking to herself. You don't fuck that girl, you make fun of her most of the time and feel pity for her the rest of the time.

[Lathum]

Please, if she weren't a celebrity she'd be the chick on the block who's always getting the cops called to her house because of her erratic behavior and/or drug use, keeps getting knocked up, collects food stamps and walks around town pushing a shopping cart talking to herself. You don't fuck that girl, you make fun of her most of the time and feel pity for her the rest of the time.

if she is hot you fuck her

[Neon_Chaos]

You don't fuck that girl, you make fun of her most of the time and feel pity for her the rest of the time.

See, I'd fuck her, and THEN make fun of her.

[Anthony]

i would fornicate with her. and i would make smooth, caressing love with her if that's what she wanted, and i would allow her to cry on my shoulder.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'd hit a moose.

[StarBuck]

And then she would boil a bunny on your stove when the bottomless pit of neediness became too much for you.

[MikeVic]

I'd hit a moose.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c9/Moose-Gustav.jpg

Hey sexy.

[ISiddiqui]

See, I'd fuck her, and THEN make fun of her.

Bingo! But you don't pass up the chance to hit that... unless there is a burly man with a shotgun who may make things a bit interesting.

[cartman]

I'm not saying that she couldn't get a job at a strip club, it's just that now, instead of dancing during the prime Friday/Saturday night spots, she'd be dancing on Tuesday afternoons when they have the $7.99 prime rib lunch specials.

[Desmond]

hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avigLN1b-bE&NR=1

Seriously, it'd be like having sex with a retarded child.

[Lathum]

hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avigLN1b-bE&NR=1

Seriously, it'd be like having sex with a retarded child.

this is like a license for HA to tee off

[korme]

You guys must be big time because even take away the celebrity and she's still attractive. That picture posted way earlier - back fat, are you kidding me? She seems to have a pretty good body still... bottom line is I've done my share of hotties AND uggos, and Britney definitely qualifies near the upper tier in my book.

[rkmsuf]

I heard Carrot Top and Kathy Griffin got in a fist fight over Britney during the show.

[Desmond]

Her body would be fine enough if she wasn't such a mental and emotional cripple.

[Neon_Chaos]

You guys must be big time because even take away the celebrity and she's still attractive. That picture posted way earlier - back fat, are you kidding me? She seems to have a pretty good body still... bottom line is I've done my share of hotties AND uggos, and Britney definitely qualifies near the upper tier in my book.

Apparently, people have ridiculously high standards. :)

Not me.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, may I do it again?

[rkmsuf]

Her body would be fine enough if she wasn't such a mental and emotional cripple.

oh like you care when you are burying your bone

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'd hit Kathy Griffin.

[rkmsuf]

I'd hit Kathy Griffin.

literally?

[Pumpy Tudors]

literally?
She likes it rough.

[Lathum]

Her body would be fine enough if she wasn't such a mental and emotional cripple.

we're talking about fucking her.

Not talking to her.

[rkmsuf]

we're talking about fucking her.

Not talking to her.

I mean most of us tape their mouth's shut anyway, right?

[Desmond]

Sorry man, I just couldn't get it up for her under any circumstance.

[rkmsuf]

Sorry man, I just couldn't get it up for her under any circumstance.

that can't be true

[cartman]

I mean most of us tape their mouth's shut anyway, right?

I can't really understand what they are saying anyway when they wear the HA mask.

[cthomer5000]

Sorry man, I just couldn't get it up for her under any circumstance.

If that's true then I believe your problem extends beyond you finding her attractive. Seek out a medical professional, and tell them you've heard good things about Cialis.

[Neon_Chaos]

Sorry man, I just couldn't get it up for her under any circumstance.


here's some help hxxp://viagra.com

[Desmond]

You'll all get cock warts. don't say you weren't warned.

[Anthony]

i would think of them more as "genital souveniers".

[Lathum]

i would think of them more as "genital souveniers".

snort

[RendeR]

See, this is the type of conversation that tells me I'm getting old. I don't need to just get laid, I want getting laid to be a really awesome enjoyable experience.

If i were in a room with Twittany I'd vomit, its bad enough that I feel like I need a shower every time there is some 30 second blurb about her on TV.

I've sewn my oats so thoroughly in the past I think I've grown beyond the need for mindless fornication.

Really great sex requires interaction, and frankly, she's a retarded trailer trash wannabe. Its just repugnant.

[Eaglesfan27]

If you would have told any of us back in 1999, when she was prancing around in the schoolgirl outfit, that she would be dancing around wearing next to nothing and showing off a shaved vajayjay, we would have been estatic that our prayers were answered.

The gods are mocking us.

So true.

[rkmsuf]

See, this is the type of conversation that tells me I'm getting old. I don't need to just get laid, I want getting laid to be a really awesome enjoyable experience.

If i were in a room with Twittany I'd vomit, its bad enough that I feel like I need a shower every time there is some 30 second blurb about her on TV.

I've sewn my oats so thoroughly in the past I think I've grown beyond the need for mindless fornication.

Really great sex requires interaction, and frankly, she's a retarded trailer trash wannabe. Its just repugnant.

meh, if she sucked you off you'd love it

[RendeR]

meh, if she sucked you off you'd love it


Am I allowed to put a bag over her face? and she must remain fully clothed....would that work?.....maybe...

[Desmond]

meh, if she sucked you off you'd love it

If you sucked me off I might love it. Doesn't mean it appeals to me.

[RendeR]

If you sucked me off I might love it. Doesn't mean it appeals to me.

God i wish I would think up great lines like that....


WINNER.

[rkmsuf]

If you sucked me off I might love it. Doesn't mean it appeals to me.

that doesn't make any sense. you can get it up for me but not britney.

or maybe it makes tremendous sense.

[lordscarlet]

Hypotheticals about banging chicks should have very little to do with their personality. It's a hypothetical.

[Subby]

I've sewn my oats so thoroughly in the past I think I've grown beyond the need for mindless fornication.
Just a little tip for the kids at home...this is code for "I lost my virginity on my wedding night."

[sabotai]

If I met a chick that looked like Spears, had the same body and face, but wasn't an absolute total whore and mental case, I'd fuck her. If she were a whore and mental case, no, I wouldn't (meaning in real life, there's no way I put that part of my body in harm's way.)

But since we are talking hypotheticals, yeah, I'd fuck her brains out.

[Desmond]

that doesn't make any sense. you can get it up for me but not britney.

or maybe it makes tremendous sense.

You are a sexy man. Don't be coy.

And hypotheticly, I would not want to have sex with Britney Spears anymore than I would want to have sex with your typical 90 IQ, Klonopin junkie with a history of mental disorders, 2 kids she would rather dump off on her nanny so she can go waddle her way thru the nightlife and a rashed gash that looks like she gets her labia tugged out 4 days a week.

[path12]

And hypotheticly, I would not want to have sex with Britney Spears anymore than I would want to have sex with your typical 90 IQ, Klonopin junkie with a history of mental disorders, 2 kids she would rather dump off on her nanny so she can go waddle her way thru the nightlife and a rashed gash that looks like she gets her labia tugged out 4 days a week.

I see you've met my ex.

[Neon_Chaos]

You are a sexy man. Don't be coy.

And hypotheticly, I would not want to have sex with Britney Spears anymore than I would want to have sex with your typical 90 IQ, Klonopin junkie with a history of mental disorders, 2 kids she would rather dump off on her nanny so she can go waddle her way thru the nightlife and a rashed gash that looks like she gets her labia tugged out 4 days a week.

Let us in on the secret... are you K-Fed? :)

[RendeR]

Just a little tip for the kids at home...this is code for "I lost my virginity on my wedding night."



BWAHahahahahAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaHBAWHAHAHAhahah*SNORTS*CACKLESBWAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Anthony]

BWAHahahahahAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaHBAWHAHAHAhahah*SNORTS*CACKLESBWAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

so that's a yes, then?

[Anthony]

put it this way - Britney, as messed up as you all complain about her being, would not trade her life with yours.

[CraigSca]

put it this way - Britney, as messed up as you all complain about her being, would not trade her life with yours.

I admit, I enjoyed that one.

[Desmond]

put it this way - Britney, as messed up as you all complain about her being, would not trade her life with yours.

Oh. In that case I guess I would fuck her.

[jackyl]

I just saw that she's only 25. 25? Hell, if she chains herself to an elliptical machine she'll be back in her schoolgirl costume by Halloween.

[Neon_Chaos]

I just saw that she's only 25. 25? Hell, if she chains herself to an elliptical machine she'll be back in her schoolgirl costume by Halloween.

mmmmmm.

[st.cronin]

put it this way - Britney, as messed up as you all complain about her being, would not trade her life with yours.

Probably true, all evidence points to her not being a good decision-maker.

[Anthony]

I just saw that she's only 25. 25? Hell, if she chains herself to an elliptical machine she'll be back in her schoolgirl costume by Halloween.

shhhhhhhh!

i'm trying to cut down on the competition. the more people who think she's icky the more likely my odds with her.

[Neon_Chaos]

shhhhhhhh!

i'm trying to cut down on the competition. the more people who think she's icky the more likely my odds with her.

oh, I'm right there, bud.

to the back of the line please.

[MikeVic]

that doesn't make any sense. you can get it up for me but not britney.

or maybe it makes tremendous sense.

Watch for the stall foot tap! ;)

[JeffNights]

that doesn't make any sense. you can get it up for me but not britney.

or maybe it makes tremendous sense.


NEW. BEST. POST. EVER.

[KWhit]

Just for the record, I'm with Karlifornia, HA, cthomer, etc.

Let me at her.

[Subby]

She makes 700k a month and has serious self esteem issues.

Yes, I would do her this one favor and fuck her.

[bronconick]

She is definitely attractive if you consider her in the "divorced mother of two" category.

If you're ranking her in a celebrity only list, she probably won't be leading that.

So yes, if I met her at a bar and she wanted to go home, hell yes. Then the next day I'd probably run like hell because she's got issues.
And call her for a booty call in a month or two.

[DeToxRox]

I wouldn't fuck Britney but I would bust one on her face.

[CamEdwards]

Good lord fellas. 85 posts in and not one of you has commented on the fact that Oliegirl admitted she'd get down with Angelina Jolie? There used to be a time when the next ten posts would be variations of "Pixlpsthx,k?".

WTF is wrong with you people? I don't even know you guys any more.

[Desnudo]

I would. I'd rather now than 5 years ago because she's clearly a lot more experienced.

[WSUCougar]

we all would.

It cracks me up everytime a thread like this pops up here and people act like they wouldn't consider "hitting" the girl in question.
Speak for yourself. Is this "stranded for life on a desert island" hit it, or "she walks up to me on the street and offers herself to me" hit it? Because if it's the first case, then yes, and if it's the second, no way in hell. I'm sure I could find a BILLION (that's 1,000,000,000) women on the planet I'd rather do the wango tango with.

[Lathum]

Speak for yourself. Is this "stranded for life on a desert island" hit it, or "she walks up to me on the street and offers herself to me" hit it? Because if it's the first case, then yes, and if it's the second, no way in hell. I'm sure I could find a BILLION (that's 1,000,000,000) women on the planet I'd rather do the wango tango with.

Well it isn't a question of "who would ou rather hit" iits a question of "would you hit it" And I find it hard to believe any straight man wouldn't throw it in her.

[st.cronin]

Oliegirl admitted she'd get down with Angelina Jolie?

Come on, that's like me admitting I like beer. I bet there are more women who would sleep with AJ than women who watch the NFL.

[WSUCougar]

Oh, well damn, I must be gay then!

[CraigSca]

As if Britney would give any of you guys the time of day. Hilarious.

[MikeVic]

As if Britney would give any of you guys the time of day. Hilarious.

But maybe rkmsuf will...?

[Schmidty]

I don't think Britney is even remotely sexy, but if you stupid fucks think she fat, you need to get your fat asses a reality check..

[lordscarlet]

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kPHWLl-BXXY"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kPHWLl-BXXY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[Radii]

I don't think Britney is even remotely sexy, but if you stupid fucks think she fat, you need to get your fat asses a reality check..

+1

[Anthony]

Speak for yourself. Is this "stranded for life on a desert island" hit it, or "she walks up to me on the street and offers herself to me" hit it? Because if it's the first case, then yes, and if it's the second, no way in hell. I'm sure I could find a BILLION (that's 1,000,000,000) women on the planet I'd rather do the wango tango with.

this post and the opinions expressed therein is invalid because you said "wango tango". wanga tango is only 1 step better than "horizontal lombaba". anyone who says that is automatically a homosexual and lover of penis/scrotum.

[thesloppy]

Did you just call Ted Nugent gay?

[Anthony]

btw, instead of ragging on britney and her bad performance, how awful was sarah silverman? i mean, who fills the space between jokes with long pauses and "uh.....wow........this is amazing.....".

i stopped watching the VMA after britney's dance-dance revolution performance, but i overheard some of sarah's dialogue. was it absolutely necessary to go back to the old paris hilton well? paris hilton is so spring 2007. every paris hilton joke that could be said has been said 3 different ways by this point. we've all moved on. what's next? jokes about janet jackson's wardrobe malfunction? sarah silverman needs to start being actually funny and stop pandering to the internet geeks who dig her low-calibre humor just cuz she's cute. did you hear the snores in the audience towards the middle of her dialogue? she slayed the audience all right, if you can consider the audience slitting their own throats slaying the audience.

[Atocep]

I actually agree with pretty much everything HA has posted.

For one, its Britney. At the very least I'd reminisce about Britney 6 years ago as I hit it.

She's still in the top 0.5% of divorced women with 2 kids.

We're not talking about living with her for the rest of your life.

As for Sarah Silverman, if she didn't have tits and a vagina she'd probably be damn envious of where britney is now.

[StarBuck]

Yea, Silverman is annoying. Britney is not ugly or fat, she is an attractive bi-polar chick who is on a downward spiral mentally. Personally I do think she is skanky, but to each his own.

Okay, which one of you Britney loving trannies posted this?
p.s. Love the towel/blanket.

<object height="350" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kHmvkRoEowc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></object>

[Desmond]

For real, whatever that is should be tracked down and put down. No worth to society will it ever bring.

[Karlifornia]

Yea, Silverman is annoying. Britney is not ugly or fat, she is an attractive bi-polar chick who is on a downward spiral mentally. Personally I do think she is skanky, but to each his own.

Okay, which one of you Britney loving trannies posted this?
p.s. Love the towel/blanket.

<object height="350" width="425">

<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kHmvkRoEowc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></object>

If I had any idea that those "Itschriscrocker" videos were like this....I would have watched all of them immediately...That is hilarious!

[Telle]

Just a little tip for the kids at home...this is code for "I lost my virginity on my wedding night."

Ummm.. he was in the navy. Quite the sordid past. If I hadn't been young and naive I would have demanded a shot record when we first got together.

[rkmsuf]

Ummm.. he was in the navy. Quite the sordid past. If I hadn't been young and naive I would have demanded a shot record when we first got together.

We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. There's nothing funny about that.

[cthomer5000]

Did his wife just come defend his manhood on a message board?

[Telle]

Did his wife just come defend his manhood on a message board?

Oh I wouldn't go that far. :)

[StarBuck]

If I had any idea that those "Itschriscrocker" videos were like this....I would have watched all of them immediately...That is hilarious!

Isn't it? I love the blanket over his head while he is filming. Makes me wonder if his parents are home, or he is so upset over her performance fallout he had to throw that over his head to shut out the world.