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View Full Version : I'm a happy (but scared) daddy!


Icy
10-27-2007, 10:53 AM
First why am I happy:

I'm so happy to say that my new son Hector was born on October 25th, two days ago!

My wife was scheduled for Nov 11th but she had labor pains in the October 25 morning. We thought they were the the standard pain you had a few days before giving birth, just the baby getting ready, so we went out for a walk and then to eat at my in-laws. When eating, my wife had more pain, getting stronger and stronger so she told me to go to the hospital as she felt the baby was coming. I thought no way this soon and with her looking this good, but as this is the second time my wife gives birth, she knows better how does it feel (and hurt), so we went to the hospital at 4PM.

When we reached the hospital, the doctors examined my wife and they told us that yes, she was about to give birth, not even time for the anesthesia. They got her into the labor room and allowed me to stay there, and 1 hour and 3 pushes later, Hector was born!! a healthy and heavy weighted boy!

It was amazing, it was my first giving birth experience as i was not allowed to stay inside the room with my first baby a year and a half ago as it required minor surgery and in that case, they kick the father out of the room (and I understand it). We both cried like our just born baby when he was out and we saw he was fine.

I'm really proud of my wife, the doctors are amazed at how she could control the pain to be that close to give birth and still eating with us like nothing, also she never shouted when giving birth without anesthesia, old style :)

Now why am I scared:

As probably most of you know, we had another baby, my daughter Celia, a year and a half ago, and she died after 7 days with us. After all this time, and tons of different tests made, different doctors and laboratories consulted, etc, we still don't know the cause of her early and sudden death. They though on two possibilities, or a really severe infection that was too fast to be detected and stopped or a genetic metabolic disease, as the symptoms are pretty similar in new born babies. All the genetic tests performed in our lost baby organs and cells for over a year were negative but... it doesn't mean that you can be 100% secure as genetic researching is still too new and inaccurate.

If our daughter died by a severe infection, that would be good news into the bad ones, as it's not something that another baby can inherit, but if it was a metabolic disease... it can happen again.

Metabolic diseases are rare genetic disorders that in resume, don't allow your body cells to produce energy from the food, causing all your organs to collapse and finally the death without solution, those disorders have no cure by now, and are too rare for the laboratories to consider it's study (it all is about money as you know).

Sadly over this year and a half, i have learned a lot about those illness, have talked (by email and online groups) with other parents that had similar problems, with tons of doctors, etc so I'm an expert and I have learned it's really difficult to detect those illness before it's too late, as there are tons of different gene mutations that could cause them and that is why unless they know exactly the gene that causes them, it's almost impossible to detect them. Also they are classified as rare illness (less than 1 in dozens of thousands of humans suffer them).

Most of metabolic diseases are genetically inherited with a 25% chance of babies to inherit them if the parents have the muted genes (that we don't know if it's our case or not, as all the tests performed were negative, but negative doesn't mean that you are 100% safe as i said before) and that is why we were scared of having another baby at first, but as it was never proved if it was the cause or not, and as even if it was really a genetic metabolic illness, the chances of having a healthy baby are more than the ones of having an ill one, we decided to take the risk again, as we really want to have a baby and every risk it's worth it.

Right now our baby looks healthy, but until a few days are past, and we can see if Hector is able to metabolize the food by himself, we won't know if he is ill or not. After he was born, he was put under observation as the doctors know our risks. They are performing some daily blood tests to see if he has any problem, and everything looks normal, but the new born babies have still part of the mother blood and enzymes in their body that help them to metabolize the food, so it's early to know if he is doing it all by himself or not.

Hector is going to be under observation until Monday or a few days more, in the mean time, my wife can enter in the new born health care room to feed him every 3 hours, and i can enter to see, touch and hug him twice per day for 30 minutes.

We just came home today as my wife is fine, but it was sad to leave the hospital without our baby, even when we knew in advance that it would be this way. They wait is really hard, it's like spinning the death roulette and waiting days for it to stop and to see where does the ball land. It also brings back a lot of painful memories from our baby lost, as she was into the same recent born high care room (that is said one of the best in Spain) in the last 3 days of her short life, we had the same schedule of feeds/visits etc, so it's impossible to not to remind it.

I stopped to be a believer some time ago for different reasons, but there is something inside of me that in the desperate wait, still wants to ask for prayers from the believers and and thoughts from the non believers, as every help and support is welcome.

We are leaving to the hospital now to feed him again, and will keep every 3 hours until they tell us that the baby observation period is over, on Monday or later, please keep us and our baby in your minds, I also hope that his little sister Celia is somewhere taking care of him.

I'll keep updating you as the effort to write this here, and specially in English, that requires more concentration from me, has helped me already like visiting a psychiatrist. I hope the last update will be that Hector is with us at home, heatly and like any other kid. Then i'll keep being a scared daddy as every daddy is forever, but it will be the same fears that every other parent has, and not the fear i have now.

duckman
10-27-2007, 11:05 AM
You're in my prayers, Icy! Congrats on the new addition!

st.cronin
10-27-2007, 11:08 AM
Great news!

Celeval
10-27-2007, 11:18 AM
Congratulations, Icy... good luck, I'll say a prayer for you and the newborn.

oliegirl
10-27-2007, 11:22 AM
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

JonInMiddleGA
10-27-2007, 11:24 AM
Congratulations and both good luck to you and prayers for you & your family.

MrBug708
10-27-2007, 11:24 AM
Congrats Ivan! Hopefully he'll be an athletic hero in America :)

Hammer
10-27-2007, 11:24 AM
Congrats, all the best to you and your family.

Swaggs
10-27-2007, 11:28 AM
Congrats, Icy! :)

SackAttack
10-27-2007, 11:47 AM
Got your back, Icy.

Best of luck to you, your wife and your newborn.

Eaglesfan27
10-27-2007, 11:53 AM
Congrats Icy! Hector and your family will be in my prayers these next few days.

Honolulu_Blue
10-27-2007, 11:53 AM
Congrats and good luck to all of you guys!

Cuckoo
10-27-2007, 12:04 PM
You and your family have my prayers for the health of little Hector as well, Icy. Congratulations man!

thealmighty
10-27-2007, 12:09 PM
Congratulations!! Prayers and great thoughts to your family.

Now, will it be football or futbol?

JPhillips
10-27-2007, 12:23 PM
Good luck. My brother's youngest was born with half a heart and the waiting for the first few days was really tough. Keep us informed and God Bless.

Deattribution
10-27-2007, 12:33 PM
Congrats and I hope everything turns out well.

DaddyTorgo
10-27-2007, 01:03 PM
Congrats Icy. I'm so happy for you, and I'm praying for things to be okay this time.

Passacaglia
10-27-2007, 01:14 PM
That's awesome, Icy!

cougarfreak
10-27-2007, 01:36 PM
Icy, I had my daughter shortly after you did, and I never forgot reading your posts on here. Thoughts and prayers, and best of luck. And my wife is due in about 3 weeks as well. Sounds like we're on about the same schedule.:)

Warhammer
10-27-2007, 01:51 PM
Congratulations Icy! My prayers are with you and your family that everything is alright.

Your son Hector and my son Alexander share the same birthday.

Maple Leafs
10-27-2007, 03:01 PM
Congratulations, and best wishes on more good news soon.

JeeberD
10-27-2007, 03:07 PM
Congrats, Icy! Your family will be in my thoughts. Best of luck!

Toddzilla
10-27-2007, 03:39 PM
Icy,

I cannot express how happy I am for you and your wife. You have been through a lot, and I pray that your new baby is healthy and you have nothing but joy to celebrate.

I don't know how to explain it, but on Thursday I thought about my Cassandra a lot. I pulled out old pictures, read my old blog, and did a great deal of thinking about her and missing her. Now I know why :)

Again, our best thoughts and prayers and wishes are with you and your family in this happiest of times.

hoosierdude
10-27-2007, 03:46 PM
Icy,

I am ecstatic to hear the baby is here and your wife is fine. You know over the past year we have talked many times, and you know our prayers are with you. We keep you in our thoughts, and now that the baby is here, we will continue to pray for him, your wife, and of course you. :)

Congratulations Dad! I am hoping this time everything proceeds normally for years!

Izulde
10-27-2007, 04:18 PM
Congratulations, Icy!!!!!!!!!! :)

miami_fan
10-27-2007, 04:28 PM
Congrats Icy!!!!!! You and your family are in my prayers.

Icy
10-27-2007, 04:38 PM
Thanks a lot for all your thougs and prayers, it really feels great to be part of this fofc community.

We are just back from the hospital from feeding him the last time for today (during the night, the nurses feed the babes with breast milk that the mums leave in a fridge).

He looks nice and eats like a champ. As most of the babies in the new borns high care room are premature babies, mine that is a heavy one looks like their father :)

We don't want to get too excited as we know it all can end all the sudden, and that looking healthy now means too little until a few days more are past, but we can't avoid it.

Here are some pics from Hector, not really good ones are were taken with a movil phone:

These two are 5 minutes after being born, still dirty:

http://www.prodeportes.com/hector/hector1.jpg

http://www.prodeportes.com/hector/hector2.jpg

This one was made a few hours later and after receiving his first bath, look at his chubby cheeks, hard to think he is not healthy:

http://www.prodeportes.com/hector/hector3.jpg

cubboyroy1826
10-27-2007, 04:48 PM
Congrats Icy!!

BYU 14
10-27-2007, 04:48 PM
Great pics Icy, thanks for sharing. Congratulations on the new addition and continued prayers for you all.

sabotai
10-27-2007, 04:57 PM
5 minutes old and already flashing gangsta signs. :D

Pyser
10-27-2007, 07:01 PM
awesome, congrats!

King of New York
10-27-2007, 07:26 PM
Icy, you can have thoughts, prayers, and whatever else you want. Congratulations! I cannot imagine how stressful the next few days will be, but you have a good-looking boy there.

Radii
10-27-2007, 08:25 PM
Congrats man, positive thoughts are coming your way :)

Neon_Chaos
10-27-2007, 08:46 PM
Congratulations, Icy! I hope everything works out fine.

sterlingice
10-27-2007, 08:48 PM
Congrats. May the next few days pass very uneventfully :)

SI

Logan
10-27-2007, 09:28 PM
Congratulations and both good luck to you and prayers for you & your family.

+ "insert number of members of the board", I'm sure.

MizzouRah
10-27-2007, 10:19 PM
Cute pics Icy, congrats my man!!!

QuikSand
10-27-2007, 11:28 PM
Wonderful news, we're all pulling for you and the family.

M GO BLUE!!!
10-28-2007, 02:03 AM
Way to go Icy!

He's gonna be fine. Prayers done. Thoughts thought.

3ric
10-28-2007, 03:03 AM
Best news I've had in a while. If there was a family I'd wish this for, it's yours. Congratulations!

Emiliano
10-28-2007, 06:32 AM
Congratulations!!! Welcome to the world, lil' Hector!

I wish you and your family all the best, buddy.

terpkristin
10-28-2007, 07:50 AM
Hector's beautiful, Icy! Congratulations. :)

I'll be keeping all three of you in my thoughts, hopefully everybody will be able to come home soon, happy and healthy. :)

/tk

Klinglerware
10-28-2007, 08:05 AM
Congrats!

Dutch
10-28-2007, 08:52 AM
Congratulations, the baby looks great!

Sweed
10-28-2007, 08:54 AM
Congratulations Icy, great to hear. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

24 years ago our daughter was born and died 19 hours later due to some birth defects that were thought to be genetic (like you say some of these things are hard to prove\disprove now and this was 1983). A year later our son was born and this past spring graduated from college and is now a teacher. Everything in his life and our second daughters lives have been perfectly normal. I pray you have the same good fortune that we have had.

Good luck and God bless.

johnnyshaka
10-28-2007, 10:42 AM
Great to hear about your new addition, Icy!!!!

gkb
10-28-2007, 10:45 AM
Congrats Icy! My wife and I are praying for you and your family. Your new baby boy is very cute.

Marc Vaughan
10-28-2007, 11:42 AM
Congrats Icy, I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts ..

path12
10-28-2007, 12:59 PM
Let me join the others in both congratulations and best wishes for all of you.

saldana
10-28-2007, 02:45 PM
this is fantastic news! best wishes, and all our hopes for you, your wife, and Hector

hoopsguy
10-28-2007, 03:30 PM
Congrats, hope to keep hearing good reports on Hector for as long as you feel like posting them here.

Mizzou B-ball fan
10-29-2007, 06:59 AM
Big congrats to you, Icy. Welcome to the parenting fraternity! Here's the latest pic of my princess at 8 months.........

<a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/limelicker1/Month8/photo?authkey=DfENeIIls0U#5125453124068034626"><img src="http://lh4.google.com/limelicker1/RyFEdeT9yEI/AAAAAAAADG8/sKmtsi_oqPk/s800/Month8%20014.jpg" /></a>

CleBrownsfan
10-29-2007, 07:06 AM
Hope all goes well - he's looks very healthy!!!

Congrats to you and your wife!

MacroGuru
10-29-2007, 09:24 AM
Icy,

A delayed congrats as I was away from the comp the last few days in Australia!

chesapeake
10-29-2007, 10:15 AM
Congrats! I'm glad things are going well.

vex
10-29-2007, 10:26 AM
Congrats!

Kodos
10-29-2007, 10:58 AM
Cute kid you have there. I hope everything continues to go well. Thinking good thoughts!

Icy
10-31-2007, 07:05 AM
Update: Everything is going fine so far.

The first blood studies on the baby have been totally normal for a recent born baby so after 5 days in the high care unit, we were told that we could safely take our baby to home!! We cried of happiness, the nightmare seems over!

There is no guarantee that everything will be fine forever, as metabolic diseases can appear anytime in your life (specially in the first two years of life), but that the first week of life is almost over and the baby is fine is a huge advance as the more lethal ones appear in the first days of life, when the babies body start to produce energy by itself.

Of course i'm always supposing the worst, that our daughter died by an inherited metabolic disease, but it was never proven as i said before, and after seeing how healthy our new baby looks, the doctors are considering less and less that possibility. Anyway they took blood samples from our baby and sent them to the best lab in Spain, to test for more possible genetic diseases, but those tests will take weeks or even months so we were told to forget about them for a while and to just enjoy our baby as probably all those tests will be negative as also were for our daughter Celia.

We have been two days already at home, we are wasted, sleepless and SO HAPPY of it. Usually the first months are a nightmare for every new dad/mum but for us it is a dream and we are enjoying every minute of it. Every time that Hector cries and doesn't let us to rest, we get more happy about having him alive at home with us.

We are also making progress on adapting our lifestyle to the baby schedule, and for first time in 5 days, i could use my computer again :)

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, you really helped us a lot, we're in debt.

Izulde
10-31-2007, 07:08 AM
Glad to hear things are going so well, Icy! :)

JeeberD
10-31-2007, 07:09 AM
Wonderful news. :)

Mizzou B-ball fan
10-31-2007, 07:09 AM
FYI......the first few months are never a nightmare for mom and dad. :)

Glad everything is going well.

Eaglesfan27
10-31-2007, 07:27 AM
I'm so glad to hear things are going well, Icy :)

Bea-Arthurs Hip
10-31-2007, 07:39 AM
Congrats on the new baby.

We will keep you and your family in our prayers...

duckman
10-31-2007, 10:27 AM
Best news I've heard all week! Thanks for letting us know, Icy!

miami_fan
10-31-2007, 10:37 AM
Woo Hoo! Good news for sure!

gkb
10-31-2007, 12:06 PM
That's fantastic news Icy. :)

CamEdwards
10-31-2007, 12:50 PM
Excellent news, Icy! I'll keep you and your family in our prayers!

cuervo72
10-31-2007, 12:52 PM
Great news Icy.

sterlingice
10-31-2007, 09:50 PM
Now get some sleep if you can :)

SI