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View Full Version : OT: Mental health issues with my Mom


HeavyReign
11-09-2007, 02:52 AM
The Background:

When I was younger my parents both had pretty severe substance abuse problems. My Dad pretty much ended up becoming a crack addict for over 10 years before he died last year. My Mom had been an alcoholic pretty much from the time her brother committed suicide when I was 11. Shortly after my 15th birthday my Mom developed paranoid schizophrenia after trying crack as well. My parents lost their house because they had been spending all their money on drugs and ended up getting divorced. My mom tried to work while suffering with her mental and alcohol problems but made it less than a year before getting evicted from her last house. I ended up staying at my grandmother's house while my sister moved in with some friends. My mom ended up and my grandmother's house too after a couple months of trying to live with someone else. For around the next 9 years or so she was pretty much like a zombie while trying various medications that tended to make her sleep all day. Eventually they found something new that got my mom back to functioning pretty normally on a day to day basis. She moved in with my sister for about 4 years and did pretty well.

The last year and a half:

Around the time we found out my dad was sick my mom finally decided to get her own apartment. Once she was by herself she began having trouble taking her medication all of the time and was drinking again. She tried to take care of my dad while he was dying and probably stressed herself out beyond what she could handle. Last spring she moved in with my uncle and my grandmother to help take care of my grandmother. She was actually doing as good as ever for a couple months until my grandmother had a severe fall and the rest of the family decided to move her to a nursing home. It was a huge fight and my mom and uncle both got treated very poorly by some of my other aunts and uncles. When that happened my mom and my uncle started drinking together and my mom stopped taking her medication again. We've tried to get her help many times through the local mental health agency since then but she has deteriorated far beyond where she has ever been before. She began drinking heavily and chain smoking which are both things that hadn't been an issue while she was on her medication. For months she's been writing a sort of journal talking about how what's going on in her head. Most of it is very religous and incredibly bizzare like her husband David(doesn't exist) who is connected in some way to the devil, alien abuctions, and a number of things that are so disgusting that they can't really be mentioned here. She also started wetting herself on purpose which she also said was because of something in the bible. My aunt had purchased my grandmother's house to help pay for her bills and is going to be evicting my mom for not paying rent and pretty much neglecting everything.

Because of quesitons about her physical help we were able to get her taken in to the hospital tonight for another evaluation. Once there she wouldn't allow the doctor's to release any information to anyone else. The problem is we can't get any help for the mental issues because my mom is great about acting normal when she really needs to. She'll tell her doctors she's never felt better, she only drinks every now and theres nothing wrong with her anymore. Even showing them the running journal of everything she has been doing, the best that they can do is offer her voluntary help for the mental issues. Forced care is simply not possible unless they are exhibiting an obvious inability to take care of their own basic needs in front of the doctors. We got her to go in for an evaluation at the voluntary place overnight but tomorrow she'll be calling all her friends and family begging us to come get her. That's exactly what has happened any other time she's gone in overnight for mental health issues. She's not going to be allowed back in my grandmother's house so I'm not sure what we're going to do for her. What she really needs is a chance to essentially detox and then get back on her medication. Basically it feels like the only way to force her to get help is for everyone to turn her away but I have a feeling that my other grandmother will take her in if she shows up at her door. I'm just not sure what to do at this point. I really want to help her and she is a really great person when she's on her medication but we keep running into the same issue over and over. You can't force care on someone who refuses it.

Icy
11-09-2007, 03:05 AM
I don't know how to help you or even what to say you. Just try to stay strong as until now, it seems that you have been able to do it for a lot of years. I can't imagine that nightmare you have been into, you will be in my toughts.

Eaglesfan27
11-09-2007, 08:18 AM
I know this is probably going to be hard to do, but I'd recommend that you or another relative take pictures (or better yet video) of your mom when she wets herself, when she is very drunk/high, and when she is paranoid, disorganized, and at her worst with her psychosis. Also, continue to bring her writings to the doctors. Have as many concerned relatives as you can accompany you and her to the ER of the nearest hospital that has a psychiatric ward. Even during the 5 years of my residency, I saw the admission standards become higher and more difficult for Charity Hospital in New Orleans which had some of the most difficult psychiatric cases in the country. There is a crisis in this country regarding inpatient psychiatric hospitals with funding becoming more scarce across the country which forces doctors to become more stringent in their admission criteria. However, if you bring overwhelming evidence of her illness and the severity of this exacerbation of her illness, the doctors are going to have no choice but to admit her even if she is having a lucid moment.

I burnt out on inpatient work after 5 years because I saw hundreds of families like yours that were desperately trying to get help for loved ones and had difficulties doing so. I'm sure you know this, but it is very common for Schizophrenics to be non-compliant with their medications and up to 75% are non-compliant. It becomes a vicious cycle of hospitalization to get them back on their medications and then decompensation when they evenutally stop their medications. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Axxon
11-09-2007, 08:26 AM
I know this is probably going to be hard to do, but I'd recommend that you or another relative take pictures (or better yet video) of your mom when she wets herself, when she is very drunk/high, and when she is paranoid, disorganized, and at her worst with her psychosis.
'

Why, do you think she should date David Hasselhoff?? ;)

I feel for you HR. I'm working through something similar although it's not a family member but my oldest and dearest friend. That's tough enough, I can't imagine how I'd feel if it was my mom.

Lorena
11-09-2007, 10:10 AM
I, don't know what to say other than echo what Icy said... you'll be in my thoughts my friend.. it can't be easy.