Ping: Youth Sports Coaches (Player's Parent Problem)

[duckman]

This year, I volunteered to coach my son's YMCA youth basketball team when no one else would step up to do the job. I'm having a lot of fun coaching the kids and the kids are responding well to my instructions. We have not won a game yet, but everyone is improving. It's a been a real positive experience for me.

Here is my situation:

When I took on the job, I contacted all the parents to let them know when and where to show up for practice. Everyone but one kid did not show, but we had no games that week so no big deal. The next week the kid shows up for practice, and we give a lot of playing time (we only had 7 kids on the roster that week). I give out a schedule to the parents letting them know about practices and games.

The kid did not show up for practice (we only have an hour to practice every week) this week. We had installed a 2-3 zone during practice this week because everyone was struggling with man to man, and we put in a couple of simple set plays. We were hoping he would show up because we have so few players.

Today, we had a doubleheader. We had to play a game in the morning and one in the afternoon. The morning game was in a nearby town (about 20 miles north of where we live) and the other game was back home. The kid never shows up for the first game leaving us with 6 players. We get crushed 21-3 because we were worn down. Just before the afternoon game, the kid shows up. I started the same five from the morning game while my assistant gave him a crash course on what we did in practice.

During the game, I put him in the game, but he was messing up badly (he kept leaving his spot in the zone to play man and would try to play guard when we wanted him in the post), so I took him out of the game for my assistant give him some more instruction. Now, he had played about 6 minutes in the first half (8 minute quarters) when his mother starts yelling at me across the court. She was upset that I was not playing her son enough, so she makes him leave the game. By rule, I have to play them at least half the game, which I had planned to do before she pulled him from the game.

After the game, I asked one of the parents who knew this person about why she was so upset. Apparently, I was not being fair to her son because he wasn't get the playing time she thought he should. The kid's mom said I only played him a few minutes. The funny part was that she was busy talking on her cellphone to notice her son had play more than that. She also told the other parents she did not know where the game was, but she never called me for directions. We all agreed (parents and myself) that she was not being fair to the team because they have showed up to all the games and practices, but she is expecting equal treatment.

I think I am going to call her tomorrow after things cool off on her part. How should I handle this? Should I tell her how it is (he needs to be at practice and all the games in order to get more minutes) or be more tactful about it? I would like to continue coaching her son, but I don't think he should get his playing time handed to him. Those other kids should get more consideration with playing time because they worked hard for it. Thoughts?

[rowech]

I would call her and I would tell her that her son will continue to get the MINIMUM game time needed by rules as long as you continue to get MINIMUM practice time. That simple.

[Atocep]

I would personally be tactful about it, but stress the importance of practice time in relation to playing time as the kids are learning new things and sending him out there when he doesn't have a clue as to what he's doing is neither good for him nor the team.

The reason I would be tactful about it is you want to put it on her to escalate things since the kid is involved and you want to keep his best interest in mind. If she wants to be the stereotypical bad sports parent and put all the blame on you, then I'd step it up bluntly and tell her that if she wants her son to be part of youth sports leagues then its her responsibility to know the place and time of games and practice. If she has any questions she has you and the other parents who I am sure would be willing to help out. If she wants to question your coaching and her son's playing time she should spend less time talking on her cell phone and more time watching the game so she actually understands what is going on and can make informed arguments on her son's behalf.

[Cap Ologist]

Is she hot?

[duckman]

Is she hot?
No.

[Sgran]

It sounds to me like she just doesn't "get" the whole thing. i would call her up and let her do the talking. Find out why he doesn't come to practice or the away games. Does he need a ride? is there a scheduling conflict? Probably the kid is embarrassed at this point and needs support. Make it clear that you just want all of the kids to have fun and that he will have more fun if he knows what's expected from him on the court.

[PilotMan]

Two things, first it is YMCA basketball, not some overly competetive league. It really doesn't matter how many practices that he shows up for he still gets to play. As long as you are following the league mandated playing time things will work in your favor.

Second, you certainly need to have a talk with her. I would test the waters with a short phone call to prod her about what happened. If her attitude is different, go ahead and tell her that her behavior was not in the spirit of the league and remind her of what the rules say. She should have brought her problem up to you instead of airing it for the world to see.

If she is still combative, talk to the head of the league, and offer to make an appointment for the three of you to work it out. This gives you legit backing and is the only real way to solve the problem if she is going to continue to be a problem.

Of course, you could tell her that just because she got pregnant on the first time doesn't mean that she shouldn't try again. :)

[Barkeep49]

First let me recommend Chatterbox to you which is an incredibly helpful youth basketball bulletin board. You have to register to post, but I believe you can now read the site without registering (which is free). The url is: http://coachingyouthbasketball.net/chatterbox/index.php?showforum=3

Second, I have to question your use of zone. Your son, if I remember correctly, is 8 or 9. This age should be about learning the fundamentals. As you stated in your opening paragraph the emphasis should be on fun and improvement. Since those are your goals (and those are absolutely the goals one would hope the coach should have at this age), then teaching them zone might help them win, but will be bad for their long term improvement in basketball. Later on a coach can team them how to play zone, but it gets harder every year to teach a player how to play man to man. Further, a good defender in man will be an excellent defender in a zone. Also anything other than a pick and roll and a simple out of bounds play probably takes up too much of your practice time to teach to be effective. Teaching plays to young kids takes time. I coach in a competitive league where teams get their players for practices for at least a couple hours a week, and generally between 3 and 4, and I still think learning plays generally takes up time that could be use to developing fundamentals.

That said in this situation the parent is way out of line. Waiting for her to calm down was a good idea. I agree with sgran that you want to start off by letting her do the talking. If she's still upset let her rant herself out before you really start to talk. Talk about how your goals are to have fun and for the kids to improve and you understand that playing is more fun than sitting on the bench and then I would emphasize that you want her kid to be successful. Tell her that her son wasn't sitting on the bench as a punishment but instead so that your assistant coach could to try and do some in game instruction to catch him up to what he had missed that week in practice and that of course he would get to play at least half the game as the rules specify. Conclude by making sure she has the times and locations of your remaining games/practices as well as your contact info so she can call you if she needs clarification or if her son isn't going to be there.

Dealing with parents is my absolute least favorite part of coaching (and of teaching for that matter). It's one reason why I try to be proactive and send out regular emails so that the parents feel like they're in the loop.

I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this nastiness and hope you continue to impart your joy of the game to the players you coach.

[molson]

I would call her and I would tell her that her son will continue to get the MINIMUM game time needed by rules as long as you continue to get MINIMUM practice time. That simple.

Is there a way to put all annoying youth sport parents in some dark prison somewhere? That would be ideal. But if not possible, the above is the obvious answer.

[Barkeep49]

I would call her and I would tell her that her son will continue to get the MINIMUM game time needed by rules as long as you continue to get MINIMUM practice time. That simple.

Is there a way to put all annoying youth sport parents in some dark prison somewhere? That would be ideal. But if not possible, the above is the obvious answer.

While I don't disagree with the idea of this I do think it strikes the wrong tone.

[rowech]

While I don't disagree with the idea of this I do think it strikes the wrong tone.

Message needs to be sent immediately or the kid and mom will be a problem his whole life playing youth sports.

[molson]

While I don't disagree with the idea of this I do think it strikes the wrong tone.

The coach is in charge, period. Parents shouldn't even have input - I don't agree with the idea of legitimizing their insanity with meetings, etc.

The only exception for parent involvement should be off-the-field stuff. Like if your kid is being bullied by a teammate, etc.

But when coaches feel the need for a parent meeting when a kid isn't getting playing time - we're in worse shape than I thought. That's ridiculous.

[MizzouRah]

Being a youth soccer coach, I would call the mother on the phone and explain to her that it's not fair to the other kids who come to practices that her kid should get equal treatment.

[molson]

On another note, I'm jealous of kids who have coaches like duckman who are actually teaching them about the game of basketball. There's a few other youth coaches at FOFC who are equally impressive.

Did anyone else have the experience in YMCA and other youth leagues where you would just be randomly thrown on the floor, with no interaction with coaches except when they're paying personnel changes on the court? I played a ton of youth basketball and nobody ever taught me about zones/man-to-man, etc. We'd kind of just call a guy that we were responsible for when we got on the court "I got #18!"

I got a lot better and learned a lot just playing endless hours on the playground, but I wonder how much better I could have been if I ever had ANY coaching.

[Barkeep49]

Message needs to be sent immediately or the kid and mom will be a problem his whole life playing youth sports.

duckman's not going to be able to change this mother (and let's be clear that in this situation it is she who is causing the problem; there might be some residual down to the kid, but issues of a kid showing up or not is almost always completely in the realm of the parent at this age). From how this woman acted (with the cell phone & yanking the kid from the game) duckman won't be able to give her the message you suggest because he lacks the stature and authority to do so (no prior relationship to this family). Instead all he'd do is alienate her. She needs to know 100% that missing practices has consequences (he didn't know what they had learned) but if it's done in a forceful way she won't hear the message.

The coach is in charge, period. Parents shouldn't even have input - I don't agree with the idea of legitimizing their insanity with meetings, etc.

The only exception for parent involvement should be off-the-field stuff. Like if your kid is being bullied by a teammate, etc.

But when coaches feel the need for a parent meeting when a kid isn't getting playing time - we're in worse shape than I thought. That's ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong. The mother pulling her kid from the game? Absolutely unacceptable. However, the days of the coach who is absolutely in-charge is not here any more. You might think it's ridiculous but that's the state of youth sports today. Like I said dealing with parents is my least favorite aspect of the job, but it is an aspect and so I put up with it so I get to do the things I enjoy with my players.

On another note, I'm jealous of kids who have coaches like duckman who are actually teaching them about the game of basketball. There's a few other youth coaches at FOFC who are equally impressive.

Did anyone else have the experience in YMCA and other youth leagues where you would just be randomly thrown on the floor, with no interaction with coaches except when they're paying personnel changes on the court? I played a ton of youth basketball and nobody ever taught me about zones/man-to-man, etc. We'd kind of just call a guy that we were responsible for when we got on the court "I got #18!"

I got a lot better and learned a lot just playing endless hours on the playground, but I wonder how much better I could have been if I ever had ANY coaching.

Funny you say that. I agree his players are lucky to have a coach like duckman. However, I think something has been lost in the complete organization of youth sports. I think we're really denying our kids the chance to grow as leaders and players by the fact that kids basically only play sports with an adult supervising. While there is no doubt that you failed to learn some fundamentals, too many coaches still don't teach those and so you get the worst of all worlds.

[duckman]

Second, I have to question your use of zone. Your son, if I remember correctly, is 8 or 9. This age should be about learning the fundamentals. As you stated in your opening paragraph the emphasis should be on fun and improvement. Since those are your goals (and those are absolutely the goals one would hope the coach should have at this age), then teaching them zone might help them win, but will be bad for their long term improvement in basketball. Later on a coach can team them how to play zone, but it gets harder every year to teach a player how to play man to man. Further, a good defender in man will be an excellent defender in a zone. Also anything other than a pick and roll and a simple out of bounds play probably takes up too much of your practice time to teach to be effective. Teaching plays to young kids takes time. I coach in a competitive league where teams get their players for practices for at least a couple hours a week, and generally between 3 and 4, and I still think learning plays generally takes up time that could be use to developing fundamentals.

Actually, Matthew is 10. We're in a developmental league where supposedly no one knows how to play organized basketball. I agree with you about teaching man to man, but the problem is that I have a pot luck team and there is a lot of recruiting (should be made illegal) in this league. Last week, we played a team that had been together for 3 years and were recruited for the sole purpose of winning. Everyone of their players were taller and faster than my team and we got manhandled 22-2 (they stopped scoring once the margin goes 20 or more; it was more like 60-2). I put the zone in to give these kids a better chance of winning. If you had seen the faces after that first loss, you would understand why I did it.

Using man to man defense takes a tremendous amount of self discipline (something a lot of these kids don't have). In the first game, they were getting sucked up to the ball leaving their monster forwards wide open for easy baskets, and I could not get them to stay with their man. I'm working with them to not do that, but I put in the zone to help them short term. My hope is to use both before the season is over.

My offensive gameplan is mostly to teach them spacing since they like to get sucked up near the ball. Get my post players to post up for the ball, dump the ball to them and have the post player either turn around for a short or pass the ball off to the wingman cutting down the lane. Very simple to use and can be easily reset.

[duckman]

It sounds to me like she just doesn't "get" the whole thing. i would call her up and let her do the talking. Find out why he doesn't come to practice or the away games. Does he need a ride? is there a scheduling conflict? Probably the kid is embarrassed at this point and needs support. Make it clear that you just want all of the kids to have fun and that he will have more fun if he knows what's expected from him on the court.

I like this idea a lot, Sgran.

[duckman]

Barkeep, thanks for the website suggestion. I was using http://www.coachesclipboard.net/ for some ideas, but I can use all the help I can get. :)

[MIJB#19]

Something you may want to keep in mind here, at some point the rest of the kids will be tempted to no longer accept a no-show kid. They've already noticed, that's a sure thing. If the kid keeps missing practise, sooner or later there will be a reason to quit, whether it be the 'other kids not being nice', 'the game not being fun' or something forced by the mother (if she's really stubborn about it).

Of course, you can't tell the parents that directly, you can be subtile in hinting it's them holding the kid back from getting better. Make clear to this mother that showing up for practise is part of the learning experience and crucial for the kid to get better at basketball AND being part of the team. Now, how to tell it, my first thought was being direct about it, but you could definately disguise the message in a charming way.

[Barkeep49]

Barkeep, thanks for the website suggestion. I was using http://www.coachesclipboard.net/ for some ideas, but I can use all the help I can get. :)
Coaches Clipboard is a good site.

[Izulde]

In this type of situation, tact is the most important thing. Yes, she was in the wrong for pulling her kid from the game, but politeness and a spirit of cooperation will get you a lot further than taking a tough line.

I agree with sgram's suggestion and I'd also further point out that part of being able to learn, have fun and being part of the team is to be there for practices and games. As others have noted, by his absences, he's not learning, he's not becoming a part of the team and when he does show up, he's so out of the loop that he likely gets frustrated and isn't able to have fun.

[astrosfan64]

I would contact the head of the league and let him deal with it. There should be some kind of rule regarding playing time and practice.

[GoldenEagle]

I coach a youth soccer team where parents pay a lot of $$$. As a result, I rarely to worry about these sort of things. My policy is that if a player does not show up for a practice without a valid reason (approved by me), then they do not play in the first half of the first game for that weekend. I put this in writing before the season.

[duckman]

Well, I tried calling her last night, but she didn't answer. I left her a message asking her to call back so we could talk about the kid's playing time. If she doesn't return my call by this evening, I will try one more time before dropping the whole thing.

[RomaGoth]

This year, I volunteered to coach my son's YMCA youth basketball team when no one else would step up to do the job. I'm having a lot of fun coaching the kids and the kids are responding well to my instructions. We have not won a game yet, but everyone is improving. It's a been a real positive experience for me.

Here is my situation:

When I took on the job, I contacted all the parents to let them know when and where to show up for practice. Everyone but one kid did not show, but we had no games that week so no big deal. The next week the kid shows up for practice, and we give a lot of playing time (we only had 7 kids on the roster that week). I give out a schedule to the parents letting them know about practices and games.

The kid did not show up for practice (we only have an hour to practice every week) this week. We had installed a 2-3 zone during practice this week because everyone was struggling with man to man, and we put in a couple of simple set plays. We were hoping he would show up because we have so few players.

Today, we had a doubleheader. We had to play a game in the morning and one in the afternoon. The morning game was in a nearby town (about 20 miles north of where we live) and the other game was back home. The kid never shows up for the first game leaving us with 6 players. We get crushed 21-3 because we were worn down. Just before the afternoon game, the kid shows up. I started the same five from the morning game while my assistant gave him a crash course on what we did in practice.

During the game, I put him in the game, but he was messing up badly (he kept leaving his spot in the zone to play man and would try to play guard when we wanted him in the post), so I took him out of the game for my assistant give him some more instruction. Now, he had played about 6 minutes in the first half (8 minute quarters) when his mother starts yelling at me across the court. She was upset that I was not playing her son enough, so she makes him leave the game. By rule, I have to play them at least half the game, which I had planned to do before she pulled him from the game.

After the game, I asked one of the parents who knew this person about why she was so upset. Apparently, I was not being fair to her son because he wasn't get the playing time she thought he should. The kid's mom said I only played him a few minutes. The funny part was that she was busy talking on her cellphone to notice her son had play more than that. She also told the other parents she did not know where the game was, but she never called me for directions. We all agreed (parents and myself) that she was not being fair to the team because they have showed up to all the games and practices, but she is expecting equal treatment.

I think I am going to call her tomorrow after things cool off on her part. How should I handle this? Should I tell her how it is (he needs to be at practice and all the games in order to get more minutes) or be more tactful about it? I would like to continue coaching her son, but I don't think he should get his playing time handed to him. Those other kids should get more consideration with playing time because they worked hard for it. Thoughts?

Welcome to coaching youth sports. I have discovered over time that you will never please everyone, no matter how hard you try. There will always be a parent or two that just doesn't get it. I coached my son's baseball team the last 2 summers. The summer before this last summer, I had a parent actually threaten me with a bat because I would not let his son use his own equipment. The league rules clearly stated that all of the equipment is supplied by the league/team, and the players are to only supply their own baseball glove. Yet this guy goes balistic because, as he put it, "I would not have spent all that money on equipment for my son if I would have known he couldn't use it". The rules were outlined in the handout each parent was given at the first or second practice. So, I feel your pain. My suggestion is to stand by your beliefs and principles. Be as tactful as you can, but be firm. There is nothing worse than a wishy-washy coach (except for annoying parents). ;)

[Noop]

If you only have 7 players might I suggest you spend a bulk of your time conditioning. Also depending on the age group you really don't need to run plays on offense might I suggest you teach them where to stand. As for defense man2man is the right defense because zone begets bad habits.

Practice Schedule I used this summer
5 - Talk to the team about last game or practice
10 - Conditioning
10 - Lay Up Drills
10 - Defense(Step Slide, Shell, etc.)
10 - Shooting Drill(All midrange)
10 - Scrimmage(If you don't have 10 try 2 on 2 full court big man with a little man
10 - Conditioning
5 - Talk to the team about practice.

I like to switch it up and make them condition for 15 minutes then run a scrimmage. The purpose for this is to help them think when they are tired.

[Noop]

I just read the whole post and Barkeep pretty much nailed it on the head. Sorry about that its just that for my summer job the last two years I was a coach for 12 and Unders and 10 and Unders.

[johnnyshaka]

I quit coaching Little League a couple of years ago after doing it for 12 years. The primary reason was because of the birth of my daughter but dealing with a-hole parents was a very close second. Even during the last couple of years I stipulated that I would only coach if there was somebody else invovled that would take responsibility for dealing with the parents but that still wasn't enough of a buffer for me to enjoy coaching. Very frustrating especially when the reason I got involved in coaching in the first place was because nobody was willing to do it...much like Duckman's situation. But, while there is always a shortage of coaches there is never a shortage of complaining parents.

Duckman, I sympathize with you as I've had several bouts with parents over the years over similar issues. My best advice to you would be to try and sit down with the woman, and her husband if he's in the picture, and go over the league rules about playing time and make sure she understands them completely. Then, I would try and explain to her what you are trying to accomplish with the kids throughout the season and how important being at practices and games is to achieve that goal. I've found that some parents who were never involved in organized sports growing up just don't understand the time and commitment it takes even for a "fun" league to succeed. I might even go so far as to pointing out a couple of flaws her son has and what you can do to improve his basketball skills so he can be a better player but emphasize that he needs to be at practice to work on those things.

Good luck...let us know how things go.

[RomaGoth]

I quit coaching Little League a couple of years ago after doing it for 12 years. The primary reason was because of the birth of my daughter but dealing with a-hole parents was a very close second. Even during the last couple of years I stipulated that I would only coach if there was somebody else invovled that would take responsibility for dealing with the parents but that still wasn't enough of a buffer for me to enjoy coaching. Very frustrating especially when the reason I got involved in coaching in the first place was because nobody was willing to do it...much like Duckman's situation. But, while there is always a shortage of coaches there is never a shortage of complaining parents.

Duckman, I sympathize with you as I've had several bouts with parents over the years over similar issues. My best advice to you would be to try and sit down with the woman, and her husband if he's in the picture, and go over the league rules about playing time and make sure she understands them completely. Then, I would try and explain to her what you are trying to accomplish with the kids throughout the season and how important being at practices and games is to achieve that goal. I've found that some parents who were never involved in organized sports growing up just don't understand the time and commitment it takes even for a "fun" league to succeed. I might even go so far as to pointing out a couple of flaws her son has and what you can do to improve his basketball skills so he can be a better player but emphasize that he needs to be at practice to work on those things.

Good luck...let us know how things go.

Excellent advice. I feel the same way about the parents. This past fall, my son played on his first football team (yes, football, not that crap called soccer that people in Europe call football). At first, the team had no coach and was in danger of being disbanded (with no $$ refund I might add :mad: ), but at the last minute a guy stepped up and took the job. Shortly thereafter, his son broke his arm on the playground at school, so the coach quit, citing that "his heart wasn't in it since his son wasn't going to play this year". Somebody else took the position instead, but I refused to because I am so damn busy right now and I didn't want to deal with moronic parents whom have no clue the commitment that goes into coaching a youth sports team. Good advice Johnny!!

[duckman]

To Noop and Barkeep:

How do I get them to stay with their player in man to man? I preached the entire time to stay with their man no matter what happens, but no success. In our first game, the kids kept getting sucked up to the ball and would double or triple team players. This would lead to easy baskets for the opponent's post players. They won't talk to each other in order to get all the players covered. I try to help them out by telling them which player to stay with, but no success. Is there a drill I need to know about because that is the reason I've changed over to a zone?

Also, the reason I showed them some set plays was only for teaching them spacing. Again, they all move towards the ball which only causes turnovers. They will wait for the double team to get right on them to try to pass leading to turnovers. If the guards would just swing the ball around the perimeter and feed the ball to the post once in a while I would be happy.

My biggest issue is that I have only one hour and a half court (they have two teams on a court at a time) to run my practices. I can't teach them to run down court and set up on offense and defense and that hurts them greatly. I'm trying to find a local church that will let me use their gym because we can work on those areas and give them an extra hour to work on fundamentals.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[Barkeep49]

To teach man to man noop mentioned slide and shell. Both are excellent drills for teach m2m. Here's how I'd run them given your situation:

Slide: Two lines in the corners. The first player in line is the defender, the second the ball handler. The ball handler dribbles on a diaganol to the free throw line, pivots and dribbles to the half court line. Repeat coming back. The defender's job is to slide and "force" their player to go the direction they want. Partners should go to the back of the line and switch jobs (ball handler/defender) next time through the line.
Coaching tips:
1. Don't let the defender use his hands to steal the ball.
2. The defender should be in a good defensive stance (I will demonstrate this by having kids sit in a chair and then slide the chair out from under them. That's the ideal, though few can do it for more than a moment or two. I like to teach them to use one hand to challenge the dribble and the other to get in their face for passing or shot disruption though other coaches like to teach with two hands low)
2. If the ball handler beats the player to the elbow he should wait for the defender to catch up.
3. The defender shouldn't let that happen and should beat his man to the spot.
4. No galloping. It's called the slide drill for a reason.
5. Have the ball handler go slowly at first before working up to more of a game speed.
6. For added offensive practice the ball handler should be dribbling with his left hand when going left and right hand when going right, while using the other hand to protect the ball.

Shell drill: This really works best with 8 players, 4 on offense, 4 on defense. If you have your full 7 there I would act as the 4th player on offense. The way it's setup is that there is one player in each corner outside the 3 point line and one player at about the farthest point of the 3 point line on each side (If you don't have 8 people, including coaches at a practice simply drop one of the corners and make sure to rotate the players on defense so that the player in the middle isn't always in deny/on ball). There are then 4 players who are guarding those players. The defensive player then needs to ask himself: "How far away from the ball am I?"

My player has the ball - I should be guarding my player, in a defensive stance, as close as possible while not so close that he can beat me off the dribble.

1 pass away - Deny the pass.

2 passes away - In help mode. Imagine a line running directly throw the center of the court. When in help mode a player should be on this line so that they are between the ball and their player and able to see both (generally this means standing sideways). The idea here is to make a skip pass difficult while also being available if someone gets beat off the dribble.

The offense then passes the ball around the arc. Defense should not try and steal the ball, merely work on positioning. Offense should not dribble or move. The passes will have to start off slow and then can work up to game speed.

Once they have this down, and I'd suggest not doing this for a couple of times, if at all, you can start to allow players to move corner to corner and freely outside the 3 point line. Players will have to think harder about how close they are to the ball on defense. You can then also stress on offense about keeping the floor spaced. I would, however, really emphasize that this is ADVANCED ADVANCED stuff for 5th graders.

Another varient that isn't so advanced is to allow the player with the ball to dribble penetrate. Players should help as appropriate. If he has a lay-up I let him score, otherwise all he can do is dribble penetrate and pass out to a different player along the perimter (and he must then immeadiately go back to his place on the perimeter). I eventually will let players on the ball, either because it is their man or they are coming to help, steal the ball (either off the dribble or pass) but players who are off the ball still should not intercept passes.

Also of use could be a couple of 3 on 3 varients:

3 on 3 "No Excuses" - You have the perfect # of players for this (7). You play a game of 3 on 3. If your man scores you sit out and the player who had been out comes in and guards the player who scored. Mismatches WILL happen, that's part of the no excuses.

3 on 3 "Switch" - Players play a game of 3 on 3. When you yell "switch" the offensive player must put the ball down. The offensive team now becomes the defensive team and defense becomes offense. The closest offensive person should grab the ball. A person OTHER than the player who had the ball when you yelled switch should come and defend. This means your players will have to communicate with each other about their defensive assignments. I would recommend demonstrating this one before you start playing as it's hard to explain but easy to see in practice.

I probably have a few other drills in one of my books at home that would be useful and I'll try and remember to look in those and see what looks like it might be good.

[Noop]

I had a problem with the spacing issue my first season and to be honest the only way to fix that is practice. One hour a week is not going to solve it because as child sometimes their minds wonder and with the add pressure of a real game they revert back to old habits. The same can be said for man to man the only way to really make them remember is to drill it.

The thing to remember about coaching is it is a process and the results take time. This is my own personal opinion but I think instilling confidence in your kids will make the world of difference.

[Barkeep49]

Was wondering if there was an update.

[duckman]

Well, the parent wouldn't talk to me for several weeks. Last week, her son shows up to our first practice since the winter break. It was really awkward because I had his spot filled (we filled up the roster over the break) after speaking with the sports director. Now, I have 11

[duckman]

Well, the parent wouldn't talk to me for several weeks. Last week, her son shows up to our first practice since the winter break. It was really awkward because I had his spot filled (we filled up the roster over the break) after speaking with the sports director. Now, I have 11 players on the roster. I sent an email to the sports director to see about moving one of the players because I can only have 10 players. Not what I had in mind when I took on this gig.

The team is playing better. We lost last week's game 20-6, but they were much better with their man to man thanks to the shell drill. I plan on making that my main focus for practices this season (20 minutes of the 60 minute slots). I'll work on building their confidence shooting the ball because many will either not shoot when the shot is available or overthink it and can't get a shot off.

[johnnyshaka]

Duckman...sorry to hear that things are still aren't resolved. And communities wonder why they can never find enough volunteers for things like this...astounding.

[Noop]

If you decide to coach next season perhaps a meeting with all of the parents to go over the rules with them as well as the kids, in fact I would do it at the same time. At the conclusion of the meeting you should have covered playing time, parents role, expectations, ideas for beverages and what they have them sign a promise that they will abide by these rules. If the promise is broken then you reserve the right to remove their child from the team.( I only do this with bad parents who like to cuss and holler about their child not playing, they make the team uncomfortable as well as their child believe it or not.) Just an idea.

P.S. I have had only one bad parent who kept telling his son to do something different then what i taught him and then complained when his son did not play much. As a result I ended up having to remove the kid off the team, to my surprise the next day the kid's mom came to apologize for her husband's behavior. I let him back on the team and the father ended up being the biggest supporter of not only my 10's but of my 12's.


I didn't know it would be that long.

[duckman]

Wow, that was an awesome experience! After our final game of the season, we had a party where the team gave me a basketball signed by all the players. All of the parents (except the one that had issures with me) are wanting to me to coach their kids next season! It really took a lot to keep from tearing up. Just a great opportunity! I think I want to do it again next year!

[MizzouRah]

Wow, that was an awesome experience! After our final game of the season, we had a party where the team gave me a basketball signed by all the players. All of the parents (except the one that had issures with me) are wanting to me to coach their kids next season! It really took a lot to keep from tearing up. Just a great opportunity! I think I want to do it again next year!

It is a great feeling, way to go coach!!!

[Bubba Wheels]

Vince Lombardi returns. :rolleyes:

[duckman]

Vince Lombardi returns. :rolleyes:
http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d138/duckman76/a49dcfeb.jpg?t=1203206218

[Barkeep49]

I'm glad that your struggles didn't over shadow some real success. You're a credit to the youth coaching ranks.

[firebirds]

If you have a desire to continue coaching I would be glad to share the method I used to deal with the parents of my players during my coaching days. I had a 100% success rate and rather than make a very long post here you can PM me and I'd be happy to let you know how I handled things.

[Gary Gorski]

duckman - keep it up. I coach high school basketball myself and just like at your level there are no shortages of parents that just don't get it. It's even more difficult at our level because its competitive basketball - there are players on the team that play little or not at all in some games and some parents have an extremely difficult time dealing with that (moreso that the players in most cases)

The bottom line is that youth sports need people like you. Many parents are too busy/don't care to know if their kid is doing their homework or drive them to practice if they have something else to do but sure enough they'll show up for a game once in a while and see their child not play and then they're an involved and concerned parent. Unfortunately there are far too many of these parents now which is why there aren't many good youth coaches. Same for referees. Officiating is an even worse job and why people do it is beyond me. But if the parents, fans, coaches and players treated them with some respect I think we would have far better officiating just like kids would get far better coaching if parents just let the coaches do their job. Unfortunately that's not the case and the parents have far more chances to undermine your authority and ability to coach their child than you have to coach. Just know that you did a great job and stick with it because youth sports needs coaches like you.

Oh, and on the coaching part - DEFINITELY work that shell drill. Coaches teach kids the fundamentals of dribbling, shooting and passing but year after year I'm amazed that I have to spend weeks of practice time starting from square one teaching the fundamentals of defense. I also say there's no reason not to play zone - the shell teaches the fundamentals of defense period whether it is man or zone - just because it is not a competitive league doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to give your kids the best chance to win possible. They want to win and if a zone will be more effective against that team then I say go for it. The problem comes in with coaches not teaching how to play zone (or man) and then yeah, the kids don't learn anything by doing it. But if taught the principles of the shell they can apply that to a zone and will be an even better player.

[HerRealName]

problem solved.. post removed. Thanks for the advice.

[finkenst]

styop using any words that start with 'f'.

seriously... stop using fricking aor freaking.

[JonInMiddleGA]

HRN - I'd say you're probably going to get some degree of grief about that variant of the word unless you drop it from your coaching vocabulary.

[HerRealName]

I'd rather not coach again, seriously. I've coached on the high school level and I do a good job of self-censoring myself in comparison to those days. If those words are too objectionable to use.. well, it's a standard too high for me to meet :).

[JonInMiddleGA]

I've coached on the high school level

How you ever worked with 8-9's after that kind of amazes me.

(Not kicking dirt on it or anything, especially not since your own kid was involved, just saying I can't fathom trying to deal with the dramatic differences in skill sets)

[HerRealName]

My Dad was a HS basketball coach so I helped him run basketball camps and youth leagues until I moved away from the area.

I should add to that I was never a head basketball coach at the HS level. I just helped out relative's teams by coaching their post players primarily The highest I ever coached as a head coach was Freshman and a couple of years at 8G.

[Lathum]

Thread necromance

I had a small incident in my first day ever as a coach.

Me and a buddy stepped up to coach our sons t-ball team ( same team, both coaching) since they were lacking in coaches. Kids are 4-5.

First 2 weeks are an hour instruction, no games, then the rest of the schedule is 30 minute practice and 30 minute game. There are 3 diamonds and 6 teams, so each team shares a diamond, 30 minutes in the outfield and 30 minutes on the diamond.

The other teams coach introduced himself and came across as really pushy and a bit of a jerk. I know the other coach as our boys all go to school together.

They started on the infield and we in the outfield, they asked if they could have to tee and I of course oblidged as it only seemed logical since they were on the infield. We did our 30 minutes of practice, throwing, etc...and at the 30 minute mark we switched.

They asked if they could use the tee still. Trying to be nice I said, sure, but only a few minutes since we haven't had it yet.

A few minutes go by and I go to retrieve the tee. At this point the jerky coach says they hadn't had it for long and did fielding drills when they were using the infield. He then points to a bin about 5 fields away and tells me they usually have gear in those bins. I am now annoyed and the parents from both teams are looking over. I inform the guy that we probably could have communicated better, but we were operating under the assumption that the team on the infield would be using the tee, espically since they had asked for it.

At this point the other coach, who I know, says he has one in his car and is happy to grab it, thus diffusing the situation.

I was really annoyed at this guy. I am trying to do the best I can and he is stealing the damn tee and expects to have it the whole time, and them expects me to go hunt one down?

The kids didnt notice, and my wife was likely the only one who really knew how annoyed I was, outside the other coaches, but I dunno, am I out of line here?

[muns]

Hell no you aren't. Being nice isn't always easy when it comes back in your face.

[HerRealName]

Just the first in a long line of assholes that you'll be dealing with :).

Actually, I've had great experiences coaching tee ball. Adults typically don't start getting crazy until score is kept.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Hell no you aren't. Being nice isn't always easy when it comes back in your face.

+1

[Butter]

Had something weird also coaching T-ball.

Our league didn't keep score. You just batted around every inning, you played 3 innings, and that was that.

Except when you played this one team. They wanted to play by "baseball" rules... so you get 3 outs per inning like a normal game. My kids didn't like this. Our parents didn't like this. My other 2 coaches didn't like this. Didn't know what to do, so I went along with it when I shouldn't have. Luckily, my kids played the best game they had played all year, including catching a fly ball for an out (the only time that happened for us all year), so it was respectable.

Clearly, the league stacked all the kids that were "good" on one team, and everyone else was a free-for-all. They were trying to prep this one team at the expense of everyone else that played them having fun. That was my first and last year in that league.

[miami_fan]

Just the first in a long line of assholes that you'll be dealing with :).

Actually, I've had great experiences coaching tee ball. Adults typically don't start getting crazy until score is kept.

So you did not have the father who wanted his 5 year old to hit everything to the opposite field? Yeah he was a joy to have in he stands.

[miami_fan]

I just wanted to send a hearty FU to the basketball coach who today decided to employ a Hack A Shaq strategy in a game involving 7 to 9 year old kids. I hope that tape gets you that interview with the Pelicans that you are gunning for. A--hole!

[Mota]

We had an issue with a player on my son's travel team this year. He would miss games and practices because of other activities. The coach ended up talking to the mom about the commitment that was made at the beginning of the season and that he expected them to follow through on this commitment.

Surprisingly, the parents changed their attitude and the kid's season turned around completely. He was one of the most improved players on the team and made the team once again this season.

Sometimes you have problem parents, but thankfully in this case it was a matter of parents just not understanding the travel team program vs. a regular house league team.

I also had an incident when I was coaching soccer last year with a player who was openly disprespectful to me, and to the other players on the team. He would not follow positional orders and would just run up and play forward while he was defense. We ended up putting him in net for the 2nd half every time he would disobey us. It humbled him a bit and we did see SOME turnaround. Most importantly we met the kid's dad, and understand why the kid was that way. He was super rich and thought he was better than everybody else. Now his kid also believes that he was better than everybody else and did not need to respect his teammates and follow orders.

With both of these stories, it goes to show how much parents have to do with the kids success. We can say whatever we want about a 10 year old kid, but about 90% of the time it's really a reflection of the parents just as much as the kid.

[MIJB#19]

With both of these stories, it goes to show how much parents have to do with the kids success. We can say whatever we want about a 10 year old kid, but about 90% of the time it's really a reflection of the parents just as much as the kid.Interesting conclusion. Initially I couldn't directly relate to either of your stories, yet in retrospect realize how true your conclusion is.

A possible exception to the rule being kids of divorced parents that don't go along well. I remember a girl that was obviously bounced around back and forth. To me it felt like both parents were trying to win the divorce by telling me how the other parent and new partner had forced the kid to play sports, yet how they were unable to make time to make the kid commit to playing games. In talks with both, I tried to emphasize the girl's enjoyment being the most important thing, to no avail. All in all, it was one of the most discouraging things I had to witness as a youth coach.

[Mota]

Yes, for sure MIJB!

Last season I was given a challenge at the beginning of the soccer season. A mom came up to me saying that if players were rated from A-D, her son was an F. He played a few years back and quit after 2 games because he hated it. I told her that my goal for the season was to make sure he had a fun season.

He ended up still being one of the worst players in the league, but from encouragement and motivation, he had one of the biggest smiles on the field, in games or practices. I loved his enthusiasm, no matter what the score was.

This spring I was walking to the field for a game and his mom came up to one of my friends and said that I was her son's favorite coach ever. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but the kid was back on the field again this season, still with a huge smile on his face. That's all a coach can really ask for.