She's Not Winning Employee of the Year

[Coffee Warlord]

Couldn't resist sharing this one.

We just hired a new accounting person. She was replacing quite possibly the most vile human being I've ever worked with. Universally loathed.

Anyway, yesterday was her first day. She left for lunch.

...and never returned. Not a word to anyone. Took her pictures she brought in, and took off. Wheeeee!

[Dr. Sak]

I suspect she won't be asking anyone at your company for a reference anytime soon.

[TroyF]

Used to happen all the time at the call center I worked at.

Just like you said it too. They'd show up at 8, bring small things like a coffee mug, pictures, day planner, etc. They'd pack all of it up before lunch and we'd never see them again.

Not sure how anyone could do that, but a lot of people do.

[oliegirl]

At my last job, we had that happen...new girl started in accounting, she came in for a couple of days and then disappeared. Funny thing was, her boss was out of the country at the annual meeting when she disappeared so no one knew where she was. Turns out she'd called and left a voice mail for her boss, but her boss had never given the information to anyone on the team. People are idiots.

[molson]

On the other hand, that's probably smarter than hanging with something for 6 months and leaving on bad terms. You didn't waste time, you won't have any gaps in your resume to explain.

[Passacaglia]

So..what do you think it was that made her leave the job? I've seen that happen when I worked in retail, but not really office jobs.

[Honolulu_Blue]

So..what do you think it was that made her leave the job? I've seen that happen when I worked in retail, but not really office jobs.

My money is on the penguin hat. I bet that shit freaked her out and she bolted at the first opportunity.

[Mustang]

I've done this once. Although when I was hired, I was told I'd be doing one thing, but when I started I was doing something completely unrelated.

When I worked at Pizza Hut, it was the first day for one employee, she came in was there for 5 minutes and the police came in and arrested her and led her off in handcuffs.

Plus, I'm REALLY curious as to what someone could have done in a 4 hour time frame to make them the most vile person ever and universally loathed? That's some really quick work there... hell, I don't even think Jeffrey Dahmer's co-workers said that.

[cartman]

It's even stranger when someone that works there for a while does it. Back at one of the companies I worked for in the Bay Area, the guy that was in charge of the field techs did this. He had worked for the company for 10 years with no problems. One day he tells us he is running out to the post office for lunch, and never came back. He had a history of heart problems, so the owner thought that maybe something had happened to him while he was out, so went looking for him. We find out a couple of weeks later that he had decided on his way back from the post office that he didn't want to work there anymore, and just drove to a relative's house in L.A. Really bizarre.

[Dr. Sak]

Plus, I'm REALLY curious as to what someone could have done in a 4 hour time frame to make them the most vile person ever and universally loathed? That's some really quick work there... hell, I don't even think Jeffrey Dahmer's co-workers said that.

She was replacing that person.

[wade moore]

When i worked Telemarketing in High School we used to take bets on new employees and how long they would last, etc..

I think the fastest I saw someone break down in tears was like 45 minutes into their first day.

[johnnyshaka]

I wish one of my co-workers would do the same thing.

[oliegirl]

When i worked Telemarketing in High School we used to take bets on new employees and how long they would last, etc..

I think the fastest I saw someone break down in tears was like 45 minutes into their first day.

Man, I did telemarketing in HS too...those jobs SUCKED! But I still never just walked out, was tempted a time or two, but never actually did it.

[Mustang]

She was replacing that person.

Ahhhhh... missed that important little word. Kinda changes the whole meaning. :)

Thought maybe the new girl crapped on her desk and started throwing feces around like a monkey or something.

[wade moore]

Man, I did telemarketing in HS too...those jobs SUCKED! But I still never just walked out, was tempted a time or two, but never actually did it.
It was fantastic for me really. I thrived pretty well and made very good $$$ for a HS student.

[Dr. Sak]

Ahhhhh... missed that important little word. Kinda changes the whole meaning. :)

Thought maybe the new girl crapped on her desk and started throwing feces around like a monkey or something.

It's ok, I reread it 3 times before posting to make sure. :)

[Toddzilla]

So..what do you think it was that made her leave the job? I've seen that happen when I worked in retail, but not really office jobs.Plastic Owl on her cube?

[cartman]

I wonder if it was because CW pulled out the Mr. Microphone and told her "Hey good lookin'! We'll be back to pick you up later!"

[Coffee Warlord]

Trust me. There are WAY better looking people here than she was.

And they dig the penguin hat.

[Coffee Warlord]

Dola...no freakin' CLUE why she just walked. She seemed normal and halfway nice to everyone here.

We have a suspicion some other job she applied for finally made her an offer, it was better, and she just bolted.

[Breeze]

We has a DBA that brought in donunts his first day, and he left at lunch and never returned. He basically told our IT director that after getting in and seeing our situation he didn't feel up to the task of organizing our data...

[stevew]

This kind of stuff happens all the time in the retail and restaurant sector.

[Coffee Warlord]

However, not for controllers. :)

[gottimd]

I wish one of my co-workers would do the same thing.

+1

[Fidatelo]

We has a DBA...

Are you a LOLcat?

[Anthony]

i did this once, when i was in college. hired to work in a pet store. they asked me to wear nice clothing, i thought i was going to be groomed for some type of assistant manager/sales register role.

they told me to go into the bird room and clean the cages.


in my nice clothes.


i told the supervisor there i was going to step outside to grab a candy bar. i went outside, casually made a right, then proceeded to run all the way home (it was a mile away from where i lived). i was singing "run to the hills" from Iron Maiden the entire way.

i get home, i call the pet store up, and say "hi, this is anthony, i was just working there about 10 minutes ago", the supervisor says "yes?", "yeah, i won't be coming back. thanks for the opportunity!".

till this day my wife makes me tell this story at parties. it's funnier, cuz i include the part involving the parrot.


i wish i was in college again.

[Passacaglia]

i did this once, when i was in college. hired to work in a pet store. they asked me to wear nice clothing, i thought i was going to be groomed for some type of assistant manager/sales register role.

they told me to go into the bird room and clean the cages.


in my nice clothes.


i told the supervisor there i was going to step outside to grab a candy bar. i went outside, casually made a right, then proceeded to run all the way home (it was a mile away from where i lived). i was singing "run to the hills" from Iron Maiden the entire way.

i get home, i call the pet store up, and say "hi, this is anthony, i was just working there about 10 minutes ago", the supervisor says "yes?", "yeah, i won't be coming back. thanks for the opportunity!".

till this day my wife makes me tell this story at parties. it's funnier, cuz i include the part involving the parrot.


i wish i was in college again.

Could be worse. They could have actually groomed you.

[oliegirl]

i did this once, when i was in college. hired to work in a pet store. they asked me to wear nice clothing, i thought i was going to be groomed for some type of assistant manager/sales register role.

they told me to go into the bird room and clean the cages.


in my nice clothes.


i told the supervisor there i was going to step outside to grab a candy bar. i went outside, casually made a right, then proceeded to run all the way home (it was a mile away from where i lived). i was singing "run to the hills" from Iron Maiden the entire way.

i get home, i call the pet store up, and say "hi, this is anthony, i was just working there about 10 minutes ago", the supervisor says "yes?", "yeah, i won't be coming back. thanks for the opportunity!".

till this day my wife makes me tell this story at parties. it's funnier, cuz i include the part involving the parrot.


i wish i was in college again.


Alright, I'll take the bait...what's the part involving the parrot????

[Anthony]

it was not harmed. that's all the info that is needed for the sake of this thread/story.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

it was not harmed. that's all the info that is needed for the sake of this thread/story.

Dear HA,

Could you please give us a call?

Sincerly,
PETA

[oliegirl]

it was not harmed. that's all the info that is needed for the sake of this thread/story.

Man - you've got to be kidding! After all the inappropriate stories you've told here, you aren't going to tell us what happened with the parrot???? You suck!

[wade moore]

Don't feed the HA.

[Karlifornia]

I did this once....okay...twice.


The first time was when I was 18. I got a job at Toys 'R' Us during the holidays. Right out of the gate, I worked 9 full days in a row. Then, we had "Black Friday" which was just insane. The worst part about the job is that they wouldn't let me leave the register for any reason. When there were no customers, I still couldn't even walk 10 feet away. There were hours where I'd just stand there and daydream about opening up one of the super soakers and launching a full-out guerilla-style war on my fellow employees.

One day, about three weeks into the job, I showed up wearing jeans. This was a no-no. "khakis only". So they told me to go home and get different pants. I didn't have a car, so I decided to make it a permanent search for khaki pants.

The other time was at Mervyn's. I got hired, went through orientation and all of that. Really boring stuff. Then, on my first real work day, they put me in the shoe section. My first customer asked me if I knew where the matching shoe was for the one in her hand. I went over to where she found it, and there was just a massive pile of shoes, boxes, and tissue paper strewn all over. I asked to take my first break, and drove home, never to return!

[Passacaglia]

And now Mervyn's is out of business. Nice job, asshole.

[Raiders Army]

And now Mervyn's is out of business. Nice job, asshole.



lol

[Lorena]

I've done this once. Although when I was hired, I was told I'd be doing one thing, but when I started I was doing something completely unrelated.

Yeah, temporary agencies do that a lot and it's really irritating. I was told that I'd be doing one thing and when I got to the place, it was completely different. I told my supervisor and he was embarassed and apologized. The next day I called the temp agency and had a talk with the woman that sent me on assignment. She was embarassed as well but lucky for me, I got a job quickly after that so no harm done.

[MacroGuru]

You know, I took a job with a call center, working one of the highest paid accounts...filled out all my paperwork....work up the morning I was supposed to go in....and just could not see myself behind a desk on the phone all day...Being a tech support person to old people and their diabetic sugar testing machines......

[Mustang]

they put me in the shoe section.

Close call Bundy. Might have needed to change your nick to Alifornia

[Passacaglia]

You know, I took a job with a call center, working one of the highest paid accounts...filled out all my paperwork....work up the morning I was supposed to go in....and just could not see myself behind a desk on the phone all day...Being a tech support person to old people and their diabetic sugar testing machines......

Weird. You'd think they would get doctors or nurses involved, if there were problem with diabetic sugar testing machines.

[MacroGuru]

Weird. You'd think they would get doctors or nurses involved, if there were problem with diabetic sugar testing machines.

I thought the same thing...but it was mainly support on how to load the drum of the machine, test it, and calibrate it.

[sabotai]

Yeah, temporary agencies do that a lot and it's really irritating.

I went to a temp agency twice to find work, and both times they did this to me. The first time, though, I made sure to leave on good terms because the people there were nice and it wasn't their fault some bitch lied her ass off to me. The second time, the manager at the place I was sent to work for was a total asshole, so I just left.

[finkenst]

Yeah, temporary agencies do that a lot and it's really irritating. I was told that I'd be doing one thing and when I got to the place, it was completely different. I told my supervisor and he was embarassed and apologized. The next day I called the temp agency and had a talk with the woman that sent me on assignment. She was embarassed as well but lucky for me, I got a job quickly after that so no harm done.

i went to work for a consultant firm.. I got offered XXx/year conditioned to finding a job...

anyway, i got interviewed for a unix admin job.. was asked if i knew anything about networking, dropped cisco and bgp keywords, got offered a position that i was unqualified for... learned a bunch during their window of preparing for a massive upgrade and voila, i'm still there working as the tech team lead. :)


--tim

[JeeberD]

I'm boring...I think the shortest amount of time I've ever worked at a non-Summer job was four months. And I've never not given my two weeks...

[Eaglesfan27]

About 2 months ago, we hired an old child psychiatrist who had decided to come out of retirement to make some extra money. We were desperate for someone as the wait time for a new eval with myself or my colleague is 3-4 months. So, we were very excited when he started. He saw one patient and then announced to our clinic manager that he made a mistake and was going immediately back into retirement. I guess I should be glad that he didn't just leave without a word.

[CamEdwards]

Man - you've got to be kidding! After all the inappropriate stories you've told here, you aren't going to tell us what happened with the parrot???? You suck!

And now you figured out the parrot part of the story.

HA, fucking sandwiches and fellating parrots since 1992.

[MacroGuru]

HA, fucking sandwiches and fellating parrots since 1992.

QOTM!

[Lorena]

And now you figured out the parrot part of the story.

HA, fucking sandwiches and fellating parrots since 1992.

And got an untweetable canarial disease.

[Groundhog]

We had a guy start at the call centre here where I work a few months ago. On his first day he arrived an hour late due to "car troubles". Then on the second day he messaged in to his boss saying that he couldn't make it because he had to take his girlfriend to hospital for some reason or another. Never saw the guy again.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I remember my first job back when I was 19. I did half a shift, ate lunch, realized that the food didn't get that awful taste out of my mouth, and I didn't return to that job until I turned 28.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

I did half a shift, ate lunch, realized that the food didn't get that awful taste out of my mouth, and I didn't return to that job until I turned 28.

Oh, so you were a male whore before?

:D

[Pumpy Tudors]

Oh, so you were a male whore before?

:D
Well, that depends. Do you want in on this?

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Well, that depends. Do you want in on this?

Oh Pumpy, you're way out of my price range. :)

[Izulde]

My first year of college, I got a volunteer job as head coach of a middle school girls' rec league volleyball team.

Since it'd been a while since I'd done much of volleyball, I made up this big binder of information on the game, coaching tips and drill ideas, etc.

I get to the first practice. About 10 girls there and my assistant coach, who was also a girl and also a university student. Talked to her a few minutes before practice start, go through the whole team introduction, etc.

I realized after about 20 seconds that A: I had no idea what I was doing and B: my assistant was a hell of a volleyball coach, since she'd played in high school.

2 minutes later, while she's running the girls through a setting drill, I pull her aside, hand her the binder and say, "You know what you're doing. I don't. Take this and good luck. I'm sorry."

Turned around, walked out the gymnasium and never went back.

[oliegirl]

Oh, so you were a male whore before?

:D

OH SNAP!

Well played Farrah!

[Chief Rum]

Used to happen all the time at the call center I worked at.

Just like you said it too. They'd show up at 8, bring small things like a coffee mug, pictures, day planner, etc. They'd pack all of it up before lunch and we'd never see them again.

Not sure how anyone could do that, but a lot of people do.

Reminds me strangely enough of my first day with a new work group when I first entered the title industry. I had been working in another group for two weeks, getting the feel for things, but they needed some help in this newer group and moved me over there. First day I sit down with the supervisor (a guy about my age) and he's showing me how to do what I will be doing (it was basically data entry at that point). We get through a handful of files, and then he tells me it's time for lunch. So we go our separate ways.

I come back an hour later, but I don't see the supervisor. I have a seat and wait. I figure he'll be back any time. Some time passes. I start looking around. I start fiddling with some of the files on the desk, trying to familiarize myself with them so that we can do them faster when we get to work. Pretty soon, an hour has passed. No supe. So the big boss comes by and I stop her and ask her if she's seen him or knows where he is? She seemed surprised, so she went into her office and checked her messages. Yup, he called in on his lunch break and quit!

Maybe if I was a hot chick he woulda stuck around, lol. Actually, he ended up getting rehired by another company division--some standards we got, eh?

[DaddyTorgo]

had a girl do this to me one time at starbucks.

she was moving down here to get away from an ex...had a baby...moving back in with her parents...so you think "okay...decent situation."

put her on the schedule for her training for a week and then a week of work (7-3, the clutch shift). First day of training...she calls in...second day...calls in....then never hear from her again.

Mmmhmm...so guess who had to cover half of those 7-3 shifts in addition to his 40hrs? that's right...your's truly.

[Chief Rum]

I did this once....okay...twice.


The first time was when I was 18. I got a job at Toys 'R' Us during the holidays. Right out of the gate, I worked 9 full days in a row. Then, we had "Black Friday" which was just insane. The worst part about the job is that they wouldn't let me leave the register for any reason. When there were no customers, I still couldn't even walk 10 feet away. There were hours where I'd just stand there and daydream about opening up one of the super soakers and launching a full-out guerilla-style war on my fellow employees.

One day, about three weeks into the job, I showed up wearing jeans. This was a no-no. "khakis only". So they told me to go home and get different pants. I didn't have a car, so I decided to make it a permanent search for khaki pants.

The other time was at Mervyn's. I got hired, went through orientation and all of that. Really boring stuff. Then, on my first real work day, they put me in the shoe section. My first customer asked me if I knew where the matching shoe was for the one in her hand. I went over to where she found it, and there was just a massive pile of shoes, boxes, and tissue paper strewn all over. I asked to take my first break, and drove home, never to return!

So...were there any khaki pants in the massive pile of shoes, etc.?

[Chief Rum]

Oh, so you were a male whore before?

:D

lol...I love this thread.

[chesapeake]

Hopefully I can do this story justice. Internships in my Congressional office are pretty highly sought after -- especially since mine is a rare office that pays its interns. One summer the standard-issue college kid intern shows up for work and is taught the ropes by our office manager. It is basic, entry-level stuff -- opening mail, answering phones and greeting folks that come into the office. So the intern, we'll call him Justin (because that is his name) does fine and goes home at the end of the day.

Tuesday morning, he doesn't show up. Time passes, and no Justin, no call, no nothing. About 11 AM, my office manager starts to worry about him. We don't have any specific contact information on him because he hadn't filled out all of his paperwork yet, but we knew roughly what block on Capitol Hill he lived because we talked about it the day before. At that time, it wasn't a particularly nice neighborhood. So she and the legislative director decide to go see if they can find him to make sure he's ok.

They drive out to A St. NE near RFK Stadium and start asking people if they have seen anyone who may have just moved into an apartment or basement nearby. Sure enough, they find a guy working on his car who replies, "A couple of white kids? Oh yeah...over there!"

He introduces them to the building's super, who takes them up to his door. Knock, knock. The door opens, and a disheveled Justin stares at them, stunned. Apparently, he had decided when he got up that morning that he just couldn't find a good reason to come in that day.

The LD expressed his displeasure with that decision in no uncertain terms.

[molson]

Hopefully I can do this story justice. Internships in my Congressional office are pretty highly sought after -- especially since mine is a rare office that pays its interns. One summer the standard-issue college kid intern shows up for work and is taught the ropes by our office manager. It is basic, entry-level stuff -- opening mail, answering phones and greeting folks that come into the office. So the intern, we'll call him Justin (because that is his name) does fine and goes home at the end of the day.

Tuesday morning, he doesn't show up. Time passes, and no Justin, no call, no nothing. About 11 AM, my office manager starts to worry about him. We don't have any specific contact information on him because he hadn't filled out all of his paperwork yet, but we knew roughly what block on Capitol Hill he lived because we talked about it the day before. At that time, it wasn't a particularly nice neighborhood. So she and the legislative director decide to go see if they can find him to make sure he's ok.

They drive out to A St. NE near RFK Stadium and start asking people if they have seen anyone who may have just moved into an apartment or basement nearby. Sure enough, they find a guy working on his car who replies, "A couple of white kids? Oh yeah...over there!"

He introduces them to the building's super, who takes them up to his door. Knock, knock. The door opens, and a disheveled Justin stares at them, stunned. Apparently, he had decided when he got up that morning that he just couldn't find a good reason to come in that day.

The LD expressed his displeasure with that decision in no uncertain terms.

Let me guess, this kid got his internship because he "knew somebody" rather than through merit and an interview process. (And in so doing, took the job away from a non-connected kid who would have worked his ass off)

[chesapeake]

Nope, not even close. The kid got the internship through the state university's fairly prestigious school of government and underwent an extensive interview process. In fact, he was supposed to get college credit for it. That is what surprised me most about him not showing up. I think he just thought that he would start writing legislation on his first day on the job.

[gstelmack]

And got an untweetable canarial disease.

Sorry I wasn't paying attention and didn't see it sooner, but I thought this was worth an acknowledgement: well played! :D

[molson]

Nope, not even close. The kid got the internship through the state university's fairly prestigious school of government and underwent an extensive interview process. In fact, he was supposed to get college credit for it. That is what surprised me most about him not showing up. I think he just thought that he would start writing legislation on his first day on the job.

My bad - but did anyone tell him what he'd be doing at an interview?

Sorry, I've applied to a billion government internships, summer jobs, and post-graduate jobs and it always seems like an uphill climb. I eventually found my way in the back door without any contacts, but this isn't the first story I've heard like this. I just want to slap that kid around.

[MikeVic]

And got an untweetable canarial disease.

Har har har.

[Lorena]

Har har har.

Thanks for the sarcastic laugh butty, at least gstelmack appreciates my humoUr.

[Balldog]

I've heard of this happening more often than one would think.

I can think of two right now. The one guy left at lunch and never came back, the other guy never came back after his first day. I almost did the same thing, but I just had a baby and we just bought a house so I didn't.

Here I am 7 months later, hoping to resign very soon. Last Monday I got so pissed off I just took the rest of the week off, either that or I was going to quit. When I do resign I'm not sure how I am going to handle it, I think I'll turn in my two weeks but I know they'll walk me out the same day I resign or just treat me like shit for two weeks. The last two guys that have resigned they sent to a customer for a week to a week and a half then when they got back they walked them out, basically used them.

I've also just thought about calling and letting them know I'm not coming back but I don't know that I could do it.

[Lorena]

I've heard of this happening more often than one would think.

I can think of two right now. The one guy left at lunch and never came back, the other guy never came back after his first day. I almost did the same thing, but I just had a baby and we just bought a house so I didn't.

Here I am 7 months later, hoping to resign very soon. Last Monday I got so pissed off I just took the rest of the week off, either that or I was going to quit. When I do resign I'm not sure how I am going to handle it, I think I'll turn in my two weeks but I know they'll walk me out the same day I resign or just treat me like shit for two weeks. The last two guys that have resigned they sent to a customer for a week to a week and a half then when they got back they walked them out, basically used them.

I've also just thought about calling and letting them know I'm not coming back but I don't know that I could do it.

May I suggest

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rni/lowres/rnin113l.jpg

or

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/tbr/lowres/tbrn78l.jpg

[MikeVic]

Thanks for the sarcastic laugh butty, at least gstelmack appreciates my humoUr.

It was funny!!

[King of New York]

I bailed on a job in a chemical plant after three days. We were making shampoo, cosmetics, and things like that. I had to wear a gasmask that looked like World War I army surplus, and the area I worked in was easily 90 degrees farenheit. After getting doused in hot oil and who knows what else a couple of times, I decided to go back to my old job as a shipping clerk. I would've told my boss that I wasn't coming back, but no one could hear anything over the sound of the machinery.

[Young Drachma]

Nope, not even close. The kid got the internship through the state university's fairly prestigious school of government and underwent an extensive interview process. In fact, he was supposed to get college credit for it. That is what surprised me most about him not showing up. I think he just thought that he would start writing legislation on his first day on the job.

Oh yeah. I've been on both sides of that. They fail to realize people have memories, too.

[chesapeake]

My bad - but did anyone tell him what he'd be doing at an interview?

Sorry, I've applied to a billion government internships, summer jobs, and post-graduate jobs and it always seems like an uphill climb. I eventually found my way in the back door without any contacts, but this isn't the first story I've heard like this. I just want to slap that kid around.

Although I suspect the answer is 'yes', I am not part of the hiring process so I can't say definitively. From my own experience, when I took an internship in this office back in 1991, it never occurred to me that I would be doing a whole lot more than entry-level stuff to start. It seems like common sense. I knew I was capable of more than that, but at 20 years old one can hardly expect to be running the wheels of government.

I can say that of the 50+ interns and fellows that have come through my office during my time here, only 1 thought the same thing as he did. She was a real prize, surly and lazy. But at least she stuck it out for a couple of months before we had to let her go.

The kid got humiliated, as he should have been. I expect that he also had a lot of explaining to do to his academic advisor and the internship committee. Hopefully he learned something.

[PilotMan]

There are stories in my company of flight attendants going to the bathroom between flights, then dissappearing. When the someone goes to find them all they find is thier uniform hanging in the bathroom. It happens.

[Passacaglia]

Maybe she was hoping this would happen:

Cops: Palatine man took almost $500,000 in pay for job he never had
By Sara Faiwell | Daily Herald Staff
Published: 1/16/2008 5:37 PM | Updated: 1/17/2008 12:09 AM
For five years, a New Jersey company has been depositing thousands of dollars in paychecks to a Palatine man's bank account.

During that time, 34-year-old Anthony Armatys collected about $470,000, police say.

The catch? Armatys never worked for Avaya, a communications company based in Basking Ridge, N.J.

Around 7 a.m. Wednesday, Armatys was arrested at his home on Flake Drive and charged with one count of theft by deception for knowingly accepting paychecks for a job he never had.

Authorities said the deception dates back to 2002, when Armatys was offered a position with Avaya, which he accepted. But he backed out before actually starting the job, said Wayne Forrest, the Somerset County prosecutor in New Jersey.

Wednesday's arrest came after an 11-month investigation by New Jersey detectives.

It started when Avaya auditors discovered the payroll checks being deposited into Armatys' account as part of a system error.

New Jersey authorities said their probe also found that Armatys had withdrawn about $2,000 from an employee retirement savings account to which Avaya had contributed.

Authorities said Armatys claimed to be an Avaya employee when he called Fidelity Investments, which administered the fund, to set up the transfer of the money into his personal account.

"I've been in this business now over 30 years and I don't recall a case with facts like this," said Forrest. "This is highly unusual."

Bail was set at $50,000 and Armatys is awaiting extradition to New Jersey.

Palatine police would not discuss the case.

A woman who answered the phone at a number listed for Tony Armatys at the Flake Drive address said the family had "no comment at all."

[johnnyshaka]

Similar thing happened to me when I went back to school. At the time I was working for the federal gov't and was on a one year leave of absence w/out pay. But, after noticing that I was still getting paid I notified my boss and she said she would take care of it. Well, it took them six months to stop paying me and then 3 years to finally ask for the money back. Worked out great for me...I "earned" enough to live on while I was in school and by the time they asked for it back I was making enough money that I had no problem paying it back. Call it an interest free loan from the Feds so I could go back to school...damn, we have it pretty sweet up here!!!

[sterlingice]

I just got to this thread but it's pure gold. Great thread :D

SI

[M GO BLUE!!!]

And got an untweetable canarial disease.

Wow...


I worked at a Pizza Hut for four hours and walked out the door with a pie I made myself at lunch. I had been hired to do deliveries, but was informed that I would assist in all operations of the place (only doing deliveries when they needed help. So instead of the $8/hour I was told I would be getting it was really $5.25... The manager called me pissed off a week later that I had not come in to work. I told him "In case you didn't figure it out a week ago, I'm not coming back Mr. Genius sir." He yelled that the Pizza Hut shirt I had been given was company property and I would need to return it. I still laugh at that!

The shortest job however was telemarketing. I was fired after one hour. :D

[Logan]

I hope it was at least a stuffed crust.

[B & B]

The shortest job however was telemarketing. I was fired after one hour. :D

I cant tell you how many people Ive seen last that long or shorter.

[Terps]

I had two people do this in the last year in the span of about 2 months. I gave them the keys to turn off the alarm for the back door to take out the trash and after about 5 minutes the alarm goes off. I go back to check and the trash is still by the door, the keys in the alarm, and they're gone.

One of them actually tried coming back to work the next day after they did it.

[wade moore]

The shortest job however was telemarketing. I was fired after one hour. :D

I cant tell you how many people Ive seen last that long or shorter.
+1

[Passacaglia]

So how did you get fired?

[lynchjm24]

I had a sales job in North Carolina for 2 weeks that was miserable. Was supposed to meet the team for breakfast one morning, never made it. They only called once looking for me :).

Another time I interviewed for a job and I guess I accepted it on the phone even though I had no intention of ever showing up. It was just easier to get him off the phone that way.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

So how did you get fired?

I was told to be there at 5p. I was there early, and sat around with a large group of new hires until 6p wondering where the boss was. When he came in, he hands out the timecards and told us to put down that we started at 6p. I asked why we were all told to come in at 5 when we started at 6. He laughed and said "In all my years, nobody has ever been asked to be paid for that first hour. If you want, I will pay you for it." I said yes and was told (with a grin on his face) "You can pick up your check a week from friday. You're fired."

(I know that was a control tactic and likely happens every time. I wonder how many of the group of 40 were left by the end of the week.)


I hope it was at least a stuffed crust.

Nope. They didn't have that yet... But it was loaded with steak and all the things I would never actually pay to get on a pie! So much cheese... so much cheese...

[Passacaglia]

Crazy. People are weird. Did you get a check?

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Crazy. People are weird. Did you get a check?

From the crazy-telemarketing place, yes. When he told me to pick up the check I informed him that he did not want me to ever set foot on his company's property again, so he could deduct the postage from the check if he wanted to. They sent it to me (without deducting the 29 cents!) :D

Really, the $5 or so wasn't worth the trouble of the extra paperwork.

I never got a check from Pizza Hut.

[terpkristin]

This thread has suddenly reminded me of 2 people who worked on my project...or were scheduled to work on my project...in somewhat managerial type positions. It actually lead us (some of the others on the project) to think the job was cursed.

The first guy in the position, from the proposal phase through the preliminary design review, was a guy who's been with the company for a long time. I don't think he was ever intended to be a member of the project "forever," he was just there until we found the right person for the job. This guy is still with the company, in the same role on another project.

He was replaced by a guy who'd been a contractor on another project at our company for awhile (at least 6 months), and apparently was hired by the company to fill this role. He got assigned an office (a window office no less), got his computer all set up, and was there for about a week, during which I saw him about 3 times (given that my office was 3 doors down from his, this was surprising). When I hadn't seen him for awhile (about a week), I asked someone if he was on travel, and was informed that he'd quit after 2 weeks "officially" being in the company, 4 days after joining our program. We have assumed that he got an offer from another company and jumped on it...

While talking about how funny it was that this guy was with us for such a short time, I was informed that we HAD hired somebody else for the position. In our comapny, new hires always start on a Monday, and that first Monday is full of paperwork, intro training, etc. Apparently he had called on what was to be his first Monday morning, saying he'd gotten a DUI the previous week, and it wasn't his first, so his license was suspended, and he wouldn't be able to come down to northern Virginia for the job.

So, technically, he probably had the job for a week or so but never actually "started."

I'm happy to report that the guy who currently fills that position is a) excellent and b) has been an employee at the company for awhile (before starting in this position, he had a similar role with not as much power on another program I worked on), and c) is still with us (and it's been probably about 7 months since I think he officially took on the position).

:)
At least the story has a happy ending. :)

/tk

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Another good one was my first real job... Washing dishes & bussing tables at a steakhouse when I was 15 (my god... my daughter is that old now!)

I hated it and one day I had a ton of homework to do and really didn't feel like going in anyway. Now at 15, I was not the level-headed and well adjusted gentleman I am today so I just didn't go in. The manager called and informs me I was late. I told him I wasn't coming in and was quitting. He started yelling, so I hung up. What kind of manager gets all bent out of shape over a 15 year old bus boy anyway? The kind who calls back and asks to speak to your mother! I just laughed and hung up.

Now when I went to get my check it got interesting. I walk in and see the manager. I ask him for my check. He tells me it is on the desk in the office. When I enter the office the safe is open and there are stacks of money just sitting out on the desk. There had to be a few thousand there. I had never seen so much money just piled up and sitting out in the open! While I was only 15 and pretty stupid I was never THAT stupid, so I went and got the asst manager, told him the deal and asked him to get my check because I was not going to touch anything in there. He looked annoyed with the manager with a serious WTF attitude. :)

[M GO BLUE!!!]

At least the story has a happy ending. :)

/tk

You work in a massage parlor?



:p

[RomaGoth]

Couldn't resist sharing this one.

We just hired a new accounting person. She was replacing quite possibly the most vile human being I've ever worked with. Universally loathed.

Anyway, yesterday was her first day. She left for lunch.

...and never returned. Not a word to anyone. Took her pictures she brought in, and took off. Wheeeee!

Damn that is funny. She might call you for a reference though.....:eek:

[Coffee Warlord]

I cannot make this shit up.

Our replacement for Miss Employee of the Year? Quit after 4 days. At least she said something.

[DaddyTorgo]

I cannot make this shit up.

Our replacement for Miss Employee of the Year? Quit after 4 days. At least she said something.

HAHAHA....that's great. Didn't sound like your job was THAT bad...what gives?

Hey...do you folks need a new HR person so that you hire someone that actually stays on the job?

[SteveMax58]

HAHAHA....that's great. Didn't sound like your job was THAT bad...what gives?

Hey...do you folks need a new HR person so that you hire someone that actually stays on the job?

I believe that IS the HR person.

[Coffee Warlord]

HAHAHA....that's great. Didn't sound like your job was THAT bad...what gives?

My job is pretty good.

To be fair, you have a lot of responsibility and have to wear a lot of different hats for The Cursed Position at our office. It's basically a combo of accounting and HR. Lot of stuff to deal with. We've now had 4 controllers since the one who'd been here 10+ years left for a CFO position several months ago.

But still. This is ridiculous.

[Balldog]

Well I did it today, I had finally had enough. Once I received my job offer from my previous employer, I handed in my resignation. I gave two weeks notice but told them I'll be taking my two weeks of vacation during that time.

My boss said, don't you think you should at least give a real two weeks notice? I said, no its more important to me to go finally spend some time with my son.

So I've got until March 17th off, paid! :)

[BrianD]

So you don't think you should have given them a real two week notice? Considering they would have paid out vacation anyway, you basically just quit with no notice. Seems fairly crappy to me.

Good luck with the new job though.

[lordscarlet]

So you don't think you should have given them a real two week notice? Considering they would have paid out vacation anyway, you basically just quit with no notice. Seems fairly crappy to me.

Good luck with the new job though.

+1

[Balldog]

They've known I've been on my way out for at least a month. Working 60-70 hours a week, when I was told I would be working 40 and working almost every Saturday when I was told I would be working no Saturdays is crappy to me. I've done plenty to help the company.

What did I ever get for putting in all those unpaid hours? Three quotes from the Plant Manager.

"Your lucky we are not having this conversion ten years ago, cause I'd punch you in the face."

"Get the fuck out of here." Then I leave and he calls me at home asking why I left. Dumbass.

"Why are you so unhappy?" To which I replied the hours weren't what I expected, he says "I'm not going to listen to you complain."

[Balldog]

Dola, Not to mention 5 expense reports from 2007 that I have yet to get paid for. I could go on but you get the drift.

When I talked to my co-workers they said I was doing the right thing but just leaving.

[wade moore]

Another proud FOFC Adult!

[molson]

Hopefully you won't be looking for a new job again anytime soon, that'll be a huge red flag for future employers.

[lordscarlet]

Hopefully you won't be looking for a new job again anytime soon, that'll be a huge red flag for future employers.

Except the way litigation is these days, I don't think you're allowed to say anything negative about a former employee if called for a reference. Future employees will have no knowledge of the ass hattery.

[molson]

Except the way litigation is these days, I don't think you're allowed to say anything negative about a former employee if called for a reference. Future employees will have no knowledge of the ass hattery.

I'm pretty sure you can say something factual - "he gave 2 weeks notice and then used his vacation time those days".

[Lorena]

Well I did it today, I had finally had enough. Once I received my job offer from my previous employer, I handed in my resignation. I gave two weeks notice but told them I'll be taking my two weeks of vacation during that time.

My boss said, don't you think you should at least give a real two weeks notice? I said, no its more important to me to go finally spend some time with my son.

So I've got until March 17th off, paid! :)

That is awesome Balldog congrats :)

[Glengoyne]

I worked nights in a bank once, data processing. I ran the section that made sure everything was balanced before sending the deposit off to the Fed each night. The guy who supervised the actual night operators was training a new hire one night. About half way through the new guy asked if I'd let him out the door. I did, and about twenty minutes later the DP guy came up to me asking me if I'd seen his trainee. The guy never came back.

Just a few months ago at the office one of our marketing girls, a temp to hire, left for lunch. A couple of hours later her boyfriend called the temp agency to tell them that someone had done something to her that was so terrible that she would never come back to the office again. When they checked her cube all of her personal items were gone, and we never solved the mystery of who did what to her.

[stevew]

I'm pretty sure you can say something factual - "he gave 2 weeks notice and then used his vacation time those days".

I thought they were pretty much limited to "he is not eligible for re-hire" these days.

[Fidatelo]

...about twenty minutes later the DP guy came up to me asking me if I'd seen his trainee. The guy never came back.

This quote out of context is awesome. However, a little more cropping and adding it to a different context makes it even better:

Just a few months ago at the office one of our marketing girls, a temp to hire, left for lunch. A couple of hours later her boyfriend called the temp agency to tell them that someone had done something to her that was so terrible that she would never come back to the office again. When they checked her cube all of her personal items were gone, and we never solved the mystery of who did what to her.

...about twenty minutes later the DP guy came up to me asking me if I'd seen his trainee.

[Coffee Warlord]

Unbelievable.

The original nasty bitch accountant who we fired? We discovered her parting shot today. Turns out she got the President of the company knocked off the dental plan.

[Alan T]

Unbelievable.

The original nasty bitch accountant who we fired? We discovered her parting shot today. Turns out she got the President of the company knocked off the dental plan.

You mean she went in and had him removed by filing the paperwork with the insurance company to remove him? I would have to believe that type of thing is illegal and prosecutable right? I know from an IT sense, someone that is likely to be fired or laid off from a company who might go in and set up some kind of time bomb or future failure of the company's application/network/system/whatever on purpose can be prosecuted for it, so would have to assume something like this would be too..

[Coffee Warlord]

Yep. She apparently instructed the insurance provider to cease coverage for him as of 2/29.

I'm sure it's quite illegal, and I'm equally sure we prolly won't bother doing anything about it.

[st.cronin]

Wait, she did that on her first day?

[Coffee Warlord]

Different person, and turns out she didn't do it. MetLife fucked up.

Pity. It woulda been more fun to blame her.

[Lorena]

Doh, I was gonna say all kinds of nasty things.