This Must Be An Explanation For Something

[Ksyrup]

NICKELBACK Frontman's Stunning Admission: "I Put My Own D**k In My Mouth' - Mar. 12, 2008

The Pulse of Radio reports that NICKELBACK frontman Chad Kroeger makes some startling revelations about himself in a new interview with Playboy magazine. The singer and guitarist admits that he had a lengthy career as a thief during his junior high and high school years in his Canadian hometown of Hanna, Alberta, admitting, "I broke into my junior high school about 11 times and found the combination to this walk-in safe. God, it was like my personal ATM." Kroeger also admits that he stole a small truck and spent some time in juvenile hall, adding, "I just thought it was fun to be bad."

Kroeger also cops to shoplifting, fighting, driving drunk and dealing drugs, but perhaps his most stunning admission is what he did once for a case of beer. Kroeger explained, "I put my own d*** in my mouth. I was 14 and much more flexible at the time. It was soft and required a lot of pulling. I really wanted that case of beer."

Kroeger is currently facing a drunk driving charge stemming from an incident on June 22, 2006, when British Columbia police stopped him for speeding and charged him with impaired driving. A recent attempt by his attorney to have the case thrown out because of an alleged unlawful search by the police was denied by the judge.

NICKELBACK is currently in "discussions" with its label over renegotiating its contract for substantially more money. Although the band has three albums left on its current deal, Kroeger told Playboy that his leverage is "not to record."

The band is expected to begin work on its next album later this year after a September series of arena shows in the UK.

[rkmsuf]

NICKELBACK is currently in "discussions" with its label over renegotiating its contract for substantially more money. Although the band has three albums left on its current deal, Kroeger told Playboy that his leverage is "not to record."


That's the record company's leverage!

[stevew]

I hope he holds out for a long long time until he gets a good deal. Stay strong Chad, even if it takes you 10 more years to put out your next collection of vile shit.

[Ksyrup]

I like the fact that he goes out of his way to tell us his dick was "soft" when he did it.

Dude, you sucked your own dick. Do you want props for not getting an erection while you did it?

[rkmsuf]

for two cases he'll do you in da butt

[RendeR]

I don't get the extreme hatred for this band.

yes this guy is a completely worthless piece of donkey shit

yes the music in general is bland and pretty forgetful

So is 99% of music today?

Why do these guys get so utterly thrashed on every board, interview, story, ANYTHING that I see? Can someone clarify?

[rkmsuf]

I don't get the extreme hatred for this band.

yes this guy is a completely worthless piece of donkey shit

yes the music in general is bland and pretty forgetful

So is 99% of music today?

Why do these guys get so utterly thrashed on every board, interview, story, ANYTHING that I see? Can someone clarify?

exhibit 1: he sucked his own dick

[Drake]

exhibit 1: he sucked his own dick

Heh.

[Ksyrup]

I don't get the extreme hatred for this band.

yes this guy is a completely worthless piece of donkey shit

yes the music in general is bland and pretty forgetful

So is 99% of music today?

Why do these guys get so utterly thrashed on every board, interview, story, ANYTHING that I see? Can someone clarify?

I just thought the story was funny as hell.

But to your broader question, isn't this the Barry Bonds Effect? You take the most successful person at doing something particular that you don't like, and you trash the hell out of them. The same could be said about steroids - where's the outrage over Mike Cameron?

I think Hurst2112 has posted that he was involved in one of their album recordings and found them to be pretty nice. I have nothing personal against them. And in fact, as little as I listen to the radio, I pretty much avoid hearing their music. It's just that when I do, and I can sing along to a new song with the chorus of the only song of theirs I really know - and I've done this at least 3 times that I can recall with specific, new songs - it irritates me. And because they are so successful, they get the brunt of the shit that could be piled on other, less successful bands who do the same thing.

I don't begrudge them for making millions of dollars writing music people obviously like. I'm just not a fan of how they do it. And admitting you sucked your own dick just paints another few rings on the bulls-eye, doesn't it?

[Subby]

exhibit 1: he sucked his own dick
Hahaha. That made me chortle.

[Passacaglia]

I don't get the extreme hatred for this band.

yes this guy is a completely worthless piece of donkey shit

yes the music in general is bland and pretty forgetful

So is 99% of music today?

Why do these guys get so utterly thrashed on every board, interview, story, ANYTHING that I see? Can someone clarify?

Do they really get trashed more than anyone else? I mean, I figure the Britneys and the boy bands get as much trash. And in this genre, Creed is probably more universally hated than Nickelback.

[stevew]

I keep waiting for them to have their "Rock Me Tonight" moment.

[wade moore]

It's just that when I do, and I can sing along to a new song with the chorus of the only song of theirs I really know - and I've done this at least 3 times that I can recall with specific, new songs - it irritates me.

"Like a paperback novel..."

[DeToxRox]

This is how you remind me of a shitty band

[Julio Riddols]

For me, its not so much the band, but the people that listen to the band that bother me.. Not saying it is true for everyone, but typically the only people I see who like Nickleback have questionable music tastes in my opinion anyway. These are the types that like stupid movies too, like the later additions to the American Pie series for instance (I have shit better movies than these)

So for me, though it is not indicative of the overall personality of everyone that listens to Nickleback, those who I do know that listen to the band are generally annoying to me and have a tendency to lack much in the way of logic.. It could just be where I live, but the reason I dislike the band so much is that their formulaic cookie cutter pop rock is considered to be of high quality by a majority of people I think are literally missing a little something upstairs. The type of dumbasses who enjoy doing a lot of the same things Mr. Kroeger does.

[sachmo71]

I like the fact that he goes out of his way to tell us his dick was "soft" when he did it.

Dude, you sucked your own dick. Do you want props for not getting an erection while you did it?

LOLZ

[Passacaglia]

For me, its not so much the band, but the people that listen to the band that bother me.. Not saying it is true for everyone, but typically the only people I see who like Nickleback have questionable music tastes in my opinion anyway. These are the types that like stupid movies too, like the later additions to the American Pie series for instance (I have shit better movies than these)

So for me, though it is not indicative of the overall personality of everyone that listens to Nickleback, those who I do know that listen to the band are generally annoying to me and have a tendency to lack much in the way of logic.. It could just be where I live, but the reason I dislike the band so much is that their formulaic cookie cutter pop rock is considered to be of high quality by a majority of people I think are literally missing a little something upstairs. The type of dumbasses who enjoy doing a lot of the same things Mr. Kroeger does.

If it's any consolation, it sounds like this guy likes Clerks more than American Pie, anyway.

[stevew]

I thought the AP:Naked Mile was stupid, but it had a high density of tits to minutes. Let's face it, exposed young supple breasts are becoming rarer and rarer in all but pr0n these days.

[Draft Dodger]

Do they really get trashed more than anyone else? I mean, I figure the Britneys and the boy bands get as much trash. And in this genre, Creed is probably more universally hated than Nickelback.

Nickelback is also known as the Canadian Creed.

I think the negative feedback, at least before discovering the singer blows his own horn, is that these two bands sell themselves as these big rockers but they seem kind of poofy.

I personally don't think Nickelback is all that terrible. I don't really like their frou-frou stuff, and they are notoriously repetitive in their songwriting, but they've got some strong guitarists and their more uptempo stuff can be pretty good.

[Pumpy Tudors]

For me, its not so much the band, but the people that listen to the band that bother me.. Not saying it is true for everyone, but typically the only people I see who like Nickleback have questionable music tastes in my opinion anyway. These are the types that like stupid movies too, like the later additions to the American Pie series for instance (I have shit better movies than these)

So for me, though it is not indicative of the overall personality of everyone that listens to Nickleback, those who I do know that listen to the band are generally annoying to me and have a tendency to lack much in the way of logic.. It could just be where I live, but the reason I dislike the band so much is that their formulaic cookie cutter pop rock is considered to be of high quality by a majority of people I think are literally missing a little something upstairs. The type of dumbasses who enjoy doing a lot of the same things Mr. Kroeger does.
I'll be stopping by Home Depot on the way home from work tonight. Would you like me to pick up a ladder to help you get down off that horse?

[Drake]

I think the negative feedback, at least before discovering the singer blows his own horn, is that these two bands sell themselves as these big rockers but they seem kind of poofy.

Yes, because notorious rockers Poison, Motley Crue, Cinderella and Faster Pussycat (from our generation) were *so* not-poofy. :)

(Not criticizing your point at all, DD, because I completely agree. Just can't help chuckling to myself about how non-conscious we were about this sort of thing back in our day.)

[MJ4H]

I'll be stopping by Home Depot on the way home from work tonight. Would you like me to pick up a ladder to help you get down off that horse?

Probably doesn't want to come down. I know I don't. It is a nice view up here.

GIDDYUP

[rkmsuf]

haha, pumpy likes nickelback and self dick suckers

[Ksyrup]

For me, its not so much the band, but the people that listen to the band that bother me.. Not saying it is true for everyone, but typically the only people I see who like Nickleback have questionable music tastes in my opinion anyway. These are the types that like stupid movies too, like the later additions to the American Pie series for instance (I have shit better movies than these)

So for me, though it is not indicative of the overall personality of everyone that listens to Nickleback, those who I do know that listen to the band are generally annoying to me and have a tendency to lack much in the way of logic.. It could just be where I live, but the reason I dislike the band so much is that their formulaic cookie cutter pop rock is considered to be of high quality by a majority of people I think are literally missing a little something upstairs. The type of dumbasses who enjoy doing a lot of the same things Mr. Kroeger does.

See, I completely disagree with this, because the fact of the matter is, there are just some people who whom music just isn't that big a deal. I don't see that as a personal failing, it's just their likes/dislikes and personal preference. And for them, the "artistic quality" of music is irrelevant - if they like it for whatever reason, it could be high art and it could be radio fodder. But it seems to me that most people just want music as background listening, or for dancing, or parties, or whatever.

And that's fine. For me, that's not how I approach music at all. Here's the extent to which I "listen" to music - when I'm in the car with my family, and my wife wants to discuss something, I don't just turn down the sound, I stop the CD completely, so I can pick back up where I was before my wife started talking. Or if the kids are making too much noise, or they're watching a movie and I can't listen to my music like I want to, I'll just turn it off and listen to ESPN Radio or something. I totally get that I am in a very small minority.

That point is driven home even more for me because with movies, I'm just the opposite. I hard ever watch movies anymore, but even when I do, I only like watching comedies, and usually stupid ones at that. I'm the movie-equivalent to a Nickleback listener. Movies and acting in general just don't mean shit to me, and I don't care if some movie has great acting (couldn't tell it if you pointed it out to me) or is written incredibly well, I just don't care. I just want veg-style entertainment from movies (and TV, as well, which explains why I watch so much reality TV).

So that's why, as someone who cares deeply about music as an artistic expression, I will generally take shots at certain artists. But hey, whatever makes you money, do it. Just don't expect me to think it's good music.

[hhiipp]

Jesus, if I could slob my own knob I'd never leave home and you guys are ragging on him!

[Ksyrup]

I might have felt that way at 14, but once I developed the ability to attract (or convince) someone to do it for me, I kinda stopped thinking like that. And I can't say I ever tried, either.

[rkmsuf]

Jesus, if I could slob my own knob I'd never leave home and you guys are ragging on him!

I presume you'd swallow?

[Pumpy Tudors]

haha, pumpy likes nickelback and self dick suckers
now wait i never said that

[MrBug708]

I don't get the extreme hatred for this band.

yes this guy is a completely worthless piece of donkey shit

yes the music in general is bland and pretty forgetful

So is 99% of music today?

Why do these guys get so utterly thrashed on every board, interview, story, ANYTHING that I see? Can someone clarify?

Because Creed isn't together anymore

[Dr. Sak]

Didn't Marilyn Manson have ribs removed so he could do this?

[lordscarlet]

Didn't Marilyn Manson have ribs removed so he could do this?

hxxp://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/ribs.asp

[Ksyrup]

Didn't Marilyn Manson have ribs removed so he could do this?

hxxp://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/ribs.asp

There's a section about Manson, although the article is about Cher.

[Ksyrup]

hxxp://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/ribs.asp

Beat me to it!

[Critch]

Didn't Marilyn Manson have ribs removed so he could do this?

Was that before or after he was on The Wonder Years?

[DaddyTorgo]

Yes, because notorious rockers Poison, Motley Crue, Cinderella and Faster Pussycat (from our generation) were *so* not-poofy. :)

(Not criticizing your point at all, DD, because I completely agree. Just can't help chuckling to myself about how non-conscious we were about this sort of thing back in our day.)


Don't fuck with Poison and Faster Pussycat or the shit will hit the fan.

Wait...as long as you're not talkin trash about Skid Row we're okay.

[Drake]

Don't fuck with Poison and Faster Pussycat or the shit will hit the fan.

Wait...as long as you're not talkin trash about Skid Row we're okay.

Not fucking with them at all. Those are some of my favorite bands of all time. (And speaking of Skid Row, you'd do well to pick up Sebastian Bach's latest solo effort "Angel Down", but I digress...)

But looking back, you realize that if the guys from Poison circa-1987 or 1988 walked into a bar now with their full-on, kick-ass hair metal gear on, it wouldn't be a chick they'd be leaving with, right? That's like the ultimate definition of "poofy" in my book.

And for the record, I'm listening to my "Best of Poison" CD right now.

[Julio Riddols]

I'll be stopping by Home Depot on the way home from work tonight. Would you like me to pick up a ladder to help you get down off that horse?

I know what I wrote there makes me come off as holier than thou, but that was not my intention. I was simply trying to explain my personal reason for not liking Nickleback. If you lived in a town like I do, where I could honestly say it probably doubles as a Jerry Springer farm team, you might have the same outlook. We're talking about literal inbred idiots. I don't call them that to be derogatory, thats just what many of the people around here actually are. And Nickleback just happens to play like a soundtrack around here. I hope thats a better explanation- I guess I can't apologize for the way I feel though. Thats just how it is. EMMV.

[Ksyrup]

But looking back, you realize that if the guys from Poison circa-1987 or 1988 walked into a bar now with their full-on, kick-ass hair metal gear on, it wouldn't be a chick they'd be leaving with, right? That's like the ultimate definition of "poofy" in my book.

Apparently you've never heard of Metal Skool.

[Julio Riddols]

See, I completely disagree with this, because the fact of the matter is, there are just some people who whom music just isn't that big a deal. I don't see that as a personal failing, it's just their likes/dislikes and personal preference. And for them, the "artistic quality" of music is irrelevant - if they like it for whatever reason, it could be high art and it could be radio fodder. But it seems to me that most people just want music as background listening, or for dancing, or parties, or whatever.

And that's fine. For me, that's not how I approach music at all. Here's the extent to which I "listen" to music - when I'm in the car with my family, and my wife wants to discuss something, I don't just turn down the sound, I stop the CD completely, so I can pick back up where I was before my wife started talking. Or if the kids are making too much noise, or they're watching a movie and I can't listen to my music like I want to, I'll just turn it off and listen to ESPN Radio or something. I totally get that I am in a very small minority.

That point is driven home even more for me because with movies, I'm just the opposite. I hard ever watch movies anymore, but even when I do, I only like watching comedies, and usually stupid ones at that. I'm the movie-equivalent to a Nickleback listener. Movies and acting in general just don't mean shit to me, and I don't care if some movie has great acting (couldn't tell it if you pointed it out to me) or is written incredibly well, I just don't care. I just want veg-style entertainment from movies (and TV, as well, which explains why I watch so much reality TV).

So that's why, as someone who cares deeply about music as an artistic expression, I will generally take shots at certain artists. But hey, whatever makes you money, do it. Just don't expect me to think it's good music.

I agree with a lot of this- The only difference is I am talking about people who are all about Nickleback. Like megafans. They think Nickleback is the best thing ever. Where I live, and I really have only witnessed this here, it is seriously depressing to me in this day and age. I honestly think the populace in this general area consists of 70% closet white supremist extreme christian hypocrites who preach loud but sin louder, 25% relatively normal people of varying styles and cultures, and 5% batshit crazy hill dwellers. Thats all I am saying. A vast majority of the people I associate as being major fans of the band fall into the 70% category. I have my faults just like any other person, and its not really a knock on the band themselves, just that they carry a negative connotation in my mind based on what I associate them with.

[Noop]

Nasty.

[Julio Riddols]

I thought the AP:Naked Mile was stupid, but it had a high density of tits to minutes. Let's face it, exposed young supple breasts are becoming rarer and rarer in all but pr0n these days.

True. The one and only saving grace of any of the recent AP outings has to be the 1/1 ratio of boob flashing scenes to non boob flashing scenes.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Is it bad if I sing cookie-cutter "rock" music and suck someone else's dick?

[rkmsuf]

Is it bad if I sing cookie-cutter "rock" music and suck someone else's dick?

As long as it's a talented and cool rocker's dick.

[Pumpy Tudors]

As long as it's a talented and cool rocker's dick.
Ummm... well, what if the guy isn't exactly a "cool rocker"? What if he writes parody songs and posts them on message boards...?

[Passacaglia]

Just don't sing sucky music while using the cookie-cutter on someone else's dick.

[Ksyrup]

Is it bad if I sing cookie-cutter "rock" music and suck someone else's dick?

You mean like Lita Ford?

[MikeVic]

Link?

[DaddyTorgo]

Not fucking with them at all. Those are some of my favorite bands of all time. (And speaking of Skid Row, you'd do well to pick up Sebastian Bach's latest solo effort "Angel Down", but I digress...)

But looking back, you realize that if the guys from Poison circa-1987 or 1988 walked into a bar now with their full-on, kick-ass hair metal gear on, it wouldn't be a chick they'd be leaving with, right? That's like the ultimate definition of "poofy" in my book.

And for the record, I'm listening to my "Best of Poison" CD right now.

i have been meaning to pick that up. i heard some of it on youtube, particularly the stuff with Axl and it's quality.

Oh of course they wouldn't leave with chicks. Any of them. Wasp, Slaughter, Twisted Sister (well that's a special case, but still) and all the rest too

[Ksyrup]

I'm definitely a "here and now" kinda guy, because with a few exceptions, I have a hard time going back to the music I listened to in high school/college and liking any of it. And I was all over the hard rock scene back then - you throw out Poison, Cinderella, Faster Pussycat, etc., and I'll up the ante with Roxx Gang, Sleez Beez, Jet Red, and Silent Rage - but damn if that doesn't seem like a distant memory, and not a fond one.

Most of the 80s music I listened to back then is the equivalent to the clothes my parents used to wear in the 70s. Lucky for me, music formats have changed so many times I no longer have a closet full of embarrassment waiting to be discovered.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I have a hard time going back to the music I listened to in high school/college and liking any of it.

And I have just the opposite reaction to it, only a few of them really make me cringe a bit now.

And, even better (for me) a lot of them are recording again, including Dokken's new project (sans Lynch unfortunately) which might really be the closest thing they've done to their early work since then ... and that's a good thing.

[Warhammer]

Saying this band sucks has been taken to an entirely different level with this revelation.

[Ksyrup]

Around the time the internet became worthwhile for downloading music and finding some of those 80s albums on CD was next to impossible (either they never made it to CD or were too unpopular at the time to be worth selling), I went through a period where I hunted down MP3s of a bunch of out of print 80s hard rock albums just so I could have them. And after all that work, I realized I didn't enjoy listening to them at all. It was a weird feeling, to reject one of the biggest parts of my adolescence.

Besides, my wife more than makes up for it with her music collection. Except she aims a bit earlier, for the 1980-83 period and bands like Journey, REO, Styx, Night Ranger, etc. - all the bands that were considered rock until hair metal took hold. And thanks to American Idol, she's now a huge Bon Jovi fan as well. I'm thrilled.

[DanGarion]

exhibit 1: he sucked his own dick

But everyone loves Ron Jeremy.

[Crim]

Someone -- I refuse to go back to see who -- posted the words: "Best of Poison".

Comedy gold.

[Ksyrup]

Speaking of 80s hard rock, I just ran across promos for new CDs by Whitesnake, House of Lords, and White Lion.

[korme]

This is how you remind me of a shitty band

Detox for the win




-and Julio, too


the JR and Ksyrup discussion reminds me of the Squid and the Whale scene:

Bernard Berkman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001099/): Ivan is fine but he's not a serious guy, he's a philistine.
Frank Berkman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0997240/): What's a philistine?
Bernard Berkman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001099/): It's a guy who doesn't care about books and interesting films and things.
Bernard Berkman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001099/): Your mother's brother Ned is also a philistine.
Frank Berkman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0997240/): Then I'm a philistine.
Bernard Berkman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001099/): No, you're interested in books and things.