is it ever acceptable to...

[Easy Mac]

Edit - Dislaimer: May contain vague descriptions not suitable for people under the age of 18, or whatever age kids do it these days.



is it ever acceptable to walk in on people while they're breaking up. I need ice, but my suitemate is in the middle of dumping his girl in the living room. so i can't get to the ice for my scotch (trying to be classy at midnight). They've been going at it for like 45 minutes now, and i just want a drink.

[Draft Dodger]

yeah - go for it.

the break might do them some good.

[Swaggs]

I think it is rude to expect more than 15 minutes of courtesy per breakup. Go in, sit down, and flip on the TV.

[vex]

They obviously don't want to break up, so yeah, you might as well go in.

[Easy Mac]

it is my tv and x-box, and i did refill the ice tray, and it is my scotch, and she did almost kiss me when she was drunk.

And she has been crying and saying why for the past 20-30 minutes... you know women.

[Marmel]

bring a camcorder

[Easy Mac]

I've been listening at the door, classy i know. taking a couple shots of Goldschlager to tide me over.

I never drank a lot before i turned 21, i've really made up for lost time.

[Draft Dodger]

invite her to have a drink with you

[Easy Mac]

shes hotter than my girlfriend

"Easy Mac silently prays he cleared his girlfriends IE history so she wont stumble upon the site right now."

[vex]

Yeah, definitely take a camcorder.

[vex]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
shes hotter than my girlfriend

"Easy Mac silently prays he cleared his girlfriends IE history so she wont stumble upon the site right now."


I worry about things like that sometimes.

[Easy Mac]

*checks to see how far webcam cord reaches*

[vex]

*Views Easy Mac's webcam*

[bbor]

Is he a bad breaker upper?

[Easy Mac]

I think she's obssesive. I hear a lot of crinkling noises, they better not be having sex on my homework or xbox.

[vex]

Not the x-box!


Hurry, get that webcam rolling!

[Swaggs]

Sounds like you have the potential for some rebound nookie tonight. :)

[Easy Mac]

wow, now these are some fun noises.

*making note not to sit on the yellow couch anymore*

[Swaggs]

Perhaps it is time to move this thread to the dynasty forum?

[vex]

If you know it's the yellow couch, then I take it you're watching?

[vex]

We need somebody who is tired of their g/f, then we can make it an interactive dynasty!

[Easy Mac]

For some reason there is a mirror right outside my part of the apartment... finally came in handy.

and if THEY only knew what has happened on that couch.

[Easy Mac]

Originally posted by vexroid
We need somebody who is tired of their g/f, then we can make it an interactive dynasty!

i'm weary of mine, does that count? A girl asked me today if i wanted to play soccer with her and some friends, and my girl said i couldn't do it, b/c we had to be somewhere tomorrow.

Girls need to learn that when cute girls ask you to do something, it only makes you look possessive and mean.

edit: damn there are some loud sucking noises.

[vex]

This is a great real-time dynasty!

[vex]

Dola

So is this make-up sex or breaking up sex?

[Easy Mac]

i haven't determined that yet... guess i'll find out if she shows up again. Or I can ask her at church :)

[Draft Dodger]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
shes hotter than my girlfriend

"Easy Mac silently prays he cleared his girlfriends IE history so she wont stumble upon the site right now."

there have been interesting threads that I've considered showing my wife.

then I realize what a mistake it would be to give her the link to this site. so, I smarten up and just tell her about the interesting threads in my own words.

[bbor]

smell the couch!

[Draft Dodger]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
i haven't determined that yet... guess i'll find out if she shows up again. Or I can ask her at church :)

do you think they'd be weirded out to know that the play by play of the break up and the after break up nookie is on the internet?

[Easy Mac]

oh well for them, they should have done it in his room, not the living room.

Random thoughts while waiting to get ice:
I need a haircut
I need to pee
I need my girl to listen to give her ideas
i need to be studying
i need to stay away from bbor, and to hold on to my underwear at all costs.

[Lathum]

you can use the scotch to disinfect the couch later...

[vex]

Walk in like you're totally suprised about everything:)

[Easy Mac]

i dont want to risk bringing this to an end too soon.

[Tasan]

Oh heck, now is the perfect time to walk through.

Do-de-do.....I need some i...holy crap dude, my xbox! and the couch! thats never going to come out!

then go get your ice, make your drink, and go back here and report ;- )

[AgPete]

Originally posted by Easy Mac

is it ever acceptable to walk in on people while they're breaking up.


No.

Originally posted by Easy Mac

shes hotter than my girlfriend
damn there are some loud sucking noises.


Okay, now it's acceptable. :D

[Travis]

I know it's probably too late, but this would be a great time to sneak out real quiet like, get some ice for your drink, drop down in a chair and turn on the TV. When they ask you what the hell you're doing, pretend not to notice them. Just be really eerily calm and don't respond to any of their inquiries.

They'll either leave, or invite you in, either way, you get your ice.

[Easy Mac]

shit, i just found german beer in my minifridge, its a great night.

and i probably could have chilled scotch in the time it is taking to get ice... oh well its the ambiance.

and there was just moaning.

[vex]

I love this thread.

[Easy Mac]

i hear keys rattling, dammit

[Travis]

Okay, I reconsider, now it's time for a noise contest. Download some great porn (or uh, IM me, I might be able to help you out there), then just tie it on.

Seriously, outdo them, see how long it takes for them to start listening at your door.

[Tasan]

YOU WAITED TOO LATE MAN!!!!

Now you need to show your roomate this thread.....

[vex]

LOL, Travis, you're killing me!

[Travis]

Originally posted by Tasan
YOU WAITED TOO LATE MAN!!!!

Now you need to show your roomate this thread.....

He never said keys rattling in a door, could be rattling in something else which would in no way indicate an end to what's happening....

Wow, that may have even scarred my own mind...

[Easy Mac]

i hear talking now, damn... more nookie

[Tasan]

Originally posted by Travis
Okay, I reconsider, now it's time for a noise contest. Download some great porn (or uh, IM me, I might be able to help you out there), then just tie it on.

Seriously, outdo them, see how long it takes for them to start listening at your door.

What a great, GREAT idea that is! Oh man if they really aren't done, and that was just the keys falling out of his pockets or something, go for it.

[vex]

Maybe it was just a novelty...

[Travis]

Originally posted by vexroid
LOL, Travis, you're killing me!

Is it a sad thing when a thread like this is more up my alley in terms of humor than nearly anything else ever posted here?

[Easy Mac]

the sad thing is, i've caught them at my door... turnabout is fair play

[Travis]

Dude, seriously, open the door a crack and whisper, "can you guys just keep going for another minute or so? I'm not quite done..."

[vex]

You playing the porn?

[JeeberD]

What happening now? They're using keys as sex toys? That's gotta hurt...

[Tasan]

Originally posted by Travis
Dude, seriously, open the door a crack and whisper, "can you guys just keep going for another minute or so? I'm not quite done..."

ANOTHER GEM!!! The man is on a ROLL I tell ya!

[Tasan]

Or better yet, go and get your ice, and drop a mic on the floor on your way back to your room, and make sure they see it

Maybe mumble something about 'thick walls' on the way

[Lathum]

This post is gonna set a record for the quickest post to get to 2 pages.

[Easy Mac]

i either heard loud sucking or a smack.

Thank god the guy hates sports, else he might wander on this site.

[samifan24]

Travis is full of great ideas tonight.

Easy Mac- This thread is awesome. Made my night. :)

[Lathum]

It allready did as I was typing

[Travis]

I'd pay some serious money if you opened your door and just lobbed a weird sex toy into the mix.

Of course none of us would ever ask why you had it in your room in the first place, but that would be such a Mento's moment.

[Tasan]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
i either heard loud sucking or a smack.


It very well could have been both.

[Easy Mac]

i hope it was a smack b/c she has a nice ass.

Is this thread going to get me banned?

I really didn't intend for it to happen this way. I just wanted ice and ettiqute lessons

[Lathum]

What kind of a smack? a but-smack or a lip smack? or a lips on but smack?

[vex]

I would be quite proud if something like this involving me made its way onto the net.

[Tasan]

lol

Is the 'dawg around?

can anyone say....most....views....ever....

[Travis]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
I just wanted ice and ettiqute lessons

You came here for ettiqute?

[Easy Mac]

i just want to know where his roomate is... i know he was here with his girl around 10.30, they must have left.

[Lathum]

Is anyone even bothering to read any other posts right now?

[vex]

I'm sure if you get banned, you'll have many loyal supporters.

[Travis]

How brave a man are you, cause if they're still in action, I've got one that would knock their socks off...

well, as off as they can be if they're already on the floor...

[Easy Mac]

We're pushing 2 hours of hearing this... damn, thats like 7185 more seconds than i'm used to.

[vex]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
i just want to know where his roomate is... i know he was here with his girl around 10.30, they must have left.


They're probably in there watching and here you're on the computer.

[Travis]

Many more threads like this and some of us will catch up to Quiksand in posts.

Of course I doubt many will make the arguement that each and every one of our posts is quite as insightful as his, but dems da breaks.

[vex]

This must be break up sex.

[Easy Mac]

i knocked my sock off long ago... err i mean socks...shit

[samifan24]

And now....live from Easy Mac's apartment, we have his roommate and his roommate's girlfriend....Easy Mac?

Easy: Well yes, here we are, a bit of an interesting situation.

(Noise contest in background)

Travis: Hahaha, if only they knew about this site.

Everybody else: I wish something like this happened to us. Tell me more, Easy Mac, tell me more!

[Travis]

I fully recommend that you walk out there completely nude, stand over them and say, "What's up?"

Key to all this is saying it with a straight face, any sort of smile or laughter will totally ruin the moment.

[Easy Mac]

damn, i just finished a beer and i got to piss... i cant flush the toilet b/c they may hear... i assume they think im asleep.

[Tasan]

People are posting in other topics, just not fast enough...nothing else is staying on top like this one. What a coincidense...

[vex]

Travis, do you do this often or something?

[Tasan]

Oh yeah, completely nude, and maybe a comment like, um, if your done here, I'd like a turn, or hey, I finished in there an hour ago, you guys are slow.

[vex]

I'm going to bed, you'd better walk in there sometime. For FOFCers around the globe, this is your duty.

[Travis]

Originally posted by vexroid
Travis, do you do this often or something?

By this, do you mean:

a) posting obscene suggestions on the 'net.
b) listening to a buddy having break up sex, and deciding on an appropriate way to work my way into the situation
or
c) trying to get somebody into an entire shit load of trouble

?

[Travis]

Of course if you feel like sneaking in and giving them each a wet willy at the same time, that's cool too. You could maybe even get funding from the government to see if it improves sexual performance.

[Easy Mac]

ok, i swear i heard the couch make a slamming noise. i hope they moved my controller, or else i'm not playing with that joystick.

[vex]

Lets go for all three.

[Tasan]

New meaning to 'joystick' there, maybe they DID leave it right there.....

Okay so maybe its not a totally "new" meaning, but you get it...

[Travis]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
ok, i swear i heard the couch make a slamming noise. i hope they moved my controller, or else i'm not playing with that joystick.

That controller may be doing a lot more moving that you'd like to think. Especially if you don't hear the keys anymore...

[vex]

Forget the X-Box already!:)

[Travis]

Originally posted by vexroid
Lets go for all three.

Moi? Jamais!

Well, maybe 1 and 3, but not 2, that's just beyond me :)

[Easy Mac]

Unreal Tournament will never be the same.

[Easy Mac]

Hey, except for the porn DVD's, that xbox is sin free.

[Travis]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
Unreal Tournament will never be the same.

To quote Samuel L. Jackson, "Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"

Beautiful.

[vex]

Was.

[Tasan]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
Hey, except for the porn DVD's, that xbox is sin free.

Well not anymore buddy!

[Easy Mac]

Hmmm, i wonder if 'my roomate had sex on it' is a valid excuse not to turn in homework?

[Tasan]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
Hmmm, i wonder if 'my roomate had sex on it' is a valid excuse not to turn in homework?

LOL

Man, where is HM when we need him? You SHOULD just be able to walk in there and be cocky and funny.

[Travis]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
Hmmm, i wonder if 'my roomate had sex on it' is a valid excuse not to turn in homework?

Just hand in what you have, and when the teacher asks what the stains are, break out the tape!

[Easy Mac]

"There are two types of FOFC posters: Those with girlfriends, and those with Kleenex's"

Never has this been more true

[Travis]

Yes, but where are the one's (YOU) with the webcams?

[JeeberD]

Damn, look at this thing grow...

Oh, and I'm talking about the thread, not Easy's roommate's, ummm, you know...

[Travis]

Now, just to clarify, you're sure they're having sex right?

I mean, she may just be trying to take all your furniture (including YOUR X-Box) with her while he's getting his ass kicked (all the smacking sounds and furniture noises) trying to stop her.

You better go check.

[Easy Mac]

and i shall waste my 1900th post by saying, it seems this sordid ordeal may have reached its climax, and i unfortunately do not mean it literally.

I no longer hear sounds, and i may indeed brave the living room for the long awaited ice to my scotch. they may have ceased, or retired to his room.

if i dont return shortly, you have reason to assume why. details to come.

[Travis]

Here's the question on all our minds, is Easy Mac about to assume the role of the Gimp?

[Swaggs]

There are two types of FOFC posters: Those with girlfriends, and those with Kleenex's

[Easy Mac]

well, all the lights are now off in the living room, and there are certain things that may not need to be seen, so it seems i may have to forgoe my beverage.

[Travis]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
well, all the lights are now off in the living room, and there are certain things that may not need to be seen, so it seems i may have to forgoe my beverage.

THAT'S THE CONCLUSION TO THIS STORY!?

BOO I SAY, BOO!

[Swaggs]

Damnit! Easy Mac beat me to the punch by quoting himself before I read through the entire thread! :)

[Tasan]

Easy Mac walks into living room.....scene fades in....

Underwear on a lapshade....checks....its his nevermind....ah, underwear on the tv, not his....xbox controller.....moist......ah the word moist....couch cushions on the floor, chair, and one half tilted on the couch arm. Couch arm rammed into wall, plaster cracked....various bits of clothing scattered around the room in art deco fashion......

[Travis]

You know this thread has to contain a few QotM candidates now, Easy Mac will be a fixture on that rotation.

[Travis]

Originally posted by Tasan
Easy Mac walks into living room.....scene fades in....

Underwear on a lapshade....checks....its his nevermind....ah, underwear on the tv, not his....xbox controller.....moist......ah the word moist....couch cushions on the floor, chair, and one half tilted on the couch arm. Couch arm rammed into wall, plaster cracked....various bits of clothing scattered around the room in art deco fashion......

Don't forget the naked woman draped over the ceiling fan and a passed out male half crammed into the microwave.

Don't ask, it wasn't pretty.

[Easy Mac]

i wasn't before. -> directed at the QotM rotation quip

id go in, but i think it might compromise the friendship, it seems to be an unwritten code.

[Travis]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
i wasn't before.

id go in, but i think it might compromise the friendship, it seems to be an unwritten code.

If you're not entirely sure about that, and it sounds like you aren't, now might be a good time to clarify...

[Tasan]

Yeah you can ALWAYS back out of that situation by going "aw GEEZ man, go to your ROOOOOOM!!!!"

remember, sex in the living area, and the perpitrators are in the wrong all the time

[Easy Mac]

well, i wouldn't want them to walk in after i did my business with my girl... mainly b/c they'd see her unfullfilled.

[Travis]

Dammit, peer pressure isn't working!

PEER PRESSURE IS SUPPOSED TO BE UNSTOPPABLE!

But on the upside, you couldn't possibly do any worse than they did in Chasing Amy.

[Easy Mac]

unfortuantely, i must go to sleep, i have to wake up around 6 to go work out and run. Perhaps I'll see things when i awaken. I'll let you guys know how/what turned out.

[Travis]

and fade to black...

thanks for the entertainment Easy Mac, will make for a good story at work in the morning ;)

[Tasan]

Lordy that was fun....of course I should have been in bed an hour ago, oh well.....

[TLK]

Damn...... did I pick the wrong night to make a power hour cd or what......


TLK

[3ric]

Originally posted by Easy Mac
is it ever acceptable to... [<i>irrelevant stuff deleted</i>] get to the ice for my scotch (trying to be classy at midnight). They've been going at it for like 45 minutes now, and i just want a drink.

No, it's not acceptable to have ice in your scotch. Especially not if it is a single malt.

[mrskippy]

Hey now ... what happened to that Webcam?

[Blade]

Holy crap...do I ever miss out on entertaining things!!!

[KWhit]

Great buildup, no payoff.

[McSweeny]

great stuff sorry i missed it... had me laughing pretty hard

[Fritz]

Fritz catches up

Originally posted by Easy Mac
and if THEY only knew what has happened on that couch.

I am sure they do

Originally posted by Easy Mac
damn, i just finished a beer and i got to piss... i cant flush the toilet b/c they may hear... i assume they think im asleep.

Didn't you ever learn how to piss out a window or in a bottle? Dumb kids.

Originally posted by Easy Mac
id go in, but i think it might compromise the friendship, it seems to be an unwritten code.

What kind of fuckedup code is that? I would have gone in and sat on the couch with them and started up a conversation.

---
Look dummy, you only get a few good years of life to be a wahoo, make the most of them!

[bbor]

Originally posted by KWhit
Great buildup, no payoff.


Sounds like my sex life:(

I'm prettty sure this thread should be stickied...but i'm pretty sure it is sticky enough:D

BTW...Did you smell the couch?

[JeeberD]

No kidding, inquiring minds want to know what you found this morning!

[Celeval]

I was having a really bad day.

This thread made it all worthwhile. :D

Kevin

[Easy Mac]

Unfortunately, i didn't get to see my roomate all day, as my girlfriend made me go to columbia for the weekend, and i only got to go to the room to pack.

No underwear or anything noticeable laying around, but i hope to have some kind of story saturday night.

[CamEdwards]

your girlfriend made you? this is the same woman who led you around by your nutsack when someone asked you to play soccer this weekend, right?

Jeez, Easy... you need to grow a pair.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my wife needs her feet rubbed.

[Easy Mac]

Originally posted by CamEdwards
your girlfriend made you? this is the same woman who led you around by your nutsack when someone asked you to play soccer this weekend, right?

Jeez, Easy... you need to grow a pair.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my wife needs her feet rubbed.

Technically, its to go see my 6 month old nephew who she hasn't seen since his baptism, but she is the one who wanted to go. And as long as she reamins proficient in bed, I'll let her have her way every now and again. Plus I blew her off to play Unreal last weekend with my roommates.

[Travis]

Man, this isn't nearly as much fun as last night, we need some action 'round these here parts!

[Blade]

Psst...hey guys...I am at Travis' house...I went to the bathroom, and now he is at the computer masterbating...what is the proper thing to do?

;)

[Travis]

Originally posted by Blade
Psst...hey guys...I am at Travis' house...I went to the bathroom, and now he is at the computer masterbating...what is the proper thing to do?

;)

First I'd say get off my lap so I can see the porn properly, sheesh!

[bbor]

Originally posted by CamEdwards
your girlfriend made you? this is the same woman who led you around by your nutsack when someone asked you to play soccer this weekend, right?

Jeez, Easy... you need to grow a pair.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my wife needs her feet rubbed.

I heart CamEdwards..

I spit on my screen when i read this:D