Not all white people have the Illuminati taint...

[Mustang]

I was educated of that fact at the bookstore today. Bush has it though and there was one random old dude in the bookstore that was pointed out as not having it. (Which would explain why I haven't received my Illuminati welcome kit). Never knew there were people that had an Illuminati sixth sense.

I wish I would have been paying more attention to what he was going on about since I do love a good conspiracy theory. He did make a case for an upside down horseshoe to be a racial slur since it resembles a lowercase n (never heard that before, but guess it explains why it is on a white background for the Colts)

[SnowMan]

Upside down horseshoe, poster named Mustang..it's all coming together...

[Mustang]

Upside down horseshoe, poster named Mustang..it's all coming together...

Figures a poster with the name of Snowman would be the first to respond. :)

[Maple Leafs]

Wait, so some random guy came up to you and start talking about your taint?

[SFL Cat]

This is a Twillight Zone type thread, right?

[Drake]

You get your Illuminati taint right after you join the Freemasons. They send it in the mail in one of those destruction-proof mailers and you just spray it on.

It glows under black light.

[thesloppy]

Wait, so some random guy came up to you and start talking about your taint?

Welcome to Hollywood!

[SFL Cat]

Actually I don't think that happens until you become a 32nd degree Master Mason and learn all the super secret Satanic rituals.

[Drake]

You know you can get your 32nd degree in like a month of weekends worth of classroom stuff now, right?

It's really rather disappointing. When I joined the Masons, I honestly expected it to be one of those things where I'd have to do actual work, put in time to prove myself, memorize stuff, kill some goats, deflower some virgins, etc.

Turns out that after achieving the Master Mason stage, everything after that is really business meetings and paying money to go to workshops where they "initiate you" (i.e., recite a bunch of lectures) into the higher degrees.

It's pretty disillusioning as a conspiracy once you're on the inside and discover that their primary purpose is to raise money for charity. I'm always like, "How is this fish fry going to help us further our goal of WORLD DOMINATION!!!!" and they're like, "Uh, we're just trying to put a new roof on the sports complex for the t-ball league, dude."

[korme]

THIS THREAD
=========
MY HEAD

[samifan24]

I love it when customers come in to the bookstore where I work and ask for books in the speculation section. I'm talking books like "the moon landing was fake" and "George W. Bush and Tony Blair are actually lizard men." If you're ever bored in a bookstore, check out the speculation section. You'll be laughing for hours.

[Mustang]

I love it when customers come in to the bookstore where I work and ask for books in the speculation section.

There is actually a speculation section?

The other awesome part of the conversation went like this...

"What is 4+5?"

"1"

"No, 4 PLUS 5"

"Ohhh.. 8"

"No, 4+5"

"EIGHT! No wait.. Nine"

"Ok, what is the 9th letter of the alphabet?"

"ABCDEFGHIJ... K! Wait no.. J?"

[samifan24]

There is actually a speculation section?

Yes, absolutely. Another funny thing is that all the books in the speculation section look similar. They are all QPs (paperbacks) and typically feature large, bold colors and a waxy look on the cover. If you picture the blue "falling man" in the X-Files intro, he'd fit in well on these covers.

[Karlifornia]

I'm just trying to get a white friend to infiltrate one of the Illuminati mixers at the local Williams-Sonoma. Is it a breadmaker, or an OPPRESSIONMAKER?

[Butter]

I'm just trying to get a white friend to infiltrate one of the Illuminati mixers at the local Williams-Sonoma. Is it a breadmaker, or an OPPRESSIONMAKER?

Not hard to do. You just have to tilt that $600 T-Fal set at the proper angle to open the secret door and....

but then I've said too much.

[DanGarion]

"Uh, we're just trying to put a new roof on the sports complex for the t-ball league, dude."

Wow you guys have dome stadiums for your t-ball games? ?!?!?!?:eek:

[Drake]

In rural Indiana, we define "sports complex" very loosely. The new roof would be for the pole barn that doubles as the administrative building for the little league fields (all three of them).

[Mota]

I have a conspiracy theory friend at work. She says that all presidents have had a bloodline that links to the original illuminati members.

I asked her was it McCain or Obama that had this bloodline, therefore we automatically would know who wins the election! She just answered "Uh yeah, I read that it was one of them but I don't remember" and then went back to working.

Yeah, good luck with that life of yours, young lady.