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JonInMiddleGA
10-23-2008, 09:17 PM
I wasn't sure how to address this but since I know it has been mentioned at times over the years I wanted to acknowledge it somehow.

A few hours ago my father-in-law passed away due to complications related to a prolonged illness. My wife was with him at the end & his death was relatively peaceful as he had lapsed into what amounted to a coma around about 12-14 hours earlier. The official cause of death will likely be something like complications from pneumonia but in reality it was more like the cumulative total of events over the past 12 years.

Having survived an catastrophic aortic aneurysm (completely replacement required instead of repair) on the opening night of the Olympic Games in Atlanta, the rest of his life was spent fighting through a seemingly endless series of health problems. What began as an bump in the road here & there eventually devolved into persistent problems. Mostly lung issues rather than heart problems somewhat oddly enough, but time & again I watched him defy the most dire predictions of doctors, all reasonable expectations, and our worst fears. He was written off for dead on at least three occasions, faced predictions of the worst more times than I could count but until today each time he rallied back, until finally the cycle was simply too much to overcome.
But he fought to the end until finally there wasn't much left to fight with and as sad as losing him is, I'm relieved for his sake that so much suffering has finally ended.

From the practical standpoint, it's a really screwed up situation at the moment. He died today around 5 something, my wife spent the next 3 hours sitting with the body while waiting for the funeral home to pick up the body. Apparently the dominant funeral home in the area is backed up with some 17 services which is well over what they can handle so his visitation won't take place until Sunday night with the funeral not until Monday. After much discussion & several changes in plans, Will & I won't be heading to Tennessee until at least tomorrow evening. That way he only misses one or possibly two days (depends upon when we get back on Monday night) instead of as many as three. That sucks in all our opinions but it's a practical reality that three days of makeup work with a 24-48 hours turnaround just isn't realistic to expect him to do. But when he's already got two hours of homework a night, plus the daily work to boot ... what can you do? Combine that with the declining health of our cat that needs daily medication & is due for another chemo treatment Monday (hoping to reschedule for tomorrow, as her remission abruptly ended a few weeks ago & his condition is steadily declining). So we're just winging it I guess.

I appreciate your prayers as we go through what will doubtless be a very trying weekend, for my wife, son, and mother-in-law as they grieve their loss (along with me and the rest of his surviving relatives) and if you're so inclined a small prayer for me as well having been asked to deliver the eulogy (along with a reading of Tennyson's Crossing the Bar, just simply that I could come close to doing justice in honoring a fine man who served as both a strong role model in many facets of his life and as a caring individual who loved his family a great deal.

My thanks in advance, I needed to talk about this a little bit somewhere & it's tough being separated from my wife during the first part of this, where I don't have much choice but to try to keep some other balls juggling in the air at the expense of being as available for her as I'd like to be.

molson
10-23-2008, 09:19 PM
Sorry to hear that, I'm sure your wife appreciates your strength and you'll get through all this.

DaddyTorgo
10-23-2008, 09:19 PM
damn Jon. My thoughts are with you and your wife and will.

Lathum
10-23-2008, 09:23 PM
Sorry to hear Jon, you are lucky to have had such a great relationship with your FIL and thankfully your wife was there at the end so he wasn't alone.

stevew
10-23-2008, 09:26 PM
I am sorry for your families loss.

Karlifornia
10-23-2008, 09:33 PM
Sorry, Jon. Best wishes.

samifan24
10-23-2008, 09:35 PM
You and your family are in my prayers.

BrianD
10-23-2008, 09:36 PM
You have my wishes for continued strength for everyone. This situation sucks for everyone involved, but the worst part is that it will suck differently for everyone involved since everyone deals with this stuff differently and since all relationships are different. Hopefully you've got friends and family who can help you through these troubled times.

sterlingice
10-23-2008, 09:36 PM
Thoughts and prayers are with you, Jon

SI

path12
10-23-2008, 10:42 PM
Best to you and your family, Jon.

SirFozzie
10-23-2008, 11:06 PM
God bless, Jon.

GrantDawg
10-24-2008, 05:01 AM
Thoughts and prayers, man.

The old preacher in me cringed when I read of 17 deaths at funeral home. I remember well the days of wearing a dark suit and practically living at the funeral home for several days because of numerous deaths. Usually though it was late January-early Febuary that was the worst time for it. It may sound weird, but the "being with the family" during those times is one of the things I definitely miss.

Anyway, sorry. I didn't mean to get all nostalgic.

CleBrownsfan
10-24-2008, 06:26 AM
My thoughts are with you, your wife, and your family....

Lorena
10-24-2008, 06:43 AM
Sorry for your loss Jon, my thoughts are with you and yours.

FrogMan
10-24-2008, 06:46 AM
my thoughts are with you and your family.

FM

Mizzou B-ball fan
10-24-2008, 07:27 AM
We had a similar situation a month ago. Mother in law died after an eight year battle similar to what you're talking about. One problem to start it all and it's just an avalanche after that. Best of luck.

Oilers9911
10-24-2008, 07:53 AM
Thoughts and prayers to your family Jon.

Kodos
10-24-2008, 08:01 AM
Sorry to hear of your loss.

flere-imsaho
10-24-2008, 09:37 AM
My thoughts are with you, Jon.

albionmoonlight
10-24-2008, 09:51 AM
Thoughts and prayers to you and yours, Jon.

lordscarlet
10-24-2008, 10:14 AM
My thoughts are with you, Jon.

Marc Vaughan
10-24-2008, 10:16 AM
Sorry to hear of your loss.

MizzouRah
10-24-2008, 10:17 AM
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family Jon.

Flasch186
10-24-2008, 08:14 PM
my prayers are with you and your wife. :(

terpkristin
10-24-2008, 08:17 PM
Hang in there, Jon. You and your family are in my thoughts.

/tk

BigDPW
10-24-2008, 09:43 PM
I am praying for you and your family.

Senator
10-24-2008, 10:25 PM
Our thoughts are with your family.

Honolulu_Blue
10-25-2008, 07:02 AM
Good luck to you and your family, Jon.

Dutch
10-25-2008, 07:32 AM
I'm sorry to hear about the loss Jon.

duckman
10-25-2008, 09:16 AM
Very sorry for your loss, Jon.

Anthony
10-25-2008, 10:07 AM
what is the reading from that Crossing The Bar?

JonInMiddleGA
10-25-2008, 10:43 AM
My thanks to you all, I'm out til late Monday.

HA - here's the whole thing, one of Tennyson's shortest works.
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea.

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home!

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For though from out our bourn of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

Celeval
10-25-2008, 01:36 PM
You have my best.

Axxon
10-25-2008, 04:24 PM
Late comer to reading the thread but you know you're in my thoughts as you go through this. My condolences and best wishes to you and yours.

BYU 14
10-25-2008, 10:03 PM
Very sorry for your loss Jon, your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

JonInMiddleGA
10-27-2008, 10:52 PM
Home. Tough weekend, nice service. Wife due back home in another 24 hours or so. And then I guess the really tough part begins for my mother-in-law & the rest of the family.

My sincere appreciation to you all.

Klinglerware
10-28-2008, 07:55 AM
Hang in there, Jon...

Mac Howard
10-28-2008, 08:19 AM
Well my prayers wouldn't be much use to you, jon, but you certainly have my best wishes that you get through the pain and, as one who has lost both his parents, offer that eventually that pain will turn to happy memories.

digamma
10-28-2008, 10:49 AM
Just saw this. My best your way.