Izulde
01-18-2009, 05:27 PM
Jestor Hired To Resurrect On-Court Magic
A 16-66 campaign and dealing away of the eventual #1 overall pick led to the dismissal of Orlando's GM, creating a void on a team already in identity crisis following a series of trades designed to induce a youth movement.
Into the morass steps Jestor, an academic famous for his scholarship on managing a sports franchise, particularly in professional basketball. Now comes the time for him to test his theories against the elite GMs of the NLL and the results of the experiment will be intriguing to watch.
The new GM lost no time in launching a salvo at the previous regime and outlining a plan for yet another rebuilding effort.
"We were a bad team last year and I fully expect we will be a lottery team again next season. The egregious mistakes made by the previous regime have set the Magic back at least two or three years. Particularly heinous was my predecessor's decision to trade away the eventual #1 overall pick in this year's draft for Ty Lawson. Such a deal violates the Cardinal Rule of Jestor's Management System, which is to always, always enter a draft with a first round pick. I don't care if it's the 30th pick, you don't go into a draft without a first rounder in your pocket. Ever.
We have inherited a culture of losing, a culture that must be erased as quickly as possible and replaced by a new, winning philosophy. To that end, every single player on this roster is available for trade. We will be aggressively pursuing talks to get back into the first round of the upcoming draft to land a player we can make the foundation of our restoration. This is a damned sexy draft, on the level of Jessica Alba/Scarlett Johansson shower scene sexy. Maybe even Victoria's Secret models as your own personal cheerleading squad sexy."
Jestor paused after the ensuing laughter before joking, "In fact, our first move will be to acquire Marko Jaric and for me to claim prima noctae rights on the night he marries Adriana Lima."
The GM returned to his serious vein once the second round of laughter died down.
"There are pieces on this team, good pieces, but I have no attachment to any of them and perhaps they, too, will benefit from a change of scenery. Just who will go where and for what, well that remains to be seen. But what I can say is that I look forward to the challenge before us and I promise you that I will do everything in my power to take this team to former glory and beyond, to heights never before experienced."
No word was given as to the fate of Larry Bird and his staff, but speculation is heavy that the Hall of Famer and his assistants will be getting their pink slips in the next few days.
A 16-66 campaign and dealing away of the eventual #1 overall pick led to the dismissal of Orlando's GM, creating a void on a team already in identity crisis following a series of trades designed to induce a youth movement.
Into the morass steps Jestor, an academic famous for his scholarship on managing a sports franchise, particularly in professional basketball. Now comes the time for him to test his theories against the elite GMs of the NLL and the results of the experiment will be intriguing to watch.
The new GM lost no time in launching a salvo at the previous regime and outlining a plan for yet another rebuilding effort.
"We were a bad team last year and I fully expect we will be a lottery team again next season. The egregious mistakes made by the previous regime have set the Magic back at least two or three years. Particularly heinous was my predecessor's decision to trade away the eventual #1 overall pick in this year's draft for Ty Lawson. Such a deal violates the Cardinal Rule of Jestor's Management System, which is to always, always enter a draft with a first round pick. I don't care if it's the 30th pick, you don't go into a draft without a first rounder in your pocket. Ever.
We have inherited a culture of losing, a culture that must be erased as quickly as possible and replaced by a new, winning philosophy. To that end, every single player on this roster is available for trade. We will be aggressively pursuing talks to get back into the first round of the upcoming draft to land a player we can make the foundation of our restoration. This is a damned sexy draft, on the level of Jessica Alba/Scarlett Johansson shower scene sexy. Maybe even Victoria's Secret models as your own personal cheerleading squad sexy."
Jestor paused after the ensuing laughter before joking, "In fact, our first move will be to acquire Marko Jaric and for me to claim prima noctae rights on the night he marries Adriana Lima."
The GM returned to his serious vein once the second round of laughter died down.
"There are pieces on this team, good pieces, but I have no attachment to any of them and perhaps they, too, will benefit from a change of scenery. Just who will go where and for what, well that remains to be seen. But what I can say is that I look forward to the challenge before us and I promise you that I will do everything in my power to take this team to former glory and beyond, to heights never before experienced."
No word was given as to the fate of Larry Bird and his staff, but speculation is heavy that the Hall of Famer and his assistants will be getting their pink slips in the next few days.