PDA

View Full Version : A moment at a structure fire that only folks at FOFC could appreciate....


hawk4669
05-17-2009, 09:39 PM
I'm on duty right now and had a moment at a commercial structure fire today that I figured you guys could appreciate.

So about 9:30 am this morning we get a call to a structure fire in a downtown business. First engine gets there and it is a working fire with smoke and fire blowing out the front of the business. The building is basically a strip mall (all in a line down the street only separated by a wall per business) with a common attic (no fire stops in the attic so fire could potentially run the entire length of the building unimpeded). For the record, all the businesses involved are closed at the time of the fire.

My engine arrives second due to the fire and are assigned by the incident commander to the business right next door to the business on fire (which is ripping at this point). Our assignment is primary search (for victims) and to look for fire extension into the business.

At this time I should mention that the business we are assigned to is a combination "head" shop selling bongs and pipes for "exotic" tobacco -AND- an adult novelty/porn shop.

Being as the business is closed, my rookie firefighter and I force entry into the business, head inside and go to work. Inside is charged with black smoke down to the floor and moderate heat, but no visible fire.

We locate a stairway at the rear of the building leading up to the second floor. I go up the stairs and see that is a mezzanine (not sure if I spelled that right) with storage rooms off of it. I tell my Firefighter and Engineer to stay at the bottom of the stairs and I'll search the area by myself using our Thermal Imaging Camera because there is a ton of storage and crap all around and due to the smoke I can't see anything.

I enter the room and immediately become tangled in something and fall on my face. I recover and look up and immediately come face to face with one of their products (still in box) on the floor. Lo and behold it is the "Mr. Dandy Penis Pump."

So here I am, a seasoned experienced Fire Captain in full gear complete with my breathing apparatus lying on the floor staring at a penis pump. My only thought at this point is, "Hmmm...if I get tangled in something here and have to call for a mayday....how am I going to phrase this?"

It is at that moment I, for whatever reason, thought about the boards here at FOFC. I thought I'd toss that question out there for suggestions for future use in my career.

Thanks in advance.

Cheers!

JonInMiddleGA
05-17-2009, 09:42 PM
As the son of a former firefighter and brother-in-law of a current firefighter ...
I LOL'ed

Bad-example
05-17-2009, 09:50 PM
"Mr. Dandy Penis Pump" should be your permanent new title. :)

JonInMiddleGA
05-17-2009, 09:53 PM
"Mr. Dandy Penis Pump" should be your permanent new title. :)

Shouldn't that be "Captain Dandy Penis Pump" in his case?

fantom1979
05-17-2009, 09:55 PM
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
hawk4669 (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/): That's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by hawk4669.
hawk4669 (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/): I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by hawk4669.
hawk4669 (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/): I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by hawk4669.

hawk4669
05-17-2009, 09:55 PM
Honestly, in 16 years in the fire service I've seen some weird/funny/strange stuff....and this ranks way up there. :)

Cheers!

DaddyTorgo
05-17-2009, 09:56 PM
LOL - awesome!

hawk4669
05-17-2009, 10:08 PM
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
hawk4669 (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/): That's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by hawk4669.
hawk4669 (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/): I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by hawk4669.
hawk4669 (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000196/): I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0611974/): One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by hawk4669.

I showed my crew this one....they LOL'd.

:D

Cheers!

RainMaker
05-17-2009, 10:10 PM
Were you able to save the porn?

hawk4669
05-17-2009, 10:19 PM
Sadly I think it was a total loss due to smoke and water damage.

At least I hope it was water....:eek:

Cheers!

stevew
05-18-2009, 01:17 AM
That's some funny shit. Good thing you didn't get stuck in a sex swing. Or have to break up a sub dom session

Karlifornia
05-18-2009, 02:59 AM
Pretty cool story. You should have a blog or a book deal or something. I think most firefighters and police officers should. They are interesting jobs.

Cringer
05-18-2009, 03:07 AM
Can smoke actually damage a penis pump enough to make it unusable?

Great story.

hhiipp
05-18-2009, 05:27 AM
There has been breaking news in the cause of this fire. Sources say the store was out of KY, so the fire chief is speculating this could have been friction related.

Ksyrup
05-18-2009, 06:30 AM
Did you save the guy attached to the penis pump, or was he too smoke-damaged to bother with?

thesloppy
05-18-2009, 07:36 AM
Can smoke actually damage a penis pump enough to make it unusable?

Ask.com was not able to handle this query quite as well as their advertisements had led me to believe.

sterlingice
05-18-2009, 08:18 AM
Ok, that story made the morning :)

SI

Coffee Warlord
05-18-2009, 08:29 AM
Friend of mine is a firefighter/medic, and yes. You get some thoroughly amusing stories. I can't wait to pass this one onto him.

His crazy shit ALMOST tops the other friend of mine who was a former corrections officer at a maximum security prison in TN.

Bobble
05-18-2009, 08:30 AM
Can smoke actually damage a penis pump enough to make it unusable?

I'll let you know in 6 to 8 weeks.

PackerFanatic
05-18-2009, 08:35 AM
That is pretty good.

hawk4669
05-18-2009, 09:08 AM
That's some funny shit. Good thing you didn't get stuck in a sex swing. Or have to break up a sub dom session


Yikes. You mentioned that and all I could think about was the scene in Pulp Fiction where....uh...you know. I think I would have retired upon seeing that.

Cheers!

hawk4669
05-18-2009, 09:13 AM
Dola,

For the record, the store's official name... "Stuff n' Things." Akin to Stuffing things? I dunno.

Description of the store per our morning paper: "Stuff n' Things a store specializing in collectibles, clothing and general merchandise." Yeah, general merch alright.

Cheers!

M GO BLUE!!!
05-18-2009, 10:38 AM
I have heard penis pumps can be dangerous. I would avoid them in the future. Let's just be glad you weren't holding the hose when you fell, as that could have been an ugly scene, and you know if the penis pump caused damage to the hose it would be unusable.

Eaglesfan27
05-18-2009, 12:23 PM
This thread delivers.

MikeVic
05-18-2009, 12:44 PM
Haha!