Office Giving

[molson]

Does anyone at a larger office get hit up for emails asking $ for birthday cake, sympathy flowers, etc? I'm all for doing something nice for someone I work with everyday but there must be a line somewhere.

In the last two months, my girlfriend has given money in her office for sympathy flowers for a dead grandmother, a "leaving the job" present, an office wedding shower, and an intern party. It can be up to $80/month, which seems a little out of control for people she might not even know that well.

She's very charitable outside the office, but she's trying to decide whether to just cut everyone off, or say something in private to the boss.

I'm just curious if anyone else has had to deal with this stuff - I think this particular office needs some kind of policy.

[Cringer]

I would just personally cut off the dead grandmother, the interns, and the wedding shower. The leaving the job gift gets $5. Problem solved.

[molson]

I should also mention that the (expensive) dead granmother flowers were bought even before anyone asked for money. So obviously there's all this pressure to put in so one person isn't stuck with the bill.

Of course, from a distance, I think, "that's her problem", but when it's people you have to work with every day....(and you need to have a good relationship with them)

[SFL Cat]

I'd rather contribute to things like that than feel like you're company is twisting your arm off to support the United Way.

[gstelmack]

Dead grandmother is the only one there that seems pushing it, the others are all common office things and part of being in that community. $80/month also seems excessive as a total for that stuff.

[Cringer]

Must be why my office includes my dog and myself. I give her food twice a day and she is good.

I won't comment any further. I am the wrong type of person to take input on this from.

[molson]

Dead grandmother is the only one there that seems pushing it, the others are all common office things and part of being in that community. $80/month also seems excessive as a total for that stuff.

It's usually $20 for 3-4 things/month. So one solution is just cutting that $ amount in half, or to $5.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Set a personal limit of $5 for those things & see if they can get their $80/month then.

[kcchief19]

Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well.
Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well.

[stevew]

I don't donate to any of them. The Company should be kicking in for flowers.

But it is better this stuff than being strong armed into giving to united way.

They are getting shitty with us to get donations to Sears Heroes at Home project.

[Suburban Rhythm]

I don't donate to any of them. The Company should be kicking in for flowers.

But it is better this stuff than being strong armed into giving to united way.

They are getting shitty with us to get donations to Sears Heroes at Home project.

Wow, very similar here. I'm at BNY Mellon, and every year is the huge United Way campaign. I understand its a good cause etc...but EVERYONE in the company is scheduled in groups to watch a video about projects etc from the past year and listen to member of upper mgmt who has volunteered somewhere. The sessions are mandatory-- skip your session, get a "reminder". Skip you make up, the reminder goes to you, your direct mgr and unit mgr.

So I decrease my donation each year. If you are going to waste my time, then I'll respond accordingly. Let me skip and I'll give you $5 a month. Force me to sit there through it, you should be happy you are getting $5 for the year.

[stevew]

I do try to show up at funeral homes when I can.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Dola

As for the original question, yes there is always someone getting married, having a baby, leaving the company, blah blah blah.

In my area, they print a copy of the floor directory, attached to a folder, and send around for people to donate/sign card etc.

If it is someone I know and like, I'll throw a few bucks in. Otherwise, I cross my name off the list and pass on to the next sucker.

There is a bitch on my team who shows horses....two years ago she had the balls to ask if she could use the table by my cube (my supervisor and I have an open cube against the windows, lots of space, so the table is for quick meetings) to put a donation jar to support her trip to Regionals or Nationals or some shit! She wrote this big long story of how she loves to do this and "since she'll never get married or have kids, she'll never request donations for those things."

Yes, she is fucking crazy as hell.

A bunch of us filled the jar with crap-- paperclips, chewed gum, etc. Oddly enough, she did not put out a donation jar this year.

[JonInMiddleGA]

There is a bitch on my team who shows horses....two years ago she had the balls to ask if she could use the table by my cube ... to put a donation jar to support her trip to Regionals or Nationals or some shit! She wrote this big long story of how she loves to do this and "since she'll never get married or have kids, she'll never request donations for those things."

Better her horses & the regionals/whatever than overpriced wrapping paper, popcorn, magazines, fresh fruit, or soft drinks for somebody else's kid though.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Better her horses & the regionals/whatever than overpriced wrapping paper, popcorn, magazines, fresh fruit, or soft drinks for somebody else's kid though.

Thankfully I don't asked for those types of things very often. When I do, I decline.

But at least with those you are getting something...all I got from this deal was a week without dealing with her. Which, come to think of it, isn't so bad.

[stevew]

The fucked up thing is that as far as I can tell me giving 5 a month to united way and SR giving 0 is worse than us each giving a dollar

[sterlingice]

I'm all for being friendly around the office but that's kindof crazy. Guess it's good that we're the contractors in the converted storage closet- no one bothers us except to occasionally sign a card.

SI

[Radii]

I'm usually pretty open to this kind of thing within my own department/team, you know, the people I work with closely every single day. Betty in Marketing doesn't know shit about who I am, and I don't know shit about her or her family. I don't want her money(and would be offended if anyone asked for it on my behalf for something), and I have no intention of helping pay for her personal issues.

But like I said, if its someone I'm close to, even just in a "we work together every day" type of way, I'll always help out.

[Lorena]

In addition to that, there are also birthday and going away lunches that add up. Yeah 80 bucks is a lot, that's 80 bucks I won't have to pay my water bill. It depends where they fall in my "friend chart" tho.

[MrBug708]

I know Creed gave a 3 dollar bill once

[Lathum]

$80 in a month seems a bit much, as does giving for the dead grandmother.

[JediKooter]

80 bucks is rather steep. I have to admit, for as large of an office I'm in, I haven't once been hit up for anything other than Girl Scout cookies.

A dollar here or there is ok, but, 20 a pop, no way.

[stevew]

I will pretty much buy any food fundraiser I feel has merit.

[Julio Riddols]

I figure in any situation, if youre asking for handouts you should be willing to put in a little work to entice people. Birthdays are a different scenario, but almost anything else can be taken care of with something as simple as $5-dollar-a-bowl chili.

For me, I'm pretty stingy with my funds, but if you put in the work to convince me or if you really genuinely need my help for a good cause, you got it.

But, If youre the kind of person who expects coworkers to throw a party on your birthday or donate for something you don't need, youre a douche. If you get anything, be grateful, if you don't and you get mad about it, then thats why no one cares.

[SportsDino]

Who buys flowers for their grandmother and expects the office to chip in? Your helping her to show off in front of her relatives?

I agree with the sentiment that i would not donate to anything that the person is not putting their own effort into, or does not even make sense. If you have a dream (like riding horses) or a personal gift to give (like a dead grandmother) you make the sacrifice yourself because that is the whole point of dreams and gifts. Office help is for something like your house getting caught on fire and burning down (the only thing I ever donated money to at the office, and I gave them the profits of a casino trip).

[Mustang]

I'm in an office of 100+ people and we rarely get hit up for gifts unless it is a wedding or birth in our immediate team (10-15 members) and then we will chip in $5-$10 for a gift, but those are rare things. Flowers for the funeral are paid for by the company. We had a co-worker pass away and our group donated to put the money into a fund for her 2 year old twins.

Of course we have the baseball or band candy bar drives and girl scout cookies, but that stuff is just in the breakroom.

Oh and just be thankfully that she is just being hit up for flowers and that the person doesn't send out pictures of her dead gram gram to the entire floor. http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/showthread.php?t=65167&highlight=grandmother

[molson]

Who buys flowers for their grandmother and expects the office to chip in? Your helping her to show off in front of her relatives?



Usually it's another co-worker that buys the (expensive) flowers for the co-worker with the dead grandmother. Then she asks for money for them.

$20 does seem way steep. Some people I think just feel a pressure to put in more if they make more then the secretaries and receptionists. I know there was a situation a few years ago where an employee of 20+ years was leaving, and there was some kind of party. Everyone put in $20, and my girlfriend had to shell out $100 to cover the rest (and didn't say anything). She's a little wacky like that.

It's great when a company pitches in for stuff like that, but this was a government entity so it wasn't going to happen. (nor should it).

[stevew]

I know most of you don't work retail, but there have been numerous cases over this job and the last where they will allow you to donate to some various charity/cause and in turn get to break dress code in some certain way. Usually you can wear jeans. Typically this is one dollar. I never take part in these things, but anyways.

Last weekend we were allowed to wear Penguins gear and Jeans at Sears, but only if we donated 5 dollars to their Heroes at Home scam. Basically(at least last christmas) the company has found a way to bully associates to get donations from customers which in turn will be given to the returning troops families in the form of Sears Gift Cards

Never asked any customer yet for it, in fact it turns my stomach.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I once asked specific people in my office to give up the booty. Didn't work.

[Honolulu_Blue]

We have "jeans" days once in a while. If you pay $5 to some cause (typically cancer), you get to wear jeans on Friday. They do it something like 4-5 times a year or so. I like wearing jeans at the office, so I do it.

That said, there's no pressure to do so.

[Sun Tzu]

I was scrolling through this thread, and my only thought was "where's Pumpy?". Then I saw his post. There he is, there's Pumpy.

[Pumpy Tudors]

how did i get involved

Anyway, fortunately, there's not much to the dress code at my office, thankfully. No shorts, no flip-flops, no halter tops. For the most part, that's it. So I wear t-shirts and jeans every day, unless one of my clients is visiting the office. Of course, what would be nice is if my bosses actually told me when a client was visiting. Last time it happened, everyone seemed to know about it but me. Then one of my bosses comes over and asks me if I want to go say hi to the client. After I looked at my t-shirt and jeans and passed out from embarrassment, she picked me up and told me I could go say hi anyway. Then I gave her five dollars.

So I guess, in a roundabout way, I paid five dollars for the opportunity to wear a t-shirt and jeans to work.

[RainMaker]

$80/month seems excessive. Might be time to say something to the boss or whoever is usually in charge of planning these things. You're talking nearly $1000/year for silly parties and crap. More than most of us spend on gifts for family.

The grandma thing seems a bit ridiculous. If you are real close to the person and a few others who are close want to go in on flowers, then so be it. I think it sucks to pitch in for flowers to someone you hardly know. Leaving the job presents are also stupid in my book unless the person is retiring and has been with the company for decades. Even then, the company should be the one footing the bill for that. If you're close to the person, take them out to lunch or for a beer afterwards.

I'm opposed to most of that stuff. I'd rather go out after work or during lunch with the people I want to. I understand a thing here or there but at $80/month, that's insane. The one thing that does piss me off to no end are those parents that pawn off their girl scout cookies and other garbage on you. You're almost forced to buy them and they usually aren't cheap.

[fantom1979]

I know most of you don't work retail, but there have been numerous cases over this job and the last where they will allow you to donate to some various charity/cause and in turn get to break dress code in some certain way. Usually you can wear jeans. Typically this is one dollar. I never take part in these things, but anyways.

Last weekend we were allowed to wear Penguins gear and Jeans at Sears, but only if we donated 5 dollars to their Heroes at Home scam. Basically(at least last christmas) the company has found a way to bully associates to get donations from customers which in turn will be given to the returning troops families in the form of Sears Gift Cards

Never asked any customer yet for it, in fact it turns my stomach.

At Home Depot it is called "The Homer Fund"...

There is always a birthday cakes, girl scout cookies, flowers, and other crap that people want you to put money into. The Home Depot I worked at had 145 employees, I would go broke if I gave every time someone asked. You learn to say no. Its probably a little harder in an office environment where you have to sit next to that person every day.

[judicial clerk]

I get hit up a lot to donate time to people who get sick or injured and run out of sick time. I hate to do it because I love taking time off, but I'll give a little if the person isn't a sick time abuser.

I also am a person who solicites at work cookie sales for my daughter's girl scout troop. I don't love it. I run a buy three boxes and I pay for your fourth free campaign.

[Radii]

I also am a person who solicites at work cookie sales for my daughter's girl scout troop. I don't love it. I run a buy three boxes and I pay for your fourth free campaign.

to me that's a lot different than buying flowers for someone's grandmother. If there is too much fundraiser action going on because of too many parents then the company can adjust but I never took any offense at all over that kind of thing. I think there is a distinction because you're actually buying something you (presumably) want, wrapping paper for fundraisers, cookies, etc, as opposed to everyone's favorite, perhaps personal charity.

Personally I prefer that because I love girl scout cookies and that is how I usually obtain them :D

[stevew]

I'd actually be pissed if a co-worker's kid was selling girl scout cookies and I wasn't asked to donate.

Then you have to buy Somoas off of shady kid street vendors.

[sterlingice]

I'd actually be pissed if a co-worker's kid was selling girl scout cookies and I wasn't asked to donate.

Then you have to buy Somoas off of shady kid street vendors.

Amen to that

SI

[RainMaker]

The issue with the girl scout cookies is that you feel obligated to buy. They come by your desk and ask if you'd like to support the girl scouts troop. You can't say no, you can't pass.

It's not a big deal if you have money but stings if you don't. When I got out of college I was swamped with school loans and just getting by on my own. The $10 or so for girl scout cookies actually mattered to me.

[fantom1979]

Then you have to buy Somoas off of shady kid street vendors.

How do you even really know that they are girl scouts? I bet most of the kids posing as girl scouts on the streets are really just regular girls trying to make a buck.

I stay away from the street vendors, you just never know.

[Radii]

How do you even really know that they are girl scouts? I bet most of the kids posing as girl scouts on the streets are really just regular girls trying to make a buck.

As long as they have thin mints they're alright by me.

[Ironhead]

I don't mind pitching in for things impacting the people working in my immediate team (about 5 people). I really don't like having random "sad story" envelopes ending up on my desk.

I avoid "leaving the company" lunches for larger groups of people as everyone seems to run up the bill. What should just be a few bucks extra from everyone to cover the cost of lunch for the person leaving seems to always turn into $20 bucks for two slices of pizza. No thanks.