Posts that make English teachers weep!

[Kodos]

Here's a new thread idea. Whenever you come across a particularly bad internet post, add it to this thread for our enjoyment. I'll start things off:

For all intensive purposes,irregardless,of when he say what he meant to say the patch will come out , I could care less how long it takes

[molson]

I don't think that one will be topped

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

That must be on purpose.

[Noop]

My English professor would have loved you guys.

[Antmeister]

I would have to say that this will soon be full of old jbmagic posts.

[Dr. Sak]

me fail english that's unpossible?

[Kodos]

What I like about the post is that he mangles things badly enough that you can't even be sure what he's trying to say.

[Aylmar]

I didn't think it could possibly get better after he started off with "intensive purposes". I have never been more mistakenable.

[Airhog]

This website would make any english teach give up teaching

Bakers Junction (http://www.bakersjunction.com/)

[albionmoonlight]

This website would make any english teach give up teaching

Bakers Junction (http://www.bakersjunction.com/)

First, how did you find that site?

Second, I am not suprised that that guy is having trouble finding a loan.

[Lathum]

He has a human finger for sale...

[JPhillips]

You could fill a whole thread with bias/biased mistakes alone.

[PurdueBrad]

This website would make any english teach give up teaching

Bakers Junction (http://www.bakersjunction.com/)

Why did I look, why did I look??? Come on, get out of my head :banghead: Get out of my head :banghead:

I may have to show that to my seventh and eighth hour classes and see if they can find anything wrong with it. I dread the answer.

[Kodos]

You could fill a whole thread with bias/biased mistakes alone.

Not to mention dominant/dominate.

[Dodgerchick]

Uh oh. I may have to stop posting.

[JPhillips]

In another patch related thread I like Sidhtelid's use of new's instead of news.

[Kodos]

That must be on purpose.

D'oh. Further research has proven this is the case. I didn't read back from that post originally, but apparently it was intentionally bad. Dammit.

[JeeberD]

This website would make any english teach give up teaching

Bakers Junction (http://www.bakersjunction.com/)

I wouldn't have thought that a "Family Friendly Kids Safe Web Site" would have pictures of the proprietor's hip surgery as well as an emergency room pic of some naked dude with a log where his schlong should be...

[Ajaxab]

Not to mention dominant/dominate.

This thread is going to make me loose my mind.

[Izulde]

This thread is going to make me loose my mind.

..... the whole lose/loose thing drives me particularly mad, right up there with people using an apostrophe incorrectly, most notably when it's a plural noun, not a freaking possessive.

[Noop]

..... the whole lose/loose thing drives me particularly mad, right up there with people using an apostrophe incorrectly, most notably when it's a plural noun, not a freaking possessive.

Do you want to edit my paper? It will certainly drive you mad.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

The "could care less" one gets me the most. If you take just a second to think about what you're saying, you see the correct way to word it, yet no one does.

[Lathum]

The "could care less" one gets me the most. If you take just a second to think about what you're saying, you see the correct way to word it, yet no one does.

I'm guessing because most people could care less weather or not they use pour grammer.

[Abe Sargent]

He has a human finger for sale...

It's his ownfinger. That's just creepy.

[TCY Junkie]

So is having dual meanings and being confusing better than butchering words and people?

[Epi_862]

Long as we are close to the topic, something i really, really hate. This:

oMGMG LOL FERSST bugz hav bein found in de gaim bud the DevLpORS WANT JUST UR MONES!!!! SORY FOR MY SPELING!

Dont be sorry, fucking FIX IT.

[sovereignstar]

Front Office Football Central (http://operationsports.com/fofc/search.php?do=finduser&u=3344)

[Vince, Pt. II]

I really, really hate the lose/loose thing. That irritates me more than there/their/they're and apostrophe mistakes.

[Sgran]

This thread needs to be sent to intents and care

[QuikSand]

Instead of bacon try procuitto....it's and italian type of bacon.

Wow, I lose count in the space of about ten words.

[Dodgerchick]

Here's a shirt for you grammar peeps (selling at shirt.woot today)

http://sale.images.woot.com/Use_Proper_Grammar8nvDetail.png

[stevew]

how should i sale this stuff on ebay so it sale's well (http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/showthread.php?p=6526766#post6526766)

Not from our forum, but this is just brutal.

[boberot]

And why can't people who seem intelligent enough spell the word "definitely" correctly?

[definately]


The thing that really frosts me, though, is the way people throw the word "ironic" around for anything that is merely coincidental.

[Kodos]

Cue: Alanis Morissette reference.

[Samdari]

Wow, I lose count in the space of about ten words.

This would have been a better post if you had used loose instead of lose.

[QuikSand]

Great new's

Just when I think I've seen an apostrophe dropped into every conceivable place it doesn't belong...

[stevew]

When I see it typed as Sear's, the baby jesus cries.

[aran]

I'm waiting for people to start throwing in apostrophes before the "s" on the end of words that end in "s" just to spite us all.

Levi Strau's.

Time to go to clas's!

[Sun Tzu]

You guys are a bunch of asholes i dont undarstand why you have to make fun of peeple who dont have good gramer or use things like apostrafees and capitalisashon why do you have to be eletists also does anybody no were teh best place 2 find fof for cheap is online i dont want to pay 30 bucks also is their a new one coming out all i see is 2007 why cant i find 2010

[BYU 14]

Your all rude for making fun of that poster. What if he was you're kid??

[Izulde]

I literally screamed in Shopko last week when I saw "bestseller's" in their DVD section, printed boldly and proudly on their signage.

I then proceeded to go on a loud, 10 minute rant on the laziness and illiteracy of our society and the complete inability of anyone to maintain even a modicum of quality control standards. My mother and my roommate just laughed and even the Shopko worker who was standing right there was fighting to hold her laughter in.

I'm like, "What's so funny? This is serious stuff here. It's getting absolutely ridiculous."

[Sun Tzu]

I literally screamed in Shopko last week when I saw "bestseller's" in their DVD section, printed boldly and proudly on their signage.

I then proceeded to go on a loud, 10 minute rant on the laziness and illiteracy of our society and the complete inability of anyone to maintain even a modicum of quality control standards. My mother and my roommate just laughed and even the Shopko worker who was standing right there was fighting to hold her laughter in.

I'm like, "What's so funny? This is serious stuff here. It's getting absolutely ridiculous."

Well...at least people seem to take you seriously.

[DaddyTorgo]

And why can't people who seem intelligent enough spell the word "definitely" correctly?

[definately]



well i went to college and i write for a living as part of my job, and definitely still confuses me although i use it a ton. it's just...weird...i don't know

[Kodos]

I'll admit that I often have to think about whether to use "then" or "than". For some reason that one really trips me up.

[Bad-example]

well i went to college and i write for a living as part of my job, and definitely still confuses me although i use it a ton. it's just...weird...i don't know

Pretty simple test to see if you have written 'definitely' correctly.

If you can see the word finite in the middle, you probably got it right.

[DaddyTorgo]

Pretty simple test to see if you have written 'definitely' correctly.

If you can see the word finite in the middle, you probably got it right.

never thought about that...:banghead:

[boberot]

Exactly. I need to do that to myself when I try to spell the word devastation. I usually want to type "devestation" but stop myself to see if "de-vast" is part of the construction.

[JPhillips]

I had a student paper with this:

they struggled to make end's-meat.

[MrDNA]

They had difficulty making the meat belong to the end? Perhaps the end is vegetarian?

[BYU 14]

I had a student paper with this:

they struggled to make end's-meat.

Mmmmmmmmm, Rump roast

[sterlingice]

This website would make any english teach give up teaching

Bakers Junction (http://www.bakersjunction.com/)

And here I thought Geocities had closed down.

SI

[QuikSand]

As you'll see, roughly 14 of the 36 listed receivers are RBs.

Okay, adding an "s" to the abbreviation for running back(s) isn't really a true offense in my book (hey, at least he didn't use an apostrophe, right?), but I don't think there's any practical circumstance when anyone needs to use the phrase "roughly 14."

[Kodos]

Was is this news really I8 think most people would of assumed China has and is caring out these types of operations across the board.

This one makes me want to drink.

[Passacaglia]

This one makes me want to drink.

Yeah, that one hurt my head, too.

[MJ4H]

"Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It will play it'self out."


Wow.

"it'self"

Baffling.

[BrianD]

"Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It will play it'self out."


Wow.

"it'self"

Baffling.

This post qualifies as both one to make English teachers weep, and a pet peeve. "Whatever is going to happen is going to happen". Thanks a bunch, that was something that really needed to be set. We need to find an insulting form of the word tautology to throw at people who make comments like this.

[QuikSand]

Maybe this is the logical extension of the "slippery slope" we have been on with apostrophes for some time now.

First it was every appearance of its needs one... then it became pretty much every word ending with an "s" became a candidate for a random apostrophe addition. Now maybe it's any "s" anywhere in a word?

I don't know quite how to explain how I feel about this sort of thing, but it's an awful lot like being the protagonist in a zombie movie, with all these brainless creatures surrounding me and the rest of the good guys... and it's not like they really do a ton of harm by themselves, and it's not too hard to kind of avoid any one of them, but geez there seem to be a lot of them all around us.

[BrianD]

Is that the same slippery slope that changed "would have and could have" to "would've and could've" and finally to "would of and could of", or a different one?

[QuikSand]

We also don't allow Ferret's in state either

The wanton apostrophe, AND a gratuitous capitalization for no reason. The eponymous English teacher is throwing in the towel after that 1-2 punch.

[MJ4H]

I have to throw this image in here.

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y257/Gorgonian14/grammartime.gif

[AlexB]

He's just is playing horrible.

No more needs to be said (although it was about Altidore so I can understand the frustration)

[korme]

Saw a (presumably) girl's car parked at the mall the other day that was proudly stating:

SENIORS 10'!!!

Really? People putting the apostrophe on the wrong side of the year drives me apeshit. You are shortening 2010, dipshit.

[JetsIn06]

sorry i didnt mean i use a 12 man pitching staff or 1871, now in 1876 i use sometimes 2 i created my great great great grandpa, i have al spalding as my #2 and pud galvin as my closer. i use 2 converted OF ers as middle relief...but it didnt work in 1875 my ggg grandad was 12-14 2.12, al spalding was 6-9 2.97 and pud galvin orig a starter for a 3 man rotaion was 5-3 23ip 7sv...my team was .500 2 gb behind cincy after winning it all 2 yrs prior and losing in the pennant/w.s. in 1874...

[MikeVic]

Germany 4 England 1

[AlexB]

Germany 4 England 1

If it was not so one-sided I would be really angry about that. However... :)

[MJ4H]

Germany 4 England 1

LOL

[stevew]

Someone I know on facebook...

Why is it even tho I'm watching my sisters slow pitch game I still have the earge to climb the fence after a foul ball...

Then followed it up with

Haha I'm a little jellious!!

I had to hide this person.

[stevew]

nice one MSNBC/AJC

[AlexB]

Dana White was pissed before the fight that Rosenthal got the main event, then apologized after words saying he did a great job.

Must try harder

[PraetorianX]

Just a few of the things that annoy me:

Our/Are
Bye/Buy/By
Knew/New
Flew/Flu
Threw/Thru/Through/Throw
Right/Write/Wright/Rite
No/Know
Except/Accept
Seen/Scene
Sent/Scent
Hear/Here
Maid/Made
Way/Weigh
Knot/Not
Sea/See
Aid/Aide
Ad/Add
Pore/Pour
To/Too/Two
Accent/Assent/Ascent
Weather/Whether/Wether (I've yet to see somebody actually use that while talking about sheep.)
Sight/Site/Cite
Bored/Board
Missed/Mist
Chord/Cord
Heard/Herd
Wander/Wonder
For/Four/Fore
Their/There/They're
Your/You're
Bare/Bear
Then/Than
Vary/Very

My favourite was I's instead 'eyes'.

Those are just the ones that I could think of off the top of my head.

That's also not counting the various misspellings that have nothing to do with homophones. That list could take all night though.

[QuikSand]

They must have something up there sleeve since they had to of anticipated this by Amazon.

ok then

[Kodos]

Thanks goodness you protected his anonymity!

[Passacaglia]

Thanks goodness you protected his anonymity!

Or her's.

[Kodos]

Don't you mean "Or hers'es"?

[k0ruptr]

Must try harder

I figured I would be in here somewhere. When I type online on forums and what not, I don't care to check grammar. Only when I'm writing for money do I actually give a fuck. :) I'm honored.

[EagleFan]

Favourite instead of favorite... ;)

Sorry eye culdnt resist teh temptation two respond to that. Its reely hard two understand sum of wat people right on sum cites anymore. This bored has been better since a certain sumwon stopped waying in.

It can be vary hard to bear with sum of the posts and even no wut people mean when they rite. I try knot to get two upset by what I sea and learn to except what is their. Sometimes people just mist the key they were trying too type.

Wow, time really flu buy. Eye shuld probably rap it up for now as it is getting late hear.

[Chief Rum]

Thanks goodness you protected his anonymity!

Too bad he didn't disable the quote post link. Isn't that right, G... naw, I won't say it. ;)

[Ksyrup]

This probably doesn't qualify here, but I just read this and it immediately caught my eye as an inappropriate use of "of course."

"Five-star TE Nick O'Leary (http://insider.espn.go.com/ncf/recruiting/tracker/player?recruitId=90948&season=2011) of Florida, the nation's top TE and No. 12 in the ESPNU 150, tells Steve Dorsey of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel that he has narrowed his list of colleges (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/weather/hurricane/fl-nick-oleary-likes-hurricanes-0805-20100804,0,6095542.story) down to five schools: Miami, Florida State, Alabama, Georgia and North Carolina.

....

O'Leary, of course, is the grandson of Jack Nicklaus,..."


Of course?! In this context, aren't they using this to connote that his relationship to Jack Nicklaus is obvious or not surprising? How would we know that, as a matter of general information?

[remper]

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? - Encyclopedia Dramatica (http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Has_anyone_really_been_far_even_as_decided_to_use_even_go_want_to_do_look_more_like%3F)

I came across this on the interwebs somehow, and the sentence gave me a headache. It's because semi-famous at this point apparently.

[EagleFan]

My brain hurts. Just reading comments posted about tonight's UFC event on facebook and I think we have hit on about everything mentioned in this thread.

Don't even get me started on the insane upper/lower case crap...

tHis crAp wHerE PeoPLe pOst liKe ThiS


WTF is that all about?


Sorry, I am embracing my new role as a grumpy old man...

[Kodos]

P.S.

If you have old cell phone you can recycle them by dropping them off at my desk in 1SE aisle 68 or if you can’t find me you can place them in a plastic bag, leaving them on the CCC table in the cafeteria and I picket them up from there.

The phone are using by the Women’s Funding Network who fixed them up and reprogrammed as 911 phones for user by domestic violence survivors, the elderly and others at risk. I remove the drop off box from the cafeteria to my desk because phones and batteries

come up missing from the box and I know they were in there.


:)

[mckerney]

http://i.imgur.com/5dkGc.jpg (http://www.amazon.com/Moon-People-Dale-M-Courtney/dp/1436372135/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1285872758&sr=1-1)

[JediKooter]

http://i.imgur.com/5dkGc.jpg (http://www.amazon.com/Moon-People-Dale-M-Courtney/dp/1436372135/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1285872758&sr=1-1)

They fire all of their proof readers?

[mckerney]

On page 35 things start to heat up.

http://i.imgur.com/wnAIX.gif

[mckerney]

They fire all of their proof readers?

Who needs Proofreader's when self publishing a Book?

[JediKooter]

On page 35 things start to heat up.



Wow! I know I more than likely could not write a book, but, that is bad.

[Izulde]

Ah yes. Got to love vanity presses.

[JediKooter]

Who needs Proofreader's when self publishing a Book?

Ahhh, ok. Makes sense now.

[sterlingice]

Who kneads Proofreader's when self publishing A Book?

Fixed :D

SI

[QuikSand]

You know you're guy be stopped from winning at some point, so why put in the effort?

Okay then.

[britrock88]

The "could care less" one gets me the most. If you take just a second to think about what you're saying, you see the correct way to word it, yet no one does.

I must be the only person who thinks that "I could care less" is correct because it's necessarily sarcastic. Now, I can understand taking issue when the person doesn't convey some sarcasm...

[QuikSand]

...but with the housing market struggling to get its' footing...

Honestly?

[Sun Tzu]

I work, with someone, who regularly, sends emails, that look, more, or less, like this. The only real exception, is, that he sprinkles, in unnecessary words, like, kind of, maybe, obviously, and, probably, in completely, random places.

I laugh. I think his mental process only works 2-3 words at a time. My wife thinks it might be a dyslexic thing, but he talks with similar timing.

[terpkristin]

Futurama this week had a joke about it's vs. its. I immediately thought of this thread.

/tk

[SteveMax58]

Nah. It makes since...little since, but since regardless

Hmm...and this was absolutely not a joke.

[JediKooter]

I work, with someone, who regularly, sends emails, that look, more, or less, like this. The only real exception, is, that he sprinkles, in unnecessary words, like, kind of, maybe, obviously, and, probably, in completely, random places.

I laugh. I think his mental process only works 2-3 words at a time. My wife thinks it might be a dyslexic thing, but he talks with similar timing.

You work with Captain Kirk?

[Suburban Rhythm]

Grammar fail on Old Navy's college t-shirts. Uh oh. on Shine (http://shine.yahoo.com/event/fallfashion/grammar-fail-on-old-navys-college-t-shirts-uh-oh-2531551/)

http://phugcus.zenfs.com/phugc/42d88e08f9f37a8749d0f06f7cca94ce/photos/16f70e40d7a18ec6d53afb8fc469297a/ori_8d253135e76394.jpg

[AENeuman]

Going around the office today...
How to write good (sally bulford)
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

[albionmoonlight]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20100826.gif

[britrock88]

From the law school events schedule:

Screening of a 30-minute clip from the documentary "Gasland" followed by a 30-minute discussion on hydraulic fracturing by environmental law professor(s).

[Suburban Rhythm]

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/313539_10150387786011351_505006350_10578464_1071652808_n.jpg

[Matthean]

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/293925_287037721323081_100000505660399_1200933_1669099636_n.jpg

[stevew]

From ESPN Mobile Headlines:

5on5-Whose to blame for canceled games
ESPN NBA Experts: Will NBA cancel more games? (http://m.espn.go.com/nba/story?storyId=7087697)

[JPhillips]

Unnamed poster:

Carson doesnt have the arm to carry a team anymore but he is certainly smart enough to audible when their is 8 in the box and beat man coverage which the Raiders will see a lot of because of Mcfadden.

[JeeberD]

I've seen at least two references recently to playoff "births"...

[Ksyrup]

The postseason is an aphrodisiac.

[dacman]

I've seen an number of references lately about stuff that's happened in the "passed." WTF.

[stevew]

Someone did a power point at school with "Is being Brazilian a state of mine?" on it. I was barely able to restrain myself.

[sterlingice]

From what I understand, being Chilean is

(Ok, I'm a little embarrassed about that one)

SI

[Chief Rum]

One of my biggest pet peeves: people constantly using "weary" in place of "wary".

Wary means to be skeptical or suspicious. Weary means to be fatigued.

I am wary of politicians making promises.

After playing two full length basketball games, I am weary.

[gstelmack]

One of my biggest pet peeves: people constantly using "weary" in place of "wary".

Wary means to be skeptical or suspicious. Weary means to be fatigued.

I am wary of politicians making promises.

After playing two full length basketball games, I am weary.

I can be weary of politicians making promises, too.

[Chief Rum]

I can be weary of politicians making promises, too.

lol...I actually had that exact same thought while writing that post. ;)

[Passacaglia]

Maine Governor Just Can’t Stop Comparing ‘Obamacare’ To The Holocaust | TPM2012 (http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/07/lepage-maine-irs-gestapo.php)

“Do you want to know why?” LePage said when asked by the Seven Days reporter if he really worrys the IRS will kill people under the health care reform. “Rationing. They ration health care in Canada and that’s why a lot of people in Canada come down to the U.S.”

[Apathetic Lurker]

My big pet peeve is :

payed instead of paid

loose used instead of lose comes in second

Are you that fucking stupid? I am a foreigner. English is my fourth language and I learned it when I was a wee lad of ten. So why the fuck can I spell better than you syphilitic pricks?

Time to remove myself from the soapbox before I fall off and burst a vein.