Am I In The Wrong?

[Dr. Sak]

Earlier in the week my friend asked if he could stay for a week at my house. He and his wife had been having problems and they both agreed that maybe they need some time apart. So he asked if he could stay for the week and I agreed.

A little background on the guy, he and his wife have been married for 4 years and they have a kid on the way, due in February. The issues they have been having (coming from him) is that she doesn't have any friends, has no ambitions, and physically she has let her appearance go since they've been married.

He has a job where he has functions to go to after work and he has not been completely faithful to his wife. And he has this renewed sense of confidence that he can pick up chicks. He tells me about his stuff and I listen. Last night he told me that he invited a few people over Friday night. I was like, thanks for letting me know.

I tend not to get involved with married people's problems because I'm 30 and single and really have no grounds to tell him what to do.

Well I'm leaving for a trip the middle of next week and I told him he had to be out by then. And he wasn't too happy. Then I got to thinking, his brother lives a few miles from me and so do his parents, he could go stay with them. I just don't want my house turning into a party house while I am gone. But then I wondered if I am being a jerk in this whole deal. What do you guys think?

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

You agreed that he would stay for a week. You are doing a huge favor for him. Him not being ready to leave by the agreed time makes him totally in the wrong.

[flere-imsaho]

You're not being a jerk, he is. He should be using this time for some introspection and trying to figure out how they're going to go forward, instead of using it as a convenient opportunity to sow some more of his oats.

He & his wife should be in counseling, especially with a kid on the way. :(

[albionmoonlight]

I think that you have every right to tell him that he cannot stay at your house indefinitely. It is nice of you to give him some time to get his stuff together. But, with the possible exception of family, you don't owe anyone free lodging for weeks on end.

As for his issues, it sounds like his wife has depression, and that they are not dealing with it well. But, as you noted, it isn't really your business.

Short answer, you gave him a week. You are not being a jerk by not extending it, IMHO.

[Dr. Sak]

He & his wife should be in counseling, especially with a kid on the way. :(

They have been for a few years now off and on.

The only reason i ask this is because i was out to dinner with him and one of his co-workers who knows about this situation and she berated me for throwing him out. Asking me what kind of friend am I.

[gstelmack]

If he's inviting folks over, he's starting to take advantage of the situation, and you should definitely keep to that "stay for a week" limit.

[Flasch186]

yup yup

[flere-imsaho]

They have been for a few years now off and on.

I feel sorry for the child.

The only reason i ask this is because i was out to dinner with him and one of his co-workers who knows about this situation and she berated me for throwing him out. Asking me what kind of friend am I.

What a load of horseshit. Maybe she should put him up so he can avoid his issues at her house, not yours. And let's be clear - that's exactly what he's doing at this point.

[RedKingGold]

They have been for a few years now off and on.

The only reason i ask this is because i was out to dinner with him and one of his co-workers who knows about this situation and she berated me for throwing him out. Asking me what kind of friend am I.

Then she can have your friend stay at her place as long as he wants.

[albionmoonlight]

My Father in Law had a sort of similar thing happen. He has a house that he isn't using, so he was renting it out. And this woman got behind on rent. He's not a jerk, but he also wanted his rent, so he started putting pressure on her.

Then, all of her friends and family came out of the woodwork, telling him how this woman had these medical expenses and other "good" reasons (I forget the details) that she could not come up with the rent.

Funny thing was, none of them (her friends and family) were willing to help her out. They wanted her landlord--the one person with no personal attachment to her--to bear the burden of her expenses.

It is really really easy to tell other people how they should be good.

The landlord story ends well, btw. Her brother finally agreed to pay her rent. Which is actually another point for you--this guy will not be homeless when you kick him out. The reason that other friends/family have not stepped up is because you are doing it. It will be amazing how he will suddenly have options when you force him to.

[Dr. Sak]

The reason that other friends/family have not stepped up is because you are doing it. It will be amazing how he will suddenly have options when you force him to.

The main reason is because I know the stuff that he does and won't judge him on it. I don't think his family has any idea what is going on. His family won't be as nice to him as I am. They'll let him have it for as far as how he is acting and how he is screwing up.

[molson]

You've handled things perfectly.

Usually the scenario here is that the host would really, really want the friend out, but not have the balls to actually ask him to leave, so there's just this growing resentment between the host and the friend.

Instead, you were just like, "dude, get the hell out of here". He'll get over it, you stood up for yourself, this will definitely be better for everyone in the long run.

[RedKingGold]

The main reason is because I know the stuff that he does and won't judge him on it. I don't think his family has any idea what is going on. His family won't be as nice to him as I am. They'll let him have it for as far as how he is acting and how he is screwing up.

Hate to say it, but maybe that's a good thing for him?

[Samdari]

they have a kid on the way, due in February. physically she has let her appearance go since they've been married.

Wait till he sees her after childbirth....

[Kodos]

I can't understand why he didn't go to a relative's house in the first place. Probably, he wants a place where he can cheat but not have his family know. You were nice to put him up for a week, but I wouldn't allow him to extend the stay. It sure sounds like he is just using you.

[JonInMiddleGA]

If he's inviting folks over, he's starting to take advantage of the situation, and you should definitely keep to that "stay for a week" limit.

+1

[Dr. Sak]

Hate to say it, but maybe that's a good thing for him?

Personally I want to lay into him and tell him what an asshole he is. I understand the fact that maybe him and his wife grew apart but the screwing around behind her back is what I don't like. He texts and goes after other girls and tells me about it.

Like I said before, I don't like to judge people or get in his business because lord knows I am far from perfect. All my/our friends are married but me, i know i shouldn't fell obligated to take him in but in a way I do. I wanted to help him out, but it is becoming increasingly obvious that this week has become "play time" instead of a reflection time.

[DaddyTorgo]

Personally I want to lay into him and tell him what an asshole he is. I understand the fact that maybe him and his wife grew apart but the screwing around behind her back is what I don't like. He texts and goes after other girls and tells me about it.

Like I said before, I don't like to judge people or get in his business because lord knows I am far from perfect. All my/our friends are married but me, i know i shouldn't fell obligated to take him in but in a way I do. I wanted to help him out, but it is becoming increasingly obvious that this week has become "play time" instead of a reflection time.

but if you're his friend you ought to be getting in his business. i mean if you're good enough friends with the guy to let him stay at your house...i dunno maybe it's just my friends, but anyone that i am that friendly with if i was being that much of an asshole i'd expect them to lay into me. and you can be damn sure i'd lay into them if the roles were reversed!

[stevew]

You should go over and fuck his wife.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

I'm not sure I'd lay into the guy per se, but I'd definitely let him know that I felt uncomfortable hearing about his infidelity while hearing him in the same breath wonder why his marriage is on the rocks.

I had a friend who overstayed his welcome by about three weeks. One Sunday afternoon while he was napping in front of the TV on the couch, I disassembled the bed in the guest bedroom and moved it in pieces to store in the basement. He got the point and left a couple hours after his nap was over.

[cuervo72]

Tell Tiger to find his own damned place!

[spleen1015]

That woman that was giving you shit for making him leave is probably his latest piece.

I think you're doing the right thing. I would tell him how you feel about his actions.

[Dr. Sak]

That woman that was giving you shit for making him leave is probably his latest piece.

I think you're doing the right thing. I would tell him how you feel about his actions.

He wishes she was his latest. And I immediately came back with..."well let him stay with you." She declined.

[albionmoonlight]

Tell Tiger to find his own damned place!

LOL

[Lathum]

Put me in the camp that you aren't out of line. There is a reason he chose a single dude to stay with.

[DaddyTorgo]

Tell Tiger to find his own damned place!

well played sir!

[ISiddiqui]

Sak, you are completely in the right here.

And cuervo, very well done.

[Rizon]

Nope, he's wanting to use your place as the Party Palace.

[sterlingice]

They have been for a few years now off and on.

The only reason i ask this is because i was out to dinner with him and one of his co-workers who knows about this situation and she berated me for throwing him out. Asking me what kind of friend am I.

Sounds like you're perfectly in the right.

Seems odd to me that a female co-worker would side with the guy in a situation like this. Usually this sort of thing splits across gender lines. Unless she's who he was planning on meeting at your place this weekend- I don't usually think that way but it was the first thing my mind jumped to (tho you addressed that above).

"What kind of friend are you": Sounds like a fight of people in high school, not co-workers. But I find myself often thinking that "real life" is more and more like high school than I ever imagined (or wanted it to be, frankly) as so few people ever "grow up" and that's coming from the guy who is this board's resident expert on Pokemon!

SI

[lungs]

Is helping a friend out like that in general a bad idea?

An old college buddy of mine (he dropped out freshman year but we're still good friends) has an open offer to come stay with me now that I've got a three bedroom house and it's only me living there. Basically, he lives in the northernmost part of Wisconsin where there's basically no opportunities and he's turned to drinking probably more than he should.

I'd like to see him get out of there. He's actually a pretty reasonable guy so I'm not too worried as I've had the offer to him for about a year now and he hasn't taken advantage of it. Recently he called me and said he's seriously considering it as I think he's hitting the bottle even harder now.

I'm guessing I'd just have to set up some boundaries and expectations. Sitting around getting drunk all day won't be part of the deal.

[DaddyTorgo]

Is helping a friend out like that in general a bad idea?

An old college buddy of mine (he dropped out freshman year but we're still good friends) has an open offer to come stay with me now that I've got a three bedroom house and it's only me living there. Basically, he lives in the northernmost part of Wisconsin where there's basically no opportunities and he's turned to drinking probably more than he should.

I'd like to see him get out of there. He's actually a pretty reasonable guy so I'm not too worried as I've had the offer to him for about a year now and he hasn't taken advantage of it. Recently he called me and said he's seriously considering it as I think he's hitting the bottle even harder now.

I'm guessing I'd just have to set up some boundaries and expectations. Sitting around getting drunk all day won't be part of the deal.

i don't think it's a bad idea at all - as long as you have some end goals

[Dr. Sak]

I think I would be more at ease with this situation had he been thrown out by his wife and she was the one doing the cheating.

[RomaGoth]

I also agree you are doing the right thing. I Kinda look at it the same way as DT, you should at least let him know that what he is doing is wrong. As a friend you owe him that much. After that though, I wouldn't mention it again unless he brings it up again. In any case, a week is more than generous and as others here have said, it looks like he is just using your place as a bachelor pad.

[Mustang]

I feel sorry for the child.


This.

What a f'd up situation to be born into. Having a child was one of the greatest things that has happened to me so, I just can't understand people's behavior sometimes. I know things don't work out between couples, things happen, but with a child on the way and him treating this like his personal play time, I wouldn't worry too much about pissing him off since he pretty much seems to just care about himself at this time. Go ahead, judge him. I think more people need a swift kick in the balls to make them understand how much of an idiot they are at this point in their life rather than everyone shrugging.

[RomaGoth]

This.

What a f'd up situation to be born into. Having a child was one of the greatest things that has happened to me so, I just can't understand people's behavior sometimes. I know things don't work out between couples, things happen, but with a child on the way and him treating this like his personal play time, I wouldn't worry too much about pissing him off since he pretty much seems to just care about himself at this time. Go ahead, judge him. I think more people need a swift kick in the balls to make them understand how much of an idiot they are at this point in their life rather than everyone shrugging.

+1

I also would like to add that the age of political correctness has done this to us, especially men. We are not allowed to tell someone that they are fucking up, and society dictates that we are not manly enough if we don't act like a real man (i.e., cheat on our significant other, drink gallons of alcohol, and watch porn).

I hate the PC shit that has taken over this country, if you can't tell.

[CraigSca]

Weird. I thought a "real man" was loyal, knows when to say when and stayed faithful to his relationships with his significant other and family.

Has political correctness switched to the other side where it's more PC to be a jackass?

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Drinking to excess, chasing tail, and watching porn is PC? I may have to rethink a few things.

[ISiddiqui]

How in the fuck did that become a rant about political correctness? And how in the same Hell did political correctness say:

we are not manly enough if we don't act like a real man

Seriously... what the everliving fuck?

[sterlingice]

I think more people need a swift kick in the balls

It would certainly clear up this guy's calendar for more reflection and less playing around time ;)

SI

[RomaGoth]

Weird. I thought a "real man" was loyal, knows when to say when and stayed faithful to his relationships with his significant other and family.

Has political correctness switched to the other side where it's more PC to be a jackass?

I think it is a two-edged sword. It is "cool" to be a jackass and cheat, get high/drunk, and staple your ass cheeks together, and although nobody wants to admit it, these things on television are ok. When someone does this out in the world, so to speak, it doesn't seem that we are allowed to call them on how stupid it is. We aren't being forgiving enough, or understanding enough, or supportive enough.

I am probably not explaining it very well, so forgive me.

[molson]

Ya, I think the point is right RomaGoth but I think the blame goes to "American culture" rather than "P.C."

[sterlingice]

+1

I also would like to add that the age of political correctness has done this to us, especially men. We are not allowed to tell someone that they are fucking up, and society dictates that we are not manly enough if we don't act like a real man (i.e., cheat on our significant other, drink gallons of alcohol, and watch porn).

I hate the PC shit that has taken over this country, if you can't tell.

I would have thought it was our litigious society where people would be afraid to do something for fear of being sued.

Or a more isolated society because, while we can email people around the world, we don't even know our own neighbors like we used to.

Or a more selfish or socially darwinistic society that puts ones self ahead of everything else because only the strong survive and we should only be looking out for ourselves.

But PC? Really? PC's a lot of things but this hardly seems like one of them.

SI

[JonInMiddleGA]

Seriously... what the everliving fuck?

I read it as him saying "real man" in quotes. But maybe I'm the only one who thought that way?

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Well for what it's worth I find what is shown on TV as people my age having fun is far from what my social group, and most social groups I'm aware of, actually do.

[RomaGoth]

I would have thought it was our litigious society where people would be afraid to do something for fear of being sued.

Or a more isolated society because, while we can email people around the world, we don't even know our own neighbors like we used to.

Or a more selfish or socially darwinistic society that puts ones self ahead of everything else because only the strong survive and we should only be looking out for ourselves.

But PC? Really? PC's a lot of things but this hardly seems like one of them.

SI

What I am saying is that Dr. Sak probably feels like if he says something to his friend about what he is doing is fucked up, he will be attacked by others who say he is not being understanding, supportive, etc....and the woman they were with at dinner (or whatever it was) seems to back this up. That is what I meant by the PC issue...

[RomaGoth]

I read it as him saying "real man" in quotes. But maybe I'm the only one who thought that way?

Yeah I forgot the quotes. Thanks Jon.

[RomaGoth]

Ya, I think the point is right RomaGoth but I think the blame goes to "American culture" rather than "P.C."

But aren't these two things really intertwined as to be one and the same, at least at some level?

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

OK, so you're saying it's not PC to be judgmental. I could buy that. Just look at the Tiger situation. So many people's first response to those who were disappointed in him was "So you're perfect, huh?" which just misses the point altogether.

[molson]

But aren't these two things really intertwined as to be one and the same, at least at some level?

No, I think they're the opposite.

P.C. is going overboard doing something "correct". Like saying "holiday party" instead of "Christmas party".

Edit: Oh, Ronnie Dobbs2 I think figured it out. You're not talking about his behavior being P.C., but that it's P.C. not to get involved in someone's life in a judgmental way.

[Dr. Sak]

So many people's first response to those who were disappointed in him was "So you're perfect, huh?" which just misses the point altogether.

See that's my point. I am far from a perfect person and have done somethings that I regret now. So I don't feel that I have the right to judge him or tell him that he's screwing up.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

See that's my point. I am far from a perfect person and have done somethings that I regret now. So I don't feel that I have the right to judge him or tell him that he's screwing up.

If a real friend of mine ever thought I was fucking something up, I would hope he tells me.

edit: Though I've come to realize I am not really lockstep with my peers on many things.

[RomaGoth]

If a real friend of mine ever thought I was fucking something up, I would hope he tells me.

This is exactly how I see things. Unfortunately, society doesn't seem to think it's ok to do this, because of the whole "look at your life, you have fucked up too so who are you to talk" mentality.

I think Sak has every right to say something to his friend, regardless of his own mistakes, such as they are.

[MacroGuru]

Not overboard, call him out on it and what he is doing. Especially if you are his friend.

Sometimes it takes a smack upside the head by someone that we know or "protects" us to truly wake us up.

[CraigSca]

See that's my point. I am far from a perfect person and have done somethings that I regret now. So I don't feel that I have the right to judge him or tell him that he's screwing up.

But, there's a child involved (or soon to be). No one's perfect, but I don't see that as a reason not to let a friend know what he's doing is wrong. I mean, I'm not sure, but I don't really think it's a grey area here. Of course, there's a wrong way and a right way to go about it.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Yeah, he'll probably be pissed about it. That's the natural reaction. No one likes being told they're in the wrong. But if he's got half a brain and the advice is right, he'll come around to it.

[MacroGuru]

But, there's a child involved (or soon to be). No one's perfect, but I don't see that as a reason not to let a friend know what he's doing is wrong. I mean, I'm not sure, but I don't really think it's a grey area here. Of course, there's a wrong way and a right way to go about it.

Bingo - just a personal example...my move out to Buffalo went great until my company folded on me and I went back traveling with my old company. My wife hit a major depression and was thinking maybe she didn't want to be married anymore, she missed out on life...yada yada.

She called me up when I was on the road asked me to move out so she could "find herself"....I was shocked, tore up and emotional over it...but it took her parents and her friends here saying you need to wake up you have 3 kids, there is nothing wrong in your life, you are just away from a main support structure and branch out.

She called me back within 2 days after and rescinded her statement, begging me to forgive her and told me what her friends and family said, oh and she was pissed at them for pointing out that she was being a jackass but got over it.

edit: I was still in a stressful funk when I got home but Render helped me get out of that one...with a night of lots of alcohol.

[RomaGoth]

Bingo - just a personal example...my move out to Buffalo went great until my company folded on me and I went back traveling with my old company. My wife hit a major depression and was thinking maybe she didn't want to be married anymore, she missed out on life...yada yada.

She called me up when I was on the road asked me to move out so she could "find herself"....I was shocked, tore up and emotional over it...but it took her parents and her friends here saying you need to wake up you have 3 kids, there is nothing wrong in your life, you are just away from a main support structure and branch out.

She called me back within 2 days after and rescinded her statement, begging me to forgive her and told me what her friends and family said, oh and she was pissed at them for pointing out that she was being a jackass but got over it.

edit: I was still in a stressful funk when I got home but Render helped me get out of that one...with a night of lots of alcohol.

Glad to hear things turned out ok for you and your wife. Doesn't "Buffalo" = "Alcohol" in the English language? :D

[RendeR]

Glad to hear things turned out ok for you and your wife. Doesn't "Buffalo" = "Alcohol" in the English language? :D



Buffalo is a great drinking town with a "sports" problem....

[RendeR]

Oh and just to put my nickel in here:

Sack just do this:
Go to the door, stand next to it and say
"Dude, look, Your my friend and I let you stay here as a friend because I wanted you to be able tow ork this through."

"However, you're a royal prick for screwing around on your wife. You have a child on teh way and you're using me and my home as some sort of Party zone where you think you can act like a teenager and not get caught for it."

"You need to leave. You need to get your shit together and talk to your wife and figure out WTF you need to do."

"Stop acting like a fucking moron"

"I hope you work things out, but you gotta get outta my house"


then stand there until he leaves.

[ISiddiqui]

This is exactly how I see things. Unfortunately, society doesn't seem to think it's ok to do this, because of the whole "look at your life, you have fucked up too so who are you to talk" mentality.

I think that comes more from the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 7:1-4)...

Anyways, the excesses of P.C. to me comes from a very judgemental point of view. Ie, "you should call these people this term because doing otherwise would be offensive to them" is a pretty judgmental sentiment to me.

[Logan]

Tell Tiger to find his own damned place!

This is the greatest FOFC response ever.

[Marc Vaughan]

The only reason i ask this is because i was out to dinner with him and one of his co-workers who knows about this situation and she berated me for throwing him out. Asking me what kind of friend am I.

Hope you asked her how long she was happy to have him stay with her ... I would have :D

I'm sorry - you've been a good friend, but he has to get on with his life and you have your own to live, I don't know your situation but for example if you have a girlfriend that relationship could be seriously damaged by having a live in lodger (similarly but different if you don't but get one you have the same issue).

[Eaglesfan27]

You agreed that he would stay for a week. You are doing a huge favor for him. Him not being ready to leave by the agreed time makes him totally in the wrong.

Haven't read the rest of the responses, but this sums up my reply perfectly.

[BishopMVP]

Haven't read the rest of the responses, but this sums up my reply perfectly.+2. I've crashed on friends couches, had friends crash on mine but it's always with a game plan and eventual end goal. You did the most important part by stating he was good for a week upfront, and now he hasn't been taking proactive steps to solve the problem, so give him the kick in the ass he needs. He clearly won't be sleeping on the street tomorrow.

[Logan]

Good job helping Macro render.

[Lathum]

See that's my point. I am far from a perfect person and have done somethings that I regret now. So I don't feel that I have the right to judge him or tell him that he's screwing up.

Big deal.

If you are good enough friends that he feels comfortable asking if he can crash at your place then you should be able to tell him he is being a wanker.

I sure as hell know Saldana would rip me to shreds if I acted the way your friend is, as would I rip him if the roles were reversed.

( insert jokes here)

[Dr. Sak]

( insert jokes here)

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/entertainment/2006-06/06/xin_5406030615030981188615.jpg

Seriously though...thanks everyone for all your advice

[BrianD]

The reason he asked to stay with you rather than with his family is because he knows that there is a better chance of you letting him avoid growing up and facing his problems. Really, if you let him stay and make your place into his party-house, you are just enabling him. If he was working on his troubles and not quite done, then kicking him out might be bad. As it stands now, kicking him out will make him face his problems and work toward a solution. It may be painful, but it will be good for him in the long run.

[DanGarion]

When did you start hanging out with Tiger Woods?

[ISiddiqui]

Too late!! :mad:

[DanGarion]

Too late!! :mad:

Yeah. Oh well.

[RendeR]

Good job helping Macro render.


I just drove him around and got him drunk.

[MacroGuru]

I just drove him around and got him drunk.

Which makes you a saint in some circles :D;)

[RendeR]

Which makes you a saint in some circles :D;)


*quietly polishes his halo*

[cougarfreak]

You're a better friend that I am. I'd tell him to get his shit together, grow up, and be a responsible adult.

[dawgfan]

Just to re-state what many others have already said: no, you're not in the wrong. Not in the slightest in fact.

While acknowledging that I obviously don't know all the details, based off what you've said is going on, seems clear your buddy wasn't really ready to settle down. He still thinks he's hot shit, and he was struggling with the idea of being with one woman for the rest of his life. Maybe his wife is letting herself go, or maybe he's over-stating things to try to justify being a cheater. And now that she's pregnant, he's panicking.

From what you've said, this situation is pretty much his deal - he's freaking out about being committed to his wife for the rest of his life and now having a child, which will greatly change his life.

You were very nice to offer him a place to stay, but it's clear he's not really interested in figuring things out - if that were the case, he'd be staying with family. No, he's interested in having an easier time hooking up with other women without any judgment.

You've been more than fair with him. Time for him to grow up and address his issues. It's too bad he didn't do so before his wife got pregnant, but hopefully for the child's sake he figures his shit out, whether that's staying with his wife and committing himself to really work on his marriage, or making a decisive break and not stringing things along with a series of affairs behind her back. Either way, he'll need to commit himself to being a good father.

And regardless of your past, that doesn't mean you can't offer up your opinion of what he's doing. Being a good friend sometimes means applying a figurative (and occasionally an actual) slap across the face.

[cuervo72]

You're a better friend that I am

Dr. Din?

[Drake]

Maybe his wife is letting herself go, or maybe he's over-stating things to try to justify being a cheater.

Ding.

If a handbook exists for cheaters, this is on page one, second paragraph. First paragraph contains the phrase "my wife hasn't had sex with me in years[1]."

If I was wagering on this, I'd bet his wife's apparent depression is very likely directly related to the fact that he's a cheating, dishonest, lying bastard. Being around toxic people has a tendency of taking a toll on even the healthiest individuals.




[1] Sorry, cuervo.

[JHandley]

The only reason i ask this is because i was out to dinner with him and one of his co-workers who knows about this situation

It has been my experience that this isn't true. I'm quite certain she thinks this is true. It's always been fascinating to me that people get caught up in the fallacy that "Sure, he's lying to everyone else, but he's telling me the truth." This guy is a cheater which, by definition, means he's a liar. He has absolutely zero credibility.

There is no reason to believe he's treating you or this co-worker, with more respect than he treats either his wife or the women he's sleeping with. He's simply giving you enough of the story to make him still be likeable.

I'm with you on giving him a place to live for a week, but if you wait on him to draw the line on when enough is enough, he'll never get there.

[cuervo72]

[1] Sorry, cuervo.

It is what it is. I'm thinking I'm about due though, so being optimistic. :thumbsup:

[Solecismic]

Buffalo is a great drinking town with a "sports" problem....

Good to know. I'll be there this weekend.

Yeah, the handbook on affairs begins with the justification. How someone cheats on a child who needs both a mother and a father to make the most of his or her life is beyond my limited comprehension.

Regret your marriage? Get out before you cheat, before you decide to bring an innocent child into the equation.

[Dr. Sak]

A little update....had a talk with him last night. He packed his stuff up and went to his parents.

[MacroGuru]

A little update....had a talk with him last night. He packed his stuff up and went to his parents.

Awesome...now the true question is...How did he take it?

[Dr. Sak]

We talked over IM cause I wasn't going to get home till late cause of the gym. He sent me an email saying that he got his stuff and is going over to his parents. It was going to be easier that way. He thanked me for letting him stay and said if I wanted to hang out this weekend to let him know.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

We talked over IM cause I wasn't going to get home till late cause of the gym. He sent me an email saying that he got his stuff and is going over to his parents. It was going to be easier that way. He thanked me for letting him stay and said if I wanted to hang out this weekend to let him know.

Sounds like he was at least smart enough to realize he was overstaying his welcome. Good to see he didn't take it out on you.

Moving in with his parents is probably the best thing for him. Eventually, they'll drive him nuts and he'll have to confront the situation at hand.

[SportsDino]

Looks resolved, but you say a week thats all you had to give. It was charity to begin with, and nothing irks me more than people think you give a little all the sudden you OWE something. Seems like your friend realized it was stupid and settled down.

[RomaGoth]

We talked over IM cause I wasn't going to get home till late cause of the gym. He sent me an email saying that he got his stuff and is going over to his parents. It was going to be easier that way. He thanked me for letting him stay and said if I wanted to hang out this weekend to let him know.

Sounds like he took it pretty well. Hopefully his parents will help him get his life together.