So it's time for a vasectomy......

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

I'm done having kids. Any advice from anyone who might have previously sat on a bag of frozen peas for two days?

[tucker rocky]

Use a condom, keep your nuts.

[Samdari]

Use a condom, keep your nuts.

I would disagree wholeheartedly with this statement. Life is far better without those awful things or the wife on pills.

That said, it was the third most painful experience of my life. The first two being living with newborns #1 and #2.

EDIT: No real advice to give, you just have to grin and bear it. There is an upside though - you're on the shelf for about a week, but in the 4-6 weeks after that, you need to do the deed almost constantly to clean the pipes. The Dr. actually brought my wife in and lectured her on this point. I tried to bribe him to tell her it was 12 weeks, but his professional ethics won out.

[cubboyroy1826]

After 4 kids i wound up going in and having the old snip snip. I really did not have any issues and was back up at work the next day.

[tucker rocky]

This thread is not for me, I'm single. :D

[path12]

I had no problems except my balls blowing up to nerfball size the first night. Icing your nuts = no fun.

But as Samdari pointed out, you've got a great stretch ahead of you after the initial layup.

[cougarfreak]

No issues for me, just follow Dr.'s orders about time off, ice, etc. I was fine after day 2.

[Drake]

One of the best decisions I ever made. Healed and back to work within 48 hours.

I only had a bit of swelling, but was pretty proactive with the ice.

But never having to use condoms again (or worry that your wife messed up her pills) = awesome.

[boberot]

One of the best decisions I ever made. Healed and back to work within 48 hours.

I only had a bit of swelling, but was pretty proactive with the ice.

But never having to use condoms again (or worry that your wife messed up her pills) = awesome.

Hells, yeah.

Best decision for me too. Condom-free sex without the worry of diseases or accidental impregnation? Damn straight.

Definitely don't overexert for a few days. I was instructed to wear a jock for extra support for the first few days after. Do what they tell you to avoid infection -- other than that and the blood-chilling knowledge that a whole team is surgically working on your nutsack, no big deal.

[RomaGoth]

Mine wasn't too bad, just make sure the doctor removes the tape carefully....:eek:

(or you could do a no-needle vasectomy....)

[JediKooter]

Man, this thread is nuts.

[RomaGoth]

Man, this thread is nuts.

If you're married, your wife already has those.

[CamEdwards]

General, not a local anasthetic. And yeah, it's painful for a few days and uncomfortable for a few more, but after a couple of weeks you won't even be able to tell you had someone slice open your nutsack.

[k0ruptr]

If you're married, your wife already has those.

Lets not get testy now...

[Pumpy Tudors]

Jeez, I hope nobody walks past my cubicle to see me grimacing and covering my balls. This thread is brutal.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Jeez, I hope nobody walks past my cubicle to see me grimacing and covering my balls. This thread is brutal.

I assumed it was only a matter of time before Pumpy chimed it. He says the thread is brutal, but at some level, he loves it.

[Kodos]

My wife volunteered to get an IUD. I did not argue. :p

[Noop]

My wife volunteered to get an IUD. I did not argue. :p

Hmm... could she want to avoid getting pregnant... by someone else?

[CU Tiger]

"When you're talking about a vasectomy, I hope your writing down your obituary"

[CU Tiger]

Dola-
In all seriousness wife had a tubal after #2...I tell her all the time she is done having kids, I am a maybe

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I thought about getting one as a single guy, but why load a gun with blanks if you're going to leave it locked up?

I still think it would be fun to play the "it ain't mine" game and have the deck stacked in my favor.

[RedKingGold]

Whatever happened to just pulling out and blowing it on her face?

[Bigsmooth]

Whatever happened to just pulling out and blowing it on her face?

Beauty.:lol:

[JediKooter]

If you're married, your wife already has those.

I think she packed them up when she left me.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Whatever happened to just pulling out and blowing it on her face?

You can still do that after the vasectomy. In fact, if your girlfriend/spouse is weight conscious, you can note that the calorie count is actually lower sans sperm if she were to digest it.

Consider that your 'learned something new today' moment.

[Raiders Army]

I was out for a month and had to have another surgery after my vasectomy. Good luck.

It is all worth it in the end.

[RainMaker]

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/vasectomy.jpg

[Philliesfan980]

Your wife should be getting her tubes tied. You guys are all whipped.

[Schmidty]

I'm already sterile. :(

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I'm already sterile. :(

Turn that frown upside down, pal... you're off the hook!

[stevew]

Dola-
In all seriousness wife had a tubal after #2...I tell her all the time she is done having kids, I am a maybe

lol, i say the same thing

[Noop]

Whatever happened to just pulling out and blowing it on her face?

It's the gentlemanly thing to do, anything else would be uncivilized .

[Schmidty]

Turn that frown upside down, pal... you're off the hook!

I'm very thankful for my (step) daughter, but I would like to see little Schmidtys running around....

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I'm very thankful for my (step) daughter, but I would like to see little Schmidtys running around....

It's the cruel way of the world. Those who don't want kids are baby factories, those who do... not so much.

I guess there's no chance of doing the invitro thing? That's what my sister & her husband did. He kept saying it was her until he had to get tested & they found out his fish weren't swimming... then it was the changing of the undies, etc.

[MacroGuru]

It was quick and painless and I was only down for 48 hours.


HOWEVER...child #3 was born 2 years after the Vasectomy.....He is mine there is no doubt but the first words out of my mouth when she told me she was pregnant..."Is it mine" and I was promptly slapped and when I woke up 2 days later I called the doctor and took a few tests that confirmed my boys were still working.

[Noop]

It was quick and painless and I was only down for 48 hours.


HOWEVER...child #3 was born 2 years after the Vasectomy.....He is mine there is no doubt but the first words out of my mouth when she told me she was pregnant..."Is it mine" and I was promptly slapped and when I woke up 2 days later I called the doctor and took a few tests that confirmed my boys were still working.

I would have asked the same thing because you were under the assumption your boys weren't suppose to be swimming.

[MrDNA]

Yeah, that MacroSlap was unwarranted; legitimate question when you think you're no longer packing heat.

[Lathum]

It's the cruel way of the world. Those who shouldn't have kids are baby factories, those who should... not so much.

.

fixed

[Dodgerchick]

umm... i probably shouldn't be in here

[Kodos]

Hmm... could she want to avoid getting pregnant... by someone else?

I think you are on to something.

[JediKooter]

It was quick and painless and I was only down for 48 hours.


HOWEVER...child #3 was born 2 years after the Vasectomy.....He is mine there is no doubt but the first words out of my mouth when she told me she was pregnant..."Is it mine" and I was promptly slapped and when I woke up 2 days later I called the doctor and took a few tests that confirmed my boys were still working.

You get a refund?

[SirFozzie]

You get a refund?

They offered to go double or nothing...

[JediKooter]

They offered to go double or nothing...

Hey-oh!!!!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

fixed

Thanks! :D

[RomaGoth]

It was quick and painless and I was only down for 48 hours.


HOWEVER...child #3 was born 2 years after the Vasectomy.....He is mine there is no doubt but the first words out of my mouth when she told me she was pregnant..."Is it mine" and I was promptly slapped and when I woke up 2 days later I called the doctor and took a few tests that confirmed my boys were still working.

Did you get the follow-up done? I guess you are supposed to have two follow-ups, I had my first with no fish swimming. Never bothered with the second one. Your story has me worried now....:eek:

[MacroGuru]

You get a refund?

Actually the Doc paid for the entire child birth above and beyond everything that truly needed to be taken care of, and yes I did have to go through it again to ensure they are no longer swimming....

[MacroGuru]

Did you get the follow-up done? I guess you are supposed to have two follow-ups, I had my first with no fish swimming. Never bothered with the second one. Your story has me worried now....:eek:

yeah I had the first one done, they weren't swimming never went to the second...I don't think the second would have caught what happened....For me, I truly feel he was meant to be, my body healed itself to be able to produce him and he is truly my little guy.

[Lathum]

yeah I had the first one done, they weren't swimming never went to the second...I don't think the second would have caught what happened....For me, I truly feel he was meant to be, my body healed itself to be able to produce him and he is truly my little guy.

Thats some Jurassic Park shit.

[Kodos]

Life finds a way.

[JediKooter]

Actually the Doc paid for the entire child birth above and beyond everything that truly needed to be taken care of, and yes I did have to go through it again to ensure they are no longer swimming....

Oh wow. That's cool he took care of the tab. I tell you what, your reaction would be the same as mine if I found out that my wife was pregnant after the procedure. :D

[johnnyshaka]

I'm going to be seeing my doctor about getting the big "V" in the next month or so. Two days of inconvenience for a lifetime of condomless sex is well worth it, IMO.

Now, my wife's breast reduction surgery next month is what I'm going to be crying about for weeks, maybe months.

Life just isn't fair sometimes.

[tucker rocky]

Funny song might fit this thread :D


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[Mizzou B-ball fan]

So how in the hell can it actually 'reconnect' for lack of a better word? Do I have to tell him to tie a triple knot or something? Good lord.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

umm... i probably shouldn't be in here

No.....No. You're fine. You might come in handy for the next 4-6 weeks. :D

[bulletsponge]

I'm going to be seeing my doctor about getting the big "V" in the next month or so. Two days of inconvenience for a lifetime of condomless sex is well worth it, IMO.

Now, my wife's breast reduction surgery next month is what I'm going to be crying about for weeks, maybe months.

Life just isn't fair sometimes.

breast reduction? shouldnt that be a crime? at the very least are they going to make them "18 year old perky"?

[Lathum]

Now, my wife's breast reduction surgery next month is what I'm going to be crying about for weeks, maybe months.

Life just isn't fair sometimes.

Pics plz. K. Thx.

[johnnyshaka]

I suppose I could try the tried and true Charlie Harper method from Two and Half Men..."without your big boobs guys are going to stare at your big ass instead..."

[johnnyshaka]

Oh, and Lathum, we all know boobie pictures always get deleted around here...so it's just not worth the effort. Sorry. ;)

[bbor]

Worst thread title ever!

[Samdari]

So how in the hell can it actually 'reconnect' for lack of a better word? Do I have to tell him to tie a triple knot or something? Good lord.

Like any part of your body that gets cut, it tries to heal.

My Dr. told me 1 in 400 do that.

[Oilers9911]

I bet we could raise a fortune for Haiti if we auctioned off the chance to give MBBF the vasectomy.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

I bet we could raise a fortune for Haiti if we auctioned off the chance to give MBBF the vasectomy.

I lost this bet. I thought this post would come before the first page ended. I'm disappointed with you all.

[stevew]

If your wife had a C-Section on the 2nd baby, and y'all declined the opportunity for him to take care of her "While he was in there," then you deserve the nut pain associated with not making good decisions. :)

[JediKooter]

Now, my wife's breast reduction surgery next month is what I'm going to be crying about for weeks, maybe months.

Life just isn't fair sometimes.

My wife (soon to be ex) had breast reduction surgery and she was miserable for a couple of weeks after. They went from something like an F or an H, can't remember which, down to a D. I had the honor of draining her drain cups every few hours and writing down how much fluid was in them.

Ah, the things you do for love...

[johnnyshaka]

My wife (soon to be ex) had breast reduction surgery and she was miserable for a couple of weeks after. They went from something like an F or an H, can't remember which, down to a D. I had the honor of draining her drain cups every few hours and writing down how much fluid was in them.

Ah, the things you do for love...

Kicking her out for getting boob work done...man, that's ballsy. ;)

[RedKingGold]

If my girl had "F" sized boobs, well, I'd say "F" that.

THERE ARE LIMITS MAN...

[path12]

Kicking her out for getting boob work done...man, that's ballsy. ;)

Honey, there's less of you to love.

[JediKooter]

Kicking her out for getting boob work done...man, that's ballsy. ;)

Haha! Gotta have standards.

[Schmidty]

If my girl had "F" sized boobs, well, I'd say "F" that.

THERE ARE LIMITS MAN...

No.

:nono:

[JeeberD]

My wife volunteered to get an IUD. I did not argue. :p

My mom had an IUD when she became pregnant with me. For your sake I hope IUD technology has improved over the past 33 years...

[Autumn]

I need to make an appointment for the same, so good to see this on here. I've been wondering and don't know anyone who's had the procedure. Two days for no more worries, scheduling, condoms ... sounds good to me.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Mine's scheduled for February 26th.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

One day left. My naughty parts shiver in fear of the snipping to come. If you hear a scream of death about 2:30 PM tomorrow, you'll know the source.

I just got my big ol' Valium pill from the pharmacy yesterday. Should be interesting to see what that does to me.

[DaddyTorgo]

yikes!

[DaddyTorgo]

I lost this bet. I thought this post would come before the first page ended. I'm disappointed with you all.

Nah. Regardless of the amount of partisanship and asshattery in other threads by both sides I don't think anybody here bears that much ill will.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

yikes!

I'm getting a bit more nervous as the time approaches. I'm 35 and this is the first surgery/incision that I've ever had (what a way to begin). Only issue previously was getting 4 stiches for a cut.

[DaddyTorgo]

I'm getting a bit more nervous as the time approaches. I'm 35 and this is the first surgery/incision that I've ever had (what a way to begin). Only issue previously was getting 4 stiches for a cut.

really? damn.

you'll be fine. the surgeon does how many of these a year? it's pretty routine at this point (although it is your junk, so it's totally understandable that you're nervous).

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

really? damn.

you'll be fine. the surgeon does how many of these a year? it's pretty routine at this point (although it is your junk, so it's totally understandable that you're nervous).

My father-in-law is a doctor at the hospital and has been friends for years with the guy doing my procedure. He said "he's good" and "he really knows what he's doing". Considering what we're dealing with here, I'm not sure how to take those comments.

[MacroGuru]

My father-in-law is a doctor at the hospital and has been friends for years with the guy doing my procedure. He said "he's good" and "he really knows what he's doing". Considering what we're dealing with here, I'm not sure how to take those comments.

He is saying the guy knows how to castrate a calf and keep your head up!


...You will be ok...my doc gave me a valium to take before the surgery so I went in just fine and not nervous.

[Kodos]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VZhSkREYBc

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

He is saying the guy knows how to castrate a calf and keep your head up!

Ugh, did you have to say a calf? My thoughts immediately flashed to a Bizarre Foods episode where they were castrating the calves. Let's just say the calves didn't have the benefit of a Valium or a small snip.

But in line with the title of the show, they did make a meal out of it all.

[CraigSca]

It's really no big deal, except when you ask them if they're done and they tell you that they're just finishing up the first one. That's brutal.

[Drake]

Did I mention that when I got mine done, the doc forgot to give me the second shot (topical anesthetic - supposed to be a shot on each side) before cutting into my bag?

Yeah, it hurt.

I did one of those hissing intakes of breath and the doc knew immediately what he'd done. He was like. "Wow. Sorry about that. Haven't done that in years."

He spent the whole procedure talking to me about his daughter who had just started playing tennis at the university where I work. It's weird having a guy talking to you about his daughter while he's cutting into your sack with a scalpel. Very instructional. I decided that if I ever had daughters of dating age, I'd do the same thing with their boyfriends. Keep their minds focused on important stuff, if you know what I mean.

Er, I probably should have saved that story for tomorrow.

[boberot]

You'll be good. With the proper anesthetics applied, there really isn't a lot of pain. The worst part in my opinion might be the really cold iodine kind of stuff they apply -- and then realizing that the medical team is staring at your shrunken goods.

[Subby]

Valium?

You sir, are an enormous pussy.

[CraigSca]

Valium?

You sir, are an enormous pussy.

/agree

[boberot]

Oh, it's worth mentioning:

The doc who did mine was a friend of the family and a bit of a jokester. As I'm laying on the table, knowing it's "game on" any minute, he approaches from the far side of the room and asks in a very calm, reassuring voice, "OK, are you ready?"

As I nod "yes," I look down and realize he's holding a bolt cutter that's about two feet long. There apparently was a half-second of horror on my face before I realized he was joking. Everyone laughed, including me, and I was in a much better place to have him slice into my ball bag.

[path12]

Be sure and savor the smell of the cauterizing! Mmmmmmm......burnt vascules.

[Pumpy Tudors]

*whimper*

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

The day of judgment has arrived. I don't want to catch any of you fools giggling, you hear me?!?!?!

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

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[Butter]

Did I mention that when I got mine done, the doc forgot to give me the second shot (topical anesthetic - supposed to be a shot on each side) before cutting into my bag?

Yeah, it hurt.

Yeah, I almost got that myself. I was able to stop him before he actually cut anything though.

[MacroGuru]

Valium?

You sir, are an enormous pussy.

It's SOP for this...keeps the nerves down...avoids any inappropiate flinches from you when you feel the tugging.

[CraigSca]

Interesting. Think I could get one retroactively then?

[SackAttack]

The day of judgment has arrived. I don't want to catch any of you fools giggling, you hear me?!?!?!

If you have any male pets, I'm certain they're laughing their heads off right now. :p

[JediKooter]

SackAttack has the best screen name for this thread.

[path12]

It's SOP for this...keeps the nerves down...avoids any inappropiate flinches from you when you feel the tugging.

Hmm. I don't remember any Valium. DAMMIT!

[SackAttack]

SackAttack has the best screen name for this thread.

Which is why I had largely stayed out of it. But...I couldn't resist that one. :D

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Well, I survived. Honestly, going to a doctor who had done roughly 3,000 of them before was a fantastic idea. Other than the initial needle to inject the anesthetic, didn't feel a thing. I'm sore today in the area above, but it's a dull pain and I was still able to take a shower and walk around a bit. The worry before the procedure was far worse than the procedure and the aftermath.

[RedKingGold]

Dude, your balls must HATE you.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Dude, your balls must HATE you.

You know, they don't actually hurt at all. It's the area above where the cutting took place that's sore.

[Drake]

Glad to hear it went well for you.

[Drake]

dola...

The good news is that if you ever have to take a dog to get it fixed any time in the future, when it whimpers at you, you can legitimately tell him to man the fuck up.

[Jughead Spock]

shhhhh, they don't know yet

[path12]

MBBF, welcome to the club. You are now completely qualified to try and freak the hell out of anyone getting one in the future. Congrats!

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

We went into the procedure and my wife (a radiologist) went over and watched the whole thing. That would be way too much for me, but she saw me as a science project evidently.

Still sore today. But my 'area' is black and blue today. It's UGLY. Still isn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.

[RainMaker]

Valium?

You sir, are an enormous pussy.
You must not have had valium before. If you don't need it to relax, just take it for recreation.

[Drake]

Still sore today. But my 'area' is black and blue today. It's UGLY. Still isn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.

Just wait until the incision/stitches start scabbing over. That looks brutal.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Just wait until the incision/stitches start scabbing over. That looks brutal.

Mine were no more than a quarter inch long. Could barely see them. I think that likely has something to do with the skills of my doctor.

[Dr. Sak]

Mine is no more than a quarter inch long. Could barely see them.

That's what she said.

[Lathum]

Everytime I see that Dr. Sak had the last post in this thread I giggle.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Well, an unfortunate update. About four days after my vasectomy, I started having some pain and swelling in places other than the place you'd prefer to swell. Went to the doctor today after a few days of it not getting better. Turns out I have a blood collection about an inch by 1 1/2 inches behind one of my 'boys'. It will be absorbed by my body after a month. Until then, I have a month-long prescription for extra-strength Vicodin to manage the pain. I've never taken this stuff, but it's awfully powerful. No pain anymore, but I'm going to have to time taking it after my morning commute and when I get home from work to avoid any driving issues.

[Lathum]

That sound horrible. Sorry to hear.

[terpkristin]

Until then, I have a month-long prescription for extra-strength Vicodin to manage the pain. I've never taken this stuff, but it's awfully powerful. No pain anymore, but I'm going to have to time taking it after my morning commute and when I get home from work to avoid any driving issues.

I don't know how strong the Vicodin is, but you'll want to be careful to wean off of it when that month is up. I ended up being on narcotics for pain after cracking a rib while on crutches recovering from one of my ankle surgeries, and spent about 6 weeks on the narcotics. As soon as I could walk again, I stopped taking the narcotics cold-turkey (like flipping a light switch) and then went through some MISERABLE withdrawal. Headaches, chills, feeling like I had the flu, pain EVERYWHERE.... just miserable.

/tk

[SackAttack]

Well, an unfortunate update. About four days after my vasectomy, I started having some pain and swelling in places other than the place you'd prefer to swell. Went to the doctor today after a few days of it not getting better. Turns out I have a blood collection about an inch by 1 1/2 inches behind one of my 'boys'. It will be absorbed by my body after a month. Until then, I have a month-long prescription for extra-strength Vicodin to manage the pain. I've never taken this stuff, but it's awfully powerful. No pain anymore, but I'm going to have to time taking it after my morning commute and when I get home from work to avoid any driving issues.

I don't know how strong the Vicodin is, but you'll want to be careful to wean off of it when that month is up. I ended up being on narcotics for pain after cracking a rib while on crutches recovering from one of my ankle surgeries, and spent about 6 weeks on the narcotics. As soon as I could walk again, I stopped taking the narcotics cold-turkey (like flipping a light switch) and then went through some MISERABLE withdrawal. Headaches, chills, feeling like I had the flu, pain EVERYWHERE.... just miserable.

/tk

What she said. The really powerful stuff is, well...really powerful, but along with that comes dependency issues if you aren't careful.

[johnnyshaka]

Sorry to hear you are having complications...not fun!

We're getting ready to put our house on the market in the next week or two and now that my wife is utterly useless (she had breast reduction surgery two weeks ago and is not to lift anything more than 10 pounds for at least 8 weeks) in the box moving department, plans my "big V" surgery have been put on hold.

The gruesome stories I've heard recently from a few buddies have nothing to do with the delay...I swear.

[Samdari]

Damn, this should be the time of limitless sex, instead its the time of incredible ball pain. That's as big a drop as you can get. Sorry, dude.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

What she said. The really powerful stuff is, well...really powerful, but along with that comes dependency issues if you aren't careful.

Yeah, I'm a regular viewer of Intervention, so I have a pretty good idea to be careful with the stuff. I've got a family full of doctors to keep me on the straight and narrow. I think I'll be taking it full bore for a couple weeks and then taking smaller doses after that just to slow my intake down. I'm not sure I've ever taken anything nearly this strong before. It helps with the pain, but it's somewhat frightening.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Update time.

I started weaning myself off Vicodin today. Going to take half doses for 7-10 days to slow down the system a bit before cutting off sometime next weekend.

***stop here if you're faint of heart (but you know you want to keep reading)***

I had something happen the other day that helped with my pain. The reduction in swelling along with a random movement I made caused something to 'pop'. Pretty sure part of my plumbing was hooked over something and it finally went back into place, greatly reducing the pain. I'm thanking my lucky stars right now that it happened, because it feel a LOT better.

Still have a large blood collection in there, but Doc says it will go away in a month or so.

[Swaggs]

I just threw up a little.

Glad things are feeling better, though.

[CraigSca]

Geez. Glad things are going better for you now, but I have to admit I'm glad I got my vasectomy a few years before I read this thread.

[Autumn]

Well, my time is coming. Going in for a physical today and to set up an appointment for the deed. Wish me luck.

[JediKooter]

Think of the children!

[Autumn]

Think of the children!

I am, oh I am. Why do you think I'm going?

[JediKooter]

I am, oh I am. Why do you think I'm going?

Haha!

[johnnyshaka]

Well, my time is coming. Going in for a physical today and to set up an appointment for the deed. Wish me luck.

Ditto...just got back from my physical and requested a referral for the snip snip. Also had to ask about testing for colon cancer as one of my aunts was just diagnosed a few months ago...looks like I'll be getting worked over down "there" quite a bit in the next little while.

[Autumn]

Oh man, I guess I can't really complain. Well, actually I'll still complain, but you can complain more.

[johnnyshaka]

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to "one up" you or anything like that, but if my wife thinks I'm a baby now then she's in for a MAJOR surprise when all this business starts going down!!!

[Ksyrup]

So I'm considering a doctor visit and finally geting the procedure done. I'm only $250 away from my deductible (well there's another $2K deductible, but it only kicks in at 10% until the full $2K is met), and because we switched insurance and are trying to synch up our contract year with our deductible year (have both start on 4/01 instead of 4/01 and 1/01), I've got an extra 3 months in 2011 for my 2010 deductible to apply. So the procedure will be very cheap. If not painless.

Any further thoughts on this? Johnnyshaka, autumn - how did yours go?

[Autumn]

Thanks for bumping this, I've been meaning to post. I was supposed to have mine today, actually. But a couple days ago I realized I had some Advil this past weekend, which you're not supposed to have for like 7 days before the procedure. So they had to reschedule me. It was rather a relief I have to admit, only partly because of the procedure, but partly because I'm super busy and was worried about the recuperation time.

Ironically I took the Advil because I was with the kids for a two hour car ride and they gave me such a killer headache. So I'll definitely be continuing down this path.

[Autumn]

I should mention, the procedure as the urologist described it seemed pretty simple. But I"m a little wary because in his rather thorough "examination" I felt like Andre the Giant was handling me. The man's not exactly gentle. Bad sign?

[Ksyrup]

Ha!

Yeah, I don't like the time off thing. Never a good time. During the holidays I might be the only one in the office, so that's not a good time. I''ll have to see what works.

[Autumn]

Well, the deed is done. The after effects have been really minimal, though I've been careful about laying down most of the time with ice. The procedure itself hurt more than I expected - that lidocaine or whatever they use burns like a mfer going in. And he was like clamping my ball in place or something. Guy's a bruiser. But I've been quite comfortable after, so I can't complain. He showed me the vas deferens he took out afterwards. Much bigger than I expected, like a piece of spaghetti.

[Ksyrup]

Funny, I literally just got off the phone setting up an appointment for Friday afternoon to see a urologist.

[johnnyshaka]

Funny, I literally just got off the phone setting up an appointment for Friday afternoon to see a urologist.

I will be meeting my urologist on Monday. Ugh.

To get ready for that I thought I'd get a filling re-done this afternoon...you know, see if I can get accustomed to the "little pinch" feeling before the "big pinch" in a few weeks.

[Ksyrup]

So I'm all set for January 14th. That's a Friday, and the following Monday is MLK Day, so hopefully that gives me plenty of time to recover with minimal time out of office.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

So I'm all set for January 14th. That's a Friday, and the following Monday is MLK Day, so hopefully that gives me plenty of time to recover with minimal time out of office.

You might be a tad sore on Tuesday, but should be minimal.

[Ksyrup]

I think I'm more concerned with how to explain this to the kids than the actual procedure.

[Autumn]

I think I'm more concerned with how to explain this to the kids than the actual procedure.

That was exactly my biggest thing, too. With my kids (7 and 4) there's no getting around them noticing what's going on. So we've had a lot of discussions of scrotums in the house (scrotii?).

I was half expecting to have to therefore explain the mechanics of reproduction to the 7 year old and trying to plan on how to do that without the four year old hearing it all - he's definitely in the "say something in the most embarrassing situation" phase. But although I went ahead and explained about sperm and the vas deferens to them both, and that sperm are necessary for making kids, no body asked the next question. It's about time to explain it to my older boy anyway, but it's easier to be able to do that with him alone, not in the waiting room at the clinic.

[Autumn]

My experience has been pretty good. It's been a week now and I'm still a bit uncomfortable, but never had any real pain. I've had to take it easy all week, if I stand too long I get sore, and I have to take breaks at times and lay down. I work at home so that's been easy luckily. If I Had to work out I think some advil would have done the trick though.

[johnnyshaka]

I'm booked for Feb. 11th...it's going to be a quiet Valentine's Day at my house...one filled with action flicks and the PS3!!!

[Ksyrup]

You should be right on target for March 14th, though...

[johnnyshaka]

You should be right on target for March 14th, though...

I have the day circled on the calendar already!!

[Ksyrup]

So I go in on Friday morning.

Last chance to relate any horror stories that make me wanna cancel...

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

So I go in on Friday morning.

Last chance to relate any horror stories that make me wanna cancel...

I had complications and would still do it again. Shooting with blanks is a beautiful thing.

[johnnyshaka]

Actually, I wonder what the "cancellation" rate would be for a procedure like this?

[tyketime]

So I go in on Friday morning.

Last chance to relate any horror stories that make me wanna cancel...

Make sure you mark it correctly. You wouldn't want them to snip off the wrong part.

[Ksyrup]

Right on cue, one of our paralegals sent me this article:


Trial in penis amputation case is postponed

<!-- /#content-header --><SUP>-</SUP> (http://javascript<b></b>:;)New date to be set at hearing Wednesday
By Lisa King

Monday, January 10, 2011 at 11:32 am (Updated: January 12, 8:16 am)


A jury trial involving the case of a Shelby County man who says his penis was amputated without his consent has been postponed.

Circuit Judge Charles Hickman said that the trial would be rescheduled because of concern that an article in Friday’s Sentinel-News would influence the jury pool.

“The article’s detailed events of the case would have made it difficult to seat a jury,” he said.

Waddy resident Phillip Seaton filed suit in 2008 against surgeon John Patterson, saying the doctor had amputated his penis during a routine circumcision a year earlier.

He also sued Jewish Hospital Shelbyville, where the surgery was performed, and the anesthesiologist, Dr. Oliver James, but JHS and James have settled with Seaton.

Jury selection was to have begun Monday, but a story about the settlements and reviewing details of the trial caused Hickman to delay its start.

Neither attorney returned repeated phone calls from The Sentinel-News, but Hickman said the matter has been put on the docket for next Wednesday so that a new date can be set.

Hickman said next week was chosen because a new jury pool will be in place, which happens every six months.

“We seat a new jury every six months; we do it in January and July,” he said.

Hickman said he did not know when the new trial date would be, and that it could be set for weeks or even months from now.

“I can not speculate on that,” he said. “We will make that determination next Wednesday.”

Seaton and his wife, Deborah, declined to comment.


The story is - dude went in for a circumcision and the Dr. found cancer, so instead of finishing the procedure and telling the guy what he found and discussing his options, he just went ahead and amputated. When the guy woke up from his circumcision, he had no penis.

I wish I could have gotten that case (the legal case, not the medical one!).

[Ksyrup]

So, it's all over. Interesting, strange experience. So far, just a slight bit of discomfort on the left side, like someone missed to the left on a kick to the nuts. Haven't even had to use my pain meds yet. Had two or three fairly hot nurses helping out. That was a bit much. I guess to break the ice, doc asked if I'd ever had my scrotum shaved while two women looked on. I told him not since my last trip to Amsterdam.

Only real pain during the procedure was for the local - and that wasn't really that bad as much as it hurt thinking about where it was being done - and during the cauderizing. He accidentally hit me a bit too much the first time he fired it up and it gave my entire body a jolt.

So I guess I get to sit around all weekend watching or playing football. Hopefully the pain stays away.

[johnnyshaka]

It's go time...ugh.

[johnnyshaka]

dola, that was fun. ugh.

I've been bagged before...or at least I thought I had. Yikes.

[JediKooter]

dola, that was fun. ugh.

I've been bagged before...or at least I thought I had. Yikes.

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7Oz0n8N2LL0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

You've had this done twice??

[johnnyshaka]

You've had this done twice??

Oh, God, no.

I meant that I've been told that it would feel like being bagged but, having been bagged playing sports and by my kids (by accident...I hope), it feels like that times 10!!

It does feel better today but still pretty sore.

[Sgran]

I've been preparing for this for a while. Thanks to all the eunuchs for sharing. Question: did you have to answer a battery of psychological questions beforehand? Did they try to talk you down from the ledge?

[johnnyshaka]

I've been preparing for this for a while. Thanks to all the eunuchs for sharing. Question: did you have to answer a battery of psychological questions beforehand? Did they try to talk you down from the ledge?

Nope.

My family doctor made sure my wife was in agreement with my decision as did the specialist who did the very, very bad thing to my junk. That was about it.

[Autumn]

My doctor did a rather half hearted section of questions, like was I having marriage problems and things. He didn't seem too interested in hearing answers.

[Ksyrup]

Mine asked how many kids we had and if my wife was on board. She wasn't even there, so I could have lied and it wouldn't have matter.

Mine went really well. Never had to use the pain meds and was pretty much back to normal within 2 weeks.

[Shaun Sullivan]

I've been preparing for this for a while. Thanks to all the eunuchs for sharing. Question: did you have to answer a battery of psychological questions beforehand? Did they try to talk you down from the ledge?

Having gotten mine after our 4th child, the only question I got was "Is Thursday good for you Mr. Sullivan?" :)

[JediKooter]

Oh, God, no.

I meant that I've been told that it would feel like being bagged but, having been bagged playing sports and by my kids (by accident...I hope), it feels like that times 10!!

It does feel better today but still pretty sore.

Oh whew!! I was about to say, after the first one, I would have told the doctor, "I'll call you later" like you do to that chick that you just went with but never want to see again.

[JeeberD]

I can't believe that the most recent vasectomy thread is over 4 years old...

I got snipped this past Thursday. The procedure itself went fine, some minor pain a couple of times but nothing serious. I took Thursday and Friday off so I could recover before having to deal with the kiddos over the weekend. Saturday morning I woke up with my boys really aching...44 hours with a jock strap on and they weren't happy. I took it off, put on some loose underwear, and iced the boys as much as I could that day. I woke up feeling pretty good on Sunday and the day went fine.

Monday - Memorial Day - I was still feeling good, but after I showered I didn't have any clean loose underwear, so I put on some tighty whities. We also had family over and I grilled and roughhoused with the kids, and by the end of the day my boys were really unhappy again. I've worn loose underwear yesterday and today, and tried to ice them down last night, but they're still pretty tender.

From what I've read, most people feel pretty normal after a couple of day. I'm hoping this tenderness will go away in the next day or two, but I don't know if it's normal or not to still not be back at 100%. I would rather not call the doctor and get examined again if I don't have to...it's a very busy week at work.

How long did it take you survivors to get back to 100%?

[Bobble]

How long did it take you survivors to get back to 100%?

I felt OK within a day or two. Pretty good within a week and 100% within 2 weeks, IIRC.

[Butter]

I felt OK within a day or two. Pretty good within a week and 100% within 2 weeks, IIRC.

Same.

[MrBug708]

You didn't ask for the Varys special, did you?

[JeeberD]

I felt OK within a day or two. Pretty good within a week and 100% within 2 weeks, IIRC.

Same.

Thanks, fellas. That makes me feel a little better.

You didn't ask for the Varys special, did you?

No. Don't even joke about that.

[Mota]

I got mine done on APril Fool's Day this year. That in itself may have been a bad idea. Overall the surgery went better than I imagined it would, but the recover was much worse than I anticipated. After a week I was still getting weeping and redness. It still looked like an open wound. My friends were all telling me that they were fine by then. After two weeks it hadn't gotten worse, but didn't get that much better. It was almost 3 full weeks before the incision spot had healied over. I even went to my family doctor and he prescribed a topical anti-infection cream to help it along, it was really within about 3 days of taking this that I had a marked improvement.

[SackAttack]

There is none chance I'm ever having this done no matter what happens with my relationship life. To those of you getting it done, y'know, mazel tov. To each their own. but I won't deny I'm privately laughing at you for doing a thing like this deliberately.

eyeballs and nutballs are basically the two places i can't even countenance permitting cutting implements so i really don't understand why anybody would

[Suicane75]

I can't believe that the most recent vasectomy thread is over 4 years old...

I had to read this 3 times to figure out when you were talking about your testicles and when you were talking about your children.

[Butter]

eyeballs and nutballs are basically the two places i can't even countenance permitting cutting implements so i really don't understand why anybody would

Then I can only assume that you like one or more of the following:

1. paying for birth control for the rest of your SO's natural child birth years (which could last into their 50's)

OR

2. Having protected sex with your SO for the rest of your SO's natural child birth years

OR

3. You don't have an SO to worry about this with

OR EVEN MAYBE

4. You like playing baby roulette every month.

I'm laughing at you privately for any of these, so it's all good. Maybe I missed one reason in there that I couldn't think of.

[stevew]

Luckily she had her tubes tied after her second C section. I couldn't imagine having this done.

[Bobble]

There is none chance I'm ever having this done no matter what happens with my relationship life. To those of you getting it done, y'know, mazel tov. To each their own. but I won't deny I'm privately laughing at you for doing a thing like this deliberately.

eyeballs and nutballs are basically the two places i can't even countenance permitting cutting implements so i really don't understand why anybody would

Turn in your username. You can't post using the handle "SackAttack" and be squeamish about balls. I suggest something like "FondleGently" or "WearsCupDaily", maybe "QueazNuts", how about "DanglerWrangler"?

[Grover]

Turn in your username. You can't post using the handle "SackAttack" and be squeamish about balls. I suggest something like "FondleGently" or "WearsCupDaily", maybe "QueazNuts", how about "DanglerWrangler"?

I vote for DanglerWrangler

[Butter]

Luckily she had her tubes tied after her second C section. I couldn't imagine having this done.

That's the one.

I guess we missed that opportunity because we thought about having a 3rd child for a while, but then decided against it. Not having your tubes tied pretty much in conjunction with a birth makes that quite a bit harder than the vasectomy.

[Grover]

My girlfriend and I have decided we never want to have kids.

I am weighing up the option to get snipped. I'd rather almost buy condoms for the rest of my life.

[JeeberD]

Luckily she had her tubes tied after her second C section. I couldn't imagine having this done.

That was offered to us, but we weren't ready to close the door yet. Two years later we were...

[Julio Riddols]

I have resolved to remain full featured for life.

[SackAttack]

Then I can only assume that you like one or more of the following:

1. paying for birth control for the rest of your SO's natural child birth years (which could last into their 50's)

OR

2. Having protected sex with your SO for the rest of your SO's natural child birth years

OR

3. You don't have an SO to worry about this with

OR EVEN MAYBE

4. You like playing baby roulette every month.

I'm laughing at you privately for any of these, so it's all good. Maybe I missed one reason in there that I couldn't think of.

There's some truth to 3. but the starker reality is:

5. the odds that, by the time I'm in a serious relationship, the object of my affections is still significantly fertile are not great. I'm 34 and I've had a second date with a girl twice in the last 7 years. So, y'know. If and when the day again comes that I'm in a serious relationship, it's probably not gonna be with a sweet young thing.

Turn in your username. You can't post using the handle "SackAttack" and be squeamish about balls. I suggest something like "FondleGently" or "WearsCupDaily", maybe "QueazNuts", how about "DanglerWrangler"?

As originally conceived (see what I did there?) the handle "SackAttack" was not about nutball tragedy, but rather about quarterback trauma.

I vote for DanglerWrangler

That does have a ring to it, however.

[stevew]

That was offered to us, but we weren't ready to close the door yet. Two years later we were...

And now you're paying the iron price for not being decisive.

;)

[stevew]

Dola baby roulette is the worst

[CU Tiger]

Then I can only assume that you like one or more of the following:

1. paying for birth control for the rest of your SO's natural child birth years (which could last into their 50's)

OR

2. Having protected sex with your SO for the rest of your SO's natural child birth years

OR

3. You don't have an SO to worry about this with

OR EVEN MAYBE

4. You like playing baby roulette every month.

I'm laughing at you privately for any of these, so it's all good. Maybe I missed one reason in there that I couldn't think of.

5. She had a tubal. She is done, I am undecided. :D

[JeeberD]

Dola baby roulette is the worst

Yeah...we had a scare a couple of months ago which really sealed the deal for us. We were *pretty* sure we didn't want any more kids before that, but when my wife reached six days late we were both certain that we didn't want any more.

[Subby]

Fritz told me to just masturbate every day until I didn't see blood.

[Autumn]

There's some truth to 3. but the starker reality is:

5. the odds that, by the time I'm in a serious relationship, the object of my affections is still significantly fertile are not great. I'm 34 and I've had a second date with a girl twice in the last 7 years. So, y'know. If and when the day again comes that I'm in a serious relationship, it's probably not gonna be with a sweet young thing.

FWIW, I think that's a big mistake, not worrying about fertility due to that. I do transcription for health research and I just finished typing up a whole bevy of 40+ ladies who had surprise pregnancies, not to mention my sister and neighbor and other friends who had the same thing happen after years of nothing. Having a kid at the age of 40 or whatever, because you just assumed it wouldn't happen, is a pretty big chance to take. No reason to get a vasectomy, but certainly reason to wrap it up.

[Autumn]

My girlfriend and I have decided we never want to have kids.

I am weighing up the option to get snipped. I'd rather almost buy condoms for the rest of my life.

It seems like an IUD would be a better solution there. It's the most effective form, can last over ten years at a go, and allows you the chance to change your minds.

[Autumn]

That's the one.

I guess we missed that opportunity because we thought about having a 3rd child for a while, but then decided against it. Not having your tubes tied pretty much in conjunction with a birth makes that quite a bit harder than the vasectomy.

Yeah this is a case where we've got to man up and realize it's crazy to make a woman have some serious internal surgery to avoid having our balls slightly altered.

[Mota]

Although my healing experience wasn't the best, now that things are done, I can vouch that everything works exactly the same (other than not having any additional pregnancy scares). No regrets at all.

[CU Tiger]

Yeah this is a case where we've got to man up and realize it's crazy to make a woman have some serious internal surgery to avoid having our balls slightly altered.


Dude...I'm not even going there.

[SackAttack]

FWIW, I think that's a big mistake, not worrying about fertility due to that. I do transcription for health research and I just finished typing up a whole bevy of 40+ ladies who had surprise pregnancies, not to mention my sister and neighbor and other friends who had the same thing happen after years of nothing. Having a kid at the age of 40 or whatever, because you just assumed it wouldn't happen, is a pretty big chance to take. No reason to get a vasectomy, but certainly reason to wrap it up.

I have no objection to taking precautions! An aversion to nutball tragedy is not an unwillingness to protect a prospective partner from unwanted rugrats. But that's a two-way street. I'll wrap it, she can do her thing on birth control, and we go from there. But it will be a cold day in hell before I submit to medically-sponsored torture.

[panerd]

So as some of you may know from the parent's anonymous thread the wife and I had a surprise of twins for our 2nd and 3rd kids last year. (We were trying for one just not two) Anyways it seems right now with me being 40 and our finances that 3 is the max but I was wondering for you guys that made the snip decision was there any doubt in your minds? My wife is younger and I didn't want to say never if she decides she wanted a daughter. Right now we both are thinking we are done but a vasectomy seems very final and absolute.

Also on a slightly different line of thought we have maxed out our family insurance this year including out of pocket so it would be "free". What does a vasectomy run for a high-deductible insurance plan? (I have insurance discounts but pay everything out of pocket)

[Autumn]

I lined up for mine once we felt very sure we weren't going to have anymore. I think any doubt beyond that was erased by the fact that we had always discussed adopting if we wanted more than two, so I think we were okay with that being our emergency "damn I want another" plan. I think if we weren't thinking of that, maybe we would have done an IUD instead.

[Fritz]

Fritz told me to just masturbate every day until I didn't see blood.

No, I said Vasectomies are for pussies.

[SegRat]

I'm happy I had mine done. Had it checked about a year after the procedure and I had 0 swimmers. However my boss who is 51 just found out his wife is pregnant. He said he had it done but it must not have worked. I'd be willing to let them cut me once a year to insure I wouldn't have anymore kids. I do think I need to make sure I still have no swimmers.

[cartman]

No, I said Vasectomies are for pussies.

and hysterectomies are for dicks

[PilotMan]

I'm in line for mine some time next year. I'm not sure how I missed this thread the first time, it's got some brilliance in it. I can't say I'm really looking forward to it, but I've said for a long time that I'd do it, just say the word. So I guess it's that time. I appreciate everyone's experiences. The idea that I'd get clipped then father a child after that is a nightmare scenario.

[Mota]

Okay if you go back around April you might read about the pain, or the slow recovery time I had. But 6 months later?

Best. Time. Ever.

[PilotMan]

Just got back from my consult and now I have an appointment scheduled about a month away. I know from everyone here and from guys I've talked to that it's worse before than after, but still. I'm trying to decide between taking the Valium that they are offering before or not. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

[CraigSca]

Pfft. Local anesthetic only for me (of course, I wasn't offered anything like a valium, either). Still, it's like going to get a cavity filled or a tooth pulled (local anesthetic that hurts at first, then they go in and cut your pipes).

[albionmoonlight]

Just got back from my consult and now I have an appointment scheduled about a month away. I know from everyone here and from guys I've talked to that it's worse before than after, but still. I'm trying to decide between taking the Valium that they are offering before or not. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

For me, the procedure itself was uncomfortable, but nothing that rose to the level of wishing I had heavy duty pain pills or valium. Post-surgery, Tylenol and rest were enough.

Good luck.

[Butter]

For me, the procedure itself was uncomfortable, but nothing that rose to the level of wishing I had heavy duty pain pills or valium. Post-surgery, Tylenol and rest were enough.

Good luck.

Yup. But I wasn't super-nervous about it or anything. If you are really freaked out about such a procedure, you may want to consider something.

[PilotMan]

Not super freaked out, just a little disconcerted, which should be normal for the procedure. Then again, if they're offering Valium, why not take it?

[Bobble]

Then again, if they're offering Valium, why not take it?

This. I don't remember if I had Valium or not. I think so but why not be as relaxed as you can be while someone is going at your balls with sharp instruments?

[SegRat]

For me, the procedure itself was uncomfortable, but nothing that rose to the level of wishing I had heavy duty pain pills or valium. Post-surgery, Tylenol and rest were enough.

Good luck.

I agree

[Mota]

They put some stuff on your junk to put it to sleep before the numbing needles. You really shouldn't feel any pain at all to be honest. Just "uncomfortable" as Albionmoonlight put it. The sounds of the clippers was the worst thing for me. To be honest, I was talking to the nurse about good TV shows while the doctor was doing the procedure.

[Icy]

I had it done 2 years ago. We have two boys already and as some of you might remember as I wrote about it here when it happened, my first daughter die a week after she was born and we never knew the cause at 100%, it could have been some genetic issue even when we were tested and nothing ever came out, but every new kid (specially girls) were some kind of a gamble and we had enough, plus my wife can't take the pill, so it was condoms always.

For me as others have said, the surgery was just uncomfortable, except when they pulled from the "cords" to cut and laser burn them up. The left one was painful for a few seconds, like when you get a hit in your balls and the pain feels around the bottom of the stomach. I remember I complained when i felt it and the doctor told me that he pulled a lot to cut a long amount from the tubes to make sure it won't accidentally fix itself in the future as it might happen after surgery in rare cases. I was not specially nervous about it. It also helped that he was also a funny guy joking all the time with me and the nurse helping him, when I complained about the pain, he asked me if a was a Real Madrid (soccer) fan, because the Atletico Madrid ones are not as pussies as Real Madrid ones :D

The post surgery that was just uncomfortable too for the first 24 hours, but Tylenol every 8 hours and an iced pea bag was enough. I was told to stay at home for a few days but I was working at the office in 48 hours (I work with computers so not any physical work).

After a week i tried to run and felt also some pain on every step so I had to stop, but to tell you the true, I was told to wait at least 2 weeks before running again.

After those two weeks I started running again and felt nothing.

Anyway it's not something I remember specially bad and for sure I would to it again. Just avoid fooling yourself that after surgery you will have sex anytime and anywhere with your couple, we all think we will, but it won't happen :)

[CraigSca]

Just avoid fooling yourself that after surgery you will have sex anytime and anywhere with your couple, we all think we will, but it won't happen :)

QFT :)

[PilotMan]

T +4hrs now and I can't say it's a great feeling. Kind of like someone having a tight squeeze on my balls.

The Dr and I had a nice chat about my job and his name being Cox and being a Urologist.

It's not awful. I do remember being in mid-conversation and letting out an "Oh Shit!" as he pulled on the right side. Lol. I'm happy it's over at least.

[PilotMan]

Well it looks like I an the exception to the rule. It's been 10 days now and and I still haven't been back to work. My left buddy has been very swollen and sore. It's about the size of an egg.

I started on antibiotics but I don't think that's the problem. Most of the things that I've read say that in 1-2% of cases you can get a hematoma in the testicle. It's heavy, uncomfortable and it might take months to resolve itself.

I don't seem to have any other symptoms and the pain comes. It's worst when moving around a lot, and getting up or down. I'm still hoping that it'll be resolved when I finish this course of medicine, but I'm not optimistic. I hope I'm right, and that it's nothing more serious either. There really is not timetable on the recovery.

So there you go. Post op isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm not lovin' it.

[CrimsonFox]

You have made me not want to eat peas ever again now.