Oh, Tiger, it was cheaper to keep her

[Arles]

I'll never understand why famous athletes under the age of 30 get married. You can get married and have kids later in your 30s when you're ready to settle down and not owe a mint to your first wife:

Tiger Woods is banned from letting girlfriends near his kids in a divorce deal netting his ex a record $750 million settlement, The Sun reported Wednesday.

The golfer agreed to keep single women away from daughter Sam, three, and son Charlie, one.

He can bring a new flame into their lives only if he marries her. In return, former wife Elin Nordegren ,30, gets the biggest payout ever seen in a celebrity divorce.

But she can never publicly speak out over his alleged flings with socialite Rachel Uchitel, reality star Jaimee Grubbs, porn queen Joslyn James and up to 17 others.

A pal said: "Elin is desperate to protect the children from the womanizing side of their father.

"Tiger's main fear is her telling her story after he's rebuilt his reputation, sending him back to the gutter."

Swedish ex model Nordegren ended up with double the sum she originally sought, after her lawyers proved Woods, 34, was worth much more than the $1billion she thought.

Her friend explained: "Elin's legal team have done a great job digging up all sorts of assets.

"The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life -- even if Tiger dies first -- or she'll lose the lot."

The friend said: "Everything's signed. Elin is ready to file for divorce at Orlando County Court. She expects to in the next seven days."

Nordegren gets sole physical custody of their kids but they will split legal custody.

That means Woods will share decisions about their future -- so Nordegren will not be able to permanently relocate them to her native Sweden.

Woods -- believed to be building a golf resort in Dubai and investing in the Bahamas -- will be able to see the kids for up to half of each week.

He can renegotiate the custody agreement in five years.

The pal said: "Elin admits that despite everything, Tiger loves his kids and has been a decent dad.

"She is confident he will not pursue seeing the children that much, due to his work and lifestyle."

Under the no-girlfriends deal, only married women not romantically linked to Woods will be allowed around the children -- plus female members of staff known to Nordegren.

FOXNews.com - Elin Nordegren Gets $750M, Custody of Kids in Exchange for Silence in Tiger Woods Divorce (http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/06/30/elin-nordegren-gets-m-custody-kids-exchange-silence-tiger-woods-divorce/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fentertainment+%28Text+-+Entertainment%29)

[cartman]

Hey, Elin, how YOU doin'? Call me, k?

[Sun Tzu]

Bitch is just as crazy as he is, if not more. I see Woods as being a kid who is just playing around. If you come at someone with a golf club, you nuts.

[JediKooter]

I saw her first man.

[bulletsponge]

the title should read "Oh Tiger, it was cheaper to kill her"

this is what happens when you marry a trophy wife and your a complete dog. if you know you cant stay loyal, dont get married

[Mustang]

'The pal said: "Elin admits that despite everything, Tiger loves his kids and has been a decent dad.

"She is confident he will not pursue seeing the children that much, due to his work and lifestyle."


Those 2 statements conflict with each other.

[Ksyrup]

He has been a decent dad while married.

However, she doesn't expect an unattached Tiger with no wife and kids around the house and touring half the year to be able to spend much time with them going forward. So I guess she's betting that he will turn into a not so great dad without the family together.

[molson]

"Under the no-girlfriends deal, only married women not romantically linked to Woods will be allowed around the children -- plus female members of staff known to Nordegren"

OK, I think Tiger can work a loophole there. He can have his kids around married broads that he's banging, as long as there's no "romance".

[stevew]

I can't wait til Tiger Woods grows a Hitler Mustache and dares us to talk about it.

[flere-imsaho]

Wow. Elin's lawyers just gave Tiger the treatment he's been giving his golf opponents for ages.

[JediKooter]

What's the over/under on Elin's early demise under mysterious circumstances?

[Kodos]

Sorry to see this happen to such a nice guy.

[Sun Tzu]

$750M...isn't that like what he makes in one year?

[EagleFan]

Insane ruling.

[molson]

Insane ruling.

It's not a ruling, it's an agreement between the parties.

[Karlifornia]

Why does she deserve that much money? It's just stupid.

[Nogram]

Why does she deserve that much money? It's just stupid.

+1

[jeff061]

I don't think "deserve" has ever mattered in the least.

Accustomed to a certain way of living, professional skill set non-existent due to husband providing for her. Not saying I agree with it, but yeah, what's deserved doesn't figure in.

[jeff061]

Also may not have to do monthly/yearly payments on top of this and she gets the kids. And he's the guy, who did what he did.

So yeah, he's screwed.

[duckman]

Why does she deserve that much money? It's just stupid.
Two words: hush money :popcorn:

[Autumn]

Yeah, really $750 million is well worth it to Tiger, he's still got another $750 million. But keeping her from being able to go public is worth a career to him. She'd have him by the balls for the next decade if she could release a new tidbit of information every few months. This way he knows it will all eventually blow over with new information coming out.

[Greyroofoo]

What could be more damaging that hasn't already been released?

[chadritt]

Im assuming he wanted to make sure she couldnt remind people of how much they disliked him. Imagine if in a few years hes finally winning again and people start to forgive and then suddenly she releases a book talking about how what he did affected her and the kids. This way its gone and he gets to just rebuild his life and never worry about this coming back, at least from her.

[Recoil]

Tiger: you are wrong I'm bone thugs in harmon

Those text messages get me every time.

[Radii]

What could be more damaging that hasn't already been released?

Even if its not new information, hearing it from Elin's perspective, or worse, Elin projecting about its impact on their kids, would be way worse than anything that's come out so far.

[Autumn]

Im assuming he wanted to make sure she couldnt remind people of how much they disliked him. Imagine if in a few years hes finally winning again and people start to forgive and then suddenly she releases a book talking about how what he did affected her and the kids. This way its gone and he gets to just rebuild his life and never worry about this coming back, at least from her.

Exactly. I'm sure she has a detail or two people don't know. But even if she doesn't, her perspective can obtain an interview or a book at will. Rehashing the story in the press is the one thing he doesn't want. Every time that happens people start remembering they dislike him. Once it goes away for a while, people will forget.

[bulletsponge]

i dont understand why anyone liked him in the first place. hes always been a uncharasmatic, boring corporate schill. hes more famous because hes on tv doing commercials than for his golf, and his sponsors and ESPN turn him into a star. ask yourself, if he wasnt selling something on tv every half hour, or wasnt getting pushed on us by ESPN, would anyone other than golf fans have ever tuned in to watch him

[TroyF]

What could be more damaging that hasn't already been released?


Is this a joke?

Let's think about this.

Short of saying Tiger raped the family pet, Elin could say just about anything (true or untrue) and have credibility over Tiger with the general public. She could be a thorn in his side for the next decade.

I'm not a marketing genius by any stretch, but imagine Elin kicking off her book tour with an appearance on Oprah.

Is she deserving of the money? Of course not. But Tiger paid it to her for a reason. We don't need to turn this on her and make her the mean one. He's the one who nailed porn stars and Denny's waitresses rather than coming home to his wife and children. He can deal with the aftermath of those actions.

[DaddyTorgo]

Is this a joke?

Let's think about this.

Short of saying Tiger raped the family pet, Elin could say just about anything (true or untrue) and have credibility over Tiger with the general public. She could be a thorn in his side for the next decade.

I'm not a marketing genius by any stretch, but imagine Elin kicking off her book tour with an appearance on Oprah.

Is she deserving of the money? Of course not. But Tiger paid it to her for a reason. We don't need to turn this on her and make her the mean one. He's the one who nailed porn stars and Denny's waitresses rather than coming home to his wife and children. He can deal with the aftermath of those actions.

Ding ding ding. She's the good guy in this situation. No amount of money could possibly be enough to compensate her IMO. He's a cheating dirtbag and deserves every bit of the pain that he gets.

[EagleFan]

It's not a ruling, it's an agreement between the parties.

Guess I sould have read it.

Insane agreement then. :)

[kingfc22]

So does Elin write a tell-all book and leave it in her will for to be released after Tiger and her die?

I didn't see a clause to ban this action.

[TroyF]

So does Elin write a tell-all book and leave it in her will for to be released after Tiger and her die?

I didn't see a clause to ban this action.


How could they ban that action? Why would she bother though? She's not going to waste her time with that.

[stevew]

Plus we'll mostly all be dead by 2065 and won't be able to talk about that shit on here.

[Bobble]

Tiger: you are wrong I'm bone thugs in harmon

Those text messages get me every time.

You had me at "bone".

[Toddzilla]

This isn't so much about giving her money as it is about taking away money from Tiger.

[flere-imsaho]

Why does she deserve that much money? It's just stupid.

???

Without a pre-nup, most divorces split the assets 50/50. Add in the "hush money" aspect, and it's perfectly rational.

This isn't exactly rocket science, people.

[DaddyTorgo]

Why does she deserve that much money? It's just stupid.

you're just jealous you're not a trophy-spouse.

it's okay...i am too.

[Noop]

Wouldn't have gave her ass a dime. Tiger is an idiot for wanting to get married while he is mega rich. I hope he goes to get a vasectomy and enjoys his bachelor hood the way it was suppose to be enjoyed.

[molson]

Marriage is a business contract. And if you don't like the terms, you can modify them, or not get married.

[Logan]

Wouldn't have gave her ass a dime.

If it were only that easy.

[Noop]

If it were only that easy.

Man I am signing a prenup and I mean one of those absurd unbreakable ones... if they exist. I refuse for a woman to take from me when she hasn't even worked or assisted in making it happen.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Man I am signing a prenup and I mean one of those absurd unbreakable ones... if they exist. I refuse for a woman to take from me when she hasn't even worked or assisted in making it happen.

Her lawyers will carve your little prenup like a knife through warm butter. She'll even end up getting half of ever .gif you've ever posted on here.

[Noop]

Her lawyers will carve your little prenup like a knife through warm butter. She'll even end up getting half of ever .gif you've ever posted on here.

As long as I get to keep my porn collection.

[molson]

Damn Noop, you gotta work on your negotiation skills. You were talked down from "everything" to your porn collection in 2 posts.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Damn Noop, you gotta work on your negotiation skills. You were talked down from "everything" to your porn collection in 2 posts.

Exactly. And divorce law isn't even my area of expertise. Half of the Noop Family Fortune will be in the hands of the Future Ex-Mrs. Noop in no time.

[Noop]

Damn Noop, you gotta work on your negotiation skills. You were talked down from "everything" to your porn collection in 2 posts.

LOL. It sounded funnier in my head.

Exactly. And divorce law isn't even my area of expertise. Half of the Noop Family Fortune will be in the hands of the Future Ex-Mrs. Noop in no time.

I guarantee she won't, if there is no possible way to protect my assets then I won't get married.

[flere-imsaho]

I guarantee she won't, if there is no possible way to protect my assets then I won't get married.

This potentially won't help you either.

Edit: You might be best off just not interacting with women, based on these concerns. :D

[MrBug708]

Noop - Just tell her lawyers that it wasn't a real girl, just a picture you found :)

[DaddyTorgo]

Noop - Just tell her lawyers that it wasn't a real girl, just a picture you found :)


:popcorn:

[duckman]

I guarantee she won't, if there is no possible way to protect my assets then I won't get married.
That worked out great for Clint Eastwood. Ever heard the term palimony?

[jeff061]

I guarantee she won't, if there is no possible way to protect my assets then I won't get married.

Ha, look at you. Acting like the act of marriage is ever a logical one.

[JPhillips]

Wouldn't have gave her ass a dime. Tiger is an idiot for wanting to get married while he is mega rich. I hope he goes to get a vasectomy and enjoys his bachelor hood the way it was suppose to be enjoyed.

And in the end you'll pack up and fly down south,
Hide your head in the sand,
Just another sad old man,
All alone and dying of cancer....

[Sun Tzu]

And in the end you'll pack up and fly down south,
Hide your head in the sand,
Just another sad old man,
All alone and dying of cancer....

Oddly enough I picked up an "Animals" shirt just this past weekend. Definitely one of my favorite albums of all-time.

[TroyF]

Man I am signing a prenup and I mean one of those absurd unbreakable ones... if they exist. I refuse for a woman to take from me when she hasn't even worked or assisted in making it happen.


Here is how it works noop:

You make a decision to stand on the alter and say you'll be faithful in sickness and in health, you and your assets are joined to the women you say it to.

You make the decision to have offspring, you are now in charge of taking care of them as well.

You make those two decisions, then decide to bang anything with a pulse, no prenup in the world will save you. (even if you can somehow save your assest, she's still entitled to alimony and if you're loaded, you will pay dearly) Child support? Good luck getting out of that.

I'll say it again, she's not to blame here. She's not a gold digger as much as she's pissed off. I wish she'd taken him for even more.

[Kodos]

Noop - Just tell her lawyers that it wasn't a real girl, just a picture you found :)

Simply awesome.