Facebook posts so pathetic they belong in this thread!!!

[GoSeahawks]

I love hot sluts!

[Galaxy]

I love hot sluts!

As long as they don't talk.

[Galaxy]

The same person I've been posting statuses (stati?) from has reached the pinnacle of Facebook neediness.

I got an invite to an event from her. Titled "Donation to - My "Humble" Dream Wedding"

Go into the event and read this

So she's unemployed with a 4-year old, wants an expensive wedding (whatever her idea of expensive is), is appealing her SS disability rejection (what's her disability?), but is a hero for rejecting welfare? What does her ever-so lucky future husband do?

[stevew]

Probably collects SSI.

[Suburban Rhythm]

So she's unemployed with a 4-year old, wants an expensive wedding (whatever her idea of expensive is), is appealing her SS disability rejection (what's her disability?), but is a hero for rejecting welfare? What does her ever-so lucky future husband do?

No idea what the future husband does. It's odd because as recent as a few months ago, posts were about needing to be loved, etc. Now she's engaged.

Disability, again no idea.

But yes I do love that she's such a martyr, she's foregoing welfare...but will accept PayPal donations to a wedding.

[Galaxy]

No idea what the future husband does. It's odd because as recent as a few months ago, posts were about needing to be loved, etc. Now she's engaged.

Disability, again no idea.

But yes I do love that she's such a martyr, she's foregoing welfare...but will accept PayPal donations to a wedding.

I would be worried about taking care of my 4-year-old first before any wedding, but that just may be silly talk.

[AnalBumCover]

From the perennial hopeless romantic:

Shout out to the universe. " I am ready for you to bring an incredible Woman into my life" the time is now
Comments:

From a female You deserve a Great Girl!! I hope she shows up soon! :)From a male We gotta get choo a woman

[TheOhioStateUniversity]

"To squash all rumors cause I'm sick of hearing it. IM NOT ON ANY FORM OF STEROIDS! Girls:sorry I'm bigger then your bf. dudes:sorry your not dedicated enough ....I workout 2hours a day 5days a weeks since I was 17 I'm now 25 ....p.s. I'm playing one more year of semi pro football so I'm not big for no reason."

[PilotMan]

"to the end of an era... the russians may have lost the cold war, but slow and steady won the space race, thats for sure"

[MJ4H]

lol wat

[Rizon]

lol wat

This

[Galaxy]

"To squash all rumors cause I'm sick of hearing it. IM NOT ON ANY FORM OF STEROIDS! Girls:sorry I'm bigger then your bf. dudes:sorry your not dedicated enough ....I workout 2hours a day 5days a weeks since I was 17 I'm now 25 ....p.s. I'm playing one more year of semi pro football so I'm not big for no reason."

What?


"to the end of an era... the russians may have lost the cold war, but slow and steady won the space race, thats for sure"





I've read that in the comments section of an article. Sending a space shuttle to space over-and-over for 30 years doesn't mean a "space race".

[Suburban Rhythm]

The same person I've been posting statuses (stati?) from has reached the pinnacle of Facebook neediness.

I got an invite to an event from her. Titled "Donation to - My "Humble" Dream Wedding"

Go into the event and read this

I may have mentioned this in the past, but where I know her from working in a grocery store during HS, so about 17-20 years ago.

She worked in the office, and got fired for skimming $ off the top, when people would turn in their register drawer at the end of the shift.

I want to post to her that, if she had invested the money she took 20 years ago wisely, she'd have enough to pay for her own wedding now.

So she's unemployed with a 4-year old, wants an expensive wedding (whatever her idea of expensive is), is appealing her SS disability rejection (what's her disability?), but is a hero for rejecting welfare? What does her ever-so lucky future husband do?

UPDATE

Stacey XXXXXX went from being "in a relationship" to "single"

I wonder if people who donated to the humble wedding can get refunds?

[GoSeahawks]

why won't he just walk away.................
Then
am not going to back down to him
And
i hope this dose not go on for ever. i want my life back.
am very happy to have such good friends out there and you all know who you are.

All three of these were posted by an aunt of mine (only met her a handful of times). Apparently she is ending a relationship? Marriage maybe? The thing that strikes me odd about this is that my aunt is almost 60. You don't see a lot of facebook drama from the grandmas.

[stevew]

PIT airport yesterday, the COUNTY decided to be GREEN and turn off the A/C at 1130 until 1930 only on airside-on the record setting day/year. 100 degree weather & PIT decides to be green. BUT the offices, security all had air....Amazing how people make such executive decisions like that and get paid for it.

Nut up...

[Galaxy]

"Some people need to get their priorities straight when it comes to their kids and the scum you live with!!!!! You know who you are!!!! tIME TO FINALLY STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND BE A MAN!!!!!!!!"

Someone follows up saying that they need to go to South Beach after the new year for one of their birthdays:

"OUNT ME IN!!!! SOUNDS LIKE JUST WHAT I NEED!!!!"
"OH BY THE WAY WHERE IS SOUTH BEACH??? LOL"

A friend responds:
OMG - get a map (or google!) hint...it's South and near a beach!

She responds:
"In what state"....

(Someone responds with the answer of Florida.)

She closes it out with:
"south beach in feb sound wonderful!!!"

[Autumn]

This is a pet peeve of mine. "You know who you are!" Passive aggressive facebook statuses complaining about someone that you know is going to read it? Great ...

[Galaxy]

This is a pet peeve of mine. "You know who you are!" Passive aggressive facebook statuses complaining about someone that you know is going to read it? Great ...

I think it's even worse when they're older (such as the person in that thread is her 40s/50s).

[Galaxy]

*Dola* She has two kids.

[lungs]

It's great that people love their kids, but are constant Facebook status updates about how your kids are your life and how you couldn't live without them necessary? I mean really, I'm not bashing the person that says something like that here and there. But every fucking day?

[Sun Tzu]

A old buddy of mine who I played football with in H.S.

Question?Why do people act like they .hate or dislike black people so.much.i just dont get it.what we ever do too yall....except build this country for free.so if ur wanna those people.next u wanna hate are say something. About a afro american.just think.who u wanna talk like, who u wanna dress like,who u wanna play ball like.who u wanna rap n sing like.hell yalll even wanna have or hair cuts.am just saying.

[Rizon]

A old buddy of mine who I played football with in H.S.

I did. seriously lol. at this. one. Even. thought I had. no idea. what he was. saying.

[Sun Tzu]

am just saying

[cuervo72]

Question?

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lw3SOvXgAgY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Galaxy]

It's great that people love their kids, but are constant Facebook status updates about how your kids are your life and how you couldn't live without them necessary? I mean really, I'm not bashing the person that says something like that here and there. But every fucking day?

I love the little hour-by-hour updates of their kids.

[stevew]

So how bout when ur at a video store looking at A MOVIE on the shelf and someone ducks down in front of u and says " Excuse me " as they are grabbing the movie YOU WERE LOOKING AT & IT'S THE LAST ONE!

does not compute. It's like this was a post out of 1995.

[sabotai]

Inside jokes are funny when you you get it.
Inside jokes are not so funny when you aren't in on it.
Inside jokes said 20 times a day on facebook for over a week.....I will stab in the face the next time I see you.

(Yeah, we get it. There's some hilariously awesome story between you a few other friends. You don't need to make comments about a few dozens times a day for the rest of your life, nor do you need to, when one of your friends makes a comment about it, respond "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG SO FUNNYY!!!!!!!!" to every single fucking one of them!)

I think 99% of my facebook updates are people saying how great their life is post getting dumped, people making references to funny events with "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!" responses, people bitching about how their life sucks because they were slightly inconvenienced and baby/wedding pictures.

I think I'm about done with Facebook.

[molson]

Inside jokes are funny when you you get it.
Inside jokes are not so funny when you aren't in on it.
Inside jokes said 20 times a day on facebook for over a week.....I will stab in the face the next time I see you.

(Yeah, we get it. There's some hilariously awesome story between you a few other friends. You don't need to make comments about a few dozens times a day for the rest of your life, nor do you need to, when one of your friends makes a comment about it, respond "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG SO FUNNYY!!!!!!!!" to every single fucking one of them!)

I think 99% of my facebook updates are people saying how great their life is post getting dumped, people making references to funny events with "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!" responses, people bitching about how their life sucks because they were slightly inconvenienced and baby/wedding pictures.

I think I'm about done with Facebook.

FOFC used to be kind of like that but I think we've all matured past it or something.

[thesloppy]

Sportsdigg was like that a week ago.

[lighthousekeeper]

Sportsdigg was like that a week ago.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

[Autumn]

jbmagic, amirite??!!

[sabotai]

Kirby Puckett!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[B & B]

Inside jokes are funny when you you get it.
Inside jokes are not so funny when you aren't in on it.
Inside jokes said 20 times a day on facebook for over a week.....I will stab in the face the next time I see you.

(Yeah, we get it. There's some hilariously awesome story between you a few other friends. You don't need to make comments about a few dozens times a day for the rest of your life, nor do you need to, when one of your friends makes a comment about it, respond "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG SO FUNNYY!!!!!!!!" to every single fucking one of them!)

I think 99% of my facebook updates are people saying how great their life is post getting dumped, people making references to funny events with "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!" responses, people bitching about how their life sucks because they were slightly inconvenienced and baby/wedding pictures.

I think I'm about done with Facebook.

Im gonna wait till the fall and sign up for myspace.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Inside jokes are funny when you you get it.
Inside jokes are not so funny when you aren't in on it.
Inside jokes said 20 times a day on facebook for over a week.....I will stab in the face the next time I see you.

(Yeah, we get it. There's some hilariously awesome story between you a few other friends. You don't need to make comments about a few dozens times a day for the rest of your life, nor do you need to, when one of your friends makes a comment about it, respond "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG SO FUNNYY!!!!!!!!" to every single fucking one of them!)

I think 99% of my facebook updates are people saying how great their life is post getting dumped, people making references to funny events with "LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!" responses, people bitching about how their life sucks because they were slightly inconvenienced and baby/wedding pictures.

I think I'm about done with Facebook.

Sounds more like a problem with your friends list than with Facebook.

That a pretty different ratio than my wall gets, even if you leave out:
1) Game related stuff
2) Posts from Pages rather than people

I'd say mine is probably split fairly evenly between: kids/grandkids related pics & stories, random oddball statuses, reasonably funny thoughts/ observations/quotes/jokes, miscellaneous linkage to a wide range of stuff, YouTube links, political stuff, prayer requests, birth/death info, travel pics & stories. Sports is surprisingly underrepresented but then again, it ain't college football season.

Y'know, with the exception of work-related topics that I largely avoid on FB, that sounds an awful lot like a similar split to the topics of conversation I have in real life. Seems like that's how FB ought to work, isn't it?

[stevew]

DIZZY,LITE HEADED'SWETING,FILLED POOL WITH AIR SPRAYED WITH SOAP STILL CANT FIND LEAK ON BOTTEM RING


lol

[stevew]

WHERE IS THE PUDDING?

-lol

[Pumpy Tudors]

I have a cousin who posts some pretty strange stuff on Facebook. I haven't seen her in years, but she found me on Facebook a few weeks ago and sent a friend request. I'm glad she did, because now I get savory goodness like the following:

Gavalston here I come with all my might lawd dat sleep gone wip on me shortly maybe not I'm the ionic robotic short for super woman@LOL

Thank u God for the Power Nap it was well needed.Im great now dam daqurie sound good Dan a MF and I don't feel like moving what u say Dee a blu 2 yep dats my gi

Like my baby say I'm on my way to mal mart I'm like Twitter do I have any followers@kmsl

Happy HBD KEISHA!!! And may God Bless U To C many more. Now that's out the way Fuck U

Dam last night I cracked my phone taking my boys for a ride and then they fell to sleep on me Cingular to help is needed with honors

Did this child say come on momma press the horn cause we bout to go lord he get that from his momma

Wait a minute do this 3yr old have boxers on with no underwear he gone thank me later to young to have baggy nuts (Thanks Mom)

Speak it Three glad some black men still got a head in the right direction and for those who miss the memo trust me,u lost

[tucking fypo]

A friend of mine would always respond "I just did a peepee" when he saw something he considered "way too serious for Facebook" or if someone put song lyrics as their update.

[thesloppy]

Wait a minute do this 3yr old have boxers on with no underwear he gone thank me later to young to have baggy nuts (Thanks Mom)

Hold on, I'm supposed to wear underwear AND boxers. No wonder my nuts are so baggy.

[Passacaglia]

Is this the cousin you wanted to vote for as President? I can see why.

[Ksyrup]

I think I'm about done with Facebook.

I joined FB in 2009, primarily because my 20 year reunion was coming up and it was the easiest way to get info and be connected to all of those people as it was being planned and shortly thereafter. But once that came and went, I found myself rarely posting anything, and only checking updates from my phone occasionally, when I was bored.

The problem with FB, I think, is that for a lot of people, they can't really be themselves because your whole world is inter-connected. Your family, friends, co-workers, high school sweetheart, wife, etc. - they're all seeing everything. It's the "Independent George" factor that has turned me off of FB. I feel much more free to joke around and stuff on a message board, where my identity is somewhat protected and the circle of people I interact with is basically cut-off from the "real world." FB is the real world. And that sucks.

And FB is useless for good information. It's basically everyday people dumping their problems or touting their happy moments in a stream of consciousness. Big deal. I enjoy twitter so much more, even though I've never tweeted, because I choose a bunch of sports, music, and comedy people to follow, and I get real information and entertainment out of it. Twitter has almost entirely replaced the internet as a way of getting sports and music news.

[JonInMiddleGA]

And FB is useless for good information.

Again, that must go back to the composition of friend's lists.

I probably see a useful nugget or two everyday that I would have missed otherwise (and I'm a news junkie where the net is concerned).

[Ksyrup]

I guess. The only real "news" items I see are a few political/ironic posts of news articles dealing with world events I am mostly aware of already (without the personal comment of my "friend') and a few funny news stories. As far as more local "news," there isn't much of that, or at least, not the kind I care about. It's certainly not the place for breaking news I don't already know about. Occasionally by someone's comment I'll hear about something in sports or music I didn't know, but 98% of the time, I already got that info on Twitter.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Hold on, I'm supposed to wear underwear AND boxers. No wonder my nuts are so baggy.
Evidently.
Is this the cousin you wanted to vote for as President? I can see why.
No, but I want to now. She should be old enough by the 2020 election.
I enjoy twitter so much more, even though I've never tweeted, because I choose a bunch of sports, music, and comedy people to follow, and I get real information and entertainment out of it. Twitter has almost entirely replaced the internet as a way of getting sports and music news.
I guess I'm following the wrong people, because I wouldn't say "real information" is anything I get from it. I think I've actually seen more links to pictures of toilets on Twitter than actual useful information... not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I wish I could hire stevew to translate everything my cousin says on Facebook, because I think he's the only person here who's straight gangsta enough to comprehend her.

[JediKooter]

What are saggy nuts? I know you can get nuts in sack. Was it perhaps a typo?

[Ksyrup]

I guess I'm following the wrong people, because I wouldn't say "real information" is anything I get from it. I think I've actually seen more links to pictures of toilets on Twitter than actual useful information... not that there's anything wrong with that.

I follow most of the main baseball and football reporters, some musicians, some comedians, and some random funny characters. And that's it. I don't actually know a single person on my twitter list, and I've never tweeted. I just use it for information and smart-ass or bizarre/funny comments.

[TCY Junkie]

I wish I could hire stevew to translate everything my cousin says on Facebook, because I think he's the only person here who's straight gangsta enough to comprehend her.

Yeah, I don't even understand it

[JonInMiddleGA]

Well this ought to make for a fun clusterfuck if they roll it out completely. Basically your posts/comments in a group that you're a member of is appearing on the walls of everyone on your friends list (whether they're a member of the group or not).

You know you're from Facebook if ... - CNN.com (http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/social.media/08/04/facebook.know.youre.from/)

[Sun Tzu]

"Happy HBD KEISHA!!! And may God Bless U To C many more. Now that's out the way Fuck U"

That's my favorite one. Reminds me of my old middle school that use to sell "OJ Juice" in the cafeteria. I would always ask who this OJ person was, and why we were being offered his juice.

[ColtCrazy]

I'll be sad when this page is full because GoSeahawks "I love hot sluts" post makes me smile every time this page loads.

[ColtCrazy]

Damn...

[mckerney]

I'll be sad when this page is full because GoSeahawks "I love hot sluts" post makes me smile every time this page loads.

ಠ_ಠ

[terpkristin]

I went to high school with this guy and he was a pretty big nerd then. It seems that since high school, he's grown his hair and become a LARPer. He's also very white. He posted a "repost this" today because he liked and wanted to share the extended ASCII art on it. This is what he posted (note the formatting will probably get FUBAR):
╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong black woman ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝



/tk

[JonInMiddleGA]

tk just confused me ... disturbed me a little too

[stevew]

Lol tk

[JediKooter]

tk is black? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[terpkristin]

No. The nerdy white guy I went to high school with posted that....
....because he liked the ASCII work on it.
/tk

[JonInMiddleGA]

No. The nerdy white guy I went to high school with posted that....because he liked the ASCII work on it.
/tk

Dude needs an intervention

[ColtCrazy]

Posted by a young woman I know whose only had one date with her current love interest and has admitted she is over the one she previously dated...

"I may not be talking to you right now but every time my phone goes off I hold my breath hoping your name is there"

I haven't known her to date anyone for more than a month in a long time. So this post just comes across as desperate.

[Julio Riddols]

Posted by a young woman I know whose only had one date with her current love interest and has admitted she is over the one she previously dated...

"I may not be talking to you right now but every time my phone goes off I hold my breath hoping your name is there"

I haven't known her to date anyone for more than a month in a long time. So this post just comes across as desperate.

Someone with a different name should call her phone repeatedly until she passes out.

[Autumn]

Posted by a young woman I know whose only had one date with her current love interest and has admitted she is over the one she previously dated...

"I may not be talking to you right now but every time my phone goes off I hold my breath hoping your name is there"

I haven't known her to date anyone for more than a month in a long time. So this post just comes across as desperate.

My niece's posts are all like that, breathless pleas of love for some doofy high school kid she'll forget about in a month. It's rather painful to have to watch people, in her case, go through adolescence publicly. It just makes me wonder what horribly embarrassing things would I have posted as a teen.

[Simbo Klice]

This was just far too good not to share... I can't remember if I went to high school with this person or something but she is good for about one of these nutcase posts a week. For the record I have no idea who or what she's talking about.

"well how the tables turn....cant wait to see that bitch lose more than she already has....her kids for one, bouta lose her home, aint got her parents no more, treats her brother like shit, as well as everyone that tries to help her n even stole hella pills n diamond bracelets off a 82 yr old woman w parkinsons, and pregnant w her third kid and aint even got her first two...what a mom! what a winner--NOT! JILL M******JUST DO US ALL A FAVOR N KILL URSELF SINCE U WANA KILL THE BABY IN UR WOMB LIKE U TRIED KILLIN THE LAS...T ONE W DRUGS N SHIT N U ABORDIN THIS ONE...CAUSE U KNOW U AINT FIT! n got ur fam thinkin baby jacob juss has health probs no bitch hes addicted to pills, coccaine, methadone, perks, vicodin, xanax, zoloft, morphine and weed bc u wanted to kill him so u aint have to b connected to his daddy no more n u screamin that bobby this n bobby that no bitch u need psychiatric help, u bipolar as fuck, then tellin him u gone fuck jeremy ******, bobby ******, chris *******, and a whole bunch more dudes to piss him off---u cant hurt him no more stupid hoe, go get it in then, get ya pussy blown tha fuck out..n now he layin in icu n where u at??? ur house sittin on ur fat ass, thats love right? bitch u dont even love urself let alone a real ma fucka like him n if u ever say i got genital warts again bitch i will post pics of my pretty lil pink pussy on dis bitch n let ma fuckas see fa theyself if they see any shit like that on my shit, u the one who changes men more than u change ya underwear....comin home three hours late f work, make up fresh n hair sweaty....dont take a rocket scientist to figure out what u was doin...n u aint ever gone get ur babies back actin psycho like u did yesterday puttin ya hands on bobby, i wish the fuck u would hit me....ooh i fuckin wish u woulda.....but come monday ull have a warrant for ur arrest for the assault ....see ladies it aint just ment that can b violent but when a woman strike a man the law more leinient with them cause they female n if i was bobby ida malled ur ass cause if u bold enough to hit a man u better be able ta fight like a man n god gone catch up to u believe that...u done stabbed bobby n got away with that, theres so many witnesses it aint fuckin funny....ur nuts n should either be locked in a nut house n the key thrown away or sum1 need ta beat tha breaks off that ass ....perhaps my dudes f tha D can come down n show u how they do hoes like u....gangbangin since u like ta fuck so much u skank ass stank ass hoe! erry dog has they day n urs comin real quick cause errybody fed up....u burnin all yo bridges n gone b lonely for too long!"

[EagleFan]

This was just far too good not to share... I can't remember if I went to high school with this person or something but she is good for about one of these nutcase posts a week. For the record I have no idea who or what she's talking about.

"well how the tables turn....cant wait to see that bitch lose more than she already has....her kids for one, bouta lose her home, aint got her parents no more, treats her brother like shit, as well as everyone that tries to help her n even stole hella pills n diamond bracelets off a 82 yr old woman w parkinsons, and pregnant w her third kid and aint even got her first two...what a mom! what a winner--NOT! JILL M******JUST DO US ALL A FAVOR N KILL URSELF SINCE U WANA KILL THE BABY IN UR WOMB LIKE U TRIED KILLIN THE LAS...T ONE W DRUGS N SHIT N U ABORDIN THIS ONE...CAUSE U KNOW U AINT FIT! n got ur fam thinkin baby jacob juss has health probs no bitch hes addicted to pills, coccaine, methadone, perks, vicodin, xanax, zoloft, morphine and weed bc u wanted to kill him so u aint have to b connected to his daddy no more n u screamin that bobby this n bobby that no bitch u need psychiatric help, u bipolar as fuck, then tellin him u gone fuck jeremy ******, bobby ******, chris *******, and a whole bunch more dudes to piss him off---u cant hurt him no more stupid hoe, go get it in then, get ya pussy blown tha fuck out..n now he layin in icu n where u at??? ur house sittin on ur fat ass, thats love right? bitch u dont even love urself let alone a real ma fucka like him n if u ever say i got genital warts again bitch i will post pics of my pretty lil pink pussy on dis bitch n let ma fuckas see fa theyself if they see any shit like that on my shit, u the one who changes men more than u change ya underwear....comin home three hours late f work, make up fresh n hair sweaty....dont take a rocket scientist to figure out what u was doin...n u aint ever gone get ur babies back actin psycho like u did yesterday puttin ya hands on bobby, i wish the fuck u would hit me....ooh i fuckin wish u woulda.....but come monday ull have a warrant for ur arrest for the assault ....see ladies it aint just ment that can b violent but when a woman strike a man the law more leinient with them cause they female n if i was bobby ida malled ur ass cause if u bold enough to hit a man u better be able ta fight like a man n god gone catch up to u believe that...u done stabbed bobby n got away with that, theres so many witnesses it aint fuckin funny....ur nuts n should either be locked in a nut house n the key thrown away or sum1 need ta beat tha breaks off that ass ....perhaps my dudes f tha D can come down n show u how they do hoes like u....gangbangin since u like ta fuck so much u skank ass stank ass hoe! erry dog has they day n urs comin real quick cause errybody fed up....u burnin all yo bridges n gone b lonely for too long!"

My head hurts after about the first two lines.

[Simbo Klice]

My head hurts after about the first two lines.

I debated breaking it up into paragraphs but where would I even start?

[Autumn]

I debated breaking it up into paragraphs but where would I even start?

I think starting was your first mistake.

:eek:

[britrock88]

That's what she gets for being Bobby's side action.

[PilotMan]

My niece's posts are all like that, breathless pleas of love for some doofy high school kid she'll forget about in a month. It's rather painful to have to watch people, in her case, go through adolescence publicly. It just makes me wonder what horribly embarrassing things would I have posted as a teen.

This. It's like an open window to all the things that diaries were for.

a rambling diatribe that was nearly incoherent and disturbing to think about someone actually posting.


No way that was 160 characters.

[Julio Riddols]

This was just far too good not to share... I can't remember if I went to high school with this person or something but she is good for about one of these nutcase posts a week. For the record I have no idea who or what she's talking about.

"well how the tables turn....cant wait to see that bitch lose more than she already has....her kids for one, bouta lose her home, aint got her parents no more, treats her brother like shit, as well as everyone that tries to help her n even stole hella pills n diamond bracelets off a 82 yr old woman w parkinsons, and pregnant w her third kid and aint even got her first two...what a mom! what a winner--NOT! JILL M******JUST DO US ALL A FAVOR N KILL URSELF SINCE U WANA KILL THE BABY IN UR WOMB LIKE U TRIED KILLIN THE LAS...T ONE W DRUGS N SHIT N U ABORDIN THIS ONE...CAUSE U KNOW U AINT FIT! n got ur fam thinkin baby jacob juss has health probs no bitch hes addicted to pills, coccaine, methadone, perks, vicodin, xanax, zoloft, morphine and weed bc u wanted to kill him so u aint have to b connected to his daddy no more n u screamin that bobby this n bobby that no bitch u need psychiatric help, u bipolar as fuck, then tellin him u gone fuck jeremy ******, bobby ******, chris *******, and a whole bunch more dudes to piss him off---u cant hurt him no more stupid hoe, go get it in then, get ya pussy blown tha fuck out..n now he layin in icu n where u at??? ur house sittin on ur fat ass, thats love right? bitch u dont even love urself let alone a real ma fucka like him n if u ever say i got genital warts again bitch i will post pics of my pretty lil pink pussy on dis bitch n let ma fuckas see fa theyself if they see any shit like that on my shit, u the one who changes men more than u change ya underwear....comin home three hours late f work, make up fresh n hair sweaty....dont take a rocket scientist to figure out what u was doin...n u aint ever gone get ur babies back actin psycho like u did yesterday puttin ya hands on bobby, i wish the fuck u would hit me....ooh i fuckin wish u woulda.....but come monday ull have a warrant for ur arrest for the assault ....see ladies it aint just ment that can b violent but when a woman strike a man the law more leinient with them cause they female n if i was bobby ida malled ur ass cause if u bold enough to hit a man u better be able ta fight like a man n god gone catch up to u believe that...u done stabbed bobby n got away with that, theres so many witnesses it aint fuckin funny....ur nuts n should either be locked in a nut house n the key thrown away or sum1 need ta beat tha breaks off that ass ....perhaps my dudes f tha D can come down n show u how they do hoes like u....gangbangin since u like ta fuck so much u skank ass stank ass hoe! erry dog has they day n urs comin real quick cause errybody fed up....u burnin all yo bridges n gone b lonely for too long!"

This would be a great opening monologue to a film... "Dat Bitch Jill" coming to theaters near you...

[stevew]

Tyler Perry's Why Did I Flunk Grammar?

[Simbo Klice]

This. It's like an open window to all the things that diaries were for.



No way that was 160 characters.

She starts with the post and then comments on it with the rest. I'd read the comment first and thought she was directing her fury at an 82 year old woman with Parkinson's who was pregnant with her third kid.

[DougW]

http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/2954/22304163.jpg

[MJ4H]

OMG! yea that sayins true it take a man to make a baby but it takes even bigger man to raise that baby!!! Stupid f*$#%n guys p%*$ me off i mean seriously im tired of this f%@$#n sh*t gaaaaaa!!!!!!

[Ksyrup]

I don't know who tweeted this since it was a retweet, but I thought this was a pretty funny comment:

Twitter makes me want to hang out with people I've never met and facebook makes me wants to stop hanging out with people I know.

[Rizon]

I have no idea what just happened to Facebook, but my entire feeds are nothing but pictures of my friends. There are no status messages whatsoever. It even says I posted 234 pics to my wall on Monday.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I have no idea what just happened to Facebook, but my entire feeds are nothing but pictures of my friends. There are no status messages whatsoever. It even says I posted 234 pics to my wall on Monday.

Hmm ... could be virus. Could also be a new "feature" courtesy of FB.

(My first guess would be that you've accidentally changed your wall to show "Photos" rather than "Most Recent" in the little pulldown menu up there to the right of where it says "News Feed")

[PilotMan]

This from my alcoholic, Stalin loving failure of a human being, relative:

We don't give a fuck what you did today, we don't give a fuck what you saw today. All you can. Delete me as a "friend' I don't know you were not friends. Facebook is a horrible thing and you are all sheep fallowing the heard. We don't need it.

[Radii]

Sounds like a fun guy to hang out with for sure.

[PilotMan]

dola

more award winning philosophy. Pretty sure he is shamelessly drunk posting.

I want to say what's up to all you people that feel the need to talk about every little thing that goes on in your precious little life, people don't want to hear it, people are meant to keep their personal shit to themselves deal with your own life and keep your mouth shut facebook os for pussy birches begging for attention

[MJ4H]

ironic

[BYU 14]

Woke up this morning to a bunch of comments on pictures from a "friend" who was obviously hacked posting shit on pictures of my wife and I like "I went into the jungle and found an Ape" and "if I am gay just be with a man instead of a woman that looks like one" and "You will get the HIV you deserve for race mixing"

I wish someone would make an app where you could put your fist through your computer screen and hit the pussy on the other end right in the fucking mouth!

[Autumn]

That's horrid. It doesn't even belong in this thread, it's too horrible to be pathetic.

[ColtCrazy]

The latest chain one...

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another fat guy . No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if u are against bullying and stereotype s. I bet 98% of you wont...

I love how at the end, 98% of us are stereotyped!

[BYU 14]

That's horrid. It doesn't even belong in this thread, it's too horrible to be pathetic.

True, but the person that wrote it sure is pathetic...

[Autumn]

The latest chain one...

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another fat guy . No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if u are against bullying and stereotype s. I bet 98% of you wont...

I love how at the end, 98% of us are stereotyped!

A Facebook user doesn't re-post this. No one knows his mother was killed by a chain letter. Re-post this if you are against stereotyping.

[JonInMiddleGA]

The latest trend in status spam has me about ready to go Rick James on somebody.

The "repost this if you're on God's side" quickie now has a new tagline "... if you're on the Devil's side keep scrolling"

I've got no gripe with someone posting a particular statement about their faith if they are inspired to do so but either God is cc'ing a whole lot of people on the same inspiration word for word or there's some folks who are a little too hung up on trying to look "right" instead of listening & trying to live "right".

Time to go kill pixels on the 360 before I go off on FB any more than I already have. {mumble} {'bout ready to smack a bitch} {/mumble}

[Rizon]

A model's page I'm a fan of, responses after she posted a pic.

[Ksyrup]

So you posted, what, 5 of those?

[Ksyrup]

The latest chain one...

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another fat guy . No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if u are against bullying and stereotype s. I bet 98% of you wont...

I love how at the end, 98% of us are stereotyped!

I only stereotype the ugly people I know were born that way.

[Easy Mac]

The latest trend in status spam has me about ready to go Rick James on somebody.

The "repost this if you're on God's side" quickie now has a new tagline "... if you're on the Devil's side keep scrolling"

I've got no gripe with someone posting a particular statement about their faith if they are inspired to do so but either God is cc'ing a whole lot of people on the same inspiration word for word or there's some folks who are a little too hung up on trying to look "right" instead of listening & trying to live "right".

Time to go kill pixels on the 360 before I go off on FB any more than I already have. {mumble} {'bout ready to smack a bitch} {/mumble}

They should probably know that God uses Google+

[Galaxy]

I love it when people end a relationship, they delete any evidence (statuses, pictures) of it they can.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Kayala Scott's 22 month old baby that shot itself in the heart with a brad nailer ... poor kid has now been "in critical condition" for about a year, or rather would have been if there was even the tiniest scrap of credible evidence he existed outside of FUCKING WALL SPAM.

[Radii]

Wait... someone you're facebook friends with has made up having a kid?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Wait... someone you're facebook friends with has made up having a kid?

Probably ... but that has nothing to do with what I'm bitching about ;)

This is one of those persistent spam things, urban legend/myth almost certainly (snopes has it as "undetermined"). Over the past year or so, the exact same post has shown up with over a half dozen different mothers names & even spawned an almost certainly debunked claim from the "father" who was posting on several discussion forums.

[Radii]

ohhh ok, I have not seen that one. I'm very disappointed in my high school friends for not going there.

[JonInMiddleGA]

ohhh ok, I have not seen that one. I'm very disappointed in my high school friends for not going there.

Just so you don't feel left out
http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2010/08/09/viral-prayer-request-22-month-old-shot-himself-with-a-nail-gun.htm

And the FB version
URGENT PRAYER REQUEST!!! PLEASE RE-POST!! KAYLA SCOTT'S 22 MONTH OLD SON SHOT HIMSELF IN THE CHEST WITH A BRAD NAILER - IT WENT IN HIS HEART HE IS NOW IN CRITICAL CONDITION AND NOT DOING WELL - NEITHER IS HIS MOM. PLEASE START A PRAYER CHAIN FOR THIS BABY! PLEASE COPY N PASTE ...AS YOU WOULD WANT SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR YOU, Thanks guys xxxxx I wanna see this as your status for at least half hour please xxxx !!!!...GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS

[PilotMan]

Ahh, my loser, brother in law drunk posting. At least this one isn't blood.

do you understand the HELL I WILL RAIN DOWN UPON YOU? DO YOU? you brought it upon yourself. i try to be nice, and you fucked me over. so fuck you you loser asshole

[Galaxy]

Ahh, my loser, brother in law drunk posting. At least this one isn't blood.

Sounds like family holidays are fun in your neck of the woods.

[terpkristin]

Posted by a coworker. No, she's not an engineer.
Scary fact: the earthquake today was almost as powerful as the one that destroyed Port au Prince, Haiti.... Only 1.1 away....
:banghead::banghead::banghead:

/tk

[JediKooter]

Posted by a coworker. No, she's not an engineer.

:banghead::banghead::banghead:

/tk

Wow. Someone point that co-worker to the USGS site please.

[terpkristin]

Wow. Someone point that co-worker to the USGS site please.

Yeah, I'm tempted to comment on her post and remind her about logartihmic scales...

But she's also the type to take everything as a personal attack and frankly I don't have the energy for the drama. Just gonna ignore it.

Of course, the other "funny" thing is that I'm sitting next to my mom so I read it out to her and first thing my mom says is, "wow, the public education system failing us..." and I have to reminder her that this person is my age and I went to all public schools...

For the record, the poster is an admin at work.

/tk

[JediKooter]

Yeah, I'm tempted to comment on her post and remind her about logartihmic scales...

But she's also the type to take everything as a personal attack and frankly I don't have the energy for the drama. Just gonna ignore it.

Of course, the other "funny" thing is that I'm sitting next to my mom so I read it out to her and first thing my mom says is, "wow, the public education system failing us..." and I have to reminder her that this person is my age and I went to all public schools...

For the record, the poster is an admin at work.

/tk

I don't blame you. Pick your battles. :)

She probably wouldn't get it anyway if you tried to explain it to her even if she didn't think you were picking on her.

An admin. I can only imagine some of the emails that come from that address.

[MJ4H]

still peeling from my sunburn, it must of been bad if my gyno noticed.











wat

[JediKooter]

What's her number?

[albionmoonlight]

still peeling from my sunburn, it must of been bad if my gyno noticed.

MJ4H,

This is the pathetic facebook posts thread, not the random thoughts that don't deserve their own thread thread. :p

[Rizon]

wat

This.

[MJ4H]

MJ4H,

This is the pathetic facebook posts thread, not the random thoughts that don't deserve their own thread thread. :p

no

my gyno didnt notice

[sabotai]

Woman Always Really Excited To Be In Whatever Relationship Status She's Currently In | The Onion - America's Finest News Source (http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-always-really-excited-to-be-in-whatever-rela,2529/)

Thought this was funny and made me think of this thread.

[Young Drachma]

This is a twitter thing, but it cracked me up.

This tense-looking woman in Whole Foods looks like she's gonna prepare a dinner that she thinks will save her marriage.

[stevew]

Aug 13

LET ME SAY .......IT BETTER BE A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sept 6

I have been forced to make decisions in my life. Please know the choices I have made I have thought long and hard about. These choices are not made out of hatred but only for protection. Protection from ones that will never love me and I cannot trust. I am sorry because I don't want to do this but its the only way. I have no other options.


This girl probably doesn't need to have another kid, but I'd say it's a little bit TMI to announce a pregnancy and then allude to an abortion on facebook. But that's just me. I don't think I'm reading anything into this, either.

[Suicane75]

Well, she warned it to be a girl.

[JediKooter]

I recommend that her next trip out should be to get some birth control.

[DataKing]

Child said to his mom, "Mommy, I colored your sheets with lipstick!" In anger she started to hit her child until he was unconscious. Then, she regretted what she had done, and crying said to her child, "Please open your eyes!" But it was too late, his tiny heart had stopped beating. When she walked into her bedroom, the sheet said "I LOVE YOU MOMMY. "Copy and paste this for 1 hour if you're against child abuse. I'm against child abuse, Are you..:*(



I've got one of those people on my friends list who posts one of these obnoxious "put this as your status for 1 hour or you are a horrible human being" posts every f*cking day. For the most part I've gotten to the point where I just ignore them, but this one just reeks of junior-high sentimentality and made me realize this person never grew up.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I've got one of those people on my friends list who posts one of these obnoxious "put this as your status for 1 hour or you are a horrible human being" posts every f*cking day.

If you've only got one then count your blessings. There must be at least 10 of them on my list that post not only post them daily but often multiple ones in a single day (I guess they go searching for a new one once the hour is up or something).

Meanwhile, I'm not sure which is worse: people who only change their status via Funny Status Shuffle or those who use them but actually retype them.but don't credit the source.

[stevew]

Get all your fucking information before you come in my house putting me down. I know I'm in over in head and I need help and noone will help me and when I do ask for help I get fucked and this is what happens. I know I'm not a perfect mom but I'm doing the best I can but I'm not going to but Xavier at risk to make you ass holes happy

CPS hate ftw!

I hesitated to add this person, but now that I did, it's comedy gold. Clown car uterus, now housing its 6th occupant.

[JediKooter]

Everything is Obama's fault:

While dating, a woman gives up work time & a man loses income to court her, not to mention the cost of looking good for both parties...maybe obama should ban dating as part of his PLAN. Dating is bankrupting this country lol!

With this person, EVERYTHING is pretty much Obama's fault. It's the equivalent of liberals' "It's Bush's fault" rants when he was president. All I can say is, shit like this is tired and has jumped the shark years ago.

[spleen1015]

I had to ignore someone for the same reason. He managed to turn everything little thing into Obama's fault.

[JediKooter]

I've been tempted a couple of times lately to ignore her for posts like that and the "I'm a mom, you don't know how tough life is" posts.

[Ksyrup]

I've friended several of the parents of kids on my older daughter's softball team. One couple is getting a divorce, and to their credit, they have done a really good job of being civil to each other. Every now and then the guy will say something that veers toward uncomfortable territory, but 95% of the time, they pretty much look like the typical old married couple.

The guy's FB account, OTOH, is another story altogether. Holy shit. It's all about how much his life sucks and there's no reason to go on and how much he hates living and how he hates being alone and wishes he could see his kids more, etc. If you just stumbled onto his FB page, you'd be half-tempted to call 911 and ask for a welfare check. It's REALLY cringeworthy...and then he shows up to practices and games like nothing's happening. It's bizarre.

Here a sample of some status updates from the past 3 days:

"Lost control and about to hit the wall"

"**HELP** im so lost"

"And by the way if anyone needs me i will be digging my way out from under the big pile of S**T that you and life have dumped on me for the last few years"

"Life sucks"

"3 hours and counting this really sucks"

"Hatein me some life right now!!"

[JediKooter]

Ouch. I was kind of the same way when my wife left me, but, I usually (not always) keep it to myself and then when I was at work or out in public, I acted fine.

[stevew]

Another car wreck by the house prompted this exchange:

Mrs. Stevew. Yes. The kids catch the bus at the end of my driveway. That is the neighbor's mailbox and driveway in the picture.

XXX XXX WOW THATS SCRAY

XXX XXX SCARAY

[my note, if at first you don't spell Scary correctly, make sure to spell it wrong in the correction too]


Mrs. Stevew- Stevew wants to put up a sign in our yard that says SLOW THE FUCK DOWN

XXX XXX DO IT THE STAFTY IS AT STAKE

XXX XXX KIDS SAFTY

[such gold]

[JediKooter]

Please tell me caps lock was also used in this tradegidity. I mean, tragdy.

[spleen1015]

Another car wreck by the house prompted this exchange:

Mrs. Stevew. Yes. The kids catch the bus at the end of my driveway. That is the neighbor's mailbox and driveway in the picture.

XXX XXX WOW THATS SCRAY

XXX XXX SCARAY

[my note, if at first you don't spell Scary correctly, make sure to spell it wrong in the correction too]


Mrs. Stevew- Stevew wants to put up a sign in our yard that says SLOW THE FUCK DOWN

XXX XXX DO IT THE STAFTY IS AT STAKE

XXX XXX KIDS SAFTY

[such gold]

RLFO!

[sterlingice]

THEYRE STAFTY IS AT STEAK! (yum!)

SI

[molson]

I've been tempted a couple of times lately to ignore her for posts like that and the "I'm a mom, you don't know how tough life is" posts.

With motherhood comes nature's gift of having a societal pass to suck at life. You should know that.

[lighthousekeeper]

With motherhood comes nature's gift of having a societal pass to suck at life. You should know that.

:lol:

[JediKooter]

With motherhood comes nature's gift of having a societal pass to suck at life. You should know that.

Oh, I so want to post that on my facebook. :)

[JonInMiddleGA]

Can't find the thread where the last batch of FB "updates" was discussed, maybe it was way up the line in this one somewhere. Anyhoo ...

The Element Hiding Helper for AdBlock plug-in for Mozilla might just be the greatest single browser add-on in the history of the interwebz. Once I remember how the heck I killed the annoying chatbar thing when it debuted, it took me less than 5 minutes to completely erase the almost equally annoying "ticker" that hit FB with the latest updates.

The new style for the center frame wall is still annoying at this point but at least the motion sickness inducing mess on the right vanished with relative ease.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Now LMAO ... I go back to the helper to get rid of the new "People To Subscribe To" suggestion box. Mouseover to select the element to hide & happened to notice how it was named (or tagged or whatever the right phrase is):

"Ego"

Only thing better would have been if they had called it "Stalk".

[Ksyrup]

I hardly ever go to the actual FB site - 99% of my FB interaction is through my ipod and blackberry apps. So I miss out on all the outrage over changes to the site, because I don't really notice anything different on the apps.

It's funny how things seem to progress - Myspace to FB, then FB to twitter. Although they are different (or at least, I use them completely differently), I have little use for FB these days. Twitter, OTOH, has revolutionized the way I watch live TV and follow sports. It's like following along to a MST3K chat for every event that I care about. Once you get used to getting news from twitter, you'll be amazed at how slow websites are to react. By the time something's posted on a website, it's old news.

[JonInMiddleGA]

With the complete FUBAR of the news feeds that rolled out sometime after I went to bed but before I got up, this may be the beginning of the end for FB for me.

I have neither the time nor patience for resetting 308 people to "show all updates" & I have no desire for FB's busted ass algorithm to determine what posts I see/don't see.

I tried using their stupid ass lists to get around it, figured I'd make a new list that had every person on my F'list on it & then set them all globally ... except that stupidly shows me quite literally everything in detail, including posts/comments they make to people I don't know/have never heard of and have no business (or interest) in voyeuring their interactions.

This has to be the dumbest thing I've seen since New Coke. Makes Qwikster look like fucking genius.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Okay, lesson learned ... Unless you're intention is to completely cyberstalk someone, do NOT choose the "show all" option that now appears with all of your friends.

"All" literally means "all". For example, a friend "likes" the status update of someone that I don't know ... my wall gets hit with the entire status update of a rank stranger just because a mutual friend "liked" it. In theory I don't think I should even be able see that (unless they've actively changed their security from "friends" to "public" ... and how many people have really done that?)

[JonInMiddleGA]

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/293449_274491775908956_100000444073891_1005918_904829375_n.jpg

[DataKing]

Where the fuck is my 'Most recent' option?!?!

[Autumn]

Where the fuck is my 'Most recent' option?!?!

The most recent is now just below all the top stories.

Also of interest to me is that if you click on the blue corner on the top stories you can remove posts from the Top STories list, and in fact tell FAcebook you don't want those kind of posts in your Top Stories anymore. I'm hoping this will be a big improvement down the line as I can tailor that list.

You can also create a Close Friends list now so you can get the important recent stuff in one view.

[Ksyrup]

So the Status Updates I'm seeing are not all of the status updates of everyone I'm friends with? It's just some FB/randomly-determined group of my friends FB has decided I should see? Is that the issue here? Cuz I really can't tell what I'm not seeing.

[bhlloy]

Apparently so. It's annoying as hell as apparently facebook has decided that a bunch of my fringe friends I've never had any interaction with whatsoever are now the posts I want to see the most.

Like Autumn, I'm willing to give it a pass for now if it "remembers" who I'm interested in and who I'm completely not, it could be a useful feature down the line I guess.

[Ksyrup]

To "remember" though, you have to do something active, right? I do nothing but just scroll through updates. I have no idea how I would change things to make it include all "most recent" updates.

[bhlloy]

Yeah, if you click in the top left I believe, you can say "don't consider this top news" and facebook will remember it. No idea if that takes the person off the list permanently though or if it will just try to filter things based on the content of the post.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Where the fuck is my 'Most recent' option?!?!

The most recent is now just below all the top stories.

Also of interest to me is that if you click on the blue corner on the top stories you can remove posts from the Top STories list, and in fact tell FAcebook you don't want those kind of posts in your Top Stories anymore. I'm hoping this will be a big improvement down the line as I can tailor that list.

You can also create a Close Friends list now so you can get the important recent stuff in one view.

This is my issue.

I choose Most Recent because I want to see the most recent posts. Had I wanted to see top stories, I'd choose Top Stories.

[stevew]

I was managing my most recent list just fine by blocking the people/types of posts(games) that i didn't want to see. I hate when they fuck with this stuff, so goddamn annoying

[JediKooter]

3413

[spleen1015]

I think I am done with this fucking thing.

I just want to see status updates in the order they were posted. That's it. I don't want this Top Story bullshit. And they don't make it obvious how to change anything or fix it the way you want it.

Fuck fb, fuck them right in the ass.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/state_web_winter/facebook.jpg

[Ksyrup]

heh.

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/162828_485955810924_504730924_6471940_7219139_n.jpg

[Ksyrup]

I just want to see status updates in the order they were posted. That's it.

+1

If getting this back takes any work, and especially if I'm required to go to the actual site to manually fix this, then FB has lost whatever minimal usefulness it had to me.

On my ipod, I see a list of recent posts in order under what's called Status Updates (instead of Most Recent), but I don't know if that's just a smattering of selected updates, or all of them that have been posted recently. If it's the latter, I guess I'm good.

[spleen1015]

+1

If getting this back takes any work, and especially if I'm required to go to the actual site to manually fix this, then FB has lost whatever minimal usefulness it had to me.

On my ipod, I see a list of recent posts in order under what's called Status Updates (instead of Most Recent), but I don't know if that's just a smattering of selected updates, or all of them that have been posted recently. If it's the latter, I guess I'm good.

The Most Recent link was there on the website. Now it is gone and you don't have the option from what I can tell.

[Ksyrup]

Yeah, I'm thinking this definitely isn't posting every update of my friends. I rarely if ever have 20-30 minutes between posts in the middle of the day, and that's what I have now.

[ISiddiqui]

I choose Most Recent because I want to see the most recent posts. Had I wanted to see top stories, I'd choose Top Stories.

This.

What is Facebook's fascination with "Top Stories"? I think most people want to see "Most Recent".

[JediKooter]

What I want to know is, what the hell the difference is between Top Stories, Most Recent, From Earlier Today, etc....????? If they are all posted by my friends or entities that I've 'liked', just show me their posts in sequential/chronological order.

It's like when Homer went to the Duff Brewery and you see Duff, Duff Light & Duff Dry all coming from the same spigot.

[DaddyTorgo]

What a fragging trainwreck.

[DaddyTorgo]

This.

What is Facebook's fascination with "Top Stories"? I think most people want to see "Most Recent".

Advertisers will be able to pay them for "Top Stories" positioning?

[JediKooter]

This pretty much sums up what Facebook is doing. All the information is coming from one place (friends and entities liked. I know it's two, but, they both do only one thing...post things), yet they feel the need to break the info up into categories for some reason.

[stevew]

These changes probably are good for someone who has 500+ friends. For people like me that don't friend that many people, these changes are dumb.

[JonInMiddleGA]

What is Facebook's fascination with "Top Stories"? I think most people want to see "Most Recent".

Only explanation seems to be that the Zuckhead in charge is a control freak who thinks he knows better than you which posts you really want to see.

The difference between the Boy Scouts & Facebook seems to be that the Scouts have adult leadership.

[Pumpy Tudors]

The problem with you people is that you think you know yourself better than Facebook does. You're wrong. Facebook knows what you want to see. Facebook is telling you what you want to see. Stop fighting Facebook and let Facebook have its way. Facebook knows.

It knows.

[JediKooter]

These changes probably are good for someone who has 500+ friends. For people like me that don't friend that many people, these changes are dumb.

This right here makes the most sense.

However, since I'm not a 'friend' collector and have less than 200 friends on my list and even fewer groups, all I see is the most recent post repeated in the window on the right. Thank you Office of Redundancy.

[sterlingice]

http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/state_web_winter/facebook.jpg

First thing I thought of

SI

[Ksyrup]

I'm not exactly sure what all the shit is that FB annoucned today, but from the gist of it, I might be deleting my account.

[JediKooter]

I find the lack of screen shots disturbing.

[DaddyTorgo]

I'm not exactly sure what all the shit is that FB annoucned today, but from the gist of it, I might be deleting my account.

hmm?

Okay - I just looked and that is wayyy too much oversharing.

So say I approve the HBO app because I want to interact with Game of Thrones stuff. And say several months go by and then i come back and I watch some racy R-rated movie, or worse, something like CineMax (which is owned by HBO) is folded into the HBO app...now I watch some skinemax movie or something...that's going to show up in my newsfeed for the world to see.

Thank you, fuck no Zuckerberg. Jeezus. What's so hard about letting people control what they share? It's not difficult for people to do - why keep making all the choices for them. Fuck you.

[Ksyrup]

They're basically changing FB into an app-driven, privacy-free zone where everything you do is communicated to your friends (and maybe others, who knows) without you having to do anything. I really have no interest in reading a bunch of commercials for companies dressed up in automatic feed updates on my phone that say, "Jason just watched Episode 3, Season 2 of The Wire on Netflix Streaming!" or "Kelly is listening to Backstreet Boys Radio on Pandora!"

[JediKooter]

Ugh...

When does the "Death of Facebook as we know it" thread start?

Or is that the Google+ thread?

[DaddyTorgo]

They're basically changing FB into an app-driven, privacy-free zone where everything you do is communicated to your friends (and maybe others, who knows) without you having to do anything. I really have no interest in reading a bunch of commercials for companies dressed up in automatic feed updates on my phone that say, "Jason just watched Episode 3, Season 2 of The Wire on Netflix Streaming!" or "Kelly is listening to Backstreet Boys Radio on Pandora!"

Yeah - seriously no. No interest from me either.

[DaddyTorgo]

Ugh...

When does the "Death of Facebook as we know it" thread start?

Or is that the Google+ thread?

Go ahead and start it up!

[Ksyrup]

I could be wrong, but from what I've read about the press conference, that's what I took from it.

[Ksyrup]

Facebook users now can see what their friends are doing "in real time," even if those friends don't click a button to publish their activities to Facebook. By approving certain music apps, a Facebook user would allow the site to post every song he or she listened to on music-streaming service Spotify, for example.

Zuckerberg called this "real-time serendipity."

This is "the most significant change we've made to our platform since we launched it four years ago," Facebook CTO Bret Taylor said.

To promote this real-time sharing, Facebook announced partnerships with Yahoo News, Netflix, Hulu, Spotify, foodie social network Foodspotting and others. These companies have created Facebook apps that can post all of a person's activities on Facebook's new "ticker," which appears in the top right-hand corner of the site's homepage.

Zuckerberg called this a "frictionless experience," since users don't have to click a button to publish each of their activities. If they watch a TV show on Netflix, and they've approved Netflix's app, that information would just automatically appear on Facebook.

The changes will no doubt raise some privacy concerns, and some Internet users who were watching the presentation reacted negatively.*

[Ksyrup]

So basically, take Farmville status updates and multiply them by a million for everything from music to movies to TV to restaurants to news items you read to your location. Now, I guess people have to agree to the apps for this to happen, but even if it's just a few people, I'm getting a bunch of information I don't want.

[bhlloy]

I generally try to stay relatively calm when it comes to FB (after all it's free and useful) but it doesn't sound like I'll have any use or interest in what they are trying to become. Guess I'll be giving G+ another shot.

[ISiddiqui]

These changes probably are good for someone who has 500+ friends. For people like me that don't friend that many people, these changes are dumb.

I have 552 friends. I want to see Most Recent. How does it know who the Top people are? What if one my friends I haven't spoken to in a while is going through something?

[Ksyrup]

FB has decided you don't care.

[ISiddiqui]

So basically, take Farmville status updates and multiply them by a million for everything from music to movies to TV to restaurants to news items you read to your location. Now, I guess people have to agree to the apps for this to happen, but even if it's just a few people, I'm getting a bunch of information I don't want.

I assume that's why they did this seperation with the right side being a constantly flowing ticket... that's where all of this will go.

Btw, handy chart for deciphering the new Facebook:

http://p.twimg.com/AZ2EZ0YCMAA8Dko.jpg:large

[JonInMiddleGA]

I assume that's why they did this seperation with the right side being a constantly flowing ticket... that's where all of this will go.


So as long as we've been smart enough to remove the stupid fucking ticker from view, we should be gtg. Well that & making sure not to approve any of the apps that are feeding it.

[MacroGuru]

So the announcement is why I saw an increase of G+ invites today...

[terpkristin]

You know, I don't mind that FB is trying to give people options for how they see stuff and interact.

What I do mind is it changing stuff. I'd rather them say, "we're going to leave it alone and let you do your own filtering to decide how you want to see what you want to see, but here are all these options you have!" I'm not a fan of FB's algorithm deciding what is important to me.

But I'll still keeping FB, just won't be as useful (?) as it was before.

/tk

[sterlingice]

And the great thing in my world- apparently adblock has blocked whatever silly news ticket everyone is up in arms about so in this thread I get to be that a-hole "Use Firefox" guy :)

SI

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Big image showing what the new Facebook profile page will look like:
http://i.minus.com/i7Sa32Ymsuahc.png

[JonInMiddleGA]

Big image showing what the new Facebook profile page will look like:

The one that has people the most up in arms is the Nike thing, which pretty much hangs a "here's my route in case you'd like to kidnap me & dump the body somewhere later" around your neck.

Well, that's the biggest gripe on the specific apps I've seen. The larger problem is that all of this apparently isn't just on your profile, it's going to be dumped streaming into that godforsaken ticker.

[bronconick]

What earthly reason would anyone sign up for apps that track all that shit? Seems like one of those self inflicted wounds.

[MJ4H]

What earthly reason would anyone sign up for apps that track all that shit? Seems like one of those self inflicted wounds.

this. just don't give these stupid useless apps permission.

[Neon_Chaos]

http://blogs.westword.com/showandtell/XhibitFacebook.jpg

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

From a design standpoint, I think it's beautiful.

[britrock88]

But good design aside, it will inundate us with so much information as to become essentially meaningless.

BTW, no more wall posts?

[Ksyrup]

this. just don't give these stupid useless apps permission.

You have no control over whether your friends sign up for all of this hit and it streams into your status updates like all the games shit.

[MJ4H]

They are going to take away my ability to block apps?

[Ksyrup]

You can keep yourself from streaming shit onto other people's feeds, but in order to keep other people's shit from your feed, I assume you'll have to manually block all of that shit. That's a pretty terrible design, when you force people to have to actively disengage from the main purpose of your "new and improved" website.

[bronconick]

You can keep yourself from streaming shit onto other people's feeds, but in order to keep other people's shit from your feed, I assume you'll have to manually block all of that shit. That's a pretty terrible design, when you force people to have to actively disengage from the main purpose of your "new and improved" website.


Can I still click on the first farmville update I see, click the list where it gives me the option to hide just the post, or all farmville, or all person X?

*checks* Yep. Don't see the problem. Goodbye all Farmville.

[MJ4H]

You can keep yourself from streaming shit onto other people's feeds, but in order to keep other people's shit from your feed, I assume you'll have to manually block all of that shit. That's a pretty terrible design, when you force people to have to actively disengage from the main purpose of your "new and improved" website.

FWIW that's the way it already is.

[Ksyrup]

My understanding is that it's going to explode into tie-in apps for nearly everything you do that's connected to the net, so we get a real-time update when you're watching TV, listening to music, out to eat, as you go place to place, etc. At least, if you agree to all of that (which no doubt a portion of everyopne's friends will do).

[ISiddiqui]

I have the new Timeline profile as well. I think it's quite nice, but not all the intregrated well into the homepage.

[bhlloy]

So my "tracker" feed is a list of everything some guy I played soccer with for a couple of years is listening to on rdio for the last 5 hours. That's awesome. No really, very useful and exactly why I signed up to use facebook in the first place.

I wonder if he even knows at this point that all his friends can see the shitty music he's listening to.

[Julio Riddols]

I find it pretty easy to remove posts by these other apps that I don't want to see. Not sure what the problem is.

[stevew]

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: 'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together. So the doctor said: 'OK and what do you want me to do?' She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.' The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.' She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request. Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms. The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child! 'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.' The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same! If you agree, please SHARE. Together we can help save precious lives! "Love says I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person. Abortion says I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself..." Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself for the good of sinners! Thats perfect love!

unfriend.

[DaddyTorgo]

unfriend.

seriously.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

http://i.imgur.com/YT3fA.jpg

Easy way to bother some of the people that get mentioned in this thread.

[bronconick]

http://i.imgur.com/YT3fA.jpg

Easy way to bother some of the people that get mentioned in this thread.

Right-clicked, and saved.

[DanGarion]

Already posted my first Facebook Gold picture! It's awesome having a selective account now that I paid money!

[JediKooter]

From a mom that doesn't use birth control...

"What's a mom worth?According to one report, $138,095 a year, working an average of over 52 hours overtime-only by the grace of our Mighty God has he equipped me to be a Mom,housekeeper, teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager,CEO and psychologist."

[Suburban Rhythm]

From a mom that doesn't use birth control...

"What's a mom worth?According to one report, $138,095 a year, working an average of over 52 hours overtime-only by the grace of our Mighty God has he equipped me to be a Mom,housekeeper, teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager,CEO and psychologist."

I had a similar one over the weekend, something about a guy who prays and asks to be his wife (stay at home mom) for a day so he can take it easy.

Then goes through the eleventy-billion things he (she) has to do that one day, and asks to be changed back to go to his less demanding job.

It referenced doing laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing floors, etc etc each day. I said "If you have to continually do the same thing daily, you are probably doing it wrong" and got a "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!"

[mckerney]

Already posted my first Facebook Gold picture! It's awesome having a selective account now that I paid money!

Be sure to tag your friends who are most likely to get upset by it.

[sterlingice]

From a mom that doesn't use birth control...

"What's a mom worth?According to one report, $138,095 a year, working an average of over 52 hours overtime-only by the grace of our Mighty God has he equipped me to be a Mom,housekeeper, teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager,CEO and psychologist."

And it only costs $5 a month to get birth control!

SI

[JediKooter]

And it only costs $5 a month to get birth control!

SI

Yup and it's free at Planned Parenthood, if you can't afford the 5 dollars.

[DanGarion]

Yup and it's free at Planned Parenthood, if you can't afford the 5 dollars.

But PP is the devil!...

[JediKooter]

But PP is the devil!...

That is true. Don't forget, it's also an abortion factory.

[Izulde]

unfriend.

I saw a similar one last week, but it was this big long rambling first person diatribe from an unborn daughter where the mother was in an abusive relationship.

I felt like commenting that it was A) complete and total emotional manipulation and B) stereotyping to the extreme to tie those two issues together

But I didn't want to get into it.

[bronconick]

Anyone else reaching their limit on the # of Steve Jobs updates, pictures in memory of, videos in memory of, and out and out sadness for a CEO that I'm reasonably certain none of my friends ever met and probably wouldn't have been allowed into a building he was in? It's been at least as much of a spike as Osama's death was, if not more.

[DanGarion]

Anyone else reaching their limit on the # of Steve Jobs updates, pictures in memory of, videos in memory of, and out and out sadness for a CEO that I'm reasonably certain none of my friends ever met and probably wouldn't have been allowed into a building he was in? It's been at least as much of a spike as Osama's death was, if not more.
I hit my limit after about 5 minutes after I heard the news...

[JediKooter]

Nope. But, that's because a lot of my friends on facebook I worked with at Apple and a lot of them are still at Apple. So, different perspective from my point of view. On the flip side, not seeing too many of my 'non Apple' friends say much at all.

[heybrad]

I love the irony of some of the Steve Jobs sadness posts followed by posts that we should be all protesting corporate greed.

[stevew]

I'm telling ya, my wife's cousin is gold.

so either i stay here and put up with the shit or i take my kids and go live in the ghetto either way im fucked

Some highlights from the 60+ awesome responses. Mind you, this girl is pregnant with her 6th out of wedlock child and is approximately 28 years old.

her awesome mom-
you and the kids have rights its your home,tell him that guy or your family!!see then!! TELL HIM NO MORE PLAY GROW UP HE HAS A CHILD COMING!AND A FAMILY THAT NEEDS HIM TO ACT HIS AGE

op

my shits packed right now i keep tellin im leavin he says "go stay with with shawn and reggie or rob because thats who i talk to all day when hes at work" which anit even true i dont talk to noone
2 hours ago · Like

the lesses was up in last month its in both our names know...but if i do ive been thew this before i would have to give him 30 days then go to court
2 hours ago · Like


i wanna leave to show him i anit kiddin but i got 3 of them in school and i would have to go yes mom to your house then i got no way to bring them to school and i would have to leave longer then a weekend for him to take me for real

random tmi friend
call the cops! he has a warrant and that may be the only way to kick his ass straight again. If things don't change this week, I am bringing my mom back here from NH to get him in a rehab! worst that will happen is he will leave state again.

op

if xxxxxx goes to jaill im really fucked either way xxxxxxx will just bail him out and there goes the money hes been puttin up or if he has to stay i lose everything and with all thats going on with cps right now i dont need that.

[Ksyrup]

I've friended several of the parents of kids on my older daughter's softball team. One couple is getting a divorce, and to their credit, they have done a really good job of being civil to each other. Every now and then the guy will say something that veers toward uncomfortable territory, but 95% of the time, they pretty much look like the typical old married couple.

The guy's FB account, OTOH, is another story altogether. Holy shit. It's all about how much his life sucks and there's no reason to go on and how much he hates living and how he hates being alone and wishes he could see his kids more, etc. If you just stumbled onto his FB page, you'd be half-tempted to call 911 and ask for a welfare check. It's REALLY cringeworthy...and then he shows up to practices and games like nothing's happening. It's bizarre.

Here a sample of some status updates from the past 3 days:

"Lost control and about to hit the wall"

"**HELP** im so lost"

"And by the way if anyone needs me i will be digging my way out from under the big pile of S**T that you and life have dumped on me for the last few years"

"Life sucks"

"3 hours and counting this really sucks"

"Hatein me some life right now!!"


So last week I get a new friend request from this guy. Evidently, someone in his family slapped some sense into him, or he's got an attorney and headed down the path of divorce, because he deleted this account and started a new one. On this one, he posts nothing but sarcastic-sounding (I guess, given the history of his previous postings and his relationship) comments about being a "ray of sunshine" and loving life and all that stuff.

[Matthean]

I like that dud he does not lisson when you talk to well he is really into that paper
Found via a Red Wings photo.

[mckerney]

http://i.imgur.com/i3Rhc.png

[BYU 14]

http://i.imgur.com/i3Rhc.png

God is our society really this starved for attention? Pretty morbid.

[Matthean]

Don't get me started on the ones that say you need to pass it along if you want to show you are a true Christian. :banghead:

[JediKooter]

Don't get me started on the ones that say you need to pass it along if you want to show you are a true Christian. :banghead:

I'm good to go on those. :D

[JonInMiddleGA]

Don't get me started on the ones that say you need to pass it along if you want to show you are a true Christian. :banghead:

I finally snapped & lit somebody's ass up on one of those a few weeks ago. Haven't seen as many of them since.

[Young Drachma]

Give a Red Card to Your Annoying Social Media Friends - The Memphis Egotist (http://www.thememphisegotist.com/news/national/2011/october/20/give-red-card-your-annoying-social-media-friends)

[Young Drachma]

From a Twitter follower:

I was informed that two former employees made plans to ambush me in light of recent events. I'm working with my machete on my desk.

[MrBug708]

I hate all of these 11-11-11 posts and the 11th hour and the 11th minute crap. Why can't people realize that today is Veteran's Day

Yes

[EagleFan]

"Happy birthday, hottest guy on FOFC!"



:D

[terpkristin]

"Happy birthday, hottest guy on FOFC!"



:D

:D:D:D:D

[Matthean]

Jack and Jill was a great movie!!!

This coming from a girl who was too young to date anyway and then she moved. Even my aunt and uncle who see horrible films at least admitted to it being a really dumb funny movie. I honestly can't see how people go spend money on such utter and complete drivel when there are so many other options out there. I think this is a secretly important aspect of a relationship. You better make sure you are willing to see the same quality of movies/entertainment.

[terpkristin]

Ok, first from my wall. Why would anybody think what I wrote was "sweet"?
http://kristin.seidelmann-owners.com/fofc/sweet.jpg

Some other gems from today's feed...
I just enrolled into grad school...i was inspered by my two cousions
Going to make a real change...talk to some one at univeristy of phonix....get my check.

/tk

[Radii]

Ok, first from my wall. Why would anybody think what I wrote was "sweet"?

People are awesome at reading comprehension.

[Galaxy]

Some other gems from today's feed...



/tk

Harvard didn't accept his or her application?

[britrock88]

People are awesome at reading comprehension.

Or maybe attention span...

"'Graduated' from physical therapy." /reading, post comment, look like a nub

[Passacaglia]

Maybe he knows they give out candy at the pain management clinic?

[MJ4H]

oh my geez i fill like im drowning from my sinus's
Like · · 18 minutes ago ·

[Autumn]

University of Phonix, that's classic. I kind of want to start that school now. "When you leave here, you'll be an expert at phonix."

[Pumpy Tudors]

"Happy birthday, hottest guy on FOFC!"



:D

:D:D:D:D
hell yes

[Pumpy Tudors]

"I am really trying to not be miserable but it is difficult when you have vomiting n diarrhea topped off with a yeast infection. Im being punished for my piss-poor attitude, but I really cannot tolerate stupid people right now :("

[MJ4H]

She just gave me two of her three symptoms figure it out go

[Grover]

"I am really trying to not be miserable but it is difficult when you have vomiting n diarrhea topped off with a yeast infection. Im being punished for my piss-poor attitude, but I really cannot tolerate stupid people right now :("

Lovely.

[Pumpy Tudors]

If the woman who posted that shows up for bowling league tomorrow night, I'm basically just going to quit bowling.

[MJ4H]

Well what are your other choices

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'd better not catch a damn yeast infection

[JediKooter]

:popcorn:

[Grover]

If the woman who posted that shows up for bowling league tomorrow night, I'm basically just going to quit bowling.

You could casually ask if she's gone on any runs lately, or how the bread baking business is going.

[sterlingice]

You could casually ask if she's gone on any runs lately, or how the bread baking business is going.

A winner is you! Even better when I hear a muppet saying it in my mind.

SI

[Matthean]

Bracing for the wave of Twilight related Facebook posts. One Twilight mom on my Facebook page is already spamming about being waiting in line and for some reason it didn't click in my head. I just checked FB and it finally clicked.

(begins to weep)

[Suburban Rhythm]

Bracing for the wave of Twilight related Facebook posts. One Twilight mom on my Facebook page is already spamming about being waiting in line and for some reason it didn't click in my head. I just checked FB and it finally clicked.

(begins to weep)

I was expecting the same, but it's been very light so far. Probably the calm before the storm.

[Autumn]

at least they probably won't be posting a running commentary throughout the movie like a lot of the sports fans on my friends list do. 87 posts that don't mean anything if you're not watching the same game they are.

[Galaxy]

Anyone friends with this guy?

Cops: Burglar Logs Into Facebook While Breaking Into Georgia Home « CBS Atlanta (http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2011/11/18/cops-burglar-logs-into-facebook-while-breaking-into-georgia-home/)

[Pumpy Tudors]

"I am really trying to not be miserable but it is difficult when you have vomiting n diarrhea topped off with a yeast infection. Im being punished for my piss-poor attitude, but I really cannot tolerate stupid people right now :("
If the woman who posted that shows up for bowling league tomorrow night, I'm basically just going to quit bowling.
Welp, I quit.

[Autumn]

Time for a new hobby? I Hear embroidering is nice.

[terpkristin]

Time for a new hobby? I Hear embroidering is nice.

Don't knock it...

Knitting is good, too...practical... ;)

/tk

[Matthean]

First shit by myself.....nervous as fuck =/


Was suppose to say "shift." Needless to say he's getting an earful. :lol:

[MJ4H]

hahahaha nice

[Balldog]

No Facebook but LinkedIn...

JH got fired about a month ago for fraudulent expense reports then went somewhat postal, actually snuck into the office to confront his boss but his boss was out of the office and we've had security guards since.

HR Lady posts I'm Hiring (with job title and description) on LinkedIn for his replacement.

JH comments on her post - "It will take 3 to replace me."

Just really uncomfortable feeling reading it but kind of funny.