How can I beat Sean Payton?

[Senator]

It looks like the coach is keeping busy. The teams we head coach will play each other at 8pm this Monday in a 7 on 7 tourney.

I guess he coaches his son's team.

No blitzing allowed, so I can expect late hits across the middle?

[Flasch186]

go after his leg.

[Cap Ologist]

Open the 2nd half with an onside kick.

[Easy Mac]

I'll give a kid $5000 if he takes him out. That's allowed, righ?

[JonInMiddleGA]

I'll give a kid $5000 if he takes him out. That's allowed, righ?

As long as you lie badly about it afterwards, I don't see how anything could go wrong.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Just make sure the 5'5" QB he has isn't actually Brees.

[Thomkal]

Better hope Jonathan Vilma isn't trying to keep in football shape...

[Poli]

I had a flag game against Aeneas Williams's kid earlier this year. That went well.

[stevew]

I'm sure he won't be fazed if you start screaming at your players to kill the fucking head and take out the knees.

[Senator]

All answers on this thread deserve an A.

[sterlingice]

Offer better bounties than he does

SI

[stevew]

You should find a way to prominently display some bounty paper towels.

[Julio Riddols]

Have someone make up a huge sign in gold and black that says GO STAINS, with a fleur de lis on it.

[DaddyTorgo]

Have someone make up a huge sign in gold and black that says GO STAINS, with a fleur de lis on it.

This

[JPhillips]

http://blog.generalsentiment.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Roger-Goodell.jpg

Print that.

Cut out the eyes.

Attach a string.

Wear it as a mask.

[Raiders Army]

While Jerry Sandusky's appealing, try to get him out of jail and coach your team. He does need to do some community service, no?

[M GO BLUE!!!]

While Jerry Sandusky's appealing...

You find Jerry Sandusky appealing? Sick bastard.

[bronconick]

<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nPIH_snWBEs" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="420"></iframe>

Run this play.

[sterlingice]

You find Jerry Sandusky appealing? Sick bastard.


If Jerry Sandusky had gone after people who had found him appealing, Penn State wouldn't be in this predicament. Hi-Yo!

SI

[tarcone]

I really like the idea of the Bounty paper towels. Buy all the parents a roll and have them hold them up throughout the game.

[Critch]

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

[Senator]

Ought to be fun watching douche dads try to buddy up to him.

[PilotMan]

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

+1, omg, this!

[INDalltheway]

Stinkpalmed - that is fucking hilarious and genius. Made me cackle like a little girl after a long night in the world of retail!

[Matthean]

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

And then get a photo of you two.

[Peregrine]

Whether you win or lose, as you're shaking hands make sure to say that you could outcoach him any day of the week.

[Logan]

Hire an attractive blonde, a DJ, and some lighting guys...if history repeats itself, he'll be too distracted bumping and grinding to coach.

[Poli]

Film his practices.

[Senator]

I wanted to ask him after saying, "three claps" if I was a faceless opponent.

Just found out that before I took over the team we lost to them 70-7. Maybe I better just shut up and coach.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

This is beautiful, but does it count if Payton had just had his hand in the crack of his own sweaty ass, then looks at you as the sap he just stinkpalmed?

They may cancel each other out, but rather than making him think "why does my hand smell like ass?" he simply washes it thinking he got you good. Then you walk around with the sweat of two male asses intermingling on your hand. Perhaps one or both had not done as thorough a job in the wiping department either.

This is a road you may want to consider never taking, my friend. Unless you really feel the need. :cool:

[Julio Riddols]

That's when you go for the pissy stinkpalm. One up that bastard.

[MacroGuru]

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g250/j35bloom/JasonLee05MallRats.jpg

[DougW]

This thread is gold.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

That's when you go for the pissy stinkpalm. One up that bastard.

I initially read a different vowel in your stake raiser. I think I liked what I read better.

[Julio Riddols]

I initially read a different vowel in your stake raiser. I think I liked what I read better.

I guess, given enough time, one could cultivate some very pussy pimples..

[Senator]

Won the first game 19-13 and then played him. Parents were saying just don't let a 70-7 game happen again. We lost 54-38.

After we shook hands, I admit I smelled my hand, and sure enough, the smell was atrocious.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Won the first game 19-13 and then played him. Parents were saying just don't let a 70-7 game happen again. We lost 54-38.

After we shook hands, I admit I smelled my hand, and sure enough, the smell was atrocious.

:lol:

[Shkspr]

The only annoying thing is that now you have to root for him to be a head coach once more so that any time his team wins a game by 17 points you can drunkenly shout at the TV, "Hell, give me a bunch of children and I could coach a team closer than that!"

[Senator]

The only annoying thing is that now you have to root for him to be a head coach once more so that any time his team wins a game by 17 points you can drunkenly shout at the TV, "Hell, give me a bunch of children and I could coach a team closer than that!"

I am determined that this is not a moment to continually dwell on.

[Danny]

Little did you know that payton viewed this thread as a guest and decided to give you the pissy pussy stinkpalm

[M GO BLUE!!!]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oCdZGRD4mfI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Watch Schwartz's mouth. He clearly says "Did you stinkpalm me?"

[cartman]

Someone solved the riddle.

The Pop Warner Offense That Confounded Sean Payton, and What It Says About Offensive Innovation in the NFL « (http://grantland.com/the-triangle/the-pop-warner-offense-that-confounded-sean-payton-and-what-it-says-about-offensive-innovation-in-the-nfl/)