Reminder: We aren't promised tomorrow.

[Ben E Lou]

After the last service of the day at our church on Sunday, my wife and I grabbed the Associate Campus Pastor for a quick chat about some details regarding the small group over which we are taking leadership. It wasn't anything meaningful, just routine stuff like communications tools, child care options, best possible times we might be able to use the building to meet, getting a key, etc. When we were done, we headed to leave from the side door of the building, and Dan headed the other way, toward the back door. I was behind my wife and daughter. After a few steps, my wife stopped and said "Oh..." She turned around to head back toward Dan, but then stopped herself and muttered "Ahh...I can ask him that next week."

"Next week" never came. Dan, 52 years old and in pretty good apparent health and physical condition, dropped dead a few hours after that conversation from a massive heart attack.

This one isn't heavily a "personal" loss, per se. I knew Dan fairly well, but he wasn't in my closest circle of Lowcountry friends, either. We were in each other's more "extended community" circles, I guess you'd say, though because I am an elder at the church, fairly frequent volunteer, and pretty-much-every-Sunday attendee, I had regular interactions with him. But I can only think of two events that we've both attended outside of church functions: a birthday party for the daughter of a couple that volunteers in an area that Dan oversaw, and a 4th of July party at that same couple's house. And of course, all of you long-timers know that I'm no stranger to sudden and tragic deaths within my extended community. Point being, this isn't a thread looking for sympathy, or one of heavy grieving for an extremely close friend. Of course, I grieve for his bride of 31 years and his two young-adult children, and for some of my closer friends who were also close to him. And our church as a whole will be without his bright smile, encouraging words, and great example of servant leadership.

In my thoughts more than anything, though, are the timing and circumstances of that last conversation we had with him on this planet, in particular my wife's "...I'll ask him next week..." That is what has made me rather pensive this week--lots of thoughts about how fragile we are, how quickly life can end, etc., and that's really what I wanted to share. I mean, I've always made it a point to say "I love you" to my wife as the last words before one of us leaves the house, just in case those end up being the last words I say to her, but this has certainly made me say it with more meaning this week. And I'm going to get a physical ASAP. I've only had one since I moved to SC in 2006, and it's covered by my insurance. Shame on me for that.

[Subby]

Here here.

Well said.

[DaddyTorgo]

Well said Ben. Something for everyone to remember.

[Sun Tzu]

Here here.

Well said.

This.

[AnalBumCover]

I've always made it a point to say "I love you" to my wife as the last words before one of us leaves the house, just in case those end up being the last words I say to her.
I say this every night before we fall asleep, and every morning as I leave for work (I leave the house at 4:30 am and she's in a deep sleep at that time, but I say it nonetheless.

[Eaglesfan27]

Well said. A subject that has been on my mind often lately.

[Kodos]

All the more reason to stop screwing up my weight loss attempts. Thanks for a little perspective, Ben.

[MalcPow]

Definitely a soft jolt of perspective, thanks Ben

[stevew]

I was going to post something similar last week due to a friend of the family. It's okay to go to the doctor if you're feeling pain.

[lungs]

After losing one of my best friends a month ago, I understand completely and concur.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I learned this the hard way. Last time I saw my father I swear I heard a voice that said "Go back and tell him you love him" Of course, I knew better. I laughed it off & thought "next time." There was no next time.

Sorry about your friend, Ben...

[Chief Rum]

Sorry for your loss, ben, even if you're not looking for sympathy and he wasn't in your inner circle. It sounds like he had an impact, and that loss should be acknowledged.

As to your general point, I kinda had a moment like that two weeks ago. My GF and pretty much the girl I am going to marry is a big Torchwood fan, so I have been watching them on NetFlix (pretty good show, BTW). I just saw the 8th episode of the 1st season, and it had to do with someone coming back to life after being dead for a while and describing a "nothingness" to the afterlife. I knew it was just a show, that writer's vision of the afterlife (and actually there seems to be a plot point reference to it, so there might have been a point to all that, not sure yet). But even so, it just made me feel a little constrained, reminding me that maybe--maybe--we have just one life to live, a finite time of being, and we need to make it count. I saw my GF that night, and I told her how I felt and how much I loved her.

Just cause of a TV show, lol. Hey, wherever you get your lessons from, it's just important you learn from them right?

"If Tomorrow Never Comes..." fits. One of my favorite Garth songs.

[JonInMiddleGA]

We've got no guarantee of another second, our next step, our next breath.

That is not a thought (or an acknowledgment) that comes easily for most humans.

[BYU 14]

We've got no guarantee of another second, our next step, our next breath.

That is not a thought (or an acknowledgment) that comes easily for most humans.

So few words but so profound. Sorry for your loss Ben and thank you for the reminder to never leave an importnt word left unsaid.

[corbes]

Thanks Ben. I needed this.

[PilotMan]

I think that we as a forum are reaching an age where our own mortality becomes less tragedy and more reality. I have gone back and forth between these two places. The move to the latter is inevitable. Getting older sucks.

[MizzouRah]

Thanks Ben, I like to make sure I tell my family I love them. I also need to go in and see the doctor for a checkup.

[WVUFAN]

I read this from work, picked up the phone and called my wife to simply say "I love you." This was a great post, and something I need to do each morning.

[tyketime]

I think that we as a forum are reaching an age where our own mortality becomes less tragedy and more reality. I have gone back and forth between these two places. The move to the latter is inevitable. Getting older sucks.
I am certainly experiencing this. My health is not as good as it was. We're away this weekend and as I pulled out a number of prescription bottles, creams, etc, I literally said to myself that I can't believe I am turning into that guy. Next year I turn 50. Up to this point, I have not been bothered by "round number" birthdays - I hope that stays the same. My older son is now a high school sophomore, and I am becoming more and more aware how his time living in our house is zooming by. As we look at our aging parents, and all of their issues, we repeat the "getting old sucks" mantra.

Great reminder to appreciate life. Love the people around you...

[Alf]

carpe diem

[Ben E Lou]

If anyone is bored at work and wants to watch a memorial service for a guy they've never met, it's going to be streamed here starting at 9:55am: Seacoast Church Online (http://live.seacoast.org/)

[Buccaneer]

The last time I saw my father was September 2011 and I told him I love him when I left. The last time I spoke to my father was in March 2012 and I told him I love him and then he passed away soon after that.

[Ben E Lou]

Hall & Oates followed by Johnny Cash. Good start on the music end. (Yeah...that's how we roll at Seacoast. ;))

[Ben E Lou]

Anyone know of a way to record a stream? My wife is traveling and having difficulty getting to the site.

[Kodos]

I had a high school buddy who died last year of natural causes. That was an eye opener. People aren't supposed to just die in their early 40s.

[dickysty]

Yep, it happens everyday. I was just reading about a woman that died very close to my home in a single car accident. She ran of the road, hit a tree and her car caught fire. She was 52 years old. From what I read she had a husband of 22 years , 3 children and a great career. Very tragic.

My father had been diagnosed with lung cancer last year and although he's doing well there's no cure. The great thing about at least knowing is we have time to talk, laugh, plan and just be together. Unlike the woman that I wrote about.

I think I live a lot differently now that I'm close to 50 and time keeps moving, in what seems to be light speed.
I try my hardest to make everyday count and I always hug my wife daily, tell her I love her very much. I also never forget to try and hug my wonderful lab everyday. Try because she's hard to hug, she thinks it's all play, lol.

[Ben E Lou]

I thought "If Tomorrow Never Comes" was a nice song for a funeral video, but I had no idea the significance of it. Dan's wife posted this on FB 20 minutes ago. Wow.

If Tomorrow Never Comes - Dan Chritton loved music. It was not unusual for Danny to get on, and stay on, a certain artist. Recently, we have been through a Zac Brown, James Brown, Al Green and Barry White season.

A few weeks ago I really didn’t think twice when he remarked that we HAD to go to Walmart. There seemed to be an urgency in his voice, so I asked why? His reply was that we was looking for a Garth Brooks CD. Odd, I thought, we have iTunes. Why would we buy a CD. Danny then explained to me that certain artists do not sell their music as individual songs on iTunes because they believe that it does not retain the integrity of the entire work of the album. Okay....let’s go to Walmart.

Of course, we could not find a single Garth Brooks CD. Over the next few days and weeks he would update me on his Garth Brooks purchase on Walmart.com. I only half listened. Finally, the package arrived! I feel certain that he announced the package arrival to me, but again I was only half listening.

I left my office in Mt. Pleasant and drove as I did each day to his office in North Charleston. For whatever reason we switched places and he was driving us home to Summerville. He hands me the package and instructs me to open it and play disc one. He grabs the remote control (yes, a remote control in the car - which annoyed me because I never really figured out how to use his very complicated tuner). Quickly he fast forwards through each song without listening to anyone song in its entirety. Onto disc two! Again, fast forwarding through the songs. He asks me to read the names of the songs to him...”that’s the one, play it!” Funny thing, the song is on a greatest hits CD - doesn’t that mess with the integrity of the album? Danny was a thinker!

The song - If Tomorrow Never Comes. Then he tells me the rest of the story. You see, my hubby is a communicator, so sometimes you are left waiting for IT (the bottom line). Apparently, he had been listening to Pandora weeks before, heard this song and began the quest to own it.

We discussed the song on the ride home, through dinner, and whether we each knew how much the other was loved. On September 16, 2012, when Jesus called Danny home, there was no doubt and nothing left unsaid between us.

There are no coincidences, only God-incidences! I believe that this song was preordained by God to be used for the celebration of Danny’s life here on earth. What a joy and adventure the past 33 years with my best friend have been!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uAq_cF5UtQQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Chief Rum]

"If Tomorrow Never Comes..." fits. One of my favorite Garth songs.

Guess I'm Nostradamus.

Couldn't watch the video here at work, but I'll check it out when I get home. Amazing story.