Video Game Addiction

[SegRat]

Is this a real problem? My sister-in-law's husband has someserious issue going on? He has gone on 18 hour gaming session's. He has run their credtit through the roof. They will be 3 months behing on the mortgage. They owed check n go money. He was refusing to answer his phone, until yesterday when he told the that he died. The only bill he makes sure is paid on time is his internet/cable. He is constantly upgrading his computer. He bought a server (I have no clue what that cost). He basically blows off his family or he blows up at his family. Bad mood swings. The only game he plays is minecraft. He showed me a couple of times the "world" him and his friend have created, which I admitt was impressive. But it is ount of control from what I see.

[Suburban Rhythm]

I would say yes it's a problem, very similar to a gambling addiction.

[aran]

People with obsessive personalities will obsess about things that reward their obsessions, in my experience. Games are pretty rewarding and are a viable target for obsession.

[Buccaneer]

And the urgent need for intervention, counseling and serious rehab. So tragic.

[DougW]

People with obsessive personalities will obsess about things that reward their obsessions, in my experience. Games are pretty rewarding and are a viable target for obsession.

Very true.

And, like all obsessions, much more serious than "get over it dude".

Been in in-house rehab twice (cocaine), battled internet porn, alcohol, gaming, and others. Someone with an obsessive personality can definitely lose themselves in a game. Especially the RPG type games, where one can allow their mind to escape to another place. In his case, I'd bet (because I was there) .. that even when he isn't gaming, he thinks about it. ALMOST crossing the line of the game being what is "real", and life just gets in the way of his gaming plans.

To be honest, as an "obsessor", I've found the only way to escape trying to mentally escape real life ... is to obsess over real life :). Not sure if that makes any sense.

Encourage him (or have your wifes' sister) to see how his gaming effects his family and those around him, and that if he'd focus that energy on "real" life he'd be awesome :). Professional help would be helpful if he'd be interested. It takes a strong person to do it alone, and most people who chronically obsess will just move onto another obsession.

[stevew]

How many kids?

[SackAttack]

People with obsessive personalities will obsess about things that reward their obsessions, in my experience.

+1

[MacroGuru]

I would say....I have it at times, especially in the RPG/MMO arena. I tend to forget about life and such and just play...it's at 4 am when I realize I have to get up in 2 hours and work that I start panicing and then my whole day is shot as I berate myself over my stupidity and then focus on reading article all day about the game...

I have had to learn how to control or curb it...

[JonInMiddleGA]

There's seems like at least a reasonable possibility that this addiction may also be symptomatic of other problems.

What I mean is, maybe (just based on the limited info obviously) the games are just his chosen escape from various & sundry other issues. That, I believe, is distinct from "gaming addiction". That implies an inability to stop/control his gaming rather than using gaming as a refuge from other things. The distinction might be whether he would still game the same amount if not for other factors (that I'm extrapolating from scant info).

[DougW]

There's seems like at least a reasonable possibility that this addiction may also be symptomatic of other problems.

What I mean is, maybe (just based on the limited info obviously) the games are just his chosen escape from various & sundry other issues. That, I believe, is distinct from "gaming addiction". That implies an inability to stop/control his gaming rather than using gaming as a refuge from other things. The distinction might be whether he would still game the same amount if not for other factors (that I'm extrapolating from scant info).

This seems spot on to me.

First and foremost, is him appreciating and enjoying his lot in life. If he's not happy, then he looks to "escape".

If he sees a 9-5, boring ass job, with a nagging wife, and $$ sucking kids - then, he's not happy. And is much "happier" when he's God, and creating worlds (or whatever happens in Minecraft).

The solution is that he looks to "happify" his "real life". Get a job (or role at work) that he enjoys (even if it means less $$), and be more active in his family life. Surely his wife (and kids) will provide him happiness if given the chance.

At this point though, like has been said, professional help would be of great help if he accepts he has issues.

[Autumn]

I think most of us have probably experienced a mild version of this. I know I use text sim leagues as a source of amusement during my sometimes boring days. And some days I'll find myself thinking about my teams all during the day, thinking about my plans, etc., filling in the empty mental space. I don't think I have a particularly obsessive personality, but if I did, I could see that growing, and snowballing. Real life never gives us the immediate highs and lows and excitement that alcohol or gaming or gambling does, so after a while I imagine it becomes hard to pull away from that, your brain has become dependent on the rush.

[dubb93]

I feel for him and I would encourage him to seek help.

As for how common, I can't go by anything other than personal experience. I play ALOT of video games, but I've never had problems putting them down, nor have they ever crept into time that I had set aside to do things in life that need to be done. If he can't say the same then he needs to be encouraged to seek help. Jon may be spot on that he may actually need counseling on things besides just videogames.

[dubb93]

I think most of us have probably experienced a mild version of this. I know I use text sim leagues as a source of amusement during my sometimes boring days. And some days I'll find myself thinking about my teams all during the day, thinking about my plans, etc., filling in the empty mental space. I don't think I have a particularly obsessive personality, but if I did, I could see that growing, and snowballing. Real life never gives us the immediate highs and lows and excitement that alcohol or gaming or gambling does, so after a while I imagine it becomes hard to pull away from that, your brain has become dependent on the rush.

I don't think that thinking about videogames during the day is any more abnormal than thinking about your favorite TV show, favorite sports team, or that new grill you want. So I don't think what you are referencing is a mild form of what this guy is going through.

[Autumn]

I don't think that thinking about videogames during the day is any more abnormal than thinking about your favorite TV show, favorite sports team, or that new grill you want. So I don't think what you are referencing is a mild form of what this guy is going through.

I disagree. It's fairly well documented that just about any mental abnormality is simply an extreme version of a "normal" behavior. It doesn't mean the real problems aren't real, or that we're all nutjobs. It just means that we can usually find the kernel of the problem in "regular" folks. I know it helps me empathize with a guy like him to recognize that similarity. And to be clear I wasn't just talking about "thinking about" games, I mean getting in a little rut where you find it taking up all your thought processes, your mind returning to it over and over. Most of us can pull ourselves out of that. A few don't.

[Noop]

Is this a real problem? My sister-in-law's husband has someserious issue going on? He has gone on 18 hour gaming session's. He has run their credtit through the roof. They will be 3 months behing on the mortgage. They owed check n go money. He was refusing to answer his phone, until yesterday when he told the that he died. The only bill he makes sure is paid on time is his internet/cable. He is constantly upgrading his computer. He bought a server (I have no clue what that cost). He basically blows off his family or he blows up at his family. Bad mood swings. The only game he plays is minecraft. He showed me a couple of times the "world" him and his friend have created, which I admitt was impressive. But it is ount of control from what I see.

He's a dick head and needs to grow up.

[stevew]

I'd be mildly concerned if there were guns in the house. He seems hell bent on being a family destroyer. Intervention seems like the only real option here. But I wonder if you're going to face a shitload of resistance since you are not related. Good luck.

[CrimsonFox]

video games i don't really care much about anymore. I pick one up occasionally. Even buy some but some don't get played much. Internet however. Yes I have an addiction.

[BillJasper]

He's a dick head and needs to grow up.

+1

[BYU 14]

There's seems like at least a reasonable possibility that this addiction may also be symptomatic of other problems.

What I mean is, maybe (just based on the limited info obviously) the games are just his chosen escape from various & sundry other issues. That, I believe, is distinct from "gaming addiction". That implies an inability to stop/control his gaming rather than using gaming as a refuge from other things. The distinction might be whether he would still game the same amount if not for other factors (that I'm extrapolating from scant info).

This seems spot on to me.

First and foremost, is him appreciating and enjoying his lot in life. If he's not happy, then he looks to "escape".

If he sees a 9-5, boring ass job, with a nagging wife, and $$ sucking kids - then, he's not happy. And is much "happier" when he's God, and creating worlds (or whatever happens in Minecraft).

The solution is that he looks to "happify" his "real life". Get a job (or role at work) that he enjoys (even if it means less $$), and be more active in his family life. Surely his wife (and kids) will provide him happiness if given the chance.

At this point though, like has been said, professional help would be of great help if he accepts he has issues.

+1 for both these posts.

I, like many of us, use Video games for a mindless escape to unwind, but that time is between 5-6 hours a week. I also do it when my wife is off doing something herself (Nail appointment, Hair, shopping, etc) so it doesn't cut into our time too much, if at all.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

I made a rule a few years ago that whenever my wife and I are in the bedroom hanging out, I put away the laptop and don't play games on the PS3. Good way to allow myself time to play games when she's busy or working, but ensures that you don't screw with personal time in the meanwhile.

[BrianD]

I made a rule a few years ago that whenever my wife and I are in the bedroom hanging out, I put away the laptop and don't play games on the PS3. Good way to allow myself time to play games when she's busy or working, but ensures that you don't screw with personal time in the meanwhile.

This is basically my rule too. I will play occasional laptop games while we are watching TV, but my main gaming in the theater room only happens when she is out doing other things. It probably helps that I like my wife and find spending time with her enjoyable.

I think there is a difference between a gaming addiction and having an obsessive personality. I have known people who get hooked on a particular game and will play it to the detriment of their job and home-life. These sessions seem to come and go. When they go, the people are usually fixated on something else...drinking, reading, TV, study of a new hobby. I think people with obsessive personalities are more susceptible to addiction, but not every obsession is an addiction.

[kcchief19]

There's seems like at least a reasonable possibility that this addiction may also be symptomatic of other problems.

What I mean is, maybe (just based on the limited info obviously) the games are just his chosen escape from various & sundry other issues. That, I believe, is distinct from "gaming addiction". That implies an inability to stop/control his gaming rather than using gaming as a refuge from other things. The distinction might be whether he would still game the same amount if not for other factors (that I'm extrapolating from scant info).
My thinking is along these lines as well. Based on the initial description, my impression went first toward depression than it did addiction. I think if you're going to approach him about seeking help, you're better off starting with a horse (depression) than a zebra (video game addiction) diagnosis.

[spleen1015]

Here's a problem I have with 'scheduling' your gaming around what your wife is doing.

So, you don't game unless your wife is out shopping, getting nails done, whatever else she may do. You have to wait for her to schedule these things before you know when you're going to play. Why can't you decide when you want to play video games then she make her schedule around that?

It is like the toilet seat. She wants me to put it up when I go, but I've violated some international law because I didn't put it back down when I was done. Why can't she put it up when she's done if she doesn't want me to pee on it?

[Noop]

Here's a problem I have with 'scheduling' your gaming around what your wife is doing.

So, you don't game unless your wife is out shopping, getting nails done, whatever else she may do. You have to wait for her to schedule these things before you know when you're going to play. Why can't you decide when you want to play video games then she make her schedule around that?

It is like the toilet seat. She wants me to put it up when I go, but I've violated some international law because I didn't put it back down when I was done. Why can't she put it up when she's done if she doesn't want me to pee on it?

:popcorn:

Not that I disagree with you especially the toilet seat comment. I think people should do whatever they want to do, but it should not be the detriment of your relationship. The idea of having to schedule my video game time around a woman is hilarious, but I am not married so I cannot relate.

[BrianD]

Here's a problem I have with 'scheduling' your gaming around what your wife is doing.

So, you don't game unless your wife is out shopping, getting nails done, whatever else she may do. You have to wait for her to schedule these things before you know when you're going to play. Why can't you decide when you want to play video games then she make her schedule around that?

It is like the toilet seat. She wants me to put it up when I go, but I've violated some international law because I didn't put it back down when I was done. Why can't she put it up when she's done if she doesn't want me to pee on it?

It isn't so much that I schedule the gaming around what my wife is doing. She is an extrovert and I am an introvert. She has enough activities that take her out of the house that I don't really want for gaming time. I don't have many activities outside the house by choice. When she is home, I prefer to do things with her, so it really isn't a sacrifice.

[Logan]

:popcorn:

Not that I disagree with you especially the toilet seat comment. I think people should do whatever they want to do, but it should not be the detriment of your relationship. The idea of having to schedule my video game time around a woman is hilarious, but I am not married so I cannot relate.

How would you feel, if you were married, about your wife not scheduling her sex time around when you are available?

[Neon_Chaos]

... but I am not married so I cannot relate.

:lol: :(

[MizzouRah]

How would you feel, if you were married, about your wife not scheduling her sex time around when you are available?

Haha.. what sex time? I might as well play video games. :D

[BYU 14]

Here's a problem I have with 'scheduling' your gaming around what your wife is doing.

So, you don't game unless your wife is out shopping

Not so much a must as it is a choice. I do it as a courtesy, but there are also times when she is home that I play because I want some me time and she understands that and doesn't stress on it because it is not excessive.

The driving factor for me more than anything is I enjoy spending time with my wife more than I like video games, whether it be going out, watching a show together or just talking. I think what I was getting at is balance is good and I am not bound to schedule my time around her, I just often choose to. I believe couple need both shared and seperate hobbies/diversions as long as they do not become obsessive.

How would you feel, if you were married, about your wife not scheduling her sex time around when you are available?

Sex has no dayplanner brother!! If she is around all bets are off...

[RainMaker]

I'm with Jon and others, this seems to be the result of a deeper problem (depression?). He definitely needs some major help and soon.

I think your sister should tell him that. Tell him he needs to start seeing someone right away. If he won't, I think she should pack up and leave with the kids. They take priority over his video games and this is only hurting them. Might seem like a lot, but it's best to get out before he gets even more desperate.

I'd also add that her and the kids security should be of utmost importance. I don't know if this guy is violent or not, but you never know how he'll react to having his virtual world taken from him. It might be best for her to be in the safest position possible if she has to break news to him that she is leaving for awhile. She may want to talk to a mental health professional about him as well and the best way to approach things.

[dubb93]

It is like the toilet seat. She wants me to put it up when I go, but I've violated some international law because I didn't put it back down when I was done. Why can't she put it up when she's done if she doesn't want me to pee on it?

Way off topic. Funny thing about the toilet seat. I will always put it down in my own home, partly because I don't want the animals in it, and partly out of respect. Where I draw the line was at my old job. We had one restroom. Oftentimes it wasn't as clean as it could be. A female employee yelled at me one day for not putting the seat down. I asked her why she needs me to put the seat down for her. Her answer, "Women don't want to see what is on the bottom of the toilet seat." I guess this woman didn't have a problem with me putting my hand on "whatever" was down there though.

[Noop]

How would you feel, if you were married, about your wife not scheduling her sex time around when you are available?

I have no interest in marriage (at least for the foreseeable future). If she did do that I would be hitting up the backpages. ;)

[Simbo Klice]

Way off topic. Funny thing about the toilet seat. I will always put it down in my own home, partly because I don't want the animals in it, and partly out of respect. Where I draw the line was at my old job. We had one restroom. Oftentimes it wasn't as clean as it could be. A female employee yelled at me one day for not putting the seat down. I asked her why she needs me to put the seat down for her. Her answer, "Women don't want to see what is on the bottom of the toilet seat." I guess this woman didn't have a problem with me putting my hand on "whatever" was down there though.

Does anyone else just piss with the seat down and try to be as accurate as possible?

[Ryan S]

Does anyone else just piss with the seat down and try to be as accurate as possible?

One of my work colleagues pisses with the seat down and does not much car about the accuracy. It honestly does not surprise me if there are splashes on the wall of the stall after he visits.

[RedKingGold]

I get a kick out of Noop. "I'm cooler than all you fuckers", he exclaims on an Internet message board.

[Marc Vaughan]

It isn't so much that I schedule the gaming around what my wife is doing. She is an extrovert and I am an introvert. She has enough activities that take her out of the house that I don't really want for gaming time. I don't have many activities outside the house by choice. When she is home, I prefer to do things with her, so it really isn't a sacrifice.

This is pretty much my case also - with the exception that I play them with my kids also regardless of what my wife is up to; its felt (both by myself and my wife) that they're very good as a bonding experience with the kids.

[Noop]

I get a kick out of Noop. "I'm cooler than all you fuckers", he exclaims on an Internet message board.

If you get that impression I am sorry because I am not cooler than anyone. I might be naive and closed minded when it comes to relationships, but if anyone got the impression I was trying to say I am better then them--again I am sorry.

[Desnudo]

Easiest short term solution is to remove the person from the environment. Or in this case the environment from the person. Take out pcs, server, shut off access to credit...then get him some help

[BYU 14]

Easiest short term solution is to remove the person from the environment. Or in this case the environment from the person. Take out pcs, server, shut off access to credit...then get him some help

Oh no, you don't want to do that ;)

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7dCv-34Dpbc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[DougW]

Oh no, you don't want to do that ;)


I'm pretty sure I raided with that guy.

[SegRat]

He's a dick head and needs to grow up.


That is my opinion. However, his kids are pretty awesome. So I worry about their future. That's the only reason I was asking!

[molson]

FWIW, I think Noop is cooler than me.

And I do agree with him that this guy is just a self-centered turd. Maybe there's a medical reason and he just needs a hug and someone to understand. But right now, he's surely a self-centered turd.

[RedKingGold]

If you get that impression I am sorry because I am not cooler than anyone. I might be naive and closed minded when it comes to relationships, but if anyone got the impression I was trying to say I am better then them--again I am sorry.

My panties just dropped, you ARE good!

[BYU 14]

My panties just dropped, you ARE good!

Hey, Noop is just a truncated version of Snoop and we all know Snoop is a pimp :devil:

[kcchief19]

Oh no, you don't want to do that ;)


Did the upset brother record the beating he gave his brother for putting that video online?

[Mustang]

Ok... my head is spinning not because of him potentially destroying his life over video games, but Minecraft?

I can see the expenditure of time on Minecraft, but destroying credit, behind on bills, server upgrades due to Minecraft? :confused:

(I say that part in jest and part as a question.. I never got into Minecraft so, maybe I'm missing something)